"Stay still. This may hurt a bit." Genkai ordered, resting her hands over me. I swallowed, but did as she commanded, which wasn't hard. Wood floors were never more comfortable, and lying down on the shrine room floor was like what I imagined sleeping on a feather bed would be like.
I grit my teeth and tried to breathe normally at a pulling ache around my ribcage that extended to my left shoulder, and straight into my right hand. It didn't hurt so much as it felt, for the thousandth time today, invasive. Uncomfortable. It wasn't pleasant, and there was an ache for sure, but it didn't 'hurt' per se. What was fascinating was the yellow lightning emanating from her palms. It felt like putting my hands over an energy ball, the static without the pain of what electricity would really do to me. The color and the buzz of warmth reminded me of Kazuma. He had told me about her healing him, but I hadn't taken into account what it would feel like, or if it was truly even real. I had seen first hand someone who was supposedly a demon disappearing into thin air, but for a human woman to project light out her body and heal me? That was something out of a science fiction novel.
Genkai removed her hands, and I tested out my body by stretching out my bad shoulder. Nothing felt out of place or even stiff. It was just my shoulder. I glanced at my hand, finding only smooth skin where only three minutes prior she had had to dig out one of the rocks and some sediment. Even the bruises on my ribs were completely gone.
"You healed me." I stated the obvious, letting my brain grasp this concept. "How did you heal me?"
"This is one of the techniques I have worked to perfect. Spirit energy can be used for many different purposes or to achieve many different ends You just have to understand how to control your own."
"I keep hearing that term. I get the concept, but what is it, really?"
"Spirit energy is something that every human possesses, but only the spiritually aware can use. It is usually brought out when the user is feeling intense emotion, such as the fear and desperation that you felt when you thought you were going to die. It can be used as a weapon, to enhance one's strength, or to heal."
"Okay, so I was born with a limited supply and I can use it until I die or strengthen it? That's why I have to train to use whatever this is?"
"Your spirit energy needs to be strengthened, but you won't die from using it. Your life energy is what will kill you if you use it. Your spirit energy is what you use that allows you to hear me writing from forty feet away, or allows you to sense me when I'm moving around the house." I looked away. How did she know about that? "I know because I could feel your energy growing. Your reaction time increased as your spirit energy strengthened."
"It's creepy when you can tell what I'm thinking."
She smirked, but continued as if I hadn't interrupted.
"Your life energy can be used as a last resort if you use all of your spirit energy and it does not have time to recover. Your energy requires rest and recuperation the same as your body does. I would not recommend using your life energy under any circumstances."
"So humans have both spirit and life energy, but not all humans can use either one... Psychics can use spirit energy though, and life energy if they absolutely need to..." I bit my lip, laying my head back on the ground staring up at the ceiling. "So what happened..."
"What happened was your spirit energy reacting to a life or death situation. You were panicked and your energy came out to protect you." She motioned me to sit up, and I groaned but complied. "Your energy manifested itself when you are overwhelmed with emotion. And I suspect that this isn't the first time it's happened."
"What are you talking about?"
"When you first arrived here, I hadn't planned on taking you on as my apprentice. When you threw your little temper tantrum, my cup of tea conveniently was flung across the room. I admit that this was when I became curious of your potential, and sure enough your score on your ability for growth exceeded even the score of your cousin, which was extraordinary on it's own. As I have been training you, your stress has increased exponentially. I have ensured that by being particularly harsh in your schooling, pushing your mind past it's limit and exhausting you to attempt to bring out this power within you, and your resistance to it has been impressive. When you're awake, anyway."
"Be plain with me, please." I rubbed my eyes, hunching in on myself. That pressure at the back of my head was back, creeping further up my skull and finding a nesting spot in the back of my eyes, which made me rub harder to try and relieve it. It didn't work.
"You've been having nightmares." She complied, standing up and pouring herself a glass of water. "I went into your room last night during one of these nightmares and was met by levitating discs of water. You were terrified by what was going on, begging for your father. Your power reacted to your terror."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I grit my teeth, water rushing in my ears and a screaming child's voice drowning in the waves.
"You may not want to remember, but you do know. Why are you afraid of your power, Gavriella?"
"I don't have any power! Strange things happen every day. Just because I can see colors and my spirit awareness is higher than normal doesn't mean that I have some kind of magical power. You must have been tired, or dreaming. It happens all the time!" I pulled my knees to my chest, trying to push down the noise in my ears. "Why is it so loud?!"
"What do you hear?"
"The water must be in my ears... I need to go drain my ears, there's so much pressure in my head..."
"There's pressure in your head because you're suppressing something that's completely natural, and it's telling you that it's time to come to terms with it."
"You're wrong!" I pushed myself to my feet, my vision tunneling for the thousandth time today. I stayed focused on her face, feeling my body tensing to prevent it from swaying. "I don't. Have. Powers! There's nothing special about me! I'm not any different than anyone else in the world!"
"Then explain that." Genkai wiggled her finger to either side of me. I glared to the left, and felt the color drain from my face.
Two feet away from me was a levitating disc of water, bobbing gently up and down. I whipped my head to the right as well, seeing one more, and two above me. I backed away, watching them move in front of me. Genkai's empty glass of water was held in a lazy grip to her side.
"I'm dreaming." I grasped at straws to try and rationalize this. Something about this situation was terrifying to me, and I couldn't explain it in words. It was like something in my head was ripping away tiny pieces of who I was by admitting that this might really be me.
Genkai stayed silent, watching me, analyzing me. It made me uncomfortable, which sparked irrational rage in my gut.
"I just wanted answers! I didn't want this! I don't want to be different, Genkai. I just want to be normal for once." My vision got blurry, the familiar burn of tears making itself known. "I just wanted to understand what was happening to me, not encourage it. Make it stop."
"You know I can't do that."
"Why?" My voice broke, and I hated myself for it. I had never hated anything so much as I hated who I was in that moment in time. A weak, pathetic little girl looking for an easy fix to a problem she didn't know she's been avoiding. And the look in Genkai's eyes made everything so much worse. The last thing I wanted was for someone to look at me with pity, especially the woman I had grown to respect and care about in the last few weeks. "I'm sorry, I just-I don't know what to do."
The sound came over me again, the rushing of water. I closed my eyes and covered my ears, grinding my teeth to try and drown out the screaming.
'Papà... papà per favore!'
"I have to go." I turned and darted out of the room, making my way outside again, into the sunshine. I passed the hill and the hiking trail and made my way straight to the ring of trees that she had made me weave through a week past. The little girl was still screaming in my head, and I punched one of the trees as hard as I could, screaming myself just to drown out the noise before I went insane.