Chapter 19: Home Sweet Home

The last time I had been here had been just after the accident. It was one time, just one. I was never a fan of the way this place made me feel. Like I was walking through a spiders web and I couldn't shake it off. I felt the same way now as I did then. The cemetery where the people of Mystic Falls buried their dead was right at the edge of town. The warm sun and light breeze didn't match the raging storm of emotions I felt inside as I made my way across the green grass.

It had taken me almost two days to get back to Mystic Falls after receiving the news that Jenna was dead. The school wasn't about to let me leave until guardianship had been figured out since I was legally still a minor. Luckily Alaric had called and sorted it all out for me and I was able to pack up and leave. Then it was a long seven hour drive from New York to Mystic Falls. The entire drive I felt like I was on autopilot as I tried to wrap my head around the fact that Jenna was gone.

The cemetery was the first place I stopped at when I finally made it back to Mystic Falls. I hadn't even bothered to call my siblings and tell them I was back in town. I just needed to see her, say goodbye to her. A part of me was completely devastated that I had missed the funeral. That I hadn't been there for Elena and Jeremy. But another part of me was grateful for that. I couldn't go through watching her being buried, not Jenna.

"I'm sorry." I whispered softly at the headstone I found myself standing in front of. I don't know why I was apologizing, but for some reason I just felt the need to say sorry. Jenna didn't deserve to die. She was a kind and supportive woman who dropped everything to care for us after our parents died. "I'm so sorry." Maybe I was apologizing because I wasn't there for her after the accident. Maybe it was for leaving in the first place. But in the end there was nothing I could have done to stop this from happening.

Alaric had said that it was a car accident. Uncle John had been driving and they were hit by someone at a stop sign. I didn't know John well. He was our Dad's brother, but he didn't spend much time with us. Still, I mourned for him as well.

The sun was starting to sink low in the sky and colored the gravestones in it's orange light. "Thank you, for everything." Sorrow filled me and I closed my eyes and hung my head. Loss was never easy, but knowing that I would never see her again made my stomach twist and a deep sadness fill my heart. I was going to miss her so much, and while her death would leave a sizable hole in my heart, I knew she wouldn't want us to be sad forever.

When I pulled up in front of my home I noticed that the driveway was empty and there were no lights on showing someone was home. I figured Elena was somewhere with Stefan and that Jeremy was no doubt at the Grill or something. It was when I stepped through the front door with my bags that it really hit me. The air in the house felt stale and my gut clenched at the realization that Jenna wasn't here to greet me.

I suddenly felt an onslaught of exhaustion come over me. The eerie quiet of the house followed me as I made my way up stairs. After unceremoniously dropping my bags onto the floor of my room, I took a moment to glance around the space. My room looked exactly how I left it.

I should have felt happy to be home, but the sorrow I felt over Jenna drowned any sort of warm feelings I had. All I could really feel was how tired I was and after a hot shower and a clean change of clothes, I dropped my body onto my bed and let out a sigh of relief. Sleep came easy and as I found myself falling into the darkness of my mind, I suddenly had the distinct feeling that I had forgotten something important. But before I could really think on the matter, the darkness swallowed me up.

"Hello?" My voice echoed through the trees as I called out into the night. I knew I was in the wood surrounding Mystic Falls, but I had no idea how I had ended up wandering through the trees so late at night. "Is anyone there? Finn? Nik?" I found it strange that I'd call out those names, considering I didn't recognise them. But I continued walking with the moon's light to guide my way.

Fear was starting to fill my gut and I wrapped my arms around myself for comfort. Something wasn't right here. "This way." My head snapped to the left of me and I found my feet frozen as a voice reached my ears. It was light and airy; a woman's voice. "This way."

"Hello? Who's there?" I glanced between the trees in hope I would spot someone, but the darkness of the woods blocked out any sign of any one else near me. "Please, I'm lost and I don't know how to get out." I pleaded with the voice.

"This way." It spoke again. This time I knew it was coming from somewhere within the trees in front of me. I knew it was a bad idea to step off the trail, but for some reason I knew I needed to follow the voice. "This way, my little one." The woman's voice sounded on the wind and without any more thought I stepped off the train into the trees.

"Mother! Mother please help me!" A child's screams met my ears as I walked further into the trees. The sound made my body turn cold and fear grabbed hold of my heart. "Help me, please!" Tears stung at my eyes and I found my feet lifting off the ground as I broke out into a run. "Help me!"

"This way." The voice continued to whisper to me as I ran. The child's screams continued on and I felt my stomach twist. My breath came out in gasps as I ran and begged for it to go away.

"Kol! Elijah! Please, answer me!" I called out as my heart was pounding within my chest. "Anyone!?"

"Wake up, love." A new voice called out to me and I found my body unresponsive as I continued to run. "Serena, it's time to wake up." His words came out like a growl on the wind and I found my stomach tightening in fear. More growls met my ears and a sudden howl off in the distance had me coming to a sudden stop.

"Nik!" I shouted with all my might as my body suddenly started to fall though the earth.

"Wake up!"The voice growled out as my body dropped.

My head felt dizzy as I shot up. Everything was blurry due to the sudden onslaught of light surrounding me. My heart was pounding in my chest as I blinked and my sight adjusted. I suddenly found myself very confused as my vision cleared and I realized that I was in a much different place than where I had fallen asleep at.

Instead I found myself sitting just inside of the tree line surrounding the backyard of my home. I stared in dazed confusion at my surroundings. I had never had a problem with sleep walking before, but this seemed a bit extreme for a first time. I tried to think back on whatever I had been dreaming about, but all I could remember was growling a voice telling me to wake up. It was all very confusing and mildly concerning. I pushed myself off the ground and made my way towards the back door and hoped to god no one was awake yet. The last thing I needed was for Elena to find out and worry about me sleep walking of all things.

The house was quiet as I made my way upstairs. When I reached my room I made sure to softly close the door and check the digital alarm clock next to my bed for the time. I cringed at the seven am that blinked back at me in neon green.

With a soft groan I sat myself on the edge of my bed and ran a hand through my pale colored locks. I could feel an array of leaves and twigs that had hitched a ride and let out another soft groan.

After spending the rest of my morning pulling leaves out of my hair and taking a quick shower, I dressed for the day and headed down stairs. All morning I noticed this strange feeling that I was forgetting something important. I could remember falling asleep with the same feeling, but I just couldn't remember what it was that I was forgetting.

When I got down stairs I made my way into the kitchen and saw both Elena and Jeremy talking quietly to one another. As soon as my presence became known to them they ended whatever conversion they were having and looked up at me.

"Hey," Jeremy perked up and slipped off the chair at the kitchen island and pulled me into a long hug. "I'm glad you're back, Serena. How was the drive?"

I smiled fondly at my little brother as he stepped back. "It was long, but I'm happy to be home. I don't think I was made to live in the big city." Jeremy's smile fades slightly and I noticed his brows creas at my words. I looked away from Jeremy and caught my sister's eye. I had been hoping that with my return to Mystic Falls that she would be happy to see me, but the cold sadness that filled her eyes told me a different story. "Uh, I was going to head over to the Grill for breakfast. Do you guys want to come with me?" I was hoping to hear them say yes. I wanted to spend time with my family.

"Actually, the park is hosting a movie night. Gone with the Wind." Jeremy started and glanced at Elena before looking back at me. "Elena thought it would be a good idea for us to go. Granted it's a three house chick movie." Jeremy grimaced at the idea and I let out a small laugh at his pain.

"That sounds like fun." I gave the two a small smile, and while Jeremy returned the gesture, Elena didn't. I knew something was wrong with my sister. I could see the struggle in her eyes. She was upset and I had a feeling it was because of me. I wondered if she was upset that I wasn't here for the funeral. Worry filled my stomach and I prayed she would talk to me about it soon. I didn't know how long I could stand having her upset with me.

I knew we were going to have to talk about it at some point. The two of us had never been that far apart from one another before. We were twins, granted we looked nothing alike, but we were sisters and I loved Elena. I didn't want her to be mad at me, and I was willing to do whatever it takes to make things better between us.

When the three of us arrived at the park, Jeremy and Elena went off to find a spot for us to sit, while I went to grab us some food and snacks at the vendor stands. Elena had mentioned something about Caroline meeting us with a picnic basket, but what movie isn't complete without popcorn.

While I stood in line for the salty treat, my phone began to buzz in my pocket. I pulled my cell out and unlocked the screen. When I saw the name of the contact calling me I became confused. It said Elijah, but I didn't know anyone named Elijah. I wonder if it was someone from the school in New York, but I couldn't remember ever meeting anyone with that name, or saving their number.

"Hello?" I answered the call and hoped that whoever was calling wasn't going to be giving me anymore bad news.

"Serena." A shiver ran down the length of my spine as a man's voice spoke up from the other end of the phone. "Where are you?" His question had me tilting my head and before I could even think of it I was answering his question.

"I'm in the park." The sudden thought of stranger danger came to the forefront of my mind, but for some reason I wasn't really that concerned about this man knowing where I was. But that didn't mean I didn't need some answers. "Um, who is this? Are you someone from the arts school?" Silence met my question and I found my feet frozen to the earth as a low growl came through the phone. I had never heard a sound like that, but what scared me was the reaction I was having because of that sound.

"Serena." His voice growled out my name lowly and I felt my stomach clench at the sound. "I need you to go to the tree, Elskan. Go to the tree and I will meet you there tonight." My brows narrowed at the request, but before I could ask the man what he meant by his words the line went dead.

Confusion filled me as I stood there with my phone still held up to my ear. For some strange reason that I just couldn't understand, I wanted to listen to his request. But the more rational part of my brain was reminding me that I had no clue what he was even talking about. What tree?

"Oh my god! Serena, you're home!" I was pulled out of the internal war going on inside of me by the sound of Caroline's voice. The blond haired girl collided with me as she pulled me into a sudden hug. I felt my entire body stiffen up at the abrupt contact. "Oh I've missed you so much." Caroline placed her hands on my shoulders and pulled away so we were standing face to face. "So tell me about New York? Did you make any friends? How was the food?" Her words sounded jumbled as they went in one ear and out the other.

The air around Caroline felt heavy and her sudden appearance had my entire being on edge. But I didn't know why. Caroline has been in my life since we were both just kids, but for some reason I wanted to get far away from her. It was like warning bells were going off in the back of my head and nothing was helping quiet the sound. No matter what I told myself, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was in danger.

It took everything for me to not flinch and keep a straight face as I spoke to her. "I, uh. It was fine." I forced the words out and hoped Caroline didn't notice how distressed I was feeling. "The city was, um, big." I cringed at my own words and Caroline tilted her head in concern.

"Okay, what happened? What's wrong?" Worry filled Caroline's eyes as she looked me over and tried to find any physical wrongs with me. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

"I'm fine. Nothing happened." I practically squeaked the words out as I tired to reign in the strange feelings I was getting. Caroline was my friend and someone I trusted, and yet I felt like I was suffocating from the heavy air surrounding her.

Caroline frowned at my words and took a step back, releasing my shoulders from her hold. "Are you sure?" She asked and I opened my mouth the reply, but a sudden strong breeze swept between us.

"This way, my little one." My eyes went wide and I glanced around the busy park. There was no one near us as I searched for whoever had said that. The voice had sounded shockingly familiar, but I couldn't place where I had heard it before.

"Serena? Are you alright?" I glanced back at Caroline. Something was wrong and I knew it all had to do with that man, Elijah, who had called me. Go to the tree, he had said.

"This way, my little one. Into the trees." My gaze snapped towards the tree line that surrounded the park. I felt a shiver run down my spine. The breeze on the air ruffled at my loose hair and I felt my heart start to pound inside of my chest.

"Serena?" Carolines voice pulled me out of whatever trance I had found myself in. She looked at me in worry.

"I, uh, I'm sorry. But I have to go." I turned away from Caroline and made my way towards the tree line. I didn't bother looking behind me to check to see if she was following me. Something in the air was telling me that she hadn't.

"Come now. This way." I felt the air grow clear and clean as I stepped through the trees and walked into the woods. I followed after the strange voice and left behind any doubts of what was happening as I walked further and further into the trees.

The woods closed in around me. With each step I felt my body become lighter as I left the populated park behind me. The warning bells were gone and that strange sense of danger was gone with them. "This way." The voice whispered and I followed after it deeper and deeper into the woods.

"This way, come my little one." I knew in reality that normal people don't just follow strange voices into the woods, but I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to rationalize this, but there wasn't any rational thought to it. For some reason I found the woods to be comforting and safe. "You're almost there now. Just a little further." As the voice spoke I noticed a strange patch of green peeking through the trees in front of me. I squinted at the sight and as I got closer I could tell that there was some kind of clearing just beyond the trees.

When I broke through the trees I found myself in a small clearing, one where a large oak tree took center stage. I found my jaw dropping at the beautiful sight. The oak must have been old, very old. It's twisted trunk reached up towards the sky as its branches covered most of the small clearing in it's shade, leaving the sunlight to find small patches to shine through. It was beautiful.

"It's time to remember, Serena." The voice spoke up and I found myself moving closer to the large tree. "Remember what you have been forced to forget." There was something strange about the tree. Something warm, and almost alive.

I reached out and gently placed my palm flat against it's rough bark. My feet were frozen to the ground as a sudden warmth spread throughout my body at the contact. A small smile pulled at the corners of my lips, but before I could step back, a sudden piercing pain erupted through my skull. "Ahhh!" I couldn't stop the scream from escaping my lips as I fell to my knees in pain. The hand that wasn't trapped against the tree shot up to grasp at my head as it pounded in agony.

"Stop! Please, make it stop!" I cried out before clenching my teeth to keep another scream from bubbling up in my throat.

"You must remember, my little one." The voice sounded as if it was coming from directly in front of me. "You must remember." My brain felt like it was going to explode and to make matters worse, my entire body was starting to heat up.

I tried my best to curl up as my blood suddenly became scorching. It felt as if someone had poured boiling water inside of me. It was unbearable and I couldn't stop the cries of pain from escaping my lips.

Then my eyes snapped open and a gasp was forcing its way through my throat. Images filled my head. Images of past lives lived long ago. My life as a child born to Jacob and Elizabeth Smith. Being born a Salvatore and my brothers, Damon and Stefan. Blurry images of a blonde haired girl as the two of us ran through these very woods. Elena, Jeremy, and our parents. The truth about our parents. The truth about me. Caroline and Bonnie. Werewolves, witches, and vampires. Fae.

The last thing I remembered made tears erupt from my eyes. I watched as Damon took a hold of my necklace and yank it from my neck before he compelled me. Damon, my brother, compelled me to forget everything, and Stefan and Elena just stood there. They let it happen. My sister didn't fight for me, she didn't even try to stop him.

Elijah. I had been forced to forget him. The one person who held all the answers and Damon made me forget him. But Elijah knew now and he had sounded so angry on the phone when he realized what had happened. There would be no stopping him from finding me.

I felt my body go heavy and fall to the ground. Brown eyes came to the forefront of my thoughts as I curled up at the base of my oak tree. My tears continued to flow as memories came back, but with them came the onslaught of emotions. Heartbreak filled me as betrayal coursed through my veins. I clenched my eyes closed and prayed for darkness to take me. I didn't want to feel anymore. I didn't want to feel like my whole world had just been ripped out from under me.

My wish was granted and with my eyes still closed, I felt my body start to slump into the earth as darkness swallowed me up. I wanted this all to be some nightmare where I would wake and things would be fine. I wanted the pain filling my heart to go away. But most of all, I wanted Elijah.

The first thing I saw as my eyes slowly opened was the sight of the waning moon peeking through the branches of the old oak tree. I laid there under the tree staring up at the moon as my mind caught up with my body. I had somehow broken the compulsion and all my memories were swimming around in my head. The moon's pale light shined down and I basked in her glow as the weight of the last few days lifted off my shoulders.

A laugh bubbled in my throat and I let the mocking sound out as I pulled my hands up to my face. Tears stung at my eyes and struggled to keep them from falling free. While a weight had been lifted, a new weight was making it's home upon my shoulders.

After taking a deep breath and pulling myself together as best as I could, I sat up and pushed myself off the ground. The earth held steady as I leaned most of my weight against the oaks trunk. I was going to need all the strength I could muster for what I was about to do next.

It was easy for me to guide myself through the woods. I felt no fear of getting lost. I knew these woods like the back of my hand and I knew exactly where I was going. The air around me would shift and I basked in the feeling of being able to feel the energy around me as my hands skimmed across tree trunks. I had been made to forget such an important part of myself. A part I still didn't understand, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

As I got closer to my destination I spotted lights peeking through the trees and as I walked closer to the edge of the woods I could make out the boarding house just ahead of me. Both Damons and Elena's cars were parked on the gravel driveway. My feet were silent as I walked up the driveway and opened the front door without making a sound.

The large home was silent as I walked inside and closed the door quietly behind me. I reached out and felt the energy flex and I knew I was feeling Damons vampire energy and slowly made my way up the stairs. I did my best to hold my head up high as I made it to the second floor. As I got closer to Damon's room I could feel Elena standing close beside him. There was no sign of anyone else nearby and I figured Stefan wasn't anywhere in the boarding house.

I would not back down from this. I would not crumble under the eyes of those I loved and they would hear my words whether they wanted to hear them or not. I was angry. I was heartbroken. But mostly, I was full of sorrow. Sorrow because the memories of love I have for them were rotting away with the knowledge that they had done something so cruel to me. They had taken the one thing I craved most in life, my memories and the answers I was searching so hard for. They took away the love I felt for Elijah. I had been so close, so close to learning the truth and he had promised to be beside me as I did.

"It's going to be okay now, Damon." I heard my sister's voice as I walked up the open door way. "You're going to be okay." I stopped just short of the door way and stood there for a moment in the shadows. I could make out Damon struggling to sit up in the large bed with Elena's back facing me. The vampire looked a little worse for wear as he sat up with the help of my sister.

With a deep breath I crossed over the threshold and into the light of the room. Damons steel blue gaze immediately caught sight of me and I watched as his eyes went wide. The look had Elena turning around and her own gaze going wide with worry and confusion.

"We need to talk." Was all I said to them before truing away and making my way back down stairs. I was going to do this on my terms and they were going to listen. So with a deep breath, I made my way into the living room and did my best to steel my nerves. I placed myself on the other side of the room as I felt Elena and Damon follow behind me. The space between us offered me a small amount of comfort and some control of the situation.

"Serena, is everything okay?" Elena spoke up and I felt my heart clench as the sound of her voice. She had crossed her arms over her chest and had her signature look of concern and worry written out all over her face.

"No." I answered honestly. "Everythings not okay. In fact. Everything is shit." I hissed out the last word and Elena flinched. I glanced over at Damon who stood perfectly still as I spoke. No emotion on his face. "You betrayed me. You took my memories and sent me away like some useless prop." Emotion was filling me and fast as I spoke. It was like a dam had broken somewhere inside of me and everything was flooding out of me.

"Serena we-" My sister stopped her words before she spoke again. "I had no choice." I cut her off with a glare and a scoff.

"No choice? No choice in what? Not trusting me, your sister. You had all the choices in the world, Elena, and you chose to hurt me." I felt no victory at the distressed look that overcame her face. "You practically banished me from my home and took the most important thing from me." I looked away from Elena and at the vampire standing beside her. "I trusted you. I trusted you with all I had and you took everything from me. Changed me into something I never was nor could ever be." I could see the defeat and turmoil brewing in Damon's eyes.

"Serena, we were trying to protect you. Elijah was-" I snapped my eyes back to Elena.

"Elijah was what? Elijah was doing what I asked and protecting the people I care about." I reminded her. "We had a plan. A plan where no one had to die. If you had just listened to me and trusted my judgement." I let my words die before I said anything more. I was angry and I wanted them to know it, but I wasn't going to be spiteful.

"Oh come on, Serena." Damon finally broke his silence. "Your Original boyfriend was going to let the sacrifice happen. That was his big plan." Damons pointed out and I narrowed my gaze at him.

"No. That was never the plan, Damon." I spoke with as much conviction as I could. "I was going to break the curse. Klaus would have been weak afterwards. Whatever Elijah had planned for him was up to him to decide."

"He was using you." Damon snapped. "Can't you see that? The bastard was just trying to get you to do his bidding."

Anger filled my gut and I could feel the air around me fill with a sort of static. "You know nothing about him." I hissed.

"And you do?" Damon shot back and I shook my head.

"Serena, please. Just listen to us. We wanted to protect you from Elijah and Klaus. Katherine told me that if Klaus ever got his hands on you, he would never let you go." Elena explained and I felt my eyes go wide with disbelief, but not at her explanation.

"So you believed her? You believed the vampire who killed me when I was just a defenceless sixteen year old girl? After everything she's done?" Elena winced and recoiled at my words. "You know what, I don't care about what Kluas would have done to me. If I had been the one to break the curse, Jenna would still be alive."

"So what, you blame us for her death?" Damon growled out with his signature bullshit tone.

"No. I don't blame you. I don't even blame Klaus. I blame myself." I didn't stop the tears from filling my eyes as they burned a trail down my cheeks. "I blame myself because I wasn't strong enough to stop you. Because I trusted you and that is a mistake I won't be making again." I walked around the two with quick steps and made my way towards the front door.

"Wait, Serena." I heard Elena start after me and I turned to face her in the hall. "Serena I'm so sorry. I-"

"Stop. No more apologies." My heart was breaking. Elena was my sister, my twin sister. I should be able to trust her with everything and yet, here we stood. "You've done enough."

With that said I turned on my heel and left. I knew nothing was ever going to be the same after this. Damon, Elena, and Stefan were now going to have to pay the price. They were going to lose me.

~Break~

Elena stood standing in the hall. Staring at where her sister had once stood. She turned and walked back into the living where she found Damon filling a glass to the brim with bourbon. "Damon." Elena spoke up to get the vampires attention. "We have to fix this. We need to do something. I can't- I can't live with Serena hating me." Elena admitted to the vampire.

But Damon was going through his own sorrows over what had just transpired. Serena had somehow broken the compulsion. The compulsion he did thinking he was protecting his little sister from the big bad Originals. He had fucked up. This was on him and he knew it. Without any warning Damon threw the glass of bourbon at the fireplace. It shattered with a satisfying crack and the fire hissed.

"Go home, Elena." Damon spoke without looking at the doppelgänger. Serena was his little sister, his responsibility and he had fucked it all up. He had been given a second chance to be with her. She trusted him even after witnessing first hand how much he had changed. Even after all the death he caused, she still loved him like she had when she had actually been born his family.

"Damon." Elena spoke up from behind him.

"I said, go home." Damon hissed out as veins crawled up his face. Everything was fucked. Stefan had given his freedom over to Klaus for the cure to Damon's werewolf bite. His brother had risked it all for him, and now this. Now his precious little sister hated him, and while he should be blaming himself for what he did to Serena, none of this would have happened if Klaus had never come to Mystic Falls.

~Break~

With the rising of the sun came a new day. But my heart still weighed heavily in my chest just as it did the night before. With the compulsion now broken, my memories of my life were back. But I was still left with questions. Questions that could have been answered had I been trusted to make my own decisions. Now I was going to need to come up with a new plan. Elijah had called me yesterday before I got my memories back. Unfortunately every time I've tried to call him he hasn't answered. Worry came over me and I knew something was wrong, but what could I do to fix this?

I knew I was going to need to come up with something, but first I needed to get out of the house. I didn't have it in me to run into my sister right now.

The Grill was at its standard capacity as I sat silently at the booth near the back. I had been trying to gather my thoughts and work on a plan to get into contact with Elijah. But I didn't exactly have a whole lot of options. There wasn't exactly a hotline for contacting Original vampires.

I had officially hit the wall. My options were running out and I had no real idea what my next step should be. So I sat there, just staring down at my hands on the table as I tried to pull it together. What was I supposed to do now?

"Hey." My eyes snapped up from the table to find Caroline. She looked nervous and unsure of herself as she stood there and I immediately knew something was wrong. "Do you mind if I sit?" She asked quietly and I nodded my head. Silence took over the air between us as we stared at one another. There was a lot to talk about, but I didn't know if I could handle any more talk. "I'm sorry." Caroline blurted out the words and I found my eyebrows raising at the sudden outburst. "I am so, so, so sorry. I should have done something. I should have tried to undo the compulsion or make Damon undo it. I should have done more and I could have-"

A small laugh escaped my lips as I shook my head at the blond vampire. She had been talking so fast I could barely understand most of what she was saying, but I got the gist of it. "I don't blame you, Caroline." Her body slumped in her seat as she took in my words with a sad look in her eyes.

"But, why not? I mean, I'm your friend and I didnt do anything to help you." Caroline frowned and I gave her a small smile.

"I know. But that doesn't make this your fault." I started to explain. "Damon, Elena, and Stefan made the choice to do what they did, and not even you could have stopped that."

"But I didn't do anything to help you." She reminded me in a small voice.

"There's nothing that you could have done, Caroline. They made the decision to compel me to forget. This is on them." It was the truth and I could see the understanding settle in Caroline's eyes. "They did this and now they have to live with the consequences. And I'm going to find my answers."

"How are you going to do that?" Caroline asked.

I thought about my answer. There was one thing I could do, but I had a feeling no one was going to like it. "I'm going to find Klaus." Carolines eyes went wide and her jaw fell open. "He's the only one who can tell me where Elijah is."

"What?! Are you crazy Serena?" Carline leaned over the table and stared at me. "Klaus will kill you or worse." She hissed out. I shrugged my shoulders at her and she let out a dramatic sigh and rolled her eyes. "No. No, no. This is a bad idea." She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back.

"I don't exactly have a whole lot of options, Care." I pointed out. "Elijah was the only one I knew who had the answers I needed. If Klaus knows where he is, then maybe I can make a deal."

"This is crazy." She muttered to herself. "He's done such terrible things, Serena. What if he hurts you?"

"I'm willing to take the chance." I was being honest with her, but I could tell this all didn't sit well with her. I leaned across the table so I was closer to her. "I need to do this, Caroline. I have been living my entire life wondering what I am and who I am. Elijah was my answer, he was everything. I have to find out what happened to him. And Klaus is my answer to that."

"Okay." She let out in a sigh. "Fine, but you're not doing this alone." Caroline sat up straight and pulled her shoulder back. I smiled at the vampire and felt my own shoulders slump.

"Thank you." I paused. "Just one more thing. Let's not tell anyone about this. Not right now." Caroline nodded her head in understanding. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I needed to do this. At least, I was going to try.

It hadn't been a part of my plan to end up back at the cemetery, but I needed to mourn her, them, properly. Because while they hadn't been the parents they needed to be, they were still my parents. John and Isobel were dead. John gave his life to bring Elena back and for that I would thank him. Granted I could never forgive him for what he tried to do to me, but he deserved to be recognised for his sacrifice.

I stood before the graves of my family and wondered just how many more loved ones I was destined to lose in this lifetime. Just how many more would be taken from me.

I kneeled down and rested my knees on the grass before their headstones. "Thank you, for everything." I placed my hand flat on the earth before closing my eyes concentrating on the energy around me. When I opened my eyes the grass in front of me was filled with white clover. I stood back up and with one last look at the graves, I turned away and headed back towards my car.

When I got home later that evening the house was empty. I knew Alaric had been staying here since Jenna died. Things were different now, things felt different now. I made my way upstairs and I couldn't help myself as I glanced at Jenna's bedroom door. A sadness I haven't felt for sometime settled itself within me. Loss was never easy, but knowing I could have done something to save her, hurt.

I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. Emotion continued to swell inside of me like a raging storm and I wondered how long it would be until I felt like myself again. But after thinking that thought I remembered that things would never be the same.

I sat down on the edge of my bed with a heavy sigh and glanced around the room. It's gone through some changes over the years as I grew, but in the end it's been my home and safeplace for so long. As I looked around the space my eyes landed on the leather bound journal resting on my dresser. I stood up and reached for the book. As I flipped through its pages I was met with rough sketches of memories I could barely remember. Drawings of my family, from now and in the past, but it was the last page I'd drawn in that pulled at my attention.

Elijah. I gently rubbed my fingers over the image. My heart ached at the sight and I felt a great sorrow flow through me. He had been real. He knew me and he had been real. Elijah was the missing piece I had been praying for, a glimmer of hope that I would have the answers I craved. He let me feel things I've only dreamed of in past memories, and he made it all seem real.

I closed my journal and held it in my hands as I sat back down on my bed. I had to find him. I needed to find him. But that meant having to find Klaus, and Klaus was a wild card that I knew nothing about. He was dangerous and I was playing a dangerous game in trying to find him. I had no real defence against someone as powerful as him. I didn't even know what being a Fae truly meant for me.

I never got the chance to ask Elijah what exactly being a Fae meant for me. I knew there had to be more to Fae then what Bonnie was able to find. I felt like my answers were clouded in a thick mist that I was aimlessly walking through with no idea which way to go. I was blind to what any of this really meant, and that scared me. If the wrong person found out about me, if Klaus found out before I had a chance to find him, I was going to end up in worse danger then I was already in.

I set my journal down on the bed and stood up. I knew what I had to do, but I was going to be mostly alone in all this. When I opened my bedroom door I hadn't been expecting to find Jeremy standing on the other side with his fist rais and ready to knock.

"Oh, hey there, sis." Jeremy awkwardly lowered his hand and I titled my head at him in confusion. Something felt different about him. Not necessarily bad, just different, off. "Can we, uh, talk?" I nodded my head without saying anything and made room for him to walk through the doorway. I closed the door behind me and crossed my arms over my chest as my little brother turned to face me. "Listen. I just want to start off by saying I'm sorry. What they did to you was wrong, and I should have done something to stop them."

I shook my head and held up a hand to stop him. "Jeremy, Damon is a vampire, one whos already snapped your neck and is more than willing to do it again to get his way." I pointed out. "What they did is something I will never forgive them for, not for a long time. But this isn't on you, or Caroline, or even Bonnie. They made the choice to erase my memories. Not you."

Jermey frowned and shook his head. "What I don't understand is why they did it? Why did Damon send you away?"

"Because of the deal I made with Elijah." I started to explain to him. "The deal was made to keep everyone safe. I break the curse for Klaus and everyone, including Elena, lives." I was still so angry at them and I could feel that anger rolling in my stomach as I spoke to Jeremy. "I needed them to trust me and they chose not to. They sent me away without giving me any choice on the matter."

"I'm sorry, Serena." Jeremy and I stood staring at each other and I gave him a small smile.

"It's fine, little brother." Jeremy didn't seem convinced by my words and cleared the space between us and pulled me into his arms.

"You're not fine, Serena. But I'll be here for you. I promise." Tears filled my eyes at Jeremy's words and I clung to my brother as sobs broke through my lips. "I love you." I buried my face in his chest and just let the sorrow flow out of me. I mourned Jenna's death. I mourned for John and Isobel. But most of all, I mourned for the heartbreak I would forever have to live with because of Damon and Stefan, and especially Elena.

A/N: I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been reading and supporting this story. I am loving writing Serena's story and I cant wait to post the next few chapters. I also just want to give another warning, this is a rated M story. It is also a story where a single character is paired with multiple partners. So if that is not your thing, please, do not continue to read this story or bother leaving nasty reviews.

A shout out to Sam, Guest 2.0, xrystsan, BreeB23, xBlueslothx, and Brookeworm3. Thank you for all you're reviews, some of them honestly made me so happy to read.

Post days are on Monday. Please feel free to leave a review if you have any questions or comments.

Stay safe everyone.