AN/ Sorry it's taken this long to post but I've been ill, which didn't help, but mainly I just suck, we all know this by now, don't expect that to change anytime soon, well ever actually.
So I've vowed to just never mention to any of you when I hope to post, it leads only to feelings of 'grrrr' on both our parts.
But looky, looky it's a new chapter...
Part 42
Angrily Peyton grabbed for her clothes and dressed as quickly as possible. You've screwed this one up beyond fixing Sawyer and you know it! She thought dropping the sheet to pull her jeans on and grab for the rest of her things.
Fuck!
Throwing her top on she refused to look in Lucas's direction but could see from the corner of her eye that he was just as busy as she was trying to get dressed.
"Nathan, damn it, go after her!" She prompts as she notices he was still standing in the doorway taking in the disaster scene in front of him with wide eyes.
"Oh shit!" Nathan murmurs before running out after Brooke.
Not bothering with shoes Peyton quickly takes off after him, working her way through the crowd that had gathered after Brooke's rapid exit, her fear rising with each step.
Racing to the bottom of the stairs she reaches Nathan just in time to watch Brooke's car skid around the corner at the end of their street. Deflated, she stares at the now empty street for a moment in despair, her hands going to her head, before she feels Lucas come to stand beside her.
But it was his younger brother that got her attention.
"Oh man, this is so not good." Nathan says running his hands through his hair before turning to them. "Haley is going to kill me."
Peyton crosses her arms over her chest and watches as Nathan takes out his cell phone and begins to pace the sidewalk.
What the hell just happened? She asked herself but there were no answers forthcoming. All she knew was that Brooke was gone and it was because of her. She closed her eyes as they stung with tears. What have I done?
"Don't." She commands shrugging off Luke's hand from her shoulder without looking at him.
"Peyton…"
"What Lucas? What can you possibly have to say that's going to make any of this better, huh?" She asks surly, but she didn't want to listen to anything he had to say so she cut him off.
"Just save it, okay, I think we've already done more than enough, don't you?." She says, and simply ignores him, turning back to Nathan.
"Baby no I didn't lose her! Well no… I don't know where she is right now…. But it wasn't my fault this time… I know what you said… Haley will you just listen to me… fine, I'll see you then." Nathan says before closing his phone and putting it back into his pocket.
"What did she say?" Peyton asks cautiously only to have Nathan glare at her.
"She'll be here soon, you might as well both get the rest of your clothes on before she gets here or would you like to put on another show for everyone else?" He responds, gesturing to the mass of faces watching them from the landing above, before leaving them standing there as he headed back up for the apartment with an angry shake of his head.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The atmosphere over the last fifteen minutes had been more than strained, the first thing Nathan had done was to kick everyone else out of the apartment. And due to his obvious anger no one had complained, most just quietly headed home without a word.
Skills was the only one brave enough to ask if there was anything he could do having witnessed Brooke leave upset, but had left when Nate assured him he'd call if he was needed.
Lucas had gotten dressed first while Peyton had grabbed her phone to try and contact Brooke but as it turned out her phone lay on the kitchen counter along with her bag.
The fact that they now knew they had no way of getting in contacted with the brunette only made things worse as the tension rose in the room. Nathan had taken to pacing before finally claiming a seat and fidgeting nervously. There was absolutely nothing he could think of that would make any of this better so instead he focused his attention on the two people he held responsible for the situation.
Lucas and Peyton.
He wanted to shout at both of them, ask them what on earth they had been thinking, but all he could do was glare at them and hope Haley would have some idea as to how to fix this mess.
Peyton, once fully dressed, had quietly staked out her spot in the room as far away from Lucas as possible, and discreetly wiped at her eyes as she tried not to think about how devastated Brooke had looked before running out of their room.
The three of them remained where they were in complete silence until sometime later the honk of a horn had them up out of their seats and headed outside where Haley was waiting for them.
"Right, so Brooke's gone?" Haley asks meeting them beside the jeep, a mix of annoyance and concern colouring her voice.
"What exactly happened?" She continues looking from one face to the next.
Nathan walks over to her trying to prevent the situation deteriorating into a blaming match. "Hales she just took off, and she was really upset so can we just go look for her?" He responds not wanting to have to go into detail about what had occurred to make Brooke leave the way she had.
"Why was she upset? What happened Nathan?" Haley demanded and then looked closer at Lucas and Peyton. The two of them had yet to offer anything to the conversation, and given that it was Peyton's best friend that had run off, she found that worrying. And they had so far also avoided making eye contact with her.
If an alarm bell wasn't already ringing in the back of her mind the fact they both looked as guilty as hell was all she needed to see to understand they were the reason Brooke was now missing.
And that made her angry, after all Brooke had been through with these two over the last two years, for them to be responsible for something else now was more than she could handle.
God, why is Brooke always the one getting kicked while she's down.
But just as she took a breath to demand answers, Peyton finally looked straight at her, and Haley felt some of her anger melt away, the blonde's eyes were red raw.
She sighed as the blonde dropped her gaze back to the ground and shifted nervously, if she was honest, she was more worried for Brooke right now than she was angry at Peyton or Lucas. But only just.
"Why did she leave?" She asked the pair softly this time, hoping to understand what was going on, and maybe then have some idea as to what Brooke would have done.
"Haley, this can wait. We really need to find Brooke, it's getting dark and it'll probably start raining soon as well." Nathan responds, as much as he'd enjoy watching his wife have a go at Lucas and Peyton, finding Brooke came first.
Haley glowered at the two of them a moment longer before turning to Nathan. "Okay you're right, explanations can wait... for now. And you two." She says turning back and pointing to Lucas and Peyton. "I get the feeling Brooke won't want both of you together if you find her so I suggest one of you go with each of us."
Peyton nodded, although in her opinion she was the last person Brooke would want to see. But no matter what happened she needed to make sure Brooke was safe so she moved over to stand next to her car, crossing her fingers that in doing so she wouldn't be going with Haley.
Luckily for her Nathan had followed her over and stood next to her. "I'll drive." He said holding out his hand for the keys. She blinked and glanced up at him, he didn't look as angry as she'd thought he would, and after a second she realised that she really wasn't in any condition to be driving anywhere.
"No," Lucas protested. "Peyton can go with me, we need to talk."
Haley glanced at Peyton who didn't seem as keen to talk as Lucas obviously was. "I think it can wait Luke, come on and get in."
Peyton gave Nate her keys before going around and getting in the other side of her car.
Lucas sighed and then reluctantly moved to the passenger side of Haley's jeep and got in. It was going to be a long night.
"Call if you find her." Haley shouted before closing her door and taking off down the street as Nathan and Peyton drove off headed in the opposite direction.
She glanced at Lucas after a few minutes of silence had passed. "So let's hear it."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nathan continued watching out for Brooke's car as he turned down the street that would take them towards the high school, it was a long shot that Brooke would head there, but it was worth a try.
I can't believe this is happening, last night Peyton was threatening me not to hurt Brooke and what does she go and do? He shook his head to clear his thoughts as he reached down to turn on the wind screen wipers, the rain was really starting to come down now.
The silence between them was starting to bother him, but he wasn't sure he could control his temper enough if he did start talking to Peyton. Luckily so far talking seemed to be the last thing on the blonde's mind as green eyes kept scanning her side for any signs of the brunette or her car.
He could see her leg moving up and down nervously, but he wasn't in any position to offer words of support, not when he was just as worried as she was over finding Brooke.
"There's no sign of her car here." Peyton said as Nate slowed the car down to get a good look at the parking lot next to the high school.
Taking a look himself he silently agreed and put his foot down to speed the car up again. "Where to now?"
Peyton swallowed, she had no idea where Brooke would go, all she knew was that she'd wanted to get as far away from her as possible. She wouldn't go to the bridge, she knows I'd check there... but where else would she be?
Nathan kept his eyes on the road hoping to see any kind of movement, but there just didn't seem to be any other cars out on the road in this weather.
"We could try the bridge?" Peyton suggested quietly.
Nathan frowned and turned to her briefly. "You really think there's a chance she's under the bridge... it's pouring down outside."
Racking her memories for any other idea, she just couldn't think of anywhere specific the brunette would have gone to. Brooke could literally be anywhere, even out of Tree Hill by now if she'd just kept on driving.
"Got a better suggestion?" She asked sharply, suddenly worried that they wouldn't find Brooke no matter where they searched tonight.
"No. I don't. I don't have a fucking clue where she is Peyton, is that what you want to hear?" He asked her bitterly.
He swallowed as he slowed the car down again, he didn't know which direction to turn the car as he came to the end of the block. He hated that one of his best friends was out here somewhere and he didn't have the slightest inkling as to where she would go when she was upset.
He'd have thought she'd go home, but as that was where she'd run from that was out of the equation, she could have headed over to his place, but he doubted she had gone there. Haley would have passed her, and even if they'd somehow missed each other his mom was still at home.
"Which way?" He asked Peyton.
Peyton shifted in her seat, she had just as little idea as to where to go as Nathan did.
"Left, I guess... we could start at the far end of town and just..."
"Street by street?"
"Yeah."
He sighed, it wasn't a great idea, but it was better than nothing. He turned the car onto the street and headed further into town. "You're her best friend Peyton, shouldn't you like, know where she'd go?" He asked her, keeping his eyes on the road.
"Some friend." She muttered to herself as she crossed her arms over her chest. They hadn't really been friends in a long time, but before all that had happened, one of the few places Brooke would have ran to was her house, even if she wasn't there at the time, Brooke always knew she was welcome there.
But that was the one place in Tree Hill that was guaranteed to never see Brooke Davis step foot into it again.
She just didn't know where else Brooke would consider a safe place to go.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, you and Peyton are in the wrong here?" Asked Haley, who couldn't quite believe what she had just been told.
"How is what we did wrong Hales?" Lucas asked fed up with being made to feel like the bad guy in all of this. Both Peyton and Nathan had barely spoken to him since Brooke had run off, now Haley was giving him a hard time.
"Oh, gee, let me think! Having sex with your girlfriend when Brooke was in the next room might just be pushing the boundaries of sensitivity in my book, don't you think?" She demanded as her eyes continued to search the streets in front of her for any sign of Brooke's car.
Lucas shifted uncomfortably at that. "It wasn't like we did it on purpose, we just got carried away and before we knew it Brooke was standing in the doorway." He explained with a sigh as he rubbed his hand across his forehead.
"I finally get to spend some time alone with Peyton and then…"
"And then what Lucas?" She cut in as he trailed off, but the disappointment in his voice gave her an idea of where he had been going so she finished the sentence for him. "Brooke had to come along and mess it up!"
"That wasn't what I meant Haley." He began, feeling that nothing had been going right for him lately as he slouched down back into his seat.
"Dammit Lucas, when are you going to grow the hell up!" Haley demands slamming her hand down on the steering wheel, she hated when he whined. All he was thinking about right now was himself when somewhere out there in the storm Brooke was all alone and upset.
"Haley what do you want from me? I'm sorry about what happened to Brooke, I really am, but she's going to be okay. The police think they've got a good idea where Ian is, so Brooke and Peyton are relatively safe now… am I supposed to keep my life on hold forever?" He asked as he turned in his seat to look at her.
Haley didn't want to risk talking and driving with the storm as bad as it was so she kept silent and looked for somewhere she could park. It was only after she had stopped that she realised they'd driven all the way down to the river not far from the basketball court.
"Because you and Nathan seem to be moving on with your lives just fine, am I the only one that can't do that?" He asked as she undid her seatbelt to turn and face him.
"Of course not Luke, no one is saying that."
"Aren't you?" He volleyed back at her. "We graduate in two weeks Hales, two weeks! We all have plans for life after school Hales, maybe I just don't want to lose what little time I have left with Peyton." He said in a calmer tone.
"What are you… you're talking like it's three months from now and she's leaving for college already, she's isn't going anywhere Lucas." Haley replied with a quick shake of her head. And when did this become about Peyton when it's the fact you've been an insensitive jerk to Brooke that I have a problem with?
"You don't know that." He said softly as he turned and looked out the windscreen, not wanting his best friend to see that his eyes had watered.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" She asked but just as he turned and was about to respond, her cell started to ring.
It was Nathan.
"Have you found her?" She asked quickly, her heart racing as she waited for the answer.
She sighed, "Oh, no, we haven't had any luck either." She replied glancing to Lucas and shaking her head to let him know Brooke still hadn't been spotted.
"We're out by the river... yeah, no, I'm not sure where to look next either... okay, we'll see you then, bye love."
Haley looked at her cell phone for a minute before putting it away. She'd gotten her hopes up that Brooke had been found, but now... she felt like crying. Her son kicked and knowing he was reacting to her emotions she rubbed circles slowly on her stomach in an effort to calm both of them.
We'll find her soon buddy. She thought, closing her eyes and hoping that wherever Brooke had disappeared to that she was warm and safe.
A touch on her arm caused her to look over at Lucas but then she noticed his gaze was locked on something outside.
"Is that?" He asked in a hopeful whisper, not looking away.
Frowning, Haley followed his eye line and squinted as she found herself looking at a car that could have been Brooke's, but it was on the other side of the river and the rain lashing down made it difficult to be certain.
Maybe. She thought but didn't want to get either of their hopes up just yet.
"What do you think?" Lucas asked, finally turning to Haley.
"Worth a shot." Haley said unable to prevent the beginnings of a smile to grace her features. Putting the jeep into gear she doubled back the way they had just came before slowing down to take a side road that would lead them up to and over the bridge.
It was too dark to be able to see across the river well enough to make out the parked car they had spotted but Haley desperately hoped their search was about to come to an end.
"Should I call Peyton and Nate and have them meet us over there?"
"No." Haley said quickly, she may not have been there at the time but she had little doubt that the less people around Brooke right now the better the brunette would feel.
"Let's just wait and see if it's her before calling anyone okay?" She cautioned him gently.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Peyton could tell from Nathan's lack of reaction that Haley and Lucas hadn't been able to find the brunette either.
"No luck?" She asked as he closed his phone.
"Nah, but they're over on the other side of town so we'll work our way to them... maybe we'll find her first." He said starting the car again and moving off.
Peyton turned her gaze back out the window looking for Brooke car. As long as someone finds her.
Nathan waited a few minutes before speaking again. "Feel like explaining what that was all about back at the apartment?"
Peyton shrugged, "Not really." She replied.
"What, so you're not even going to deny that Brooke walked in on you and Lucas?"
"Well, if you know what it looked like, what exactly are you asking me to explain Nate?" Peyton asked sharply. The last thing she needed right now was to go over this with Nathan, she'd have enough trouble explaining her side of it to Brooke.
If she ever got the chance to.
She sighed and continued to search the dimly light streets for any sign of Brooke's car.
"It looked like you and Luke were too busy enjoying yourselves to think about what Brooke has just been through... or didn't either of you care at the time." He said with a slightly disgusted look on his face.
She turned towards him unwilling to just ignore his attitude. "I made a mistake Nathan, I know that, and I'll do whatever I can to make it up to her... But don't sit there and act like you've never screwed up with Haley before, because we both know that ain't true."
She watched his jaw clench, but she refused to apologise to him, she couldn't feel much worse than the way she was feeling right now. Nathan had no right trying to take the higher ground with her, and she wasn't going to let him.
"I messed up Nate, but can we just concentrate on finding Brooke right now?" She asked pleadingly.
"Fine." He nodded, suddenly more than willing to let the subject drop.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Haley pulled up a few car lengths from the car then had spotted, her heart was pounding, it was Brooke's car.
She licked at her bottom lip and turned to Lucas. "That is her car right? I'm not just imagining it am I?"
Luke was busy scanning the deserted parking lot. "Yeah, it's her car but it looked empty to me." He said.
Haley blinked, that couldn't be true. The was very little on this side of the river, just a few restaurants and a gas station before you hit the freeway that would take you out of Tree Hill and deeper into the mainland of North Carolina.
There was no where Brooke could have gone somewhere, there wasn't even a cheap motel near here.
"Give me a second to go and check." She said hoping that Lucas had been wrong and he just hadn't spotted Brooke because of the heavily falling rain.
Lucas reached for her arm as she made to open her door causing Haley to turn questioning eyes to him. "Why don't you let me go?"
She snorted. "Come on Luke, if she is in there do you really think she wants you knocking on her window?"
"Maybe not," He conceded, "But I'd feel better if I went and you stayed in here."
"Well, this isn't about making you feel better Lucas... remember?" She replied before getting out of the jeep without giving him any chance to reply.
The drop in temperature was the first thing that hit her, next was the driving rain that lashed at her body. "Argh." She moaned as she clutched her heavy jacket more securely around her and moved as quickly as she could towards Brooke's car.
She was relieved that the side door opened as she tried it then entered quickly, wiping at her face to clear the rain out of her eyes. It was only then that she realised the doors hadn't been locked.
Uh oh.
With a hand covering her mouth she turned her head to the side, confirming what she already knew, the drivers seat was empty. Swallowing past the lump in her throat she let her gaze travel towards the back seats.
She gasped as she studied a shadowy figure.
There sat curled up in the far corner staring out the window was Brooke Davis.
As the sound resonated inside the car Haley watched a very despondent Brooke turn miserable, pain filled eyes towards her. Even in that simple movement caused Haley finch in sympathy.
"Oh, Brooke." Haley cried out. She had no idea what condition she'd expected to find her friend in, all she had concentrated on was the need to find her, but the broken, defeated girl sitting in front of her eyes right now wasn't it.
And it didn't even look as if the brunette had cried yet.
But Haley did. Then slowly she reached across the distance and laid her hand across Brooke's, giving it a squeeze in silent support. She was somewhat hopeful of the situation when the gesture was returned.
But with hands clasped Haley couldn't bring herself to break the silence, not when Brooke returned her gaze out the window next to her again.
This wasn't the time to offer platitudes, or false hope that things would look better in the morning. Brooke had lived through too much to believe in such clichés anymore.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Nathan frowned as they turned down yet another empty looking street.
"This isn't working Peyton." He said.
She glared at him. "What other choice do we have, Nate? Should we just head back and wait for Brooke to get in touch tomorrow?" She asked.
She wasn't feeling any of the effects of the alcohol she'd consumed and hadn't been from the moment she turned to find Brooke standing in the doorway of their room almost an hour ago. She was sure all of them were a little tired, it was close to midnight, but the thought of Brooke driving around out here somewhere when she was upset kept her focused.
She had no intention of going back to the apartment until Brooke had been found. No matter how long that took.
"That's... hold on." He said as he heard his cell ring and pulled the car over. "It's Haley." He informed Peyton as he glanced at the screen before answering the call.
"Did you.... oh, thank god." He said at the news and turned to the blonde. "They found her and she's fine." He said before concentrating on what his wife was telling him.
Peyton released the breath she'd been holding when Nate phone had started to ring. She sank down into her seat, feeling all her energy just drain away, leaving her shaking with relief.
They found her, they found her... thank you.
"No that's fine, I'll see you then." Nathan continued before closing his phone and sharing a quick smile with the blonde beside him. "They found her." He repeated, his smile widening.
"And she's okay?" Peyton asked, biting at her thumb nail nervously, as he started the car moving again.
He shrugged. "As okay as you'd expect given the circumstances."
"So, how long will it take for them to get back?"
He shot her a look but remained silent.
She waited for his reply but then her face fell as realisation struck. "She's not coming home tonight, is she?" She got out in an anguished whisper. What had she been thinking, there was no way Brooke would want to be anywhere near her right now, if ever again.
"C'mon Peyton, can you really blame her?" Nathan asked with a scowl, then he saw how upset the blonde was, he sighed. "Give her tonight Peyton, just let her... deal with all of this on her own for a while. Then maybe tomorrow you guys can talk, okay?"
"Yeah." She replied, willing herself not to break down and cry, not here, not now. That could wait until later, when she was alone.
She shivered at that thought.
And as much as she hated being alone, she deserved it in this instance.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
"I'll call you in the morning okay?" Nathan said to Peyton as Lucas pulled up in front of them and got out of the jeep.
She hugged him but couldn't force herself to reply.
She tried not to feel jealous as she watched Nathan drive off into the distance, tried not to think about the fact that, in a very short space of time, he'd not only get to see Brooke, but hold her and comfort her.
She tried.
But she couldn't help but hate the situation she now found herself in the middle of. And she had no clear idea as to how to get herself out of this mess she'd created.
"Hey." Lucas said as she edged over to her. "So we found her, that's good, right?"
"Yeah," She answered him in a very sarcastic tone, "Everything's just perfect now." She continued wiping at her eyes.
"Peyton."
"How can we still be doing this?" She asks, distraught not only with her actions, but at the idea that maybe this time Brooke wouldn't be able to forgive her.
How can I still be doing this?
"Even from the very beginning all we've ever done… was hurt her." She continued, pushing her hand through her hair.
"Peyton, we never set out to hurt her. It wasn't like we knew she was going to walk in on us." Lucas replies. "You can't control who you fall in love with, Peyton. And I'm sorry that Brooke's upset right now... but I'm not sorry about us." He continued defiantly, reaching out to grasp her hand in his, this was it for him and he needed her to believe that, believe in his love for her.
Yes, he'd been caught up in the idea of Brooke Davis for a while, but his eyes had eventually opened to the blonde that stood in front of him right now.
It had been Peyton that had first caught his attention, Peyton that had intrigued him to the point of infatuation. So much so that even after he started dating Brooke he couldn't give up on the blonde completely, instead he'd hoarded the little glimpses she shared with him whenever they managed to spend time together.
Those glimpses into her world, into her dreams and hopes for the future, and just the little things that made her smile, had reeled him in completely, and he had barely even put up a fight. Because there hadn't been any contest, it had always been Peyton and always would be.
Unconvincingly he'd tried to bury his feelings for Peyton to try again with Brooke, but the blonde had never been far from his thoughts, and if he was entirely honest with himself, his heart had never been able to let her go either.
"I won't ever be sorry for loving you Peyton." He reiterated.
"I've been her best friend for over ten years, you don't do what we've done to friends… you just don't." She explained sadly, pulling her hand back as a tear rolled down her check.
Lucas sighed and gave her a helpless shrug of his shoulder. "Friendships come to an end all the time Peyton."
Peyton stared back at him in shock, not understanding how he could say something like that so nonchalantly. She wouldn't let this be the end for her and Brooke, no matter what she had to do to get the brunette to forgive her, she do it.
"So do relationships, Lucas," She said unemotionally as she looked at him closely.
Did he really think she would choose him over Brooke so easily again? She'd made her choice earlier that night, but it had come too late to prevent hurting Brooke all over again.
She tilted her head as she tried to find the part of her that had once belonged to him, a part of her that had needed him, wanted him. More than anyone else, even Brooke.
It didn't bring her any comfort to realise that it just didn't seem to be there anymore.
The damage had already been done.
And she had no one to blame but herself.
"Consider it over between us." She continued in the same calm tone before turning her back on him and making her way up the stairs towards the apartment, steadfastly ignoring him as he called after her.
"Peyton, you don't mean that."
"Peyton!"
She reached down with a shaking hand as she opened the door and closed it firmly behind her. Only then did she let her emotions get the better of her as she slid down to the floor and broke down.
She didn't cry over ending her relationship with Lucas, she cried because she may have made that decision too late to have any hope of still having Brooke in her life.
She buried her face into her hands as she cried.
"I can't lose her, I can't..."
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
AN/ Okay so here's a first; there wasn't any single part of this chapter that I enjoyed writing.
Don't get me wrong I'm happy with how it turned out, but I hated doing it... I mean c'mon depressing or what?
But on the up side, this is most likely the worst chapter of the story, so aren't we glad it's outta the way now? ;)
Now,
Umm,
How do I say this?
I'm kinda... going on...
Holiday?
Like... in a couple of days...
Sorry?
Because that's right, you've guessed it, there will be no kiss in January! (probably, unless I write like mad this weekend)
So...
Tune back in sometime in February when things will get, uh, better.
Thanks for still reading, I know some of you are getting frustrated with the lack of Breyton but if you just hang on a little longer... it could still happen, you never know.
:P
Geez, how much do you guys hate right now? Sigh.
Next time!