2022 Wilma: Yeah so uh I completely scrapped the old chapter that was here, didn't even edit it, just straight up yeeted it into the void and wrote up this one instead. And I think the story is better for it.

Angeline sat reverently in a church pew gazing at the altar, the first light of day beginning to shine through the stained glass. She had once found solace in holy places, but she did not find herself comforted now. She closed her eyes, her arms pillowing her head on the pew in front of her in exhaustion as tears slid down her cheeks.

As soon as she'd stepped inside the church she had been unable to stop crying. Startled, the priest had let her come in, asking no questions and only watching as she sat in the first row of pews and began to pray. Angeline had remained there until now, the morning sun slowly appearing, the priest never far off should she need him.

Angeline's eyes opened slowly and she shifted, sitting back in the pew and tilting her head to look toward the ceiling. She had been asking to speak with God all night, yet He was nowhere to be found. Angeline had never asked much of her higher powers. She grew up wanting for nothing and had very few problems, so she seldom prayed for help or guidance. She knew there were people who needed God's attention far more than she did, so she simply prayed her devotion and faith.

She spent hours praying for forgiveness when she sat in the pew, begging His understanding that she did not know what she had done until it was too late. God knew the reason for everyone's actions, surely he knew she was scared and blindsided. But now that she needed guidance most, prayed for it and begged until the sun came up, she found she felt no inkling of Him speaking to her. She never had.

"Child,"

Angeline jumped at the sound of the priest's voice. She looked at him to see him sitting next to her, expression concerned and startled at her reaction. "Forgive me, Father. I scare easily lately."

"What ails you?" The priest asked. "You are very distressed and have not stopped crying since you arrived."

Angeline took a deep breath in, a useless attempt to ground herself in the chaos of her life. "My whole life I've tried to be worthy, Father," she began, "So why does it feel like I'm being punished?"

"God works in mysterious ways," he answered. Angeline had to stop herself from scoffing. She had heard the expression many times before and it had never seemed to aid in helping her become closer to God. "He sends us trials not to punish us, but to help us, so that we might learn from them."

Angeline's eyes filled with tears again, the saltwater pouring down her face freely. "Forgive me, Father," she choked out. "But I cannot seem to find faith in the sentiment. My family was murdered, I doubt that is a trial to learn from, but rather punishment for something I've done."

The priest was silent, his shock apparent. Had he ever met someone in such dire circumstances? Had he ever had such a challenge to help someone maintain their faith?

"Have you anywhere to stay?" The priest asked. "Do you need sanctuary?"

"No," Angeline said quickly, then thought more carefully. She only had the manor and Sebastian to protect her until Ciel cast her out, but could she go back to that place? "Perhaps? I don't know," she continued, frustrated.

"Say the word," he said, "And it's done."

"Thank you, Father," she said.

There was a pause in the conversation before Angeline continued. "I have sinned," she confessed, "But unknowingly and not before everything was taken from me. My family, my life. I came here to repent for the sins I know I've committed, but I find myself unable to connect with God tonight. I do not know why He has chosen this path for me and I cannot reach Him so He might tell me."

There was a poignant silence in the large church as the priest considered Angeline's words. "We often know not what we do," he began, "But we can be forgiven nonetheless. Perhaps you do not know what sins you might have committed, but repentance is possible. Try ten Hail Marys and five Our Fathers to start."

Angeline watched as the priest scurried away. She had been alternating between Hail Mary and Our Father all night and nothing was happening. Had she not been face to face with angels and demons alike she would doubt God's very existence now.

She breathed another long breath and rested her head back against the pew. She had come here for repentance and hoped for answers too, but it was becoming clear she would not receive anything from this place.

Angeline heard the door at the entrance open and close and listened as gentle footsteps sounded down the aisle. The footsteps continued into the row behind her until they stopped to her right. She turned in her seat to look at the newcomer warily. It was Sebastian.

"Sebastian," She said. "I can't say I'm surprised you found me, but I am surprised you can come in here."

"You overheard my conversation with Bocchan yesterday," Sebastian said. It wasn't a question, just a confirmation of his suspicions. "This is a holy place, but God did not build it. Places like this make me uncomfortable, but I can enter where I please," he explained.

Angeline nodded along as he spoke. When he finished, they looked at each other, Sebastian patient while Angeline tried to collect her thoughts. When Angeline said nothing, Sebastian started. "You're not meant to leave the manor."

Angeline rolled her eyes. "Forgive me for trying to find some comfort after everything that's happened to me and finding out about you," she deadpanned.

"If I wanted to hurt you, I would have by now."

"I know," Angeline said. "I'm not afraid of you. That's the problem. I came here to sort myself- my life, my feelings about you..."

"...Me?" Sebastian asked, a teasing smile gracing his face. "And how, Angeline, would that be?"

She let out an exasperated breath. "I find myself feeling safe with you," she admitted, "And to enjoy your company. Considering what you are, surely that is a sin."

In lieu of an answer, Sebastian asked, "Have you? Found the comfort you seek here?"

There was a pause, Angeline looking at him as she considered her answer. All night spent crying and praying, desperately reaching out to God to feel nothing, and her thoughts were no less muddled than they were when she arrived. The priest had given her no answers, but now that she was speaking with Sebastian her head was clear.

"No," she admitted.

"Shall I bring you home, then?" Sebastian asked.

Angeline let out a humorless laugh. "What home?" She asked, but she stood anyway and met Sebastian in the aisle.

Sebastian handed Angeline a thick shawl, which she hadn't noticed he brought with him. She took it, grateful she wouldn't have to make the chilly walk without the extra layer a second time. She wrapped it around her shoulders, clutching it with one hand and when Sebastian offered her his arm she took it with her free one, then they walked alongside each other toward the exit.

"The feeling is mutual, by the way," Sebastian said. "Our chess games are my favorite part of the day. When you haven't fallen asleep and can join me, of course."

Angeline smiled her first genuine smile in days. They came upon the priest as they made their exit, Angeline letting a "Thank you, Father," slip from her lips as the priest warily watched the duo leave his church.

The two walked briskly toward the manor. Without the adrenaline pumping through her, the walk seemed much longer the second time. She shivered despite the shawl, her breath coming out in clouds against the wet, chilly morning air.

The sky was overcast, as London often was, and she noted the leaves on the trees that had gone from green to fiery reds and rusted oranges. It was late enough into the autumn that a blanket of penny-colored leaves smothered the grass, the smell of their decay filling Angeline's nose.

Sebastian was silent beside her, but the companionable quiet was most welcome. After battling all night with her roaring thoughts, Angeline was grateful for the space to listen to the wind whistling through the branches and waking birds, the occasional clopping of hooves and teetering of carriage wheels passing them by. She wasn't even paying attention to the direction they were walking, allowing Sebastian to guide her as she let her thoughts wander among her surroundings, trusting him to lead her to the estate.

"Do not ever pull a stunt like that again," Ciel barked in his study that afternoon.

When Angeline and Sebastian returned to the manor, Angeline had been so exhausted she could barely walk, most of her weight leaning against Sebastian for support as she focused on putting one foot in front of the other. He hadn't complained, allowing her to rest against him as he ushered her to the entrance of the manor.

As soon as they returned, Sebastian walked with her to her room and sat her on her bed. He took her shawl from around her shoulders, damp from the morning mist. Her eyes began to droop closed and she fell back onto the bed. "So tired," she muttered. Sebastian unlaced her boots, pulling them off her feet and leaving her to rest.

That is how she had woken, still in her dress and her legs hanging over the edge of the bed. When she emerged from her bedroom in hopes of a bath, she was immediately summoned to Ciel's study where she stood now as he berated her.

Angeline rolled her eyes as he fumed, annoyed that she was still taking orders from a child, but assured the young Earl that nothing of the sort would happen again.

Irritated, Ciel rested his head against his fingertips, his elbow on the surface of his desk. "Sebastian is to stay with you from now on, not only for your protection but to ensure you don't run off again. You are dismissed."

Angeline let herself out of the study and trekked back to the bathroom. She peeled off the layers of her dress, the fabric sticking to her skin, still wet from her sweat and the morning dew. She drew herself a bath, something she'd requested Sebastian teach her to do weeks ago as part of her attempts at learning independence, and scrubbed the previous day away.

When she returned to her room, Sebastian stood waiting.

"Good..." Angeline's greeting trailed off as she was unsure of what time it was.

"Good afternoon, Angeline," Sebastian said.

Angeline nodded to him and went to the armorium, pulling out a simple deep blue dress. "Please wait outside," she requested. Sebastian tilted his head down in a nod and exited the room.

Angeline dressed as quickly as she could. She was capable now of lacing her own clothes, but she was quite slow with the movement. She crossed the room to meet Sebastian outside and opened the door to find him on the other side, his knuckles poised to knock.

"Goodness!" Angeline exclaimed, startled at how close he was and halting suddenly to avoid crashing into him. Her gaze was level with his shoulders, her nose only inches from him and her eyes traveled up to meet his, his expression equally surprised as hers.

Several seconds passed as they looked at each other, Angeline fascinated as always with the scarlet hue of his irises, then Sebastian cleared his throat, coughing out an apology as Angeline stepped back.

"What are we doing today?" Angeline asked, starting a conversation in hopes of smoothing over the stumble.

"Pardon?" Sebastian asked.

"Your duties? I never got up to much before Ciel insisted on the constant watch, I don't mind helping you," Angeline clarified.

"Ciel insists that the house won't burn down if the others were left to take care of it, but I suppose things would run more smoothly if I were able to carry out a few tasks," Sebastian mused.

"Ciel already treats me like a child, the last thing I need is to know that you're being kept from your job doing..."

Angeline thought about what exactly it was that Ciel employed Sebastian for. She was sure now it went far beyond being his butler. "Whatever it is you do for the Earl," she finished.

"I suppose, but you don't have to help. You are a guest, not a servant."

"I'm a prisoner, not a guest," Angeline countered. "Please? I'd like to keep busy, really. I'm sure we have some long days ahead, we don't know when we'll be able to strike Ash."

Sebastian considered her words, his eyes calculating as he made his decision. "Very well," he said. "The entrance needs dusting, Ciel needs his afternoon tea, and dinner should be started. Do you cook?"

Angeline eyed Sebastian humorlessly. "You know I don't," she said.

"Then I suppose you will learn."

2022 Wilma: I don't know shit about religion but I wrote this anyway and just hoped that it doesn't show. ANYWAYS. Next time I'll be back with old but improved content and my 2014 counterpart. See ya!