2015 Wilma: I'm looking back at old chapters and it's interesting to see how I've grown as a writer since I started this story years ago. A lot of things about the old chapters really bug me because I used to be a problematic little shit and i want to fix it but thats also A LOT of editing.
2022 Wilma: Hey, look at us. Who would've thought? Not me!
Anyways, we did a thing. Please enjoy.
Weeks after Ash crashed the ball, Angeline was finally feeling like herself again. She woke without the feeling of dread and paranoia that overtook her upon seeing the angel rip through the party in search of her. She was still watched carefully by Sebastian, but she no longer stayed holed up in the manor feeling too scared to go anywhere.
Right now she was in the garden, training Pluto basic commands, which she had taken upon herself when she tried to take another walk only to be tackled down by him once again. It had snowed in London recently and Angeline's breath came out in clouds, her face flushed pink with the cold biting at her exposed skin. Her movements were stiff, her mobility impaired by the layers of shawls and coats Sebastian had insisted she wear.
As Angeline gestured toward the dog, Sebastian watched obediently from the sidelines, not moving a muscle but his eyes, which flicked with Angeline's movements.
"Pluto, sit," Angeline commanded, flicking her pointer finger down. Pluto plopped into the ground noisily, a dopey grin on his face as Angeline threw a slab of meat at him. "Down," she said, flicking again. Hesitantly he lowered and she threw him another treat. "Roll over," a swirling motion of her finger.
"You're going to waste tonight's dinner," Sebastian commented monotonously as she threw him more meat.
"If you want to catch him some treats, be my guest," she replied. "Pluto, shield."
In an instant Pluto had wrapped himself around Angeline, growling menacingly at a nonexistent threat. His fur warmed her from the cold outside and she took a moment to enjoy the more comfortable temperature. "Good boy!" she praised, scratching at his shoulder. She'd been terrified of the massive animal the first few times she saw him, but she'd grown to love him and feel safe when he used his huge form to hide her. "Release."
Pluto obediently stood, lumbering in front of Angeline and sitting again. She was about to grab another steak from her pile of treats when Sebastian appeared beside her, a dead bird nestled in his hands.
"Sebastian, that's disgusting!" She exclaimed, resisting the urge to gag.
Sebastian shrugged and threw the bird at Pluto, who swallowed it whole before looking at Angeline with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. "Well, if you're so insistent on feeding him something fresh, like birds, could you please put all of the meat away?" She requested.
She didn't like treating Sebastian as the help, as she considered him to be more of a friend and companion when there was no immediate threat to her. However, she noticed that Sebastian was able to perform tasks much more quickly and efficiently than her and preferred to do them himself to save time.
Sebastian bowed slightly and she gave him a pointed look. He shrugged and began clearing the garden, which was almost complete in a matter of minutes while Angeline stood beside Pluto, scratching at his fur. The dog whined, bending down to nudge at Angeline. "Oh stop, you big oaf," she scolded. "We're done for today."
A whine was heard and suddenly Angeline was not scratching at Pluto's shoulder anymore but at his head- and not his canine head, his human head. "Pluto!" She exclaimed, holding her head in her hands. Big furry dog Pluto she could handle and love. Smaller naked human Pluto was an entirely different story.
"Angeline,"
"Yes?" Angeline started at Sebastian's voice, grateful for the distraction.
"Would you mind terribly to accompany me to the square? Our meat seems to have gone missing," he replied with a pointed stare.
"No one else was bothering to train him. Admit it, you all find life easier being able to tell him what to do." She quipped, but started down the path nonetheless.
It had been ages since Angeline left the grounds of Ciel's estate and she found herself enjoying the change of pace as the carriage made its way into the city. She closed her eyes, the sound of the creaking wheels sending images of Angeline and her sister riding into London to do Christmas shopping. When her sister was old enough, their parents sent them off every year- just the two of them and a purse of coin.
Christmas was not far off now and Angeline found herself often closing her eyes like this, imagining that she would be with her family on Christmas morning. The nostalgia and images of her family she procured were a brief respite from her reality, but every time she opened her eyes her chest would hollow as her gaze focused on the manor she currently resided in, a lasting reminder that she would be spending this Christmas and every other after alone.
The carriage stopped and Angeline opened her eyes, the imagery of her family's green-lined carriage melting away into Ciel's blue one. She sighed and collected herself before Sebastian came around to open the door for her.
Sebastian helped her out of the carriage and offered Angeline his arm. She took it with a smile and they started down the path. With his winter coat replacing the tailcoat he wore as his butler uniform, Sebastian looked to be off duty. To anyone passing by, he wouldn't look like a butler at all. Idly, Angeline's thoughts wandered to how they might look walking down the street together. Did they look like a couple with their ring fingers covered by gloves? Did passersby assume they were out looking for Christmas gifts for their children?
Why are you thinking about this, Angeline? She thought. The idea of her and Sebastian courting was absurd. Angeline hadn't let her mind wander to romantic notions before the earthquake, her life had been planned for her so there had been no need for such musings.
As the pair walked toward the market, they came upon a familiar face and blond curls. Angeline's grip on Sebastian's arm tightened and his eyes turned toward her inquisitively. Lancaster cast a look at Angeline, his expression surprised. "Angeline," he greeted.
"Lancaster," she replied stiffly, nodding her head toward him. Lancaster eyed Sebastian thoughtfully before his gazed flicked between the two of them.
"Lancaster," He said to Sebastian, inclining his head in greeting as he introduced himself.
Sebastian gave a smooth smile, returning the gesture. "Sebastian," he said.
"How are you, Angeline?" Lancaster asked, trying to focus on her face but she noticed his eyes slide toward her hand on Sebastian's arm more than once.
"Well," Angeline said. "How are you? And your family?"
"Well," Lancaster replied. "They saw you at the Harvest Ball. You seemed against it, but I asked father if you might stay with us-"
"Lancaster," Angeline sighed, refraining from turning it into a groan.
"Yes, I know. You were right," Lancaster continued. "I'm sorry. I wish there was more I could have done- could do- for you. Father's decision was absolute."
"It's what I expected," Angeline said curtly, her throat closing up as her eyes burned. She knew this would happen, which is why she didn't want Lancaster to try in the first place. His father's rejection made her prediction real; as she suspected, she was reacting poorly. He was just trying to help, she thought. "Thank you for trying."
Lancaster nodded solemnly. "I wish you the best, Angeline."
"And you," she said.
Lancaster gave a small nod and skirted around Angeline and Sebastian. As they continued walking, Angeline swiped under her eyes at the tears that threatened to spill onto her cheeks.
The walk was quiet until Sebastian spoke, his voice cutting through the silence. "I feel as though I missed something," he said as they made their way to the shops.
"I don't want to talk about it," Angeline sighed. Sebastian nodded. He knew that Lancaster had to be part of her life before the earthquake and though his curiosity was strong he knew how much she struggled with thoughts of her life before the Phantomhive manor.
Angeline gazed into the windows of shops as they walked past, all dressed for the upcoming holiday. "Does Ciel celebrate Christmas?" She asked.
"At Lizzie's insistence, yes," Sebastian answered. "She loves Christmas and he likes making her happy. The Earl is not very festive himself."
Angeline hummed thoughtfully. She considered finding a gift for the Earl and his betrothed, Ciel for all he had done for her and Lizzie because Angeline simply liked the girl, but she hadn't the funds or any idea of what she would get them.
Angeline trailed behind Sebastian as he shopped. As promised, he replenished the meat supply Angeline had used to train Pluto before he began to shop for the upcoming holiday.
"The Earl might not care much for Christmas," Sebastian said as they perused a line of vendors selling seasonal foods, "But he loves the meal. It seems he allowed himself to still enjoy that even after what happened to his family."
Angeline nodded as Sebastian spoke. She knew Ciel's parents died in a fire, but knowing now the existence of angels and demons she wondered if there had been something sinister afoot when the house went up in flames.
"It's Lizzie's favorite holiday as well," Sebastian continued. "She likely loves it because she knows it's the one time in the year she can count on for the Earl to be happy."
She watched as he continued browsing, stopping occasionally to buy an ingredient. "Will you teach me to make a Christmas dinner?" She asked.
"Of course," Sebastian replied.
"It was one of my favorite holidays, too," Angeline said.
The pair passed an alley. Angeline looked down to see a small black cat sniffing the edges, likely looking for abandoned food. The mangy little thing was skinny, its coat uneven and matted. Clearly a poorly fed stray.
She couldn't do much for her hosts this Christmas, but perhaps taking care of a cat would make Sebastian happy.
When she caught up to the butler, he was looking between two colored ribbons. "Green," Angeline said. "It matches Lizzie's eyes, she'd be delighted the Earl put in the thought."
Sebastian looked at Angeline thoughtfully then nodded, purchasing the green ribbon.
The pair moved forward and Angeline stopped near a group of carolers, listening to the songs she'd grown up with.
"My sister and I would come into town every year," Angeline said to Sebastian. "It was the only time our parents allowed us out by ourselves, normally they came with us. We always stopped to listen to the carols. She was good at arithmetic so she would set aside some coin for the singers while we were in the carriage."
Sebastian listened intently. Angeline never talked about her life before, so he hung onto every word. "Does being here without her sadden you?" He asked.
Angeline shrugged. "Yes, it does, but the memories make me happy. I suppose it is bittersweet."
Angeline regarded the carolers a few moments more before dropping Sebastian's arm and moving on, walking in the direction that they had been before they stopped. Sebastian fished through his coat pocket and dropped a few coins into the hat that had been placed before the characters. Angeline had no funds to continue the tradition she upheld with her sister, but Sebastian did and he would help Angeline honor the family she'd lost.
When Sebastian caught up to Angeline she had gone still, her eyes wide. Sebastian's head swiveled to assess their surroundings. Was Ash nearby? He couldn't fathom how Angeline would have seen the angel while he completely missed it.
When no visual threat appeared to Sebastian he focused instead on his other senses. His hearing picked up on the conversation of a man and woman near enough that, with some effort, they could be heard by Angeline's human ears.
"What do you suppose she'll do after she's stayed her welcome with the Phantomhive boy?" The woman asked. "I'm sure his hospitality is limited."
Sebastian's gaze cast sideways to look at the pair. The man shrugged. "She's nothing without her family or their wealth. She has no skills, she would barely know how to be a wife, especially one without servants and she surely can't marry into that kind of wealth."
"The poor girl is going to be on the streets," The woman said.
"She's a very pretty thing, I am sure she could find a brothel."
"Clarence!"
Angeline whirled to the couple, eyes blazing. "How dare you?" She demanded. The couple paled when they realized she had listened to their conversation. "How dare you cast me aside and make these assumptions of me?"
The man, Clarence, sputtered. What he was attempting to say Sebastian hadn't the faintest idea, the man's words refusing to leave his mouth.
"Father? What happened?"
Angeline's fiery gaze landed on Lancaster, who approached the couple. These people are Lancaster's parents? Sebastian thought, his thoughts piecing together that they gossiped this way of their own niece.
"As though he doesn't know what I've been through and continues to sit by doing nothing," Angeline Spat, "My dear uncle thinks I'll become a common whore."
"Angeline!" Sebastian interrupted sternly, looking at her with furrowed brows. She let out a frustrated grunt, turning away from Lancaster's family and stalking past Sebastian. Before she could get far she felt a firm, almost painful grasp on her arm.
"What?" Angeline snapped, turning toward the Phantomhive butler.
"It's unbefitting of a lady to cause a scene in public," Sebastian said. "I'll not have you soiling the Phantomhive name, the Earl must show that he keeps good company and it's no secret he has been hospitable enough to let you stay with him," he continued with a pointed look at her uncle.
"Oh yes, his hospitality is truly overwhelming when I'm cooped up at the estate, unable to leave the grounds for anything other than boring shopping trips and stuffy balls!" Angeline exclaimed, irritated that Sebastian could question Angeline's behavior when he surely heard what Clarence had said about her.
"We've saved your life! Offered you protection! Don't be ungrateful to the Earl's good deeds to you!" Sebastian retaliated, leaning menacingly toward Angeline.
Angeline had to make a concentrated effort not to recoil from him. She had seen him like this, but never toward her. She wouldn't admit to him how much it scared her to see him leering over her this way. How much it hurt her to see the person she'd befriended turn on her like this, especially when he had protected her so.
"What would you know about good deeds, Sebastian?" She asked. "When in your life have you done anything for anyone but yourself?"
She forced herself to lean toward him, her glare inches from his. "You're literally the Devil's spawn, don't try to tell me anything about good deeds and don't tell me Ciel is acting out of the goodness of his heart rather than on the orders of his Queen."
The two were at a standstill, their angry faces just inches away from each other glaring daggers at their opponent. Angeline's heart raced from a concoction of fear, anger, and betrayal. An unfamiliar feeling tugged at her chest, weighing it down to her stomach.
Angeline was so tired of it all. She just wanted to go back to the way her life used to be. With her parents and her sister in their house out in the countryside. No more lustful angels pining after her or demon butlers muddling her thoughts. Tears pricked her eyes as she reminded herself she could never have that again, that her family was dead and Ash was still a threat.
"Are you really so unhappy with us?" Sebastian asked softly, almost a whisper.
Angeline dropped back onto her heels, averting her gaze to the ground. "This hasn't been easy for me, Sebastian. Being scared all the time, wondering what Ash wants to do with me when he finally does have me, not being able to do anything by myself. It makes me feel like a helpless child, it's so tiring."
"You're safe with us. You don't need to be scared when you have me here," Sebastian replied.
Angeline's heart fluttered and she tamped down the butterflies. "Then why do you look so angry with me? Like you want to hurt me?"
Sebastian recoiled at her words. "Angeline," he started.
She raised a hand to interrupt. "Don't," she said. Wordlessly, she made her way back to the carriage with Sebastian on her heels. He couldn't even bring himself to worry that they had accomplished nothing on this trip and that he would have to improvise a substitute tonight for the meat they'd meant to buy while they were out.
The carriage ride from London to the estate was silent. Though Angeline had grown used to- and even quite fond of- the companionable silence she and Sebastian had, this silence weighed heavily on her mind and her heart. He'd heard what Clarence said and not only did he neglect to come to her defense, he acted as though she had been in the wrong.
At the manor, Sebastian lounged on a chair as Angeline delved into books kept in the library, trying to find any answer she could to defeating Ash. After her breakdown with Sebastian, they had returned to the estate in a tense haze and Angeline immediately went to the library despite Sebastian's protests that he had to go to the kitchen first. Angeline knew technically Sebastian could make her do anything he wanted, but the question was how far could she go before he lost his patience? Would he truly hurt her like it seemed he would today?
"You won't find anything but rubbish in those books, humans simply can't comprehend what it's really like being a demon or angel," Sebastian sighed with a bored tone. "All of you puny creatures are really quite clueless regarding anything about the supernatural."
Angeline rolled her eyes, ignoring him. He continued anyway.
"Angels are obsessed with the idea of love. So much that they'll find a human they're attracted to and become completely infatuated with them, but they can never actually love someone," Sebastian explained. "Truly the only way you could possibly defeat Ash without me is if you got him to see that you don't love him. If you did that, his heart would literally break. It'd shatter to pieces. But angels are practically blind to everything but their own desires, it's impossible to give him such a realization."
Angeline sighed. "Do you plan on fighting him off for the rest of my life?" She asked. "Surely you must have thought of something."
"If I had thought of anything Ash would have disappeared and you would be free to roam around wherever you want."
"There has to be something," Angeline sighed.
"Of course there is, it just might take a long time to find it."
Angeline retired to bed early, foregoing her nightly chess match with Sebastian- which he knew he deserved. His heart weighed heavily in his chest that he was the reason she was unhappy.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you've caught feelings," Mey-Rin said later that night as she watched Sebastian work about the kitchen.
"Absurd," Sebastian commented.
"She's a pretty one. And you know, you look at her the way the Master looks at Lizzie sometimes."
"Exasperated and irritated?" Sebastian replied distractedly.
"No," the maid said, "Sometimes you look at her like she's the most amazing thing that's graced your presence. I've never seen you act this way before. Always thought you were stone cold, I did."
Sebastian sighed, stopping his scrubbing and tilting his gaze up as Mey-Rin left the kitchen. At least Ash had hope, he envied that. He knew that if he let himself fall for Angeline it would doom both her and himself. Blind infatuation was better than feeling the real thing but never being able to act on it, Sebastian was sure of it.
He already did it once. He couldn't do it to Angeline, too.
2015 Wilma: ALL THE DRAMA. Hey, I'm a theatre kid, can u blame me?
2022 Wilma: SHUT UP! WE GOT A NEW REVIEW!
Also God dammit, you were so close to being cool. Why are you like this?
onimiyuu, thank you for the review! I honestly thought I was uploading to the void and I'm happy to see someone is reading the rewrite. I hope the new version is to your liking and I look forward to showing you more new/improved content!
2015 Wilma: ANYWAY, until next time make sure u drink plenty of water and love urself a lot! That's all for now, as always please review and I love you all!