2022 Wilma: Originally, this chapter was published four years after we started writing this story

2016 Wilma: It's so hard to remember little me running around my middle school in raccoon eyeliner, writing fanfiction in class

2022 Wilma: We actually kind of adopted the raccoon eyeliner look again, but like, classier. Anyway, here's the edit!

It was the 6th century when he met Sophia. He had been serving her older sister, a noble's daughter in Greece and first in her family set to marry. Sophia found herself enjoying Sebastian's company whenever he wasn't waiting on her sister's hand and foot, though at the time he had been given a different name.

He had still been young, just learning what it meant to come from hell. He'd been a generally pleasant presence during this lifetime, not knowing what dangers it held for those around him.

Sophia liked to cook. She'd know exactly when she could find Sebastian in the kitchen and weasel her way into helping him. Most of their time spent together was when he was teaching her how to make her sister's favorite meals.

Over time, Sebastian had foolishly fallen in love with Sophia without knowing the consequences.

It had begun slowly, first when she stopped turning up in the kitchen, then when she began turning the other direction upon seeing him anywhere. Weeks passed like this, Sophia avoiding him at every turn and him growing more and more saddened as he watched her slip away. She said she loved him not even a month ago, what had changed?

It wasn't until he found a letter in her room telling him that she was sorry, she loved him, but she couldn't stand what he was making her become. To her, love wasn't worth becoming a monster.

Her body was found three days later at the bottom of a steep ravine, and before he brushed her eyelids closed, he could see the dulling red color swirling underneath.

Since then, Sebastian's heart had grown cold and he refrained from falling in love again- but now a certain Angeline Redthorne was starting to make it increasingly difficult. He mused with a tea tray in his hand as he watched her in the library, the door cracked just enough for him to see her. She lounged on a sofa reading a book. Out the window behind her it was snowing and the dress she'd chosen was thick and long sleeved to help her keep warm. The fireplace nearby roared with flame, the heat soaking into the room. Sebastian sighed, knocking on the library door to alert Angeline of his presence. She looked at him warily as he entered, her eyes narrowed.

Sebastian set the tray down on the table beside her seat, pouring water from the outrageously expensive teapot into its matching cup. She gave him a soft "thank you" as he straightened and perched on his own seat just a few feet away from her. His heart tugged at her words. Even when she was justifiably angry with him she showed him gratitude, showed that she noticed and cared about the work he did. He did not deserve this woman's friendship, her kindness, yet his treasonous heart he thought was dead was tugging him toward the very gentle girl his head desperately longed to protect. How could the opposite operations between his logic and his emotions want the same thing so badly? One wanted to distance from her and one wanted to be near her always, the warring thoughts all attempting to act to protect her.

He attempted rather unsuccessfully to shake these thoughts away. As he settled into his chair he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "I owe you an apology," he said.

"You do," Angeline replied, lifting the teacup from the tray to try it. She had never met someone with a more extensive tea collection than the Phantomhives and she enjoyed reaping the benefits.

"I'm sorry," he began, "About the way I handled the situation yesterday. I didn't intend to threaten you and you would've had every right to rip the man to shreds. It was wrong of me to react in such a way. Please forgive me- I won't let it happen again."

Angeline gave him a smile. "You're forgiven."

Relief washed over Sebastian and he returned her smile, settling into his seat. There wasn't much for Angeline to occupy herself with considering the weather, so he prepared himself for a day of keeping her company while she read. Whether she was aware that he stared at her he was unsure, but he couldn't stop himself from watching her stormy eyes scan the pages, glinting green when hit by the firelight. She often decided to keep her hair down when she was at the manor, electing not to put it into a complicated braided updo that was of a popular fashion. Sebastian had always thought she was beautiful and it worried him that thoughts of what happened to Sophia were invading his mind. Angeline had already been through so much, she didn't need him putting her in danger when he was meant to be her protector.

"Sebastian?" Angeline asked.

"Hm?" He answered, her prompting pulling him out of his thoughts of Sophia.

"Have you ever been in love?"

He gave her a strange look, wondering if she had somehow learned to read his thoughts, before looking at the cover of the book she was reading. A romance novel. "You must be getting to the good part of that book."

"Stop," Angeline said with a smile, rolling her eyes. "A girl can dream, especially one who has nothing. So?"

"A long time ago, yes," Sebastian replied.

Angeline stared at him blankly, unsure as to what constituted as a long time for him. "What happened?" She asked.

A lump caught in the back of his throat and he swallowed it down. It had been a long time since he'd thought of Sophia, it was too painful. They were not so painful now, since meeting Angeline, but they were marred with a new feeling that unsettled Sebastian- worry. Worry for Angeline. "She died," He answered.

He looked at her, unsurprised at the shock on her face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," Angeline replied, dropping her forehead down with a smack on her open book.

"Humans are mortal. It was unavoidable." Sebastian lied, forcing the words around the pain in his throat. "What about you?"

Angeline closed her book, setting it down beside her and gazing at the roaring fire, the reflection of the fire casting green flames in her eyes. "I haven't been in love," she began. "Before the earthquake I was betrothed to my cousin Lancaster. Since I lost everything, including my family's fortune, the deal is off and he'll marry someone else."

With some effort, Sebastian hid his surprise. He had guessed that Angeline and Lancaster were acquainted well from their run-ins at the harvest ball and in town, but he had no idea they'd been engaged. Lancaster had fought for her only for his family to cast her aside- worse than that, his father had abandoned her with the assumption she would have to find a brothel to occupy.

Angeline continued speaking, unaware of Sebastian's racing thoughts. "I knew him well. I didn't love him, but I know I could have learned to. We were friends. He's smart and charming and handsome, but some things just aren't meant to be."

Sebastian could tell Angeline was still grieving for everything she had lost. He had seen the sadness and conflict on her face when she talked about her family. She had Lancaster to grieve, too- still very much alive but no longer hers. At twenty-two, she had likely been beginning to plan their wedding when the earthquake hit. It couldn't have been easy, seeing your entire life thrown away right before your eyes. Human emotions were a strange thing.

Angeline continued to stare into the fire. The orange blaze lapped at the kindling, embers dancing on their wooden stage to the music of the crackling provided by the flame. She sipped at her tea, her finger running over the rim of the cup absentmindedly as she stared into the warm glow of the fireplace.

"What am I going to do?" Angeline asked eventually, as if she knew what he was thinking. "Eventually all this angel nonsense will be over and Ciel will have done his job. Where will I go? I have nothing."

Not only did she have nothing, but as soon as this was all over, she'd lose Sebastian too.

"I suppose you could find someone," Sebastian began. "Someone of your choosing rather than your family's, someone you love from the beginning rather than learning to. Get married, have a family. You're a beautiful girl, and smart at that. You'd have no trouble with it."

Red crept onto Angeline's cheeks at the compliment. "I suppose," She sighed, though she knew it would be hard to find a suitor without anything to offer aside from herself. She could do that for the right person- offer herself wholly and devotedly, but she found herself not wanting to leave the Phantomhive estate. She liked it here, especially since she'd won the entire staff over with her calming and pleasant demeanor. As the days got colder and her time was spent in the manor the garden too cold to walk through, she began teaching Bard how to be patient in the kitchen, Mey-Rin how to balance plates and other dishware in her hands, and Finny to be more gentle with the plants in the greenhouse. The estate was thriving with her help, and even Ciel had stated his gratitude and appreciation over breakfast once.

It had been months since she'd seen Ash and she found herself less paranoid, finally able to sleep soundly through the night. Sebastian stayed on the lookout at all times, each day passing worrying him more. The longer they went without seeing the angel, the more danger Angeline was in.

The snow outside ceased and the clouds began to part, cold sunlight filtering through the windows onto Angeline. She hummed happily at the welcome winter sunshine. Sebastian had observed that whenever the sun found her, Angeline's spirits lifted even in the middle of winter. She was often saddened each day she was stuck, bored and restless, inside the manor, which she referred to as a "stuffy mansion."

Christmas was in two days and Sebastian was hoping the holiday would lift her mood. He knew she had nostalgia for the festivities and she would surely enjoy the company of the manor's staff and Lizzie, who would be visiting with her family for the holiday.

He allowed her time in the patch of sunlight to read, however it was reaching evening and the sun would dip behind the horizon soon.

"I'm sorry to tell you I need to go to the kitchen soon. It won't be long before Bard has burned whatever meal he tries to prepare for the master and need assistance."

"Alright," Angeline replied, closing her book without bothering to mark the page- she knew she wouldn't come back to it tomorrow. Reading of love wasn't doing well for her thoughts; she was too focused on Lancaster. Below the surface there were thoughts of Sebastian, which made her stomach turn. She had forgiven herself for befriending him- though she was unsure if God would be so understanding- but having feelings for him beyond friendship... That, she knew, she could not come back from. "What are we making tonight?" She asked, tamping down the butterflies within her that fluttered.

Since Angeline was under Sebastian's constant watch, she had started helping him in the kitchen. And while he enjoyed the company and the help, it reminded him of when he would cook with Sophia at times, briefly striking him with fear and sadness.

Sebastian informed Angeline that Ciel was not feeling well, so they would be making soup. Angeline never saw much of Ciel as it was, but she had noticed that it seemed she saw him even less than usual lately. He must have been spending his time resting in bed.

Angeline and Sebastian worked in tandem in the kitchen and she was delighted to notice how competent she had become. When she started helping Sebastian with the meals at the estate she had needed instruction for everything, slowing down the butler substantially. If he was frustrated at how slowly Angeline moved while he provided her instruction and feedback he never showed it, which Angeline was grateful for- though it didn't stop her from feeling self-conscious about her slow movements. She knew how much faster he worked without her and was sure he could do better things with the extra time he now allotted for preparing meals so she could help, but whenever she brought it up he insisted that he was perfectly content with their current arrangement.

When the pair finished cooking, most of it done by Angeline while Sebastian instructed her verbally, she ladled the soup into a bowl and handed it off to Sebastian, who then took it to Ciel who was resting in bed. While he was away, she served herself her own serving of soup, bringing it to the dining room and sitting in one of the many chairs around it.

It was mouthwatering. Sebastian had told her what to do, but she couldn't help the pride she felt knowing that she had carried it out on her own.

She had only eaten a few bites when she realized she wasn't hungry and the smell of her food was beginning to make her queasy. She shrugged the feeling off, standing and bringing her dish back to the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian asked when she returned with her full dish.

"Not hungry," She replied with a shrug as he followed her out of the kitchen.

Maybe she was catching whatever Ciel had. She'd be fine after some rest, she figured, and decided not to worry Sebastian with an unimportant bout of illness.

"Shall we play chess?" She asked.

Sebastian bowed his head in agreement, tilting it toward the lounge where they usually played. He followed her into the lounge where they set up their chess board. Angeline played white as always.

Like cooking, Angeline had gotten much better at chess. She still wasn't good enough to beat Sebastian, but she was able to hold her own against him for much longer now which made for a much more exciting game. At first she had been frustrated that even with her practice she was unable to win a game, but after she found out that Sebastian's abilities were far beyond the scope of hers when it came to everything she switched her goal from beating him to getting a draw. She had come close a couple times, it wouldn't be long.

Sometimes Angeline and Sebastian would play two games, but by the end of their first her eyes were growing heavy. She excused herself to bed when they finished their game and Sebastian nodded, bidding her goodnight as he began putting away the board while she went to her room.

In her bedroom, Angeline cursed herself for letting Mey-Rin put her in a complicated lace dress that morning. She had been able to dress and undress by herself for the most part, but it was hard to reach the laces and clasps on the dress she wore now and she knew she wouldn't be able to get ready for bed without assistance.

"Sebastian?" She called. The door opened immediately, the butler's keen ears missing nothing. She looked up at him and swallowed thickly. He had abandoned his waistcoat and vest, leaving him in his white dress shirt and trousers. He had rolled the sleeves of his shirt up past his elbows for more comfort. Something about seeing him in such casual attire flared Angeline's interest, her stomach dropping before butterflies ripped through her system.

"Yes?" He asked when she gave him no order after her call.

"I can't get the dress off," She complained. "Will you help me?"

"Of course."

Then he was unlacing the complicated bodice of her dress, the thick material falling off to reveal her underclothes. She sighed in relief as the constricting fabric was released and turned to him. "Thank you," She said.

He nodded stiffly and his hand lifted. It hovered in between them and Angeline could see the hesitation on his face. What is he doing?

The question was answered when his fingers brushed down the side of her beck and down her collarbones. Her body came alive at the touch, her heart thrumming in response, her eyes wide with surprise. The quiet of the manor in the night was drowned out by the roaring in her ears. Her breath left her body as his palm rested above her beating heart and his head bowed, a tortured sound releasing from him.

With some effort, she mustered her voice. "Sebastian?" She asked.

His head picked up to look at the ceiling- contemplative, torn. Her heart was beating rapidly against his hand. She was so human, so alive. She was everything he wasn't and better off with other humans, those like her, yet he couldn't seem to keep his distance. What are you doing, Sebastian? He thought.

"Angeline..." Sebastian muttered.

Angeline's voice caught in her throat. She swallowed down the knot that had formed there before clearing her throat and choking out a "Yes?"

"I'm about to make a terrible mistake."

"What do you-"

Angeline was unable to finish her sentence, as the butler had lifted his hand to brush his fingers along her jaw and the words ebbed out of her head before they could leave her lips. Her breathing quickened, the shallow puffs of her breath the only sound in the otherwise silent bedroom. He held her cheek in his hand, his fingers brushing through the hair by her ear. Her body responded before her head could and she leaned her face into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed. She heard him step closer, felt him shift her face toward his, and did nothing to stop him.

Then his lips were molding against hers, smooth against her slightly chapped skin. Her heart felt as though it would burst out of her chest, its wild beating pounding through her body. She lifted herself onto her toes, her arms draping over his shoulders. She'd read her fair share of romance, but none of it could have prepared her for the elated freeing of her soul when Sebastian kissed her.

Sebastian's hands settled on her waist as she leaned into him, gripping her with a crushing tightness. "Ouch," she muttered, disconnecting from him with a frown and opening her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he gasped, his brows furrowed with worry. His eyes darkened and the tortured expression returned to his face, as if he hated that he so easily forgot about his strength and feared hurting her by mistake.

She shook her head, reaching around him to weave her fingers into his hair and guide his mouth back to hers. His grip on her waist remained firm but painless as he pulled her closer to him, her chest against his so he could feel the erratic beating of her heart, reminding him again of how human she was and that he was the one making her react this way; he was the one causing her heart to quicken, her breathing to shallow, and her body to become soft and pliant against his.

She pulled away from him again and Sebastian watched her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks before she opened her eyes, her stormy green gaze piercing into his. "You're right," She said, but made no move to further the distance between them. "That was a mistake."

Sebastian started to nod and opened his mouth to agree, but before he could get a word out her lips were on his again.

They were both damned for eternity.

2022 Wilma: WHEW! This one took a hot minute to edit, not gonna lie, and that first kiss has been improved exponentially if I do say so myself!

2016: New reviews! New reviews!

2022 Wilma: Oh good, more friends! It seriously was starting to get lonely around here.

Thegreysnark: Seriously! Honestly, on second thought he didn't grovel enough. Maybe Angeline shouldn't have been so forgiving lol.

James Birdsong: Thank you! They are certainly an improvement from the original chapters- those were rough.

2022 Wilma: Well, We are glad to see that the fic is gaining traction again! See you all next time for a little Christmas special!