2020 Wilma: Surprise bitches, bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. It has been *checks notes* four years since I've updated.
2022 Wilma: I love that you took four years to write their first kiss then immediately fucked off for another four years. Chaos Queen.
2020 Wilma: Anyway, let's try to get this sucker finished before we hit the ten year mark since publication, yeah?
2022 Wilma: LOL. The ten year mark was November 2022. Oops.
Something was very, very wrong.
Angeline blinked up at the ceiling upon waking, sunlight streaming through her window. She couldn't quite place what seemed so unusual about her, but it certainly wasn't a good feeling. A bit sick, a bit painful all over, but for the most part she just felt off. Slowly, Angeline hauled herself out of bed and put on a dressing gown, not bothering to fully dress. She made her way to the kitchen, hoping a cup of tea would help settle her down.
"What do you think you're doing?" She heard Sebastian's inquisitive and disapproving voice behind her as she brewed the herbal tea.
"Making tea, what does it look like?" Angeline responded.
"You should be dressed, the Midfords will be here soon," Sebastian scolded. "I don't know where you got a dressing gown, but it's unbefitting of an unmarried woman to-
"I don't feel well, Sebastian," She interrupted, rubbing at her temples and having no patience for his orders on being a proper lady today. "I'll be back in my room once it's steeped, no worries about my decency necessary."
She breathed a quiet sigh, her eyes rolling with annoyance. One kiss and Sebastian suddenly found it indecent for her to wear the dressing gown as though she hadn't done the same plenty of times before. Typical of a man to feel such possession over a woman's state of undress.
"You're sick?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.
"No. I'm fine, just a bit under the weather- I'll rest. It would be nice if you weren't so rude first thing in the morning, especially after..."
The tension in the silence between Sebastian and Angeline was palpable. Would they talk about last night? Should they talk about last night? It was only a kiss, should it be any reason for things to be awkward between them?
"Alright," he said, pulling Angeline out of her thoughts. "Tell me if you get worse."
"Of course," She said, throwing away her tea leaves and bringing her cup to her room. She settled back in bed and sipped at the hot drink, cracking open a book and relaxing in the patch of sun streaming onto her bed through her window.
Sebastian kept her company whenever he wasn't needed somewhere else, the day proving to be very busy with the preparations to host Elizabeth and her family. Sebastian and Angeline talked as usual but the tension from the night before was prominent between them.
"Sebastian?" Angeline asked.
"Yes?"
"What was the name of the woman you fell in love with before?"
Sebastian sighed, looking at Angeline thoughtfully. "Sophia. It was long ago, the sixth century. I made a bargain with her father and was serving her family in Greece."
"How did she die?"
"Why the questions? Do you want to know what a kiss with a demon might've gotten you into?" Sebastian asked.
"Truthfully, yes," Angeline said. Butterflies erupted in her stomach at the thought of the kiss and at the nerves of talking about what it might mean for her. "You don't need to tell me. I just wanted to know."
"She threw herself into a ravine to keep herself from falling for me."
Angeline's eyes widened and she turned away from Sebastian, instead gazing out the window. "Well," She said after a moment's pause. "Who said anything about falling for you?"
There was another pause as Sebastian chose his words carefully. Angeline huffed in frustration. She much preferred when they were simply able to talk without any awkward silence between them.
"I am quite fond of you, Angeline, despite my best judgement and efforts against it."
Angeline snorted. "You really know how to talk to women."
"You needn't take it as an insult. Demons shouldn't, and don't, fall in love. The efforts have been for your sake." Sebastian continued. "While it pains me to hear you won't let yourself fall for me, and I don't know why it does, I know it's in your best interest. But please, if you do," His voice caught as a knot formed in his throat and he swallowed around it, "Don't throw yourself into a ravine."
"No promises," Angeline replied glumly.
"That's not funny."
Angeline continued, ignoring Sebastian. "Do you know why she didn't want to fall for you badly enough that she ended her life?" She asked.
"She was becoming something she didn't recognize. It scared her."
"Was she becoming like you?" Angeline asked.
Sebastian sighed again, his gaze lifting to the ceiling in thought. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her, but lying to her would only make things worse. "Yes."
"Well, if, in theory, I do begin to fall for you," Angeline looked back at Sebastian to see a panicked look on his face. "Which I'm not," She assured, "I would think it best to be like you. Being a human in your world seems impossible."
"It is," Sebastian confirmed. "I think Sophia's senses were clashing. Her human self was at war with the demon taking over, knowing that what she was becoming was wrong by human moral standards, and the human part had just enough power and will to bring her to the ravine that day."
Angeline scoffed bitterly. "Well, I haven't much to lose in this human life, do I?"
"Don't talk like that," Sebastian said. "I've told you before, you have every reason to think that you'll find a suitor-"
"But what about me? Outside of a suitor?" Angeline interrupted. "Before, I had my family. I had a sister and my parents. Now I have nothing aside from marriage prospects, and even then I can't give anyone my family's fortune or any kind of status. No one wants to marry a poor orphan girl who's parents died in an earthquake. And even if they did, is that all my life is worth? Giving someone the status of being married?"
"It seems as though you've already given up. That you think it's inevitable that you'll end up like Sophia. It was only a kiss, Angeline."
"It wasn't!" She snapped. She let out a forceful sigh and pulled her blankets over her shoulders, lying down and turning away from him. "I don't feel well. Please leave me."
Confused, Sebastian took leave. As he walked down the corridor, his thoughts raced as he tried to figure out what had happened. First Angeline said she wasn't going to fall for him, then their kiss last night wasn't just a kiss?
Women! Sebastian thought, frustrated.
It was rare that he threw himself into his work since Angeline joined them. Though he often used his orders to look after her as an excuse to neglect his duties, the simple truth was that he'd rather spend time with her than clean up after the boy. Now, though, he was frustrated that he seemed to make no progress with Angeline despite their efforts to speak candidly about their kiss and funneled his annoyance into his work.
The manor was spotless. Sebastian had always been one to give himself credit for his work and he was satisfied with how well he presented the estate, especially after the disarray it tended to fall into under the care of the other staff, incompetent when it came to servantry but excellent for protection.
Though the Earl was not fond of partaking in many of life's pleasures, Sebastian always decorated the manor for the holidays. Thought Ciel never asked for it, Sebastian could see that it made the boy and the other staff happy. Lizzie was also very fond of it and Sebastian, though often annoyed with her, had a soft spot for the boy's betrothed. Every year Lizzie visited for the holiday even if the Earl was not hosting her family that year. The festivity was a welcome respite for everyone from their everyday lives so Sebastian continued to quite literally deck the halls year after year.
It took hours of work and even with is heightened abilities Sebastian worried about the time. The Midfords would be at the manor in the evening and the afternoon was quickly wasting away. He didn't often stress, but unfamiliar relief washed over him as he hung the last holly leaves along the railing of the stairs and he realized he still had time to spare before the Midfords arrived.
It was only after he finished the manor's festive décor that he worried about Angeline again. She seemed upset with him but he hadn't the faintest clue of why, especially because he tried to speak with her about what their kiss last night meant. Not only was she upset, but evidently she was unwell this morning which was an even larger cause for him to worry. Illness often took the lives of humans, he knew, and too often he had seen a chill turn into something much worse.
Sebastian's thoughts of Angeline were interrupted when the front door of the manor flew open. Sebastian's body went rigid, spinning to face the intruder. Had Ash decided now to return for Angeline? His senses closed in so he could focus on detecting one thing at a time. His vision blurred as he spun, but his hearing was heightened to make up for it and his chest constricted at the sound- not Ash, but all the more unpleasant.
"Bassie!"
Angeline woke unsure of how much time had passed but feeling much better than she had in the morning. She sat up in bed, stretching fully and sighing in relief as her tight muscles loosened and relaxed.
She was glad to feel so improved; she was looking forward to the holiday, especially since she had been feeling so bleak lately. She was excited for any sort of respite she could have and she had no doubt that Christmas would provide a welcome distraction from her problems even if it was only for a few days.
Angeline's first order of business was to find Sebastian and apologize to him. She knew it was unfair to snap at him the way she had, especially when the situation was so complicated and he had just been repeating to her what she had said to him.
She dressed quickly, choosing a simple dress for the ease of getting into it. She liked that it was green- she found it to be quite festive. Maybe she would wear her red one tomorrow for the holiday.
She mused over what festivities the Earl might partake in as she wandered the halls of the estate when she heard Sebastian's muffled voice behind the door of a spare bedroom.
"You're so naughty, Bassie," a flirty voice sounded from inside. "Hurrying me into this bedroom for time alone with me. How dirty!"
"Shut up," Sebastian snapped. "Why are you here, Grell?"
"I came to check on you!" The stranger's voice answered. "I haven't seen you in ages, how else was I to know whether you were unfaithful to me?"
Angeline had to stop herself from gasping. Sebastian was courting someone? Was he betrothed?
Angeline didn't understand the feeling as her heart sank to her stomach. Was it hurt? Betrayal? It felt so much stronger than anything she knew; even being cast out by Lancaster's family hadn't felt like this- like her heart was being ripped from her chest. She had to keep from crying out as her chest twisted with the ache of her sinking heart.
How could he do this? How could he kiss her the way he had knowing it would make her feel how she felt, consider the things she did- her life, her humanity? Her stomach roiled. Stupid girl, she thought. Of course he wouldn't care, why did you ever think he would?
The kiss had awakened something in her, made her question what it meant for her soul, for her life. Did she want him? If she hadn't discovered that he had a lover, would she have abandoned her human life to follow him into the dark?
Even if you might want him, you can't.
She shook her head, forcing herself to continue listening to the conversation. The door was left ajar, likely in Sebastian's haste to conceal his lover.
"Is there someone else?" The unfamiliar voice asked.
Angeline's heart quickened. Would Sebastian be truthful? Admit to what he had done? Or would he hide Angeline from them the way he had hid this stranger from her?
"I won't admit to being guilty of something when there is no guilt to be had," Sebastian snapped.
"There is someone else!" The voice cried dramatically, then someone stormed into the corridor. Their long red hair swayed around their face and hips as they sauntered down the hallway. They peered down at Angeline through the corner of their eyes as they passed, nose upturned haughtily, yellow irises shrinking as their pupil dilated to look at her.
Their lips twitched into a distasteful grimace, revealing a row of sharp teeth, and their eyebrows knit together. "Boring," They muttered as they looked Angeline up and down.
Angeline scoffed, her eyes furrowing in offense, but before she could retort they strutted down the hallway and out of the manor.
Sebastian followed them out and watched as they exited the corridor, the sound of the front door opening and slamming ringing through the house.
"I didn't know you fancied men," Angeline said. Perfect, Angeline. You've always had a way with words.
"Grell considers herself a woman, insists God made a mistake. Who am I to tell her otherwise?" Was Sebastian's reply. "However, Grell is delusional. They have always thought there's something between us, but I find reapers to be cumbersome."
"Reapers?" Angeline asked. She was just getting used to the idea of angels and demons in her midst and now she had to consider reapers, too?
Sebastian ignored her question. "I don't know what caused the idea that we're courting to get in their head, but I assure you, they have always been mistaken. Why do you ask?" Sebastian wondered, a teasing and knowing smile on his face as he looked at Angeline. "After all, you said you aren't falling for me. If I were courting someone, why would it be an issue?"
Angeline tried to formulate a response, surprised by his boldness. She stumbled over a few words before huffing with frustration, unable to piece together any words to speak to him.
The Midfords arrived in all their festive glory. Angeline was delighted for the added holiday cheer- she could tell Ciel enjoyed the holiday, but the Earl was too proud to admit it. The Midfords, however, unapologetically reveled in the festivities.
"You are just darling!" Elizabeth's mother said to Angeline when she introduced herself as Ciel's guest. "Lizzie has told me so much about you, she looks up to you so much!"
"I haven't seen you in so long, Angeline!" Elizabeth interrupted. "Are you well?"
"Yes, I'm well" Angeline said with a smile, accepting the hug Lizzie offered. "I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself to your family, I don't want to get in the way of the festivities you have planned with the Earl."
Though having company through the holiday would be nice, Angeline was just as happy to ask Sebastian to build a fire in the library so she could reread A Christmas Carol.
"Nonsense!" Lizzie's father said. "You should join us; we wouldn't be allowing Ciel to be a good host if we left you alone during Christmas."
"Oh, you must!" Lizzie added. "No one should be alone on Christmas!"
Tears sprung to Angeline's eyes and she blinked them away before the Midfords could notice. While Ciel had been ordered by the royal family to house her until England was rid of Ash, he had made her stay exceedingly comfortable when he could have easily housed her with the servants and require her to earn her keep. Then there was Lizzie- and evidently her family, too- who showed her immense kindness today. Perhaps it was because Christmas was the season of giving that they insisted on having her company, but she found herself grateful nonetheless to be included by her hosts in the holiday.
"Come, Angeline!" Lizzie exclaimed, taking her hand and leading her to a sitting room. "We're going to play snapdragon before dinner!"
2022 Wilma: Finally, a Grell introduction! Much better than the last one. They're kind of annoying (unpopular opinion, I know), I don't understand what my obsession with them was in 2013. On another note, I learn so much when I go through to improve this story. Like, Victorians did gift giving on Christmas eve instead of Christmas day and liked hot chocolate as much as I do. Yum :P