2022 Wilma: ...more bonus content because I'm a dumb puta and accidentally deleted a pivotal scene and it had to go somewhere. I tried to make it work, but I apologize if this chapter is all over the place, and that it's so short.
Angeline carefully plaited her hair in front of the mirror in her bedroom, pinning it in place atop her head. Sebastian had woken her not long ago, his demeanor distant and sentences short as he told her she must ready for breakfast and church with Ciel and the Midfords. The butler couldn't get out of the room- away from her- fast enough.
Ciel never went to church and certainly never expected Angeline to. As an orphaned thirteen-year-old, questions were not asked of him by the people of London regarding his apparent lack of faith or committment to the church. Angeline figured that deep down, no matter how Christian, they knew that if they had been through what the Earl had endured that they would lose their faith, too.
Though she disliked taking orders from the Earl, she knew it was to keep her safe. Aside from being required to listen to him in that regard, the two had fallen into a mutual respect for each other. Ciel understood that Angeline was her own person and despite the unfortunate circumstances that kept her locked away, she was free to do as she pleased within her parameters.
Showing respect for her host by attending church with him and his future in-laws was the least she could do. Besides, it was likely the whole estate (including the staff) would be attending the Christmas service, which would leave Angeline in the manor alone if she elected not to go. Clearly this was not an option.
She put on the red dress she had mused about yesterday, fussing with the many laces and ties. The dress was festive but more complicated than she liked, so she did what she could on her own before waiting for Paula to make her rounds to the women in the house to see if they needed help. She was grateful for the presence of the Midfords' employee; she wasn't sure if she could bear being around Sebastian right now with how coldly he was behaving toward her- especially with the way her body reacted when he was in close enough proximity to help her with her clothes.
Ciel rode with the Midfords in their carriage and the servants piled into another driven by Bard, which left Sebastian and Angeline in their own.
Through the ride into London's inner city Sebastian stared at Angeline and she let him, often locking eyes with him and letting herself stare cooly back at him. Normally she would be smitten with his attention but she was too angry to feel anything else. When she wasn't playing his own game by looking back at him, she was taking the time to enjoy the sights of the ride by looking out the carriage window.
Still, there was that voice in her head that couldn't help but wonder if he regretted his actions last night or if he simply regretted her. She hoped he felt awful for how he'd reacted and treated her, but she still did not know the capabilities of his demon heart- if he even had one. Could he feel regret? Shame? Could he even love her? She scoffed softly and shook her head. Though she knew it was wrong, knew that she should know better, she also knew that it would crush her if she continued to fall for him and he wasn't capable of reciprocation. These sinful thoughts of love, she thought to herself. You stupid, stupid girl.
Eventually the carriage arrived at the church- the same one she'd found herself seeking refuge in those months ago. She swallowed the thick knot that worked its way into her throat. She knew she could not be comfortable in this place. Not anymore. Her new lack of faith and her sinful heart would not allow her to settle for the service.
"Take it one minute at a time." Sebastian suggested.
"Pardon?" Angeline asked, forcing her features into an expression of boredom rather than surprise. She would not give Sebastian the satisfaction of a reaction when she hadn't expected him to speak to her.
"You do not pray or wear your cross anymore," Sebastian began. Angeline looked at the cross around her neck, which had been sitting on her bedside table since that fateful autumn day when Sebastian had retrieved her from this very church. She had only put it on today to blend in better at the service; so that she might not be approached. "I assume you have lost faith in your old god and being here is uncomfortable. Take it one minute at a time; just as I do when I must come here for the Christmas service every year."
Angeline stared at him, contemplating his words. Had he apologized for last night, she would thank him. However he showed no remorse and it would take more than a few helpful and eerily intuitive words to gain her forgiveness. She turned away from him without a word or acknowledgment, catching up with Ciel and the Midfords and following them inside. Sebastian followed closely behind, filing into the pew behind the Earl and his guests with the other staff.
Angeline could feel the butler staring at her through the service, no doubt letting the priest's words float over his head as he focused instead on her. Hasn't he anything better to do? She thought. There's only so much to look at when his only view is the back of my head.
By habit, Angeline repeated the prayers through the service, citing them as she had so devotedly before she left her old life behind. She observed Ciel, not looking directly at him but rather watching from the corner of her eye. He also said the necessary prayers to satiate the priest and the churchgoers, the words slipping from his mouth easily but his expressions bored and uninterested. Angeline was not surprised with all the Earl had been through that he appeared to have the same opinions of church as she.
As the Phantomhive entourage exited the church, Ciel bid the Midfords goodbye, the families going their separate ways for the holiday after the festivities of the night before. The group watched their carriage disappear among the throng of citygoers and Ciel turned to Sebastian. "Well, get on with the day then, take us to her."
An inquisitive sound escaped Angeline. Who were they going to see?
She followed the Earl and his butler among the crowd, fighting her urge to stop as they turned the corner into an alley. She had been brought up to avoid alleys where she could, but she knew logically that under Sebastian's watchful eye she would be fine. She wouldn't admit that to him, though- at least not now.
Angeline stopped short behind the butler as he halted, almost running straight into his back.
"Good afternoon," Ciel began from beside Sebastian, "Your majesty."
"Hello, Ciel," an unfamiliar feminine voice replied. Angeline stepped around Sebastian, lining herself up with the Earl and his butler, and made eye contact with Queen Victoria.
"Your majesty," Angeline said, bowing deeply to the monarch surrounded by guards.
"Angeline," the Queen greeted with a nod of her head. "I apologize to you all for our les than favorable meeting place, but I think we will be safe here from listening ears and from Ash."
"Of course, your majesty." Ciel said. "Besides, Angeline could use the fresh air."
Angeline shrugged. She wouldn't argue; she was sure being away from the manor after being inside for so long was good for her.
"What did you want to speak to us about?" Ciel asked.
The Queen's eyes narrowed. "It has been quite some time since you saw Ash, has it not?"
"Yes," Ciel admitted. "We fear that the longer we go without seeing him, the more likely his chances at success in abducting Angeline are."
The Queen nodded. "The only thing preventing Ash from burning London to the ground is his obsession with the girl. Once he has her, he will proceed with his Earthly cleanse. We must defeat him before he dooms the country."
Angeline couldn't help but notice that the issue here was not her safety; of course it wouldn't be- the Queen had a country to worry about- but... would Angeline be used as bait? Would they let Ash have her... or kill her... so that London might live?
"Will there be opportunities to lure him soon?" The Queen demanded. "Lately it seems as though you have been doing very much of nothing about this issue."
Angeline watched as Ciel bristled. Of course- he was nothing without his success as the Queen's Watchdog.
"Yes," Ciel nodded. "I will be attending a new year celebration soon. It would be the perfect opportunity to lure the angel."
Just a week from now, Angeline thought. She wasn't sure if what she felt was apprehension or relief that this would be over soon. She decided it must be both- relief that she would no longer live in fear, apprehension about what would happen next.
The Queen nodded. "Yes, good. The angel will think that the celebration will have your guard down and he will think there is less security there than there is at your manor." She said.
Ciel, the Queen, and Sebastian continued to speak of logistics. As far as Angeline was concerned, she just needed to do what she was told, go where she was told, when she was told.
"Speak of this to no one," the Queen said. "Not even amongst each other. As far as your household is concerned, you are simply celebrating the new year."
"Yes, your majesty." Ciel said with a bow.
"Now get home," the Queen said. "More time spent here is more time Angeline is outside the safety of the manor."
The entourage obeyed, piling back into their carriages and returning to the estate.
Later, as the Earl and Angeline dined together for Christmas dinner- much less elaborate but every bit as festive as their meal the night before- Ciel spoke. "You truly are of the Phantomhive estate now." He said.
Angeline's head snapped up to look at him with surprise. "What?"
"This estate is not devoted to London's god. Not when he has turned his back on all of us beyond repair." Ciel explained, cutting into his roast goose and continuing to speak as he chewed. Angeline looked toward Mey-Rin, who stood in the corner with a water jug and an oddly troubled and lucid expression on her face- a far cry from the bumbling maid she usually was. The red-haired woman gave a nod, agreeing with the Earl though he could not see her behind him.
"Someone is truly part of this place when they have had to sit through the Christmas service. It is excruciating to all of us." Ciel finished.
Was it so obvious that she was so uncomfortable during the service?
Angeline nodded thoughtfully. Though Ciel spoke to her as though she was part of this place- belonged here- surely she could not stay when Ash was defeated. She had nothing to offer the Earl like the other inhabitants of the manor.
Aside from that, if things kept up the way they were with Sebastian, she would not be able to stand one day more in this place than was needed of her.
Now she truly felt that she had no one to turn to- neither her old God nor the demon who so often occupied her thoughts, the demon she had left her very God for.