X

~ The Military Ball was only a week away and everyone was gushing over it. It was like being back in the Academy. There were couples everywhere! They were multiplying like rabbits. I was, however, looking forward to this year's ball. One reason was because I received a recent call from my old Academy friend, Jessica. She would be going this year with her new high-ranking boyfriend. I couldn't help but wonder how much older he was than her. Another reason, well, I had an actual date this year. I still couldn't believe I had asked Earl to the ball. Every time I thought about it I got nauseous with butterflies. I just hoped things would go smoothly. Military folk don't usually warm up to people who are non-military. I guess as long as I stay by his side all night, things should be fine. The real reason I was excited about this year was that I'm going to buy an actual ball gown! All the other years I would just wear something I already had in my closet, which didn't get all that fancy. I figured since I had an actual date this year, I could go all out, and I already had the perfect dress in mind. All I wanted to do now was ask Hawkeye to go with me to consult, and I wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Hey Abby!" I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard Havoc calling for me. I was outside, sitting on the lawn at Headquarters. It had been a long morning and I was hoping some fresh air would help clear the mind. Even Black Hayate had joined me and was snoozing away in the sun.

"Need something Havoc?"

"Well, it's about Emily." The sting from her name would lessen every time he brought her up. Lately it's been every chance he could once he was out of the office. I had a feeling he was hiding her from Mustang. Who could blame him, since Mustang stole his last girlfriend. "She, and I, were wondering if she could go dress shopping with you?

"Dress shopping?"

"Yah, she's really nervous about the ball. She has some questions about it and was hoping to get some girl time with you." Of course, he's taking her to the ball. I don't know why I thought differently.

"Um…well…sure. I guess." I really didn't want to spend any more time with her than needed, but I still felt bad. I had no reason to ostracize her, other than she was dating the man that I've had feelings for. She was a really sweet girl. Perfect for Havoc. Deep down I was happy for them, but…

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." I still felt the pain when he would smile at me. "When were you planning on going?"

"I was actually hopping to go today, but that's only if Hawkeye is available."

"Oh, Hawkeye's going?" He didn't sound too pleased with that information.

"I'm hoping. If she can't do it today then I'll just go tomorrow, whether she can make it or not. I'll be sure to keep you updated so you can tell Emily."

"That'd be great, thanks again." I was hoping that would've been the end of the conversation, but he didn't move. He just stood there, as if contemplating what to say next. "So, I hear you're going with Earl?"

"Huh?"

"To the ball…I heard you asked Earl?"

"Oh…yah." It was weird. I've can't remember a time before now that I felt awkward around Havoc.

"That's good…well I hope you have fun."

"Thanks." Just stop talking and walk away already!

"Well, I'll see you inside." I just nodded my head and watched him walk back up the stairs and into the building. I let out a long breath, as if I had been holding it in the whole time. Was this how it was going to be from now on between us? I can't even think what has changed, other than that I decided to let go of these feelings for him and move on. Was that all it was? Talk about pathetic.

"Well Hayate, I think we should be heading back in." I poked the pup's nose gently to wake him up. His tail instantly started wagging as his eyes slowly opened. "I'll make a deal with you." His head popped up as if he could actually understand what I was saying. "You help me get your master to come with me today, or tomorrow, and I'll buy you a treat." He barked a few times, which only made me smile. "I'll take that as a yes?" He barked again as we both made our way back into the building.

"Tonight?" I had just pulled Hawkeye to the side to ask her to go shopping with me tonight. Her expression was telling me she was going to say no.

"Please, Hawkeye? I can't do this by myself, I really need you! I'll even buy you dinner."

"Sure, I can go tonight, and you don't have to buy me dinner."

"Really?" Well, I wasn't expecting that. She was actually saying yes!

"Yes. I'm free tonight so I'm all yours." I had to contain myself and hug her. We were still at work, I still had to be professional. "Besides, I need to shop for a dress as well." I didn't even need to ask who her date was. She always went with Mustang. She always seemed more like a bodyguard than anything. Their relationship really was unusual. Now I need to go tell Havoc so he can inform Emily. "What time were you wanting to go?"

"I was hoping to go right after work, but I also need to figure out when Emily gets off."

"Emily?"

"Yah, she's Havoc girlfriend. Havoc asked if she could go with us." I probably could have sounded a little more enthused about it.

"I didn't know Havoc has a girlfriend." She was actually surprised. It only confirmed my theory of him hiding her from Mustang even more.

"I guess they started dating a few weeks ago."

"Sounds like fun. I could use a girl's night out." I couldn't help but stare when Hawkeye smiled. It was such a rare occasion.

"I'll let you know once I talk to Havoc."

"I'll be here." Hawkeye said right before I closed the office door. Hopefully Havoc was nearby.

It starting to get dark when Riza and I reach the boutique. We had enough time to go home and change into normal cloths while we waited for Emily to get off. She should be here any minute. We were at the boutique that was right next to the bar the guys and I always go to. The dress I've had my eyes on for a while was still being displayed in the window. It was even on sale! The saleswoman had placed the dress in my dressing room while I helped Riza find a dress.

"What style are you going for this year?"

"The same as last year, just maybe a different color." Her dress last year was a plain black dress. It was low cut and fit her like a glove. If I was a man, I would have been all over her. I was kinda disappointed that she wasn't going to try something different this year. Just then the bell to the front entrance jingled and in walked Emily. Her eyes found me right away.

"Hey Abby!" She greeted me with such enthusiasm.

"Hey Emily, glad you found this place alright."

"Oh, it was easy, considering it's right next to the bar." Her eyes found Riza next who was now standing next to me. "Hello, you must be Ms. Hawkeye?"

"Yes, you can call me Riza." They briefly shook hands.

"I'm Emily, Havoc's girlfriend." I gritted my teeth. I know she wasn't, but it was like she was rubbing it in.

"What kind of dress are you thinking of wearing, Emily?" I tried my best to sound pleasant.

"I'm not sure…" She started looking around at the dresses. "What kind of dress are you wanting?"

"Mine is already in a room. I'm just helping Riza out."

"I don't think I'm going to get my dress here." Riza said as she put yet another dress back on the rack. "Nothing's really catching my eye." She better not leave. "I'll observe and give you constructive criticism." She sat down on one of the lounge chairs facing the dressing rooms.

"Wow! This one is beautiful!" Emily was holding up a periwinkle version of my dress. I felt a twinge of annoyance come over me.

"Perfect. Ready to try it on?"

"Yes!" We both made our way into separate changing rooms. I quickly undressed from my regular cloths and slipped the dress right on.

"Hey, Riza? Could you come help me really quick?" I was going to need her to lace up the back of my dress. I held the dress in place as she entered the small room and started lacing me up tightly.

"When you're finished with Abby, Ms. Hawkeye, could you come help me?" Emily's voice came from the other side of my wall.

"I'll be right over." It took Riza a few minutes to get the tightness I wanted, but when she got it perfect she headed over to Emily. I hadn't looked in the mirror yet. I was a bit nervous. I had such high expectations for this dress. I was scarred it would look nothing like I had in my head.

"Oh, my goodness! It's perfect!" Emily was certainly pleased with her dress.

"You're right, that dress looks good on you." Riza was even getting excited.

"Abby? Is everything alright?" Emily's voice was right outside my curtain. It was now or never. I decided I wouldn't look unless I got positive feedback from Riza. I stepped out in the open for the world to judge me. Emily's face glowed with a smile as I walked out. Riza's reaction was more settle. Her eyes widened a bit and small smile crept on her face.

"It's perfect." Was all Riza said. Emily only nodded her head in agreement. Which meant now I had to look for myself. I turned around to look at myself in the mirror and was struck in awe. They were right. The dress was perfect. (Read CH.2 for dress description) It complimented my body beautifully. My favorite part were all the gems that made it sparkle. Emily was standing next to me in the mirror. Now that she was wearing her dress, I could tell it was a bit different from mine. Her dress had lace sleeves that fell off her soldiers and had a bit more gems. The periwinkle went perfectly with her features.

"Well, that was easy." I chuckled a bit.

"The way I like my shopping." Riza said as she stood up and gathered her things.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes, I need to get back to Hayate." She froze for a second when she saw the panic in my eyes. "What's that face for? I thought I was only needed for consult?" Yes, and to make sure Emily didn't turn up missing.

"It's nothing. You're right. We're finished here anyways, right?" I looked down to Emily. She was still looking in the mirror, swaying back and forth.

"You guys can go ahead. I need to wait for Jean. He's supposed to be meeting me here to see the dress!"

"What?" Why was I panicking? Didn't matter, I was in full panic mode. Whatever the reason was, I did not want him to see me like this. I felt vulnerable! I quickly hurried back into my changing room and snapped the curtain shut. I took in a deep breath and started to undress myself. To be honest, if I could manage to get out of here before he showed up in general would be wonderful. I really didn't want to stay behind and listen to him brag about how beautiful his girlfriend is. I wanted to hit my head on the wall when I started to imagine it. I stepped out of the changing room, fully clothed, and headed for the cashier who was eager to make a sale. Just when I had finished paying the store bell jingled again, welcoming the newcomer.

"Oh, Jean! Over here!" DAMN IT! So. Close. Havoc walked right past me by the register and walked over to Emily. I could feel Riza staring at me when my head went down. I refused to look the other way, at the happy couple.

"Oh wow! Look at you!" I could see Emily twirl her dress in my peripheral vision. "You are beautiful. Every man at the ball is going to be jealous of me." He was probably right. "Did you find your dress Abby?" I looked up at him sheepishly.

"Yah." I couldn't think to say more. I just wanted out. When was this pain going to go away? I just wanted to act normal again with him.

"Earl's gonna be the second luckiest man there."

"Thank you." Was that even supposed to be a compliment? I didn't care anymore. I grabbed Riza by the hand and started walking towards the door.

"See you tomorrow." I mumbled right before exiting. I was grateful Riza went along with being dragged. I didn't take her to be the kind of person who appreciates being pulled on. "Can…can you take me home?" I finally let go of her hand as she started walking toward her vehicle. I followed her and slid into the passenger seat.

"You alright?" Damn. I was hoping she wasn't going to say anything. If she didn't say anything, then she didn't suspect anything. The fact that she asked, only means she knows.

"I'm good."

"Good." End of conversation. Good. "Because it can never happen." …What? I looked at Riza as she started the car. She could see the confusion on my face. "I'll take it you were the only one the Colonel didn't talk to about this?" I just shook my head, slowly, in more confusion. "The day you joined our team, before you had entered the room, Mustang talked to the men. He explained that you were joining the team, what your skills and assets were." She paused a moment and put the car in drive. "Then, he informed the men that any emotional or sexual relationships with you was forbidden. If a relationship was developed, then one or both partners would be kicked off the team." WHAT!? I now stared at her in disbelief. I couldn't believe it!

"Wha-Why?" I almost shouted at her.

"Relationships always go one or two ways. You would either remain happy with one of them, get married, retire from the military, and start a family of your own somewhere, or…" Riza now turned on her headlights and started driving down the road, towards Mustang's. "You split up, and even that can go one or two ways. You can split clean. Still try to be friends, but things would be awkward for a while, or it ends horribly and you two can't work with each other, ever." I knew there was a point to this, I just wasn't able to process it. "The Colonel has goals, Abby. If any of his subordinates get in the way of that goal because they can't get along, or are unable to do their job correctly because of a relationship that may or may not last…" She hesitated, trying to choose her words correctly. "It would just be better to prevent it all together." I finally looked away, letting it all sink in. "I guess the Colonel thought he didn't have to worry about you falling for one of them." Riza chuckled to herself realizing how wrong Mustang was.

"Yah." So, any hope or chance I had, was all an illusion. "Are…are you going to tell Mustang?" The car came to a slow stop when we reached an intersection. My heart was racing with anticipation for Riza's answer.

"No." She drove forward once again, after checking there were no other cars coming. I felt both relief and shock. I thought she told Mustang everything. No exceptions.

"Thank you."

"Just don't make it hard for the Colonel. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I did understand. It only made it clearer that Havoc and I were never going to be. We never had a chance. Which meant I really needed to let go of these feelings I have for him.

The rest of the ride home Riza and I talked about some things at work that were needing some attention. We even talked about the ball for a while. She even got me to confess that I was bringing someone other than Fuery this year. Just another thing I was asking her to keep quiet from Mustang. Didn't need him going to investigate and scaring off Earl before I even have a chance with him.

"Good night, have a safe trip home." I said as I shut the passenger door. She waved me goodbye and started driving off. I shuffled my way to the front door and tried to keep my dress from hitting the ground. It was a bit harder than I thought it should. The door swung open hard as I pushed it with my foot. Hopefully Mustang wasn't sleeping. Granted it wasn't late, but I highly doubt he was getting any kind of sleep at the office. Hawkeye even said that she caught him sleeping at his desk earlier today. As I continued to shuffle into the house I tripped over Elisa's birthday present that I still haven't sent. Her birthday was a few days ago and I promised myself that I would send it on time this year. Oh well. I'll just give it to Hughes when he comes for the ball. Hopefully he would be going this year. I finally made it to the living room and draped the dress over the couch. It would probably stay there until morning. I turned around to head for the stairs when I saw something in the corner of my eye. My heart almost jumped out of my throat when I saw someone standing by the phone. I even almost screamed.

"Mustang…" My voice was breathy from fright. "I didn't think you'd be awake. Hawkeye was telling me-" I was cut short by my heart sinking when I saw his face. It held complete horror. "Mustang? What's wrong?" My voice was even a pitch higher. He didn't show this kind of expression even when he got the call from Nina. Which meant it was much worse. "Roy…you're scarring me. What's wrong? Who's on the phone?" He still didn't acknowledge me. Just continued to stare straight ahead with terror in his eyes. I finally grabbed the phone from him and brought it up to my ear, my hand was shaking. "Hello?" I could hear a woman crying. She muffled it when she heard me on the line. "Who is this?" And why are you crying?

"Abby?" My heart sank lower when I recognized the voice.

"Gracia? What's wrong? Did something happen to Elica?" Deep down I knew there wasn't anything wrong with Elica. As much as the Colonel thought her precious, she wouldn't bring this kind of reaction from Mustang.

"Oh Abby…is Roy still there? Is he alright?" She was trying to speak in between sobs. I glanced at Mustang who was now using the table as a crutch to keep him up. His whole body was shaking.

"He's here…but…I don't know how he's doing. What's going on?" My voice just kept getting higher and higher.

"When I told him, he just disappeared. I wasn't even sure if he was still on the phone, then I heard your voice and…." She started sobbing again. I knew then. Of course, I didn't know for sure, but I knew. I wanted to hang up the phone before it was too late. To stop me from hearing the truth. "Maes is dead!" She was able to yell out those few words before breaking down again. My eyes widened in fear. I was the one now, looking straight ahead, in horror. The phone I held slipped through my fingers as I too, fell to the ground. Tears viciously ran down my face as I began to process the unthinkable.

"No." Was all I could whisper. ~

END OF CHAPTER 10

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