XX
~ It was early Monday morning, with frost on the ground and a nip in the air as I walked down the sidewalk. I guess sweater weather was right around the corner. Of course, by the afternoon it will be too warm to wear anything more than a t-shirt. Which is just what I had on, with a good coat and jeans. If I just keep my pace where it is, it'll keep my blood flowing enough to keep myself warm. I was making my way to the Havoc's residence. It was a few good blocks from my rental home. When we all went shopping on Sunday, we ended up eating dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Havoc. That was when I had volunteered to escort Havoc-I mean, Jean, to his first doctor's appointment today. Everyone else was busy, and I guess no one felt comfortable with him going by himself. I had nothing better to do other than sleep in today, plus it would give us some time alone, since Vanessa had more than her share with him yesterday.
The woman wouldn't leave his side for one moment, practically doing everything for him. It was annoying. Just because he was in a wheelchair, didn't mean he couldn't take care of himself. At least that's how I see it. He's still Havoc-I mean Jean! Damn it, Abby! Get it together. Everyone thought it was weird that I kept calling him Havoc yesterday. It's too weird! He's always been Havoc. It'd be like calling Breda, Heymans. I couldn't help but cringe. Then again…we are "dating" now. I probably should get use to calling him by his first name. I would want him to do the same. My cheeks were feeling warm with the idea. Granted he's called me by my first name before…but maybe it would be different this time. I shook my head, freeing myself from the butterflies. Look at what this man is turning me into! A pathetic romantic. I use to make fun of women, specifically his ex-girlfriends, for things like this. I had finally reached Mr. and Mrs. Havoc's house, and knocked on the door a few times. I could faintly hear someone yell for me to come in. I did so and closed the door behind me, feeling the warmth of the house.
"Good morning." I called out, making sure they knew it was me who was here. I could hear someone in the kitchen. The smell of pancakes was in the air. Mrs. Havoc must be making breakfast. I'm sure she'll offer some for me.
"Good morning, Helen." Mr. Havoc came from the living room with a newspaper in his hand. His reading glasses were lowered on his nose.
"Good morning." I greeted him with a warm smile.
"Alan? Could you come here please?" Mrs. Havoc called from the kitchen. He slightly shook his head, with a loving smile.
"She's always trying to do more than what she needs. Jean's in his room, second door down, if you want to let him know you're here." He instructed as he walked past me and into the kitchen.
"Okay." My heart started to pound as I walked down the short distance to the room Mr. Havoc had directed me to. Remember, it's Jean! I reminded myself before I lightly knocked a couple times before opening the door.
"Jean," I had to stop myself from grinning like an idiot, "It's Helen…" When I peered in the room, any structured thought that I had was gone. There he was…on his bed…shirtless…and doing sit-ups! A pair of dumbbells were lying next to him on the bed. He had a good sweat going on. He had stopped in mid-crunch, with his hands still behind his head, when I had walked in. We were just starring at each other, with my cheeks getting warmer and warmer. I think I need to take this coat off. An amused, but rather sexy smile crept on his face.
"I'll be ready in a few minutes." There was a playfulness to his voice.
"Right." The word just barely made a sound coming out of my mouth. I closed the door, and stood in front of it, processing the sight that was before me. I can't believe he's still in such good shape. He's not what he used to be, of course, but damn!
"Is he still going at it?" Mrs. Havoc just about gave me a heart attack. I didn't even hear her coming up behind me. Jean must have gotten the quiet, ninja skills from her. She looked a bit frazzled, with what I assumed, pancake batter on her nose.
"Um…well, yes he's still sweating, I mean, he's just on the bed and…" Why am I rambling like I just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar?
"That boy, I swear." She walked past, without knocking, and entered the room, closing it behind her. I could hear her lecturing him about not wanting him to be late for his appointment. With a small smile, I walked back to the front door to wait for him.
"Helen, come join me for some breakfast. He's going to be a while." Mr. Havoc was calling me from the kitchen. I meekly entered, taking off my coat. There was already a plate set up for me. I happily cringed at the thought of eating all the food that was there. Eating so early in the morning never really settled on my stomach. I had grabbed a few granola bars for when I get hungry later, but I didn't want to let this food go to waste. "Help yourself to more. There's plenty." He offered as he set a cup of coffee in front of me. This man was trying to kill me.
"Oh, sorry Mr. Havoc, but I don't drink coffee." I politely declined the steaming mug of bathroom problems.
"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Alan?" He mumbled as he retreated the cup and took a sip from it.
"Sorry, I guess it's out of habit." I respected the man. Plus, he's father of the man I'm dating. Got to get the brownie points when I can!
"Sorry Helen, he's almost ready." Mrs. Havoc came back into the kitchen, even more distraught than before.
"Marie, sit down before you have a heart attack." Mr. Havoc strictly ordered. She did so as she took a good, long breath.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" I felt sorry for just sitting here, eating the overly delicious food.
"No, no. Thank you, Helen, but you're doing more than enough by taking Jean to his appointment." She said as she sat more straight in her chair, slowly dishing herself a plate.
"It's really no problem. I would be sleeping the morning away anyways." It was my first real day off in a while from both the bar and the shop. It would've been nice to sleep in a bit, but I think it'll be worth it in the end. "Are you sure you don't need any help today?"
"No, we'll be just fine today. Jean will slack off if you're there doing everything." I couldn't help but feel a bit of relief as Mr. Havoc declined my offer.
"I resent that." Jean rolled in, seeming offended, but still had a playfulness to him. "You ready, Helen?" He was all dressed and even had his coat on.
"Yes." I quickly stood up before Mrs. Havoc could lecture him about how I was the one waiting for him. "Thank you for the food. It was delicious." I complimented her as I put my coat back on, following Jean out the door. After shutting it, I buttoned the last three buttons on my coat and glanced where I thought Jean was going to be. Surprised took over when I saw that he was already making his way down the sidewalk, in the direction of the physician's office. "Hey, wait up!" I started to chase after him. He must be trying to catch up from the time that was lost, because man was he cruising. I slowed my pace down, to match his. As I matched it, I noticed that he had disappeared from my peripheral vision. I stopped and looked back to see that he was mumbling to himself while he fumbled in his pocket for something.
"Everything okay?" He looked up at me, still digging in his pocket.
"No…I might need to go back and-AHA!" A joyful grin spread over his face as he pulled out a lighter from his pocket. I just noticed the cigarette that was loosely in his other hand. "Never mind, we are good to go." His tone was rather playful. He sure seemed to be in a good mood. "Could you give me a push?" He asked as he brought the cigarette to his lips, lighting it. A spark of irritation jolted through me.
"Why should I do that?"
"It's okay. I don't mind being late." A smug smile lay on his face as he exhaled his first puff. Between Mustang and the Academy, I am now conditioned to cringe at the very thought of being late. With a small sigh and an unpleasant look, I walked behind his chair and started pushing. He took another puff and exhaled it, making me walk right into the already dissipating cloud. What I wouldn't give to whack him on the head right now. "Thanks, my mom won't let me have one of these in front of her. This is really the only chance I get." He said through another puff. If he knew it was me, I could tell him how it's good for him to cut back, but I'm only Helen right now. Then again, I don't see any reason why I couldn't tell him now. No one was around…My heart started to accelerate with the words hanging from my mouth. Mustang technically didn't give me permission to tell him. I guess the thought of going against his order has me more nervous than I care to give for. Maybe a part of it was also finally admitting to him that I've been me this whole time. God! This is such a weird predicament. "So how do you like it here?"
"Huh?" His voice snapped me out of my own thoughts.
"I was just thinking, we haven't really had a chance to talk."
"Oh…yah." Maybe it's because you won't tell a certain clingy ex-girlfriend to lay off! Hostility was running through my veins remembering yesterday's shopping trip.
"You seem pretty close to Adam and Lev?"
"Yah? Well, they did a pretty good job with making feel at home." When I first got here, I had a rough first week. It was my first time in a long time to truly be on my own. I was able get hired at the bar right away, and used what money Mustang had given me to pay my first month's rent. I had never worked a waitressing job before, and it showed. I guess the manager who had hired me was desperate enough to accept my lack of experience. She was even patient with me and all the mistakes I had made. I was about ready to quit when Levy jumped in and started to show me the ropes and hacks on how to make thing easier. Before long I got the job at the general store, and that's where I met Adam. The gem of Vanessa fell into my life when they invited me out one night.
"My mother adores you." This sudden information had my face warm in seconds. I could hear the smile on his face.
"Oh? What makes you say that?" There was a quiver in my voice from my heart quickening so sudden.
"She keeps telling me how wonderful you are. Oh!" He exclaimed like he remembered something. "She also says we would make a cute couple." I swear my heart was about to burst in my chest. Mrs. Havoc has great taste. I just laughed nervously, not knowing what to say to this. "I had to keep reminding her that I'm a taken man now." Now's the perfect time!
"Speaking of which…I've been wanting to ask you something, Havoc." He glanced over his shoulder, looking up at me with a small smirk. God, damn it! "I mean Jean! Sorry."
"What's your question?" I was amusing him.
"What's going on between you and Vanessa?" I might have sounded a bit curt there. Is it me or did his smirk get bigger? He looked ahead and took a long drag.
"Why do you ask?" He was really going to make me explain it?
"It's just…she seems to still have feelings for you, and you don't seem to want to tell her differently." I could see his shoulders slightly rise and fall. Was he laughing at me?
"I have told her."
"You have?" I doubt my excitement went unnoticed.
"I don't really like rejecting someone in public. Doing otherwise would be shameful on my part." He put the last bit of his cigarette out and dropped it in an empty water bottle, that was between his legs, with a few more butts in them. He's not wrong. A small knot formed in my throat. A part of me wanted to see him deny her. "Thanks for the push." He said as we both came to a halt. We had arrived at the office. I walked around him to hold the door open. He wheeled himself in with ease and greeted Jessica who was sitting behind her desk.
"Good morning Jean…and Helen." There was a slight aggression with her eyes when I walked in.
"Good morning." I said quietly. Jean just smiled at her politely. I was doing my best to ignore the tension in the room. What was her problem?
"I'll let the doctor know you're here." Her sweet smile was plastered back on her face as she talked to him. He just nodded as she walked to the back. I sat down in a chair that was by the window. The sun beaming in already felt good. Plus, it was good reading light. I pulled my book that I had just recently bought out of my purse.
"How long do you think you'll be?"
"Hmm…not sure? I would hope no longer than 20 minutes. I'm just getting established and a quick check up." I nodded and flipped my book open to start reading. I had found it under a pile of dust at the book store in this town. It was on healing alchemy, and ever since bringing Jean back to life the subject fascinated me. This book in general had a few interesting concepts. "Looks like a serious read." I brought my eyes up to him. He was motioning for me to show him my book. I gave him a small smile and lift the title of the book for him to read.
"This stuff has always fascinated me."
"Are you an alchemist?"
"I've experimented a few circles, but nothing serious." There was a hidden admiration in his eyes.
"Jean…" A nurse had stepped out with Vanessa, breaking the moment we were sharing. I watched him wheel back behind the door. He gave me a quick smile before disappearing with the nurse. I smiled back, but he didn't see. Vanessa walked back to her desk and sat down. She continued what she was typing on her typewriter, and I went back to my book.
Several minutes went by and it was getting harder and harder to concentrate on my book. I swear I could start to feel the hole Vanessa was trying to burn into my head. She was just sitting there, maliciously typing, and glaring at me. I only looked up once, and now I refuse to give her a second glance. I noted that the typing had stopped and I could hear her walk around her desk. She was standing in front of me now, waiting for me to look up. With a soft sigh, I put my bookmark back in my book, closing it and looked up at her with just my eyes.
"I don't know what you're trying to pull, but it's not going to work." Right to it then. Fine by me, saves time.
"I'm sorry?"
"Don't play stupid! I know you have your eyes on him." She's observant, I'll give her that. I guess this is a good sign telling me to play it down more with him. "I just wanted to tell you that you're wasting your time." I know she doesn't know who I really am, but what she was saying was really hitting a nerve.
"Vanessa, I honestly don't know what you're talking about?"
"I see the way you look at him. Trust me when I say that I know what desperation looks like. I've seen it plenty on other girl's faces." Desperation? I know she thinks I'm just sad, desperate Helen, but what she was saying was really starting to piss off Abby! "Consider this a friendly warning to back off."
"Have you forgotten that he has a girlfriend?" Oh…that felt weird saying. I was indirectly talking about myself.
"Please." She rolled her long-lashed eyes. "He won't even remember her name by the time I'm through with him."
"You're disgusting."
"Excuse me?" Well this wasn't going to be good, but with my blood boiling the way it was, rationality was tossed out the window. I stood up to get closer to her face.
"You want to talk about desperation? Look at you. You're clinging onto a man who's made it clear that he doesn't want you." I could tell each word I said was getting to her. "What does he have to do to get it through your head that you're the one with no chance? Stop embarrassing yourself and move on with your pathetic life-" She cut me off by briskly slapping me on the cheek. I was shocked that she did it. I think I might have stepped a bit out of line with that last part. It still felt good to finally get it off my chest. We both stood there now. Me with my hand on my cheek, determined to not back down, and her…she definitely wanted me dead right now. That look was very clear.
The front door jingled and in walked in a mother and her child. Vanessa immediately turned on her secretary smile and welcomed the newcomers, leaving me to myself once again. I sat back down on my chair and rubbed my cheek a few times. She got me good. Not wanting her to see that I was in pain, I opened my book back up and continued where I left off. A few more minutes went by before Jean came wheeling back out with the nurse.
"We'll see you next month, Jean."
"Sounds good, thanks again." I closed my book and put it back into my purse. I stood up and gave him a heartfelt smile. Subconsciously I looked over to Vanessa, who was giving me one nasty look. The sensation to stick my tongue out was tempting.
"How'd it go?" I held it in and kept my attention to Jean.
"I'm good to go. Just have to come in once a month to make sure things stay good."
"Alright. Ready to go then?"
"What happened to your face?" His question surprised me. Was I still red where Vanessa slapped me? I could easily tell him that she did it, but then I would have to explain why she did it.
"What do you mean?"
"Your cheek…it's red." He reached up and gently touched it. The touch of his fingers just barely grazing my cheek was heavenly. I closed my eyes and took in the sensation of it all. Vanessa could slap me a hundred times if it meant he would touch it. I slowly opened my eyes, still in bliss. There was something endearing to his expression. Vanessa couldn't seem to process what was going on between us. Her bewilderment snapped me out of it and I took a step back from him.
"I must have had it resting on my hand on it for too long." I demonstrated by placing my cheek on top of my closed hand, indicating the resting position. He didn't seem to believe me, but didn't press any further. We both headed towards the door, and I once again opened it for him.
"I'll see you Saturday, Vanessa." He confirmed before wheeling outside.
"Can't wait to-" I slammed the door shut, cutting her off in mid-sentence. Jean seemed concerned.
"What was that about?" Clearly irritated, I started walking back towards his house.
"What's going on Saturday?" I really didn't want to bring up what happened in the office.
"Oh yah, sorry. I was supposed to invite you to Adam and Lev's. They're putting a small dinner together and we're all just going to hang out."
"I'll be there." A gentle smile grew on my face, but deep down I was lit. It was now war between Vanessa and I, and no way in hell was I going to give her any more alone time with him.
"Hey…" He came to a stop again and I looked back behind me to see what he wanted. He held another cigarette up with an innocent smile. "Please?" He really had some nerve. I rolled my eyes and walked behind him again as he lit the cigarette.
"You know sooner or later I'm going to have to put my foot down?"
"Guess I'll just enjoy it while I can." He said as he exhaled through a smile. ~
END OF CHAPTER 20
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