XXII

~ A few months have passed since I came clean to Adam and Levy. We all went back to Jean's place, and I explained everything to them, with Mr. and Mrs. Havoc in the room. Once I broke the news, Mrs. Havoc couldn't look me in the eye. Jean said it was due to being embarrassed. She was trying to get him to break up with me, Abby, so he could start going out with…me, Helen. The fact that I was the same person didn't settle well with her. Not that I blame her…I'd be embarrassed myself. Everyone else took the news well. It was a lot for one night, but they seem to have grasped it. I told them to not bother calling me Abby, just stick with Helen. Vanessa no longer tags along with us, which makes things easier. We never had to worry about making up some excuse as to why I harshly kissed Jean like that. Although, I can tell she has many questions by the way she stares at me when I escort him to his appointments. Luckily, she never has the nerve to come over to ask those questions.

Havoc General has been busier than ever with the winter season leaving. I had to tell my manager at the restaurant to cut some of my shifts so I could pick up a few up at the store. She wasn't too happy about that, but was also glad that I wasn't just out right quitting on her. We've been getting more and more mysterious "packages" from Adam at the store. Each time I ask Jean about it he just tells me to not worry about it, he's got everything handled. I have taken note that the more my questions grow, the more he tends to sweat. Which of course raises the question, how legal is this thing he has going on with Adam? Not to mention that all the costumers who are purchasing these "packages" have this ex-military essence about them.

"Thanks for coming." I handed the gentleman with the very nice cheek scar his receipt with a smile. "And have a safe trip home." He gave me a subtle grin and left with his receipt in hand. All of his 'packages' where already loaded in the back of his truck. "Say Jean…" I saw his body tense in my peripheral vision. "What do you suppose a guy like that coming aaall the way from Pendleton, just to pick up a package from here? I mean, it's not like we sell anything exotic…do we?" Even with his back facing me, I could see the sweat starting to roll down his forehead. I started making my way to him, slowly. "And you know what else? Levy's been telling me that Adam has been taking quite a few overnight trips with a loaded truck, but when he comes back the truck is empty. Kinda weird, don't you think?"

"Yah, weird." My eye twitched from his response.

"Listen here, Havoc." I stepped in front of him so I could see his face. He looked up at me with a smirk that told me he knew he was in trouble. Anymore I only call him Havoc when I'm not happy with him, and boy, was that true now. "I don't know if you think I'm just oblivious or stupid…"

"Aren't they kinda the same thing?" He instantly regretted his words, pushing his lips together as if saying he won't speak another one. An innocent puppy like feature came to his eyes, hoping I won't lash out as much as I like to. I just keep my stern gaze on him before continuing.

"Something's going on. I don't know exactly what it is…but I know it's not legal." I bend down, placing my hands on his arm rest like I normally do when I'm wanting to kiss him. I bring my face just inches from his. His face hardens from the intimidation. "I can't help but feel like you've forgotten what I use to do for a living?" We were staring each other down, neither of us backing down. "I get things done. When given a job, I do whatever it means to close it. I consider this one of those jobs." He doesn't say anything, but the sly smirk says it all. "Bring it on."

"Hey Helen, I'm gonna need your help over here!" Mr. Havoc calls to me from the other side of the store. The phone by the register just started ringing as well. I stand back up, leaving him to answer the phone and to go see what Mr. Havoc was needing.

After helping Mr. Havoc, a costumer needed assistance ringing up the item they were wanting. As I approached the register, I could hear Jean wrapping up the call that he was still on.

"Alright Breda, I'll talk to you later." Breda? My heart leapt in my chest and without thinking, I ran the rest of the way to him, taking the phone out of his hands before it was too late.

"Breda?" You could hear the hopeful enthusiasm in my voice. There was a slight hesitation before I heard a click, indicating that there was no longer anyone on the other end. Disappointment consumed me almost instantly. I gently hung the phone up, just starring at it. I've been trying to reach someone a few weeks after I got here. Months have gone by with no contact, and my first opportunity slipped away from me. "What did he want?" His features softened, seeing the desperation in my eyes. I could see that he was trying to think of something clever to say, something to keep me from the truth. More secrets. "If you're just going to lie, you can forget just forget it." I walked behind the register, trying to remain calm on the outside.

The customer warily placed her items on the counter for me to ring up. I placed the few items she had in a bag and gave her, her change so she could leave. I knew he was waiting for her to go so he could continue the conversation but I didn't want to hear it. As soon as she turned to leave, I left the register and headed for the back. With all the business we've been getting, no one's had any time to really organize it. I could hear Jean's wheels rolling right behind me. I guess we were going to talk whether I liked it or not. Once he rolled in and closed the door, I made sure to keep my voice low and calm.

"I'm being serious Jean. I don't want to hear it…unless it's the truth." I started to sort out all the crates and goods that needed to go out on the shelves.

"You know I can't tell you…" The sadness in his voice did not match the anger in his eyes. I had asked him numerous times already why Mustang had sent me away. Why I was to stay hidden until I heard word from him, and him only. Jean would only give me the same answer. 'Orders.'

"Why the hell won't anyone answer their damn phones?" I was already starting to lose the calmness in my voice. "I just want to talk to them. See how things are going. I don't expect them to tell me anything. Fuery, Breda, Falman, even Hawkeye…" I've never had the spirit to try and call Mustang, for fear on how the conversation would end. "No one is ever home, no matter what hour I call at. It's not normal." My organizing is starting to turn into me just throwing things to a different pile. I could see it now. He wants to tell me. He's struggling.

"We were given strict orders…" I could see the truth slowly starting to rise out of him. I was no longer thinking, I just wanted my answers.

"Bullshit with your orders! I can understand the others for following them but you…" I stopped myself knowing I almost crossed the line but the hurt in his eyes confirmed that I still did.

"What about me?" I couldn't answer him. I didn't want to conflict that kind of pain. I should have just shut up like I normally do and just let it fester inside. "Now that I'm discharged, I don't have to follow any orders, right?" It was his turn to be angry. "Just because I can't get out of this chair and stand by my comrades, doesn't mean I still don't have my pride, Lovington." The fact he used my last name sent a cold shiver down my spine. "And the other reason why I will not tell you, is because I know you will run to 'save' him. We all know that you would do just about anything for him. Well news flash, he doesn't need saving. He never has and he never will. I'm so sick of this!" I don't think I've ever seen him this upset. "I'm sick of it always being him and I know you'll be just like the rest of them." Apparently, he has no problem with crossing the line. "He might not date you but I know he'll take you away from me, like he did with all the others." Tears started building up in my eyes, just like all the other pathetic times of not knowing what to do. "I won't tell you because I'm not going to give you to him." He was shouting now, no doubt that any customers out on the floor could hear him. Unable to stand any more of this, I quickly made my way to him, wrapping my arms around him. It was a bit awkward, considering how I had to stand with his chair. He finally stopped shouting and clung onto me as if I was going to leave at any moment.

"I'm sorry." I said through a sniffle, tears wetting my cheeks. "I won't leave you." He clung tighter by my words, bringing me in closer. If we weren't having such a somber moment, I would have accused him of trying to cop a feel considering his face was getting buried in my chest. "Please understand how frustrating this has been for me. Not knowing what is going on. Why Mustang left me behind, with no explanation why I had to disappear."

"He knew, just like the rest of us, if he told you, you never would have left." He was talking into my chest now. It almost made me smile.

"You realize by saying that it only makes my anxiety over the situation worse." He lifted his eyes to me, face still buried. He quickly dropped his hands behind my knees and pushed, making them give out so I had no choice but to sit on his lap. With both my legs on either side of him, it was a tight squeeze, but manageable. He was just staring at me, with such a serious look. I can feel my cheeks starting to heat up, no doubt that I'm blushing.

"You were in danger back at Central." He was very curt with his words, face still serious. My stomach dropped and I could feel a cold sweat make its way down my spine. Danger? "Obviously, I'm not going to get into the details, but it had to do with what happened that night." He didn't need to elaborate. I knew he was talking about the night we ran into the homunculus named Lust. I shivered at the very thought of her and how Jean was almost taken away from this world. "You need to trust us with this." He gently ran his hand up my arm, taking note in the goose bumps that he caused. It was my turn for the serious look. If he thought that the little information he gave me was going to satisfy me, boy was he wrong. If anything, it only stirred up more questions.

"How was I in danger?"

"Abby…" He dropped his hand and was now looking at the pile I had 'rearranged'. His patience was running thin, but he knew he stirred the pot.

"I trust you." He looked back at me, raising one eyebrow as if questioning the truthfulness to my words. "I do! It's just…" I was trying to think of what I needed to say to get him to tell me. "You know me, Jean. Sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me." Trying to lose the stern tone to our conversation, I try my best with a playful pout. His sexy smirk that always tends to make me weak at the knees creeps on his face. Luckily, I'm already seated, even if it is in his lap.

"I do know you." He brought both his hands up to cup my face. My heart accelerated a little too fast for my liking. "Which is why I'm not going to tell you anymore. You get what you get."

"But…" Before I could think of a credible excuse as to why he should tell me, he pulled my face down to meet my lips with his. I wonder if the day will ever come that I won't get a dizzy spell of butterflies when he kisses me. I guess this means we were done bickering with each other. He pushed into the kiss, deepening it into something more passionate. I could feel my cheeks, along with more personal areas of my body starting to heat up. I don't think I'll ever care to admit the effect this man has on me. He was the one to pull away, but not far, just enough to look me in the eyes with determination.

"What I wouldn't give to just take you right here…" He pecked me on the lips slowly and drew back again. "Right now." Not only did my butterflies intense, but they went to a lower region. I don't think I've ever been this turned on before. Biting my lower lip, I look down at his lap to see if he was feeling the same. He chuckled bringing my attention back to his eyes. My heart sank a bit, when I could see the sadness in them. "I would if I could." He leaned forward, kissing me on the forehead.

"Well it's nice to know that your mother was wrong…for a change." Mr. Havoc's voice had me jumping out of Jean's lap so fast that my leg got caught in his chair and fell off, landing on my back. An embarrassing yelp even escaped my mouth. I looked up from the floor to the door to see that Mr. Havoc was leaning against the frame. He was giving Jean a very mischievous smirk. I now know where Jean gets his smile…and allure. "Just wanted to check on you two. It almost sounded like you were both about to tear into each other. Some of the customers, your mother included, were getting concerned." Still looking from the floor, I felt a twinge or embarrassment spread on my face. I guess we really couldn't keep it calm and quiet after all.

"Sorry pops, we were just…"

"No need to explain. I think I have an idea of what you were just." The fact that we couldn't say much as a defense was even more humiliating. We were caught red handed. I pushed myself up to a sitting position, trying to keep any dignity I might still have. The grin of Jean's face made it very clear that he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "By the way, your mother and I will be taking a trip tomorrow and will be gone the whole weekend." Mr. Havoc said as he started to turn around to leave.

"Oh? Where to?" Jean's eyebrow rose with his question. It was almost like he was asking what his father's motives were.

"I think we are long overdue for a vacation. Customer was telling us about these hot springs that's a half day drive away. Your mother needs to relax more and with the two of you to run the shop while we're away is perfect." In that instant, I could feel the stress of this weekend hit me like a slap. All by ourselves? More like all by myself. Jean can't do much when it comes to helping out. He tries his best, and he's really good with the customers making sure that they don't get too impatient with waiting. However, with the store being busy just about every hour in the day would be too much on our own. Especially with it being a weekend. I was only able to close the shop that one time because it was late and on a Tuesday. "Helen, you'll need to make sure my boy is taken care of." So now on top of taking care of the store, I am also in charge of taking care of Jean. Great! Just great! Not that I blame him…he never seemed like the chef type before and I'm sure the wheelchair doesn't make anything easy in the kitchen. I could see that this didn't seem to be troubling Jean one bit. His sly smile told me he was looking forward to this chaos. I was trying to figure out what was going through that head of his, because he seems to be enjoying himself. My eyes slowly widened when the one thought crossed my mind. We were going to be alone…

I couldn't decide if the day went by slow…or too fast. Mr. and Mrs. Havoc were long gone to their hot spring getaway and I was just locking up the store for the night. Jean had been dropping not so subtle hints as to what he has planned for tonight throughout the whole day. He would even discreetly touch me in ways that made it clear what he had in mind. I've never fumbled so many times in one day. I forced him to go home before me so I could have a little time to mentally prepare myself. I had packed my bag the previous night and everything was ready to go. We decided that I would be staying over at his place. Since he has the bigger…bed. I stopped in my tracks, cowering over and begged for my heart to stop pumping so fast. It's not like this is going to be your first time, Abby! Calm down! But this will be my first time with him. And he has had a lot more experience than me. I brought my hands up, covering my face. I guess really this will be my second time. The memory of my first time crept up into my mind. So much regret…I shook my head, forcing the memory out of my thoughts. I'm probably getting worked up over nothing. The couple other times we tried didn't go so well. He was never able to get it up. He claims that it happened one time in the hospital. The nurse was giving him a sponge bath when it happened. He didn't even know what was going on until she stopped and was blushing from head to toe. He claims he wasn't thinking of anything perverted and that he was thinking about me at the time. The nurse explained how she's seen it before and how he shouldn't worry about. Only problem is, he hasn't been able to do it since. Not that we've ever gotten that far…The first few times we tried at my place but I put a stop to it. I just wasn't quite ready and the other time…well. Let's just say that Mrs. Havoc had impeccable timing.

"Hey, are you alright?" My head snapped up hearing the familiar voice of Adam. Levy was standing right behind him. "Helen?" Realizing it was me, he knelt next to me. "Are you alright?"

"Uh…" How to explain my time of distress? "Yah, I was just tying my shoe." I could tell I didn't have him convinced, but he knew better than to ask. If I wanted to tell him, I would and he knows that.

"We were just on our way to Jean's." Levy was now standing next to Adam.

"Really?" I couldn't tell if my voice held relief or disappointment. Did he invite them, or are they making a random guest appearance?

"He wanted to have a little get together while his parents were out of town." I stood up with Adam explaining.

"Well I was heading that way as well." I saw both of their line of sight on the bag I had over my shoulder. I looked at it as well in sheer panic. There's no way I can get out of this one…

"Let's walk there together?" The fact that they weren't going to ask meant everything to me. I knew they knew, but not having to explain everything made all the difference.

The evening was finally winding down. Levy and I prepared a quick but tasty dinner. We were all now in the living room having separate conversations. Levy was talking about all her wedding plans and how ready she was for the day to come. Jean and Havoc were having an entertaining conversation. They kept snickering at each other.

"What are you two talking about over there?" I guess they were drawing Levy's curiosity too.

"Just reminiscing on the good old days." Adam said over his shoulder. We both made our way to our significant other. Levy decided to take her seat on Adam's lap. I decided to take the arm chair next to Jean. "Do you still play the guitar?" Adam's question was directed at Jean, who had a soft smile on his face.

"I've taken it up again. I rarely played it back then though."

"If there's one thing I missed about you, buddy, it was your guitar playing. Why don't you play us something?" The uneasiness was almost instant in Jean's eyes.

"I don't know…I'm still kinda rusty." I remember the first time I heard him play. If that was before rusty, I can't wait to hear him after he's practice for a while.

"Come on! You can't be that bad. I'm sure it's just like riding a bike for you. It was practically attached to you before you enrolled." Adam insisted, with Levy backing him with persistent head nods. Jean looked at me for his last hope. I almost felt bad for him.

"I wouldn't mind hearing you strum a few cords." Like I said…Almost. With a defeated sigh, Jean adjusted himself in his seat.

"Alright…could you go get my guitar?" His eyes met mine. I could read them perfectly. I'll get my revenge later. Ignoring the sudden warmth in my body, I stood.

"Where is it?"

"It's behind my bedroom door." I eagerly went to fetch his guitar, making sure I didn't linger in his room too long. When I returned and handed the instrument to him, he instinctly placed the guitar on his lap, tuning it before he starts. He cleared his throat before looking at his anticipating audience. "This is something I've been working on. It's not quite complete…so no laughing." He closed his eyes as the room fell in complete silence as he strummed the first few cords.

The tune itself was slow, but still had a cheerful ring to it. I know I felt my heart skip a beat when he started singing. Even Adam and Levy were pleasantly surprised, but not for the same reason I was. I never would have imagined him having this kind of voice. Why was I now only hearing it? It was a little hoarse, from all the smoking he does, but it was still beautiful. I was grasping onto every word that was being sung out. After a while, he finally opened his eyes, locking them with mine. I could hear my heart in my ears now, it was pumping so hard. It was clear that he was singing to me, that this song was written for me. All his feelings laid out in this one melody. When he strung the last cords to the song, we continued to gaze at each other. A tear I hadn't realized was there until it rolled down my cheek. I have no words to what just happened.

"That was amazing, Jean!" Levy was the first to pipe up. She was even getting emotional. I finally looked away to wipe the tear off my cheek. "What's it called?"

"Don't know yet. Like I said, it's not complete."

"You have way too much time on your hands, you know." Adam jested, but even he looked impressed.

"It was beautiful." I finally commented on his work. We locked eyes again. If there was one thing I knew in this moment, was that I was ready for what was to come tonight. I could feel Adam eyeing the two of us.

"Well, Lev, I think it's time we get going." I could feel my cheeks flush, knowing what he was doing. He was reading the atmosphere a little too well. Levy was about to protest when Adam cut her off. "I don't think we're really wanted anymore." I had to look at a small figurine that was on the end table in front of me to try and contain my embarrassment. I'm sure she realized what was going on, as she stood up and they both made their way to the front door. "You kids have a…safe night." I could have thrown the small figurine at him. I could hear him snickering as Levy lectured him as they walked out the door. We now stood there in silence. Now what? He started to roll his way over to me and took one of my hands in his.

"If you need to get ready, my bathroom is connected to my bedroom." I couldn't say anything and I didn't want to move for fear that my legs would show just how nervous I am. "We don't have to…if you're still not ready." I guess I don't have to worry about my legs, because my eyes are apparently giving me all away.

"I want to!" I might have sounded a bit too eager there. A gentle smile made its way to his face. I know he's been waiting for this for a long time. Probably longer than me.

"Take your time. I'll get ready myself while I wait." All I could do was nod before walking away.

I couldn't tell you how long I've been standing in front of this bathroom mirror. I had taken a quick shower to freshen myself up more…even though I took one this morning already. My nerves were just about shot. I had to make sure I was ready. I had applied a small amount of makeup, making myself look as natural as possible but still boosting my features. Fortune was smiling at me last night when I remembered that Mustang had grabbed two of my favorite nighties when he was stuffing my travel bag. I'm a bit amused by one of them that he had packed. It was more like lingerie than a nightie and I had stored it at the very bottom of the drawer, just in case if someone went through them. It was a black baby doll style with see through lace that draped over my stomach and came down to the bottom of my butt. The chest part covered my breast well and was designed to have thicker lace design to hide my nipples better. The straps where different from what I had ever seen in Antonio's shop, which is why I got it. There was a normal strap that connected from the back of the lingerie to the front, like a normal bra, but then two other straps started between my collar bone and the upper part of my breast and they went down to either side of my breast. It really refined my boobs and even gave the illusion that they were a bit bigger than what they were.

Unfortunately, Mustang didn't grab the thong that went with it. I guess I'll just have to go pantiles. Not that it was a big deal. I guess with what was about to happen, the thong would be pointless. My hair wasn't quite all the way dry but it gave another sexiness to my look. Everything was perfect. I just had to pry myself away from the mirror and step out to him. You can do this, Abby. With a new-found courage, I finally stepped away and grabbed the handle to the door.

Before I opened it, I pressed my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything. I couldn't hear any form of movement and took it as my cue. Without giving myself another second to contemplate, I opened the door and stepped out to the cool room. The coolness felt good on my still heated skin from the shower. I stood in the door way, trying to see Jean laying on the bed. He had turned off the lights, making the glow from the bathroom the only light source.

"Wow…" His voice came from the ever-dimming darkness. With my eyes adjusted, I could make out that he was sitting up in his bed, wearing only his boxers. Feeling all the anxiety, I had in the shower, I shut the bathroom light off. Leaving us in complete darkness. Luckily the street lamp that was outside his window gave me enough light to safely make my way to his bed. I paused at the foot of it, trying to get my eyes to adjust again. I wasn't sure what to do at this point. Not that there was any other option. "Come here." His voice was soft, which was almost hard to hear with my heart beating at the typical dangerous speed. However, it was enough to get my legs working again. I placed my hands on his bed first and then brought up my knees as I slowly crawled up to him. I was trying to find him by feeling around the bed. Luckily, I was right where I needed to be. I was now straddling him, with my legs on either side of him. His hands found their place on my hips, sending a shiver through my body. We haven't really started, and he was already having this effect on me. I gently placed my hands on his chest, once again not knowing where to take this. "Are you okay?" Even though the room is consumed in darkness, I'm sure he can feel the apprehension coming off me.

"Yes." My voice was matching his.

"Do you want to continue?"

"Yes." I just don't know how! One of his hands moved from my hip and found its way to the back of my head. He gently pushed down, guiding me to lean forward to have my lips find his. His lips were soft for a change, like his kiss. An unexpected moan escaped my mouth when I felt his tongue in my mouth. My body was starting to feel warm as we played with each other's tongues. I started to move my hips on him, just for the sake of not going crazy. It gave me an outlet to all tingles I was getting in my lower region. His other hand that was still on my hip finally left its home and went up and under the lace part of my lingerie. His fingers were just barely grazing my skin. The sensation it gave me had me moaning even louder. He quickly brought his hand out of the lace and forcefully squeezed one of my breast. I broke the kiss with a soft gasp and pushed away.

"What's wrong?" He was concerned. Probably thinking that he did something wrong, when in fact, he has done everything right. My eyes had finally adjusted and I could now make out most of his features again, which meant he could probably see me just fine as well.

"Nothing." Compared to him, my voice was much breathier. "It's just…" Embarrassment stopped me from finishing my statement.

"What?" There's no way I can say it! "Abby…you need to let me know what I'm doing wrong."

"You're not doing anything wrong!" We were both quiet now. He must be waiting for me to elaborate. I guess I have no choice… "It's just that…it was starting to feel really good." I know I shouldn't feel ashamed of this, but I did. I almost lost it when he chuckled. "Don't laugh!" I grabbed the pillow that was by his head and shoved it on his face, hoping he would suffocate. This just made him laugh more.

"I'm sorry." It was muffled, but I was still able to make out what he said. His hands gently grabbed both my wrist and helped me lift the pillow off. "I don't mean to laugh. You're just too cute." Great! Just what a girl wants to hear when she's trying to be sexy. "It's supposed to feel good."

"I know that! This isn't my first time you know…" We were quiet again, with a new awkwardness hanging in the room. Just perfect Abby! Let's talk about that God-awful time while you're trying to make love to the man of your dreams. You've only fantasized about this day on countless nights. I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt his hand on my cheek, pushing me to look back at him.

"Can I continue to make you feel good?" What a silly question. I shook my head and his hand left my cheek.

"It's not fair to you…"

"What do you mean?" Before I could over think of what I was about to do, I leaned back down and kissed him deeply. I could tell he wasn't expecting this. I broke away slightly, my lips just hovering over his. "I shouldn't be the only one getting all the pleasure." I said through a sly smile. I brought my lips back to his, continuing the deep kiss from before. His hands were back on my hips, making them move back and forth. "Are you able to feel that?" I broke the kiss again to ask. He shook his head, not saying anything. I guess it was my turn to ask the silly questions. My eyes zoned in on his neck. It looked tasty. "Are you able to feel this?" I brought my lips down to his neck, biting it gently. A small gasp escaped his lips, sending another wave of tingles down my body. I wanted to hear him more. Kissing where I just bit, I start to kiss my way down his body. Every other kiss or two I made sure to take a nibble of his chest, sometimes sucking as I let up. His breathing has increased, giving me the impression that I was doing a good job.

I continued my down him, stopping at the brim of his boxers. Having nowhere else to go, I stuck my tongue next to his happy trail and licked my way back up his chest. A deep moan came from him as I stopped at the nape of his neck, coming back for his lips. Realization of my behavior was starting to settle and my chest felt a bit tight with embarrassment. Something has possessed me, but he wasn't objecting. I couldn't help but jolt when I felt his one hand grab my ass. I could tell he was surprised by the way he pulled away from my lips.

"You're not wearing anything?" What? Did I break some kind of lingerie rule or something? Not knowing how to really answer him, I just shook my head. "Good. Saves me the trouble of ripping them off you." His hand squeezed my ass, sending a new kind of sensation through me. This was new…and I liked it. A soft groan let him know that I enjoyed it. Even in the darkened room, I could see that sexy smirk on his face.

"Wait..." His other hand was making quick work and went between my legs, getting ready for the next step. I was at a conflict. I wasn't ready for what was about to happen, but I didn't want him to stop. He knew I didn't want him to stop, and slowly inserted his finger in me. The immediate pleasure that coursed through me had me closing my eyes. The movement of his finger already had me weak. A small whimper escaped from me as he silently had his way with me. He's obviously done this before, because my God…he's only using one finger and he's already made me feel better than my first time. He quickly snuck in another finger and I could no longer contain my moans. I wasn't even trying to be quiet anymore. I was impressed that I haven't passed out with how uneven my breath was. What was this? It was almost unbearable, but God! I'll kill him if he stops.

"Jean…" He squeezed my ass again when I moaned out his name. I finally opened my eyes again and saw that he was watching me, closely. It felt like I was going out of my mind with all the pleasure that was building up in me. "Jean." I closed my eyes again, and my hands also closed into fists on top of his chest. His fingers quickened inside me, going even deeper. My moaning was out of control. He found the perfect spot that had me going over the edge. "Jean!" I threw my head back, exploding in bliss. This was intense. My body was shaking from the sensation of it all. I've never had this kind of feeling before, even with doing it to myself. He slammed his fingers in one last time as my climax came to its max. I let out a scream of pleasure as I clenched around his fingers. I could feel how wet I had become with what was dripping down my leg. What has this man done to me? He slowly removed his fingers from me as he continued to watch me. My panting almost sounded like hushed whimpers. I was still jolting from the ghost of pleasure. "Holy shit…" Was all I could say, and that's all that was needed.

"You could say that again." His voice was low, almost rough sounding.

"What the hell was that?" He chuckled under me, more than amused by the scene before him.

"Pretty sure that was an orgasm." He sparkled with love and pride. No shit? If he can do this to me with just two fingers…I would almost hate to see what he's able to do with the real thing. Speaking of which…

"Are you…?" I hesitated to reach under me to see if he was up.

"I don't know…" I could hear the hope in his voice. "Can you check?" I slowly felt my way to his crotch, finding my way above his boxers. Nothing. I brought my hand back, almost afraid to tell him. I looked him in the eye and just shook my head. I could see the disappointment fill his eyes right away, followed by an even more disappointed sigh. "I'm sorry. I guess we have to end it here." I wish there was something I could do to get that spark back in his eyes, but I understood why he was frustrated. We've tried a few other times with no luck. This was the first time we've ever gone so far, but still he wasn't able.

I moved off him and stepped quickly into the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to clean myself up. I took some out to him so he could wipe himself clean from my left-over juices.

"Thanks." Still not able to look me in the eye, he handed me the used tissue for me to throw in the toilet. I had changed into one of his used shirts that was laying on the floor before crawling back in bed with him. I couldn't be more comfortable. "Come here." He lifted his arm up for me to come snuggle up to him. I smiled sweetly as I fit perfectly, laying my head on his shoulder.

"Let me know if your arm starts falling asleep." He scoffed at my concern.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm used to it." I hate that the first thing that popped in my mind was Emily. After what just happened between us, the last thing I want to think about is one of his exes.

"Hey Jean…" Trying to shake Emily out of my mind, I tried to think of something to talk about.

"Yah?"

"There's been a couple things that have been bugging me for a long time now." I think I can finally ask all these questions I've had for him for so many years.

"Ok…" He seemed uneasy with my questions hanging in the air. I was scrambling in the back of my mind to find which question I wanted to ask him. For whatever reason, the conversation I had with Earl at the bar the night I confessed when I fell in love with Jean came to mind.

"Back at the Academy there was this rumor going around after I came back from the hospital."

"And what rumor would that be?" I could hear the smile in his voice. He already knew where I was going with this.

"Everyone was telling me that you were the one who put Ellis in the room down the hall from me for what he did to me. Is that true?" No answer. Why is he taking so long to say something? Maybe I shouldn't have asked?

"Why are you asking now?"

"I've always wanted to know but…I never had the courage to ask. I honestly never knew what I would do, no matter how you answered." He started to graze his hand on my arm, sending tingles through my body again.

"And what if I was?" Damn it! He's really making me regret asking this.

"I told you I don't know! I don't even know what I want your answer to be."

"It was me." He said it so nonchalantly. I looked up at him, surprised.

"Why?" I always knew that would be the follow up question. He looked down at me, debating whether he would tell me or not. He laid his head back down on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling before answering.

"I came to see you a few days after you were admitted to the hospital. You were passed out from the meds the doctor had given you. Let's just say he was lucky I stopped when I did." I was a mess for weeks. It took almost a week for my one eye to swell down. Not to mention all the bruises I was covered in. Luckily, I didn't break any bones. "Did you have another question?" I tried to rack through my brain quickly to think of something. I have so many that I couldn't think of one.

"What about you?" Give me some time to get my thoughts together.

"I have a few."

"What's your first one?"

"Did Bowie have a chance?" Wasn't expecting that. Wait… My next question just popped in my head.

"Since you brought up Bowie, whatever happened that day in the hallway?" He let out an exasperated sigh.

"You know you ignored my question, right?"

"I'll answer yours when you answer mine."

"I already answered one of your questions! How is this fair?"

"That's the rule." I snuggled deeper into him, bringing in his warmth.

"I really would rather not…" I could tell bringing this up was making him uncomfortable, but it only peeked my curiosity.

"Then I guess you'll never know."

"Alright, alright." I looked back up to his face, to watch his reaction. "He…damn it. Do I really have to tell you?"

"Why are you being such a girl about this?"

"Excuse me?"

"Just spit it out already."

"You're a real brat, you know that?" I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "For the love…when you went to investigate my apartment and left me alone with the asshole, he started running his mouth. He wouldn't shut up about how he was going to steal you from Mustang and make you his own little subordinate. Of course, he just couldn't stop there because he wasn't getting a rise out of me, even though I wanted nothing but to punch out his teeth at that point, but then he goes and says how he was going to have his way with you in his office and all other kinds of stupid stuff. I lost it at that and that's when you came running out." I'm glad I listened to my gut feeling about Bowie. He was bad news. I felt my cheeks get a bit hot from listening to his story. He cared about me that much at that time, and I couldn't see it. Now that I'm here, it all makes sense.

"Thank you."

"Like I said, no one messes with the team." I just smiled, remembering that day, and knowing now that there was more to it. "Now back to my question." I exaggerated a yawn and sunk more into him.

"I'm going to sleep now. Good night, Jean."

"Hey! I don't think so!" He brought both of his hands on my sides and started to tickle me.

"No!" I tried squirming out of his grasp but I was up against the wall with no real place to go. "Stop! Jean, no! I'll kick you out of bed!"

"Answer my question and I'll stop!" He was laughing with me, making sure I couldn't escape.

"Okay! Okay!" He stopped with my unspoken promise and gave me time to get comfortable next to him again.

"What was your question?"

"Did Bowie have a chance?"

"Oh yah. Umm…" I thought about it for a moment. "To be honest, I don't know. Maybe?" I hate that I couldn't tell him no, but I didn't want to lie. At the time, I didn't have anything against Bowie. If anything, I would've just used him to get over Jean.

"Hmm…" My answer didn't appease him.

"What?"

"Nothing." He was pouting now.

"Are you mad?"

"No." Yes!

"Oh, come on! If I had known he was out to get me, I probably wouldn't have given him the time of day."

"It's okay. I understand. Nothing wrong with befriending the enemy." I know he was only joking, but his words stung.

"I wasn't doing anything with the enemy!"

"Abby." I shot a glare up to him, but felt my heart melt the moment our lips touched. Asshole. How am I supposed to be mad at him when he makes my heart flutter like this? He broke the gentle kiss and pecked my nose quickly. "It's bedtime. I'm starting to fall asleep."

"Okay." I rested my head on his shoulder again and brought the covers up to cover my arms.

"Good night."

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"Surprise me."

"I'll do my best." He softly chuckled. I can tell he was barely hanging on to his conscious.

"Good night, Abby."

"Night, Jean." The love I have for this man is going to be the death of me. Listening to his steady heartbeat, I drifted off to sleep, still in his arms. ~

END OF CHAPTER 22!

Thanks for reading!

So this was my first "lemon" and believe me, I know I suck at it…but maybe I'll get better over time 😃

Thanks for all your patience!