Author's Note: I am so sorry these chapters are two weeks late. Me and my amazing beta, FireLadyFae/LadyFaePhillips, ended up getting super swamped with life, and given the length of these chapters, and everything that happens, it took a lot longer to edit. Usually, we do 3 edits per chapter (sometimes 4, as needed). Well, each of these took 4-5. So I am SO SORRY! But they're finally here, and we've reached the end of this story. Stick around to read my note at the end of the final chapter.
Zuko watched Aang fly into the courtyard on his glider. The Conduit was with him, holding onto him and using her own airbending to keep them airborne. The silvery mist, some sort of residue from the Spiritual Fusion, was dissipating in the air overhead. But Zuko could feel the remnants of it. The power was insane, far more potent than what he had felt from the Conduit.
He turned away from Aang and the Conduit in time to block a sword blow from a palace guard. Zuko shoved him back and swept his left sword up, flames trailing along the steel. It cut the guard across his armor, and before the man could recover, Zuko ran him through with his right sword in the armor's weak spot before he pushed on to the next enemy.
Azula's men were falling. Most of the bodies littering the courtyard wore the armor of the palace guards, and the sight sickened Zuko. The thought that he had been surrounded by enemies for years enraged him. As he looked at the other bodies, he took note that there was a fair smattering of Dai Li agents and Kage Noshi assassins as well.
He and Sokka had been pushing through the ranks of enemies for what felt like forever. It seemed like every time they got a little closer to the palace, to Katara, to Azula, another enemy got in the way and delayed them. Zuko knew that every second lost was a chance that Azula had harmed Kiyi, or Katara, or Mai. His desperation was mounting.
"Zuko!"
He looked up at the sound of his name. He saw Mai cutting across the courtyard. A Dai Li agent rushed toward her, flinging out a set of earthen handcuffs, but she dodged them with ease. She flicked her wrist and her shuriken knife cut through the air and lodged itself in the earthbender's throat. The man went down, and Zuko rushed forward to meet her.
"Mai!" He stopped in front of her, his eyes combing the area behind her. "Where is Kiyi? Where's Katara?"
"I got Kiyi away from Azula. She's safe now." Mai's amber eyes pierced him. "But Katara is still with your sister."
"We've got to get to them," Sokka said, his face set in a mask of determination.
More enemies were coming their way. They needed to go now, or their way into the palace would be blocked once again. There wasn't any time to waste. Zuko nodded.
"Let's go then," he said.
Mai didn't hesitate. She turned and sprinted back toward the palace. Zuko sheathed his swords and ran after her with no hesitation. Sokka was hot on his heels. They burst into the palace and cut through familiar hallways and empty corridors.
Zuko's heart hammered in his chest as panicked thoughts raced through his mind. The thought of Katara facing Azula alone chilled him to the bone. He thought of what Katara told him in that cramped room back at the Oasis, that she was a warrior. He knew she was right, but it didn't diminish his desire to protect her. Now that he realized how much he loved her, he couldn't bear the thought of losing her.
He was afraid of what he might find waiting for him, wherever Mai was taking him. Would he find Katara hurt at his sister's hands? Was she the one who was going to pay the price for his enlightenment?
Zuko told himself that he had done what he had to, but it did little to ease the cold dread settling in his gut.
He saw the doors that led out to his mother's garden. Mai was heading right for them, and somehow he knew that was their destination.
It was almost ironic how it all led back here, to this place. He had found Katara sitting under the moonlight here all those weeks ago, and the Conduit had shown him a vision of his future family here. What were the odds that he would end up here now?
Zuko, Sokka, and Mai burst through the half-open doors at the same time. Flames were gathered around Zuko's fists in anticipation of a fight, but the last thing he expected to see was Azula laid out on the grass with Katara curled up beside her.
His step faltered and the flames died in his hands. Mai and Sokka let out a small gasp beside him. Zuko took in the scene, but he couldn't seem to comprehend it. Were they both...dead?
"Katara?" His voice sounded strange and distant to his ears.
Sokka pushed past him and hurried across the garden. "Katara!"
He dropped down beside her and bit back the wave of horror that rose up in him as he took in her injuries and the blood that saturated her clothes.
Zuko stumbled down the steps and onto the grass. A familiar scent hung on the air. It was the smell of burnt flesh.
His eyes combed Katara for any injuries. From what he could see in the dim light, blood stained her skin and her face was a mottled mess of bruises. Her clothes were singed. And he could see the mess of burned flesh along her ribs. Zuko's heart pulled painfully at the sight.
He walked on stiff legs over to them. Sokka was kneeling over her, one hand cupping Katara's cheek, his face a mask of worry.
"Katara? Katara, please, be alright. Katara, wake up!" Sokka's voice was thick and hoarse with tears and desperation.
Zuko dropped onto his knees and gently pulled Katara from Sokka and onto his lap. He cupped her face in his hand. Her skin was cool beneath his touch, damp with sweat and sticky with the drying blood that streaked down her chin. Her lips were split and swollen.
"Katara," he breathed as he felt his world come to a crashing halt around him. "Katara, please, wake up." Zuko shook her gently as the tears burned in his eyes. "Come on, princess. Wake up, you're okay. Katara, you're okay. I'm here. I'm here now...I...I'm finally here to protect you, like I promised."
She didn't respond at all.
A single tear leaked from his eye as he looked down at her. How had he let this happen?
He hung his head, his hair falling into his eyes as he pulled her closer. "No…"
He shook his head back and forth. This could not be happening. This was too much...the price to pay for his enlightenment was too high. Wasn't it not supposed to mean death? Zuko couldn't quite remember now. But still, this was too much to bear.
"Zuko." Sokka's voice was a harsh whisper, thick with unshed tears. "Is she…?" He reached for her, and Zuko instinctively pulled her closer.
"I...I don't know," Zuko said thickly. "I...I'm not sure."
He couldn't tell for certain. All he knew was that she wasn't responding, and she hadn't stirred the whole time he had been holding her…
But then he saw the rise and fall of her chest, and felt her warm breath against his face. She was alive. Barely, but she was alive.
He breathed out her name in a sigh of relief. "Katara." He looked up at Sokka. "She's alive." He dropped his gaze back down to her, wincing against the bruises and cuts that marred her skin.
He hadn't realized Mai had followed him and Sokka over to the bodies until he saw her kneel down beside Azula. She pressed her fingers against Azula's throat. Zuko looked up at her, but somehow, he already knew. But he still had to know for certain.
"She's gone," Mai said softly. She pulled her hand away and bowed her head.
Zuko squeezed his eyes shut against the surge of emotions that crashed over him. He pressed one fist to his mouth as his shoulders shook with the weight of his shock. Grief and rage thundered in his veins.
His sister was dead. Azula, who had spent years of their lives tormenting him, humiliating him, was gone. She had tried to kill him. She had tried to have him killed. She had tried to take his throne. She had taken their mother and sister hostage.
She had caused him so much pain and suffering.
But she was still his sister, and no matter how many times she had tried to hurt him, no matter how sick she was, Zuko still cared about her. He still loved her. Now she was dead. It seemed likely that Katara had probably killed her.
It was clear that this battle had been a fight for survival for both of them. And while he could not quite believe that Katara had taken his sister's life, it was evident in the water on Azula's clothes that Katara had likely been the one to deliver the final blow.
But of course, all of this was speculation. He didn't know for sure what had transpired in his mother's garden. Anything was possible. So until Katara awoke, he would have to wait for answers.
Zuko swallowed hard. His emotions were heavy, and he could feel his grief and his anger swirling just beneath the surface, but mostly, what he felt was numb. Like he was watching this scene unfold at a distance, like it wasn't his sister who had been killed, but someone else's. Vaguely, Zuko knew that he was in shock.
"I need to get her to the infirmary," Zuko said hoarsely.
"I can take her," Sokka said, reaching for her.
Zuko shook his head. "No. I'll do it."
"Zuko." Sokka set his jaw as his eyes bore into Zuko. "She's my sister and it's my job to watch over her and make sure she's taken care of. I've got it."
Zuko returned Sokka's stare, his eyes burning. "You don't know what we've been through, Sokka. I've been protecting her all this time. I'm going to do this too, and you aren't going to stop me."
Sokka pulled back, clearly surprised. His eyes darted between Zuko and Katara. Either he saw something in Zuko's face, or he decided that they didn't have any more time to waste, because then he nodded and stood up.
"Let's hurry up then. And be careful with her," he said sharply.
Zuko was glad Sokka had relented. With her wounded side facing away from him, he scooped her up into his arms. Her head lolled against his shoulder, and Zuko held her close. His arms trembled, but it had nothing to do with her weight.
Zuko climbed stiffly to his feet. He looked down at Mai. She still knelt beside Azula, but as always, her expression was stoic and betrayed none of her emotions. Did she feel grief for Azula's death, or did she feel relief?
"Mai, get something to cover up my sister," he told her. "Then go get Pakku, the waterbender. Maybe he knows something about healing."
But Zuko doubted it even as he said the words. He knew the North's opinion on healing. It was for women. But he was desperate, and he didn't have any other options.
Mai stood up. "After I get the waterbender, I'll join the fight." Her amber eyes bore into him. "You should come with me, Zuko. The Fire Nation needs its Fire Lord. Let Sokka take his sister. The others need us."
Zuko looked down at Katara. "No. I...I can't leave her. Not until I know she's going to be okay."
"Zuko…" Mai trailed off.
Zuko could almost see the accusations in her eyes. If that were me, you would make sure I was taken care of, then you would go take care of business. You would never put aside the Fire Nation for me. And she was right. He never did. He never would. But not because he didn't care about Mai. Katara was just different.
He loved Katara more deeply than he had known was even possible. And right now, he didn't give a damn about the fight going on outside of the palace.
He needed to stay with Katara, to make sure she woke up. He had to know she was okay, and he needed to know what had happened in the garden. The battle out in the courtyard felt distant and far away. The fight didn't matter to him anymore.
"I'm staying with her," Zuko gritted out with as much authority as he could muster.
Apparently it worked, as neither Mai nor Sokka questioned him further.
He carried Katara from the garden with Sokka trailing behind him. He wanted to tell Sokka to go, that they needed him in battle, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words. He couldn't ask that of Sokka. Katara was his sister, and if she was going to die, Sokka deserved to be at her side.
The doors to the garden slammed behind them, and when they closed, they kept Zuko's emotions locked up beyond them. The Zuko who carried Katara through the halls of the palace towards the infirmary was completely, and utterly, numb.
At last, Zuko and Sokka reached the infirmary. Sokka shouldered the door open and pushed into the room with Zuko right behind him.
It was empty, but Zuko knew that the staff were likely nearby. Even though Azula was crazy, she wouldn't dismiss the healing staff. At least, he hoped she wouldn't.
"This is your Fire Lord," he called out with a rehearsed voice from years of practice. "I require your assistance."
The door that led to the sick bay cracked open, and a moment later the palace physician, Morokei, poked his head around the corner. His eyes grew wide when he saw Zuko standing there.
"Fire Lord Zuko, you're alive!" Morokei came out of the sick bay and hurried over. "Princess Azula said—"
"I know what she said," Zuko snapped. He nodded at Katara. "This is Princess Katara. She's been hurt. It is of the utmost importance that you tend to her."
"Of course, my lord. Please bring her back right away." Morokei walked back into the sick bay.
Zuko had no idea if the palace physician was a part of the plot to overthrow him. He didn't think so, given the man's willingness to assist Zuko. But he wouldn't dare to leave Katara alone with him, just to be safe. He was glad that he had Sokka there, just in case.
Zuko followed Morokei back into the sick bay with Sokka close behind. There were a dozen beds covered in pristine white sheets. A handful of nurses stood by. Zuko gently laid Katara onto one of the beds and stood back as Morokei and the nurses moved in to examine her.
Morokei checked her pulse before he peeled back Katara's eyelid and checked her pupils.
"Lacerations to the face, a bad burn to the left side," Morokei mused while he worked. He lifted Katara's head and felt along the back side of her head. "There's a pretty nasty contusion back here as well." He looked up at one of the nurses. "Get the burn kit, Yuri."
"Yes, sir." One of the nurses scurried from the room.
"What happened to her, my lord?" Morokei asked as he took a pair of scissors and cut the tunic away from Katara's side.
Zuko clenched his jaw. "She fought against my sister."
Morokei shook his head briefly at the news. Then he resumed his professionalism once more. "She's in quite poor condition, my lord."
"But you'll be able to heal her?"
"You better be able to heal her," Sokka gritted out.
The physician looked up at him. "I am unsure, but I will try my best, my lord."
Zuko closed his eyes as the words sank in. Katara was dying. And it would be all his fault.
Sokka scrubbed his hand down his face. Katara couldn't die. She was his baby sister. He was supposed to watch out for her. How had he let this happen?
The nurse came back and handed Morokei a black bag. The physician began to remove jars of salves and ointments.
"We'll treat the burn first, before an infection can begin," Morokei said. "And then we'll tend to the rest of her wounds. It's likely that she has a concussion, though I'm most concerned with the burn. The pain likely caused her to lose consciousness."
"She's got a wound on her shoulder. I think she's lost a lot of blood," Zuko said quietly. His ears were ringing.
"My lord, perhaps you should sit down," the second nurse said. She pulled a chair up for him.
Zuko stared dumbly at it for a moment, before he sank into the seat. He wouldn't be any good to anyone if he passed out. He leaned against the arm of his chair and pressed his fingers to his mouth in worry, his attention back on Katara. He looked on in nervous apprehension as the physicians worked on her, their hands working rapidly until they seemed to be everywhere at once. But Zuko felt like he was a million miles away.
This isn't happening. This can't be happening. It doesn't make any sense. Not two! Not two of them. Not Katara. It can't be her. That's not what the Oracle said! Our...our children! What about our children? Was everything I was told just a lie? Just a cruel joke from the Spirit World to get us to bend to their wills? He closed his eyes as tears streamed down his face once more.
Morokei finished cutting away Katara's tunic until she lay on the bed in just her sarashi and pants.
The sight of her burn made Zuko feel faint again and he suddenly found it difficult to breathe. It spread across the span of her ribs. Her skin was raw and blistered in some places, and blackened in others. The smell of burnt flesh clung to the air and made his stomach churn.
And beyond the blackened flesh, purple and black bruises spread along her skin along the edges of the burn. And even more bruises blossomed on her stomach and chest.
Sokka took in his sister's wounds and felt a wave of nausea come over him. Azula had really done a number on her. He had no idea how Katara could pull through this. He just prayed to Tui and La that she would. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her. And he didn't know how he could look his father in the eye and tell him he let Katara go off to fight Azula without him.
The physician examined her carefully, his fingers prodding along the edges of the burn.
"Her ribs are fractured as well, my lord," Morokei announced. "Unfortunately, there isn't much that can be done for them, especially with the burn there. I won't be able to bind them tightly."
"Do whatever you can," Zuko gritted out. He pulled his hand away from his mouth and wiped his tears away before he gripped the arm rest. "I've sent for Master Pakku. He's a waterbender. I'm hoping he can help."
"Of course, my lord."
The physician spread his salves over Katara's burn and bandaged them carefully with the nurses' help. Zuko watched, his eyes burning with more tears that he couldn't bring himself to shed.
Katara didn't make a sound or move at all as the nurses shifted her so Morokei could treat the burns. Her eyes were still behind her bruised eyelids. She looked like she was already dead.
The only indication that she wasn't was the labored breaths he could see in the rise and fall of her chest.
Why, why had he let Katara stop him from going after Azula in the first place? If Zuko had continued to follow Azula into the palace, he could have stopped her before she even reached Kiyi. Then Katara wouldn't have had to go after them, and she wouldn't be dying, and Azula's blood wouldn't be on her hands. He could have stopped her. He could have helped Azula.
He thought about what Katara had said, about what-ifs and maybes. But this time, she wasn't there to comfort him, to tell him that kind of thinking was pointless. So the thoughts swirled in his head as he continued to watch Morokei and the nurses work on her. She looked so...lifeless.
He hadn't been able to protect her. Again. And now she lay unconscious, possibly on the brink of death.
And there was no one there to heal her.
Zuko was torn from his thoughts when the door burst open, and Mai came in, followed by Master Pakku. His clothing was stained with soot, and blood ran from a cut above his eye, but otherwise, he looked alright.
The stern waterbender took in the sight of his step-granddaughter and closed his eyes for a brief moment.
Pakku approached Zuko. "Mai has told me what has happened. Fire Lord Zuko, I'm sorry, but I'm not a healer. I won't be able to help Katara."
Zuko's stomach dropped and his heart pulled painfully. He shut his eyes and turned his face away from the waterbender as he fought to keep his emotions reigned in. He had allowed himself to hope that Pakku would be able to help her, but what could be done now? Zuko couldn't just sit there and wait to see if Katara would live or die. The agony would be unbearable.
Zuko looked at Katara, his eyes burning feverishly. "I can't lose her." He spoke from between clenched teeth. "I can't."
Sokka looked at Zuko, surprised. The pain in his voice was raw and deep. For the second time, Sokka saw how Zuko looked at Katara. Suddenly, Zuko's response to her made a lot more sense.
Pakku rested his hand on Zuko's shoulder. "There is still hope. Katara is a healer. Her body knows how to heal itself. Put her in water, and her body will do the work it needs to."
"Are you certain that it will work?" Zuko looked up at the waterbender, his brow furrowed.
"I won't promise it, but it's the only thing we've got." Pakku's jaw was set in a hardline. "Katara is a master healer. If anyone can do it, it's her."
"She's done it before," Sokka said quietly. "That's how she first learned she could heal."
Pakku turned towards Katara's tattered body with a sad, hopeless expression in his eyes as he mused out loud. "I'm beginning to think my granddaughter is right. Perhaps healing should be taught to all waterbenders, not just women." The last words were a whisper.
Zuko stood up. "Yeah, maybe it should be."
His tone was accusatory, but he didn't have time to discuss this with Pakku. That could happen later, once Katara was healed. Instead, he turned to the palace physician.
"Ready a bath right now," he commanded.
"My lord, I should at least finish the stitching—"
"If this works, it won't be necessary." Zuko looked at him sternly. "Do it now."
Morokei stood up and bowed swiftly. "As you wish, my lord. Yuri, Lin, come with me."
The healing staff left the room, leaving Zuko, Sokka, Mai, and Pakku alone. Zuko could feel their eyes on him, but he couldn't bear to look at any of them. He couldn't take his eyes off of Katara. He reached out and took her hand, not caring about who witnessed his affection. Her skin was cool to the touch.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, Fire Lord," Pakku said quietly. "Katara is my granddaughter, and I hope...I hope she can save herself. She's the only one who can now."
Zuko nodded stiffly, finding himself unable to speak.
"We need to get back out there," Mai said. "We're winning, but that can change at any time."
Zuko screwed his eyes shut. He didn't care about what was going on out there. All that mattered was what was happening right here, with Katara. And the body that lay out in his mother's garden. Nothing else mattered.
But Zuko knew what Mai wanted. He was still the Fire Lord, as she had pointed out, and he was the commander of his forces, even when his sister was dead and the love of his life lay dying. She was looking for a command from him.
Zuko stared at Katara's bruised face. "Get Aang and the Conduit to stop it, by any means necessary."
"I'm staying here," Sokka said firmly as he looked at them. "I need to make sure my sister is okay. You guys can handle the rest."
Mai and Pakku didn't say anything else. Zuko heard the door close behind them as they left.
Zuko bowed his head. He felt like he was breaking. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He had known that the price for his enlightenment would hurt. How had he not expected it to be this bad? This was his life they were talking about, after all. Of course it was going to be this bad.
There was a knock at the door, and then Morokei was back.
"We've readied the bath, my lord," he said.
Wordlessly, Zuko took Katara into his arms and carried her from the sick bay. He and Sokka followed Morokei into another room. There was a bath in here, typically used for cold baths to break fevers and to treat swelling limbs. The nurses waited nearby.
Zuko took her to the bath and carefully laid her down in the water. He held his breath as he waited for something, anything, to happen. He knew that the water would glow blue when she began to heal. But nothing was happening. Why wasn't it working?
Sokka watched in nervous anticipation. He knew that the water should start glowing almost immediately. So why wasn't it? Did she have to be conscious? Was she too badly injured?
They all waited for what seemed like forever, even though only a few minutes had passed. But still...nothing happened.
"Damn it!" Zuko shouted. He knelt down by the side of the tub and took her hand. "Come on, Katara. You know what to do. Please. You have to do this."
"My lord, I'm no expert on waterbending healing, but perhaps the injury on her head requires the most attention," Morokei said quietly.
Zuko nodded his head that he understood. He was willing to try anything.
Sokka watched as Zuko stood up and went to stand by Katara's head as he knelt beside her once more. He gingerly lowered her head, carefully cradling it to avoid the deep cut on her scalp, until only her face remained out of the water. Zuko waited, a knot of anxiety tightening in his belly.
Still nothing.
Zuko stared at Katara's face. He couldn't believe this was happening. Had he not been through enough? Had the spirits not punished him enough in his life already? What was he supposed to do without Katara? How could he even move on after this?
Not wanting her to sink but unsure of what else to do, Zuko went to lift her head out of the water. But before he could, the water began to glow. A small gasp left him.
"Katara…" It was barely a whisper. Zuko closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. It was working. Katara's body was healing itself. He looked up at Morokei and the nurses. "Please, leave us," he ordered.
Morokei bowed. "As you wish, your Grace. Please, if you need us, we'll be in the sick bay."
"Thank you."
The physician and the nurses left. Zuko looked down at Katara. The way the water glowed reminded him of the Pond. The thought of the Pond brought his anger to the forefront of his mind again.
That damned Pond was the cause of all of this. If he hadn't drank from it, would Katara be fine? Would Azula? Rationally, he knew there was no way to know, but Zuko was beyond rationality with grief. It ate away at him, seeping into his skin and clouding his mind, his judgment.
Had he really just told Mai to have Aang and the Conduit end the battle by any means necessary? The Conduit? The woman who conjured black flames and possessed a frightening power that chilled him to the bone? He had seen the sort of destruction she could do. If anyone could stop the fighting, it was her. But how much blood would be spilled in the process?
Zuko didn't know, and he found that he truly didn't care.
He thought about Azula, of her body lying beside the pond where the two of them and their mother used to feed turtleducks together when they were young. That was before Ozai had sunk his poisonous claws into Azula. At one point, Azula had been...normal. She had played with dolls and tea sets and had looked up to him as her big brother, her protector.
A memory, long forgotten, rose to the surface of his brain. He was perhaps seven or so, and he had found Azula hiding beneath a table in the library. She had been crying. Zuko had crawled in beside her after she refused to come out and he had asked her what was wrong. She had messed up a firebending form in front of their father, and he had yelled at her, and told her if she couldn't master one basic form, she was worthless. Zuko had comforted her.
But once there had been a time when their family was happy. Before Ozai favored Azula as a prodigy and pitted the siblings against each other, a competition in which Zuko wasn't really a competitor at all. Azula turned cruel because it earned her their father's affection. Ozai whispered poison into her ear. He manipulated her, molded her into his perfect little soldier. And Zuko had been powerless to stop it. He was even more powerless after he had been banished, and then it had been too late for Azula.
But that didn't mean she deserved to die. Zuko thought very few people truly deserved death. His sister wasn't one of them.
"I think it's working," Sokka said in a low voice. "I...I hope it does." He swallowed hard.
"It better," Zuko answered. He closed his eyes. "Sokka, there's something I should tell you. Katara and I...I love her."
Sokka sighed. "I know."
Zuko looked up at him, surprised. Katara's brother offered him a small smile.
"I saw how you looked when we found her out there," Sokka said quietly. "And how you're being with her now. You'd have to be blind not to see it."
Zuko dropped his gaze back down to Katara. "And you're...you're alright with that?"
"If Katara is happy with you, then I'm happy." Sokka shrugged. "It seems like the two of you have been through a lot in the last few months."
"You have no idea."
"Yeah." Sokka nodded thoughtfully. "I think we'll all have a lot to catch up on when this is over."
The two of them fell into silence. Zuko watched Katara heal herself as he continued to hold her head up.
It was incredible, really, how even unconscious, her body fought to live. How it knew what to do. He watched as the bruises on her chest and stomach faded, how the burn began to heal before his eyes. The process was slow, and the minutes dragged by, but Zuko hoped she would wake soon.
She looked so peaceful there, now that the pain was ebbing away. It was hard for him to believe that Katara of all people had taken a life. But Zuko knew that if she had killed his sister, it was because that was the only choice Katara had. There was no other possibility.
Suddenly, Katara stirred. A low groan left her swollen lips, and her eyelids fluttered open.
Zuko leaned over her, his breath catching in his throat. "Katara?"
"Zuko?" Her throat felt raw and she tried to swallow the feeling as she blinked slowly up at him. Her eyes rolled slowly as she took in the room, a frown creasing her face. "Where am I?"
"Take it easy, princess," Zuko murmured. Relief flooded over him and he managed a weak smile. He shifted his hands so one supported her neck and he brushed his fingertips across her cheek. "You were hurt. You…" He couldn't quite bring himself to say the words. Zuko lowered his head. "I couldn't protect you this time. I'm sorry."
"Katara!" Sokka exhaled a breath of relief as he stepped closer to the tub. She looked up at him, disoriented. He knelt beside her and gripped her hand. "Thank the spirits you're alright. Don't you ever scare me like that again." He closed his eyes and let out a relieved breath before he looked at her again. "Do you remember what happened out there?"
Katara blinked again, her brow creasing. "I don't remember...everything's a blur. I remember this white light, and then we got Kiyi away from Azula—"
Her breath hitched in her throat and suddenly Katara pushed herself into a sitting position. She cried out, one hand flying to her left side.
"Katara, you need to finish healing yourself," Zuko said around the lump in his throat.
"Zuko, I—" A sob left her, and she buried her face in her hands. "I remember...I killed her." Her voice was muffled by her hands.
Zuko shifted so he knelt at the side of the tub, opposite of Sokka. He took Katara's wrists in his hands and tried to pull her hands away from her face. Katara relented after a moment, and once he had her hands away from her face, he cupped her cheek. Tears streamed from her eyes.
"I know. But you did what you had to do, Katara. You didn't mean it—"
But Katara pulled away from him, shaking her head. She wouldn't meet his gaze. Something cold pooled in his belly, and somehow he knew what she was going to say before she said it.
"No, Zuko," Katara choked out. "You don't understand. I did mean to do it." Her face crumpled, and her voice dropped to a whisper. "I meant to kill her."
Zuko reeled back from her as though she had struck him. "What? What do you mean? That's not...no, you're confused, Katara. Azula tried to kill you. She almost did. You had no other choice but to defend yourself. It was the heat of battle..." Zuko swallowed hard. "...right?"
Unable to meet his gaze, Katara stared down into the water. "No, Zuko. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know what else to do. I was bleeding badly and I was hurt. She wouldn't stop coming and—"
"You...you killed my sister on purpose?" Zuko snapped.
"Hey," Sokka said, his tone one of warning, but Zuko ignored him.
"She was going to kill me if I hadn't," Katara said quietly.
"But you don't know that, Katara!" Zuko's voice rose. "Isn't that what you're always telling me? That we just don't know? So how could you?"
Anger rose within him, hot and burning. He had not expected this. He had thought, given how grievous the injuries Katara had sustained were, that she had fought back against Azula and had accidentally killed her. He hadn't anticipated Katara confessing to intentionally killing her.
He stared at Katara, shocked, hurt, and angry. Katara continued to sob, and that made Zuko even more mad. How could she sit there and mourn the girl she chose to kill?
Zuko once again thought about the little girl hiding under the library table. And that's all he saw when he thought of Azula now. He didn't see the mad princess who had sent assassins to kill him and had stolen his throne. He didn't see the Azula who had attacked him, attacked his uncle, attacked Katara. All he saw in his mind's eye was the sad little girl hiding beneath a table with tears in her eyes.
"What happened?" he gritted out.
"Azula had Kiyi. Mai and I had to get her away from her. I was so scared she was going to hurt her, Zuko."
"Mai said you got Kiyi away from Azula."
"We did, but then she started to attack me. I was hurt, and she was going to kill me! I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't get her to stop. I had no choice."
Zuko stood up abruptly. Katara turned her face to him, and he looked away, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He trembled with grief and rage.
"You always have a choice, Katara," he snarled. "You didn't have to do that! You could have run away. You could have found me. There were other ways. You didn't have to do this!"
Katara stared up at him in disbelief. How could he be angry with her? She had done what she had to do. Azula was never going to stop. She would have killed Katara without a second thought. She had tried to kill him! Katara had exhausted all of her options. Death was the only way to stop Azula.
Her eyes narrowed into slits as she glared up at him, tears still steaming down her cheeks.
"You weren't there!" Katara yelled at him accusingly. "You don't know what happened out there—"
"You're right. I don't," Zuko cut her off coldly. "You should have never gone after her alone. You should have gotten me."
"Mai was with me—"
"And look what still happened!" Zuko shouted at her.
"Hey, watch the way you talk to my sister!" Sokka moved quickly around the tub and clamped his hand down on Zuko's shoulder and spun him so he could face him.
"Stay out of it, Sokka," Zuko growled as he shrugged out of Sokka's grip.
Sokka's brow furrowed as he stepped into Zuko's personal space, staring him down. "You don't get to talk to Katara that way," he snapped back. He held Zuko's gaze for a beat, his eyes burning. When Zuko didn't respond, he turned away and knelt at the edge of the bath again. "Katara, are you alright?"
Katara swiped the tears from her cheeks. "I'm fine, Sokka. You shouldn't be here. You should be out there—"
"The fight's going on just fine without me." Sokka gripped her hand. "All that matters is if you're okay."
Katara looked away as another sob bubbled up in her chest.
Zuko answered, his voice sharp and angry. "She killed my sister. Of course she isn't okay!"
Katara pulled her hand away from Sokka and covered her face again. He stood up slowly, and turned back to Zuko. The Fire Lord's face was a hard mask. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides.
"Where were you?" Sokka demanded accusingly, his voice rising with his anger. "Why did you let Katara go off alone in the first place?"
Zuko's eyes blazed. "I was out there helping Aang stop the prophecy! I told her not to go after Azula alone. I told her to wait for me!"
"Well, she did go after her alone, and look what happened!" Sokka jabbed a finger at him. "You should have been there! You were supposed to protect her, Zuko! Now look at her. Katara almost died because of your sister! And all you can do is stand there accusing her! Maybe you don't love her as much as you think you do! Huh?!"
Zuko stepped closer to Sokka until he was glowering at him with enough heat in his eyes that Sokka had to resist the urge to step backwards.
"You don't know what you're talking about," he hissed.
"Stop fighting!" Katara cried out. They turned to look at her. "Please, just don't fight. Hasn't there been enough?"
Zuko swallowed hard. "I need to go out there." With that, he turned on his heel and stalked out of the room.
"What have I done?" Katara moaned despondently after he had gone.
Sokka crouched beside her again. He swallowed hard as he tried to reign in his emotions. He had to put his own emotions aside to comfort his sister.
"Katara, you did what you had to do. Zuko will come around. He just needs...he just needs time to process this, okay?" He shook his head. "But that doesn't give him the right to yell at you. I need you to remember that."
Katara looked up at him. Her bottom lip trembled as she tried to hold back her tears. It pulled at Sokka's heart. It pained him to see her so hurt, both emotionally and physically.
"I killed his sister, Sokka. How would you feel if it was his sister in this tub instead of me? Telling you how she killed me?" Her voice was a broken whisper and she dropped her gaze. "How can he ever forgive me?"
Sokka didn't have an answer for that.
"And Sokka, there's something you should know." After a short moment, Katara forced herself to look at him again. "About me and Zuko."
He did know. Zuko had already told him. And if Zuko made her happy, Sokka wouldn't get in the way of that. He would support her. He would, however, not tolerate Zuko treating her poorly because of what she had done.
Sokka smiled softly at her. "I know. It's okay, Katara." At that, she let out a sigh of relief. Sokka reached over and patted her hand. "You should finish healing. I'll go see how things are going out there, but I think everything is going to be okay."
"Thank you, Sokka," Katara whispered as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
Sokka stood. "You're welcome." Then he turned and left.
Once he had gone, Katara lay back until only her head was exposed. She could feel the water healing her injuries, the burns and the fractured ribs, the lacerations and contusions. The water surrounded her, and Katara gave herself over to her element, the place where she felt most at home.
Left in the silence, Katara was forced to face her thoughts. They had been jagged and frayed in these last few minutes as Zuko first confronted her, and then Sokka had tried to comfort her.
Now they became clear and jarring, and her breath caught in her throat as a painful lump choked off her air. Fresh tears pricked in her eyes as those terrifying moments before Azula had died and she lost consciousness sprang forth. Katara let the tears come.
She had killed Azula. She didn't want to. She had only wanted to stop Azula because she would have killed Katara if she hadn't. But she'd known that would be the outcome, didn't she? So did that make her a killer?
At the thought, a memory pushed to the surface of her mind, when she was a young girl, before her mother had died and her father had left to fight in the war.
He had taken her fishing on one of their small kayaks, and they had gotten caught in a storm. Hakoda had hurried back to shore, and Katara had wondered why. When they were safely on the ice again, lightning had struck the water nearby. Katara had watched in fascination as the lightning had sparked along the surface of the water. It was incredible. But then she had seen the dead fish. They had floated to the top of the water, their scales scored with burns.
So yes, Katara knew what would happen when she encased Azula in that water. But what other choice did she have? Azula would have killed her and fled into the night. Katara had done it to protect Zuko as much as herself.
She closed her eyes, but the sight of Azula, her eyes wide with horror and the bubbles of air escaping her parted lips, sprang forth, and Katara opened her eyes again.
She wondered what Zuko truly thought of her now that he knew what she had done. Did he think Katara was a monster? The look on his face when he realized that Katara had killed his sister was burned into her mind. He was so angry with her, so hurt. And Katara wasn't sure she blamed him.
She blinked her tears away as a cool numbness settled into her bones. Her own words came back to haunt her: there's no use thinking about it. The what-ifs. The maybes. It happened the way it did, and we can't change it.
And that was the cruel truth. Katara had killed Zuko's sister. There was no changing it, no coming back from it. It was something Katara was going to have to live with for the rest of her life. That guilt, that sorrow that she felt nestling into her heart, would always be there. She couldn't take it back. She could only hope that Zuko would be able to forgive her.
Katara turned her eyes to the single window in the room, high above her head. The first light of dawn was beginning to spill through it, bleak and gray. It was fitting. She sank under the water the rest of the way, but she didn't dare to close her eyes.
The water would heal the wounds of her flesh, but it couldn't heal the wounds on her soul.