You know, it started as a normal day. Ate some breakfast, walked to school with Nazz, talked about little things that don't really matter (and not about Eddward, heaven forbid he was around a corner...somehow). It was the moment I stepped inside the school that things went a little weird.
The big thing was that I saw Eddward. Yeah, that doesn't sound weird, right? Well, here's the thing: remember how I said he's only seen when he wants to be seen? I mean that. He hides in plain sight in the best of times, and some days I'll barely even notice him in class. Still, today, right off the bat, I could see him at his locker. Oh, and I know where that is cuz you kinda have to know where something is to avoid it.
Anyways, I saw him. I don't think Nazz did, though, cuz she just kept talking. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw him look my way. I just didn't get it. This felt wrong. I started thinking maybe it could be some random thing, that it didn't mean anything. But by the next period, I knew I was wrong. He was looking at me. This wasn't just random, and I had no idea why. If he didn't look so imposing, I'd have asked him. But I'm not ready to die yet. Maybe after school, but hell if I'm gonna challenge his reputation in school. Him talking to a nerd like me? Not happening without some scary words I had no desire to hear.
After my second period, I didn't see him, and started thinking maybe it was all in my head or something. Then...Jamison and Johnny showed up. Of fucking course.
"Hey guys," I played it off casually as they approached, a malevolent smile on Johnny's face. His grin was vile.
"Kevin, my main man, how's the writing hand? Good? Good, cuz I have a paper on some stupid short story, Plank knows the name, and I need you to help me out with it!" His smile read plainly that there was no help, only servitude. I gulped. Jamison's gaze was elsewhere. I supposed he didn't need the same help.
"Oh, o-okay, sure! Just give me the short story and the assignment paper and I'll have it done in a jiffy!" I put on the fakest of smiles. How they managed to fool Johnny, I've no clue, but he's got a couple of screws loose. Hard not to fool someone who fools themselves.
He grinned impishly, "Thanks, buddy ol' pal! I got it- huh?"
I looked at Plank, expecting him to "speak" to the wood as was common. Instead, I found Plank tucked under his arm, Johnny's gaze firmly behind me. I blinked, and froze, wondering what - or who - was behind me. As if I couldn't guess.
"Salutations, gentlemen. I happened to overhear talk of having Kevin do your essay, dear Johnathan, and I'm afraid that would be quite rude of him to do so."
Johnny scratched his head, "Really?"
I imagine he nodded, but I was afraid, and stood still. The paint chipping off the locker to my right was suddenly very interesting
"Why, aren't you aware of the upcoming exam's essay portion? You'll need practice beforehand. It would be cruel of Kevin to deprive you of it. Shame on him for not bringing up such a matter." His voice...had a strange quality to it. I imagined his expressions would have sold what he said, but only hearing it made wonder if he really meant it.
"Hey, you're right! Come on, let's go before this loser tries to fail us. Thanks a lot, Eddward!"
They wandered off, and I closed my eyes. I could have turned around, but I heard the tell-tale click of his shoes beside me. I opened my eyes, and he was in front of me, just barely, facing away.
"We've class, Little Red, do not make us late."
I held my books tighter to my chest and started to walk after him. His steps were...slower than usual. I could actually keep up with him. Was this on purpose?
...fuck it, I was going to ask him what his deal was. It was now or never. I-
"I imagine you're curious why I stepped in there, oui?" He didn't stop, and I found my tongue caught.
I sighed. "Yeah..."
If he heard the disappointment, he didn't acknowledge it, as he continued, "The others know of us as being enemies. To taint that image with even the slightest amount of kindness would not bode well. I do not take well to inquiries into my personal life, and I'd prefer none would make themselves known. If you wish to speak to me, walk behind me; do not look my way, and I shall...consider replying."
I crinkled my face up in confusion, "Alright, but...why did you help with Johnny?"
He made a 'tst' sound, "Johnathan is an uneducated brute who tossed his syllabus on the first day of class. To say I enjoyed deceiving the twit is an understatement."
Wow. He was talking shit about someone else to me?
"...so...it wasn't for me?"
"Mon cher, that is for you to interpret as you will. We've arrived at class. Adieu."
He entered the class, immediately turning to take his seat in the third row against the wall. I went to the other end of the class, taking my own seat. Class would begin soon. Marie was already there, and I kept seeing her eyes flash over to me. Eddward could hide like a champ if he wanted to, but Marie had no such reservations, making her subject of conversation very plain to see. I sighed, tilting my hat down over my face. The teacher came in, and class officially began.
Grammar review was both necessary...and boring. I found myself barely taking notes, already knowing everything Mrs. Rhodes was talking about. I let my mind wander; and when my mind wandered, my eyes did as well. And when they caught Eddward's, my breath hitched.
It was just for a second, but I knew it'd happened. He'd looked at me. Why? What was up with him? He hated me. Was he planning something? Was he that pissed I helped him out? ...did I not fix the machine, and he was just biding his time to get revenge or something? All these thoughts went through my head at once, so I focused in on what the teacher was saying. Anything to get my mind off of these worries.
Class droned on, but eventually, it came to an end. Eddward didn't rush to leave, and I found myself walking past his desk on my way out, dodging between the other students. I caught sight of something on his desk...a drawing? Eddward drew?
"What're you looking at, pipsqueak? Mind your own," Marie shoved her way in front of me, giving a rough push at my shoulder to guide me down the aisle towards the door. I made a face at her.
"Whatever! Don't touch me," and we shared a glare. She didn't seem to be putting much effort into it. I guess I wasn't either.
Maybe I was just playing the game, too...and at the moment, we were foes. And so, I played the part, and went off to my next class, leaving behind the drawing, the artist, and Marie, to the emptying classroom.
"Alright, black-eyes, what the hell are you drawing? Is that Red?"
Her voice struck me, and the daze I was in lifted. Blinking, I looked in her direction. I immediately realized I'd left my sketch in plain sight, and reflexively covered it with my hand. She didn't look angry, just confused. I was, too. I imagine it was written all over my face, with the warmth I felt.
"...I'll take that as a yes. You need to be more careful, Eddward, people'll start thinking things! You know what happens when idiots think!" She grabbed my wrist and pulled me. The pain wasn't there anymore; I wasn't sure if I was thankful for that or not. Either way, I was tugged into the hallway along with my books. Marie stood in front of me with a hand on her hips, the other around her own books and papers. She expected a response. How am I to respond when I barely know the answer, myself?
"I...allowed my mind to wander, and drew. Is there something wrong with that?"
She snorted disbelievingly, "Really? You're drawing Hood in English class, I think there's something seriously weird there."
My face was still warm. I was extremely glad she had me facing away from anyone that might have passed. Still, why was I embarrassed? Was it that we had to use our between-us name for him? It was rare we said something about someone else that we didn't want anyone else to know, but we still had a few nicknames just in case. I realized my mind was wandering away from the actual subject. I was drawing...
I slid the paper from a folder I'd quickly placed it in, and truly looked. It was him. Yes, I'd known I'd been drawing him, but...Father always discouraged me, there's so little use for artists these days, he said...but...but it looked like Red. Or what I could see of him, as we sat in class. And my cheeks are on fire...oh, goodness, what has become of my control?
"I...believe I may take myself to the nurse's office. Perhaps I am hypoglycemic, it could have caused my mind to drift as such," not that I believed that. Nor did she. But she simply nodded.
"Probably for the best. Also, dude, um," she stuck her hand in her pocket, her heel kicking back against a locker, "I think he's noticed you looking at him. Like, all day."
I looked to the side, trying not to betray my emotions.
"Alright, I won't ask why you've been doing it, but seriously, keep it together. We can talk about it later. I just...don't want people asking questions when even you don't know what's up. And don't tell me you do, cuz you definitely don't."
I wasn't going to argue that. I nodded nigh imperceptibly, and turned. She took my arm, and I sighed at the familiar presence. No one would question it, and I'd have actual physical contact with someone whilst I tried to sort my eclectic, befuddling thoughts. No one understood how much I craved physical contact like she did, but she was rare to give it. Perhaps because she was afraid to get too close to me again, and have her heart broken. Again. There was no helping it; I could not feel for her like that, so this was all I ever got, now. But I was thankful for it.
I arrived in the nurse's office, and Marie went off to her next class. I simply told the nurse I was feeling lightheaded, and she allowed me to rest for a bit. I used the time to organize my thoughts.
Why had I been sketching him? Yes, the subject matter of the class was droll, but I almost never bothered with art, not since Father drilled the pointlessness into my head as a child. And yet...I drew him. His face, his shoulders, his svelte form and innocent gaze. He'd even looked at me once, and I'd captured the beauty of his eyes in the sketch.
...beauty? ...Eddward, truly, what is with you right now?
I'll admit it, over the short time since our chance essay predicament, I've grown...fond...of him. In the way one does a younger brother, I'd imagine. Not that I would know. His demeanor, so frightened, but still kind...I could control him, and still, he would not hate me for it. It was an odd thing, really. And rare. It had been so long since I'd met someone who treated me kindly, who told me their thoughts plainly, and did not assume facts about my life they did not know. Once, perhaps, he may have spoken against me with the other children, but...but children are children. And I no longer cry.
Marie has been my only friend for years now. I know I wear on her nerves; I would have to be blind to not see how much I exhaust her. But this school is filled with cretins, children of all ages both mentally and physically. I hate to admit it, but being alone here...I don't know if I could handle it. I lean on Marie too much as it is. Father would be quite ashamed.
Oh, Little Red...are you truly any different from the others? I want to approach you, with no other reason than to speak, as friends might do. But that would be taken wrong by others. So I watch, and listen. Perhaps you do notice...perhaps you'll do as I asked as well. The thought of you speaking to me, of your own volition...
There's that humiliating blush again.
...I suppose, if worst comes to worst...I have your number. That you gave it to me, that you offered it at all...
It would be best I get back to class, once this accursed blush fades. This is exhausting. I'm not certain how others can deal with all these dramas.
But still...
I suppose I can make an exception for you, Red. I'm not sure I even have a choice. I hope you didn't see that drawing...but, I am glad that I drew it. Because now, I don't have to look your way to see you...
...sigh. I placed my fingers at the bridge of my nose, cringing, as I felt my cheeks heat up.
Again.
Red, I swear, you will be the death of me.