To say Eddward was acting odd today was an understatement. I mean, sure, when he pushed me against the wall this morning, he was up to his usual antics, but after that? It was pretty scary.

I first noticed during English class, because I couldn't really get him off my mind after what he'd done earlier in the day. I looked in his direction, more than once even, but each time he just scowled. The third time he met my gaze, and I was seeing the Wolf again.

I backed off after that. I couldn't even say anything after class, he left swiftly and efficiently. Even Marie looked surprised.

I approached her, curious, "Hey, did Eddward...?"

"No," she said, the word hanging, "no, he didn't. I...I don't know, babe, it's freaking me out."

Barely even registering the strange nickname, I looked back at the door, sighing.

"Look, hey," I turned as she spoke, "I'll let you know as soon as I find out, alright? Could be something to do with, yaknow...you-know-who. I'll figure it out. Don't sweat it."

The smile on her face was less than reassuring, but I had to take it. What else was I to do?

"Hey! Sockhead!" I yelled down the hallway. He didn't even twitch. Grumbling, I fast-walked towards him, skipping my steps just to get beside him, "Eddward, what's wron-"

"Marie you will refrain from entering the space within which I breathe or I will not be responsible for what I do."

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Some time ago...

Staggered, clumsy notes 'tinked' through the hallway as I walked towards my favorite teacher's class. She let me use all of her paints, and it was definitely better than spending Recess talking about stupid stuff with my sisters. Like how Lee's dad was the best, or that Ed was just a big teddy bear. I didn't get it, I didn't care, and I left every time.

Still, the piano rang out, warily, every note strangled in its sound. I walked to the music room, peering inside with curious eyes. I recognized the kid that was sitting there, noticing he was smiling and it made me a little confused.

He didn't smile, like, at all. Ever. He always had his arms full of books, and I mean, we were just kids, I had no idea what the books were even for. When school first started, he'd always raise his hand, but nowadays, he rarely bothered. Teachers still called on him, though, and he still answered, but it was like they knew he was afraid to stand out. He used to smile every time, when he was younger.

I stepped into the classroom, knocking at the door frame politely, so as to not scare him. He looked over at me, head tilted, smile failing.

"Oh, pardon me, I didn't mean to intrude upon anyone's time, Missus Gertchen simply gave me the keys to the room, you see, and I was-"

"It's fine, dude. I just heard you playing is all, was wondering who it was. Was kinda clumsy so didn't figure it was the teacher."

His shoulders dropped, head looking down, "Yes, I...suppose I have a lot to learn," his voice was quiet and self-reprimanding, "but that is what this time is for, isn't it?"

I smirked, "You're weird. So what's your name? I always hear the teachers call you 'Mr. Vincent,' which is kinda strange."

Turning himself to sit off the edge of the piano seat, he twiddled his thumbs, "Yes, Father instilled that it was more respectful for me to be called as such, and I made the request...is it really that odd?"

I gave him an incredulous look, crossing my arms, eyebrow raised.

"...Yes, I suppose it is. Ahem, pardon my lack of introductions, my name is Eddward, though Mother calls me Edd."

"Edward? Like the big bear my sister fawns all over?"

His eyes widened, "No no, you see, his name only has one 'D,' where-as mine has two." His smile was innocent and reassuring.

"Oh, so you're, like Double the D of him."

His eyes looked down in thought, "I...suppose?" He looked like a curious pup.

"Alright, so how about I call you Double D?"

"Marie, please refrain from-"

"How do you know my name?" I took a few steps towards him, not threateningly or anything, but just to get a better look at him. He was scrawny, but, you know, kinda cute. In a nerdy way I guess.

"Well, you see, Marie...may I call you that?" I nodded warily, "Though I have chosen to be referred to by my surname, most students are called by their given name. I...try to pay attention to my classmates, if only to...well...nevermind, it's nothing." His voice lowered, hands rubbing one another again, eyes dropping.

"You're strange, Double D," his lips parted to protest, but I continued, "and I like it. Hey, mind if I chill in here while I do some art stuff?"

He bit his lip pensively.

Eventually, he nodded.

I ran up next to him, my voice a concerned whisper, "Double D, what's wrong?"

Eddward's eyes widened, fists clenching and lips quivering. He took a deep breath, eyes closing, and stood still.

"It's...none of your concern, Marie." His voice was strained.

"You haven't lashed out at me like that for ages, hun...something's hurting you pretty bad, and it's not the normal thing," I pleaded with my eyes, but he didn't respond, forcing me to speak further, "please, Double D. I know you don't want help, but...let me know what's up, please."

He shook his head, "No, Marie, I-"

"Red's concerned too. Like, you've got him scared...please, talk to me."

He stood still for a moment, eyes numbly tracing the lines of the hallway floor.

"...Meeting place, after class. I cannot be heard."

I nodded weakly, "Got it."

I leaned against the wall, holding my arms against my chest in a feeble attempt to rein in my emotions. Marie would arrive soon. Every moment I suffered through without something to focus on frayed me, bit by bit. The tears weren't coming yet, but they were at the doors and begging. I had to stay strong. I had to play the game. I was the game.

"Hey." Her voice was subtle as she slipped beneath the stairwell, sitting down in the crook of it as she looked up at my wilting form.

I nodded once in response, just to acknowledge her.

"What's got you shook up so bad, Wolfie?" There was a spark of playfulness in her voice, but I knew it was only there to ease the tension. I held myself tighter, closing my eyes.

"Ph," my voice petered out, "there were...photographs."

"WHA-mmph!" I cupped my hand quickly over her lips, my eyes darting, listening for anyone who could be near. I knew Jamison's class was on the other side of the building at this time, but wasn't going to hold him to that. I wasn't particularly accepting of 'facts' like that after what had happened.

"Kevin cannot know, and you will ensure he stays blind to this," I looked in her direction, placing the command on her through a glare, "as I clean up the mess I've made. I will find a way, you can be certain of that. This was my own fault - no, do not say otherwise - I know of the game, and how to play it. Now, the game plays me, and," my voice weakened, "I-I will survive."

She just stared up at me, pity on her lips, and I couldn't help but look away.

"Eddward...who did-"

"You know enough, Marie. Thank you for meeting me here, now be gone. You know I don't play well with others around," I emphasized the word, hoping she caught on.

She sighed resignedly, "Just...please be careful, Eddward. I know you will be, but...I'd..." her voice choked off for a moment, "if it's getting to be too much, whatever the blackmail is forcing you into," I knew she'd know what was going on without me having to tell her, "don't let him being safe mean you suffer...got it? He cares, too. He's...he's seen all the scars, right?"

Her eyes were fixed on my wrist. I nodded silently, snarling in response.

"Be safe, okay? I'm gonna head to class, because, well...I know there's nothing I can say to coax you out of this. Do your thing, Eddward, just please, don't let it hurt you. I'm not the only one picking up the pieces any more."

She left, and I slipped downwards into a heap, forehead falling to my knees as the heels of my shoes slid over the linoleum. I breathed in. I breathed out.

The dam held.

"Just let him be for now, alright?"

That was the sum of my evening; Marie wouldn't tell me what was wrong with Eddward. She just left me with that, no emotions, and walked off.

What the hell did I do, I wondered, scuffing the sidewalk with my shoes. Stray rocks became bullets as I kicked them, letting out my frustration in a way that wouldn't do much harm to anyone. My thoughts raced, wondering what I could have possibly done to fuck things up. As I neared my house, I stared at Eddward's, momentarily contemplating heading over there and...

And what? Asking him? Asking the Master of Masques what he was hiding? What the hell was I thinking?

I groaned, looking away from the closed-up house. Not a curtain was open, and it just...felt empty.

Hell, he probably wasn't even home.

The walk upstairs was agonizing, lead weighing my steps, my arms, my whole being. I could barely numb through it, so heavy were my emotions. I'd shut the blinds to every room, a needless precaution that I took without a second thought. Upon reaching my room, I only just managed to reach my bed before I collapsed, knees to the floor, arms and head resting on the bed. I couldn't cry yet, and so, I simmered with unreleased pain.

I fell back, sitting on my legs as my forehead still rested on the bed, arms too weak to remain holding myself up. I stared at the fabric of my sheets, every stray, minute tuft of thread visible. I read the lines of it, tracing them into my memory, as I blocked out the other thoughts.

Over an unknown amount of time, my mind wandered through the darkness of my thoughts. Few were hit upon, most just skirted, as my avoidance techniques slowly drew out the pain I'd be feeling when it hit.

I thought of Kevin.

My eyes grew wet as I recalled the worry in his eyes. A pang in my chest at the fear I caused him. I fell into myself, holding my chest, sniffling. I tossed the threat around in my head, knowing it meant little to me, but could ruin Kevin's days, and I felt guilt. How many times did my failings cause harm to others? Mother drinking so she could stand up for me against him. That liquid courage, that vile toxin that gave her strength to stand up for us, her child and her former husband, until she could no longer be strong enough for herself.

I did not consider it as a solution, no, it would only harm Kevin. It would only harm Marie. I did not matter, in the long run; but they, they did. They had lives. Wondrous, chance-filled lives. They could be gifts to this world; Marie painting beauty unmatched, and finally smiling; Kevin making the world a little better for all his kindness, creating and fixing. He was quite good at that...fixing things...if only I was not shattered as I was.

I found myself blushing, and a tear rolled down my cheek. I was loathe to blush, no...it was forbidden of me, to be happy. Father made it clear, I had little use to the world being happy, for I had little to offer in my happiness. I was naïve, back then, and foolish. I did little for the world but add ignorance and frustrating curiosity. Mother...she did not understand his words. It took time, but now, I knew. I knew what my happiness wrought. It made me ignorant, it made me weak, and it...it hurt those I hold closest.

Determined fingertips slid beneath the bed frame, at the corner, near the leg. I met the familiar touch of tape, and practised fingertips slid out my...my sin. A sob bit my throat, and I couldn't quiet it.

I held the razor, polished to a steel gleam, near the cloth of my wristband. Several minutes passed as it teased at the skin. I was too broken to take the band off.

With hesitance, with a choking sob, I slid it into the flesh of the back of my arm. I gasped, dropping the razor on my legs. The band slid back over the cut, leaking and stinging as it was, and the thick cloth turned wet slowly. I rested my left hand on the bed, calming the blood flow, and focused.

I was still alive. Only those who are truly alive can feel pain. I focused on it, held to it, didn't think of the reprimands I would receive from Marie...from...

The thick cloth band grew cold as I cried, salty tears staining the side of the bed, but I was there.

I would survive, and I would be stronger. I would not forget my errors, I would learn from them, and the new scar would remind me of it. And perhaps, tomorrow...I could be a little less useless.

'Fight or Flight,' they call it. Mother always ran, and it always hurt. No matter how tempting it was, to leave Kevin to happier times, let Marie focus on her life...I knew, deep inside, flight would always cause more pain. I would always fight.

And as my wrist reminded me...I could, at least, win against myself.

"Hey, it's Marianne, who is this?"

My voice cracked, "M-Mother...it's me-"

"Edd! Sweetheart, are you alright? What's wrong, baby?" There was urgency in her tone. Leave it to Mother to read me like a book through three lone words on a telephone.

I cleared my throat, sniffling, "I am...not weak, am I?"

"No, honey, what makes you think you are? I swear, if that man has driven you to-"

"It wasn't Father."

"Oh. Um," her tone was unsure for a moment, "pardon my assumption, dear, but normally it is. Who...or what, is causing you to react like this, honey? You don't cry...not any more..."

The truth stabbed me in the gut, but it wasn't much compared to the pain I already felt, "You are correct, Mother."

A pause, "So?"

I sighed defeatedly, "Mother...you know about Kevin."

"Oh, I was right about him? Wait - things didn't go south-"

"No, Mother, they are...fine...but yes, your astute observations of my mannerisms caught on quickly."

"Your Father is blind to emotions, but I always see the sunshine in my little Gift."

It'd been so long since she had called me that, it almost brought me to tears again, "Y-yes, well...someone...caught us."

"Dear, it's only natural that-"

"He will use it against Kevin, and I don't believe the boy is strong enough."

A warmer tone flowed through the phone, "Dear, I believe he's stronger than you know. But what's he using, and to what ends, dear?"

I swallowed back tears, my throat aching, "F-for now, little to nothing. But cowards thirst for power, and eventually he'll just...he'll tell everyone." My voice cracked again.

Another pause, "Sweetheart...you," I heard a sad sigh over the phone, "you're Harrison's son. Sweetie, it's not all your responsibility. You can't do everything alone."

"I must. I refuse to let him suffer for my indiscretions..."

"Then use your noggin, Edd."

I didn't respond.

"Goodness, Mother of the Year Award's coming my way after this one," she took a breath, "baby, you need to find something about this...this scum who is using you, and use it against them. I can assure you, anyone cowardly enough to use your orientation against you is hiding something just as bad, if not worse. Take it from someone who's dealt with this before..."

I remembered kitchen arguments with Harrison's parents over the phone. Tears. The few times Father ever showed affection to her in my sight.

"Edd?"

I caught myself, "Y-yes, Mother. I'll...I'll take your word on it."

"I know you will, honey."

"B-but Mother...?"

She replied curiously, "Yes, Edd?"

"Am I...strong enough? W-will...can you...honestly say I'll be able to stand up to him, and not just...give in, when it seems to be too much?"

The pause was long; the voice that responded, distant, "Dear...you're...you're your Father's son. You're his too, baby. You..."

Her voice was falling, sending a lance of regret through my chest, "Mother...I love you."

A breath, "I...I love you too, Edd."

"I shall see you soon."

"O-of course, honey. Good luck, and...stay strong for me."

"Good night, Mother."

"Night, Edd."

I set down the phone, holding my left wrist lightly. The stinging held the thoughts at bay. It kept me strong.

But as Father always said, the tears kept me weak.

We are the sum of pieces of our parents. Sometimes these sums can be weird.

I don't enjoy breaking my characters, but real life enjoys breaking people, so it has to happen. Hope you enjoyed.