"I didn't realize that your hat was missing." Those were the first words spoken since his utter breakdown.

In the long silence, I'd found my way over to the wall next to Eddward's bed, snatching his pillow down to seat it behind me as a cushion. His head rested on my lap, and I found myself idly toying with his skin, his hair...whatever happened to catch my attention at the time. Most of the time his eyes were closed, but sometimes he'd look at me; sometimes, he'd stare away, out the window or at some interesting point on the far wall. I didn't mind.

"Yeah, it's just over there," I pointed half-heartedly, knowing he probably wouldn't even look, "it kinda half-fell-off earlier and I didn't feel like putting it back on."

"Can you?" His question was innocent, the voice not entirely Eddward's, or not as I knew it. It was the broken boy talking, but with salve on his emotions.

I pondered for a second, "Uhh...sure, yeah, I can, just uh," without having to say more, he pushed himself up, albeit slowly, "alright yeah, that works." I leaned forward, crawling to reach out to grab it, before moving back to sit beside him. His thumbs were twiddling, and he looked strangely unlike himself.

"Kevin," he asked, and I turned to look at him, "did Marie send you here?"

I bit my lip, "I uh...well, she did, but-"

His eyes dipped, a sadness on his lips, "I thought as much." He sighed.

"I was thinking about coming over anyways-"

"She would have, you know. If you'd declined," the gentle voice acknowledged dimly, "but she would have suffered for it. One cannot break alone, it seems." His eyes closed for a moment, opening to look into mine, "Of the many games I play, this is the most painful one by-far, for everyone around me that deigns to care. And I am sorry for that, my Red."

"...but why?" I stared into his eyes with quiet concern, "I mean...it's not like you planned this or anything-"

He shook his head calmly, a weak laugh coming from a fake smile, "Little Red...you are far too naïve," his blue eyes lost their vibrance as he sported his counterfeit smile, "how many times can you watch someone you care for, dying?"

My lips parted on their own as the thought struck me.

The lying smile faded, "Darling, it breaks you. Piece by piece, it takes your essence and parts it into little slivers that you sew onto those you want to protect. At first, a few slivers off the fringe do little, but eventually," his voice neared inaudible, "it...it takes too much, and we are no longer alone in dying, Kevin."

Our eyes met. The evening light glinted off his eyes, and I could see the tears there, held back only by strength of will...or something else. I found myself wanting to be closer to him, and tugged up at his shoulder, pleading with my gaze. At first, he wavered; but after a moment, he sat up. I slid my arm around his shoulders, as he didn't sit up perfectly, just enough to rest his head against my chest. It was enough. I leaned my chin down, lips touching his beanie.

"Why do you hurt so much, Edd?" I asked, voice breathy as it whispered over his forehead. His eyes closed.

"Qui n'avance pas, recule," a brittle voice replied, accompanied by a loud, huffed laugh, his eyes rolling, "look at me, Red, who am I fooling? I know la langue de l'amour for nothing more than my own amusement! T'would be a fool's errand to learn what cupful of full phrases I am fluent with...to learn how shameful I am, hiding behind proverbs of a foreign language. Certainly the language is simple and known to me, but I hide even further. Eddward, you simpleton..."

"Hey, don't be like that," I pulled him tighter against me, noticing just how strong he was as his arm tensed against mine, "it's...hey, let me finish, okay?" His lips were parted in protest, but they closed. The gap between his teeth settled on his bottom lip, and it almost made me lose my train of thought, "So what if you only know a few phrases? That's what you meant, right?...yeah, it's just you being respectful, I get it. It's not laziness - no, you're not telling me it is, be quiet for a second - you're way too smart for that. You're fucked up and hurting and your childhood's...well, just..."

My words fell as I looked down into his eye, childlike ice gazing up at me.

"Look, I," I shook my head, my thoughts arguing with one another, "I can't let," his eyes never left, "I need to see you smile again, Wolf," my shoulders slumped, "for real this time."

He just stared off at a fixed point somewhere on the floor, unmoving in my arms, so I held him tighter, and sighed.

I'll wait...

I wanted to smile for him. I wanted to be all he could ever ask for, and yet I lay there, helpless, in his arms; a broken figment of a person going through the motions of existing, and nothing more. But no matter how worthless I was, no matter how much I was in loathe of myself for all I'd done to him and to others, I couldn't ignore how he felt. The warm tingle that streamed through me when he pulled me closer...the steady, rhythmic sound of his heart. I was human, mortal and fallible though that may be. I was so sorry for it.

I didn't even realize that a tear had escaped until I felt a soft touch on my cheek, jolting me back to reality. He chuckled, and I tried to hide how much I adored it behind closed eyes.

"Hey...I'm here, you can still cry, Edd..."

I shook my head. I can't keep being this weak, I can't I can't I can't-

One of his soft hands lifted my chin, and I felt lips press against my forehead. Another tear dripped down my cheek, as a blush betrayed me. I was already so vulnerable, I couldn't let him...I couldn't be so...it wasn't fair of me to...

"I like when you blush," my eyes, shocked open, caught his, his lips turned up in a warming smile, "makes you seem, yaknow...human, Wolf."

I breathed in deeply as a rush of warmth flooded me again.

I had tried. Truly, I had tried to take control of the situation long before; I would be his 'Loup,' separating him from his heart's language. He would speak the word, and it would not mean as much, and I could hide my reaction. Or hurt from it, as it ended up being. But no...no, he was calling me Wolf again, and I could not stop him but for to admit my weakness. Admit that I was his Wolf, and only his, and...and I could not. I had to end this.

I swallowed, "Your parents must be worried..."

"Fuck," I heard him say as he tensed behind me. I sat up a little, anticipating him needing to get up, but instead I found myself pulled back against him. I could have pulled away, but his stubborn "strength" was...hard to say no to. I am weak. I know.

"Do you not wish to-"

"Yeah, I need to call them. They're going to be fucking pissed but...look, Eddward, you're coming with me, alright?"

I felt my cheeks redden, head ducking to hide it, "Porquoi?"

"That's...that sounds kinda like Spanish, uhh...anyways, just, come with me, alright?"

As if I had much of a choice, to be truthful. I was a puppet held upon his strings, and were he to ask, I would do. I was at my weakest.

I felt...safe.

"I take it that it did not go well?"

I snorted, "Yeah...kinda not really, but whatever, you know? I'm old enough to live my life, they can't tell me what to do." Well, they could. And if dad hadn't vouched for me on the other end, given me this 'one time,' I'd probably be grounded for scaring them with the whole disappearing act. "'Sides, you needed me. More important, if you ask me."

Eddward shook his head. I bit my inner lip, moving around the coffee table to sit down at his feet. He was lying on the couch almost like a cat would, one arm under his chin while the other dangled off, the rest of his body spread across his half of the seat. He didn't touch his dad's side, and I wasn't about to do that either. So, I sat below him. Besides, it let me rest my head against his, not sure he was expecting that.

"You're such a bummer, you know?" I smiled, watching as he rolled his eyes, and I laughed, "think smiling would kill ya?"

"Implausible as that is, it's not something I would like to test out at the present time."

I raised an eyebrow, but he didn't look at me. I turned my head a little, my mind flicking between ideas, before I settled for one in particular. An obvious one, but I had hope.

I placed a small kiss where his jawline met his neck. The effect was immediate, and totally worth it.

"Kevin wh-what are you doing, that's..."

I saw the tiniest hint of fear in his eyes, but kept watch as his cheeks flared. I couldn't help but grin when that happened. I was going to respond, but instead, I pecked his neck again, eliciting a small squeak from him. I tried to continue; I wasn't sure if it was his reactions, or just the way his skin felt; but I found a strong arm had taken hold of my shoulder, pushing me back. I put on my best pout, looking at him as though he'd slapped my hand away from an offered treat. Eddward still wouldn't look at me.

"K...Red, you cannot. This is not right. You should go."

His eyes, though pointed away, begged for me to listen. And, in the past? Maybe I would have. But now, I could see something else in them: pain. A true, undying want for pain. He wasn't asking me to stop because he didn't want it, he just...he was so addicted to pain that...

I pushed back against his grip, this time looking directly into his eyes, my lips mere inches from his. He held his breath, eyes just barely meeting mine.

"If I want to kiss the Wolf, then to hell with it if I get bit."

For the hundredth time today, my mind shut off, unable to process what was happening to me. I only barely came to grips with the fact Kevin's lips were crushing mine, my hand falling from his shoulder almost out of reflex. I tried to pull away, the dark thoughts still lingering in my mind telling me how little I deserved this, but he pushed harder. I cringed. I fought to grasp reality once more.

His hands caught the sides of my face, and I knew he was sitting up to continue all of this. Still, my mind warred.

He deserves someone who can make him smile, not someone who ruins his day for his own petty reasons.

I winced, the tears still aching behind my eyes.

I can't allow this, it has to end before he gets himself hurt again by my own personal failures.

A tear escaped. I pushed forward into the kiss, just for a moment.

You asked to be bit. If you're that determined, I'll be damned if I don't put up a fight. I can't let you suffer without trying to chase you from the pain.

I nipped his bottom lip, biting. I couldn't bite nearly as hard as I wanted to, but I bit. He pulled back, and my chest pulsed in pain, knowing he took the bait. The tears nearly came.

His tongue slid out between parted lips, running over his lower lip, staring at me with questions in his eyes. I waited silently, the sadness patient to achieve its goal.

A crooked smile came over his lips, "Alright, guess we're playing as enemies then, I getcha..."

I found myself spun onto my back, his knees settling down on either side of me, though one nearly slid off the couch. His lips found purchase at my chin, where he bit, delicately. I fought back any thoughts of enjoyment. Then he did it again, lower, just below my chin. My throat. Little nips. Love bites, running over the cartilage of my neck, making me gasp. My Little Red, he was...not playing the part expected of him. My eyes closed to near slits.

"You're so...how do you do this? I mean," his lips met my neck in a softer kiss, "no one else has ever made me...you know...anything like this. And you, you just lay there and I can't stop my eyes from fucking undressing you a...as..."

To say he was blushing after that would be an understatement. Instead, he wore his color proudly, the red shining down his delicate neck, matching his cap quite nicely. I admit, I was not foreign to blushing at that time, but he was the victim of the moment.

I didn't even think, "I am the forbidden fruit, and you, the curious one...my life, my guise, the serpent to tempt you. But...such colorful language, Kevin; I did not expect."

He winced, sitting back against my legs as his hand ran through his hair under his hat, "Cuz you...do things...to me..."

I tilted my head, entranced as I was in our little 'game,' "But I did very little, mon cher. You did all the acting for the both of us."

He grumbled in his throat, looking off to the side as the blush made clear his embarrassment, "I didn't actually expect you to bite me..."

Without thinking, I found my cheek turning upwards in a half-grin, a canine exposed, "Ah...but you asked the Wolf to bite, did you not? I am nothing if not a gentleman." The smile warmed me, and his did in turn, no matter how hard the thoughts in the back of my mind against against it.

His laughter was rich and innocent, "Yeah yeah...hell, for a big baddie, you're pretty soft in the sack, huh?"

My lips went taut as I flushed.

The laughter it earned was almost worth it, "Oh my god! I can't believe you just let me say that, you're totally...Edd, you're unbelievable, you know that?"

I responded demurely, "I have my moments..."

He bit his lip cutely, "You're," his eyes went down for a moment, and I knew exactly where he was looking, "you're...not gonna let this turn into anything, are you?"

I shook my head.

"Why not?"

My eyes turned away, "Because," because I could never deserve this, no matter time nor repentance, and I will always put it off and always have a reason, my dear, "we are both emotionally depleted after my earlier outburst. Again, I would be 'using' you, and it would be...unfair."

"God damn, I...well," he groaned, sighing as he leaned forward, arms resting on my chest as he stared into my eyes, "can I at least stay like this for a little longer? You know, Marie asked me to stick around until I was sure you were okay, and I gotta be honest? Not totally convinced of it."

Stay forever if you'd like to, "I don't believe I'm in a position to force you to leave just yet, judging by our seating arrangements," excuses, excuses, Eddward; you could lift him with a single arm, "but soon, you should make our way home. Best to not overextend your stay at Marie's behest."

"Heh, nah, I'm, well," his voice rumbled through my chest, and it soothed me, "I'm just here for you. And honestly? Me, too."

I didn't respond. I could have queried what he meant, but...but I knew. A part of me, however, needed to be unsure. Just to give me a reminder of how hope was painful to have.

But at that moment, with the small, orange-haired boy in his red cap lying on my chest, his scent filling me, his entire being focused on mine, well...

I lived in the present, in the pleasure, and forgot about the pain.

If only for a little while.