Chapter Nine
Awaken

Two days had passed, and Serena still hadn't woken up. Heero started beating himself up over the fact he had agreed to all this, only to have Serena fall back into a coma. It was a risk no matter what they did, but now watching her lie on the cot next to him, Heero began to regret even letting her go through with it.

They had no way of knowing if the ZERO system had worked till she woke up. Although Doctor J had said everything was fine and that her coma was presumably due to the amount of information her brain had received. Serena's mind most likely couldn't process everything, thus shutting down to give itself time to recover.

While Heero was happy to know nothing was seriously wrong with Serena. The anxiety of waiting it out was starting to wear him down. He had barely slept the past few days. Any time he tried, Heero was jolted out of his slumber by either a memory that wasn't his or the fact that he thought Serena was waking up. Because he wanted to be there for her when she did.

By the fourth night, Heero couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. He had been exhausted from the lack of sleep and stress. He checked on Serena one last time before lying down on his cot. Slumber came quickly as soon as his head hit the pillow, and Heero felt himself being dragged under into the darkness.

When Heero opened his eyes, he couldn't remember when he had fallen asleep, but it was a dreamless sleep. He still felt exhausted, but something had awoken him. Heero turned his head towards Serena's cot. Expecting to find her still lying prone. But she wasn't there. Sitting up, he glanced around the lab. Hoping his eyes would land on…

Her.

Serena sat at one of the computers set up in the middle of the lab. A blanket draped over her shoulders. Unmoving where she sat. Heero slowly got up, making his way over to her. When he reached her, he stopped looking at the monitor. Nothing, in particular, was on the screen. Lines of coding for something he wasn't sure about. Only one section was highlighted as the cursor sat blinking on the computer screen.

"How long?"

"Huh?" Heero looked down at her. Slowly Serena turned around to face him.

"How long have I been out this time?"

"A few days…" Heero wasn't sure what time she was referring to.

"Hm." Serena stood, pulling her blanket around her. "Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat."

"No, I'm fine," Heero said, still puzzled.

"Suit yourself," Serena shrugged as she took a few steps away from him. "I'm going to go make some coffee." Heero reached out a hand, stopping her before she could walk past him.

"Serena, what's the last thing you remember?" Heero asked.

"You," she said, meeting his eyes after a moment.

"You know that's not what-"

"Heero, I know who you are." Serena pulled her arm away from him. "Now, I would like to have a cup of coffee," she said. Still not convinced, Heero followed after her.

"Tell me about Trowa," Heero stated rather than asked. Serena stopped walking. Her back went rigid as she looked ahead.

"You let him get shot." Heero felt his eyes grow wide. He wasn't expecting Serena to say anything close to what she had. Slowly, she turned herself to face him. "You were supposed to keep him safe until I could get you guys out of there."

Heero wasn't sure what to say. He remembered the look in her eyes when he had grabbed her arm on Ischyrós. Serena was angry with him, and she had every right to be. She had given him all the signals and warnings. Serena showed him she was still herself and to watch out for the guy named Nick, and despite his best efforts, Heero undoubtedly let Trowa be shot.

"Is he okay?" She asked tentatively after a moment. Breaking through Heero's thoughts. "Did he-"

"Trowa survived," Heero cut her off. "Just some scarring from where the bullet impacted his shoulder." Heero watched as the words slowly sank in. Serena stood staring at him for a minute.

"He's… he's doing okay without me, right?"

"Trowa..." Heero mulled over his words. He could've lied, but it was clear that her memories had returned. Because of this, she probably remembered their conversations over the past two weeks. Deciding that honesty was going to win, Heero answered her. "He misses you."

"I'm happy he's okay," Serena said before she turned swiftly on her heel. Walking away from him. But the tears that had started to gather in her eyes didn't go unnoticed by him. Heero followed behind her as Serena made her way to the small kitchen.

"Serena-"

"Just leave me alone, please?" She kept her back to him while she started working on making some coffee.

"No," Heero said, causing Serena to swing her head towards him. "I get it, it's a lot to process, and I know you're-"

"I'm sick of being weak," Serena growled, cutting him off.

"You're not weak!" Heero snapped back. "Just because you're sad doesn't mean you're weak. All of humanity is weak."

"I'm not supposed to feel, remember?" Serena said bitterly. "This is how I got myself into this mess, to begin with."

"Would you rather not feel anything?" Heero crossed his arms over his chest. "Go back to not having something worth living for?" Serena looked away from him.

"No…" she said after a moment.

"Then stop beating yourself up because you truly feel something. Being sad is a part of everyone's emotions. If you didn't feel upset, then I'd be concerned."

"Yeah, easier said than done," Serena snorted.

"Make your coffee, then we'll talk."

"Or you can go back to sleep. You look like you haven't slept in days," Serena said with a frown.

It was an understatement, and Heero knew it. He hadn't slept properly in days. But Heero knew he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep anytime soon.

"I'm awake now. I don't see the point in going back to bed."

"Suit yourself," Serena said, grabbing a cup and the coffee pot.

They had spent an hour discussing what had happened after Serena went missing. Heero tried to bring Serena up to speed on what information they had been able to gather after the destruction of the Ischyrós. But he decided to leave some things out for the time being. Unfortunately, ROE was still a mystery to them. Any lead they found hadn't gotten them closer to discovering where Edwards was.

Heero reluctantly viewed Serena's file a couple of additional times since he had obtained them. Catherine had been helpful in the matter. Looking for the flash drive for him while she was staying with Trowa. As far as Heero knew, Trowa didn't know anything about it to date. Trowa hadn't questioned him on the matter, Heero could only surmise that Catherine had stayed true to her word that she wouldn't tell Trowa. At times it had been difficult, and Heero had skipped over the sections which pertain to Serena and Edwards's relationship. It always brought a bitter taste to his mouth, knowing and seeing what Edwards had done to Serena.

Heero had pushed the angry thoughts aside as best as he could. Heero needed to look at the finer details. Looking for any hints he had missed that could tell them where Edwards might be hiding or if there was a chance he could plan something else. It didn't help that Heero had a front-row view of Serena's thoughts and feelings towards the man who was grooming her in a way for world domination. It only made Heero's resolve to put the man behind bars even stronger.

Since the destruction of the Ischyrós, there hadn't been any indication that ROE was still functioning as a group, but that didn't mean there weren't others working to reestablish the organization. From what Heero was able to gather, through Serena and some information Doctor J had provided, ROE was more extensive than any other organization they had encountered.

While others had come and gone over the years, ROE had been working behind the scenes. Staying hidden long enough to build a sizable army of soldiers. If Serena had never landed in their laps, they would've never known about the group before their plans were in motion.

Heero knew those who weren't arrested had likely made their way back to ROE. Anyone that felt out of place in the world would've jumped at the chance to join the organization. Especially one that had been formed by soldiers.

Hell, if he hadn't found the light at the end of the tunnel, Heero probably would've been one of those people who joined. All he had ever known was war and what his role was. All of that changed when he met Relena. And slowly, over time, Relena changed his views and sense of what justice meant. It had been a blessing Heero didn't fully understand until after the Eve Wars. His whole life had changed then, and now, he was trying to change the fate of someone else's.

Serena had little to offer on the subject as they continued to talk. But Heero suspected that there was more information she wasn't giving up. Now that Heero shared Serena's memories… there was still something missing, and Heero wondered if Doctor J had purposely deleted that information from her files. There was no way everything was that cut and dry.

But maybe the key to the answers he had laid within Serena, herself. There was a possibility that she could unlock even more memories as time went on. Time would tell if his gut was correct on this. But it wasn't worth pushing Serena anymore. She still needed time to heal. Which naturally led them to talk about what had happened to her.

Serena had gotten herself another cup of coffee, and Heero had finally accepted her offer to make him one. After a few minutes of them sipping the hot black liquid, she asked him more about Trowa. To his surprise, Heero also found it hard to tell her the truth. Trowa had been the worst between the two of them. Trowa rarely slept. He barely was eating, and when it came to doing any work at the office, they had found Trowa sitting at his desk staring out the window. Heero knew that his home life was worse. Heero had visited his comrade a few times to ensure Trowa wasn't planning on doing something stupid. Trowa had assured Heero that he was fine and wasn't going to off himself, but it didn't mean that none of them thought to keep tabs on him.

Trowa had become depressed, but as time passed, Heero noticed Trowa was returning to his former self. It was slow, but soon Trowa had returned to being able to work without too many distractions. Trowa's lack of sleep was still evident by the dark circles under his eyes. Heero had ended up calling his sister to come and stay with Trowa again. Heero thought maybe having Catherine there would, at least, get him back to eating proper meals. Trowa had lost some weight, but as time continued, Trowa started gaining it back. Catherine's visit had helped. Even though Trowa was still upset, he seemed like he was coming to accept the idea that Serena may not ever return.

"I'm surprised you cared that much," Serena muttered as she set her coffee back down.

"What?"

"Nothing," Serena said, picking her coffee back up. "I'm happy he's doing better."

"No," Heero said, giving her a stern look. "You said you were surprised I cared that much." Serena's eyes flashed at him. "Why did you say that?"

"Considering you didn't want Trowa "getting involved" with me," Serena said, putting her coffee back down to point at him. "You threatened him when you two were heading to my room after Une granted Trowa permission to let me stay with him."

"How do you know I threatened Trowa?"

"I now understand why you made that comment to me," Serena frowned at him.

"What comment…" Heero trailed off. Shaking his head, Heero realized that not only did he gain Serena's memories, but she also obtained his. "How much do you know?"

"I know up till a little before I ran off, then after I spoke you to that first time a few weeks ago. Why?"

"That's why you asked me about the last few months," Heero mused more to himself than Serena.

"Yeah, why?" Serena asked.

"Nothing, just trying to understand something," Heero said, shaking his head again. Why would Serena only know up to a certain point before there was almost a time jump in his memories?

Was it something Doctor J did on purpose? Or was it the ZERO system picking and choosing what information they received?

"Can I ask you something?" Serena's voice broke through Heero's thoughts.

"What?"

"Who hit Trowa?"

"What are you talking about?"

"After you let him get shot." Heero knew at that moment that Serena would never let him live down what happened to Trowa. "When I was going to uncuff him, I noticed a lovely black and blue mark on his jaw."

Or the following words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"I hit him."

"You punched Trowa!?" Serena stared at him wide-eyed for a moment before her eyes narrowed into slits. "Why?"

Heero cursed to himself. With honesty being his new policy, it was already starting to bite him in the ass.

"It was after I learned that he," Heero paused, thinking over his words. "After I learned you two were in a relationship."

"So you thought that punching him was a good idea!?"

"I was angry!" Heero shot back. "How would you feel if you found out your friend was sleeping with someone you were trying to protect!?"

"I'm a fucking adult, Heero! I don't need-"

"Someone needed to care about you!" Heero yelled, cutting Serena off. "J certainly didn't do a good enough job protecting you. I was only looking out for you, Serena!"

"Trowa did care," Serena growled at him after a moment. "And you know that."

"Now I do," Heero said. "I knew something was going between you two. I just-"

"You didn't want to accept it," Serena said, cutting him off. "You only saw me as an enemy."

Heero wanted to retort her statement, but he knew he couldn't. Not only would he be making excuses for his actions and behaviors, but he would be lying to himself if he did so.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you from the beginning," Heero said.

"I don't hold that against you," Serena said with a frown. "I wouldn't have trusted myself if I was in your shoes."

"I know, but it doesn't mean anything I did or said to you was warranted."

"It was, Heero. You did the right thing before you learned everything," Serena said, turning her head away.

Neither of them said a word to each other. Letting the room fall into silence. Heero was lost in his thoughts of his past actions towards Serena. Seeing things from both sides gave him a new perspective on them. Heero understood why Serena felt the way she had when they first met. Serena understood him, the old him. Her comments about him changing over the years finally clicked. But her view of him had never wavered. Serena still looked up to him, even when she was furious with him. Which Heero couldn't blame her for. He knew he was an asshole to her more than once. All the times she had thought and even told Trowa that she just wished he'd understand.

"Relena compared us a lot, didn't she?" Serena's question broke through Heero's thoughts. He hadn't noticed that he had looked away from Serena as he brought his eyes to meet hers. The smirk on her face told him that Serena was recalling a memory. One that wasn't hers, but his.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"You two seemed to talk a lot after-"

"This knowledge never leaves this table. Do you understand me?" Heero knew what Serena was referring to. It was the one downside Heero was starting to realize about the fact he and Serena shared each other memories.

"I'm completely okay with that," Serena said, her eyes tightening as her face grew darker. "There are things about you I wish I never knew."

"I could say the same about you," Heero muttered as he picked up his forgotten coffee to take another sip.

"Look, I didn't want you to know anything about Trowa and me. I enjoyed that those were my memories, my personal ones that no one else could see. Now I have to share them," Serena said, looking away from him.

"But you share them with Trowa, me, and everyone you spend time with."

"That's not what I mean," she turned sharp eyes back to him. "You know damn well what I'm referring to."

It took a moment, but then Heero understood. Nothing about Serena's life had been hers. Nothing had ever been personal for her. Someone always knew something. Privacy wasn't something she had the liberty to have.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Serena pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't think anyone knew that was going to happen. Does J know?"

"I didn't tell J, but if I had to guess, he knows," Heero shook his head when Serena looked at him.

"What do you mean he knows?" Serena's face paled.

"When I checked the system after J left, more data had been encoded into the program."

"Ugh," Serena slid down into her chair. "So it made a new timeline of events using your memories."

"That's my guess."

"Delete everything," Serena said as she sat up, looking him directly in the eyes. "I'm going to say this once and only once. You are never to speak about anything you witnessed to anyone else. Especially Trowa, do you understand me?"

"I do, but why would you-"

"There are some things people don't ever need to know about me, and I'd like to keep it that way," Serena said, cutting him off.

"I understand, but I want you to know that if you need to talk to someone about anything… you can talk to me."

"Thanks, but I'd rather keep those things in the past, where they belong."

Heero didn't say anymore. The look on Serena's face told him that this particular conversation was over. Sighing to himself, Heero knew there was more they needed to discuss. Mainly what Serena was going to do now that she was out of her coma, and for the most part, her memories had returned to her. Heero had mulled over what she could do and what she should do. But in the end, it was her decision. Heero knew he couldn't force her into anything, and he knew Serena was capable of going into hiding if she wanted to. But maybe he could persuade her into returning with him.

"What do you plan to do now?"

"What do you mean?" Serena asked him as she looked up from her coffee mug.

"Are you planning on staying here or returning to Earth with me?"

"Stay, return to Earth!?" Serena's went wide for a moment. "Heero, I just woke up. You can't expect me to be able to answer that question."

"Can I give you my opinion?"

"Sure…" Serena said slowly.

"You should return to Earth with me."

"Why?"

"You're safer being on Earth than you are here."

"You're joking, right?" Serena glared at him.

"I'm not," Heero shook his head. "You're safer being on Earth with everyone else than you are being here with J. Do you think he's going to protect you if Edwards comes knocking on the door?"

"You know I'm capable of taking care of myself," Serena frowned at him. "I also don't have to stay here on L1."

"Then where would you go?"

"Another Colony. There's plenty to choose from."

"And what happens when Edwards finds you?

"You honestly believe I wouldn't be able to defend myself?" Serena countered back.

"I know you can defend yourself. I'm just saying that no one will have your back if you're alone."

"And what's so wrong with being alone? Aren't you, mister, I'll do everything myself?"

"That was back then," Heero glared at her. "Things are different now, and you know that."

"Says the guy trying to tell me I can't be self-sufficient."

"I never said that!"

"Then why do you want me to return to Earth so badly with you?"

Heero clenched his fist under the table. Serena wasn't buying into anything he was saying, and he needed to think of something that would convince her to return with him.

"I'm worried we'll lose you again if you don't come back," Heero said. Serena tilted her head, staring at him with a confused look on her face.

"We'll?" Serena asked.

"There are people that care about you, Serena. If something were to happen to you because you chose to live in Space, they would be sad again."

"You would be sad," Serena stated.

"Yes, I would be," Heero nodded.

They fell silent again. Heero hated admitting his feelings. But taking what he had learned from Relena and his new policy to a degree, Heero knew he needed to tell Serena the truth. Heero gave Serena some time before he asked her again if she wanted to return to Earth with him.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" Heero could see the fear and doubts in her eyes.

"I don't know," Serena sighed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I still feel lost. I don't know if this is the right decision."

"You're not lost. You have friends, and somewhere you belong now," he reminded her. "You just need to try. If… if you're unhappy and want to leave, we'll figure something out to keep you safe."

Serena spent a few more moments before she agreed. Heero quickly moved ahead with something he had thought about over the past few days.

Ground rules for if she returned with him.

Serena fought him on them, but Heero stood his ground on the subject. Heero had laid out his new guidelines that she would have to follow. At first, Serena had accused him of being like Doctor J. In that, he would be controlling her every move. Heero quickly banished the notion, explaining that he only wanted Serena to be safe. His fear of Edwards coming to look for her was a real possibility, and even Serena had agreed with him. Until Edwards was found and captured, her life was always at risk.

"Would you be ready to leave in a day or two?" Heero asked after they had finished discussing everything.

At least everything that needed to be discussed for the time being.

"What?" Serena's eyes went wide. "Heero, I… I don't know. I'm not ready to face everyone just yet. I-"

"I don't plan on sending you to the wolves," Heero chuckled. "But I need to get back to Earth. Une is the only one who knows I'm here. Relena thinks I'm working at Preventer's L1 headquarters, installing a new software update."

"So you lied to her," Serena's smirk said it all. "You know she's gonna kill you when she finds out."

"I can handle her."

"Sure you can," Serena laughed. Heero knew what she was implying, and he didn't like it. Especially after they agreed not to bring up the fact they both knew each other more than they cared to.

"I don't appreciate that."

"I'm sorry," Serena smiled at him. "Give me two more days?"

Two days had passed, and they were finally ready to leave L1. Doctor J had taken the extra time to run more tests to assure Serena was stable enough to depart. While her memory had returned, they had learned that there were time gaps in her memory and that there was a possibility that she wouldn't remember.

Especially those periods that were linked to the chip.

Doctor J had declared that so long as Serena didn't suffer from any short-term memory loss, her recovery on Earth would be fine. She would still need to work on regaining her strength, and the headaches she had been suffering from would likely continue for some time. Doctor J had told Heero to keep a close eye on them, and if they started to become more severe or more frequent, Heero needed to contact him. Doctor J could remotely treat Serena with the help of Sally, but if it got to be too bad, Heero would have to bring her back to L1. It was something Heero wasn't keen on. But he knew that Doctor J would be Serena's best option should any serious medical issues arise.

When it was time to leave for the Spaceport, Serena packed what little she had. Heero had promised her once they made it back to Brussels, Serena could buy anything she needed. He had already gotten a hotel room for her for at least two weeks. Heero had hoped it would be enough time for her to feel comfortable enough to return to her old life.

Whatever short amount of time it had been her life.

It would also give him and Une enough time to fabricate some documents. Serena needed a legal status, not just for basic needs but for her to be able to get a job, which Heero hoped Une would offer her. But that wasn't something that was in his control.

Heero knew Une would jump at the opportunity to have Serena join Preventers permanently and not just as a liaison. Serena had the skills the agency craved. She didn't need further training and could potentially become a Lieutenant Commander over time. It also meant they had another agent who could handle the more delicate missions and another bodyguard for Relena.

Heero only hoped if Une offered Serena a job, she'd take it. But only time would tell what Serena's ultimate decision would be.

With their stuff packed and in the trunk of the rental Heero had gotten, he was ready to leave for the Spaceport. Heero was about to get into the driver's seat when he noticed Serena looking up at the building that housed Doctor J's lab.

"Are you ready?" Heero asked cautiously. He wondered if Serena was having second thoughts.

"Yeah," she said, turning to face him. "Let's go."

A/N

Happy Chapter Nine!

As I hinted in the last chapter, and all the ones before the jump to the past here, it seems Heero and Serena know more about each other than they really should. Now the question will be, will they use this newfound information to their advantage as time goes on? Will they keep it a secret from everyone? Probably, I don't think they honestly want to share that they know that much about one another.

Anyways, it seems like Serena's okay-ish, and once again they've fallen back into arguing with each other. This shouldn't surprise anyone, they'll likely always butt heads. But one thing we can note is that Heero has a new policy, along with some ground rules we have yet to hear about. Fun times. Maybe it had something to do with Serena showing Heero her phone before Trowa and her left HQ? Wonder what other rules were set in place, or if any of them changed or will change as time goes on? Who knows!

We also learned that maybe Serena didn't fully agree to return with Heero of her own free will. Maybe she felt pressured to return... hmm. Something to think about. Nonetheless, I can assure you that Serena will make sure Heero knows that she's still pissed at him for letting Trowa be shot. It won't be all the time, but I'm sure down the road at random times she's going to play that card with him.

Now that we know what happened while Serena was gone, in next week's chapter, A New Start, we return to the present time and life will be nice and peachy... for just a little. We know shit goes down at some point, but for a while, things will be nice and bright and happy times. Yay! As always, make you read between the lines because I always sprinkle in those hints foreshadowing things.

Until next week, take care!
-MM

I don't know if anyone else is having issues with FF but I'm going to be upset if some stuff is going down. Worst case, if anyone does see this, you can always find me on AO3 too, under the same name, but instead of the - I used the _ . Hope that helps. You can also view all the ridiculous tags I used for this story, lol. My favorite is still "All the happy shit."