Chapter Twenty-Three
Birthday Weekend

Trowa had been happy all day. Serena hadn't expected them to leave for the weekend, nor did he hint at anything. He wanted everything to be a surprise. But most importantly, Trowa wanted Serena to enjoy herself and have fun with everyone.

Quatre had gotten back to Heero quickly before calling him. Quatre had been over the moon about the idea and admitted it would be nice for everyone to get together. Something they hadn't done in years. Everyone had been busy, doing things, mostly work-related. Only in passing would they see each other. Unlike Heero and Relena, they would see Quatre often for meetings, or if they were on L4, Quatre would ask them to join him and Dorothy for dinner. When it came to himself and Duo, it was rare if they had the opportunity to see Quatre. When it came to Wufei, everyone hoped he would come around more. Once in a blue moon, Wufei would join them at a bar for a drink. Or two. Something to do outside of work.

As they drove to Quatre's beach house, Trowa realized that other than having a few dinners with Heero and Relena, he hadn't spent any time with Duo and Hilde. Neither had mentioned anything about missing out on group dinners. And Duo hadn't said anything about making plans to grab drinks. It made Trowa wonder, but he quickly dismissed the thought. Duo had come to see him after Quatre confirmed he and Dorothy would be able to make it for the weekend of Serena's birthday. Duo had informed him that he and Hilde would be going and wanted to know what they could get Serena. Trowa told him that gifts weren't necessary and that the point was for everyone to get together and celebrate. Duo offered to bring some things, but what those things were, Trowa didn't know. He just hoped they weren't anything crazy.

Heero didn't need to move anything in Relena's schedule because Relena had taken it upon herself to do so once word got back to her. Heero had told him that it would likely be the last free weekend Relena would have for a while. Trowa had been grateful that plans were falling into place. Thanks to Heero. But then there was Catherine.

As soon as he had gotten off the phone with her, Cathy booked her flight. Trowa was happy that his sister could make it. But the number of phone calls and texts Trowa received from her asking question after question hadn't been as fun. Between Quatre and Cathy, he was sure they were planning something other than a weekend getaway with friends.

Trowa had to convince Quatre that they would be fine without a bunch of chefs and maids to help keep the place tidy. While staff would frequent the house to make sure everything was in order. Trowa told him to send them home and that they could take care of themselves. They could cook their meals. Or go out to dinner somewhere. They were more than capable of tidying up after themselves. Trowa had even offered to pay the cleaning staff after they left. Quatre had laughed before apologizing. Quatre was excited and couldn't wait to see everyone.

Cathy, on the other hand, had tried to find a way to take Serena's dress shopping. Something Trowa knew Serena wasn't keen on doing. Catherine had been asking Serena since she learned they were engaged when Serena wanted to start dress shopping and planning. None of which Serena cared to do. Serena had pleaded with him a few times to step in. While they may have gotten engaged quickly, Serena had told him that she wanted to wait to get married. Serena wasn't sure she wanted a wedding. Unlike Cathy, who was planning one for them.

"Why are we at Quatre's beach house?" Serena's voice broke through Trowa's thoughts. They had turned off the main road, heading down one of the coastal roads before turning into the driveway.

"How do you know this is Quatre's?" Trowa countered back as he turned to look at Serena. She was staring out the window.

"I just do. But why are we here?" Serena shook her head as she turned to look at him.

"I asked Quatre if we could spend the weekend here. Is that okay?"

"Yeah… but this house is huge, Trowa. We could've stayed in a hotel."

"Yes, but this place is free, and not to mention, it has a private beach," Trowa smirked at her as he parked their vehicle. "Why don't we go inside?"

Once inside, Serena had a feeling something was off. Trowa was a little too happy for her liking. He had been since they left their apartment. The car ride to the beach house wasn't terrible. They had idly talked before Trowa fell silent the closer they got. Serena didn't say anything, instead turning her attention to looking out the window. Something about the place was familiar. But she couldn't put her finger on it.

Serena wondered if it was just the fact Heero had been in this house before, and that was why it felt familiar. The more she thought about it, the more she became convinced it was a different reason.

She dismissed the thoughts as Trowa wrapped an arm around her shoulders, guiding her toward the living room.

"I'll show you around before we bring our bags to our room. Unless you already know the layout of the house?" Trowa asked. Serena shook her head. She didn't want to give away the fact she did know the layout.

"I don't, and that sounds good." Trowa smiled again as he urged her toward the large room off the main entrance. The smile he wore set Serena off again.

He's up to something. I just know it. Serena thought to herself.

Walking over the threshold to the living room, Serena got the answer to her questions.

As Trowa moved away from her, turning the lights on, everyone jumped out of their hiding places, yelling "surprise!"

Serena's hand automatically went to her hip where her gun should've been. Then she remembered Trowa had taken it from her after they left the restaurant. Claiming she'd be more comfortable during the drive to their destination. Before they had gotten out of the SUV, Trowa had grabbed it from the center console. And now she knew why Trowa had taken it from her.

Serena pressed her lips together, closing her eyes before plastering a smile on her.

"Well?" Duo said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Did we surprise you?"

"Enough that if I had my gun, I would have shot someone," Serena said, low enough that, hopefully, no one would hear her. But she had forgotten who she was around.

"That's why I took it from you," Trowa said behind her.

"I see why."

"Oh, c'mon, it's your birthday, Rena! You should smile at least," Duo said.

"Trowa?" Serena called out to him. "May I have my gun back now?"

"Why?" Trowa asked as he lifted his brow.

"Why would you need it?" Duo asked. "There's plenty of us who are armed."

"Then I'll use yours to shut you up." Serena smiled sweetly as her eyes tightened.

"That's not funny," Duo pouted.

"Leave her alone," Hilde said as she removed Duo's arm. "You didn't give her a moment to breathe. Happy birthday, Serena!"

"Thank you."

"Happy birthday, Serena," Quatre said as he approached. Serena smiled, thanking him.

"Yes, happy birthday. Though I didn't know someone like you would have one." Dorothy smugly smiled.

"I didn't know someone like you would care about someone like me," Serena said, returning the same smile.

"Well, that's still to be decided." Dorothy flipped some of her hair behind her.

"Dorothy," Quatre said with an edge of annoyance in his voice.

"Oh, stop," Dorothy flapped her hand at him. "You're acting like Serena, and I will get into an argument."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Serena smirked. "I'm sure we'll be fine this weekend, Quatre."

"Wait, you two don't get along?" Duo questioned. "Then why are you here, Dorothy?"

"We get along just fine," Dorothy said. "I came because how often do we get together? Not to mention we're celebrating such an exciting occasion?"

Serena watched as Quatre pressed a hand to his head as he sighed. Quatre didn't seem amused at all by Dorothy's comments.

"Happy birthday!" Relena said as she wrapped her arms around her, hugging Serena. "Don't worry about Dorothy. I'll make sure she's in line this weekend," Relena whispered before she pulled away. Serena lifted a brow but nodded.

Dorothy wasn't an issue. The only one Serena saw was that she was currently the center of attention, making her uncomfortable.

"Okay! Let me greet my future sister-in-law!" Catherine pushed past everyone. Serena hesitated as Catherine hugged her, wishing her a happy birthday before pulling Trowa into a hug as he rejoined the group after moving their bags to the staircase. "Why don't we get this party started!"

"Don't you mean to continue the festivities?" Duo laughed as he and Hilde walked off, followed by the others. Heero hung back, nodding at Trowa before he moved to stand in front of her.

"Try smiling more."

"Really?" Serena rolled her eyes. "Who's idea was this?"

"Trowa's," Heero smirked. "I just helped make it happen."

"Do I thank you? Or him?" Serena lifted a brow.

"I owe you."

"Heero-"

"Don't," Heero said, cutting her off. "Just enjoy yourself this weekend. Smile through the uncomfortable parts, but try and have fun."

"Easier said than done," Serena frowned at him. Heero eyed her, and Serena knew some sort of conversation was coming.

"You're better at pretending than I am. Other than Quatre, I'm sure you could fool people. Who knows? Maybe you'll discover that being around everyone isn't that bad."

"Why are you saying that?"

"We'll talk later," Heero said, dismissing her question. "The only thing I'm going to say for now is to stop letting him get in your head."

"How-" Serena clamped her mouth shut as Heero gave her a pointed look.

"We'll talk later," Heero repeated himself.

"You guys coming? Or are you going to stand there talking all night?" Duo yelled as he leaned out of a different room.

"Plaster that fake smile on your face. The one you use when you have to charm someone," Heero said before he turned, heading toward where Duo was.

Serena wanted to sigh, laugh, and roll her eyes all at the same time. She knew which smile Heero was referring to when he said something. What bothered her more than the smile comment was that he knew how she was feeling. But maybe Serena should've known better. He knew her past. He knew how she felt from time to time more than anyone else. While she tried to hide her inner demons, Serena wondered who else could see through them.

Deciding now wasn't the time to think about those thoughts, Serena put a smile on her face as she made her way to where Heero was standing, waiting for her to join the rest of the group.

The night was going smoothly in Heero's eyes. Minus when Duo pulled out a camera, claiming they needed to take more photos of them beginning together. Duo had taken group photos of everyone and even some more candid ones. Heero had tried to stop him, but it became clear that it was useless. Duo was going to do whatever he wanted. Serena had laughed and even commented on how Heero looked whenever Duo tried to take a photo of him.

Other than Duo being a nuisance, Heero kept an eye on everyone. He had noticed the girls drinking, but that wasn't anything new. Though Hilde always seemed to be getting up to get them more drinks. She had told them several times she didn't mind and brushed them off when anyone offered to help. Heero had dismissed any other thoughts on it. Instead, he focused on what the rest of the group was doing. Duo had been pacing himself more than Heero expected him to. Duo was the one who would drink the most and be the loudest. While the latter of the two was still occurring, Heero wondered if Hilde had said something to him earlier in the evening about watching how much he drank.

Trowa had been drinking at what Heero would consider his normal pace, especially for an occasion like this. Nothing out of the ordinary. Quatre was still an interesting sight to see. Dorothy had changed his views on some things, and it still surprised Heero when he would see Quatre drink any form of alcohol. Not to mention when Quatre drank enough, his face would redden.

"Your turn, Serena's voice pulled Heero's mind away from observing everyone.

Heero looked down at his hand of cards. They had been playing different games on and off. And now he and Serena were sitting at the table playing. Selecting a card, Heero placed it down on the pile on the table before looking at Serena.

"You're not the only one scanning the room," Serena smirked before she placed one of her cards down.

"I'm the only one who isn't as intoxicated as the rest of them," Heero tilted his head at everyone in the kitchen, where they were eating finger foods.

"Who said I was?"

"You have a good buzz going," Heero said as he played his next card. "Or you would've caught that I was supposed to pick up the pile five cards ago."

"What?" Serena looked down at the cards, moving them around. "Damnit."

"You guys gonna come eat!?" Duo yelled, even though they were all in the same room. "Or are you guys going to keep playing that weird and boring card game?"

Serena made a face before she roughly placed her cards on the table. Standing, she made her way over to the kitchen island. Heero wanted to laugh. Neither he nor Serena knew the name of the game. Doctor J had shown them how to play it. While it could be boring, it managed to pass the time. Heero thought that J had taken elements of other various card games and combined some of them to create his own. Either way, it seemed that Serena didn't want to play anymore. After putting the cards back in the box, he joined the others.

The rest of the night was spent talking and playing a few more games before everyone decided to call it a night.

Once Serena was sure that Trowa was asleep, she slipped out of bed before quietly making her way to the bedroom door. In the hallway, Serena took her time not to wake anyone as she made her way to the staircase before making her way toward the music room.

The house was dark, and Serena hadn't bothered to turn on any lights. Not until she was inside the music room with the doors shut. Glancing around, Serena spotted her notebook on top of one of the side tables. She had purposely snuck in earlier in the evening to leave it. She didn't want to search for it in hers and Trowa's room once they had gone to bed.

Sitting at the piano, Serena stared at the closed notebook. She knew she didn't need it, but she had wanted to have it just in case. Deciding to forgo looking at it, Serena moved her hands to rest on the first note. She started slowly, playing the first line of the music over and over again. It wasn't that she didn't know what the notes were, but she was trying to see if a different pace would suit it better. Once satisfied with the tempo, Serena continued to play the rest of the song, humming along.

Serena made a few mental corrections when she finished the first play-through. She could visualize every note in her head without hearing them. But Serena had learned that listening to the music itself could spark improvements.

Starting over again, Serena added words as she played. Her focus wasn't on the words she was singing themselves. But more on the flow and tone. When Serena had an idea of what and how she wanted to do things, she started from the beginning, but this time, Serena sang along with the music.

After several times playing through the whole song, Serena still wasn't satisfied with the sound of everything, and she felt her pronunciation when it came to the English words sounded off to her.

"What are you doing?" Heero's voice sounded from her right. Serena turned her head to find him standing just beyond the threshold of the doors to the music room.

"Why are you here?" Serena asked as she dropped her hands into her lap. She wondered if Heero had come to have that chat he promised earlier in the night.

"I saw you come in here earlier," Heero said as he came to stand next to her.

"Earlier?"

"When you claimed to be using the restroom," Heero smirked. "I figured you'd be here once you thought everyone was asleep." Serena frowned at him. She didn't think anyone had seen her.

"How long have you been listening?"

"Long enough," Heero said before he motioned for Serena to move. Sliding down the bench, Heero sat next to her. "Care to explain this song to me?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Who's it about?" Heero counter back.

"Do I need to answer that?" Serena asked as she turned her head away from him.

"Why are you continuing to let Edwards ruin things for you?" Serena glanced at Heero from the corner of her eye. A frown was sitting on his face. "When I told you to get back into music, I meant it as a way for you to enjoy something you used to love. But it seems it's doing the opposite."

"I didn't say I wasn't enjoying it."

"Then why are you playing a sad song like this?"

"To get it out of my head." Serena turned to look at Heero when he sighed.

"I understand that, but I feel like this is counterproductive."

"Why do you say that?"

"What's wrong?" Heero frowned at her. "Don't say 'nothing.' I know something has been bothering you for a while now. You may hide it from others, but I can see it."

Serena turned away from Heero. She wasn't sure how to explain to him how she had been feeling. One moment Serena was happy. The next… she'd question everything. It didn't help that she hadn't hidden any of it from Heero.

"I don't deserve any of this," Serena said after a moment. Lowering her head, "I don't-"

"Stop," Heero said, cutting her off. Serena felt him grab her shoulders, causing her to look up at him. "You deserve everything you have right now. Don't think for a minute that you don't. I know you're still struggling with understanding everything, but don't question if you have the right to live your life the way you are now because you do. Just like the rest of us."

"That's easier said than done."

"Tell me what you don't deserve about this?"

"What?"

"This," Heero said, motioning around them. "What about this place or the people inside that you don't deserve?" Serena stared at him. Unsure of what to say. "Do you think you don't deserve to be with Trowa?"

"I-I'm not anything-"

"You're letting your past get in your head again," Heero angrily said, cutting her off.

"It's always there," Serena said in a low voice.

"You're free to do whatever you want now."

"That's a lie. I'm not-"

"You are, but you're still letting him control you. I don't want you going down the same road I did. How many years did it take me to accept that everything I have now, I'm deserving of?"

"That's different."

"This is no different," Heero shook his head. "All these people here care for you, Serena. They all want the same things for you, even if they don't know your past."

Serena looked away again from Heero. It was another circle of battles she couldn't break. While it had been months, and she was finally moving on… Serena questioned the demons that still plagued her. More like one, until he was behind bars or dead, would always torment her.

"What would they do if they found out?" Serena asked as she looked back at Heero. "If they knew everything about me?"

"I think you're asking what if Trowa found out," Heero said. "I've told you already. He's just as forgiving as Quatre."

"I don't know."

"He wouldn't, just like the rest of them. No one would judge you, Serena."

"I'm not telling them."

"I'm not telling you to. But you need to stop living in the past. You can tell me every damn day for the rest of your life that what happened to you doesn't affect you, but it does," Heero frowned at her. "You're letting it get in the way of your happiness," Heero paused as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Live your life, Serena, the way you want to live your life and not the one dictated to you by the demons in your head."

Serena continued to stare at him. She wondered if the demons would ever go away. Would they ever stop telling her how she was supposed to live her life?

"If nothing else, at least let Trowa into this small part of you," Heero said, dropping his hand.

"Why do you care if I share this with Trowa?" Serena asked as she guested to the piano.

"Because this is something, other than him, that brings you joy," Heero said as he stood from the bench. "Don't stay up too late. We're still going for a run in the morning."

Serena watched as Heero left the music room, closing the door behind him. Serena turned back to face the piano. Collecting her notebook, Serena decided to head to bed. The urge to play had disappeared, and her desire to want to sing did as well.

Was Heero right? Was she letting the voice of a man she hated still control her actions? She didn't understand why it was so hard for her to let go. It had been over two years, almost going on three, since she had last seen him. Had he scared her so deeply that even now, she couldn't allow herself to be happy?

Frowning to herself, Trowa didn't deserve the broken version of her. Trowa deserved someone who could at least be honest and share themselves with him. But Serena knew she couldn't share certain things with him. No matter what Heero told her, Serena knew, deep down, she'd never forgive herself if Trowa ever found out about the demons that continued to haunt her.

Heero closed the door behind him. Glancing to his left, he saw Trowa standing with his arms crossed over his chest. Nodding his head for Trowa to follow him, the two headed for the stairs.

"What did you say to her?" Trowa asked.

"Nothing of importance. How long were you listening?"

"I gave her a little after she left the bedroom before coming down here." Trowa smirked, "I hid when you came down. I had a feeling that if I had walked into the music room, Serena would've stopped completely."

"Possibly. Then again, Serena didn't know I was in there until I said something to her." Heero turned his head, looking over the railing.

"What is preventing her from singing?"

Heero turned to look back at Trowa. It was clear that Trowa knew more than he was letting on, and Heero knew he couldn't ignore the question. But Heero refused to indulge the reason why Serena had stopped singing altogether.

"She's embarrassed too."

"Why would she be embarrassed? She's talented."

"Your guess is as good as mine," Heero shrugged.

"She told me that she doesn't sing in English because of how she pronounces words," Trowa smirked. "Then again, when Serena's had enough to drink, you can hear her accent come out more."

"She sang for you?" Heero's brow lifted. That was new information.

"Once. Most of the time, Serena hums. Or she's unaware of what she's doing."

"Hm," Heero nodded his head. "Maybe one day she'll overcome her fear. But for now, we should probably head back to our rooms. I don't think Serena will be in the music room much longer."

Trowa nodded his head, and it wasn't long before Heero heard the click of the door to the music room. His intuition had been correct. While he felt bad for interrupting Serena, Heero knew he needed to say something to her. He had been worried. Whenever he saw the dark shade cross Serena's face, Heero knew what was passing through her mind. Edwards's grip on her was tighter than Heero once thought. He made a mental note to keep a closer eye on Serena. He just hoped that someday, she would come out on the other side and realize what he had said was the truth. She was deserving of everything she had in her life.

A/N

Happy chapter 23!

Lots going on here, lots to note... should we make a list?

Trowa's on cloud 9.
Trowa may know more than he's letting on...
Serena can't be trusted with her firearm.
Dorothy and Serena in the same house? Think they'll be nice?
Heero knows what's up. Clearly. On a lot of things in this chapter...
Photos? Is that important? Yes, it is. *wink* (There's another important thing that was noted in this section of the chapter... you'll find out next week.)
That card game? Yeah, has no real purpose, lol. It's just a filler guys. It means nothing.
Serena sneaks off to play a song... well Heero told her to get back into music. So she did. It's a great segway into their important conversation.
Serena is still on that struggle bus.
Lastly, Trowa knows what's up, hahah. He ain't stupid. He may be on cloud 9, but he ain't stupid.

That's it! Haha. I'll see you all next week with chapter 24, which has no title because I just checked... need to fix that! Oops. Until then, take care, everyone!

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MM