"Welcome home!" the email said.

Scrolling down revealed a photograph embedded into the email. A photograph of the very room he had been staying in for the past two weeks. And underneath that was a continuation of the message:

"I knew you wouldn't be able to stay at this place too long. The rooms aren't your preferred style. Glad to see you've made it back home."

Izaya's eyes glanced towards the door. He had barricaded it with a bookshelf. It could probably be knocked over fairly easy if someone really wanted to get in, but at least he would hear the noise from anywhere in the apartment. A warning was better than nothing.

The bookshelf would have to be moved soon. He had made a call to Shiki shortly after returning home. Most of the food in his refrigerator (which was very little to begin with) had gone bad during his absence and he would need to make a trip out to the store.

After a few minutes of negotiations, Izaya was able to convince Shiki to let him borrow a few men to guard him whenever he had to leave the apartment. He did not, however, permit Izaya to station a guard at his apartment, leaving Izaya to defend himself if necessary.

A knock on the door startled Izaya. After a few seconds the shock wore off and he went to move the shelf away from the door.

Shiki's men gave him a strange look when they saw the shelf which had only been moved a short distance from the door allowing Izaya to slip outside. He chose to ignore their confusion in favor of getting his shopping over with.

…~-~...

Roughly an hour later Izaya was cursing his luck as he quickly slipped inside his apartment alone. Shiki's men were clearly not the ideal choice. They had guarded him throughout his shopping, however, half way back to his apartment they were pulled into a bit of trouble by a rival yakuza group. The altercation was enough to draw attention, meaning Izaya wanted nothing to do with it.

Gasping for breath as a result of sprinting up the stairs (he didn't want to allow the chance for Jiro to catch him in the elevator), Izaya dropped his groceries, locked the door, and pushed the bookshelf back into place. The physical exertion quickly made itself known when his legs began to cramp and pain radiated from every one of his joints. He was clearly still lacking his former strength.

Next, knife in hand, Izaya ignored the pain for a little longer in favor of performing a quick sweep of the apartment. He checked the closets, bathroom, kitchen, and even under his bed. He didn't return the knife to his pocket until he was sure he was alone.

This wouldn't do. He needed a bodyguard who wouldn't get distracted from their job like that.

With the groceries put away, Izaya decided to make himself a pot of tea-after downing a few painkillers, that is. After bringing his cup with him to the couch, Izaya stared at his phone.

Maybe he could try calling him again…

No… He already said he wouldn't. There would be no changing his mind.

But why were his instincts telling him he should try…?

Because I'm still attached to him… Izaya realized. No, I want him to be the one to guard me because he could actually do it properly… If he didn't want to kill me already.

Izaya closed his eyes.

"Fuck…" he whispered, "I still… Why do I… After everything that's happened... "

He couldn't say the words, but he felt them. He knew they were true as much as he would like to deny it.

His feelings aside, convincing Shizuo to help was becoming more and more appealing.

"Once more," he said, channeling as much confidence as he could manage while reaching for the phone, "If I still can't convince him, I won't ever try again."

Riiiinnngg… Riiiinnngg… Riiiinnngg… Riiiinnngg…

"What is it now, Flea?" Shizuo answered with a growl.

"The same as last time... " Izaya said quietly, "Shizuo, I will cut right to the chase, I need you to be my bodyguard."

"Your… what?!"

"I will pay you. Whatever you want I just-"

"I want to kill you! I almost did!"

"Right now you killing me is much less of a threat."

"Why me of all people?"

"Because I have no one else. Please, Shizuo, you don't understand I-"

"Well whose fault is that?!" Shizuo interjected once again, "You should have thought of that before making so many enemies. You probably deserve whatever this guy is gonna do to you. What did you do to him? Get his family murdered by the Yakuza?"

"You know nothing, Shizuo." The words were spoken filled with malice. Izaya felt a deep rage begin to bubble to the surface. Shizuo could insult him all he wanted and he could take it. But that struck a nerve. If Shizuo really thinks he deserved… that...

"I've changed my mind," Izaya continued, anger still present in his voice, "If that's what you think then I don't want your help."

There was a silence on the other end of the line but Izaya didn't wait for Shizuo to speak before hanging up and throwing his phone across the room. It shattered and fell to the floor with a thud.

Izaya collapsed back onto the couch and curled up on his side. His hands pulled at his hair and he bit his lip hard. He deserved that punch in the face from Simon. He may have even deserved getting stabbed in the streets by "Yodogiri". And he deserved the injuries he received from his last fight with Shizuo.

But he didn't believe he deserved the torture he had endured at Jiro's hand.

Shizuo knew nothing of what he had been through. Of who this man really is and what he is capable of doing without a speck of remorse.

The pain…

The humiliation…

It all came flooding into his mind at once. The overwhelming physical and psychological torment was more than anyone should have to bear.

His hand dropped from his hair to be placed over his hip-over a specific patch of skin that bore a permanent mark of his past… One of many…

A prickling sensation in his eyes startled Izaya for a moment. It wasn't until he removed his hand from his hip and wiped at this cheek that he realized he was crying.

Quickly wiping the tears away, Izaya forced himself to sit up on the couch. He reached for his teacup and held it close, feeling the warmth of the liquid inside. With a deep sigh, Izaya began to sip at his tea to help calm his racing heart while he stared blankly at this blurred reflection in the blank television screen.

…~-~...

"You know nothing, Shizuo."

The words echoed in his head even an hour after their conversation had ended. Something in Izaya's tone had silenced anything else Shizuo had planned to say. It was true, though. He didn't know anything about why Izaya was calling him or who he needed protection from.

Is it just another trick? Or is the situation really so bad that he is desperate enough to come to me for help?

Either way it seemed like he wouldn't be hearing from Izaya again any time soon.