Uhh... Hi.

It's been a while.

But I'm here! And I am still writing this fic! Erm... well I haven't actually written in a while... but I still have plans to keep writing! Sorry this took ridiculously long to post but I am going to try to write more. One big reason for not writing is that I started reading a web serial called "Worm" and I HIGHLY recommend this story to just about anyone. It's about superheros but not really the typical hero story and even someone like me who isn't interested in superhero stories is hooked. The best part is its complete and long. Very long. So if you are looking for something to read while passing the time, just google "Worm web serial" and it should be the first result.

Anyway, I will try to write more to get myself out of this horrible writers block. As soon as this is posted I plan to go back and create a plot diagram of sorts to organize what has happened, what is currently happening, and what I want to happen in the future. I think having that solid outline and an ending in mind will help focus me a bit more. Here's to hoping the next chapter won't take another 6 months!

…~-~...

How did this happen? Izaya couldn't help but wonder as his heart continued to pound as if he'd run a marathon. He could hear the rushing of blood in his ears, leaving him slightly disoriented.

Every sense was on high alert, well aware of the danger so close to him.

It was an unfamiliar type of fear that sent adrenaline pounding through his system, his body screaming at him to run, but he was frozen on the spot.

"You gonna eat your dinner or just stare at it, Flea?"

His heart pounded faster as he attempted to think of a response to such a confusing question. Instead of a reply, he leapt to his feet and muttered "I'll be right back," and dashed off to the bathroom.

The sensation of cool water on his face and neck brought him back as it always did. Izaya let out a long sigh as he began to come down from a seemingly unprompted panic.

All they were doing was having dinner and watching some stupid movie on television. He wasn't in danger, yet his instincts were attempting to make him believe he was.

How could this be happening? Izaya wondered again. How could Shizuo just sit there, calmly eating dinner next to the man he had been trying to kill-and almost succeeded-for nearly a decade?!

Izaya could feel his nearly-healed arms ache slightly at the thought.

Shizuo clearly had nothing to fear. He clearly didn't consider Izaya a threat. And Izaya wasn't sure whether he should be thankful for that or if he should take offense.

What could he be thinking? Why is he… trying to help?

A sudden knock on the door startled Izaya out of his thoughts.

"Izaya?" Shizuo questioned, "It's been ten minutes. You okay?"

Ten minutes? Had it really been that long already…?

Apparently he took too long to reply. It felt like seconds for Izaya, however, after a full minute of silence, Shizuo had gotten concerned.

The door swung open and Izaya didn't have time to compose himself. His face was still wet and he was tightly gripping the edges of the sink. He had no idea what expression was on his face, but it apparently wasn't normal. Shizuo took one look at him before concern spread over his face. Izaya couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He merely waited for Shizuo to initiate.

When Shizuo moved, Izaya watched intently. With a sigh, he reached behind Izaya and grabbed a towel. Izaya resisted flinching when Shizuo placed the towel around the back of his neck. His concern likely showed on his face for a moment prompting Shizuo to feel the need to reassure him.

"Your face is wet. I'm just drying you off," he mumbled. Once he was done, he left the towel draped over Izaya's shoulders. "There," he reached behind Izaya and gave him a small push towards the door. "Let's go finish dinner, okay?"

Izaya nodded, embarrassed at being treated like a child, yet strangely not hating it enough to argue.

"Eat," Shizuo said, handing Izaya his dinner of Chinese takeout. Shizuo had suggested the meal, remembering a place in Shinjuku which he had apparently found delicious. However what he didn't know was that this particular place was a favorite of Izaya's as well.

Finally taking a bite of his meal brought a wave of calm over Izaya. As if this was just a regular night at home. Except instead of Namie's cold presence his company instead gave off a warmer, almost soothing vibe.

He released a deep breath, allowing himself to relax a little, if only for now. Because for now, he was safe. For now, he could feel comfortable in his own home.

A few more bites and his appetite finally kicked in. He devoured his dinner as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. When he was finished he leaned back to try to enjoy the movie playing on the television through heavy eyelids. Soon he lost track of what was happening as he began to drift off, only slightly aware that his every move was being watched by the man sitting next to him.

…~-~...

When Izaya finally began to eat Shizuo had to hold back his sigh of relief.

He couldn't deny how strange it felt to be sitting calmly next to the man he had nearly killed a few months ago, let alone be eating dinner and watching a movie with him.

Then it hit him. Oh god, this feels like a… like a date or something…?

No, this was nothing of the sort. It was his job. He was working as a bodyguard and had made the decision to keep him alive by getting him to eat properly. That was it.

...Wasn't it?

Why didn't it feel that way…?

Shizuo glanced over at Izaya again to find that he was almost finished with his meal. Something told him that seeing Izaya begin to act normal again was all that mattered. For some reason, this something in him spoke louder than his uncertainties. His instincts have never been wrong before, so maybe… somehow… for some crazy reason, things were meant to be like this right now.

Izaya wasn't as difficult to be around lately, and tonight, he was almost happy to be spending the night here as his bodyguard.

Shizuo was slightly startled by the sudden weight that fell against his shoulder. Izaya was there, fast asleep, likely unaware that he was leaning against him. Shizuo shifted to wake him but hesitated for a moment. Izaya was close enough for Shizuo to see the details in his face. He studied it for a moment, noticing the darkness under his eyes, and the now peaceful expression he wore. He thought about the expression he had seen on Izaya in the bathroom. It was similar to how he had looked that night he accepted the position of bodyguard. Just before Izaya had collapsed.

He was having some sort of panic attack. Shizuo recognized the symptoms from when he was a child. Realizing that he just tried to throw the refrigerator at his brother, and noticing that the fridge was now on top of him was enough of a reason to freak out a bit. Granted everyone experiences those things differently, he knew what was happening to Izaya both on that night, and just now.

It was difficult to see such a typically calm and in control person begin to slip like this. Yet Shizuo felt that, in some way, he could understand what was dragging Izaya into this state. Just as it was strange to be sitting next to the man he nearly killed, Izaya was sitting next to the one who had nearly killed him. On top of that, he didn't seem to be fully healed from that fight. And to add more to the list a psychopathic monster of a person was terrorizing him at every moment.

Shizuo could feel a surge of empathy so intense that he couldn't bring himself to wake Izaya. He was sleeping and from the look on his face, it was a peaceful sleep.

…~-~...

"Hey, Shizu-chan," Izaya whispered, lightly shaking Shizuo's shoulder, "Wake up."

Izaya had woken to find himself leaning against Shizuo. He wasn't sure when it happened, but it seemed that it might have happened after Shizuo had also fallen asleep, otherwise he couldn't imagine the other man letting him use his shoulder like that.

"H-whuha?" Shizuo mumbled as he awoke.

Izaya's chest fluttered a bit, trying not to admit that seeing Shizuo wake up so confused was actually cute.

"I'm uh… going upstairs to bed," he explained, "Here's a spare blanket for you, if you don't mind sleeping here."

"S'fine," Shizuo replied, taking the blanket, "thanks."

Izaya nodded in response and headed up the stairs. Reaching the top, he looked over the ledge to see Shizuo already passed out again.

"No, thank you, Shizu-chan…" he whispered as he turned and went off to bed.

…~-~...

"You sure you're gonna be okay, Izaya?" Shizuo asked over breakfast.

Shizuo was leaving for work soon and was weary about leaving Izaya alone after last night's camera debacle.

Neither of them had mentioned the events of last night despite everything being so fresh in their minds. It didn't feel like something that needed to be discussed at the moment with much more pressing matters at hand.

That bastard could just show up while I'm gone. Who knows what damage he could do before I can get here…

"I don't plan to leave the building today," Izaya responded, "I'll keep the door barricaded. Besides, I have a gun, remember?"

The hesitation in his voice wasn't obvious, however Shizuo could detect that Izaya was uncertain. "Maybe you should give Shinra a call. Stay with him and Celty for a bit. You'd at least be safe with her around."

"Yeah," Izaya said while staring at his food. He nudged at it with his chopsticks, not seeming to be eating much once again this morning. "Maybe I'll give him a call later. I'll be fine for now."

That answer wasn't what he had hoped to hear, but remembering that Izaya was packing more than just his knife now made him feel slightly better about leaving for a couple hours.

"Fine," he said, cleaning up his plate, "I'll stop by around lunch time to make sure everything is okay. Sound good to you?"

Izaya nodded, sipping his tea silently. "See you later," he said when he finished.

…~-~...

Time seemed to be moving slower than usual today. Every debtor he and Tom confronted grated on his nerves increasingly more as well. Tom could tell something was off with his friend and employee, yet wasn't sure how to ask. He had been acting strange ever since that debtor had paid in full and given him a strange envelope.

Deciding to try and ease into the topic, Tom asked what he hoped was a safe question: "So, Shizuo, anything new lately?"

Shizuo only shrugged in response. It seemed he wasn't in a talking mood today and Tom knew there was no changing that. Looks like he wasn't going to get any information from him today.

They approached the next stop for the day, Tom took the lead as always in knocking on the door and explaining who he and Shizuo were and why they were there, but this man didn't seem phased by the less than intimidating men on his doorstep. He was a fairly large man, slightly balding despite the rest of him looking to be younger than forty.

"Yeah, yeah, I know what you're here for," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. "Here's how it's gon' go. I give ya some now, and some later, and some even later. I gotta have a bit for myself, ya know? So why don't you and glasses there take this and leave for now unless ya lookin' for a fight."

Tom was shocked at the least. It wasn't often that he was given this type of ultimatum with Shizuo present, and even less often did he come across someone who clearly didn't even know who Shizuo was.

"Uhh, well you see we don't have a layaway program here. The terms you agreed to stated you'd pay your fee in one payment and I'm not allowed to-"

"Hey wait a minute," the man interrupted. "I 'member where I heard your names before. Ain't' ya part of that trio with the hot blonde chick?"

Tom wanted to respond quickly enough to stop this idiot from getting himself killed, however he could already feel the fury radiating off of Shizuo.

"Yeah, ya are, ain't ya? Where's she? Those foreign chicks sure are somethin' huh? Ah, but any hot girl will do really. Just get 'em drunk at the bar, maybe slip somethin' else in if ya know what I mean and they're all yours-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGGGHHHH"

Tom watched as the man flew into the sky and smacked down about ten meters away. Luckily Tom had long since stepped out of danger's way knowing there was no way to save this unfortunate man. Glancing down, Tom noticed his wallet had dropped from his hands when he had been hit. As he attempted to steer an enraged Shizuo away from the scene, he quickly grabbed the wallet, retrieved what they had come to collect, and fled the scene.

Once they were a safe distance away and Shizuo had calmed down, Tom finally decided to open up conversation once more.

"You miss Varona, don't you Shizuo?" he asked.

Shizuo shrugged, his hand moving to rub the back of his neck. "Yeah, well… I guess so a little… She was my Kouhai after all," he began, pulling his phone from his pocket to check for any messages. "But it wasn't just that... People who think they can do that to other people are disgusting and don't deserve to live."

Tom nodded. "No arguments there," he said with a sigh. "You wanna stop for lunch?" he added to change the subject.

"Actually," Shizuo began, "I have to… go meet a friend for a bit. Can I meet up with you again in an hour?"