Dang, it was only one month to wait this time! Trying my best to crank this thing out. Thank you all so much for sticking with me!
…~-~...
Izaya woke suddenly, startled awake by a dream. For a moment, he could still feel the phantom sensation of hands on his body. They were rough, but not rough in a painful sense. Rough in that there was a hint of power behind those hands. They way they had latched onto his hips, preventing him from moving, rough in the way they pushed him against the wall, followed by the sensation of a warm tongue licking and kissing just under his jaw bone-just where he liked it. Perhaps rough was the wrong word. It was passionate. Overwhelmingly passionate making his heart race with excitement, and his-
It was the moment when things began heating up that woke him. He sat up straight suddenly realizing it had been a dream, yet he could still feel all of it as if it had been real. It then hit him that he wasn't in his bedroom. He was on the couch, facing the television and to his right was-Shizuo. Asleep, sitting upright on the couch. It was then that Izaya realized he had been leaning to the right while he slept… leaning against Shizuo.
The man was still asleep. He hadn't moved an inch since Izaya's startled awakening. It gave Izaya a moment to calm down and, to his horror, realize that he was hard.
Deep breaths, Izaya, he thought to himself.
It took a couple minutes for his body to calm down again, still feeling the high of pleasure from his dream. Of course, it didn't help that the star of his dream happened to be right next to him. Once he was calm again, he turned back to his bodyguard.
"Shizu-chan," Izaya said, lightly shaking his shoulder.
Shizuo grumbled in response, opening his eyes to look at Izaya. "What, what's wrong?" He mumbled, his voice groggy.
"I'm gonna go to bed," he began, getting up from the couch, "You can stay here if you're too tired to go home tonight."
"Okay," he replied with a yawn. He didn't seem to realize who he was talking to.
Izaya picked up the remote to turn off the television while Shizuo made himself comfortable on the couch and was asleep again in seconds. Izaya stared at him for a moment, taking in the way the lights from the window lit up his face is a way that softened his features. Shizuo wasn't threatening at all when he slept. In fact, Izaya could picture him cuddling a teddy bear with a child-like innocence. A stark contrast to how everyone else knew the fortissimo of Ikebukuro. When he thought about it, there were probably very few who have seen Shizuo sleep like this. Izaya took in the sight for a moment longer, finally taking his gaze away to drape a blanket over his bodyguard.
"Goodnight, Shizu-chan," he whispered before turning to head upstairs where his own bed awaited.
…~-~...
"Oh, wait, go back! I like that movie!" Izaya said, reaching for the remote in Shizuo's hand.
"Really? I didn't think you liked that old martial arts stuff," Shizuo replied, flipping the channel back. He had initially skipped over one of his favorite movies thinking Izaya would complain about the acting or the lack of a deep plotline.
"But this one is good. The fighting is actually convincing and the camera doesn't cut away every time someone throws a punch."
"Well, yeah, but…"
"What?"
"I just thought you'd like more thought provoking kind of movies. Stuff with conspiracies and plot twists that makes you think."
"Those are good too, but sometimes it's nice to switch off that analytical part of my brain for a bit and just watch someone get punched in the face instead."
It went against what he imagined Izaya would find entertaining in movies, but Shizuo smiled, slightly relieved they could agree. "Yeah, I like this one too."
...~Earlier that morning~...
Shizuo woke up alone on Izaya's couch. He had a vague recollection of Izaya telling him he was going to bed, but he wasn't entirely sure if that had been a dream or not. Luckily he had remembered to turn on his phone's alarm before he fell alseep, otherwise he would have been late for work.
Pausing for a moment, he looked up at the upstairs landing of the loft.
It felt taboo to even consider it, but he wanted to check on Izaya before he left. Taking care to be as silent as possible, Shizuo climbed the stairs finding the bedroom rather quickly. There were only 2 rooms on the upper level, one with the door open a crack which turned out to be a second bathroom, even nicer than the other one downstairs. A pang of jealousy hit when he thought about his own apartment's tiny bathroom, but then he remembered some of Izaya's wealth came from not so legal means.
The opposite room with the door closed he assumed the be the bedroom. Torn between being polite and knocking versus not waking Izaya if he was sleeping, Shizuo finally decided on the latter, taking a moment to listen for any signs of movement through the door.
When he heard nothing, he slowly and carefully opened the door enough to poke his head through. The room was mostly dark, but the small amount of light from the window fell across the bed, illuminating a figure covered in blankets.
With the utmost care, Shizuo entered the room and headed towards Izaya. Once he was close enough to see Izaya's face, he shifted positions. Shizuo stepped back, holding his breath as Izaya turned, however he was still in a deep sleep.
Not wanting to push his luck, Shizuo turned, about to leave when he heard a small sound come from Izaya's direction. Turning back around, he was sure he had been caught.
But he was wrong.
Izaya was sleeping. He was mumbling something, his brow furrowed as he curled up into himself. Another grumble and sudden movement in his sleep turned into a light shivering.
"N-no…"
This time it was distinct. He was sure that's what Izaya had said. Izaya turned again and Shizuo could see his face clearly in pain, yet still asleep.
He's… having a nightmare…? Shizuo wondered. It was the only explanation. About what was the question. It seemed too intense to be a typical nightmare, meaning he was probably dreaming about… That guy. Or another time he was badly hurt... Maybe even… Their last fight. The one where he left Izaya with two broken arms, a stab wound, and various other injuries he wasn't even entirely sure about.
Shizuo felt a sting of guilt that Izaya, the person who had never been afraid of his strength before, might be having a nightmare about him.
Should he wake him? Or would that just make things worse? Still it felt wrong to leave him suffering at the hands of his own imagination.
It would be better to leave him. Shizuo decided. He wouldn't want me to see this.
And so, with a pit in his stomach, Shizuo left the room as silently as he had entered, being sure to softly close the door behind him.
"See you later, Flea," he whispered.
…~Three Days Later~...
"Shizu-chan," Izaya began, pausing the movie they had been watching to pass the time. His tone was different than usual. He sounded hesitant; questioning whether or not he should continue speaking.
"Yeah?" Shizuo responded only to fill the unsettling silence that had fallen over them.
"Do you still want to kill me?"
Shizuo turned to face Izaya, trying to judge what he might be thinking. What brought this on? Why did he suddenly have to ask a question like that? What thoughts could possibly be going on in Izaya's head while they were just supposed to be watching a movie?
"I'm going to take the lack of response as a 'yes'," Izaya said, sounding more confident than he should in their current situation.
"N-no, that's not-" Shizuo paused, trying to think while Izaya gave him a questioning look, "I was just trying to understand-what brought this on?!"
"Answer my question first. It's only fair."
"Would you just-" Shizuo sighed, "Fine, it's just that… I can't say 'yes' or 'no'... It's not like I ever really wanted to kill you-"
"Sure seemed like it," Izaya interrupted.
"It's more complicated than that, that's all I am trying to say!" he exclaimed, causing Izaya to narrow his eyes in suspicion. "Listen, yeah, when I'm pissed I do things I regret. I also think some things I regret too."
Izaya didn't say anything but gave him a look that said 'go on'.
"There have been times where I one-hundred-percent wanted to kill you because you did something completely fucked up and in the moment I felt like that's what you deserved. But if I got the time to think about it… I knew that if I killed you, you would just die happy knowing you fucked up my life by making me a murderer. I would let you go because believe it or not, once I calmed down I knew you only provoked me so you could laugh and call me a monster. Our last fight confirmed that for me and by the end of it I just wanted you out of town, not dead. I guess I always wished that I could just beat you up to the point that you would just learn your lesson and stop being an asshole."
Izaya considered this for a moment. "That doesn't sound like you. Just the other day you were mumbling to yourself about killing someone."
"Because I'm practically a different person when I'm angry. I can't always control myself" Shizuo explained. "Besides, the only people who ever piss me off that bad are shitty people to begin with-and before you start some shit," he added suddenly when he saw Izaya about to interject, "I know I don't get to decide which people are shitty or not, I meant it as my opinion.
"All I'm trying to say is that I guess I just talk big but there are very few people if any that I'd be able to actually kill."
"And I'm not one of them? I thought for sure I'd be at the top of your hit list. Then tell me, who would you kill?"
"Hitler."
"Hitler is already dead."
"Yeah but if he wasn't I'd kill him."
There was a moment of silence before they both broke out in laughter.
"But seriously," Shizuo continued, "I don't want to kill people who piss me off. I just want them to stop, and when I'm… like that, I don't really think. Do you get what I mean?"
"I think so," Izaya said, and smiled. Not a smirk, not that usual shit-eating grin he got when he was scheming. Similar to the glimpse he had seen the other night when he had forced him to take the night off.
A smile. Soft, genuine, and the most human expression he'd ever seen on Izaya's face. And it was infectious. Shizuo found himself smiling back, nearly forgetting that Izaya still owed him an explanation.
"It's your turn," he said, "What brought this on?"
Izaya shrugged, smile fading. "I was just thinking a lot, I guess. About why you were here and how strange it is to be in the same room as you without one of us starting something. It just made me think too much."
"So turn it off for tonight."
"What?"
"And I will too," Shizuo added, "I won't be me and you won't be you. We are just two guys sitting on a couch and watching a movie. Forget the complicated shit for now, we can deal with it later."
"Are you suggesting we act like friends?"
"Why not? We have no reason to be mad at each other right now. You aren't making some evil plan to piss me off, and you need me around for the moment as a bodyguard so let's not overthink things."
What am I saying? Shizuo thought, This doesn't sound like me at all, but it feels right to say.
Izaya smiled again and Shizuo's heart skipped a beat.
I think… I'm starting to like Izaya…
…~_~...
Oh shit fam here we go