I'm here hello! I re-wrote the events of this chapter a few times so it took a while to decide what exactly I wanted to happen here. Sorry if it's a little disjointed as a result I just want to post it so I can stop dwelling on it an move on.
So here it is, finally!
…~-~...
Izaya had been having a perfectly normal day. At least, normal since he started staying at Shizuo's apartment. For a split second Izaya considered how astonishing it was that a normal day could shift to nightmare territory with something as simple as a text message.
The message was simple, nothing more than a photo. Yet the implications behind the photo made Izaya's hands begin to shake as he dialed Shizuo's number. His heart pounded as he listened to it ring, waiting to hear Shizuo answer.
"What's wrong?" Shizuo got right to the point.
They usually communicated through text during the day, saving calls for urgent matters. This was one of those urgent cases.
"He's near you. Possibly still following you. Maybe. It could be red herring and he's looking to find me. I don't know for sure but I need you to be sure you aren't being followed home because-hang on"
Izaya's other phone lit up with another message from Jiro. Not even a minute ago he had received the concerning photo that demanded his immediate attention and investigation: A picture of two unmistakable men, oblivious to the camera that had taken their picture. The focus was on the tall blonde man in a bartender uniform, the other a tan man with dreadlocks wearing a suit.
While talking to Shizuo, a new message came through after the photo:
"It's okay, I already know you're staying with him."
"Fuck!" Izaya swore, gripping the phone harder.
"Flea? I need you start making sense. Calm down and tell me what you need me to do." Shizuo's voice was the only thing holding him together, but it was enough. Best to keep explanations to the point.
"He knows I'm here and he knows you aren't home."
"I'm on my way. Just finished work anyway. Stay on the phone with me." Shizuo sounded nervous, but he was able to remain firm enough to help Izaya focus.
"I don't know if this is a scare tactic or if he's going to make a move. I need you to be vigilant in case his plan is to go after you first. All he said was he knows I'm staying with you. That doesn't necessarily mean he knows where your apartment is but I'm going to assume he could figure that out if he hasn't already-Damn it! I think he's calling me…"
"Don't answer," Shizuo said.
"No, I can't miss out on any new information. Let me call you back." Izaya hung up without waiting for a response. With a deep breath he answered the call.
"What do you want?" he asked firmly, his voice showing anger rather than fear.
"My, my, hostile aren't we?"
Izaya wanted to throw up just listening to his voice, but he managed to keep it together for now. "Just talk. I know how you like to do that."
"I could say the same for you, pet. With that tongue of yours. I miss it."
Swallowing, Izaya barely managed to suppress a shudder.
"But I'll keep this call short. It really was smart of you to ally yourself with Heiwajima. It certainly makes things more difficult on my end. But just know, even with him you are not safe. You will be returning to me."
"..."
"Ah, I love it when you're silent. I wish I could see the look on your beautiful face."
"Are you done?" Izaya spat.
"For now I suppose. Just remember what I told you. Oh, and I do hope you haven't fucked him. I'd really not like you to be ruined by him, he could do some serious damage. I heard that he almost killed you some months ago. Do you get a thrill off of putting yourself in danger? I could, of course, help you with that. Or maybe being with me is what caused it? There's probably some strange psychological condition at work. I can't wait to get the chance to try some new things. Of course I'll have to find a solution to the problem of Heiwajima being between us."
Izaya's grip on his phone tightened.
"I wonder what the best way to kill him might be? Poison maybe? Suffocation through some means? Containing him is the biggest hurdle but-"
"I'm going to go ahead and say this conversation is over," Izaya interrupted, his anger giving him confidence. "If you make a move to harm Shizuo I will make sure you regret it."
"Oh? Is that a threat?"
"Was it not obvious enough?" Izaya stood as he spoke as if he were having this conversation in person. "Yes, it's a threat. One you wouldn't discredit if you were at all smart. It's been seven years. I may still be Orihara Izaya, but I am not the Orihara Izaya you knew. I did nearly manage to kill him myself but very few people know the details. Maybe I'll try the same method with you. I'm certain it would be successful as the only reason it didn't work on him was because he was able to break through concrete with his bare hands. You, on the other hand, would suffer. Now back down before I feel the need to hurt you."
Silence.
"I'll take all of that into consideration," Jiro replied, "See you soon."
Izaya dropped the phone onto the couch as the call ended. His heart was still racing, but it wasn't because he was afraid. Everything around him was a blur as the tension he was experiencing came to a breaking point. The rushing sound in his ears, the shaking of his hands, the sensation he might explode if he didn't release the anger building inside. He'd only felt like this a few times in his life, but never to this intensity.
A sharp sound of something breaking snapped him back to where he was standing as well as the sensation of something that might be pain. Everything was beginning to come back into focus.
His knuckles were bleeding, he dazedly realized. A feeling that he could now confirm as pain shot down his injured wrist, through his arm, and into his shoulder before his thoughts finally collected back together. That sensation building up had been released and the result was his fist embedded into the wall.
Blood began seeping into the bandages on his hand. He dropped his arm to his side, finding it difficult to care that he'd probably re-injured his wrist.
The sound of his phone ringing startled him out of the trance-like state he was in. Picking up the phone with his uninjured hand, Izaya answered the familiar number.
"Shizu-chan,"
"What happened, are you okay?" Shizuo asked, sounding out of breath.
"I don't think I can answer that question yet," he replied, staring at the hole he'd made in the wall.
"Are you safe?" He was still panting as he spoke. He'd probably been running, even faster now given Izaya's unclear response.
"Even with him you are not safe."
"No. I mean, for now I think I am. But in general, no."
"I'm almost to the door, just wait for me."
"Yeah,"
A few seconds later Izaya heard the sound of a key in the lock and the door swung open. Izaya tossed the phone back on the couch but didn't stop staring at the wall. When Shizuo wrapped his arms around him, Izaya offered no resistance.
"I thought I was the one who was supposed to cause the property damage," Shizuo murmured.
"Sorry," Izaya replied, his voice muffled by Shizuo's shoulder.
"No, it's fine," Shizuo pulled away, reaching for Izaya's hand. Izaya winced when it was moved, the pain rushing back to demand his attention. "I don't care about the wall, let's just take care of this, okay?"
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," he replied, allowing Shizuo to lead him back to the couch to sit.
"We…" Shizuo hesitated, "We do have time to do this, right? No... imminent danger?"
"No, nothing for now."
"Okay," Shizuo let out a sigh of relief, "we can talk about what happened later, right?."
Izaya only nodded in response.
It took a few seconds for Shizuo to gather medical supplies. When he returned he set them on the floor, kneeling in front of Izaya to unwrap the bandage on his wrist. With great care, Shizuo wiped away the blood to get a better look at the injury. Izaya's eyes were fixed on his every move.
It hurt, but he didn't care. Shizuo kept glancing up at him as if to confirm he wasn't making the pain worse, briefly making eye contact every time. Once the injury was clean-just a few small cuts, determining additional damage to his wrist would wait-Shizuo began bandaging the bloodied areas. Izaya winced when it came time to wrap his wrist. It didn't feel worse than the original injury but he'd definitely reversed any progress he'd made in its recovery.
"Is it too tight?" Shizuo asked as he finished.
Izaya shook his head. "You're weirdly good at that."
"Yeah well… I've had injuries like this all my life. After enough times you sort of learn how to do it yourself."
Izaya smiled. "Makes sense. Thanks." He brought his arm closer to his body, twisting it to test how far he could go before it hurt.
While he was fixated on his hand, Shizuo cleaned up the mess. It had only felt like ten seconds to him but when Shizuo came back over to the couch he handed Izaya a mug of tea and an ice pack for his hand. Clearly he'd been zoned out for more than ten seconds.
Plopping down next to him, Shizuo slipped an arm around Izaya's waist. Izaya leaned closer, sipping at the tea in his left hand while his right sat in his lap with the ice pack over it. The position didn't last as the ice pack didn't seem to want to stay where it needed to be without is other hand to hold it in place. It wasn't long before Shizuo picked up on this.
"Here, let me," he said, moving his arm so that he could hold Izaya's wrist with one hand and the ice pack with the other.
Izaya leaned closer, resting his head on Shizuo's shoulder. "Thanks," he said, taking another sip of tea.
Shizuo nodded and the hand holding Izaya's wrist moved. In one motion he slipped his hand under Izaya's and intertwined their fingers, holding the ice pack over Izaya's hand as if it could hide the gesture.
For now, Izaya chose to ignore that anything was different. It wasn't worth trying to pull away. But in doing so he also had to ignore the voice in his head that was screaming at him, telling him not to let this happen. That this was dangerous.
No, he's the one who did this, Izaya thought. He has to know what he's doing.
But wasn't that more of a reason to make this stop?
No. I want this. Maybe it's a little selfish but...
It was then that Izaya noticed Shizuo was staring at him. Their eyes locked as Izaya lifted his head to meet his gaze.
Oh, hell…
Their faces were mere centimeters apart. Too close, in Izaya's opinion. Yet he couldn't bring himself to move away. His eyes were almost hypnotizing. Begging him to be the one to make the first move. To start them down the path to territory they should never be allowed to enter.
Was he getting closer? Or was Izaya just imagining it?
He was imagining it. Shizuo wouldn't do it. He wouldn't be the type make such a bold move out of the blue. It would be left up to Izaya to decide whether or not to allow them to move forward.
His lips were so close. It would take almost no effort to…
No!
Izaya pulled back, slipping his hand out of Shizuo's grip.
"I think… I think I should sleep out here tonight," Izaya said with a small voice.
Shizuo looked dejected. "If you want to…" he replied. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Until then let's just order something for dinner then?" he suggested.
"I'm not very hungry." Izaya said
"Something small then? I could probably get Simon to deliver. I'll order you some ootoro."
Of course he remembers when I said I liked ootoro… Izaya thought. "That'd be fine."
Shizuo smiled and Izaya looked away. If he wasn't careful he might say or do something incredibly stupid.
While Shizuo ordered dinner, Izaya curled up into the corner of the couch and closed his eyes. He felt much calmer now that Shizuo was home despite Jiro's threats. However his own threat lingered in his thoughts. He felt like he should worry that threatening Jiro likely made the man see it as a challenge, but he couldn't bring himself to regret a word he'd said.
The direct mention of bringing harm to Shizuo had awoken something in him. Something that reminded him that he indeed wasn't a child out of high school anymore. He had grown quite a bit as a result of his experience as an informant and just because his past was coming back to haunt him didn't mean he had to let it.
He'd survived countless fights Shizuo all these years. He'd survived his past experience with Jiro. Survived being stabbed on the street. Survived being knocked out of a building by a steel beam, having both his arms broken and shoulder dislocated and stabbed again all at once.
Why should this man scare him at all anymore?
"I'm going to kill him," Izaya whispered.
"Izaya."
Izaya's head snapped up at the sound of Shizuo's voice. He was looking at him with a deeply concerned look. That look made him realize what he'd just said out loud.
"There… has to be another way to deal with this," he stated, taking a seat next to Izaya.
"No, I'm going to kill him," Izaya repeated.
"Stop," Shizuo said, "I don't like hearing you talk like that."
"You do it all the time," Izaya pointed out.
"Yes but… It didn't sound right coming from you… It sounds too much like you mean it. You said yourself you are capable of taking care of things through other means."
"He doesn't deserve to be shown mercy."
"Maybe he doesn't but... You told me you've never killed anyone. Do you really want to become a murderer over him?"
"Just this once I think I could."
Shizuo fell silent.
After a few seconds he spoke again. "What brought this attitude on? What did he say to you?"
"He… threatened to kill you."
"... Could he?"
"Probably not. But I didn't appreciate the threat. I made sure he understood that, and I want to follow through."
"So you threatened him back is what you're saying?"
"He made me angry."
"I can see that," Shizuo glanced at the hole in the wall. "Take some time to think. If… If that's really the only way you see to handle this I guess I'll… have to trust your judgement."
"Fine. I'll try to work out another way but if he hurts you he's dead."
"Why?"
"Huh?"
"Why does it matter so much if he tries to hurt me?"
Izaya turned away quickly, staring at the floor. He was saying too much. "Because you've been helping me… And I'm grateful for that."
"Oh. Right." Shizuo said sounding disappointed, "I guess that's a good enough reason."
Izaya drew his knees up to his chest. Shizuo didn't believe his answer but he wasn't pushing it. Thankfully a knock at the door interrupted their awkward silence. Shizuo got up, greeting Simon as he opened the door. There was a brief exchange between the two before Simon noticed Izaya's presence.
"Izaya!" he announced, "Glad to see you are well and no fighting! Share sushi and be friends!"
"Will do, Simon," Izaya answered.
"I don't know why you are here with him," Simon switched into Russian as he spoke to Izaya. "But I hope you are not planning anything bad. It has been peaceful around here lately and he has been doing well."
"I don't know if you will believe me," Izaya responded in Russian, "but for once I have no intention to harm him. He is helping me with something important and as thanks I won't cause him any grief anymore."
"I will not pry, but I hope you are telling the truth. He is a good person and you might learn something from him."
"Thanks Simon," Izaya replied in Japanese, "There's no need to worry about me."
Shizuo glanced back and forth between the pair, obviously very confused.
"Wonderful" Simon replied back in Japanese as well, "Enjoy your meal! Sushi makes you happy!"
"You speak Russian?" Shizuo asked after Simon was gone.
"I do, yes."
"What did he say? What did you say?"
"He was just concerned about why I was here. I just told him you were helping me."
"Ah, okay," Shizuo handed Izaya the box containing his ootoro. "How many languages do you speak?"
"Russian and English are the only two foreign languages I am fluent in but I know a bit of about six languages. Not a ton, but enough for a simple conversation."
"Six? Shit, how do you even fit that much in your head?"
Izaya shrugged as he flipped open the box containing his dinner. "Practice."
Shizuo let out a chuckle. "Right… I almost forgot you're basically a fucking genius."
"Hmm? Is that a compliment?"
"Yeah, maybe it is. What are you gonna do about it?"
Izaya smiled, taking a bite of his ootoro. It was divine. "I'll take it. It's well deserved."
"You're a piece of shit, you know that?" Shizuo said with a grin.
"Yeah," he replied, taking another bite. "I know."