[Hikigaya Hachiman, 26th May, 0900 hours]

In order to beat a person at their own game and make them beg for mercy, you must aim for a frontal attack and take them by surprise by succeeding. That is, by attacking the area they take pride in the most.

For Yukinoshita, this area was her in-depth analysis and trust of the Group F students. If I wanted to make life difficult for the Service Club, I would need to utilise someone from the bottom of the social ladder. However, Group F students were already suffering the burden of being at the bottom and hence had little incentive to cooperate with anyone who called the shots concerning Sobu High's system. (Naturally, this was one of the key reasons for Yukinoshita's trust in them.) Bribing them with a promotion wouldn't do either; Yukinoshita's suspicions would definitely be raised if all the people who got involved with the Service Club mysteriously managed to rise up the ranks right afterward.

'Little' incentive doesn't exactly equate to 'None', though.

My search for the individual who would give the Service Club the hardest time possible had finally borne fruit. Group F students were generally battle-hardened and tough enough to disregard any social incentive, but after studying this particular individual for a week, I had decided that he was a cut below the rest. My target was at the library as usual, wearing a trench coat and goggles for reasons unknown. I approached him.

"Do I have the pleasure of addressing Zaimokuza Yoshiteru-sama?"

He gaped at me for a moment. This was possibly the first time a normal person had addressed him in such a respectful and downright weird fashion. It didn't take long for him to recover, though. Standing up abruptly, he flung out a gloved hand. "Indeed! It is I, the Blade Emperor Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, who has received your courteous address! Dost thou have business with my magnificent self?"

Contact has been a success, thankfully. Interaction with those who suffered from Chuunibyou had always been low on my priority list, but for the sake of toppling the Service Club, I would gladly sacrifice half my sanity in this first meeting.

"My name is Hikigaya Hachiman. You aspire to be a successful Light Novel author, correct? In fact, my sources tell me that you already have a novel in the works. But did you know that the Light Novel industry is extremely competitive, and only about 2 percent of authors make it big? You'll need some outside influence if you want your novel to make an impact."

He went back to gaping. "How could you possibly know about that? I do not recall telling anyone about my grand ambition." But in an instant, shock turned into grandeur and all traces of suspicion vanished. "But never mind that. You are most right; I plan to make a light novel, and it will be successful, with or without your assistance!"

Time to change tracks. "But can you afford the publishing fee?"

He paused. "What is this... fee that you speak of?"

Bullseye. "Widescale publishing is an expensive affair, y'know. You have to hire an editor, pay publishing companies to print copies of your Light Novel, so on and so forth."

Zaimokuza stared at me, the blood slowly draining from his face. His sweating intensified and became more apparent, dripping onto the clean library floor. "That... is an issue. Yes, an issue, indeed."

"Well, don't worry," I assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder for emphasis. It came back slick with sweat, and I repressed a shudder. Forcing a grin onto my face, I said "That's what I'm here for!"

He looked up at me, in the way a drowning man would look at a cruise liner. "You will help me get my novel published?"

All according to plan. I forced down the smirk that threatened to express itself on my traitorous facial muscles.

"Not only that, I'll even make sure people read it. You'll be the talk of Chiba's literary community in no time at all!" These were not empty promises; forcing hundreds of people to read a stupid book was well within my capabilities and my connections.

Evidently Zaimokuza had trouble believing this. "Impossible. Simply impossible. I, the great Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, sincerely doubt that any one man could possibly have influence that surpasses that of the Tokugawa Shogunate!"

Such a reaction was understandable, but I had come prepared. I smirked. "Believe what you want, but give me one hour, and I will demonstrate the extent of my power to you."

He looked somewhat baffled. "One hour?"

"One hour. I'll need a copy of your manuscript, though."

From the depths of his trench coat, he produced a thick bundle. "Very well. I shall believe your words for now. But I cannot imagine that you wish to help me without gaining anything in return."

I smiled. So he's not completely stupid, after all. "Very astute," I remarked. "I need you to do a little something for me."

"Ask, and you shall receive!" he boasted. "No feat is too small for my glorious self!"

"It's about this little club that I'm a part of," I said, idly flipping through the manuscript and trying not to cringe at the poor writing quality. "We're supposed to help out members of the student body, but we haven't gotten a single request yet. I'd like you to make our first."

"That does not sound too challenging," mused Zaimokuza. "But what should my request be of?"

I had not thought this far, but upon seeing the contents of his manuscript I had a burst of inspiration. "Easy. You can ask us to review your... ahem, literary masterpiece."

"An excellent idea!" he exclaimed. "Very well. Is there anything else?"

"Yeah. Make our lives as miserable as possible."

He cocked his head and stared at me for about five seconds or so. "...I, the great Sword Emperor Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, have no comment."

"Wise choice. Do we have a deal?"

We shook hands, and he said "Keep in mind, Hikigaya Hachiman, that you have not fully earned my trust. You will keep your end of the deal and show me your power in an hour's time, correct?"

"Yeah. Less than that, actually."

"Very well. Just a small query, but what would you have done if I hadn't brought my manuscript along with me today?"

I grinned, and he shrank back instinctively at the gleeful malice that had forced its way into my eyes before I could control myself. "What are you talking about? You always bring your manuscript with you."

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 26th May, 1000 hours]

"Well... I don't know how to put this," said Hiratsuka-sensei, looking extremely confused. The entire class fell silent; you knew something was wrong if Hiratsuka-sensei was confused.

"Apparently the Literature Department has given us an emergency order to stop studying our current text and switch to a new one. I've got a few copies here with me, so share them among yourselves." She handed them out to Hayama (who was the class representative, unsurprisingly) and he distributed them accordingly.

"Sensei," said Yuigahama, tentatively raising her hand. "Sharing texts with someone else is kinda troublesome... can we buy copies of this text in bookstores?"

"I dunno," replied Hiratsuka-sensei, looking more baffled by the minute. "The literature department said this text isn't being sold in stores yet."

Hayama squinted at his copy and frowned. "A Light Novel? Are you sure this isn't some sort of mistake, Sensei?"

"I don't know, okay?" barked a defensive Hiratsuka-sensei who had decided to translate her confusion into rage. "I got this directive half an hour ago! Even the printing crew started printing these manuscripts less than an hour ago, and they had to set aside all other operations to get it done!" She snarled with the frustration of a woman whose career had just been changed entirely, which honestly was not far from the truth. "Something's fishy about this, and I... something wrong, Yoshiteru?"

The cause for her concern was the audible gasp that had come from the back of the classroom. Under several questioning stares, Zaimokuza wilted. "N-no, nothing is wrong. It's just... just... this manuscript is my... no. Nothing at all!"

His face gradually paled as he gradually grew aware of just who he was dealing with.

I smiled.

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 26th May, 1300 hours]

"You've been getting increasingly punctual as of late," Yukinoshita admitted grudgingly as I closed the clubroom door. "My thanks for allowing me to conduct club activities more efficiently, although we have had none to speak of."

"Don't mention it," I grunted, pointedly keeping the gleeful anticipation out of my voice. Don't worry, we'll be having some really interesting club activities soon. So interesting, in fact, that you'll regret forming this club to begin with. "How about Yuigahama, though? She's not here yet."

"That's for the best," scoffed Yukinoshita. "The less she hears about our plans, the better."

I tilted my head in puzzlement, trying to emulate my younger sister but probably looking like an ostrich instead. "Isn't she a part of the club as well? I mean, she wouldn't have gone through all the trouble to join the club if all she wanted was to destroy us. It's common sense."

"How naive, Hikigaya-kun," Yukinoshita sighed. "Do you really think common sense would apply to a maniac who gained control of an entire school and established a social system with the intent of making students tear each other apart? To a rotten individual like him, common sense is but a shallow concept."

You really hit the nail on the head there. "So you think the mastermind sent Yuigahama here as a sort of mole in our organisation? That's fine, but what do you think she's actually supposed to do?"

"Divide and conquer, I suppose. If I were the mastermind, I would strive to break up the club by means of internal strife, breaking its members' resolve and increasing the chance of them integrating the school system afterwards."

Right again. I was beginning to get impressed.

Yukinoshita was truly an exceptionally perceptive person. If her hatred of the upper echelons of campus society didn't blind her judgement so much, she would have found me out a long time ago. At any rate, I could turn this into an advantage. Unknowingly, by suspecting Yuigahama's loyalty to the club, Yukinoshita had started to accelerate the 'divide and conquer' bit of my plan quite nicely all by herself.

I would love to say that I orchestrated all of this myself, but that would be a gross exaggeration. I'd better start making my move; it'd be a real pity if the club were to disband without my interference.

The sliding door burst open in a way that was very impressive for a sliding door.

"Yahallo!" Yuigahama greeted, with the brightest smile I had ever seen.

How fake. It took me a few seconds to formulate this thought and a few more to realise Yukinoshita had voiced my thought out loud. Without a morsel of shame, Yukinoshita continued: "There is no need to act like the way you do with your friends, Yuigahama-san. Especially since you're backstabbing them by simply being here." Just a simple 'you're not needed here, go away ' would have been enough, y'know.

Man, this 'divide and conquer' thing is going much faster than I thought. Still, that was completely heartless. Even by my standards. This routine had been going on for the past week; Yuigahama would report a few minutes late (not that being punctual would improve Yukinoshita's opinion of her) and Yukinoshita would proceed to put her icy-sharp tongue to use, leaving a crushed Yuigahama to reconsider how to earn her trust.

Yuigahama laughed nervously, eyes frozen in a state of horror and hurt. It was painful to watch. Then she broke off the metaphorical layer of ice that had seemed to encompass her entire being and laughed again, a little less nervously. "Um... well, are we having any club activities today?"

"None in particular," Yukinoshita replied, turning her gaze back to her book. Damn, women are scary. I'm not sure if I can hold down the fort for much longer...

At that moment there was a knock on the door, followed by a loud exclamation "It is I, the great Sword Emperor Zaimokuza Yoshiteru! You require my ser... wait, that's not right. I humbly request your servitu... service!"

Sensing the overbearing presence behind the clubroom's sliding door, I couldn't help but grin. Ah, reinforcements.

[Yukinoshita Yukino, 26th May, 1325 hours]

The frightfully obese boy sat on his chair, making a mess on the clubroom floor with his perspiration. Despite my delight at the club getting our first client (that wasn't a backstabbing double agent), great irritation stemmed from the fact that I had just cleaned the floor one day prior.

"What you just said," I reiterated, "is that Zaimokuza Yoshiteru-kun suffers from a condition called Chuunibyou, causing him to act the part of a persona more grandeur than he actually is in reality?"

"I'm surprised you didn't know that," Hikigaya-kun says, staring at me out of the corner of his right eye. "Didn't you do thorough research on all the students of Group F?"

To be honest, that statement was an exaggeration. When scouting for potential candidates to join the Service Club, I had immediately ceased investigation on individuals who were not likely to join, and the sweating mess in front of me was one of them.

To be completely honest, my scouting had mostly comprised investigating Hikigaya Hachiman. It would be prudent not to let him know this, however.

"All I knew was of Zaimokuza-kun's strange behaviour," I replied. "I didn't bother to figure out its cause." That answer seemed to satisfy him, but now it was my turn. "Incidentally, Hikigaya-kun, I noticed Zaimokuza-kun has been giving you nervous glances for the past five minutes. Could it be that both of you are acquainted?"

Any sign of surprise would have been a dead giveaway, and keeping his face completely neutral would have been an indication in itself. Hence, Hikigaya-kun made sure that his face betrayed just the right amount of shock. So he is capable of controlling his facial expressions to a disturbing degree. If not for the sweating mess betraying his own uneasiness in such obvious fashion, Hikigaya-kun would have fooled me.

Said sweating mass had let out a squeak and had thrown one last nervous glance at Hikigaya-kun before pointedly looking at everywhere but him.

Hikigaya-kun glared at the perspiring abomination out of the corner of his eye, before turning back to me. "We're partners for PE, that's all. He has had exposure to my... unorthodox problem solving skills, so this much nervousness is justifiable."

An acceptable reason. Too acceptable, in fact. A simple "Yeah" would have sufficed, but Hikigaya-kun had expended excess energy to justify just how the both of them were acquainted. Hence it was safe to assume that the both of them had conversed previously, probably concerning the request that this eccentric boy was about to present to the club.

I narrowed my eyes in irritation. Was Hikigaya-kun underestimating my capability? Or was it pity that led him to ask one of his classmates to make a request to our club, just so that we would have something to do? And in the grand scheme of things, in our fight against the mastermind of Sobu High's rotten system, just what was he planning on doing by making this move?

Hikigaya-kun caught my eyes, and for a moment his face let slip a hint of panic. Then he said, as casually as he could, "Zaimokuza had a personal problem that he didn't know what to do with, so I recommended that he come to us. Incidentally, this also has something to do with our... other objectives."

It was almost as if he had read my thoughts, and was responding to my suspicion. Without a doubt, Hikigaya-kun was my ally, but I had the feeling that he had yet to confide in me completely, and the fact stung more than it should have.

Hikigaya Hachiman, just what are you hiding?

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 26th May, 1330 hours]

Mind Reading (rated 10 out of 108) was one of my more abstract skills, which despite its high failure rate was a necessity in tight situations like the one just now. Though I wasn't completely sure if Yukinoshita's suspicions had been fully dissuaded. Knowing her, they would have probably increased in number.

"Apparently, Zaimokuza is aiming to be a light novel author and wishes for us to review his potential debut literary piece," I drawled. "However, soon after he made the request to me, an unexpected event happened. I've got a copy of his manuscript right here."

I tossed it onto the table, to a nervous squeak from Zaimokuza and an exclamation from Yuigahama. "Hey! Isn't that our new Literature text? The one they just introduced this morning..."

Yukinoshita's eyes lit up in recognition, then in realisation. Apparently she had received it too. "I found it strange at the time that the school management would see fit to introduce this text to us. Hikigaya-kun, are you telling me that there is something deeper involved?"

"Yeah. Don't you think that it's a bit strange? Zaimokuza here completes the manuscript of his debut novel one night before making a request to have it proofread, and the very next day the school finds it fit to distribute copies of it around the student body."

I narrowed my eyes. "Without a doubt, this is a drastic measure undertaken by the school to ruin the potential career of a rebellious student who refuses to conform to its system."

Yukinoshita's and Yuigahama's eyes widened in shock, stunned by this outrageous conspiracy theory. Zaimokuza's mouth gaped open and sealed itself three seconds later; apparently he hadn't thought that I would take his request this far. I shot him a look conveying the message 'stick with me and I'll get your novel published for real, no questions asked' for good measure.

"B-but," stuttered Yuigahama, who had yet to wrap her head around the concept. "How would spreading this manuscript around ruin Zaimokuza-kun's career as a writer?"

"Simple. Firstly, this is the first unrefined draft of the manuscript, so the writing quality is somewhat poor. Getting more people to read it would decreases Zaimokuza's credibility as a writer. Secondly, this measure would give the impression that Zaimokuza previously published his novel without proper authorisation of a publishing company when he does try to publish it in future. The school can easily cover up the fact that the novel hadn't been published previously, so the legal backlash will inevitably fall on him. If we don't do something, he'll be sued in court."

"To think the school would go to such lengths to break my brother-in-arms..." Yukinoshita whispered, rage filling every syllable, "Absolutely unforgivable. I will not rest until I have crushed their plans!" Zaimokuza gaped at her, evidently surprised about his promotion from 'perspiring abomination'' to 'brother-in-arms'.

"I feel the same way!" shouted Yuigahama passionately, causing Yukinoshita to shoot her a surprised glance. "This is just plain wrong! We've gotta do something about it!"

Yukinoshita looked at me, the flames of resolve still burning in her usually cold eyes. Yes, that is what I want to see! If you can't pass this trial, Yukinoshita Yukino, you are no match for me in the least! "Hikigaya-kun, you seem to have extensive knowledge concerning this measure. Do you have any idea on how to counter it?"

"Of course." I smirked. "All we need to do... is help Zaimokuza to refine his manuscript."

The three other occupants of the room stared at me in disbelief, before one of them realised he was supposed to be cooperating with me and tried to mould his expression into a more supportive one.

"No, think about it," I said. "If we improve the manuscript so drastically that it's basically a different one from the original, Zaimokuza can get it published without any copyright infringement. It's foolproof!"

The two girls considered this. Then Yukinoshita spoke up.

"I cannot deny the effectiveness of your solution, Hikigaya-kun," she said, slowly. "But even if we help Zaimokuza-kun to the extent of writing his novel for him, he will face future challenges from the school on the course of his career as a writer." She turned to the sweating mass in a trench coat. "Zaimokuza-kun, if you continue down this path, you will definitely find yourself obstructed by Sobu High and all its connections to the corporate world. Do you have the will to fight against these forces continually?"

Zaimokuza gave me an uneasy glance, and I nodded slightly. "Y-yes!" he exclaimed. "My resolve is genuine! I will be a light novel author, and I will crush every barrier that stands in my way!"

"Very well," Yukinoshita said, nodding in a satisfied fashion. "Your request has been heard. The Service Club will help you to proofread your novel overnight and criticize it. Whatever you do with this criticism will be entirely up to you. I wish you the best of luck, Zaimokuza-kun."

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 26th May, 1600 hours]

"I can't do this," moaned Yuigahama, slumping onto her table. "I mean, I really want to help you proofread this, but there are so many grammar errors I don't even know what you're writing about!"

"It appears that this will take more effort than I originally thought," Yukinoshita whispered, too tired to raise her voice to a normal level. She broke her perfect posture to massage her temple, which meant that she was nursing a headache at the level of a migraine or worse. "I'll be taking my copy of the manuscript home to peruse it further. Zaimokuza-kun, I'll have to ask you to come again tomorrow."

Zaimokuza visibly gathered up the shreds of his tattered ego and nodded. "S-sure. I will be looking forward to your words of praise then!"

Yukinoshita's eyes narrowed. "As your comrade, I am strictly on your side. However, I can safely say that there won't be any of the words of praise you have been anticipate. Prepare yourself, Zaimokuza-kun. Like it or not, we will hone your skills as a writer."

Not broken yet, eh? I grinned. That's fine, actually. Why rely on a stupid request when I can break you myself?

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 26th May, 1605 hours]

"Frankly, his novel is beyond hope," declared Yukinoshita as soon as Zaimokuza shut the clubroom door. As expected, she was torn between helping an individual who she clearly viewed as a comrade and giving up on an impossible and meaningless task. "Why couldn't he have picked a more suitable career?"

Frustration in spadefuls, just what I was aiming for. Individuals with overwhelming resolve had often given in to the fact that their resolve will not get them anywhere; for Yukinoshita, this frustration at not getting anything done would be her undoing.

"Don't be like that, Yukinoshita-san!" Yuigahama tried, even though her eyes betrayed a tinge of hopelessness. "I mean, I agree that he's not really suited for this kind of thing, but he was so enthusiastic about it... I'm sure that we'll be able to help Zaimokuza-san improve himself, with enough effort!"

And here it was, the perfect mix of resignation and guilt. Zaimokuza had really played his role well, I mused to myself, to emphasize his faked enthusiasm for writing. Despite the multitude of lives Yuigahama had trampled upon, she was the kind of airheaded girl that would feel the weight of crushing the hopes and dreams of others on her conscience.

I waited a few seconds for Yukinoshita to fire the usual sarcastic barb about backstabbing traitors, but this time she was too mentally exhausted to do so. I seized the opening presented to me.

"I think we should give up," I said. Two pairs of stunned eyes directed themselves in my direction.

"But... Hikki, wasn't this entire thing your idea?" Oi, what's with that term of address?

"I changed my mind. Both of you can understand, right? He's beyond hope." Both girls simultaneously found great interest in the clubroom's floor. "At this level of writing capability, entering the light novel industry will be a dumb move, even for him. I think we should stop wasting effort on saving him from the school's influence."

"I cannot accept this," Yukinoshita said as she glared at me. "Undeserving as he may be, Zaimokuza-kun has displayed the will to oppose our school."

"Only because the school interfered with his delusional ambitions," I returned. "Didn't you see his attitude? He's clearly satisfied with his current ability. He feels that he doesn't need our help at all." Yukinoshita gritted her teeth and averted her gaze from mine.

Yuigahama said nothing. Despite her strong belief that all people had a good side to them, she was well aware that a man who is satisfied with himself will never seek to improve, no matter how much he is criticized. In her mind, Zaimokuza would never strive towards his good side and was therefore a lost cause.

Weak little girl. This duel between Yukinoshita and I was perfect before you butted in!

"That's why I said we should stop wasting our efforts and-"

"No."

My heart skipped a beat. Could it be... that I had been waiting all day for this moment?

"I won't deny that you're right, Hikigaya-kun. But we won't give up. If he does not see the need to improve himself, all we need to do is to make him discover that need, no matter what measures we need to utilise in order to do so."

"In that case, you're just forcing your ideals on others. What makes you so different from the mastermind you're fighting, huh?"

Instead of Zaimokuza's daunting request, this was my true attack on the Service Club: the statement that would make Yukinoshita contemplate her existence and actions for the days to come. The very first step toward shattering her resolve completely. After all, there is no better way to discourage an inflated sense of justice than to render this justice meaningless.

Yukinoshita, you sheltered princess. There is no justice in this world, simply us. Come to realise this fact, and face me as an equal; that's the only way you can hope to win!

"I am aware that I am similar to the individual that I fight against. Whoever said that I couldn't be?"

...huh?

"I do not oppose him because he forces his ideals onto others; doing so is the only way one can make his mark on society. But I oppose him because his ideals are wrong."

What on earth... "Who are you to decide that?" I ground out, subconsciously clenching my teeth and my fists. "Your 'justice' is nothing but an empty delusion. By refusing to conform to Sobu High's social caste, you are conforming to a social construct instead! Who decides what is right and wrong, anyway? Society? Your superiors? Your peers?"

"Me."

Upon seeing the resolution in her eyes as her mouth uttered that outrageous word, the blood drained from my face. Feeling faint, I slowly lowered myself back onto my chair.

I thought you fought for justice, but turns out you were fighting for yourself, huh? Forcing your ideals on the people around you, just like me. Here I was thinking you had yet to grow into the position of an opponent worthy of me, but turns out you were already my equal. Or have you surpassed me already?

How presumptuous. How ignorant. How wonderful! Yukinoshita Yukino, looks like I underestimated you yet again.

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 27th May, 1305 hours]

I stood guard in the corridor leading to the Service Club's clubroom. Yuigahama had already gone in a few minutes ago and was probably being reprimanded by Yukinoshita for being late as usual. Speaking of which, Yukinoshita would most likely skin me alive for staying outside the clubroom on purpose. But the stage needed to be set.

"Took you long enough," I said as Zaimokuza rounded the corner. Upon seeing me he started and instinctively turned around in an attempt to flee, before his mind caught up with his legs and instructed them to stay still if they wanted to move ever again. At least, that was how I imagined it.

Beads of sweat so large that they classified more as blobs formed on his forehead. "H-have I done anything wrong?"

"Nope. In fact, your performance yesterday was just what I needed. I just wanted to warn you that Yukinoshita has a lot of criticism ready for you today."

He huffed, an interesting mix of relief and resignation. "Of course... I've been expecting this. Fear not, for I shall take them all in stride!"

I could already see the outcome of this meeting; Yukinoshita would continuously grill Zaimokuza with her verbal barbs until he either decided to get his act together or sank into the sea of depression.

But that wouldn't be fun now, would it?

"No," I growled. "You will not."

Zaimokuza paled.

[Yukinoshita Yukino, 27th May, 1310 hours]

As I had previously calculated, Hikigaya-kun and Zaimokuza-kun entered the clubroom together, ten minutes after the acceptable time no less. Hikigaya-kun knew how much emphasis I placed on punctuality; to meet up with Zaimokuza-kun at the risk of incurring my wrath had clearly been a decision made after careful contemplation.

And this fact irked me. I had not forgotten that this request was most likely an arranged one, and although Hikigaya-kun claimed that this request had something to do with our overall rebellion, the fact remained that he was manipulating Zaimokuza-kun's behaviour behind my back. Hikigaya-kun was a monster of logic and observation, and had therefore probably arranged for Zaimokuza-kun to give in easily and give me a greater sense of satisfaction for whipping him into shape.

As Hikigaya-kun took a seat beside me, formulating a meaningless excuse, I silently resolved not to let things happen the way he wanted them to.

"Zaimokuza-kun," I began. "There are several errors with your manuscript that require rectification."

Surprisingly, Zaimokuza-kun did not nod agreeingly as he usually did, instead choosing to stare me straight in the eye. "Is that so, now? Or are you simply jealous of my magnificent work?"

My irritation rose. "I do not lie. Your work is indeed atrocious. May I remind you that we are trying to help you here-"

"Oh yeah?" Zaimokuza-kun's voice rose to almost hysterical levels. "That's why you're criticizing me unconstructively for no good reason? I try and do a favour for this guy here," here he jabbed a finger in a furious Hikigaya-kun's direction, "and what do I get for it? Nothing! Absolutely nothing but baseless slander!"

"Now just hold on a sec, Zaimokuza," hissed Hikigaya-kun, rising out of his seat with killing intent in his eyes. "This isn't what we agreed on-"

"Screw you and what we agreed on!" screamed Zaimokuza-kun. "Why should I care about your stupid club? All you've done so far was to try and crush my hopes and dreams! My aspirations! How am I supposed to publish my novel if it keeps being insulted like this?"

His argument had so many logical loopholes and fallacies that I didn't know how to disassemble it. I felt the origins of a headache manifest themselves in the deepest depths of my skull.

Hikigaya-kun's face was white with fury, and he probably would have done something unseemly if Yuigahama-san didn't grab his arm and pull him back down onto his chair. It appeared that whatever collaboration Hikigaya-kun had with our unreasonable client was now null and void.

It was time for a change of plans, then. I inhaled.

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 27th May, 1315 hours]

That was it, then. Zaimokuza and I had fallen out, right in front of the rest of the Service Club. In the span of mere minutes, Yukinoshita was convinced that she would need to do her absolute best to put this rebellious boy with Chuunibyou back on the right path.

All according to plan. Just forget about light novels, Zaimokuza; you'll do pretty well in the acting industry. All that was left was to see how Yukinoshita would deal with this. If she could, that is.

Beside me, she inhaled.

"Zaimokuza-kun. It appears that you do not want us to criticize your manuscript." And so it begins.

Zaimokuza made perfect eye contact with her and glared, a feat that even I had taken a long while to achieve. I had to give it to him; Group F students truly were something else. "Yeah, what about it? If not for this stupid request I would have gotten it published already."

"And what good would it do if you didn't listen to the advice of others? Do you feel that your literary work requires no amendment?"

His chest swelled. "I, the great sword emperor Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, have no need for correction! Everything in my light novel that you regard as 'erroneous' was put in there by me on purpose!"

Yukinoshita's eyes narrowed. Could it be that you're giving up already? Come on, you know that logic isn't going to work on this guy. "Everything? Including the heaps of meaningless jargon?"

"Of course! Such terminology is necessary to the utmost."

"How about the spelling mistakes? Were they done on purpose?"

"Naturally. I am redefining the entire industry by revolutionising the concept of spelling in light novels!"

Yukinoshita glowered, frustrated. "And the highly abbreviated writing style?"

Zaimokuza smirked and flung his head back. It was the perfect picture of childish arrogance. "Call it artistic license, if you may."

"Enough is enough!" Yukinoshita hissed, knocking over her chair in an attempt to stand up. "I have no knowledge of otaku culture, but the world out there will not appreciate such shoddy work. We are your allies, and we are trying to help you! Do you not understand that there are countless enemies that will make use of your incompetence to reduce your life to rubble?"

Zaimokuza grinned. "Is that so? So far all I've seen of my allies are individuals trying to slander my life's work!"

"That's wrong!"

Three heads turned to look at the excess occupant of the clubroom who hadn't spoken up for the entire exchange. Yuigahama's face was bright red; apparently she'd been wanting to speak up for a while now. "Zaimokuza-kun, you're misunderstanding something here! We would never criticize your story without reason!"

"Oh yeah?" the target of her emphatic outburst sneered. "How're you gonna prove that, then? I see no reason to change my manuscript."

"I..." Yuigahama faltered. "I can't really prove it, but we're trying to help you because we're the Service Club! We lend a helping hand to our fellow students to solve their problems! And... and right now, we're telling you that you're a horrible writer!"

Zaimokuza stared at her, stunned, only recovering after a full five seconds. "You... you're trying to convince me that you're trying to help me, right?" I mentally agreed; insulting someone to their face is the worst way to compromise with them. Just what are you doing, Yuigahama Yui?

"I am! But you can't write, and that's the truth! P-personally, I think it's admirable to pursue your dreams, but right now you can't make yours a reality. Many people have told you that, right?"

"H-How did you know that?" Zaimokuza squeaked, forgetting his role in my staged scenario.

"You wanted to become a writer so as to impact the hearts of others, don't you? It's not as simple as you think! For the past year... no, even before that! I have always changed to fit the needs and wants of others, so that they would like me. It's the same for you, Zaimokuza-kun!"

Zaimokuza looked visibly shaken now, leading me to abruptly realise where this was going. Shit, she understands his heart! She's going for his emotions! And it's Working!

"There's nothing wrong with changing yourself!" shouted Yuigahama. "Some people don't do that, and change the world around them instead, and I think that's admirable in its own way too, but if you truly want to impact people you must understand them first! Understand their hearts, and change according to what they want. Listen to us, Zaimokuza-kun. We're trying to help you!"

Understanding people's hearts, changing accordingly... I suppressed the uneasy twinge that sprung up in my own conscience. Damn you, Yuigahama. Did you just make my resolve waver?

Zaimokuza trembled before bursting into tears. "I'm sorry!" he gasped in between sobs. "I just can't do this anymore!" A stunned Yukinoshita looked at him in amazement; even her sharpest barbs and most logical arguments had failed to convince him, and yet here he was, bawling his eyes out.

I could stand it no longer. Ignoring the inquiring gazes of Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, I stood up and barged out of the room.

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 27th May, 1625 hours]

I was waiting in the corridor once again when Zaimokuza stepped out of the clubroom. He nearly jumped out of his skin upon seeing me, but brought himself back under control and approached me cautiously.

"I... I'm sorry, I failed."

"It's fine," I sighed. I had thought that Zaimokuza would be the perfect counter to Yukinoshita's logical methodology, and he was. But in all honesty, the fault was mine for underestimating Yuigahama's ability to understand the heart. "It wasn't completely your fault. So I suppose you spent the rest of the time listening to their criticism?"

He looked at me, still cautious. "Well... yes. The experience of being corrected by individuals who wished to support my life's work was... better than I thought."

Looks like I lost this round. I growled internally while keeping my expression stoic. "Good for you. About the other end of our agreement..."

"Oh, but I didn't keep mine."

"You did well enough. So, when do you want your novel to be published and how many people do you want to read it?" Even if Zaimokuza had failed this time round, his skills and newfound connection to the Service Club could prove to be invaluable assets. If I could get some incentive to make him my pawn, I would consider today a relative success...

Zaimokuza laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Um, well, about that... I think I won't need it to be published, after all."

My eyes widened, just by a fraction of a millimetre. "What?"

He laughed, embarrassed. "Well, you know... after all that, I realised that I don't really want to use your method of forcing people to read my novel. If people are gonna read it, they'll be reading it because they want to, and they'll appreciate and criticize it all they want! That is what my pride, as great sword emperor Zaimokuza Yoshiteru, dictates!"

He stood there in the glow of the late afternoon sun, amongst the mundane rows of window panes and clubroom doors, a strange boy dressed in a trench coat and goggles. Completely out of place. A lone wolf defying the oppressive influence of his environment.

Well, aren't you cool.

"Right," I said, keeping my voice under control. "I'll see you around, then."

Immediately after Zaimokuza rounded the corner, I let out a howl of fury and kicked the wall.

[Hikigaya Hachiman, 27th May, 1630 hours]

I've lost this round, truly and completely. I thought that giving Yukinoshita and Yuigahama a hard time would be enough to make them give up on this entire charade, but it seems I was wrong. Well done, both of you. First point goes to the rebels.

And now I'm pissed. Not at Yukinoshita for being so unwaveringly hard to crack, not at Yuigahama for ruining my plan completely with an unforeseen skill, not at Zaimokuza for letting himself be influenced by those two blind fools. No, I'm angry at myself.

What was Yuigahama thinking, inserting a speech about one changing the world around oneself because one couldn't understand the hearts of others into her rant? Was she looking down on me? Has she been looking down on the mastermind behind the system that she has been feeding off this whole time?

And to think my resolve wavered because of it! There was no possibility that it should have hit home in any way.

But evidently it did for Zaimokuza. A three-man organisation managed to completely change the outlook and personality of one of the most stubbornly delusional individuals in the school? What a joke. Humans are simple creatures, only living for self-gratification and self-benefit. If Zaimokuza managed to shrug that notion off, all this shows is that his resolve was not strong enough to begin with.

This round was simply my warmup. In my war against the Service Club, I have yet to utilise the most crucial part of my beloved system. If it took the entire club to deal with a single individual, I wonder how they will fare against an entire social group...

Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, prepare yourselves. Our battle has only just begun!

END OF CHAPTER 3

Authors note: Life's been real hectic lately, so my updates may become more infrequent. Rest assured that I will finish this story, though!