It was still early morning; far too early for the workers of the Mystery Manor to be marching through the door. Well, with exception to Yuki, who was busy reading through a dictionary in the kitchen. It was part of his bi-daily task of relearning English, by learning what the twins had come to explain as 'casual' words. Today, however, he was scanning for something.
From the living room, Grunkle Stan shouted, "Kids! Come here, quick!"
Dipper came sliding down the stairs in his sleeping pants and shirt. Mabel leapt half the stairs and landed behind him, wearing her best pajama robe and oversized t-shirt.
"What is it?" Mabel demanded, scanning the floor, "Is there unusual species of rodent in the house again?"
Stan indicated ahead of himself. "No, check it out!" Stan, half way through adjusting his bow around his neck, pointed to the active television screen. The twins approached either side of the older man, and stared.
An advertisement proudly announced something. "The world is a strange, dangerous, mysterious, and a strange place," the television announcer told the three of them as mist flowed across the screen before a large abandoned mansion, "But no place is too strange for the North Pacific Paranormal People!"
"Oh!" Dipper exclaimed, "we could totally be on television!" he looked to his sister, who beamed excitedly and they both looked to the TV again.
A catchy, exciting theme was played as clips from several days ago were played. One of Grunkle Stan's recordings of him walking down a hallway and turning around had been edited with a dark shadow passing behind him as well as Mabel's great turn and stare. Dipper even had a word on the television, a brief few warnings about ghosts.
"Remember, it's not just real," the announcer told them as the five members of the N.P.P.P. stood before them, crossing their arms and staring seriously and grimly ahead, "It's totally real. Totally Real Paranormal Mystery Show, coming soon! On Watch People Go To Places."
"My voice was on television!" Dipper exclaimed. "I'm almost famous!"
"We're totally going to be able to tell mom and dad about this," Mabel grinned to him as Grunkle Stan chuckled and turned off the TV, "They'll finally believe us."
"Ha! Not likely," Stan told them. "Your parents are about as stuck in the fantasy world of 'normal' as they come!"
"Oh! It sounds just soo horrible!" Mabel said with a big fat grin. Dipper laughed with her as Stan rolled his eyes and continued working on his tie.
"Hey! Yuki!" Grunkle Stan called into the kitchen, "You found a good synonym for 'no refund' that's too complicated for anyone to know?"
"Ah, my search continues," Yuki told him, "The closest I have come across is remuneration."
"Huh. What does that mean?" Stan asked.
"It is a form of compensation- payment. To-"
"Perfect!" Stan shouted, and turned away, "Have you and Soos put it on a bunch of signs so we can have everyone not-know they're being ripped off! Ha!" Stans put his hands out before himself and painted the image, "Hehehe. 'No-remuneration'. I love it!"
"I don't believe this is a wise choice," Yuki protested, following him and the twins into the Gift shop, "Should people discover your fraudulence and quality of the merchandise you intend to sell-"
"Yuki," Stan said with a certain tiredness found from someone saying the same thing in many various ways, "I've been conning people for a long time. No one comes back, even if they like the place. Heck, not even the people in town care enough about this stuff," Grunkle Stan put it to him simply, "So stuff it. And get to work with those signs!" he ordered to his lackey. Yuki sighed and turned away, discouraged in his results to put Stan on the path of an honest life.
"You know Grunkle Stan," Dipper pointed out to his elder as Yuki left, "He does have a point. Especially since people are going to be staying here over night, there's more of a chance that someone could notice that half the stuff you sell is just cheap crud for high prices."
"Oi, another whiner," Stan groaned and turned to him, "Don't you have something better to be doing other than siding with the bleeding heart?"
"I think Yuki has two hearts actually," Mabel puzzeld aloud, "He told me something about his heart rate being hard to read by human standards."
"Whatever," Stan rolled his eyes. The gift shop door opened and a large man walked in, humming to himself excitedly and adjusting his hat. "Good. Soos, Yuki's going to go make a bunch of new signs to replace the old ones. Go make sure he doesn't fall into the paint can again, will you?"
"Sure thing, Mister Pines!" Soos nodded happily, and started over towards the kitchen. As he passed the twins, giving them a smile and wave, he paused, a puzzling look coming over his eyes. "Hm. There's something I totally need to tell you guys."
"What?" the both asked.
Soos squinted in the distance, and then focused onto those two. "I forgot. Give me like five minutes and it'll come to me," Soos shrugged and walked past them.
"Ha, okay Soos," Mabel snorted as she let the large man pass by her. She frowned. "I wonder if it's about that warlock guy," Mabel worriedly pondered.
"I think he'd remember if he spotted the guy stalking around town," Dipper replied to his sister. Yet his mind reverberated with the event a few days prior, "Then again... I don't know. He said he was leaving town, but I don't think we can trust his word on anything."
"I trust that," Mabel padded her brother's shoulder, and he smiled. From outside, the scraping sound of stopping bike tire caught their attention. "Wendy's here," Mabel told her brother, her grin becoming cheeky and expectant. "Guess that means you're going to be half distracted for the rest of the day," Mabel winked to her brother as she turned and grabbed a coloring book and planted herself on the floor. Dipper opened his mouth and searched his brain for the proper retort.
"I- just- what is that supposed to mean?" he demanded of her.
"Oh c'mon bro-cola," Mabel looked up to him, coloring in the sketch of a velociraptor with bright neon colors, "Ever since the tulpa stuff, you've been keeping an eye on her." Dipper turned away to the door quickly. He did not need Wendy catching any of this conversation. Mabel laughed at his antics. "Dipper, why don't you just, you know, ask her out or something?"
"What?" Dipper gasped.
"Yeah dude," Mabel shrugged, "Worst comes to worst she says no, and is still your friend, because she's awesome like that. Don't be such a wuss," she added, sticking out her tongue to him.
Dipper scowled, yet said nothing. Truthfully, he hadn't been staring at Wendy dreamily as he used to. Something was eating at his mind, a worry in his head he couldn't help but try exercising by letting curiosity dictate what he stared at: her. Wendy. The girl he crushed on more so than any other girl he had ever in his life. The older, pretty, cool girl who never looked down on Dipper for anything was suddenly a different focus.
Something was off. He was certain of it, but he couldn't pin-point it. She barely reacted to that huge chunk of wood in her back, and she hadn't even gotten a bruise from the wardrobe. Or... if she had, as she always wore her long sleeves so actually catching bruises was difficult, she wasn't acting like she was injured. It just bugged him. Had that been anyone else, Dipper was afraid a trip to the hospital would have been needed.
Then again, this was Wendy he was thinking about. The girl who was, just now, stepping through the door.
"Sup dudes," she called to them as she stepped to her post, "Stan! I'm here," she called.
"Great! Do work, or something," he called back through the building.
"Hi Wendy!" Mabel called from the floor, "Look! A Glam-oraptor!" she declared as she lifted the picture of the dinosaur coloring book to display her version of the dinosaur, but drawn to have a fluffy python around its neck and stylish glasses over its eyes. High heels and gaudy rings completed the image.
Wendy chuckled and reached into her bag. "Nice – ow," she groaned, holding her side.
"Are... are you okay?" Dipper asked, approaching her quickly.
"Yeah. I think the adrenaline of being thrown around by a poltergeist-Tulpa wore off. I feel sucky," she admitted, yet reached down, groaning all the way. Dipper frowned, but said nothing. "Here," she pulled out a small post card, "Got something from your friends."
"Huh?" the twins asked. Despite Dipper's immediate proximity to Wendy, Mabel was up and next to the counter, stretching her arm past Dipper to snag the object: a single postcard. Dipper, in his eagerness to grab the card actually managed to weave his arm around hers, knocking Mabels hand away and grabbing it for his own.
"Ha! Mine," he told her teasingly. Mabel stuck her tongue out, but stepped over to side next to him, reading along as he read the card aloud, "Dear Dipper and Mabel, how's the crazy town treating you? We've only just caught up with the phoenix," Dipper paused, and the twins then gasped. They looked to one another, Dipper exclaiming, "Jace and Jessandra!"
"Yeah, those two," Wendy nodded and filed through one of her magazines as she kicked her legs up to the counter.
Dipper continued. "Took us all the way to Baja California, and we may have burned a few homes while getting it under control, but we couldn't have done it without your help," Dipper looked to Mabel with a grin. She 'awed' happily back before he continued with his reading, "So we thought after we drop the phoenix back home, we can stop by and say hi again. It's cool to know normal people, and we wanted to get a tour around Gravity Falls."
"That'd be lovely!" Mabel nudged Dipper, "We could make it a trip to the pool- oh... wait, they probably wouldn't like that."
Dipper reminded her, "Hiding feathers?"
"Maybe... oh!" she exclaimed, "Hang gliding!"
Dipper laughed as Mabel cheered excitedly and he continued. "Anyway, hope you've been safe and as awesome as we remember. We know that town of yours is wild! Talk to you later, J and J," Dipper finalized. With appreciation heavy in his heart, Dipper looked to Wendy. "Thanks for grabbing this."
"No problem," she told them offhandedly, "Was in the mailbox, didn't look like Stan's usual, so it was going to probably be yours."
"Guys!" A roar from the backrooms pulled the focus from Wendy to Soos, who came running into the room, gripping a wet paintbrush and slopping black paint all over his shirt, "I just remembered what I needed to tell you!"
"What is it?!" Dipper demanded.
Taking in one long breath, Soos exclaimed at once, "Gravity Falls is holding their second annual talent show this weekend!"
Mabel gasped, squealed, and began to hop in place. "Talent show! Talent show! Talent show!" she roared and began to run around.
"Gravity Falls does a talent show?" Dipper asked Soos.
"Yeah dude! It's held each year after school is over," Soos told him, and Wendy also piped up.
"They stared last year after they stopped doing Pioneer Day," Wendy told them, "Something about a problem with the founder of the town?" She looked to Soos. "You know anything about that?"
"The way I heard it," he began, "It's that the town founder was a fraud. A big 'ol fakey fraud. The Northwests are supposed to be related to them, so they replaced the holiday with an annual talent show," Soos explained. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. There was a devilish grin about Dipper. Mabel looked someone disappointed, but still awarded her brother a smile. Soos, spotting their reaction, inquired "You two know something about that?"
"Ask Dipper," Mabel rolled her eyes.
With spite, Dipper explained, "We found out that their ancestor, Nathaniel Northwest, wasn't anything other than a village idiot who liked to steal credit. Didn't create this town, but the eighth-and-a-half president did!"
"Who?" Wendy crooked her head.
"So, I got to take the incriminating evidence, and shoved it into Pacifica's face," Dipper told them, crossing his arms together, "and let her soak in the shame. It felt good then, it feels better now."
Mabel hummed as she scratched her chin. "I thought she said she made it go away or something."
"Oh!" Soos snapped his fingers, "As it turns out, a pair of maids from the manor supposedly found something like that in the trash, and kept it in case they were unjustly fired!"
"Let me guess," Wendy looked to him, more a comment than an actual guess. Soos nodded.
Dipper snorted, a cruel joy resting in his chest. "So, the word finally got out, huh?" Dipper grinned. "Serves her right."
Mabel, however, was less enthused about the topic and frowned. "I don't know, that sounds kind of sad," Mabel admitted. The three turned to stare at her, "I mean, I'm not saying they should just, you know, not let people know the truth, but-"
"Mabel, they roll in cash for a past time," Wendy informed her, "They can blow their nose on toilet paper made of dollar bills."
"Aww, and the guy on that picture looks like such a gentleman," Mabel sighed, looking deflated.
"Cheer up, hambone," Soos patted her shoulder, "At least there are, like, a thousand more of him out there in the world. Maybe more!" he told her. "Besides, you should totally join the talent show."
"Huh? For what?" Mabel asked around.
"C'mon Mabel," Wendy snorted, "You've got those mad martial arts skills you could show off! That's totally talent-worthy."
Dipper gasped. "That's a great idea!" he told his sister.
"I don't know," Mabel rubbed the back of her head, eyeing the others, "You're not really supposed to show of the skills of the Paths to people. I was kinda breaking the rules when I showed Dipper and you guys that stuff."
Surprised at her reluctance, Dipper laughed. "Mabel, c'mon, we can make something out of this," Dipper informed her excitedly, "I'm not saying I'm anywhere close to your skill with this sort of thing, but we can come up with something awesome! Hey, maybe we can make it a competition!" Dipper suggested to the other two, "You know – who can better represent the Mystery Manor?"
"Oh, I'm so in that," Soos nodded, crossing his arms and padding his hat to the side, "I've already got an idea!"
"Cool!" the twins jointly said.
Dipper looked to Wendy, who shrugged. "I don't really like showing off," Wendy told them, playing with some of her hair by her shoulder.
"What? Wendy, this is the one place you're allowed to show off!" Dipper explained, "You're plenty awesome!" Wendy laughed but shook her head. "Why not?" Dipper asked her.
She leaned on the counter, and gave him a look that was like a dare. "Name me one thing I can do that can be shown off on a stage," she ordered the twins.
Dipper laughed. "That's easy, you're super athletic and acrobatic," he told her, "You climb trees like nothing."
"Like a bear!" Mabel added on excitedly, "A wendy-bear!"
"I don't know guys," Wendy looked away, rubbing the back of her head. She looked to the door, peering into the wilderness beyond, and gave the suggestion a thought. "Maybe? I'll think about it I suppose." The twins cheered.
"Awesome!" Soos declared with a fist pump, "We'll score that prize for the Mystery Manor for sure now!"
"Speaking of stuff with the Mystery Manor," Wendy looked to the door again, where a large van was beginning to park by the parking section, "Stan!" she called, "Money!"
The stampeding old man barreled through the gift shop like Mabel had several days ago when Waddles first arrived. He glanced through the door and turned to his workers and family.
"Alright, you four," he announced, "The Mystery Manor needs to get some people to actually stay in those rooms this weekend, otherwise I don't know how I'm ever going to get my money back. I need you all to act like you love staying here again!"
"Uh, for how long?" Dipper piped up, catching Stan as he started to turn towards the door.
"For as long as it takes," Grunkle Stan told him. Dipper's groan surprised the old geezer. "What? Don't tell me you have another stupid mystery thing going around again?"
"No," Dipper grunted and rolled his eyes.
Mabel leapt to the opportunity to explain. "We're going to go sign up for a talent show and represent the Mystery Manor this weekend!" Mabel told Grunkle Stan, who sighed.
"Oh, that stupid waste of time – wait, you said represent?" he asked. The twins nodded. "Then again, cash prizes," Grunkle Stan began to stroke his cheek and jaw line, "And on the other hand, if you two won the competition-"
"Or Soos!" Soos piped in, "I'm also going!"
Stan slowly grew a smirk. "Ohh... this could be big. If I can get the name to be more popular in town again," Stan rubbed his hands together, spinning his black eight-ball capped cane quickly. He clearly came to a decision, and turned to Soos and the twins, "Okay, okay, so go ahead and go down to town and figure out that stuff. Soos, I need you here for now."
"But the-"
"The twins can sign you up, right?" Stan looked to Dipper and Mabel.
Proudly, Mabel exclaimed, "I've had experience with forgery before!"
"Dang right you did!" Stan told her, and looked back to Soos, "See? They'll sign your name."
"Well... okay then," Soos nodded, and gave the twins a thumbs up, "Go get me all official-ized and stuff."
"Hey, while you're at it- YUKI!" Stan roared loudly to the ceiling. An outcry of panic was followed by the clanking of a can. Yuki scampered into sight, heavily splattered with black pain. Panicked and covered in pain, he was just the sight to give Stan the laugh of the day. "Ha! That never gets old," Stan mused as he looked to him, holding his heaving chest.
Wiping away a blob of paint off his face, Yuki asked, "Is there something I am required for?" after gaining steady breath.
Stan cleared his throat. "Yeah. Go with the twins into town. Do that survey you thought would help with advertising," Stan nodded to the twins as he told him this.
"Placement of signage within town would certainly help in the endeavor to attract attention," Yuki nodded, and smiled to the twins, "I will gladly go with them to town."
"Road trip!" Mabel yelled. Before the startled alien could react, she darted over to him, grabbed him by the waist, spun him horizontally, and held him like someone would a long bean-pole. She raced out the room with him. Dipper laughed and followed.
"Anything you guys want while we're in town?" Dipper asked the three as he backed out the door.
"Have they made machines that replicate money yet?" Grunkle Stan asked.
"I'm good," Wendy winked at him as she re-assumed the counter station.
"Have fun, dawg!" Soos waved.
Dipper turned and let himself out the door. Mabel was hopping up and down by his car with Yuki. The alien, hiding in plain sight, was adjusting his had to better hide his hair as the family who had just arrived happily approached the gift shop door. "They had not seen my leaves, correct?" he asked them, scratching at the hat.
"Don't worry," Mabel patted the crest of his hat, "I think the only thing they're looking at is the mystery ahead of them."
"And the soon to be lacking of cash in their wallet," Dipper added.
Yuki gave the same kind of nod he often did when someone explained what it was the Mystery Manor really was: a money vacuum. "I must admit, when I expected to be living with your grand uncle for the summer until I could acclimate better to the situation of earth-life," Yuki told them as Dipper unlocked the car with a beep from a small electronic beep, "I hadn't expected Stanley to be so... ravenous and rapacious."
"Be so whaaat?" Mabel asked as she got into the passenger seat alongside Dipper.
"He means greedy," Dipper said, "In a polite sort of way, I think."
"Oh. That's the Grunkle for ya thunkle!" Mabel told the alien as he sat behind them.
"I suppose I just have to overcome his short-sightedness towards monetary gain," Yuki sighed as Dipper turned the car on, and got them going.
The drive to Gravity Falls was a gentle trip with Dipper at the wheel. It was inlaid with many of Yuki's questions about driving and the function of all cars. Many of these questions Dipper and Mabel could answer easily, and told him so with a snappy return. Many more, however, only Dipper could half-answer, and even more than that they could not answer. The exact functions and components to a car engine were not either of the twin's forte of knowledge.
Regardless of the worried state the twins were in after they both realized that they needed to learn a tad more about their transports, they slowly arrived in the town square. As it might have been two years ago, there were folk casually strolling about, carrying pieces of building supplies and construction tools around. Where a once-proud statue of a noble looking Nathanial Northwest stood, a new platform had been constructed. Along with it, a stage backdrop had been built, and a whole mess of other components to make the perfect setting for talent show. Folding chairs were all being lined up along the stage side.
Mabel's feverish bouncing in her seat grew more rapid. "Ohh this is so exciting!" she shouted, clawing at Dipper's arm, who shook with her movement.
"Yes! Ow! It is," Dipper finally yanked himself from her. Before he could exit, she reached over and crushed him in a Mabel-like power hug, and then she darted out of the car.
Yuki, calmly watching Mabel burst from the car, told Dipper, "She is quite roused."
"Really? I couldn't notice," Dipper rolled his eyes as he stepped out with Yuki.
Yuki frowned. "But... but it was quite obvi-" Dipper turned to give the Alien a particularly trying stare, "Ohh, yes. Sarcasm. I do understand."
"I think over there is where you sign up," Dipper pointed to a large desk set up by the stage, trying to catch Mabel's attention. "Mabel!" Dipper shouted to her. She was too enamored with looking at the decorations being hung up around street lamps and the sides of buildings.
She whipped to him. "I heard you grumpy-dumpy!"
"I will leave you the two of you to your mission. I have work your grand-uncle requires of me. Good luck," he waved to them before turning and walking away, heading back down the street, eyeing the buildings as he passed. As he passed someone, his attention was broken. As he had done before, he nervously adjusted his hat before continuing to meander.
Mabel, walking up to her brother, asked, "You think he will be okay?"
"I have the feeling he may be hiding in an alleyway later, but I hope he'll be okay," Dipper shrugged, "We'll go find him after we sign us and Soos up."
"Yeah!" Mabel ruffled Dipper's head for a moment and they turned and started for the desk.
Somewhere in the transition from moving from the car to a few lonely looking attendants by the desk, someone had come striding out from behind the stage and made an unintentional line straight for the twins. The woman, flanked by two other women, had her face in a note-clip, and was telling them figures. Dipper, spying the approaching girl, scowled. Quietly, he grumbled, "Of course."
" – and we have the right amount of provided drinks, so just make sure those idiots actually bring the vouchers, or they don't get soda," the blonde girl told the two next to her hurriedly, "And then when the announcer arrives-"
"He's here," the darker skinned girl told her quickly as they rapidly approached a watching Dipper and Mabel.
"Good. Get him to run into the back of the stage and get measured. He needs a fitted piece for this show-" She collided with Mabel, who had been watching her with a wide smile.
"Oof!" Mabel exaggerated the noise of the impact as the blond girl slammed into her first, and stumbled back.
"Hey!" she growled, pulling aside the clipboard and pushing the carefully tended bangs out from her eyes, "Watch where you're going!" she shouted at Dipper and Mabel before moving past them and mumbling, "I swear people just don't watch where they are going. I need to make that a law when I'm a senator."
"Actually," Mabel spun, a grin on her face, "It's legal to go where you want without looking! I legalized everything! Forever!" she declared loudly, stopping the leading figure in her tracks. Dipper eyed his sister's enthusiasm as she stared at the back of the trio. The followers, each with their fashionable selection of clothing and all of it color-coordinated, spun and stared at Mabel. The lead, with perfect hairdo that flowed down to the middle of her back, turned and looked at Mabel. "Hi Pacifica!" Mabel beamed and waved her hand.
The blond haired, blue eyed, rich girl of Gravity Falls said nothing. Her face was entirely unreadable, if you remembered that Pacifica often looked like someone who had just stepped on something unpleasant. Her hand seemed to nervously play with the edge of her designer shirt, the same kind of strong hot pink colors the twins remembered her wearing three years ago blazed off her clothing. Her friends checked with her as Pacifica Northwest eyed Mabel and Dipper, still saying nothing.
"It's-a me," Mabel reached inside her sweater pocket, pulled out a stick-on mustache, and slapped it onto her face, "a-Mabel!" Mabel grinned and held her arms to her sides dramatically. The blonde still said nothing. Mabel chuckled, "You know," Mabel slowly let her arms drop to the side as she stopped using the silly accent, "We were mini-golf partners for a bit? My brother helped out with the ghost stuff? Uh... we met at a dance off?" Mabel asked disappointedly, the girl's blank eyes still staring down at her.
Impatience seemed to be Pacifica's spirit animal. "How long ago was it?" Pacifica asked as soon as Mabel seemed done speaking.
"Three years!" Mabel answered happily, "We became kinda-friends-"
Gladly, it seemed, Pacifica cut her off. "Yeah, sorry," Pacifica pushed past her two friends and approached the twins, "I'm sure you thought we were cool or, whatever," Pacifica shook her head as she eyed the two of them, "But I make it a personal mission to only like people with... a sense of style," she said, rolling her eyes at Mabel's sweater, and then Dipper's entire body. "Not to mention I cut out people I don't see past a few months."
The brunette twin's eyes dropped as quickly as her happy grin. Not only was she back to bad, she didn't even remember Mabel's interactions with her. All that work to make her act like a normal human being, gone down the drain of time.
"But, but we fought off the Lilliputtians together," Mabel struggled to regain her lost energy. "That was life or death. You don't even remember that?"
"Ha," Pacifica brushed the hair behind her head with a quick flick of her hand, "What? Lillipuddies? Lilly-pads? What?" her friends laughed as she snorted. "Listen, uh, Maple," Pacifica stared at Dipper as well as she said this, "I want to make it clear to you two, I'm not interested in knowing, or interacting, with people who can't distinguish burgundy and dark bordo, okay?"
Mabel frowned, and turned to her brother. "Isn't Bordo a comedian?" Mabel asked Dipper.
"That's Groucho, actually," Dipper informed her quietly.
"Either way," Pacifica loudly said, "If you two want to sign up for the talent show, whatever," Pacifica told them, "Just make sure you're not doing a fashion display. I don't see much talent there," she sneered and quickly flipped around, and marched off with her snickering friends.
Staring at the teenager with vitriol, Dipper shook off his anger. "Well, that confirms it," Dipper said while shaking his head, "That is one person I would not save from a giant spider. Right Mabel?" he asked. Mabel didn't answer, and he turned to face her. She had moved away, and was leaning on the front of his car, hands in her pocket, staring at the ground. "Mabel?" Dipper tried again, approaching her.
"I thought I was a better friend than that," Mabel grumbled to the ground.
"You- what?" Dipper spluttered, pulling off his hat and scratching his scalp.
Mabel let out a defeated sigh. "When I met Pacifica," Mabel told him, "I knew she was a lost soul of the world. And I was certain I could get her to be a normal human being if I tried hard enough," Mabel explained, "And... I sort of gave up, yeah," Mabel shrugged, "But you try befriending that, but even smaller and higher pitched."
He rolled his eyes. "Well, I think you know how I feel about that, "he reminded her, "I wouldn't if my life required it."
Giving him an apologetic smirk, Mabel admitted, "I just thought that after I finally started getting through to her, maybe she could keep at it on her own? I don't know," Mabel reached up and ripped off her mustache, and threw it onto the ground, "It was all for nothing in the end."
"Wow," Dipper stepped down and picked up the mustache, "This is worth throwing a mustache to the ground for?" Mabel shrugged and sniffled lightly. "C'mon Mabes," Dipper tried with her, leaning on the car next to her, "She's... a jerk, sure, but you can't be angry at yourself for this."
"I'm a horrible manners coach," Mabel told him, grabbed his own hat, and pulled it over her face. "For all I know, Waddles is a monstrous person and likes to roast babies alive."
"He doesn't," Dipper rolled his eyes and slowly pulled off his hat from her, "Mabel, she's lived in that crazy mansion on the hill for the past three years with that crazy family. Maybe it's hard to be a nice person when you don't have to be, you know?" he tried explaining, "She's got that super-rich family that can solve everything, so..." His words weren't reaching Mabel. Dipper nudged her shoulder and she relented. She looked to him. He couldn't help but want to help those beaten eyes. Saying something he did not believe, he suggested, "Maybe she's just having a bad day."
"Yeah," Mabel sighed, and pushed herself off the car, "I guess it's not too bad."
Giving himself a small mental back-pat for helping out his sister, He leaned off the car as well. "Let's go talk to those nicer looking people," Dipper told her, pointing to the bored looking people by the desk. Mabel nodded and sighed, still down, but certainly not dragging her feet now. "Hey!" Dipper called to the desk, "We were hoping you could tell us about the talent show?"
Those at desk, a woman just past middle-age and a young adult, stared at the twins. They looked like they had missed one too many coffee breaks. "John, they're yours," the older of the two, the woman, said. The man named John, who looked to be just a few years older than the twins, groaned and nodded.
He looked down to his folder, which was open. "In order to sign, you must sign your name and put down a name to your talent/performance," he told them as grumpily as a human being could muster, "And if you're under eighteen, fill out a waiver with..." he looked to the pages next to him, and then glared back at the twins, "Just sign your name. The Northwests don't care who signs up."
"Really?" Dipper asked as Mabel shrugged and started signing hers and Soos's name. "Why don't they? Shouldn't you want to make sure-"
"Listen kid," the older woman leaned over, "the Northwests have about as much money as the rest of this town combined, and then have more to spare. They just throw enough at something and problems go away. Besides, their kid will probably win," she admitted as she leaned back.
Dipper scowled. Mabel asked, after signing, "Why? Is she talented?"
"It wouldn't matter if she was or not," the woman told them, "The judges are family friends of the Northwest. The only two positions they actually have to vote on are second and third place." Dipper gasped and stammered angrily. "Yeah," the woman nodded.
Dipper was about ready to tear into them, verbally of course. "Are you kidding-"
"Thanks for the info!" Mabel told them, and pulled back her angry brother away from the stagnantly dull duo by the desk.
"That's... so stupid!" Dipper growled, "There's no point to this if they automatically give her first place!"
Mabel, despite her attempts at maintaining peace, clearly was bummed by his news too. "I guess having money does give you everything there is in the world," Mabel sighed. They approached their cars, and the two of them equally distressed, leaned on the hood, their arms crossed. Standing there for a few solid minutes, the two of them vented silently, watching construction workers from Weytani-Yuland run around, building what they had been commissioned for.
"So, are you still going to sign up?" Mabel asked her brother after a few minutes.
"No."
"Awww, c'mon bro!" she nudged his arm, "It could be fun! Forget their stupid reward. I just want to show off! It's the whole reason for talent shows in the first place – to brag about yourself without judgement," Mabel told him wisely, "So forget any reward!"
"I doubt I have any talent that could get me on that stage," he huffily admitted. "I'm not flashy or anything like that. Best I could do would be wrangle a gemloblin, and I'm not sure bringing monsters to town is the best call."
Mabel hummed. "Then... maybe we should do it together," Mabel suggested.
"Huh? How?"
"Umm... what can you do a million times better than me?" she asked him earnestly.
Dipper gave a moment to think, uncertain. There were many things that could be measured he was better than her at, aside from common sense. Ultimately, he settled on the one that he thought as his most likely candidate. "I guess... math," he said.
"Hmm... I totally want to do something with the Paths," Mabel told him excitedly, "So if we can find something to do that involves them both-" Mabel gasped, and leapt off the car, "I got it!"
"Yeah?" Dipper smiled as her energy infected him.
"We let the audience come up with a crazy math problem you solve, and then in order to select the numbers and stuff, we have to hit them with path-technique! Like, we put the number nine up somewhere," Mabel painted the picture, stepping back, "And in order to use nine, one of us would have to do the Baton-Kick," she then demonstrated, leaping high into the air, spinning twice, and kicking at the invisible object above her, easily seven feet up, and landing perfectly, "And boom! Now math is crazy cool!"
"That does sound like something that could be cool," Dipper agreed, scratching his still growing stubble of facial hair, "But I'm not... sure I could pull that off Mabel."
"Dude, leave odds to me. You get the evens," she winked at him
Dipper laughed. "And Zero? Are we counting zero as even?" he asked her, and she blew a raspberry and shrugged. "Okay, I'll handle the math parts. I'm in."
"Yes!" Mabel leapt at him and hugged him quickly. "Let's go find Yuki and tell him what we're going to do!"
Smiling, and a tad more content with the unfairness of the world, the twins started off from the car, Dipper making sure it was locked before leaving it be. It was a busy Friday in Gravity Falls, as the town was clearly excited and bustling about with energy to match Mabel. The twins at one point spotted Tambry, walking out from a salon and heading towards a parking spot. Ultimately, they decided against saying hello.
"I think she technically only remembers meeting her for the second time," Dipper reminded Mabel, who wanted to ensure she was okay, "Since, you know, she was still a robot at the time."
"I know, I know," Mabel moaned, "but still..."
"Relax. She's on her phone again and looks normal enough to me," Dipper told her with a smile, "She's fine."
"She better be," Mabel grumbled, "We chased her through the woods and in a car to make sure she's okay. Speaking of okay, how far have we moved across town?" Mabel asked as he looked around.
"Why? What does that have to do with being okay?" Dipper questioned her.
"I still haven't spotted Yuki," she said worriedly.
The two paused, half way down the middle of the two primary roads through Gravity Falls. Indeed, while there was plenty of folk walking around easily and happily on the sunny day, there was no sight of the dark-skinned and nervous looking teenager-alien. Dipper's mind went straight for what he had said, and he checked the closest alleyway. No alien was sadly brooding alone, so he checked across the street. "Where do you think he's gone to?" Dipper asked.
A voice from behind called out to them, "Here." Dipper and Mabel spun around. Standing by the doorway of the Library, Yuki was glancing to them, and then looking across the street.
"Yuki? What are you-"
"To cover first, my friends," he told them waving them over quickly.
The twins hurried over, and also leaned against the hallway with him. "Yuki, what are you doing?" Mabel asked as they followed up behind him, peering past him as Dipper looked inside the library briefly.
"I was making a successful study of feasible locations for your grand-uncles' advertisements," he started while looking away, across the street, "And then happened upon a... well, an umbrous figure," Yuki told them, pointing now.
"A what?" Dipper and Mabel asked, and leaned out, staring across the street.
Standing in the mild shadows between the salon and an office was a figure. The twins had totally passed over it previously when they spotted Tambry, and Mabel scolded herself for not noticing the person before. Thin, tall, and hooded, the person was staring at the talent show construction silently and still. With a twitch of movement, the hood turned and looked right at them, and the three pulled back with a yelp.
"Is it him?" Yuki asked them, "the Warlock you have mentioned?"
"I don't know," Mabel admitted, rubbing her forehead, "I didn't get a look at his face."
"Who else do we know who skulks around in shadows with a hood, in the middle of the day, in the middle of June?" Dipper asked the two of them. They both shrugged and Dipper nodded. "Exactly." The three slowly craned their heads back out, peering back across the street to their target.
That said individual had just vanished.
"Dang," Dipper grunted as he stepped out from his hiding spot. He tried peaking around the corner to get a better view. "He's gone."
"I would suggest this be for the better, but..." Yuki looked between them, "It is clear he intends to do you harm if he is choosing to remain within the town."
"At least he's dumb with his looks," Mabel pointed out, "A hoodie? We'll be able to spot him instantly. Unless Gravity Falls has a 'hoodie' day in the middle of the summer," she added as she stepped out with her brother. Then a more sinister fear struck her. "Dipper, Soos said that the Talent Show is a big chance for everyone to come out, and it's really popular, right?"
"Yeah?" Dipper turned to her, and then her worried look infected him, "It's tomorrow... and he wasn't looking at us, was he?"
"The figure was peering to the construction," Yuki told them, and then he too gasped, "Would it be correct to assume he plans to move against the event?"
"Why?" Dipper asked the two of them, "He said he does stuff for power. Why would he attack a town holiday? Just to spark fear or something?"
"I don't know," Mabel waved out her hands, and accidentally smacked someone in the face as they left the Library, who shrieked and dropped a pair of books in her arms. "Oh! I'm so sorry-"
"Ow! Careful!"
The twins nearly jumped back. The insulted face belonged to none other than Pacifica Northwest. She held her face in her hands, and then adjusted her nose carefully before peering at Mabel.
"Oh... it's you again," Pacifica scowled, letting her hand drop from her mildly offended nose.
Mabel worriedly asked, "Are you okay? I didn't discombobulate you, did I?" Pacifica scoffed and lowered herself to pick up her books. Yuki had, the moment the books dropped, kneeled down to collect some, and Mabel lowered herself as well, grasping the one closest to her. Mabel studied the title, and nodded. "Wow, management and people handling, huh?" Mabel asked.
Pacifica snatched it from her hands. "Part of being a Northwest is responsibility. I'm partially responsible for putting up this talent show, so I'd appreciate if you losers could please stop running into me!" she snapped.
"It was an honest mistake, ma'am," Yuki quickly put it calmly, holding out Pacifica's' books, "Mabel meant no offense."
"I..." Pacifica looked to Yuki. There was a sudden look of confusion as she spied him, the man collecting a pile of books. He noticed her studying him, and he worriedly held onto his hat. Pacifica, an eyebrow cocked, asked, "Who are you supposed to be?"
With a terribly audible gulp, he stood up and announced, "I am Uki-Dohth."
"What are you, Japanese or something?" she asked him.
"Uh... I am, Japanese, uh, Canadian. I'm not from around here, no," Yuki slowly said, looking to Dipper and Mabel first, and they nodded.
Pacifica snorted. She took the books from him. "Whatever. Tell Mabel and Dipper to just stay out of my way, if you could? Thanks, bye now," she grumbled and walked alone past Dipper.
Mabel shook her head, but then gasped, and followed her briefly. "Pacifica!" she shouted, catching the blond's attention yet again, who whipped around to face her, glowering. Mabel exclaimed, "You do remember us!"
"Excuse me?" the rich blond asked.
Mabel, wiggling a finger in the air, explained, "I never said Dipper's name when we met over by the stage."
Pacifica blinked, her mouth half open as she stared at the brunette. Dipper chuckled, and even nudged Mabel's shoulder in a congratulatory acknowledgement. Apparently, this put a high amount of strain on Pacifica's interest to turn around and leave them, as she turned half way to retreat, but stopped. Clutching at the pile of books with intense force, she let out an pained groan. She did turn back to them, storming over. "You two should not have come back!" she hissed to them both in a quiet tone. "Why couldn't you have just stayed out of Gravity Falls, huh!?"
"Wh-what?!" the twins demanded of her.
"Puh-lease," Pacifica snorted, "You two are the epitome of trouble. I don't know how, or why, or... or anything about what causes it, but when you two show up, weird things start happening!" she accused, pointing at Mabel, "The last time we were together – you remember what happened! And you," she eyed Dipper like she saw a man who slew her family, "I don't even want to start," she scowled.
"Is that why you lied?" Mabel asked timidly.
Pacifica laughed and back up. "Oh, sorry," she sardonically said, "Since the last time we hung out was, I dunno, distracting a bunch of gross, sweaty people from kicking over your dumb little Mystery Hack? I'm not really interesting in hanging out with dorks who endanger my life with weird stuff!"
There was a darkness in Dipper as he listened to Pacifica. "We're not doing anything weird," Dipper defended his sister quickly, his tone dangerous.
Perhaps his seething anger registered with Pacifica. While it didn't necessarily scare her, she re-focused on him. "Right, sure," Pacifica nodded while glaring at him, "I'm sure you know all about how not to be weird, huh?"
"We just happen to notice the stuff you 'simple folk' can't pick up," Dipper put accented fingers on the words 'simple folk'. Pacifica tensed up and her nostrils flared. Dipper, with a wicked smile, added, "Sorry if we open your eyes once in a while to problems you can't just fix with money!"
"Ha, that's funny," Pacifica leered at Dipper, "Tell me, how's that nerd-life going for you? Dating? No? Lonely at night still?"
Dipper's cheeks went red and he clenched his fists. "Yeah, you look like you're just brimming with guy love," Dipper growled at her through clenched teeth.
"Being actually good-looking helps," Pacifica easily told him.
Dipper laughed bitterly. "It must be nice to know that all you have to do is show up to a talent show and pay everyone under the table to get the trophy," he said.
"Not that I couldn't," Pacifica told him, "But I won't need to. I, unlike yourself, am talented at things people actually like."
Mabel leapt inbetween the two of them. Between her eagerness to defuse the growing argument, she saw Yuki watching this escalate. The alien looked right about ready to cry. Mabel asked, "So, you are going to compete? What are you going to do?"
"Mind your own business," she snapped at Mabel, who frowned.
"Oh, c'mon Pacifica, lighten up," Mabel sighed, "I'm just asking."
"She wouldn't tell," Dipper added, catching their eyes, "Probably something she's embarrassed about."
To Dipper's credit, his reverse psychology worked wonders; her face grew slightly red and she seemed to almost let off steam. "I will be doing a dance number with my dog to a song while I play that song on the flute," she said in a forcibly level way.
"Awww!" Mabel said, tapping Dipper's shoulder, "C'mon, that's kind of cute!"
Yuki nodded, his eyes shining. "You have trained your canine to perform choreography while you partake and perform the same piece?" Yuki inquired. Pacifica looked side to side, perhaps trying to take in everything he had said. When she found he had said nothing offending, she nodded. He added, "Interesting. I should like to see this. Canid and human – err – personal trainer relationships are fascinating."
Mabel quickly started explaining, "Dipper and I are-"
"Wait, wait, wait," Pacifica stepped closer, glancing between the twins, "You two aren't actually going to be in the competition, are you?"
"Uh... yeah?" Mabel said worriedly. Pacifica dropped her books and quickly reached inside a pocket. Without a second to spare, she threw at them fifty dollars each. "Whaaaat? What's this all for?" Mabel stared at the blonde girl as she held up the two impressive dollar bills, and Pacifica then pointed a finger at them.
"If you two join, I know something stupid, or crazy, or insane will happen and the talent show will be ruined!" she shouted, "It's my responsibility to put it up, and I don't need you two coming over to destroy it! Consider this a bribe to stay the heck away."
Feeling the dollar in his hand, Dipper demanded of Pacifica, "What makes you think we bring crazy stuff around with us?" He spotted something sticking out from her back pocket, "what's that you have there?"
"A flute," she groaned, and whipped it around. The flute was dark and polished, with sort of marble like texture about it. "I needed something more flashy, so I found this guy selling this antique flute. Is there a problem? Was your dad killed by a flute?" she mocked Dipper.
Dumb insult or not, it got at Dipper. "I bet you're terrible at it," Dipper retorted.
Pacifica laughed, and placed it to her lips, and blew air. To Dipper's disappointment but Mabel and Yuki's shock, a beautiful line of music flowed from the end of the flute. People in the street actually stopped as Pacifica played her instrument. A few pointed and listened as Pacifica, swaying back and forth, played the music with the flute. She closed her eyes. Yuki was mesmerized. She seemed at peace. Though upset at how wrong he was to doubt her skill, Dipper couldn't help but appreciate how good she was. It was so seamless, note to note.
It wasn't until a few moments later when Pacifica looked down and screamed, almost dropping her flute and leapt up into the air a good three feet. Dart little dots were covering the ground, crawling towards the four of them. A horde of spiders had begun to crawl their way to her, almost started climbing on her boots. In an embarrassed rage, she stomped her foot again and again on the ground, scattering the fleeing spiders back to the shadows.
"Careful!" Yuki shouted, "You could kill them!"
"That's the idea!" she shouted as the last of them scattered. Her hair had become slightly wilder as she stomped, breathing heavily and glaring at the twins. They looked just as shocked at the appearance of the spiders as she had. "See!?" she roared at them, "Weird stuff! You show up, and it all starts happening again!" she added with an exasperated cry.
A little shaken at the sight of the arachnids, Dipper rounded back at Pacifica. "Right, because we totally just made a thousand spiders show up, and it wasn't you playing the music," Dipper pointed out to her. He stared at the pretty flute, and squinted.
Pacifica snorted. "How does that make sense?!" she demanded, "Music is nice, but it doesn't, like, charm animals!"
Mabel seemed to catch Dipper's thought. "Unless... the flute is enchanted," Mabel looked to Dipper slowly, who gasped and nodded. He then turned to Pacifica, having lost his need to argue with her.
"Where did you get the flute?" he quickly demanded.
"I bought it, duh," Pacifica quickly placed it away. "It's supposed to be really good."
"Who did you buy it off of?" Dipper tried again.
"Why-"
Mabel added with the questions. "Pacifica, was it a guy? Just a little older than us?" Mabel tried. The blue-eyed blond rolled her eyes. Mabel honed in on details, "Blond hair? Smelled? Starting looking like he was swallowing cactus before each thing he said?" Mabel asked as well. Pacifica gasped, re-adjusted her books, and stormed away. "Wait! Pacifica!" Mabel tried again, but the blond was leaving them too quickly. "Shootles!"
"Okay," Dipper announced with as much gloom as he could, "It's totally the warlock she got the flute from. I'm just assuming here," Dipper turned to the two of them, "But she ran away as soon as Mabel mentioned that weird look he gets after talking a lot. Do you think he sold her that flute?" Dipper asked the other two.
Mabel gasped. "Yeah! If he wants to cause fear, what if he put a spell on it?" And she looked around, scanning for the dangerous man.
Yuki eyed the ground where Pacifica had nearly stomped at the spiders. "It would appear that small arachnids are drawn to the music," Yuki noted, "If she were to go on stage, and played the flute so consistently, it is feasible to predict a swarm of substantial size may appear amidst the crowd."
Dipper crossed his arm, patting his own journal under his arm. "So... he sold a flute to her... so the town got freaked out by the spiders?" Dipper asked the other two, shaking his head. "That doesn't seem right. He sent a Tulpa after us. That could have turned into a dinosaur for all we knew and it would have killed us."
"And you said it earlier dude," Mabel pointed out to Dipper, "He wants power, right? Some crazy teenager mad-power-trip. Fiddlesticks!" she declared, "It doesn't make sense!"
"Yuki," Dipper turned to their friend, "You're done here, right?" Dipper asked. The Alien nodded. Dipper decided, "I think we should go back to the Manor: tell everyone what we think. Mabel," Dipper looked to his sister, "You're thinking what I'm thinking, right?"
She nodded. "No bribe," she and Dipper handed the money to Yuki, who eyed the money with contempt, "We're going to that talent show."
NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!
PACIFICA NORTHWEST! -VS- MABEL & DIPPER PINES!
BEGIN!
Okay, no, no, that's not going to happen. Eh. Yet? Maybe? I dunno.
But there you guys are! The Gravity Falls Talent Show! You guys all had some interesting bets as to what Bragging Rights were all about, but I got very few 'the twins work together' guesses. Glad I can keep you all on your toes.
For the most part... ;)
But that's all for this week! Next time we get to see the twins in action, Soos perform his own bit of talent, some of the outrageous things people in Gravity Falls can do, and, of course, what is coming to miss Pacifica Northwest.
Now, for my dramatic exit. Ahem. EAGLE! (A powerful cry of an eagle echoes through EZB's room, and he looks up to the ceiling, expecting a humongous bird to swoop in and carry him away. Nothing happens.) Huh. EAGLE! (Still nothing.) Uh... Eagles? (The entire American Football team of the Philadelphia Eagles charge through the walls and tackle EZB, burying him under the colossal weight of many burly men.)