"We now return to 'Ducktective: The Movie," the television blared loudly.
"Yes!" Mabel cheered as she leaned on the floor. She sprawled out on a pillow, next to the lazy boy chair next to her, her pig sprawled next to her. Dipper, who had taken to the sofa, sat cross-legged as he poured over his own journal, and Great-Uncle Fords second journal. He scribbled notes onto a smaller note-pad nearby. He glared at his sister's loud burst, but said nothing. Mabel called out, "Yuki! It's back on!" to the hallway.
A moment later, as the programming on the television continued, Yuki poked his head through the door. He watched the screen for a moment. "Indeed, it is," he agreed, one of his eyebrows twitching as he observed the show, "I still do not understand the appeal in watching a fowl conduct investigative behavior."
"Oink," Waddles noted.
"Shhh," Mabel pointed to him, and turned back to watch, "It's the middle of the movie."
"Quack, quack," Ducktective the duck, a white feathered bird with a single cap atop his head uttered to a mole standing before him, both overlooking a tall cliff. At the bottom of the screen, subtitles appeared, saying, 'Mole-iarty, this game of cat and mouse needs to end'.
The mole, wearing a long black coat with a large monocle before its eye, uttered a series of squeaks and snorts, which were translated as, 'The game only ends until the tail of either are caught, my old nemesis. Soon, all fair will be... fowl'.
"QUACK!" Ducktective quacked, and then lunged at the mole. The subtitles only read as 'You've gone too far!'.
"I am most perplexed," Yuki admitted.
Mabel snorted. "Then you're thinking too hard," Mabel told him, eating up every moment of the blockbuster movie that came out two years ago.
Yuki took a step into the room, indicating towards the television. "But how do we truly know what the duck is saying? Is there a psychic who can translate avid and rodent into English? Human technology and physiological adaptation must have advanced far more than I thought," Yuki scratched his head, removing his cap and letting his leaf-like extensions breathe.
With his own small chuckle, Dipper added in a mutter, "You are definitely thinking too much about this."
"I take it that's an expression," Yuki added, shaking his head as he started to turn away, "I do not know how one 'thinks too hard'."
From behind Yuki, Grunkle Stan shoved past and walked into the room, scooping up the remote from Mabel's cupped hands. "Hey!" she protested as Stan turned around and clicked at the TV, where the movie was replaced by a news broadcast.
Stan, walking back to the lazyboy, stood before the television. "Shush," he told his grand-niece, "This is actually something important," he told her with a grumble. He added with a loud call to the hallway, "Soos! Wendy! Get in here!"
As the two called stepped in, along with Yuki, the six stood around the TV. A newscast was beginning. A tall, sharp-chinned, and curvy looking woman with long, wavy brown hair began to report.
"Good morning Gravity Falls, I'm Shandra Jimenez with an update on the most talked about event this year so far," she stood before the convention center which was clearly under repairs. Men along scaffolding walked about, wearing safety caps and carrying construction materials. In the distance, a large man with red hair helped lift bags of concrete to workers on scaffolding next to him. Shandra continued, "We're here, with what is left after the disastrous failure of the Gravity Falls Business Convention, held by local richer-than-you family, the Northwests."
"Wait, was that filmed?" Dipper gasped, replacing his seat with his journal and notepad.
"No way dude," Wendy replied to him, staring at the TV, "No one cared about that thing until all your stuff went down." She stood next to Dipper, and though she cast him a quick, casual glance, Dipper pointed looked away.
The voice in the TV continued, "While not many of us truly cared about the events within," Shandra spoke candidly, "Half way through the day, a calamity stroke! The visiting representatives' lives were put at risk. That is, until the culprit of the attacks, one 'Graupner Kinley'–" an image of the Warlock, now in orange prisoner jumpsuit as he held up his inmate ID, flashed before them, "–Was arrested, and put behind bars."
"Yeah!" Mabel cheered happily, leaping into the air. From next to her, Dipper, Soos, and Yuki all gave her high-fives in regards to their performance. Mabel allowed Waddles also a high five, which he bopped with his nose.
"Quiet," Stan told them his eyes fixed, "This part," he pointed to the reporter.
"Yet new light has been casted onto the events: that Mister Kinley was not alone in this course against the convention," Shandra explained, and the TV flashed to a recording of police leaving the Gravity Falls station, along with a dark-skinned man in a bow tie, "As an investigation has undergone the whole event. We were able to speak with one Omir Steindorf, who has taken a personal interest in the whole situation."
The recording changed: it was now before Omir Steindorf, the turbo-wealthy billionaire. "As it stands, the businesses who attended will not seek to expand their companies into this area, and for good reason," Omir said to the camera, his voice authoritative and commanding as he looked around to the various microphones, and a single misplaced turkey baster, "If people like Mister Kinley are able to roam at will and cause the amount of financial destruction as he did, there is no reasonable way this town will ever see further improvement. The risk for such endeavors is too great."
"Whoa," Dipper gasped, looking to his sister, "That's pretty harsh."
"But what troubles me more is this," Steindorf continued to speak, looking at the camera, "Is that this objective of his, of Graupner's, was far too well organized for one man. Though we do not have the motive to his actions, we are under the suspicion that two are involved, if not more. Until we come to terms with this mystery and justice is delivered, I advise any and all to stay out of Gravity Falls. It is clearly a dangerous town."
"Oh, wow," Wendy gasped, her mouth falling open.
Soos looked hurt by this decision. "Stay out of Gravity Falls?" Soos repeated, "But, like, no one really gets hurt... right?" he asked around, to which no reply came.
Shandra Jimenez had more on the matter to say. "Mister Steindorf, the owner of the multi-billion-dollar industrial corporation 'Steindorf and Co'," Shandra was back on screen, walking around the site, examining the wreckage, "Has stated that he will be overseeing the investigation personally. The Steindorf Co will also be overseeing the re-construction of the convention center; a joint effort by the Northwest family. Remember: report any and all suspicious activity to the county police. Stay safe, Gravity Falls. Up next, the weather report- hot days are ahead! Dress for the sun!"
Grunkle Stan clicked the remote power button, and his television turned off. He tossed the remote to the side. Ringing silence and the dying static buzz of the television shyly reverberated in their ears. Breaking the silence, Stan sighed and put a hand to his eyes, massaging the bridge of his nose. "This isn't going to be good for business around here," Stan admitted with a gravelly voice.
Dipper frowned. "I think the shack should be the least of our concerns," Dipper reminded his Grunkle, shaking his head.
"That's Manor to you!" Grunkle Stan whipped around, pointing at him. "And I'm not just talking about the building, or heck, making money here," Grunkle Stan said with a warning. "I'm talking about our safety."
Wendy eyed him, folding her arms, "Really?" she asked.
Yuki looked elevated by Stan's concerns. "This is a new side to your, Stan," Yuki said with a small smile.
Stan glared at Yuki. "Quiet! Look, I believe that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger," Stan said around, holding a hand to Soos' and Dipper's shoulder, "But to get stronger, you actually have to survive first!"
Soos nodded in agreement, "Right, there's that little important part."
"What are you saying then?" Dipper asked.
Stan scratched at his neck. "Well, since the Gleefuls walked out of town, it's been quieter around here. With this Graupner character busting up entire buildings just to scare people away from town, things are getting dangerous," Stan told them, "I'm not saying anything yet. Just be careful, okay? I know we like taking a risk here or there, but really. No more running off to fight a monster unless we're all together, or you know exactly what you're up against."
"Really?" Mabel asked.
"Yeah, really," Stan said, and added, "Just tell me if and when more of this Graupner stuff comes up, and I'll, I dunno, punch him hard, or something."
Mabel had stars in her eyes. "You're in on this now?" she squeaked.
"If we think it's dangerous, yeah, I'm there," Stan told them with a grunt. Mabel bounced over to him, clutching her arms around his sides, applying an ungodly amount of pressure. "Ow! Mabel, sweetheart!" Mabel let go, her wide smile from ear to ear. Despite the deathgrip he suffered, Grunkle Stan just laughed. "God, you remind me of me," he told her.
"I do a better job at shaving my body hair than you!" Mabel admitted.
Stan looked very distant suddenly. "Well, if there isn't anything else I didn't want to hear from you lot," Grunkle Stan shook his head and clapped Yuki's shoulder, "Soos, you and Yuki are going to work on my car engine next."
Soos almost leapt with excitement. "Aw, cool! El Diablo is getting a re-haul!" Soos pumped the air as Yuki groaned.
"No!" Stan held out his hands urgently, "Cool your jets! Just the engine," he said, and pointed at Soos, "No decals. Ever."
"Staying old-school classy. Got it, Mister Pines," Soos nodded.
Waddles squealed, and gnawed on the carpet edge.
"Yay," Yuki said, a bitter tone to his voice, "More chances to make my hands filthy with combustion engines. Just what I wanted."
"Glad you're excited," Stan told him, patting him on his back as he led them away.
"That was an attempt at sarcasm," Yuki muttered as he left the room with the two.
Left alone with her brother and Wendy, Mabel admitted, "I feel kind of bad for those two. They were just as important three days ago."
"Yeah," Dipper nodded as he glanced to his sister, "They ought to get a break. Stan should lay off."
Wendy chortled at his comment. "Dude, you know Stan," Wendy shrugged as she leaned on the borders of the doorway, watching the trio of men leave, "If it works, use it until it drops. That includes people."
"But without those two, we may never have caught Graupner," Mabel argued, "They should get a little more praise."
Wendy bobbed her head in almost a nod. "Sometimes, I think the only praise Stan gives out is when he's beaten by someone," Wendy suggested. "Unless Stan decides to start throwing punches at Yuki, he'll never fight back," she informed them with a sigh. "Then again, at least you guys did totally rock."
"Aw, shucks," Mabel turned her face away, waving a hand for Wendy to stop the compliments in her mimicry of coyness. Dipper just shrugged and walked over to his seat, lifting the journals back into his lap with his notepad.
Wendy seemed stunned. "What?" she asked, eying the studious teen, "Dipper the brave isn't getting a say on this?" Wendy asked, on the edge of laughing. Mabel, a little stunned herself, quickly analyzed her brother. She was starting to detect something like… grumpiness. Dipper just shrugged again, and peered into the journal. Wendy must have realized Dipper was focused, as she then added, "Ohhh, already onto something more important." She strode over to Dipper. Once she was next to him, he tensed up. Dipper slowly pushed the note-pad out of sight as she stood next to him. "What's the next thing?" she continued, eying his own journal, "Trying to figure out how to punch god?"
"Uh," Dipper looked between her and Mabel.
With a burst of clarity, Mabel understood Dipper's fear: there was something he didn't want to show to her. Another time, Mabel may have exploited him for a giggle, but not today. He looked just a little too uncomfortable for a laugh. "Uh, hey Wendy," Mabel blurted out, catching the red-head's attention, "Could you be super-mega-awesome and check the mail for us? Got a sneaking suspicion we got... stuff."
"Yeah, sure dude," Wendy shrugged and walked off, turning back for two 'finger-gun' pointers at Dipper and Mabel before vanishing down the hall. Alone for the moment, Mabel sighed and fell back to the floor, where Waddles strode next to her, ready to lick her face. Dipper had also sighed, but huffed afterwards, and pushed the journal and notepad back into his face.
Mabel rolled over and grasped the tossed away remote. As she reverse-rolled to be in front of the TV, she asked Dipper, "Still looking for answers?"
"And getting nowhere," he grumbled, picking at his nose heatedly.
"Dang dude," Mabel crossed her arms, puffing out her lip as she thought, "Who would have thought that some of our next mysteries would be about our friends?" To this, Dipper said nothing. Mabel continued as she absentmindedly patted Waddles, "I guess it's one of those weird things that happens only as you get older, you know? Mood swings here and there, hair starts growing in stupid places, people begin to expect adult-results but don't treat you like adults," Mabel listed and sighed, "And now, there are mysteries of people we thought we once knew."
"It's just annoying," Dipper grumbled, slapping shut his own journal in a loud clap. "I've been close with Wendy for, like, ever. Okay, so we weren't pen-pals or anything," Dipper tacked on and continued, "But if someone hides a secret in town, it's always crazy!"
"Soos' secret wasn't crazy," Mabel pointed out, pushed herself around to face Dipper, "Having bad birthday mojo seems sorta normal."
"One case is the exception, not the rule!" Dipper retorted, pushing himself from the chair, and coming to stand next to his sister. He lowered his voice as he pulled out his note-pad. "I've been making a formal list of things that Wendy could have gotten involved with, based on what little we do know."
Mabel groaned. "Dipper, c'mon-"
"First," Dipper continued, spewing out his theories in a hush, "She's gotten involved with some sort of supernatural cult, which Robbie may have been involved with. It would explain why Midian-"
"The witch," Mabel said.
"-would have been an asset to Robbie. He mentioned that to Wendy in their little secret meet-up. Second, she's in league with a possible group of supernatural creatures, in a bad way."
"Isn't that basically the first?" Mabel asked as Dipper paced around her.
"Kind of. Unlike a cult, these creatures may have different goals than humans – like the fairies from earlier this summer. Or gnomes! What if she owes the gnomes something, and she's actually a slave to them?"
"That would be horrible!" Mabel gasped, "Jeff is a huge jerk! He'd probably force her to be his make-shift royal steed and ride her into battle. He's a sick man," she added with a groan.
"And then... what I'm afraid for," Dipper gulped and looked directly at Mabel as he read aloud the final possibility on the chart, to which Mabel stared at him, "Possibility number three... she's not Wendy at all."
"What!?" Mabel gasped and fully turned to Dipper.
"Think about it! Mabel, I've been thinking about some things, you know?" Dipper flipped several pages, and began to read out observations, "Listen to what I've noted: She doesn't hang out with her friends any more. Mabel, remember last summer? She always hung out with her friends!"
"She told me that she had a falling out with them," Mabel defended.
He was not convinced. "Maybe, but Mabel, remember when we brought Tambry in here," Dipper said to her, "Wendy freaked out, like Tambry was going to come alive and attack her for some reason. Why would Wendy ever act like that?" Dipper asked.
Mabel had opened her mouth, ready to defend the redhead. Then, something else popped into her mind. That bit of evidence felt familiar to Mabel. "Hey... you know, she acted the same way when I told her Grenda and Candy were coming over."
Dipper gasped and scribbled down her note. "Why didn't you tell me?!" he hissed.
Mabel was a little taken aback at his intensity. "I dunno! It happened weeks ago, and I didn't think of it until just now dude," Mabel shrugged, "I don't constantly think about the world of me and Wendy, unlike you," Mabel retorted.
Dipper's face grew red and he stumbled for words. "I don't- Mabel that's-" he cleared his throat and continued, "Not only that, she's hesitant to go into town," Dipper stated, "I could have sworn she's tried getting us to go in time to time, but I don't really have a specified date down for that one, "Dipper admitted, and his eyes grew wide, "Ah! Then there's this!" he pointed to the list with his pencil, "I thought she was just being awesome, but winning a staring contest with a rock golem, which doesn't need to blink? No. That's weird," Dipper admitted.
"She won that contest? Wow," Mabel admitted, "But that is still kind of awesome."
"If it is Wendy," Dipper reminded her, and paced back and forth again, "She didn't react in pain with that shard of the wardrobe in her back, doesn't seem to blink, and doesn't want to talk to people who know her? Mabel," he stopped, and bored his eyes into his sister's own, "What if Wendy isn't Wendy?"
"Like she's not what she seems," Mabel tagged with an air of suspicion. Her mind began to weigh the evidence with her own feelings on the matter, a delicate process which took a few moments of self-deliberation. Finally, she admitted, "It's not... impossible," Mabel said to her brother. "But dude, we're talking about, like, the perfect clone then or whatever. And we already ran into those robot clones! And a shapeshifter, again! What the heck-lee-doodle is there that she could be?"
Dipper watched his sister and finally rolled his eyes. "I... I don't know," he admitted, "that's where I'm getting stuck. This book," he held aloft journal two, "Has a lot inside it, but I can't seem to find anything that comes close to the evidence I have. No monsters, curses, or spells quite fit the match! Anything that comes close we can dismiss at this point." Dipper sighed and sat back onto the chair, pushing the journal into his lap moodily and opening it. "Well, I'm not done looking through everything. At this rate I'll be done by tomorrow."
"And if you can't find anything that fit's Wendy's spookiness?" Mabel asked letting Waddles nibble on the edge of the remote. To this question, Dipper looked up and to her, and scoffed, looking back inside.
"I'll find out," Dipper told her.
"What if you can't?"
"I will."
"Dipper, just ask her."
"No!" he gasped.
"Why not?" Mabel demanded, wringing the remote in her hands with alternating squeezes of her hand.
"Because- because-" Dipper ran a hand over his face, up through his hair, "Because would she tell me? Huh? If someone holds a secret like... well, whatever this is," Dipper shrugged and desperately darted his eyes around, unable to properly articulate the ridicule he thought, "They're not just going to tell because I asked!"
"You don't know that," Mabel argued, her calm easy and calm. "For all we know, this is just one crazy misunderstanding, and she just is going through a rough patch."
"If we were anywhere else, yeah," Dipper nodded his head, and then quickly shook it left to right, "But we're not anywhere else. We're in Gravity Falls."
"Bro-"
"Not only that, lets say I do ask her. She says no, nothing is going on. What happens when there's still something going on, but now she's got me on her radar?" Dipper demanded. "I'd never figure it out! Ever! She could change her behavior to better hide the clues."
"Hah, like she's a plane tower," Mabel chuckled, despite Dipper's glares, "Beep boop, you are clear for take-off into conspiracy land."
"Mabel!"
"I know, gosh darn it, Dipper," Mabel clenched her teeth and sighed at him, "And what happens now? You just sit there, taking more notes while this gets you in a worse and worse bad mood?"
"... I'm not in a bad-"
"Mood? Harken," Mabel cupped a hand to her ear as Dipper covered his face with the journal as he peered into, "I do believe-eth I hath uncovered a falsehood!"
"Shush," he grumbled, "You sound like Yuki."
"Pffft, you're just angry that this is close to home, and you don't know what's going on," Mabel pointed out, and clicked on the TV. Dipper shoved the journal aside, his eyes wide and his lips pulled taught as he glared angrily at the back of his sister's head. "I can feel you staring," she told him as Ductective and Mole-iarty continued to battle on the cliff edge.
"Aren't you?" Dipper demanded, his throat sounding clenched.
"I am a little, yeah," Mabel admitted with a sad sigh, "I don't like the idea that Wendy is keeping something from us, you know?" Mabel said as she scratched Waddles' ears, "But everyone has secrets. Like Grunkle Stan did, with Stanford."
"And look how well that turned out," Dipper pointed out.
"Dude, she's helped us soo many times," Mabel propped herself and turned to stare at him, her brows furrowed. "This isn't someone we just met, like Jace or Jess, where it's okay to be suspicious. Wendy has had our back, like, a gajillion times."
To this response, Dipper's angered facade dialed down and he looked away. With the journal in his lap and a hand on his cheek, he stared at the hallway, a strong and evident mope clearly presented. Was it that he felt hurt that Wendy withheld something big from the twins? Was it all the frustration of lack of progress? He wasn't sure, and it didn't really matter to him too much.
Mabel, still honed in on her brother's sense, eased up on her frown. "Dude, I get you," Mabel told him, "You want to figure it out. I do too," she said as Waddles nudged Mabel with his nose anxiously. "Don't worry, buddy," she cooed to her pig, "He's just worried about his girl-friend."
"She's- Mabel!" Dipper hissed through clenched teeth as he leaned out of the chair, his face reddened again. Glancing to him, Mabel's cheeks bulged out and she guffawed until she belly laughed on the floor. Watching her roll side-to-side, Dipper growled and crossed his arms together.
"That's not funny, Mabel."
"It is a little," she jested with a grin.
From elsewhere, a familiar voice called out, "Dudes!"
"Speak of the devil," Mabel joked to Dipper as she pushed herself up, prompting Waddles to take her spot on the carpet.
"Mail's here for you," Wendy's voice echoed from the shop down the hallway.
There was news the twins hadn't been expecting. With an interested shared look, they marched out of the room, Dipper leading the charge out and towards the red-head. Walking at their careful pace, they rounded the corner and turned into the gift shop, where not one, but two women stood at the counter.
"Arline!" Dipper exclaimed, some of his weight in his heart fading away.
"Hey guys," Arline winked to Dipper with her grin as Mabel rushed forward and gave her a hug, "You two having a good recovery?" she asked, looking between them.
"Heh, considering what we dealt with, yeah," Dipper nodded gently.
Mabel was less humble. "Consider we kicked Graupner's butt you mean! I could totally go for round two! Man to girl! See what's coming to him," she added, giving the air around her speedy jabs.
"Let's not tempt danger," Arline told them, a hand on her student's shoulder, "We were lucky that old man was able to knock him down like that, otherwise we might be dealing with two bad guys out there."
"Do you know who the other is yet?" Mabel asked her master.
Arline shook her head. She wasn't quite cross, but she held some similar energy that Dipper had felt not a minute before. "I was under the impression coming here that only the Warlock was the problem," she explained, "But two? I'm no longer sure what's going on. My sources didn't tell me about this." She scrunched up her lips, thinking hard. A small shake of her head later, she grinned and turned to Mabel. "Anyway, I'm not here to get everyone nervous."
Wendy had moved back to her spot by the wooden island counter, and pulled out a magazine as she said, "A little late for that, dude."
Grunkle Stan's voice called as he stepped inside, "Good, because it means you're here to pay rent." Aside from the tone of voice, Grunkle Stan's body language was anything but inviting. His eyes squinted as he studied Arline, and his arms were folded tightly as he marched over.
"Stanley," Arline nodded, "Sure, I can pay for the day," she said in a passive tone.
"Great," Stan told her as he held out his hand, now behind the twins, "That'll be eight hundred."
"What!?" Arline barked, looking up from the wallet, "You're joking."
"Not when it comes to cash," Grunkle Stan said.
Tightly wringing her wallet, Arline snapped back, "That's double what I paid yesterday!"
Stan mocked her, his eyes wide. "Wow! Isn't that a fact?" Stan informed the group around them. Ignoring the shocked faces of the twins, he looked back to Wendy and said, "Ring her up."
Wendy looked terribly uncomfortable. "Uh... okay, Stan," Wendy nervously looked between the two of them. "That'll be eight hundred, ma'am," she added after a careful glance to Arline.
Arline looked like a statue of vengeance itself. The woman was frozen in her spot. Muscles carefully moved as the master martial artist lifted her credit card and handed it to Wendy.
"Top class resorts are worth it," Arline gritted her teeth as Wendy took the card and swiped it. "Thank you," she quietly told Wendy as she collected her card, aware that eight hundred dollars had just gone down the drain. After the deed was done, she turned to the twins again. "Well, Mabel, Dipper, here's that thing I found by the door," she said, and lowered a single post card. "If you need me, I'll be in town for the day. Gotta check things out about, well, you know."
Stan answered quickly and gruffly, "Yeah, good luck with that. You're certainly good at keeping order around here, aren't you?"
The martial artists had been turning out the door, and slowed to a stop. Arline whipped around and stared at him, eyes ablaze behind those circles of blue. For a moment, Dipper wanted to step aside and pull Mabel with her; as he wasn't sure if a jet of flame was about to be thrown at his grand uncle.
Arline merely grinned, and nodded to him. "At least I'm there when they do need help," she remarked as she turned and left through the door, leaving Stan spluttering and twitching angrily.
"Ohhhh, oh-ho-hoooh, so clever, huh?!" he demanded at the closed door. When no reply came, he scowled, and turned to the three pairs of eyes on him. "What? I've got a business to run, and she's been taking up one of my rooms for almost a month!"
Wendy quietly corrected, "It's been only two and a half weeks since she got here."
Stan couldn't care less. "Whatever. I'm missing prime opportunities to scam entire families with merchandise," he defended himself as he dusted off a series of bobble heads on the desk, "Which is the real money maker. I'm just compensating since she doesn't buy anything here."
Mabel shook her head at her Grunkle. "You still don't have to be so mean to her," Mabel told him.
"If she doesn't like it here, she can go to another motel in town," Grunkle Stan informed them, turning away and scratching his back. "Let me if anyone who actually wants to buy my stuff is here."
"Sure, fine," Wendy said, shaking her head as he departed, leaving the three alone. "Jeesh. I haven't seen him his uptight since three years ago."
"I hope it's not us," Mabel admitted, her gaze faltering.
"Definitely not," Wendy assured her, her voice confident and soft. She explained, "This is just Stan being stupid about something. You know he can be like that about stuff – stubborn and mean. But anyway, what's your letter about?" she asked, pointing to the postcard in Mabel's hand.
"Hm- oh! I bet it's Jace and Jess!" Mabel exclaimed, and quickly gave it a look-over. To her surprise, the handwriting didn't match that of the last one, and the post-card was from, of all places, Gravity Falls. "Someone locally sent us a postcard?" Mabel asked in surprise.
"Who?" Dipper tried, walking around her shoulder to look at the writing, which Mabel began to read out loud.
"Ahem. Dear Mabel and Dipper Pines," Mabel said, and rolled her eyes, "Heh, that's us. Anyway," she continued after receiving a look from Dipper, "You guys really impressed me with our last little adventure in the woods. I've decided that retirement isn't exactly what I pictured, so I want to keep busy. I had this crazy idea. You think you could stop by the day you receive this letter, or whenever? I have something of a favor to ask. Anyway, hope to see you two crazy adventurers again. Zan-" Mabel squealed and suddenly held the letter closer to her, smothering it into her neck with loud squeaks of excitement.
"Who?" Wendy asked.
"Zander Maximillion!" Mabel yelped, hopping around in circles as she pressed the postcard to herself. "He actually sent me, me, a postcard! Oh my god!"
"Us a postcard," Dipper reminded her, not at all impressed with Mabel's behavior. He stood there, glaring at her maddened hops, and eventually reached into her reach and yanked out the post card. As Mabel stopped and swatted his shoulder, he examined the paper. "It was written yesterday. He is supposed to be in town, isn't he?" Dipper asked. Mabel nodded feverishly. "Why didn't he just come over, or whatever," Dipper asked them, turning and looking to Wendy.
This proved a mistake to the young teen's mind. He suddenly felt an overwhelming wave of guilt and anger as he stared into those green eyes as she shrugged and grinned back. So much confusing and conflicting feelings mixed up as he looked to her. She was a liar. She was a friend. She was a mystery. She was his crush. Was he even allowed to have this many feelings for one person?
Wendy seemed to not notice Dipper's flux of feelings. She suggested, "Maybe he's trying to keep publicity to a minimum. You know – retire in peace sort of thing?" She asked, looking to the two of them. Dipper's eyes lingered on her a tad longer than he wanted. "Dipper?" she asked, to which he coughed and looked away.
"Sorry, just a thought I had," Dipper covered hastily, covering his face as he forced out two more small coughs.
Mabel, still hopping around, landed next to Dipper. "Dipper, we should go see what he wants to do with us!" Mabel declared, still hopping up and down on her feet.
"Hah, yeah, maybe tomorrow?" Dipper suggested, and leaned in to Mabel, "So I can get a bit further into that other thing I'm working on? You know?" he asked her.
Mabel gasped and grabbed him. "Dipper, we just got the mail from the greatest rock artist alive, and he wants to see us again! Personally! Us! In Private!" she shrieked and spun around a few times, nearly whipping Dipper's face with her hair. "Dipper, we can't just pass up on that!"
"Why not?" he inquired with a trying look.
"Because he asked us in the card to come whenever we got it," Mabel pointed out. Dipper sighed and glanced behind him. Wendy was watching them with a half-smile. Was there a gathering thought behind her eyes? Dipper didn't know. Those darn feelings were coming again, and he turned away, staring into the desperate pleas of his sister, who begged him silently. It was better than looking at the girl behind him.
Dipper groaned, cupped his eyes with a slap over his face, and nodded. Mabel roared, and spun around him in blistering fast circles. "Let's rock, brotha!" she declared as she swatted his back in a proud clap, and ran outside in a rush that would have made the speed of light envious.
"One sec! Grabbing my stuff," Dipper grumbled as his sister left him for the outdoors. Grumbling, he turned and marched back to the living room briefly. Once he was with his own journal and a notepad, he returned and started to pass by Wendy.
"Dipper, you okay, man?" Wendy suddenly asked. Dipper paused, and glanced to her. "You seem a little tense, man."
"Uh... just Mabel giving me a hard time," Dipper lied, looking to the door in a huff, as he didn't want to look further into what Dipper assumed was concern in her eyes. "Always going on about boys and stuff. Yeah."
"Huh. Well, you know Mabel is crazy about 'em," Wendy snorted and rolled her eyes. Dipper felt the energy that allowed him to act pleasant vaporize. He turned away from her again, and left. Wendy watched him quickly exit, calling after him, "Dipper? Dude?" the door closed between them loudly.
Dipper could only circle the same thoughts in his mind cyclically. She wasn't her, or she was lying about something big. That meant all of that smiling was just another lie. Wasn't it? Dipper scowled to himself as Mabel turned to him as he approached her by her bike. Her bright smile was met with his saddened frown, and she sighed.
"Cheer up, doofus," she said with a soft pat on his arm. "At least Zander doesn't seem like the kind of person who doesn't hold secrets."
"I swear, everyone does these days," Dipper grumbled without a moment hesitation.
"Not me, Brosopholese," Mabel grinned.
Dipper awarded her one small chuckle. "Not you," he agreed.
Climbing onto the back of Mabel's bike with only one more glance behind him, Dipper clutched onto the seat as Mabel sped off. Down the gravel road and out of the immediate forest surrounding the Mystery Manor, Mabel drove them around the edge of town, towards the one place the twins had never felt a reason to visit in a long, long time.
As the bike came to a rolling stop, Mabel whistled and slowly removed her sunglasses she wore while driving. She eyed the building before them as she said, "Talk about renovations."
"Yeah, really," Dipper admitted.
The old Gleeful home had been walled around by a tall, sharp looking hedge, with two automatic gates. The nearest to them was a double-door metal gate that protected the drive way. About fifty feet past that was an open gate, built for a single person to walk through. Past the large, nearby metal barrier, the twins spied a single, very expensive, and very shiny car.
"Look at it! I wonder if that's a million dollars or something," Mabel asked as she stared at the shining surface of the expensive vehicle distant to them. She finally slid off the bike, and with Dipper in tow, they approached the open metal door. The front yard was perfectly flat grass and several planted trees of small nature. Evenly dispersed at intervals around the cement walk-way, the twins looked at the house itself.
Re-construction had taken the shape of the building and added to it. What used to be a rather large looking cabin like building was now a semi-modern construct. Geometric walls and large windows presented the inside look of the building, which appeared clean and crisp. As they approached the front door, music started to drift out.
"Well... okay," Mabel suddenly sighed, and shook her hands hastily at her sides. Her eyes darted around, looking from unseen focal point to another. "Here we go. Whoo. Okay."
"What are you doing?" Dipper asked her, and she jumped a little.
"Nothing. Just..." instead of answering his question, she cracked her neck, and then knocked on the door. Two raps on the door later, and it slid open gently, allowing more beautiful music to pour out. The door hadn't even been locked, or even fully closed. The music seemed organic, not pre-recorded. Or, at least, they couldn't spot immediate speakers gifting their ears notes from a piano. Mabel grinned and gulped as she stared forward, pushing the door further open.
"Mabel!" dipper hissed at her as she stepped inside the well-lit rooms.
"What?"
"We should wait until someone answers!" Dipper told her, waving her back.
Mabel shook her head, a shaky smile telling him of her nerves. "It-it'll be fine. He's cool with us," Mabel told him, and stepped further away.
Scowling in indignation, Dipper stepped past the threshold of the welcome mat and into the building, coming next to Mabel as they followed the source of music.
It was classical, or at least it seemed classical. The tune was filled with passion and energy, bounding through notes at such a haste that it felt like a wild chase through the woods. Dipper frowned; the music in the air was familiar to him. He had heard this tune before – from a movie. No, not just a movie, but a movie theme.
As they found themselves crossing a large, luxurious living room, they stopped at a sliding door. Just outside, in a porch made of white stone that overlooked a large grass-filled backyard, Zander Maximillion sat on a fold-out chair, a guitar resting in his lap. With a realization, Dipper and Mabel saw another figure before him, her eyes closed.
Pacifica Northwest sat by a piano under a porch umbrella, rocking her body back and forth as she pressed the many keys of the piano. Dipper blinked with Mabel. They hadn't seen the similar aged girl before them so calm. She looked dream-like, swaying in her seat as she effortlessly played the piano with her eyes closed. Opening them with a small sigh, her sight flickered towards the twins, and she shrieked and pushed herself up.
"Hey! What the heck are you two doing here?!" she demanded, blushing in the face and holding her hands behind her back.
"Huh?" Zander continued to strum the guitar as he had been, and eyed the twins. A smile grew on his face. "Hey! You guys got my postcard."
"We didn't mean to interrupt," Mabel assured them, and looked at Pacifica, who was bending below her, picking up a large bag of music sheets. "You sounded amazing!"
"See?" Zander also turned to the blond, who slowly lifted her head from the piano.
Pacifica seemed overwhelmed. "Well... I was just... keeping up with you, that's all," she told him with shake of her bangs before her forehead.
"Man, you're quick to throw away a compliment," Zander chuckled.
"Wasn't that the Larry Motter theme?" Dipper asked.
Zander grinned and again looked to Pacifica, who snorted. She grumpily said, "Of course you would know that, you nerd." She walked around, wrapping the book-bag around her shoulder.
Zander spoke to Pacifica, "And not only that, he knew exactly what it was!" He stood up as well, holding the guitar aside, "Like I said: Music is music. Good music distinguishes itself from the bad, but genre knows no borders of quality."
"Ugh, fine, whatever," Pacifica rolled her eyes, but she let a grin creep into the corners of her mouth.
Mabel, perhaps enamored with the music and Zander himself, just realized what was going on. "Are you taking lessons from Zander?" Mabel asked, her eyes sparkling as she came to this conclusion. "That's got to be the coolest thing ever!"
"Well," Zander shrugged and stepped towards the twins, ushering them all inside his home with a wave of his hand, "I don't know about coolest thing ever, especially since Pacifica didn't get a say in the matter."
"Huh?" the twins said in unison.
"My dad's idea," Pacifica told them with a heavy sigh, and the four walked inside.
Zander said with a sardonically amused tone, "Her dad has the crazy idea that his daughter should be skilled in as many things as humanly possible," Zander explained as he lackadaisically tossed his guitar to a couch. He stepped towards the kitchen, leading them away, "The exact topic of those, uh, teachings are only up to him, and apparently, only him."
"Oh, Pacifica," Mabel said, a wave of pity flooding through her.
"Sounds like your dad," Dipper muttered, giving Pacifica a shake of his head.
Pacifica distantly reminded them, "Not everything changes around here."
They had entered the kitchen, and Zander slid open the refrigerator, and started lifting water bottles. Mabel, eager to raise the mood, pointed out, "At least you have Zander as a teacher!" and she grinned at Zander, "You guys must have just so much fun."
"I don't know, do we Pacifica?" Zander asked, his eyes twinkling as he slowly closed the fridge door. Handing one bottle to each of them, he grinned as Pacifica finally gave in a smiled. "Yes!" Zander pumped his hands into the air, "Still got it! I can teach to save a life!"
"You've always got it," Mabel cooed. Dipper smacked her side, glaring at her until she straightened herself upright.
Pacifica asked, "So, uh, can I go home then, Mister Maxim-"
"Ugh!" Zander gasped, having just handed out the water bottles to the three before him. He shuddered and pointed to her, "What did I say? Only rule I have!"
"Fine, okay," Pacifica quickly nodded, "Zander," she corrected herself, and he grinned, "am I okay to go home?"
"Yeah. I'd say so. Unless you want to help out these two with a little something I'm working on," Zander suggested as he passed by the three. They followed, Mabel closely behind, and Dipper after Pacifica.
"Miste- uh- Zander," Pacifica again caught herself as Zander leapt over a foot-rest and onto the couch, bouncing the guitar into the air, which he caught with ease. Pacifica shook her head, saying, "I've got tons of stuff to do at home. I'm even surprised that my dad let me work with you at all."
"What!?" Mabel demanded, "But he's the greatest musician ever! Not your dad, Pacifica, I mean Zander," Mabel elaborated.
Zander snorted, and said with a shake of his head, "Not by a long shot."
Dipper added, "Besides, I thought after the mess at the convention center your parents kinda had their hands full?" As Mabel nodded in agreement and Zander slyly looked between them all, Pacifica balled her fists up.
"Yeah? And guess who has to deal with the insurance policy claims!?" she demanded to them. "My mom and dad are constantly like 'Pacifica, responsibility is part of being a Northwest. Now go deal with the six-hundred calls'," she heatedly told them.
Dipper was a little more prone to retributive behavior today. "Well, gosh, don't make it sound like we did anything good for the town when we stopped Graupner," Dipper remarked, crossing his hands in his chest. He already had enough dark thoughts piled into his mind from Wendy to deal with. He didn't need or want anything else Pacifica might have to offer.
"Hey, I didn't say anything like that, tough guy," Pacifica retorted, puffing her hair behind her shoulder as she tightened her gaze onto Dipper. "I just have to deal with more than the cleanup."
"Sounds horrible," Dipper moodily grumbled, "Next time, we'll just let the marauding golem go crazy and destroy everything, okay?" Dipper snapped. Mabel turned to him and gave him a glare as Pacifica snorted.
"What's got your underwear in a knot?" she demanded heatedly.
Before Dipper could reply, no doubt angrily, Mabel pushed him aside and down into a chair as she spoke. "Dipper's just dealing with some stupid stuff at home. Mystery trouble; you know how he gets when they aren't developing fast enough," she informed Zander and Pacifica.
Pacifica rolled her eyes and looked away from her ex-boyfriend, while Zander merely nodded his head and continued to smile pleasantly, occasionally strumming a note on one of the strings. "Well, uh, I can go though, right?" Pacifica glanced to her new teacher. He nodded silently. "Okay. See you next weekend," she said, and started away.
"Wait," Zander called to her, not even bothering to watch her go. Yet she did stop, as his voice was just barely strong enough to command her action to follow his suggestion. "What did you learn today?" he asked her. Pacifica turned and stared at him.
"All instruments require breath control," she told him. Zander laughed and plucked at four strings, ushering a wave of beauty that made Mabel's legs tremble.
"Close," he quietly said, "What did you learn – not what I taught you," Zander informed her.
Her blue eyes gazed at him until her lips split and she smiled. "Music is music," she said.
Zander beamed. "It knows no boundaries," Zander added and winked to her. "You can go. Good job today," he added, and then pointed to her, "And remember; there will always be a new day."
Pacifica only nodded once before turning and leaving, having the twins all alone to their eccentric and preposterously rich friend. He leant back to the couch, the white pillows illuminated by the light from above. The wall behind Zander was a large painting- abstract and a collection of otherwise entirely undistinguishable streaks of paint. From his seat, Zander looked between one another, and continued to pluck his guitar.
"So, as it turns out," Zander explained, "Retirement is really boring," he told them curtly. Mabel giggle, and Dipper nodded. "Like, really, really, really boring. One of the only reasons I decided to teach Pacifica was because... dang, I'm just so bored!"
"Wait, you didn't call us over here for some crazy advice on how to keep busy, did you?" Dipper demanded, staring at the older man.
"Nope," Zander shook a finger to him as he let the guitar fall to his side, "I said I needed your help, and your help I do need. So, pow-wow with me," he said, ushering them closer. Mabel nodded eagerly and quickly sat next to him. With a groan, Dipper pushed himself up and strode over, plopping down next to the man. Once both were present, Zander grinned and wrapped his hands around their shoulders.
"Okay, so, get in character with me," he started, painting a picture with his hands as he wove a story, "You're a musician who's always made music. It's what drives you. It makes you you. Then, one day, you decide that you're done with the spot light, but you want more of what you love. So, what's the first logical step to take?"
"Make a garage band!?" Mabel gasped, so excited with her prospect that she squealed. Dipper shook his head.
"I don't know. What?" he asked bluntly.
Zander was unphased by Dipper's low-energy. "Make a new website for yourself!" he proclaimed. Mabel clapped and cheered next to him. "Cool, huh!?" Zander asked.
"I'm totally going to check it whenever I find a computer with enough power to use current internet," Mabel told Zander.
Dipper shook his head, looking between the two. "Wait, you mean you pulled us all the way over here to help you design a website?" he grumbled.
"Nope," Zander grinned, "I've got money and time to do that on my own. What I need you from two is something a little more... unique," he told them. "You see, having a status like mine makes it hard to go anywhere without people trying to take pictures of you left and right. Case and point," he pointed to the woods out the window, and the twins stared.
There, poorly hidden amongst the bushes, was a short man with a bunched-up face with huge lips. Bespeckled with splotchy freckles and quite the mid-section, Toby Determined lurked. He held up a cinder-block painted to look like a camera.
Just outside, Toby said to himself, "I almost feel like a real paparazzi! Click!" he said, and shook the block like he'd taken a picture.
Back inside, Zander looked to the twins. "So, yeah, I can't sneak around in the woods and find something really cool on my own," Zander explained, "Not without getting some unwanted attention. I couldn't, say, get a high-definition picture of it for my background of the website."
Mabel gasped and held a hand to her chest. "Wait, wait, we're going to go into the woods and find something, and take pictures of it for you?" she asked. Zander nodded, and Mabel replied in kind, bobbing her face up and down so fast it was a blur. "Yesyesyesyes of course we're going to do it!"
"Wait, Mabel!" Dipper said, his teeth gritted. The other two turned to face him. "What about what Grunkle Stan said?" Dipper reminded her, "And what... you know, we're already doing?" Mabel squinted to him, and then shook her head. Dipper reached around Zander, who leaned forward to avoid their private conversation.
The twins spoke above the leaning over ex-rockstar.
Mabel argued quickly, "What? He didn't say bring something dangerous back- just find something to take pictures of or whatever. That's not dangerous."
"Fine, sure, whatever," Dipper hastily agreed, "But I wanted to keep on the whole, you know, Wendy thing?"
"Dipper, she's not going anyway, jeesh," Mabel told him.
"You don't know that!" he hissed back.
From under them, Zander muttered, "So, if you guys want, I can wait in the kitchen while you two discuss whatever," Zander told them, tapping his fingers together as he awaited them. Mabel grunted and pushed away from Dipper, allowing Zander to rise back up.
"No, no, it's okay! We'll do it," she informed Zander with her brightest, widest smile. Dipper's mouth fell open, and he scowled.
Zander clapped his hands together. "Awesome! Look, I was going to rent a camera for this tomorrow, so just do me the favor of finding something first. I want it to be sort of atmospheric – mysterious, but natural. Nothing crazy like machines and technology," Zander explained as he stood up. "You ever going to drink those?" he pointed to the bottles in their hands. Mabel's had nearly slipped from her grip as she was pointed to, and Dipper shook his head stiffly, and placed it on a coffee table before him. "Okay then. You guys need any help or, you know, whatever," Zander pointed to them as he turned back towards the porch, "I'll be here, chilling. Bored."
"We will-"
"Yeah, we'll come back later," Dipper said, standing up and nearly pulling his sister up with him. "See you later, Zander."
"Adios, amigos," Zander called as the twins exited the building in a rush. As Zander stepped outside, he waved at the would-be paparazzi. "Hey there!" Zander called out. Toby Determined squealed, and ran away, immediately crashing into, what sounded like, a family of angry opossums.
Once outside in the front yard, Dipper relinquished his grasp over his sister. Pulling herself away from him, she scowled.
"Okay, really bro?" she asked, straightening up her sweater, which he had slightly wrinkled.
"Yes, really," he said, walking past her in a deliberate march.
"Okay, what the heck is eating you?" Mabel demanded, rushing around him. When he said nothing, she huffed and threw her hands into the air. "Really dude? Still Wendy?"
"Yes!" he shouted in reply, "Of course I'm mad about it! I want to find out why my friend has been hiding a secret from me for who knows how long! Don't I deserve to know that!?"
"Dipper, we don't know anything about what it is she's hiding from us!" Mabel pointed out, "this isn't like McGucket or anyone like that! There were a few signs about what he was up to, but what signs have there been before this summer that Wendy ever hid anything from us?"
"Nothing! I know it's nothing! But that means it could be recent," Dipper told her, "What if... what if she's caught up in this Warlock guy? Huh?"
"Dipper, do you really think that?" Mabel asked, her hands holding her elbows in support.
"Don't patronize me!" Dipper yelled. "I don't know what to think, and I don't like that!"
"Oh my god, Dipper, calm the heck down," Mabel demanded, her own voice raising, "I get it!"
"Then why are we doing this stupid thing for Zander?! If you got it, you'd be trying to help out instead!"
"Okay, first of all, not stupid," Mabel held up one finger, "two, because he's awesome, and cool, and we should want to know him just as much as we know Wendy," she held up a second finger, "and third," she lifted her third finger, "You aren't making any progress with Wendy. Take a break!"
"Yet! I'm not making any progress yet!" Dipper shoved a finger at Mabel's face.
Mabel looked so exhausted as she rolled her eyes and said, "Dipper, you haven't made progress with Wendy in three years."
A still silence fell between the two of them. Birds dared not chirp nor sing. Mabel stared at him, breathing a little heavily. With the look he gave her, Dipper might as well have been slapped. Maybe it finally dawned on Mabel what she had just said, but no amount of fidgety movement could aid her, nor the gnawing awfulness that grew in her chest. She gulped and looked away, her eyes starting to sting. Dipper's stare became colder than had been in a very, very long time.
"So," he said very quietly, "that's what you really think of me with Wendy."
"Dude, I was just being mean," Mabel said, brushing the end of her nose with back of her wrist.
"And I bet honest, too," Dipper pointed to her, shaking his head, "well, good for freakin' you. Bravo. Bravo!" he yelled to the sky, turning around as he forcibly laughed. "The biggest secret was in front of me the whole time! Like it always is!" Dipper screamed, and kicked at the metal gate towards Zander's home.
"Dipper, stop it," Mabel hissed at him.
"You've always thought that I stood no chance, huh?" Dipper demanded, pointing to himself. "So, all those times you just stood there, watching me figure these feelings out, you've probably been holding back laughter!"
Mabel's eyes shimmered. "No! No, Dipper, I just-"
"Well, you know what," Dipper felt his throat become tight as he marched quickly to her, causing her to flinch and take a step back, "Fine! At least I have some consistency with what people I choose to like!"
"Wha-what's that supposed to mean?" Mabel asked as her mind became a flayed, cluttered mess.
"You know exactly what I mean," Dipper peered deep into her soul. "Just what exactly is the similar feature of all the people you've tried dating, huh? Mermando? Gabe? Norman? Jeff?!"
"That's not fair!" Mabel shouted back. "I was twelve, Dipper!"
"Oh, yeah," He nodded, and bitterly laughed, "I forgot about anyone in high school you may have tried dating! And then Jace! And now him!?" he pointed to the home, "An actual rock star?!" Mabel's lip quivered as she watched him hatefully stare at her. "You think you have a chance, a chance with him?! But then you can swing around and tell me I have no chance with Wendy? Really!? Here; a free lesson from your brother: the word hypocrisy! Look it up!"
"Shut up!" Mabel shouted back, "At least I don't get stuck on things when they're clearly not working!"
"So true! Sooo true!" Dipper growled, his entire body shaking as he pointed at Mabel furiously. "Glad you could give me some of your great life-lesson advice, Mabel!"
Two loud blares of a police siren startled the twins. They whipped their red faces towards the street, where a police cruiser had slowed down to a stop. As the window dropped down and showed Sheriff Blubs, he leant out and eyed them through his dark sunglasses.
"So, uh, everyone fine over here? Zander Maximillion doesn't need loiterers in his front yard," Blubs stated officially.
"Especially not kids," Durland added, leaning around his Sheriff.
The twins would not have anyone stand between their visceral, verbal duel.
"We are not loitering!" Dipper screamed at him.
"And we're his friends! Get lost!" Mabel screamed as well.
Blubs and Deputy Durland, who sat next to him, stared at the fury of the twins. Without another word, the window slowly ascended back up, and the cop was protected from their wrath by a thin veil of glass. As the patrol car pulled away, Dipper and Mabel whipped back to one another.
"You know what, Mabel? I think you're right," Dipper told her, and then turned himself around and started walking away.
"Huh?! The heck kind of stupid mind game is this?" she demanded as he continued away.
"No, no mind game. I'm just taking a leaf from your book here," he called over his shoulder as he marched away, following the road away from the old gleeful, now Maximillion house, and towards the Mystery Manor.
"How is 'leaving the discussion' my idea?" Mabel asked, trying to follow. Dipper spun around, and pointed at her.
"You want me to just be able to 'pick up and leave when things I like don't work out', do you!?" he demanded as he passed the hedges. "Fine! Go drive home on your own."
"What? Dude," Mabel ran up next to him, but he side-stepped her and continued away. "Dipper, stop it. It could be dangerous out there."
"I said leave me alone!" he yelled and spun, nearly headbutting her in the face. "I don't want you anywhere near me," he said through a scratchy voice. His eyes stung as well, but he dared not act on anything unless absolutely needed. He didn't want to show any signs of weakness, for her or himself. Not now.
Mabel stared into those eyes of his and slowly backed up. She looked ill, with her face going from red to a pale pink as she fought to not twist her mouth into a horrible frown. Without another word, she spun away, a hand over her eyes as she marched from Dipper. Dipper didn't bother to watch her go all the way back to the bike.
He just kept marching down the street, following it along the side as he shoved his hands into his pockets. At some point he felt and heard the rush of Mabel's motorcycle pass him. He didn't even look up to see if it had actually been her. It didn't matter.
Since he had started trying to discern Wendy's secret earlier, he had felt a ping of tightness under his ribs. No longer was there a heaviness in the chest – that dark pit in his heart had been taken away. No longer did he feel guilt from suspecting Wendy; just deep, uncompromisingly anger. He didn't feel the stretch of his skin, nor the pulling of his muscles as he clenched them. Then again, he just felt the absence of pressure in his chest. He felt so empty.
He had been betrayed by his own sister. All this time, this entire summer, and possibly longer, she had thought his feelings towards the girl of his... well, dreams, just a sad, pathetic joke. All the times he thought back to Mabel helping him start a relationship, now they were just a smeared, filthy memory. He recalled all those desperate moments of Mabel reaching out for boys of all walks of life, and he rolled his eyes and remembered how he said she was rushing herself. Had she secretly resented that? Was this just Mabel jabbing back at Dipper because he had, whether he liked it or not, stayed true on his path for Wendy? Once, those questions may have given him pause. Now, the questions seemed to answer themselves.
Dipper felt a cough-like gasp escape from his lips. It hurt. That feeling of his sister having so readily turned on him, just like that, it ate at him from the inside out. His feet carried himself further, feeling the wind of the world fade into noise no louder than the beating of his heart, or the shallow, ragged breath he struggled to take. He just kept walking, pushing himself further and further.
Then he ran into a tree.
"Ow!" Dipper held his nose, more startled and harmed; with exception to his pride. Fury roiled up like a boiling pot. "You – stop – gah!" Dipper shouted and kicked at the tree with the base of his foot. He had not watched where he was walking, and started to turn into the forest. With his breathing settling down, his sight focused, and spotted something far, far off past the initial line of trees.
There were lights, lights of myriad color. It was like diffused rays of color gently swayed and moved throughout the woods, glowing out in auras past the trees. Dipper gasped and hid behind the tree he had just kicked. It could be anything.
With a peek around the curve of the plant, his eyes peered through the vegetation, trying to discern what laid ahead. It wasn't still light, where a constant beam or sphere remained still, but it wasn't moving around, per-say. What Dipper saw was some sort of aura; something shimmering past the forest just bright enough to catch his eyes.
Bitterness resolved with his curiosity. He could not only get back at his sister and lead Zander to this spot without Mabel's help, but he could also discover something on his own. Again.
With a pat of his hat, securing it on him, Dipper stepped around the tree and moved forward. His first worrying thought, fairies, seemed possible. He and Mabel hadn't ever figured out how far into the forest their reign extended to, and those lights did remind him of those they saw before. Yet, with each crinkling step through dry, dead twigs Dipper took, he heard more and more of something else that sounded familiar to him. A humming, so gentle and eerie that it felt like a dream. With a gasp, Dipper pushed past the last tree, and let his eyes bask in the sigh before him.
Crystals. A massive growth of crystals, taller than the Mystery Manor itself loomed before Dipper. He had seen such mineral deposits before. With a grin, he started patrolling around it. That had been easy! Much easier than he anticipated!
To his surprise, no bright was focused out from any side of the geometric shape. Instead, as Dipper stared at it, he realized that the humming sound was a direct result of a discharge. At the base of the huge crystal, a series of smaller, human adult-sized ones scattered around in various, constantly changing colors. Between them all, occasional bursts of static darted from one to another, like they were all electrified.
A sample.
Dipper needed one; if not for Zander, but then for himself. He had never read something like this being in Gravity Falls before. Well, crystals, yes- but ones with altering properties that could be observable, such as shrinking or growing. These crystals reminded him of those cylinders that Uki-Dohth's people had used for running the robot clones.
"Here we go," Dipper said to himself as he found one small enough to probably pry from the dirt with his hands. Reaching down, he clasped his fingers around the edge and-
ZAP.
"OW! JEESH! GOD!" Dipper yelled as he stood up and turned, waving his hand through the air. His entire body had just felt burning hot; presumably as every single cell in his body felt the surge of electricity flow through him. His hand and body all tingled, his nerves finally calming down from the over-load of senses.
With a sigh of relief that nothing horrible had happened in the minor mishap, Dipper leaned against the closest tree, his hands in his pockets. Yet... he felt sore. His chest was tight, heavy even. With a worried groan, he felt his chest, afraid his heart may be a little shaken up still.
His hand met his shirt much sooner than it should have. Dipper looked down. His chest extended out now. It was... rounded.
"W-wh-what?!" Dipper demanded. His chest felt heavy. It was rounded. And, with all-encompassing fear, Dipper felt a strange 'missing' of pieces. Without thinking, Dipper grabbed onto his chest, and then his face. His facial hair was gone. In its stead, he felt pressure under his beanie. Long, brown, wavy hair flowed past his shoulders to the middle of his back, and Dipper let out a strangle cry.
"I'm a GIRL!?"
Dipper yelled again, feeling the changes over his body. Things missing, things added; new hair, no hair- it was all overwhelming and deafeningly scary. He had just been turned into a girl! A teenage girl!
Dipper blinked, and looked back to the crystal. The shock back would be worth it; damn the consequences!
Lunging through the air and reaching out, Dipper grasped the crystal and closed his eyes as he landed on the dirt and let out a loud 'oof'. The new addition of breasts made the landing less tolerable. As he groaned in pain, trying to ignore the pressure for him to stand back up and relieve the weight on them, Dipper realized he had grabbed the crystal. His fingers were still around it, and nothing was happening.
"Oh... oh no!" Dipper shrieked, and then shot up instantly. "Wait...no!" Dipper gasped and held a hand to his throat, "NO!" he shouted again, realizing his voice was changing. "No, c'mon man! I already got teased enough about this! I don't need this again!" Dipper shouted at the sky, and kicked the nearest crystal angrily. It neither broke nor budged.
Dipper continued around, grasping and touching any and all crystals he could. None of them gave him the sweet, blessed result he craved; to be turned back to his born sex. All of them seemed... inert to him. Like they refused to talk to him now. Dipper grew more and more panicked, frustrated, and soon was shouted at the ground as he pulled at his hair.
"Oh god, what do I do? Oh crud. Oh crud! I... I can't do this alone," he told himself, feeling the changed voice similar to how he always sounded, but softer than usual, and oddly smooth.
He needed to find someone else to help him. Anyone else.
Wait, no, not anyone. He needed someone he could trust; someone who knew about these sort of things. Someone who could actually help him with theories and ideas, as opposed to just going crazy about the supernatural being real. Then again, Dipper shuddered as he considered letting Grunkle Stan see his new look. His great uncle would never let it go that he had become an actual girl for a day. Or... forever.
Dipper shook his head; daring to think that only made him feel sick. Being female was fine, but it was not something he wanted for himself.
He considered options. There was Soos, of course. He never judged anyone for anything without dang good reason. Then again, Soos wasn't always the most logical thinker of his friends, and often blabbed about anything that came to mind. Originally first on his list was Mabel, who was out of the question. Dipper didn't want her help, and if she found out that he had gone off on his own to spite her...
Now thinking aloud, Dipper muttered, "And Wendy's out of the question. Yuki doesn't like lying to people, so he could tell someone about this... wait!" Dipper leapt into the air, and gasped. There was someone he could get help from without anyone knowing. "Arline!" Dipper exclaimed.
He started back towards the roads, but slid to a halt. Arline had said she was leaving for the day. Arline would be somewhere in town, and while Dipper cared less what the townsfolk would think if they realized he had become a she, that was room for gossip to spread, and it would probably find its way to the Mystery Manor.
Was there truly no one Dipper could now turn to without life-ending embarrassment?
Dipper blinked as a man's face winked at him in his mind, a stirring memory of not too long ago. He couldn't believe who he realized might, just might, be willing to help him. With a heavy, stabilizing breath, Dipper realized the appropriate irony of the situation. The only person, within reason, Dipper could turn to for help in this matter was also the very same person who had sent him and Mabel out in the first place.
Angry as he was to admit it, this would be another time Dipper prayed his sister was right about something. He hoped Zander Maximillion would be as cool as he acted. Dipper's self-image and sanity depended on the crazy, crazy-rich, and retired rocker down the street now. He climbed through the woods, preparing to meet back with the metalhead.
That's what you get for being all dramatic, Dipper. Turned into the opposite Gender.
But seriously, I bet you all weren't expecting sommathat tension, huh? Hopefully it wasn't unwanted. After all, I claim this is a comedy first, an adventure second. Then again, without dat drama, what would ever be funny? Or stuff. At least the funny stuff comes in part two. Or I should say 'more funny stuff'.
Zander has his second appearance! Along with Pacifica! Yay side characters!
Now, not about the story itself, a HUGE thanks to those who already started working on posters and character drawings. I've loved ALL OF THEM! They're soo freakin' cool, you guys! Like there's one now of Yuki on Deviant art, and the phoenix from Episode Six of season one; and those are just the COMPLETED ONES! So to my talented artists who think I'm worth drawing for, I thank you a bazillion times. What you've done is so cool. Keep doing it! :D
Now I take my leave. Until next Sunday, my friends! Or until you review and have an account: because then I will just reply to you and have a nice little chat. THAT'S A HINT FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT REVIEW ANONYMOUSLY! GET ACCOUNTS SO WE CAN CHAT!
(A swarm of reviews in the form of arrows streak through EZB's window and rapidly impale him to his wall.)