It had been said once that science was never a prize to hold in your hands, but a horizon to endlessly search and travel towards. Such wisdom had never been spread far and wide, but yet, some principles of that saying had taken root in humanity. Unless, of course, you were in the black-tier research laboratories of the infamous Groom Lake facility. It had a different name to the public, and a different name to the officials who referenced it. To Government officials, they called it, 'Unofficial'.
To the public, they called it 'Area 51'.
In the fifteenth subterranean level of this location with many names, a cluster of scientists made feverish work to complete their next big break.
The laboratory was a huge sectioned-off chamber. Lined from top to bottom with computers, the sixty-foot room was oval in nature, with a platform in the center. In the exact center of the room were two large metallic arms, with three digits that slowly spun in opposing circles; the top spun clockwise, the bottom counter it. At the end of the platform was a very thick metal door, of composite steels and manufactured alloys not known to common man. Yet it led to an over-look some twenty feet above the platform.
Behind those thick panels which mimicked glass, a cluster of scientists worked and bustled about. Computers and monitors coated the walls. Those inside, the thin and heavy set alike, were all nerdy looking. An older scientist, with a large bald stop on his head and shock white hair, looked about.
"Blast," he muttered before bending down to the console again. Turning to his closest accomplice, he asked, "Have you seen Doctor Looseman?"
The younger gentlemen chuckled, "I was under the impression he had 'missed the cab'."
The older gentlemen, who stood up and spoke with a disapproving glare. "Unbelievable. Slept in again. For one with such a high recommendation from MIT, you would think that Jordan would have more of an understanding of timing. Concepts such as linear time are not too hard to memorize, at least their theoretical formulas."
"Assuming we don't disprove them today," the man at the computer added.
"Indeed," the lead nodded.
A door leading to the room slid up and opened. Walking inside was a middle-aged man with short dark brown hair, wearing glasses and a large bio-hazard suit. The head scientists turned to him.
"Ah, Jordan. Good to see you," he said, waving him over. The man nodded and approached. "Now, we're ready to begin the linear string apparatus procedure. I'm glad to see you've adopted the Mark Seven hazard materials suit," he said with another look up and down of the suit. Black and White with clunky looking metals placed on the shoulders and chest, Jordan Looseman shrugged.
"Now listen Jordan," the other scientist stood up, facing him, "These materials aren't stable. Having them close to one another in exposed spaced before they are in the S.T.C. modules could be disastrous. We've checked, and the digits are fine for now. Just be careful when applying this rock to the devices, okay?"
Jordan nodded.
"Good," the head scientist grinned, "Then let us begin. Jordan knows the rest of what to accomplish, right doctor?" the man in glasses nodded firmly. "Good. Then off with you. We'll begin phase one as soon as the door as sealed behind you."
Jordan Looseman turned and made his way to the doors across the room. As they opened after a small delay, he stepped into the vertical elevator and waited for the doors to close behind him. One small ride down, and they opened once more. Before him was the beginnings of the chamber, but sealed off by a large blast door.
As the metal doors to the elevator closed behind him, two recorded alerts played in the room. "Warning: Blast doors opening. All unauthorized personnel are required to leave." Jordan Looseman looked at the speakers, a grimace on his face as he heard the warnings three more times before a final warning was issued. "Blast doors now opening. Please stand back," the urgent female voice asked.
With a loud moan of metal, the two sections of the doors before him split and were dragged open. As they were, a small panel next to him opened and revealed a small device, similar to a remote control. He took it out of its inlaid socket, and moved to a less hidden panel in the chambers.
Now inside the sixty-foot room, he looked up to the observation room. In the air, their voices floated in.
"All vitals accounted for," the lead scientists stated, "Jordan, we're giving you Alpha now. Have the minor stasis field on stand-by."
Jordan nodded. Then the panel before him slid open, and revealed a small crystal. It was jagged and orange in color, with the hint of an electric current racing through its semi-opaque body. Without a slightest hesitation, he clicked one of many buttons on the control in his hands, and a small blue field wrapped around the crystal, and levitated it into the air.
"Into the first slot please, Jordan," the scientist.
Looseman turned and marched it into the center, some thirty feet away. In the top slot the crystal floated. With the stasis field still up, he clicked yet another button, and the three claw like digits closed around the crystal firmly. A small display panel protruded out and was held before Jordan. Thousands of numbers flew at him, with varying-colored graphs telling him information not process-able to the untrained eye. He turned and gave a thumbs up to the crew above.
"Good," the scientist said, "Now, for the new specimen. Please take the orb into the second slot."
Behind Jordan Looseman, another panel flipped open. Instead of a crystal, a stone orb of black space and nebulous colors radiated out. Jordan stared at it for a moment, captivated by its appearance. Yet with the smallest of shakes, he stepped forward, and activated the stasis field. The orb lifted out, like the crystal and began to float over to the slot.
"Uh," another scientist voice read out, "I'm getting some strange readings from the sample."
Jordan stopped, and looked up the windows. The lead scientist had turned away, looking to the speaker.
"Is it anything dangerous?" the scientist asked calmly.
Above Doctor Looseman, the second voice struggled, "Well, uh, as I can tell, no, but these are alien signatures from the first time we analyzed the stone. Maybe-"
"Some rouge residual radiation from the sample won't be a problem," the head scientist sighed. "Jordan, do a quick cleanse." Jordan nodded, and pressed another button. A red flash inside the blue bubble passed. Nothing seemed to happen. The head doctor smirked. "And the signatures?"
"Have... dropped," the scientist sighed.
"Good. Jordan, into the second slot, if you will," the head required.
Jordan hesitated again, looking to the orb. Yet, with a small shake of his head, he stepped forward and approached the second slot. As he made to put the stone in, the stone itself stalled, and froze in place, resisting the efforts of the stasis field. Jordan gasped and pulled away. Yet the stasis field acted as a rope- and was now tied to a locked universal spot. It wouldn't budge.
"Jordan, what seems to be the issue?" the head asked, a frustrated undertone to his words. Jordan let go of the remote, which held itself in mid-air. He turned, staring up at the windows, pointing to the orb. "What?!" the scientist in the high room gasped.
"Sir!" another voice called out, "Those readings are back! They're growing stronger!"
"Cleanse, Jordan!" the head doctor demanded. Jordan did so, slapping the button with his finger.
This time, a cleanse did not happen. The orb absorbed all the red energy, and then pulsed. The remote control exploded with a shockwave, and Jordan was thrown back some ten feet as he fell onto his stomach. Klaxons immediately went off, and Jordan heard the hubbub of the scientists in the air.
"-Not responding to our commands-"
"It won't shut down! We have a rouge-"
"-New energy reading! Alien to our-"
"-Feeding off the alpha sample! We may have to-"
Jordan stood up as, watching the orb with fixed, intent eyes. He wouldn't blink now, not even as huge bolts of static energy raced across the room, some just barely missing him. The orb, all on its own, was moving.
"The signature is erratic! It's like magic!"
"Don't be ridiculous! There is no such thing as-"
"-gathering more power from the Alpha sample! We could be looking at-"
"No detection of internal structure to the new sample! Sentience can't be detected!"
"-possible readings of deliberate cosmic interference! I need a full spectro-"
Locked into place beneath the first crystal and hovering out of reach from the three-pronged digits below it, the orb began to draw visible light and energy from the crystal above it. Slowly, the orange and amber object cracked and splintered into fragments, which then dissolved into gas, all flowing and spinning around the orb. Jordan stared into the orb.
He saw a single eye look back out at him. A woman's cool, southern belle voice said, amused, "A little fun won't hurt the past."
Before Jordan Looseman, a huge, shimmering light was formed by the smooth stone as it reached out with its new orbiting energy from the destroyed crystal. It took form, creating a bubble of pure white light. As Jordan watched it, he felt as if he was looking into a memory. His mind felt betrayed and confused just staring into the light- as if it couldn't be there.
Then it vanished, and was replaced by six men. All clad in armor.
From the ancient past.
Three men in red and golden armor stood, locked in position with their massive shields before them. Across them on the platform were three men in cloth and leather armor, but of shocking similar color, stood, martially prepared for combat. As the sirens above blared angrily, the six paused, and started to look around.
"General!?" the middle of the cloth-robed soldiers called out. "General Tzu!?"
"Jordan, what is going on there?!" the voice above demanded. Jordan never looked back, his eyes fixated on the soldiers before him.
Behind them the orb began to create a new trail of light. It shot to the windows and exploded the glass, causing numerous screams of panic and fear. Light of blinding white flashed out.
"Where are we!?" the middle of the metal clad soldiers cried out, glancing around, though still not breaking formation with his men. "You!" he pointed to Jordan, who flinched, "Explain this metal prison! Who are these savages before me?!"
"Savages!?" the middle man in the trio before the massive shields barked. "We are not barbarians, you dog!" the man before him spat on his shield.
Without another word, the men before Jordan dived at one another, doing battle.
The scientist could only look up to the shattered glass above. He heard more screams, but now mixed with voices he did not recognize. Screams of war, battle, attack, retreat. The orb made another spear of light, and it shot through the metal wall seamlessly, impaling the rock and stone far behind the thick panels like it were paper.
All the while Jordan Looseman stood there, swallowed in the chaos spreading around him.
He couldn't say a word. Not that him being speechless was any different to his normal persona, but he couldn't say the only thought glued to his mind.
What had they done?
"Okay guys, with these pay-per-minute phones, as long as we're not restrained or anything, we should be able to stay in contact. Also, as long as we're not in certain topographical regions. Or magic isn't cutting us off. Or Alien technology. Or-"
"Gimme phone!"
Mabel's screech nearly tossed Dipper off his feet. He begrudgingly handed over the first of three phones to his sister, who snatched it and instantly gave it a deep, long, whiff with her nose. "Ahh," she sighed, "Smells like consumerism on a budget!"
"True dat, hambone," Soos nodded as he took the phone from Dipper.
"Thanks man," Wendy chuckled, and looked at her phone.
Waddles the Pig, sitting in the shade beside them, snorted and glared at Dipper.
"Sorry, as soon as they have 'pig-phones', I'll get you one, okay?" he promised Waddles. The pig seemed more content, and oinked casually. Dipper chuckled, "Great."
Coming to the texted location for Zander's next call, the gang had come all the way to a town that was even smaller than Gravity Falls: a town named Rachel. Barely a hundred people lived there, and many lived off the land as ranchers or farmers. The highway going by the small town exited to a well-needed gas-station, which was where the caravan of the gang had stopped. In the hot summer sun, the four (including the pig) had taken to a large picnic umbrella. Much to Dipper's shock, a particular image had been popular on the way in- displayed on various welcome signs and even a few statues erected in their likeness.
Afterwards, Dipper was the only one who was not sitting down. Mabel was playing with her new phone, punching in various commands. "Hey-hey! It has a calculator. If you turn it upside down, it says boobs! Pffft hahaha!"
Wendy had quickly pocketed her own cellphone. "I still don't see why Soos and I can't use our own."
"If these get tracked onto us," Dipper explained as he paced back and forth, "We can just toss them out and get new ones. This way, with Zander's unlimited money, we can always stay in touch without worry."
"It also totally makes us feel like secret agents and cool stuff," Soos said. He then dramatically flipped open his phone, "Yes, this is Captain Ramirez. I need four to be beamed down to the planet surface, dude."
"Hah, right," Dipper smiled, continuing to pace, "Secret agents." He continued to pace, his hands behind his back as he stared at the ground. The three and waddles watched him go back and forth for a few moments, as the gravel underneath his sneakers scraped and scratched against the ground.
Wendy leaned into the others. "Uh... so, is Dipper okay?" she quietly asked.
"Maybe he's nervous?" Soos asked.
Mabel sighed, blowing a strand of her hair out of her face with a 'pfft'. "No. That is the look of Dipper when he's like," she held up her thumb and index finger, holding them barely a milimeter apart, "This close to knocking a thing off his bucket list."
"Dipper has a bucket list?" Wendy gasped.
Dipper, hearing their hushed tones, turned and asked, "What are you guys talking about?" The three looked to him.
"That you have a bucket list," Soos shrugged. The two ladies smacked his arms. "I mean... you have a bucket 'lust'. Right."
Dipper stared at Soos, and then to Mabel. Behind his eyes, a quivering excitement was growing stronger and stronger.
"You see guys," Mabel said, and pointed to the sign on the gas station, "Dipper's always wanted to visit Area 51."
Dipper exploded. "Are you kidding me!?" he shouted, his eyes filled with lightning. "This is it! the big one! Next to the Bermuda triangle, it's one of the greatest large-scale mysteries on the North American continent!" he held out fingers, laying one out as he explained a theory, "Is it just an over-hyped research facility? Is it a secret alien base that the government is working with!?"
Mabel chuckled. "Is it actually a candy factory run by a legion of short people?" she suggested.
"No one knows!" Dipper laughed, missing his sister's comment. "People claim that it's been de-classified, but the United States government can't be trusted with what they release anymore, since they've already lied about it in the past! So, for all we know, it could be nothing or everything down there. And guys," Dipper pointed around, "This is one of the closest towns to it!"
The others looked around. True to Dipper's words, there wasn't a sign, poster, or welcome mat without a flying saucer, little green or gray alien, or some other wacky looking device for alien technology in it. As they looked around, they even noticed that the pole the umbrella stood on was a thinned-out gray alien, holding out the umbrella.
Dipper told them, grinning, "This is one of the towns that basically borders that fascility! Just think, we're like not even fifty miles away from one of the greatest kept secret bases in the world!"
"Well, not really," Soos said, "I mean, everyone knows about it, so it's not really a secret, is it?"
"Don't kill my hype, Soos," Dipper leaned closer, squinting his eyes as his tone became deadly, "You tread on thin ice. You've been warned." Soos leaned away, his eyes wide with fear.
Wendy asked, "Well, Zander wanted us here for the call, right? Not to get you too excited man, but maybe our next mission involves the area."
Dipper's face widened and a grin unlike any other spread across his face. "Oh my god! This is it! I'll have more than one reason to go to Area 51! I can finally do, go, see-"
"You tried, Wendy," Mabel patted the red-head's arm.
Dipper had turned, staring over the distant hills and mountains. "You're so close, you succulent mystery," he said with a deep, wanting tone.
"Ew. Dipper," Mabel pulled off her shoe and hit the back of his head with it, "Stop it."
"Ow! What?!" he snapped to her.
"Stop talking creepy," she demanded. He lifted the shoe and threw it back, which Mabel caught on its bee-line for her. "Bro," she started as he glared at her, "If you're lucky, Zander will totally send us to it. If not, we can come back and invade it maybe after the world has been saved?"
Dipper grumbled, and pocketed his hands. "I guess," he sighed.
"Also, you're going to burn like a piece of bacon if you stay out there. Get in the shade, dummy," she told him. Aware of his skin tone, Dipper gasped and rushed to hide under the umbrella, feeling his neck. "Did you burn already?!" she laughed.
"...no?" Dipper guessed, feeling his neck. Soos and Wendy chuckled as Dipper nervously looked to his shoulders and back, trying to guess the amount of damage his pale skin took.
"Dude, you gotta be like me," Wendy explained, "Undead or not, avoid the sun."
"Oho!" Soos held up a hand, "Using a bad situation as a uplifting joke?! Wendy, that's rad," Soos said as she slapped his hand in high-five.
A loud buzz came from Dipper's pocket. Faster and more excited than previously, Dipper reached inside and flung out his own phone. As he lifted it open, Mabel cried out. "Hey! How come you get to keep yours?"
Dipper stared at her. "Because unlike you, I know how to hide my phone from hackers and things," Dipper said.
"Yeah right," Mabel crossed her arms, "Probably just don't want to throw away all the pictures you took of Wendy."
Dipper's face went red-hot. Wendy pursed her lips and looked away along with Soos. Dipper's jaw was glued shut, but he snapped open his phone, and pressed the 'speaker' button. With visible effort, he lifted the phone. "We're here, Zander," he growled.
"Oh," the voice in the phone, "Did I catch you all at a bad time?"
"Mabel is being evil," Dipper snarled. Mabel winked at him.
"Ah. Well," Zander's voice coughed, "At least you're all well. Right? Got the stones?"
"We've got two now," Dipper said, looking back to his car, "And they... don't seem to be doing anything," he admitted. "And more to come. So far, nothing to bad has come from them."
Zander laughed. "Still, a horde of sentient, psionic, intelligent Bison, and a vampire and shape-shifter family. That's two for two for what I warned you," Zander reminded them, "Magic is dangerous and tends to bring out the worst in people. These stones will conduct and react to magic, it will attract things to them."
"At least it makes it kind of easy to tell where we could find them," Wendy said, ignoring Dipper's frowns at the phone from Zander's rhetoric.
Zander had heard Wendy. "Exactly. Once in the geographic area, you guys seem more than capable of looking for these on your own," Zander paused. "That's good to hear. I was worried you'd be struggling."
"We're not new to these sorts of things," Soos shrugged, "Like the one time we had to go chasing a pterodactyl to rescue waddles." Wendy stared at Soos, and then Waddles.
The pig oinked at her.
Wendy sighed, "Right, something else I missed."
"So, Zander," Dipper asked aloud, "Where or what are you sending us to?"
A pause followed his questions. They heard shuffling on his end, but finally, Zander sighed. "I can't lie to you guys. I was considering doing this one myself. The dangerous nature of this one is pretty... bad. I'm sending you to-"
"Yesss!" Dipper screamed, hopping up and down with his phone, "Yes! YES! YESSS!"
Zander's voice had fallen short. "... Oh. Not exactly what I expected," Zander's voice floated over the sounds of Dipper doing a victory dance.
Trying to shout over the sounds Dipper was making, Mabel said, "Dipper has always wanted to go to Area 51. Even before Gravity Falls. Like me going to visit the Sev'ral Times Mansion, before I learned they were all clones."
"Wow. You guys," Wendy shook her head, "Was there any day that passed while you visited where something didn't happen?"
Dipper stopped hopping to answer, "Not really."
"Not once," Mabel said.
Her eyes floated to stare away, distant like the blue horizon. "...Sixty days," Wendy softly muttered, "sixty days at minimum. I remember, like, maybe ten. Dang."
"Well, to put it bluntly," Zander continued, "The area I think you all need to go is Groom Lake."
"The salt-flat next to Area 51?" Dipper giddily asked.
"Yes," Zander said, and Dipper gave another long and slow 'yessssss', "The facility itself is kind of to the side, but I can only guess that there's a whole ton of underground base for everyone to deal with. So be careful, and be quick."
"Quick?" Wendy repeated, "Any quicker than normal?"
"Yes. Time is not on our side here, remember," Zander explained, "And things are getting worse on my end."
Soos fidgeted, "Uh, that just sounds like the most ominous thing you've ever said."
"What's going on?" Mabel asked, reaching over the table and taking the phone from Dipper, "Are you okay?"
"Of course, I'm okay," Zander said to them with air of amusement, "But our good friend, Graupner, is out of sight."
"He's vanished?!" Dipper gasped. "How?"
A tad more bemused than amused, Zander told them, "Well, he does have magic. The Paths teaches people how to battle magic, but not to counter it. We were tracing his movements and efforts up until very recently, but now he's... vanished. Sources say he was just fleeing from us, but my gut says he's up to something big," Zander explained.
"Good," Wendy said around, "He'll be too distracted to come looking for us."
"Or that's exactly what he's doing," Zander added, "Because I'm about ninety-nine percent sure that he's gathering his own collection of Starkissed Stones now."
"Why?" Dipper asked.
"No idea," Zander sighed, "That's the problem – you can do nearly anything with that stuff."
"So," Mabel began to summarize aloud, "Big jerk-face vanished, and he's doing evil stuff. That's not anything new. He always runs and hides like a baby, and then comes back pretending to be better. We'll still beat his stupid head again."
Zander laughed. "Gotta hand it to you Mabel, you talk a good fight. Just like you fight a good one." Mabel's cheeks flared up, and she laid the phone on the table as she held the edges for balance, her eyes unfocused as she swayed back and forth.
"Th-thanks," she managed to say with great effort.
"But seriously," Zander continued, "Hurry, and get that stone. The Steindorf company has been dissolved, and people looking into it now just… vanish. Graupner is playing so dirty he might as well just be mud at this point. We need to hurry, or more people will get hurt, not to mention more and more magic leaking into the world."
"Right," Dipper said, grabbing his phone again, "Then we'll be on our way. Wish us luck."
"I always have," he said, "but I never need to. Trained fighters, and strong minds, and not to mention Wendy's condition, make a great team."
"I can't really think what I have is helpful," Wendy grumbled.
"Hey," the soothing voice of a concerned Zander called, "Wraith's have it hard, but there's always hope, okay?" he said, "Just remember that." She stared at the phone in Dipper's hands, a strong crease in her brow. "Guys, good luck." The phone clicked as the connection dropped.
Mabel, swaying on the spot, asked, "Anyone else seeing stars?"
"No," Soos sighed, "I just see that creepy guy over by the gas station staring at us half way."
"How do you half-stare at you?" Dipper asked.
Soos instead pointed. "Like that."
Wendy and Dipper turned, and indeed, there was a man who had one eye fixed on them and another eye crooked off in the distance. He had a messy collection of alien gear, shirts, pants, and his own little umbrella. Staring at them as he panted in the hot air, he only just then realized he was noticed. Reaching behind him, he lifted a large simple rolled hat of tin foil, and placed it atop his head.
"You wanna buy an alien?" he asked them from the distance, a crooked smile flashing gnarled teeth.
"Aliens have feelings too dude!" Soos barked, standing up, "You can't sell anybody!" The man barked, and retreated behind the building, carrying his gear with him. Soos huffed, "To think if Yuki had seen him."
Dipper snorted. "He'd probably see that and know what kind of alien species it was. Tell him how 'inaccurate the depiction' was or something," he smiled, the tugging sadness of their lost friend in his brain. Then the re-realization came to be again. "And I get to go to Area 51! On official business! YES!" Waddles oinked in approval, and the gang set off into the cars yet again.
Barely half an hour away, the gang had begun to drive on dirt and entirely un-paved roads. The entire ride, Dipper had begun to hum various themes from his childhood; the Z-Files, Space Trek, and other sci-fi tunes bothered Mabel as she sat next to her brother, watching the climate around them pass by.
"I wonder if there are lizards under those rocks," she pointed to a large collection of boulders. "Maybe they'll squirt blood out of their eyes at their enemies! I'd be soo cool if I could do that," she mused to Dipper, a grin on her face.
Dipper was in a different world. He was in bliss. He was going to the first bucket list item he'd ever had. His mind raced at ideas, conspiracies, theories, vague sentences that drifted into nothing. Finally he settled on a single thought that caused him pause.
How do we get near the base?
The base was infamous for its high security. Heck, the gates to the place would be coming up soon, and he planned on stopping the car and turning around once he saw the gates. But the entire perimeter of the base was linked by machines for monitoring the area. Supposedly a mile in each direction could spot the slightest trace of human movement. If that were the case, they would be seen long before they had a chance to begin sneaking.
Then again... Dipper had impossible solutions.
He turned to the seat behind himself as a quick glance. His backpack, along with Mabel's, sat on the seats. Inside, he knew there to be four journals filled to the brim with magic and other answers that defied logic. His own was the one most likely to take, but it was incomplete. He could peer into the first or second? There were loads of tried out spells for various purposes.
Zander's words echoed in his mind. 'Magic is dangerous and tends to bring out the worst in people'. Dipper knew he was wrong. Magic had risks associated with it, certainly, but it was not, by nature, a corrupting force. It could do good just as well as it could do evil. Maybe, this time, it could do a bit of good for them.
"Look!" Mabel pointed ahead.
Dipper craned his neck forward and saw them. Distant signs. "They'll be for us, warning us that this is now dangerous territory. This is where we stop," Dipper grinned, and pulled the car to the side. Behind him, the car and motorcycle also came to a halt. "Let's go Mabel, and we should bring our backpacks with us," he said, "In case we need water."
"Or in your case, stupid amounts of sun-tan," she joked. Dipper grumbled at her, but let it slide. As he reached for his backpack, he checked the main pocket: the three journals were there. His sister, as he checked, didn't notice him looking. Even if she saw into the backpack, she already knew he carried his own at his side. Maybe, just for now, she didn't need to know his intentions. He could probably use Soos to distract her so he could create a spell to hide their movements.
"So, guys," Dipper said as he and Mabel met with Wendy, Soos, and Waddles, "We're going to head that way," he pointed to a valley and series of hills, it'll get us close to a break in their monitoring equipment, and we may be able to sneak by that way."
"Anything we need to do?" Soos asked, "I'm super ready for this. Secret Agent Soos, on the job!"
"For now, just stick together with everyone, and try avoiding their antennas," Dipper said, "They can spot you a good mile away, so if there's one nearby, we've already been spotted and need to run."
"What happens if they spot us?" Mabel asked, checking on her brother. His face lost some of the light, and he gulped. "Really? They'll go all cover-up on our butts?"
"They'll snipe us," Dipper said quietly.
"Hardcore, dude," Soos mumbled.
Dipper elaborated, "So, it is important when I say stick together. Don't break off, or anything. We could be in a race against time if we're spotted, so be careful." he paused, taking a short breath. "Ready?" he asked. Three nods, and an oink from waddles, and he said, "Let's move."
Hiking through the desert was less fun than Dipper had anticipated. Granted, he was giddy and had to keep himself from giggling each time he remembered that he was next to the infamous government facility. Yet the sun beating down on his hat, the dry air and dust all around him, and the worry of potential death should they be spotted at any time; this slowly was becoming more and more the mission rather than his dream.
Behind him, Mabel was finding more of a chance to enjoy herself. Without breaking pace, she would bend down, scoop up a rock with a, "Any Lizard under here? No? Phooey," and then continue until she saw such a rock. Mabel being herself, if not just a little chatty.
Dipper craned his head around to check on Soos. The man-child was also poking his head about, looking for signs of trouble or antennas. He seemed constantly under alert; his head swaying from side to side as he combed the region before him. Behind him was Waddles the pig, who casually trotted behind the man.
Some five minutes past that, and at least another dozen or so attempts from Mabel to look under a rock, Dipper chanced and scanned at Wendy.
Her eyes were lost in thought. Deep and distant and unfocused, she seemed more on autopilot than anything else. He tried scanning her for an indication of the thoughts she had. She was... tensed up. Her shoulders were taught, and her hands clasped into fists. Nothing, in Dipper's recent memory, said that she had been insulted.
Then again, Mabel did let it slip that he had taken on picture here or there of her.
Dipper turned back as Wendy adjust her stare to the horizon. He was walking ahead, and glanced to the sun. That heat on his face had been there before the rays struck him. Mabel just had to go and tell her about it, didn't she? Still, maybe it wasn't cool that he had snuck those pictures. I mean, it wasn't like they were anything bad. Just when she was chilling with Mabel, or with Soos... or alone, like that last one.
Along the side of a steep hill, Dipper stumbled, his foot catching the edge of a rock. "Gah," he hissed, hopping in the moment.
"Oh!" Mabel suddenly leapt down, and grasped a wriggling figure in her hands. "Looky! A horned Lizard!" she said proudly, holding up a very upset looking lizard with spiky armor all along it's back.
"Aw dude," Wendy pushed past Soos, who was busy looking up the hill slightly, "I love those stupid little things."
"Huh? That's not very nice," Mabel scolded Wendy, puffing her lips as she spoke, "She really does like you, mister lizard," Mabel said as the small creature glared at her. Waddles approached, attempting to sniff the Lizard, only to have it hiss in his face.
"I mean stupid in an endearing way, man," Wendy rolled her eyes, "like when I talked about my brothers. Dumb jerks."
"Oh! Or me and my stupid brother," Mabel laughed with Wendy.
Dipper, glaring at the two, adjusted himself. "Okay, ha-ha, funny. Can we go now?" he asked.
"Sure! We've got a new navigator!" Mabel declared, and held up the lizard, "Say hello to mister Tourniquet!"
"Tourniquet?" Dipper asked, cocking his head to the side. "Why Tourni-" Mabel gave a loud 'squee', and then promptly squeezed the lizard. Two small jets of blood shot out from the corners of the eyes of the horned lizard. Dipper yelped and leapt backwards, holding his hands up in defense. "Mabel! That's horrible!"
She cackled, "The power of the desert, sucka!"
"You could hurt it!" Dipper pleaded.
"Nah, that's normal for these dudes," Wendy shrugged, "Totally gross, but whatever. It makes things doubt wanting to eat 'em."
"That's freaky," Dipper stated.
"That's SCIENCE!" Mabel roared.
With loud panting, Soos can jogging up the hill again. "More like nature dude. Science is what happens after you make nature crazier."
Dipper turned to Soos, and his head slowly turned to the side. Soos was carrying something large, long, and metallic. "Soos, I don't remember you taking a walking stick or anything. What is that?" he asked.
"This? I dunno, looked like an antenna, so I decided to grab it and take it down so no one could track us," Soos nodded.
The three stared at him. Wendy was first to speak. "You walked up, and dismantled an antenna?"
Soos scratched his forehead and eyed the metal he held. "Eh, it had no wires or anything, so instead I kicked out this camera here," Soos pointed to a sophisticated yet dangling by a wire device, which pointed at Wendy and Mabel. The three continued to stare at him. From his accomplished and satisfied light in his eyes, a new darkness crept in. "Uhh," Soos paused, holding the device in his hands higher up, "So, if there was no wires, chances are that it's still recording, right?" he asked.
"Dive!" Dipper shouted.
He, Mabel, Wendy, and Waddles slammed into the ground. Mabel cuddled the lizard around her body and wiggled closed to Waddles. There was decent enough protection to assume that should bullets begin to race around, they would have some amount of cover. Dipper felt, strangely enough, a shadow lingering over him. He turned his gaze up, and saw Soos still standing, clenching his shoulder up as he held the antenna above him.
"Soos!" he hissed, "The heck are you doing!?"
"Well, maybe if they see I have the antenna they won't shoot? Like, you know," Soos chuckled and swallowed, his words trembling, "Property damage and stuff."
"Wait," Wendy poked her head up, addressing the gang, "If that thing has been running all this time, and can detect things for like a mile, people would have known we were here a while back," she pointed out.
"Oh boy," Mabel gulped, "Bad news to really bad news."
"No," Dipper countered, and slowly stood up. "They'd have responded by now. They don't let people get closer without responding in force. So…" he turned and looked up the large hill that divided them and the grandest of mysteries. "Something isn't right," he stated.
"Dipper?" Wendy asked, "If something isn't right, what could it be?"
Dipper turned, his eyes wide. "I have no id-"
A whistling in the air caught his attention. It was coming from behind, and getting louder and louder. He spun just in time to see what could have been shards of black in the air growing and becoming full-sized arrows as they flew into view. He jumped backwards, falling next to his sister in the dirt, but avoiding the arrows that meant to puncture his chest or back.
"Arrows?!" he gasped.
"Man, the economy must have got to everyone," Soos admitted, "Even Area 51 had budget cuts."
"No, look!" Wendy pointed ahead to the hills, where a squadron of men rushed down, loud clanking of some sort of metal and leather armor announcing their loud arrival. As they came closer, two more arrows were fired. "Hey!" she shouted and dived forward. Her hand reached out, and with a loud thud, an arrow struck her hand as the other missed her by a foot. "That hurt!" she roared, tearing the arrow shaft out from her hand like it were nothing.
The first soldier, in gold and yellow armor of an ancient make ran at her, drawing a thin, straight blade which shone in the light as he thrust at her. "Submit to our majesties rule!" he shouted, his face drawn back in a scream. Wendy took to her training and ducked aside, and made to kick. The man gasped as her foot lifted him back into the air a foot, and he was dropped as she brought herself back, poised to fight as he fell to the floor.
"Take them down!" one behind the now groaning warrior shouted, "for Wu!"
"Tourniquet, I choose you!" Mabel roared and threw the lizard at the speaking man. The aptly named lizard flew through the air and landed, smack middle in the man's face. The warrior instantly dropped his sword and shield with a scream, and began to try prying the creature off his face as it bled all over him.
"What is this dragon!? What is it doing to me?!"
"Captain!" the next closest soldier came to his aid, but Mabel was already on them. With a whirl of movement and then a twist as she leapt into the air, she delivered a flying roundhouse kick into the chest of the captain. Even with his sufficient armor, he flew backwards, the lizard plopping off harmlessly and skittering away. The other soldier took swings at Mabel, who ducked, swerved, and dodged from harm's way. After three attacks, Mabel jabbed at his neck, and knocked him to his back as she swept away his knees.
As he fell, the two archers behind him fell into view. Mabel had nowhere to hide.
"Antenna! I choose you!" Soos shouted as he took his turn and hurled the person-sized metal pole at the two men. Stunned from their attack, they could only watch as a thirty-pound pipe with wires and gadgets spun at them like a discus of death. They were crushed underneath it, and moaned as they fell to their sides.
Dipper rushed up to the others. "Nice," Dipper sighed, "glad we could deal with that."
"We?" Mabel chuckled and looked at him.
Dipper looked back. "Well... yeah... I realized that something was off..."
"That was Wendy, dude," Mabel pointed out with a small smirk.
Dipper blinked, and gasped. "Wendy!" he turned, and she was checking her hand.
"I'm fine," she mumbled, still holding the arrow that wounded her. "This isn't the first time I got nailed with an arrow before."
"Wait, really?" Dipper asked.
"Well, okay, no," Wendy shrugged, "Technically, it was a crossbow bolt, but whatever."
"But... you don't have a scar," Dipper pointed out.
"Oh! Did it happen while you were a wraith, and so it's healed over magically?" Soos asked excitedly.
"No. It happened right here," Wendy pointed to just below her naval. "Hence, no bikinis for me."
"Awww, lame," Mabel wined. "I bet you look great in them."
"Eh, scar is gnarly, but no one else probably wants to see it," Wendy shrugged.
Mabel grinned and looked to Dipper. "I bet I know someone who would want to-" Dipper was so fast with his punch to her nose that she couldn't repel it. She felt the jab and pulled back. "Ow! Ahhh, dang it," she mumbled, holding her face.
Dipper, desperate to move the conversation away, said, "Let's not get too off track here." Instead, he stared to the five defeated men, who had all fallen to the ground. "Anyone else recognize these soldiers uniforms?"
"Ah, yes," Soos nodded, "Rugby gear."
"No!" Dipper barked at him.
"Aww," Soos hung his head, "thought I nailed it."
Dipper sighed and lifted the closest to him up, showing his chest armor off. "This is ancient Chinese Wu dynasty warrior material."
The red-head gasped, smiling. "And you know that, how?"
Mabel was quick to the answer as she lowered her hand from her mildly smacked nose. "Because he's a jerk-know it all."
"Terracotta army," Dipper explained, "Same type of gear. Granted, slightly older than that, but the make and design matches closely," Dipper debated with himself.
"So," Wendy stepped closer, leaning down to the man next to Dipper, "What the heck are a few ancient Chinese soldiers doing nearby area 51?" she asked.
Dipper had to take a moment to answer. One, Wendy leaning in so close to him was a moment where his head began to swim. Two, the first answer that came to mind was more than ridiculous. Yet as he re-considered his thoughts, there was only one answer that continued to pop in his head.
"Time-Travel," Dipper sighed.
Mabel grumbled, "More conspiracy theories, yay. Anything else we should be on the lookout?" she asked him with a quick stick out of her tongue.
Dipper, standing back to his feet, thought hard. "Yeah, a whole sea of things could be waiting for us," Dipper said, "But I get the feeling that if these guys were out and wondering around, we have more pressing issues to deal with."
"Agreed, intrepid analysis," Soos nodded as he and Waddles stepped up to them. "We should totally go find the secret base and take it for our own and stuff. Sounds totally awesome."
"That it does," Dipper said with a sinister air. "Since we still haven't had our heads blown off by snipers, I think it's safe to say we can just climb the path these losers took." He turned to the others, "Shall we?"
The four and the pig left behind the knocked out and bested soldiers. The less stable hillside was covered with loose rocks and small boulders, becoming a problem for Dipper as he took the point on the climb. Eventually Wendy took over for him, and lead the way up and over the hill. With her guidance, the four made it to the top.
Mabel, pulling herself alongside Dipper, examined herself from the climb. "Huh. Just as desert-y and dry as I expected," Mabel sighed, patting her clothes from dust and dirt. Some of it got into her mouth. "Blech! Ugh! It tastes like nerds and conspiracy theorist sweat."
Soos, at the bottom of the marching order, turned his ear to the sky. Nervous, he asked, "You dudes hear something?"
Waddles oinked loudly. Gathering the attention of the four, he pointed his nose with curt jab. Towards the bottom of the valley before them, a sea of movement washed and waved before them. Crashes and cries of valor and swears of victory rang out in the air. Dipper, with his countless hours of studying could see the entire topography before him like he had always seen it written down. Except that was much more color than he expected. Gold and red shone below in clashing surges of men.
"What the heck-doodles is going down... down there?" Mabel asked.
"I don't know," Dipper said slowly, "But I bet it has something to do with why we're here."
"Hate to say it," Wendy sighed, "That was my guess as well."
Soos declared, "Then onward, my intrepid warriors! For Mission Soos!"
Waddles squealed behind them, his little legs trembling.
"Oh, Waddles," Mabel turned to the pig, "Maybe you should go back to the car, okay? This could get really dangerous."
Waddles gave them all a solid stare. The black beady eyes in his head studied them all, and finally he turned. Though not all had Mabel's animal connection, but they were certain that the pig swayed away from them in a very defeated manner. After a short pause, the pig vanished over to the side, leaving them be.
"He'll be okay, Mabel," Dipper told her. "He survived worse at Gravity Falls, didn't he?"
"I guess so," Mabel nodded, and scratched her eyelids and gave out a sniffle. "Let's get this over quickly so we don't leave him hanging."
"Can I now say my thing?" Soos said. The three nodded to him. "Yus! Onward, my intrepid warriors! For Mission SOOS!"
Climbing down the hill wasn't a problem. Doing so while avoiding detection was much more difficult. The pebbles and loose rock on the side of the steep hill made it a treacherous climb down anyway, but darting quickly behind rocks and boulders of large size was dangerous. More than once Dipper and Soos nearly tripped and made them spill down the hill face-first.
As they got closer and closer, the sight grew closer and closer. They were looking at not a single army, but two.
Armies in the middle of an on-going and vicious battle.
Behind a rock, the four stared atop a final, steep hill.
Leaning out from behind a large boulder, Dipper whispered, "You're kidding me."
"What is it?" Wendy asked, just above him on their side, while Mabel and Soos leaned over on the other side.
"It's the Romans," Dipper gasped.
"Romans?" Mabel and Soos replied.
"I think they're from the Republic," Dipper said, squinting at the armors, "It's kind of hard to tell when they're all fighting one anoth-" a particular duel between a roman soldier and Chinese soldier caught their attention. All but Dipper pulled back, worried they'd be seen. Dipper watched the fight, his mouth hung open and nearly drooling. "That's soo cool."
"Down!" Wendy hissed, and tugged on his vest. He did oblige and pull himself down. Wendy, looking hastily between each of her friends, asked, "So now two armies. This could help, right?"
"I mean, maybe," Dipper mused, "These are probably some of the most successful armies of their regions-
"And they're out there, just duking it," Mabel commented.
Dipper immediately went into theorizing. "I think we're looking at some sort of disastrous experiment," Dipper suggested, "Now the whole area has to deal with crazy ancient warriors vying for control over Area 51."
Soos whistled. "Wow! they got up to date if they already know the strategic value of this base."
"Or maybe they just want control of wherever they just appeared," Dipper said as he leaned back out. "Either way, we could use their focus on each other as a hope to get around them. As long as the Romans didn't happen to have their artillery, we should be okay here."
"Oh good," Soos nodded, and he and Mabel also looked around their side, as Wendy peeked around Dipper.
"Just curious," Mabel pondered, "Did Roman artillery look like a crazy, over-sized, rubber-band, crossbow thingy?"
"That's one of them," Dipper nodded, and looked behind the rock to his sister, "Why?" She leaned back, a terrible look in her face as she grimaced at him. Suddenly he understood, and merely said, "Oh."
A ballista bolt split the rock in half, missing Wendy's bottom half by mere inches. As the four screamed, the boulder split into two pieces, and along with its sudden split, the placement on the hill shifted. The two duos fell apart, rolling down the hill in free-fall as the halves of the boulders created paths in the earth. They were out of control, spilling in separate directions.
Dipper landed on his back, staring up at the sky. His shoulders, knees, elbows, hips- it all ached. Lying there, he forgot what had just happened- only that his head was ringing a little bit. Still, he heard his name called out again.
"Mabel?" he called.
A red splash of hair covered his face, and Wendy appeared before him.
"Dipper!" she called, "Get up!"
"I'm okay," he told her, and he slowly stood up, and bent down, brushing the dirt and dust off his figure. "Are you oka-oohhhh," he looked around.
Wendy and him had rolled right into the middle of the ancient Chinese army. Spears and swords surrounded them, and not a single face of the soldiers looked friendly. Wendy was at his back, her arms raised in a defensive posture.
"Dipper," Wendy asked him, "When I say go, just run."
"No way," Dipper shook his head, reaching for his backpack slowly.
"They can't kill me, remember?" she hissed at him.
"Yeah, maybe," he told her, "But you can't win."
"I don't need to."
"I do," Dipper grinned, and pulled out one of the journals. His fingers found the icon of the number two, and he felt armed. "Wendy, you got my back, right?"
She turned briefly, and a grin crawled onto her face. "Always, dude."
"Cover me. And whatever you see me do," Dipper begged as he flipped open the pages rapidly, "don't tell Mabel."
The amount of research for this episode was stupid. I never recommend writing about both Ancient Romans, Ancient Chinese, and Area 51 in the same entry. Not that... it's a common mix anyway. Unless you're writing a fan-fiction for, uh, Civilization V or something. Hm. Now that I think about it...
Anyway! More revealing, more danger, and more Dipper being a GOOF! :D I do enjoy Dipper when he's just a tad exposed. He's always knowing, but he's still a teenager who does teenager things now and again. After all, he's somehow related to Mabel.
Boy, Zander seemed to know what he was talking about earlier, didn't he? :p
Sadly, I don't have much else to say for now. Hope you guys are ready for the action packed next chapter, in which the gang has to fix the mess that the scientists of the Black Research Facility Area 51 caused!
Anyhoo, seeya guys next time!
(One of the two halves of the boulders rolls towards EZB, who is directly in his path.) Uh-oh! Incoming danger! (he then casually takes his rolling chair and, well, rolls aside. The boulder half flies away without problem.)
Ha! Not today, sucker! (The boulder suddenly stops, spins around, and makes a Bee-line for EZB, who can only gulp.) Oh. Spoke way, waaay too soon- (EZB is squashed by the metric ton of weight that is the rock half.)