We had been in our new location for two weeks already. No one heard from Danny the whole time. But the show must go on. Strangely enough my parents didn't fight any more since he was taken by the police. They just spent their time in silence.

There was a nice little church in the centre of the town we stayed at this time. Slightly bigger town than the last. No corner stores. And the people visited the fair more frequently, putting everyone's minds at ease. Everybody's but mine.

At the show tonight would be the premiere of my new show with May. The slightly increasing sales made it possible for me to take more time to train with her but there still has to be a time when I aced the last landing.

I was backstage, preparing May for her performance. I didn't like putting a yoke on her but to maintain the same flashy atmosphere as the rest of the show I painted golden patterns on her forehead and back.

"Sorry May. You know I would love you to just go out as beautiful as you are without all the mess." I whispered to her and she patted my shoulder with her trunk as I pressed a golden hand print between her eyes, petting her in the meantime.

"I know. You don't like being all dolled up, do you?" May let her trunk sink and wiggled her ears.

I took a new swap of colour and drew a line from my hairline straight down to the tip of my nose.

"See, now we're both something that we don't like." She shifted from one leg to another and behind her the curtains of the tent swished like someone entered.

"Hello?" I said but knew full well that I won't get an answer. "Patrick? Show yourself!"

I put down the paint and went towards the curtain when a young man stepped out.

"Hi." He stuttered and wrestled with his jacket in his hands. "I didn't know how long you will be here with the carnival so I figured I'll come to see you. Didn't want to wait until next Sunday."

I'd met him in church two weeks ago and we had talked a bit. He was cute with his brown eyes and freckles. Also I could read him like an open book. He knew fully well that I would be gone in a few weeks and that he would never hear from me again. But that was what he wanted, wasn't it? Even though it was hard to believe for him to have ulterior motives like that with all his stuttering and his nervousness. He eyed me up and down as he had probably never seen a girl in an attire like my show costume before.

"You're not supposed to be in here." I say with a smile on my face and walk closer to him. For a second his eyes were scared. But he lost that fear when I didn't say anything else to throw him out.

"I thought you could maybe show me around?"

The audience in the tent behind us cheered loudly.

"I have to be on stage soon. But I could introduce you to May." I said as I wiped my hands on a towel.

"Sure. Who's May?" He followed me deeper into the backstage area.

I chuckled. "The main attraction of our show." I stepped next to her and petted her shoulder. "Hey May, I brought someone who wants to visit you. That's Lucas."

Lucas eyed May and slowly, step by step, came closer.

"You don't have to be scared. She loves people." I reached out my hand to him and he took it. It was like teaching your little brother to walk. But not really because you don't think about kissing your little brother. But I thought about kissing Lucas. Because he's here now and he will be gone in a few weeks. And he's so much not Patrick that it will make Patrick incredibly jealous. But of course I would never do something with the sole purpose of making a certain person jealous. Lucas is also cute.

"Can I touch her?" He asked with a fascination in his voice that made him more a human than just an object to be kissed. My bad conscience flooded over me but I held it down.

"Course." I smiled as he held his hand out as if he waited for May to come to him. She being her impatient self, tried to grab his hand with her trunk and Lucas stepped back, tripping over the can of golden paint. It sent him falling and me with him because he grabbed my hand even tighter.

He looked so shocked that I couldn't contain myself. I roared with laughter and his cheeks blushed. He was about to get up, but I held him back.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. You just had a really funny look on your face." I knew that if he thought I ridiculed him he would leave and never come back. He had that kind of ego.

"I didn't expect her to move like that." His voice sheepish.

"I know. It's fine." I said while I picked straw out of his auburn hair. He looked at me and for once I couldn't read his expression and then he kissed me. It was a kiss full of bad conscience and wishes that he was someone else and when I opened my eyes I saw Patrick standing in between the curtains. Almost not there but his eyes were piercing through me and for a second I saw rage that had puddled up for way too long. And then he walked over to us in a pace that startled me and I stood.

"Hi, I'm Patrick. She calls me Paddy. And who are you?", Patrick reached out his hand to Lucas and yanked him to stand between us. Always with a wide unbroken smile while picking straw off of him, too fast to hinder him. Before Lucas could say anything, Patrick went on talking. "Nice to meet you. Sorry I just need to speak to Annie for a moment."

When it took Lucas a second too long to realize that he was asked to move, Patrick moved him himself. "Excuse me. Just a moment." While Lucas stood dumbstruck behind Patrick, Patrick turned to me and I tried to intervene but he silenced me with his words. "Nice guy you got there. A bit silent. Didn't know you liked that. But well... we all like different things, right?" His laugh was as forced as this monologue and when Lucas started to say something, Patrick interrupted him again. "Actually I just wanted to inform you that I will leave the carnival for a bit. Since you were so angry with me last time I thought I'd tell you now. And also I wanted to tell you good luck for you know... The show. And I wanted to do this." Without any sign of warning he pulled my face towards his and pressed a rough kiss on my lips. Then he left without looking back. I wanted to cry as well as run and yell at him. Not so much because he embarrassed me but because I was furious for him kissing me so nonchalantly and relieve me of our first kiss as a way of coming back at me. It shouldn't have been this way; not stolen but given freely and not out of retaliation. Never out of revenge.

Someone called my name and that was my sign to get ready.

"I need to get going now." I explained to Lucas without looking at him. As if nothing happened I stripped on my gloves and turned to May. She was dangerously quiet as she witnessed all my mixed feelings and the confusion.

"Take care." Lucas called after me as I promenaded into the spotlight of the arena. The crowd went dead quiet as the violins started their piece and I swung onto May's back. She immediately jumped onto her front legs and we remained still as the first applause crashed through the tent. May performed everything to perfection and the crowd constantly swayed between silent awe and raging excitement and then the last pose demanded me to jump from her trunk three meters to the ground and I landed. And my ankle twisted in a way that made me suck my breath in, close to screaming. But I landed straight and I stood with my arms in the air, a tear of pain rolling from my cheek while I tried to smile for the audience. I signed for May to carry me away so I didn't break the charm of a nearly perfect performance. The crowd cheered and cheered until I was lost in the curtains and finally backstage I could whimper the pain out of my body and fall to the ground like it should have been. And I cried out of hurt and because of the lightly swollen ankle.

It could have been worse. I could have fallen and ended up with a broken neck. I could have kissed Lucas and not felt weird. I could have been caught by Patrick and he could have been indifferent. It's all not as bad. All fixable by ice on an ankle and time.