"Morning." Patrick said, yanking me out of my thoughts. He mimicked me by propping his forearms on the upper beam of May's enclosure fence and we both ended up watching her toy with a small tree in the distance. Well, it was rather he watching May while I watched him.

"Morning." I echoed. It was the first rays of sun that I was able to witness outside again since the hospital and it was a bonus to see the light deliciously touching his shirt-dressed shoulders and unruly hair. I closed my eyes for just a moment, taking in the warmth of the sun on my back and his arm against mine.

When I opened them again, he was looking at me with curious eyes.

"There's rumor about the police showing up at your trailer last night. What happened?"

It was then, that I realized his morning was filled with a lot more worrying than mine was. A little bit of guilt rose up in my stomach because right now there was no worry in the world to ruin my morning.

"They paid a visit, yes." I sighed and he waited for me to elaborate. "Some outsider had notified them of the obvious offense against the prostitution law of this county that was clearly going on."

Patrick's loud laugh seemed as odd in this moment as it didn't seem out of place at all in this setting. This morning felt like laughter but what I had told him was nothing laughable. On the contrary: I had been silently crying myself to sleep yesterday because of this rude and formal insult to my person and my behavior. If I could, I would take back everything that had happened in this town. Every single thing I did. Yesterday night, I had suddenly doubted myself to the point of worthlessness and unimportance, to the point of self-hate that I had never before thought I would be capable of. I had always been a girl that knew who she was. But having to defend yourself against such crude accusations in front of your father and your mother and two police officers in the middle of the night, did weird things to a person's mind. And once this door in my thoughts had been opened, the dark of the aftermath had done the rest. I didn't remember when I fell asleep. It was somewhere between 'Why do I have to have this kind of life' and 'I wish I was never born' and stifled sobs because I didn't want to draw the attention of my little brother in the upper bunk bed. I was a big girl and I didn't want him to know that his older sister was forced to her knees by some outsider. Even though I had to have a whole defensive plea for my sex life in front of my parents, I still had some kind of pride.

"Wait. You are serious." His laughter fell from his face and he let his arms slide off the fence. "Who made that claim?"

"They wouldn't tell. But I guess it was Lucas. I made him angry yesterday." I answered timidly and delicately shredded a leaf between my fingers. I really hoped Patrick wouldn't take it the wrong way that I was still in contact with Lucas.

"Are you sure it was him?" His stare was determined and for a second I regretted telling him because I only added to his worry. At the same time it was nice to have someone care about my well being.

"Mostly." I admitted. "When I told him to leave me alone, he threatened to come after me. Mariah was with me at the time."

Patrick looked even more shocked but not only shocked. His fists clenched and shoulders shrugged back. He suddenly pulled me into a strong but gentle hug. My fingers let go of the leaf's pieces.

"Why didn't you come to me?" His voice was a mere whisper, not angry, not disappointed. Only anxiously pleading for something I should have known to do.

I didn't know an answer to that question. I hadn't known I had someone to care for my problems alongside me. Previously, it had been me alone against everyone and against him, too. Habits didn't just get lost because one resolved another problem. Habits stayed longer than they should.

The realization that I could have just went and talked to him struck me to the core. It wasn't something I could just assume as a given. I had never just asked people for help. My pride or my upbringing had kept me from that. Or the silent doubt that Patrick would change his mind again like the times before.

"I guess, I was scared.", was my answer and it contained everything I could reply to his question.

Patrick leaned back and looked at me like he never did before. Or had his eyes once stroked me like that? I couldn't tell because he never was this close to me on his behalf alone. His arm held me keenly, warmly, familiarly. One hand pretended to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear while his fingertips lingered on the skin of my neck.

"I will always protect you when you entrust me with it. I promise." There was no mocking in his tone. No laugh and no ambiguity.

I nod, unable to voice what tingled through my system.

"I will defend your honor if you want me to." He smirked and his face lit up without the sunlight even touching it, seemingly taking pride in his promise. I was thankful for the change of mood that this small joke brought along. Being speechless was so unlike me that it made me feel slightly uncomfortable and pressured. And as he had sensed it, he stepped in and saved me.

I felt my reservation gradually fall, bit by bit, with everything he promised and any of my feelings he managed to deduce and act on. I was scared and grateful at the same time. Like stripping naked and waiting for a reaction. He had all the right ones. All but one.

He didn't kiss me. But he also didn't make me feel rejected. There was great anticipation in every touch he shared with me and for the moment, it was enough to school myself in patience and linger in the unbearable and luscious moment of almost.

"Just promise me, you won't do something incredibly stupid." I begged him and let my hand slide along his chest. It was almost enough to distract me from everything we had previously talked about.

He threw his hand on his chest like I deeply hurt him. Conveniently the place of his heart was also where my hand lay and he wrapped his fingers around it after he was done playing hurt. "I would never do something stupid." He smirked again. "You know me."