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Also Warning for physical violence in this chapter.

When he stopped kissing me, it felt like I was coming to life again, waking up from too surreal of a dream. I still felt dizzy like I hadn't breathed for a minute straight. I probably hadn't. But the kiss didn't hold up to what he promised it would. It didn't make up for the stolen kiss and the rudeness of the ambush. What did make up for it though, was that he had waited for my approval before taking action this time. It wasn't about that he did to me but that we did together and it felt much better this way. Comfortable and safe and trusting; he achieved all of that with one moment.

"I love kissing you." Patrick breathed and my heart startled at the word love. The danger of blushing bright red was too immanent to be ignored, so I just smiled and jerked my head in the direction of the circus tent. A sort of proposal to get going. Anything to hide my awkwardness, I guess. I hated leaving his direct proximity because of my embarrassment but now was too late to contemplate my actions. It didn't matter because now he offered his hand and I grabbed it, turning around, running right into someone. I was about to apologize and sidestep when I recognized the gray.

"Providing your services again?" Lucas said. Immediately I let go of Patrick's hand.

"No, I don't", as if I had the duty to justify my actions to this townie. I regretted letting go on the spot. I turned to Patrick to see if I made him angry. Turned out he needed both his fists to clench anyways, while Lucas seemed to count my backing up as victory and tried to mock me further.

"Oh, don't leave. I got some curious friends who want to meet you. They even got some bills, too. Can't disappoint them now." Lucas got uncomfortably close. Every word he spoke was oozing with threat. Whenever I took a step back, he urged forward, too. I didn't even think about making an escape. All I could think of was covering, cowardly hiding in myself, hoping to conceal me from his towering glare. I was eternally thankful for Patrick to pull me away, dragging me along with him fast. He said something about going somewhere. I almost thought we were safe when I was suddenly jerked back by my elbow.

"I told you to stay, bitch." Lucas bellowed. But I didn't react. I stared at Patrick because I could hear the last drops aggregate. I could hear them fall and I felt the glass overflow. It was like a shock wave that suddenly turned and washed over Patrick, made him even angrier and go for Lucas.

For a second, I thought he'd hit him. But he didn't.

"Hey, carny freak. How about you leave her to me tonight. You'll get your part after tomorrow." Lucas proposed, trading for me like they were best friends. It left me unable to speak, unable to move. I just stood behind Patrick, hiding, close to crying. I didn't want him to fight, but I also didn't want Lucas to have power over me.

"You flatter yourself by thinking she would even consider you." I had never heard Patrick this angry. He quite audibly tried his best to keep his tone down and his shoulders strained, prepared for whatever Lucas was up to. After all he had more than enough experience with temperamental men. He knew what could happen, how mad they really were. Still he braved the threat and shielded me from Lucas.

"Oh she considered me real good."

I felt sick. It's not like I didn't want to defend myself. It's that I couldn't. I didn't find the words or the movement in me.

"Leave.", Patrick ordered nicer than I would be able to. "You're alone. You're drunk. You hurt your left leg. You're not even close to using all your strength. You're not used to fighting on your own without your gang."

Lucas sneered. "You think your psycho tricks scare me?"

"You're on our territory. Take the chance and leave." Patrick's voice echoed anger and force. I admired him for having that while also being scared with shaking hands. Could also be adrenaline of course. Probably both: fear and attentiveness. It was still more than I could muster.

"Or what? You're gonna call over your fucking carny friends? Old grandpa at the sweets or crazy black hot dog lady?" Lucas shoved him. People started looking. I felt the contemplating going on in Patrick's mind. He took a step back, his right arm stretched out weakly, forming a barricade against Lucas where I stood. As if I needed holding back.

He was probably trying really hard to keep his anger in check himself without showing too much.

"Listen, I promised not to hurt you. Just leave and you'll get your wallet back."

Lucas was about to laugh, when Patrick waved the expensive looking thing in front of his face. Neither me nor Lucas had noticed the pickpocketing. I expected Lucas to be surprised, maybe check his pants pockets. But for once he wasn't dumbstruck. He leaped for Patrick openly, in front of everyone, throwing him to the ground and lunching for his first strike. His fist only missed Patrick by half an inch because he managed to duck away. But now Lucas pushed his face in the mud, inhibiting another evasion. I begged him to stop.

"Listen to the little bitch. This has nothing to do with you." It was only a second until Patrick had wrestled with Lucas enough to turn him around, pinning him to the ground now. I tried to pull him away, saving us from trouble because surely it would be blamed on us if Lucas got hurt. Patrick ignored me. It was my fault. My fault. I didn't want this. I cried. I tugged at Patrick.

"Give up!" I heard Patrick yell through my own sobs. Lucas swayed at him again and hit his chin because Patrick couldn't move away or he would have lost the upper hand. He didn't wince or move away. He only secured the loose arm, too. People just watched as Lucas struggled in the mud, now with both arms restrained, grunting and yelling insults.

"Quit already!" Patrick's voice was a scream that I hadn't heard of him before. At that point, Lucas' body went limb, only breathing angrily. Patrick waited a moment longer and finally released his grip and stumbled towards me, pulling me to a sufficiently safe distance from Lucas. He was about to speak, when Lucas interfered, while slowly picking himself up in a circle of shame between the crowd that was pretending to mind their own business again.

"You will not always be there.", he yelled after us before picking up his wallet from the ground, covered in junks of earth and grass. That's when Patrick took the chance and gently but determinedly turned me to face him.

"Meet me in the circus ring. Don't walk home alone. I will come and get you." I almost couldn't follow. His voice was too serious for the seeming victory he had just achieved. I was too distracted by the bruise near his mouth that started to form and his bleeding lower lip.

"What? No! You promised me not to do something stupid." I held onto his hand. I knew he just wanted to keep me safe and that as long as Lucas was around here, I was never really safe. But I couldn't risk him getting in trouble recklessly.

"I'll only talk to him. Trust me." His eyes told me, he was telling the truth. But also he was a master of delusion like we all had witnessed with the pickpocketing. He was perfectly capable of lying, although he had never really lied to my face like that. I just had to trust him or let him prove me wrong. However you wanted to put it. I nodded which was appreciated with a smile of his although it probably ripped at his torn lip again. He wiped my tear stains away with a hand that left dust on my cheeks and he let go of my hand. I hesitantly took a few steps back. Eyes hopping from him to Lucas, who was walking towards us. Patrick's smile tried to convince me that nothing was wrong. He almost succeeded but I still ran.