Crue rode up in an elevator to Ozpin's office, all the while having an argument between himself and whoever he called 'The Author'. "Look, all I'm saying is that I am not having a harem. I don't care how much you try and force it, I'm not having one. I don't give a shit what laws you change, or make it so that they're 'socially acceptable', I'm not having one."

He leaned against the back of the elevator, a frown on his face. "Especially not a team harem. I've got my own ships to try and sail. Hell, you know what, you help me make them canon and I'll try and follow whatever storyline you've set out for me." He bargained.

Crue cleared his throat. "Alright, number one: Bumblby. No questions there. Second: Arkos. They deserve it after the finale. Actually wait, I'm making sure the finale doesn't happen. Ok, you can put that one on a back burner. Third: Nuts and Dolts. Same as Arkos, I'm making sure she survives, so just sort of, let it float."

"I don't really care who you stick Weiss with. Not to be mean of course. I just never really shipped her with anyone." Crue shrugged. "It is becoming freaky how easily I talk to you." He told 'The Author'. He noticed that the elevator was nearing the top floor. "Alright, time to pretend I haven't been talking with some omnipotent being." He cleared his throat and stood straight.

The elevator doors opened, showing Ozpin sitting pensively behind his desk, hands intertwined and staring at Crue. Beside his desk stood Glynda Goodwitch, staring at Crue over her oval spectacles. "Good mor-" Crue stopped himself, taking out his pocket watch and clicking it open. "Afternoon." He corrected himself, putting it back into his waist coat pocket after checking the time.

"Mr. Cullen. I trust you have come to a decision as to whether or not you shall stay and study at Beacon." Ozpin asked, a small smirk on his features, as though he already knew the answer.

"Well, after immense consideration, weighing out all of the pros and cons, debating whether or not my lifestyle is actually suited for this kind of work," Crue went on. "If I'm doing this, I'm going to drag it out as much as physically possible." "and whether or not I'd have enough money for it, would I actually fit in among Beacon, are there people here who would disrespect or disgrace me due to my heritage, wou-"

He was interrupted by Goodwitch, who snapped at him. "Do get on with it!"

Crue gulped, pulling gently at his tie. "I have decided, that I shall stay." He told them. Ozpin smiled lightly, whereas Goodwitch let out a heavy sigh.

"I am very glad to hear that. If you shall give me a moment, I shall show you to the room you'll be staying in. Before I do, I must have a word with Professor Goodwitch about your curriculum." Ozpin told him. Crue gave a phony salute and returned to the elevator, descending Beacon tower.

"Curriculum? Really? Your excuses are becoming stale." Glynda mocked her employer.

Ozpin chuckled lightly. "That may be so, but I still required him out of the room." He said, standing out of his chair and turning to gaze out at Beacon.

"Ozpin, what on Remnant could this child possibly have that would possess you to let him stay." Glynda asked.

Ozpin said nothing for a moment, staring off into the distance, his mind elsewhere. "I think it is time, I brush up on my fairy tales. Specifically, those from Hibernia."

…

Crue waited in the lobby of Beacon tower, whistling a tune. "Red like Roses fills my head with dreams and fin-" His humming was cut off by a strange thought.

"Are you going to give me theme music?" He asked. "Cause if you are, I want to be able to hear it. Music always makes fighting better, that's why boss battles always have awesome compositions."

A short while later, Ozpin exited the elevator, nodding to Crue to follow him. As they walked, Ozpin handed Crue his weapon, pulling it out from seemingly nowhere. "I believe, you would be wanting this back." Crue nodded his head rapidly, gripping his metal hurl tightly.

Crue followed after his new headmaster, wondering where he was leading him. "I would say that you would require a uniform, but the dress code here is not upheld that strictly, plus your current attire is very similar to that of the uniform. Minus one thing of course." Ozpin whispered the last bit, but Crue's advanced hearing picked it up.

"The fuck does he mean by that?" Crue thought, looking down at his attire. "Is it the pocket watch? Nah. The shoes? I don't fucking know." He ignored the comment carried on, walking beside Ozpin. The two walked down a corridor, Crue just staring at the walls, only now realising just how surreal it was to be within a show he had watched.

"Before we get to your new dorm, I feel an introduction is in order." Ozpin said, stopping in front of a door. Crue came to a halt, staring at the door. It looked no different from any other door they had passed, and yet, it seemed oddly familiar. Ozpin put his own scroll near the locking mechanism of the door. It buzzed and Ozpin opened the door.

Crue realised the reason why this door in particular felt familiar. Because behind that door was none other than team RWBY. The girls were all lounging around, but once they heard their door open, and saw their headmaster they sprung to attention.

"Professor!" Weiss cried. "Um, to what do we owe the pleasure?" She tried to be formal.

"Well, there is someone I would like you all to meet." Ozpin told them, stepping to the side, allowing them to see Crue.

"Hey guys." Crue waved awkwardly.

"But, sir, we already know Crue." Blake told him. Ozpin's eyes seemed to glimmer slightly.

"Oh is that so? Well then, that makes this much easier." Ozpin smiled. The smile didn't reassure Crue however, who had several things, mostly curses, running through his mind.

"Makes what easier?" Ruby asked hesitantly.

"Well, Mr. Cullen has decided to join our curriculum." He told them. They all held looks of happiness. "And, that means he needs a place to sleep. So, we have decided that this dorm would do just fine."

"WHAT!?" Every voice that didn't belong to the headmaster shouted. "WHAT IS THIS MOTHERFUCKING HAREM ANIME PROTAGONIST BULLSHIT!?" Crue roared within his mind. "GETTING STUCK WITH THE MAIN CAST, WHO ALL JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE FEMALE!"

"Well you see," Ozpin began. "We took serious consideration into having him stay with team JNPR. However, Ms. Valkyrie still resents Mr. Cullen for injuring her partner." Crue felt his blood boil lightly.

"I hate the fact you came up with a good fucking reason!" He complained within his mind. "And so, we decided that team RWBY, as the only team in their first year without a male member, should host him."

"I see you're going for the Troll!Ozpin interpretation of him, asshole." Crue thought, glaring at the ceiling. "Now, I'm sure you all have plenty to discuss." Ozpin said, backing out of the room quickly. Before anyone could stop him or ask questions, the door slammed closed, leaving Crue alone with the four girls.

Crue slowly turned around to face them. Each of them held a different expression. Yang's face was filled with glee at the prospect of having someone knew to prank or tell terrible puns to. Blake tried to look indifferent, but was happy knowing another Faunus was in such close proximity. Weiss wore a look of utter disgust, but Crue hoped that was just because of the fact he was male, and not his newly acquired heritage.

Ruby… Crue couldn't quite place the look Ruby was wearing. It looked like a mixture of delight and apprehension. "So…" Crue began, unsure of how to break the tension. "Nice weather we're having." He tried. The others all gave him blank looks, causing him to smack his forehead.

"Yeah yeah that was dumb. I'm just letting you know now, I had no idea where he was taking me." Crue defended.

"Well, we already kind of know you, so it's not that bad." Ruby tried to comfort him.

Weiss looked like she was about to unleash hell upon Crue for daring to both be a male and be in the same dorm as them. "Before you say anything I have one question." He held up a single finger. Weiss put her tongue lashing on hold for the moment.

"What is it?" She asked hesitantly.

"Do you have a bathtub?" Crue asked. The question seemed so random and out of the blue, that they could not form a verbal response, instead just nodding slowly. "Then that's where I'll be sleeping."

This took them by surprise. "You're fine with sleeping in a bathtub?" Blake asked, accusation evident in her voice.

"Not really." Crue shrugged. "But I doubt any of you are gonna want to bunk with me." At that, Ruby began to tentatively raise her hand.

"RUBY!" Yang yelled, shocked at her sisters actions.

"I'm sorry!" Ruby responded, embarrassed. "I-I don't mean to be mean but, you're part dog, and you kinda remind me of Zwei. I'm sorry Blake!" She apologised to her feline friend, out of fear she was being racist. Crue couldn't help but laugh at the reasoning.

"Ruby," He began softly. "It's a fine reason," he then noticed Yang's threatening glare. "Buuut. I still think I'd be better on the ground."

Blake still eyed him suspiciously. He sighed, figuring she thought he was used to getting second hand treatment because he was a Faunus. "Look, it's between the tub, or the floor." They all showed looks of confusion. "Like on the floor, under a bed." He explained.

They all made 'oh' faces, and turned to one another in silent debate. "I think," Weiss began. "Under a bed would be better. If you sleep in a bathtub, one of us might forget you're there during a morning shower."

Crue's face made an odd shape. "Wow. I actually hadn't thought about that. Huh." He scratched his chin. "Alright, looks like I'm under a bed."

He noticed Weiss' look of disdain. "Look, Weiss." He said, getting her attention. "I'm not going to do anything weird. Alright? I can see the look on your face." Weiss blushed immediately having been caught out.

"It's not you personally." Weiss told him. "It's, boys in general. They all seem to be after my second name." She looked downwards, distraught.

"I didn't even know what your name was until yesterday." Crue told her. "Wow that is the biggest fucking lie to ever come out of my mouth. Oh. Wait. They think I have amnesia." Weiss looked up at Crue, her eyes shining slightly. "I mean, even if I did, I wouldn't be trying to date you. Or, any of you for that matter." He looked to the rest of the girls. "No offense."

"None taken." Yang shrugged. Blake and Ruby showed similar signs of disinterest. "So, you wanna put your stuff away?"

Crue laughed. "Stuff implies I have things. I can count what I have on one hand. Minus the clothes." He began to empty out his pockets.

"All I have is my scroll, my wallet… Oh, I have a box of matches too. That's weird." He placed the three objects onto a table. "And my weapon." He held up his hurl with one hand. Ruby squealed and darted over to him, rose petals in her wake.

"What is it? How is it in battle? Does it shoot? Can it transform?" Ruby launched questions at him like a machine good. Crue couldn't help but laugh at her eagerness, recalling what a weaponsnut she was from RWBY itself.

"Right now it's a hurl. Or hurley" He told her, showing her the flat part of his weapon. He pushed the changing button near the handle. "It collapses into a sword." Ruby nodded, her silver eyes roaming over the weapon. Crue turned it back into a hurl and flipped it round, aiming the barrel at Ruby. "Bullets come from there. It's a single shot rifle. If you hold the trigger down however…" Crue trailed off, following his own instructions.

Everyone else took a step back from him. Then, everyone watched in wonder as a ball of dust began to form. When the ball was almost complete, Crue reached out to catch it. It landed in his hand, causing a searing pain that even his aura couldn't protect. "SON OF A-" His eyes fell on Ruby. "BISCUIT!" He held out his hurl, the dust ball landing on it.

"Right. Forgot that hurt." Crue muttered, blowing on his hand while lightly bouncing the ball up and down. Ruby watched the ball of dust go up and down.

"You can form dust into a physical thing? Weiss, can you do that?" She turned to find her partner rooting around in one of her drawers. Eventually she found what she was looking for, taking out a pure white glove.

She marched over to Crue, holding out the glove. "This is a dust proof glove we use in Dust Preparation Class. It should allow you to hold your, dust ball." The name apparently didn't sit well with Weiss.

With great difficulty, Crue managed to get the glove on one handed. He caught the ball of dust with his now gloved hand, marvelling at the difference. "Wow. It does work." He tossed the ball up and down in his own hand.

"What do you use the ball for?" Ruby asked immediately.

"I hit it. And it's called a sliotar" Crue responded bluntly. "I'd show you how far I can hit it, but we're kinda indoors so-" Crue was cut off by Ruby grabbing the collar of his shirt and dragging him out the door, rose petals trailing behind them.

…

"Where are we?" Crue asked, staring out over a vast drop.

"Oh, we're by the drop off zone." Ruby told him, smiling widely. "I figured this would be the best place for you to hit it and not, you know, hit anything." Crue smiled and decided to humour the red reaper.

"Alright." He agreed, causing Ruby to jump up and down in joy. He gave his hurl a few practice swings, before tossing the ball he had created back in the dorm up into the air. He brought his hurl back, and, 'ping'. The ball went soaring towards Vale, landing in the water with a large splash.

"Wow." Ruby said, astonished. She held starry eyes and looked strangely cartoony. Crue had to blink a few times to make sure they weren't playing tricks on him. When he was certain he had only imagined Ruby looking 2-D, he made another ball and hit it once more.

"That was really far!" Ruby cried. "I want to see if I can hit it!" She reached around her back and took out Crescent Rose, swinging it rapidly before planting it into the ground. Crue's jaw dropped at seeing what used to be a cartoon weapon, up close and looking terrifyingly real.

"Well. What are you waiting for?" Ruby asked. Crue closed his mouth to keep from catching flies and formed another ball.

"You ready?" He asked. Ruby nodded, peering into her sights. Crue smacked the ball skywards. Shortly afterward, Ruby had fired her sniper rifle, and hit the ball mid-air. "Nice shot!" Crue complimented, genuinely impressed at the skill.

"Oh, pshaww." Ruby blushed. "I just know how it works is all. I did make it after all."

"You made that?" Crue said, astonished. "Oh wait. She said that in the show. It's just so fucking weird seeing it in real life. Or, fake, real, life. I don't know I'm tired."

Ruby nodded proudly. "Yup. This is my sweet baby, Crescent Rose." She hugged her weapon, now in its collapsed form. "Does yours have a name?"

"Huh?" Crue asked.

"Your weapon. Does it have a name?" Ruby repeated. Crue stared down at his weapon, now in hurl form. He gripped it tightly, knowing exactly what name it should be.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I call it, Setanta." He raised the hurl up high. "Ok. This is the only time I'll forgive you for the whole Cúchulainn thing." He said in his mind.

"Cool." Ruby said simply. For the next hour or so, they continued on practicing and making small talk, Ruby informing Crue about things he 'didn't know'.

"So let me get this straight." Crue said, hitting another dust ball. "Jaune saved Cardin, but he's still being a jerk."

"Yup. A Macheeta can't change its spots." Ruby responded, shooting the ball out of the sky.

"A what?" Crue asked.

"A Macheeta. It's a type of Grimm that lives mainly in Vacuo. It can go suuuper fast." She told him. "And its bone plate thingies are all in little dots on its fur."

"So, making your own Grimm already huh?" "Sound's dangerous." Crue figured.

"Well yeah. So are all Grimm." Ruby contradicted his point.

"Oh yeah. Good point." With that, he prepared to hit another ball.

"Hey Crue." Ruby began. "Hm?" "How come you didn't want to sleep with me?" Crue missed his mark, his hurl making a wide arc over the ball.

Crue turned to Ruby to stare her right in the eye. Ruby stared back, unsure of what she said. "Ah. The innocence of youth." Crue realised. "Ruby, it's not that I didn't want to sleep," Out of the corner of his eye, Crue noticed a bunch of blonde hair shake angrily behind a set of conveniently placed bushes. "next to you. It's just I think I would take up too much room." He lied.

He watched as the hair's anger began to die down. He leaned in to whisper to Ruby. "Besides, I don't think Yang would let me." Ruby didn't understand why, so she just shrugged and got ready to fire again.

They took two more shots, before Crue figured they should head back. Ruby agreed, having got enough info out of Crue about his weapon. As they walked back, they conveniently ran into the rest of team RWBY.

As they made their way back to the dorm, Yang had a question. "Hey, Crue?" She began, causing the boy to look at him. "How come you're cool with Blake?" Crue must have showed a look of confusion on his face, because Yang carried on with her question. "Well, it's just you're a dog Faunus, and she's a cat Faunus. I didn't think you'd get along with her."

Blake and Crue shared a glance. "I'm pretty sure you're being racist right now." Crue told her. Blake nodded in agreement. Yang got a light blush. "But, I'm not actually a dog Faunus." He told her, and to an extent the rest of team RWBY. "I'm a wolf Faunus."

The rest of the team nodded in understanding, but Ruby still had a query. "So does that mean you wouldn't like it if I did this?" She began scratching behind Crue's wolf ear. Crue's left foot began tapping up and down rapidly, and a low, soft whimpering sound escaped from his throat.

Crue instantly slapped both his hands up to his mouth, his cheeks a bright shade of red. "I didn't know I could do that." He said, mumbled by his hands. Ruby looked as embarrassed as Crue felt.

"Sorry. I didn't actually know what would happen. Blake wouldn't let me try it on her." She apologised.

"That's because a Faunus' animal parts are extremely sensitive." Blake told them as if this was common knowledge.

"But that means," Yang smiled evilly. "That if we pet you kitty cat, you'd purr." She took a step closer to Blake, who blushed and increased her pace.

"You have no proof of that." She argued, trying to get away from Yang.

"No. But I'll get some." She started chasing her partner down the hall, shouting cat related puns along the way.

"If that's the Bumblby thing I asked for earlier, thanks." Crue thought watching them sprint away.

"Honestly. You'd think they'd learn to behave themselves." Weiss complained.

"Live and let live." Crue shrugged. Weiss glanced up at him, unsure as to what he meant. "You live your own life, and let others live theirs." He then frowned. "Why do I know what that means?"

"This amnesia thing is actually pretty hard to pull off. I just have to pretend like I didn't know what I said." Crue thought to himself.

They eventually got back to the dorm room, finding Yang tied up in a corner and Blake in a huff, reading on her bed. Ruby sighed and went to untie Yang. While that was happening, Crue stared at the book in Blake's hand.

"So, is it actually porn?" He asked himself.

"Um, Crue." Crue turned to see who was calling. He saw Weiss, looking at him, a slight frown on her features. "We're going to get changed into our bed clothes." She said slowly. Crue needed no more information, walking straight out of the room.

"I told you. No harems." He repeated in his mind. Using his Faunus hearing, he picked up a conversation from behind the door.

"Huh. Guess he really doesn't want to date any of us." Yang said.

"I'm just glad that he's acting like a proper gentleman." Weiss agreed.

Crue shuddered at that. He was no gentleman. He just wasn't an asshole.

A short while later, the girls told them he could come in. He entered and stared at the two bunk beds, trying to decide which to sleep under. Eventually, he just settled for 'eenie meeny minie mo' and ended up under Weiss and Ruby's beds.

He didn't have any bed clothes, so he just took off his shoes and socks and everything on his torso. Yang let out a wolf whistle when he took off his undershirt. Crue blushed and scuttled under the bed, calling out goodnight to everyone.

Once under the bed, Crue had a rather strange thought.

"Wait. Why the fuck did I say I'd sleep under a bed?"

Ok, this one was a bit shorter than usual. But hey, we've got some funny moments with Crue. The under the bed thing will probably come into play later. And just so you know, next chapter will be extra long to make up for this :) Hope you enjoy it.

-Friday