Maura watched as Jane cut through the police tape on the door to the house and then opened it. She paused at the threshold a moment and Maura wondered if she was going to go in or not.
They were a little later getting there than they had originally planned but the lab work had come back on the hair sample, and it turned out to be Penny's. They now had actual proof that Penny had been in that house.
Jane looked back at her – perhaps to ensure that she was still with her.
Maura gave her what she hoped was an encouraging look and Jane turned back and walked inside with Maura right behind her. Once in, Jane didn't hesitate as she went down into the basement.
She stood there in the middle of the basement looking around as if she was searching for something. Then without comment, she took a seat in the middle of the floor. Maura stepped down to the bottom of the stairs and took a seat on the third step up.
She didn't say a word as she watched Jane, who continued to sit there for several minutes and then laid down on her back. She's trying to recreate what it was like for her, Maura thought. Thinking about Jane being held captive here – being close yet so far away from the people who care about her was not something Maura wanted to think about.
Yet she needed to if she was going to help Jane.
Something Stipling had told her upon their first meeting had been on her mind a lot lately. He said that her and Sam were similar, and he was right there were similarities. Now, she was trying to draw on those similarities to think like Sam – trying to figure out what her next move would be.
But as hard as she tried, she couldn't leap into the mindset.
She loved Jane, but she couldn't conceive of loving her as Samantha claimed to love her.
"Why send you to the prison?" Maura asked.
"Huh?" Jane asked, sitting up.
"She sent you to the prison to talk to her sister, but why?"
"I don't know," Jane shrugged. "Just to mess with me, to see if I would go or to contact Sara after the fact to find out what I was like. Who knows? Why are you asking?"
"I keep thinking how everything Samantha has done, she did for a reason. She plans everything out," Maura said. "So why would this be any different? Why send you there if there was no reason behind it?"
"I think maybe you are putting a little too much meaning into it," Jane said. "We know from Sara already that it wouldn't be the first time that Sam had her contacting me just to be able to hear about me."
"Yes, but in this case, by sending you to see Sara, you learned about the commissary fund being replenished, which led you to the LLC. We then found out that the LLC purchased this house. Coming to the house the first time led you to finally start remembering."
"Yes, but there was no way for Sam to know I would get a memory back coming there."
"No, but it still led us here and I can't help but wonder why," Maura said.
Jane seemed to consider this for a moment. "I mean there was no way for her to know this would spark a memory for me and the only thing we got from the house that means anything is the hair we now know is Penny's."
"Has Crowe found out any more about the LLC?"
"No. He is still jumping through hoops to find out where it was registered exactly and when. It's not like we expect to see Samantha's name on it or anything, but we got to follow it as far as we can."
They lapsed back into silence and Jane laid down again.
Jane sat up again. "You're right," she said. "Why let us know about the LLC at all?"
"I don't know, but she must have had a reason."
Jane crossed her legs in front of her as she thought about it. There was no reason to lead them to this house – it was proof of Jane being here. It was a link to Sam that to this point she had been able to avoid.
As far as Jane knew Sam had never even been in the house while Jane was held there. She had been in New York and coming here would have been a risk that Sam would not have taken. So why risk them even learning about the house?
"The house doesn't lead us to Sam," Jane said.
"What do you mean?"
"Damn she is good."
"Jane, what are you thinking?"
"This house. It was Sam's, but she sold it to an LLC. The LLC owned it when I was here. Sam's alibi for 'my death' was solid remember. She made sure of it," Jane said. "But what if she knew that there was a slight chance she would get caught? Then she would have to have some sort of plan, right? The only proof we have that she was involved was because you found me in Seattle. That's it. The only other links we have are to Penny."
"What are you saying, that Sam set this up for Penny to take the fall?"
"I think that it is possible yes," Jane said. "That poor girl. Sam used her in every possible way. And all because of me."
"Jane, we've been through this. What happened to Penny is not your fault."
"I know," Jane said. "I just don't want her memory to be corrupted by what Sam has done."
"It won't be," Maura said. "We won't let it be."
Jane laid back down on the floor and turned her head so she was looking at where Maura's name had been scratched into the wood. She shifted her body closer and reached out and let her finger trace each letter. She tried to picture herself being here, scratching those letters into the wood one by one. Leaving this one word behind, not knowing what would become of her, not knowing if Maura would ever know that even after all that had happened – she was still the only one Jane wanted.
Despite the kidnapping, the drugging, all that Sam had done to try to make Jane hers, she never would have been. Her heart and soul belonged to Maura.
She sat back up.
"Have I told you how lucky I am to have you in my life?" Jane smiled.
Maura smiled back at her. "You know I don't believe in luck," she said. "But in this case, I'm willing to make an exception."
"Even here, I wanted to leave something behind," Jane said, pointing at Maura's name. "I must have wanted someone to know that you were who I was thinking of."
Jane got to her feet. "Let's get out of here," she said. "There is nothing here for me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," Jane said. "I don't think I'm going to find any more answers here."
…
Jane sat at her desk staring at her computer, trying her best but failing at finishing typing up a report. Her mind kept wandering in a dozen different directions.
But it kept coming back to Dale Stone.
It didn't sit right with her that the FBI had claimed jurisdiction. She knew they had the right to, but it didn't mean she was happy about it. She also knew that his daughter Tracy was probably going to get little to no cooperation from the FBI in terms of any updates.
She stood by her comment to Frost – the FBI cared about their investigation, not Dale's death.
It wasn't the first time that she had to deal with the federal agencies in terms of interference but this one felt different, and she couldn't pinpoint why. Maybe it was because of her own case and the lack of answers she had that made her feel more empathy for Tracy.
She had always tried to empathize with the families of the victims in cases and tried to give updates to cases when she could so they wouldn't be left in the dark. Not every detective was like that. She had worked with some who believed every facet of a case needed to be a secret until the trial.
That was not something she could ever do.
Yes, some things needed to be held back from victims' families, but sometimes all it took was being there for the families so you could hear them talk about their loved ones. That brought them more comfort than facts.
But Tracy wouldn't get that kind of treatment from the FBI.
Every detective had unsolved cases and she was no different. Those cases were the ones that stuck with you more than the ones that were resolved. When she first started as a detective and was paired with Korsak, one of the things he told her about were the copies of the files he kept at home – files of unsolved homicides.
At the time, she hadn't thought that was anything she would ever do. Yes, she expected to be involved in unsolved homicides, but she couldn't see herself keeping a collection of files like that. To be constantly reminded of failure wasn't something she wanted to be a part of.
But then she ran into her first unsolved case.
It was a 33-year-old waitress named Susan, who was killed one night outside of the restaurant where she worked.
She worked and worked that case, but they hadn't found her killer.
Her copy of the file was there in her desk drawer along with other unsolved cases. She still met with the victim's sister at least once a year and while there was never much to say at this point, she still showed up to talk to her. She wanted the sister to know that while the case may have gone cold, she wasn't giving up on the idea that one day she would be able to make an arrest.
She remembered the year before her disappearance, the sister had asked her if she thought that was a possibility.
Yes, Jane had answered. The murder weapon – a 32 caliber – had never been recovered. Sometimes all it takes is a weapon being used in another crime for dominos to start to fall in the direction they needed.
And that was the best bet in that case Jane believed because while most homicides were done by someone familiar with the victim, Jane had vetted everyone in the woman's life and came up with no real likely suspects. Susan had been shot just outside the back door of the business. The door was unlocked and if it was a robbery – well others believed if it had been, the thief could have gone in and cleared out the cash registers as Susan was closing that night.
Jane understood the thinking behind that but she also knew that Susan could easily have surprised someone by going out that door and perhaps that person had intended to rob the place but hadn't expected Susan to be there like that and had killed her and in a panic decided not to rob the place.
So many things could have happened in the short amount of time between the last person seeing Susan alive and her eventual death. It was a time frame of 26 minutes but those 26 minutes haunted Jane because she didn't have the answer. But she wouldn't let Susan's case file just be chucked into a box somewhere in the station. No, like Korsak, she kept such cases close and revisited them when she had time.
She didn't want Dale Stone to be one of those cases.
It didn't seem like she was going to have a choice. It was possible the FBI wrapped up its investigation and find the killer, but it was also possible they wrap up their investigation and turn Dale's case back to the Boston PD. By that time, too much time could pass for them to bring the killer to justice.
Cases turned on small things but one of the things that tended to play against investigators was time.
…
Jane came down to the morgue to see Maura, wanting to speak to her before she had to leave for an appointment with Dr. Peters.
The door to her office was closed and she could see that Dr. Pike was in there with her.
She walked over to Susie who was putting away some instruments.
"What is Pike doing down here?"
"Oh, he is here to pick up the materials for the annual medical examiners meeting next week."
"That's next week?"
"Yes. Can't say I'm sorry to see that he will be representing the Commonwealth as it means I won't have to put up for him for the week like I normally do when Maura goes."
"Why isn't Maura going?" Jane asked.
Susie looked at Jane but didn't say anything.
"Susie, why isn't Maura going?"
"I um … I don't think she felt comfortable going away like that."
Jane glanced over at the office door which remained closed. She could guess why Maura wasn't going, and as much as her instinct was to barge in there and ask her what was going on, she didn't.
"Will you tell her I stopped by?"
"Sure," Susie said, seeming relieved that Jane wasn't going to press her further.
Jane thanked her and then left the morgue, knowing she would have to bring this up with Maura later.
….
Jane unlocked the door and activated the security system.
"Maur," she called out. "Please tell me we are having something with red meat in it tonight for dinner?"
She walked into the kitchen where Maura was – having beaten her home by more than 90 minutes.
"No such luck," Maura said. "Chicken and rice casserole. It went poorly with the FBI I assume."
"Yeah," Jane said. "They denied my request for a case update."
"You did expect this."
"I know," she replied. "Doesn't make it suck any less, however."
"And red meat would help it not suck less?"
"Probably not, but you never know."
"How did your other appointment go?"
It was the reason she was late. She had started a new regiment in her memory retrieval therapy – a group session. The group comprised of her and four veterans who were all on similar tracks with their progression.
"Ok, I guess," Jane said. "I didn't share much of anything. But those veterans have been through some serious sh … trauma. I felt like I shouldn't be in there with them."
"You shouldn't downplay what you went through."
"I'm not. I'm just saying their trauma – they were serving our country. I have an ex-girlfriend with boundary issues."
"Did someone say something to you that made you feel like this?"
"No, no. They were all very nice and understanding," Jane said. "The doc, he explained to them who I was and why I was there. They brought in another veteran – one who is further along in the program to talk to us. He talked about how his first memory came back pretty quickly but it was just a snippet. Then nothing. For months, despite going through the VR process, he just couldn't remember anything else. He got frustrated and almost quit. But he kept with it and eventually more memories came back so that he knew exactly what happened. And that is when things got worse. Now that he knew how he was injured, how the other troops with him were killed, he said he just spiraled. Things got better of course or he wouldn't have been there speaking with us. But he credited it to the group therapy and having others to talk to – others who could understand."
"It sounds like he has been through a lot," Maura said. "How did hearing that make you feel?"
"I mean I wasn't thrilled about the whole downward spiral part," Jane shrugged. "But the rest of it. He believes in the program. And he said once you think you are done with the program, that you have gotten everything out of it that you can, that is when you give back to the program. I guess, I felt hopeful."
"Hopeful is good."
"Yeah. I spoke to him a little bit afterward. Asked him how he dealt with the whole not remembering things for months on end thing. He said that he lost patience, lost faith, and lost interest in the program, but he stopped putting so much pressure on himself and he went back to square one with the therapy. He started all over again with the mindset that he may never remember and that it was ok if he never did. That life continues whether or not you remember the good or the bad in your life. He said that he didn't know if that was the key for him to remember more or not, but he likes to think it was."
"Is that what you are going to do, start back at square one?"
"No," Jane said. "I don't have the patience for that. But I'm going to keep going to my sessions and group."
"I think that is a good idea," Maura said.
"Do you think it's a good idea to be sending Dr. Pike to represent your office at your big convention thingy that you go to every year?"
"How did you … Susie? She told me you stopped by this afternoon."
"Well, I was wondering what Pike was doing there and she said it before she thought anything of it. Still doesn't explain why you aren't going."
"You know why."
"I know," Jane said. "It's not like I don't understand your reasoning, but I hate that you are doing this. We can't let her control our lives like this. I think you are the one who had pointed that out to me not that long ago."
"It's not just about her. I mean it is, but it's also …"
"What? What is it?" Jane said coming around the counter to get closer to her.
"I'm not ready," Maura said. "to leave you alone like that yet. It's silly, I know and it makes zero logical sense, but she got to you before when I was away and I'm not ready to leave like that again, leave you alone."
Jane brought her in for a hug. "It's ok," she said stroking her hair. "You don't have to go or do anything you aren't comfortable with. But Maur, I'm never really alone. I always have you. It's like I said back in the house where I carved your name, I'm always thinking of you."