As I Descend
Chapter Ten: New Life
"Contrary to Chrollo's belief, I was not cast out from heaven—thrown from paradise. I like to think I fell much like a star: bright, burning, furious…and with no regrets. I can't see why I would have any when all I've ever wanted was to join him in his darkness."
What Azyel found in the manor was pain. Two bodies broken. Another body shattered into impossible shards of ash. Fury.
Azyel's screams ripped through her throat like a monster breaking loose from a cage. The windows shattered around her as she half registered Phinks killing some man. Chrollo kills another and dodges strikes from some cloak. Her eyes blur so she can barely make out her own mother's face, her hair tangled and wet and red—
Everything is black. Everything that happened between those moments of darkness are a mystery to her. Even as she grew older, Pakunoda would not help her remember.
The last thing she remembered was Phinks snatching off his tattered shirt to throw it over her head.
He's talking, low, half angry. She only stares. He picks her up, arm hooked around her waist and carries her like she's luggage. They move, jumping and darting through trees. Bullets whiz by her head. Chrollo picks up his phone.
A mammoth man rams from the trees and tears into the pursuers with ease. Their steps do not slow.
They run for minutes, perhaps hours.
Chrollo commandeers a vehicle, shoving his arm through the wide open window to jab a knife through the owners ear. The woman falls to the grass splintered asphalt and Chrollo takes her seat. Azyel is pulled into the back next to Phinks. Phinks says something, mouth moving, arms gesturing. Chrollo is a furious cold, droplets of blood stain his moonlight skin. He responds to Phinks, his words clipped. Azyel can tell simply by the sharp movements of his mouth. She knows him well enough to know when he is angry. Azyel hears only a whine that is high pitched and buzzing. She cannot make out their words, even as Phinks pulls the destroyed shirt away from her head.
The mammoth man is roaring with a wild laugh that pierces the silence, shatters it like glass. He turns around in his seat, a mouth full of white teeth that gleam as she sun rises behind his head, throwing his tan skin in rays of orange and yellow. "So you're the princess, huh? My name's Uvogin. We'll be seeing a lot of each other from now on."
For a moment, she took in his broad shoulders, the way he seemed to take up far too much space. His head brushing the roof of the car. He was a wild man, born and raised out of the woods, taken into the new world and bringing the old with him wherever he went.
A large hand reached over and patted her head, "What's that face for?"
"Face?" she asked, her voice sounded too far away to be her own. She glances up into the mirror. Her face is stained with tears, debris and dirt. Her lips are pulled down from sheer exhaustion. She doesn't have the strength to move them even if she wanted. Her eyes though. Her eyes are bright. They're alive, burdened with clear purpose. "I see."
She never answered. He patted her head again, and turned to talk to Chrollo. While he did, while street lamps rushed past them, and the scenery changed as quickly as someone flipping the pages of a book, she reached forward and buried her fingers into the pelt around his shoulders. She assumed it was bear, for he was a bear of a man. She couldn't be sure. She was not a fan of furs. Still, she gained something tangible in holding onto this. She gained an anchor. For the moment, that was all she needed.
Later she would recall the conversation between Uvo and Chrollo. The shouts she aimed at him as they fought for their lives to escape the burning manor. She would recall in detail how that raven's feather, she now held clutched in her hand had gotten there. Now, she could do no more than sit. No more than wait.
She was silent for seven days exactly. She bathed. She slept. She walked. She ran. She did what she was told without even a scowl in Chrollo's direction.
Phinks and Uvo would talk near her, discuss her. "She's not saying anything."
"She might be in shock or sitting next to you for all those hours put her into shock." Uvo commented.
"Tch. I doubt it. She's just a kid, afterall."
A kid? Hardly. she'd never been a kid for as long as she could remember. She would never be one now.
In three more days, they were at some lodge in the mountains. People gathered around them, greeting the others with waves and small smiles. Everyone seemed most excited to see Chrollo boring as he was—
Chrollo caught her gaze, smirked.
"Don't make that expression." She said to him, her voice sounded scratchy and old, like a smoker's. "You can't read my mind, so don't pretend to."
"She speaks!" Uvo roared, bounding back to her to lift her up in the air like a little doll. "We were worried about ya kid."
"What was all the silence for?" Phinks asks.
Azyel wants to say that she's still grieving, that it was normal. She also wanted to say something else. She did neither. "I can't say."
Pakunoda kneeled in front of her, reaching out a hand.
Azyel stared at it a moment, her eyes were gentle. Her mother had taught her that women couldn't be gentle, only men. Women didn't have that luxury. Staring at Pakunoda who sat in silence, her hand outstretched for so long, Azyel couldn't speak of the time, she questioned her mother's belief. If only for a moment. She took the woman's hand.
"What are you not saying?" she asked.
After a moment, Pakunoda squeezed the hand and stood to her feet.
Azyel climbed ontop of Uvo's shoulders and listened to him bark and laugh, teasing Nobunaga. Azyel felt a hot glare, burn into her back. Feitan watched her from the shadows.
A conversation begins as they discuss their new—what? Masocot? Captive?
Feitan grumbles the loudest. Others are concerned about why a child is hanging around. Feitan wants to sell her off as soon as possible.
Azyel scowls at that. That…cannot be allowed to happen.
"I want to stay with you." She says finally. Everyone falls silent. Sitting on Uvogin's shoulders, above all of them, her voice rings out clear and focused. "I want my revenge. I want my lives. I want nothing more, nothing less than that. I assume by your resumes that you're relatively good at killing. That's what I need. In return, I'll give you what you came for. Whatever use you had envisioned for me. And I'll do it gladly."
All that happened, clung to her like smoke. It scorched her through to the bone. Instead of flipping through those memories, she'd broken them down into facts.
The Wintermute Family has never been my friends.
The Wintermute Family runs the Raven Gang
The Wintermute Family orchestrated the murder of the Uriel Family.
The Wintermute Family must be eliminated.
The Wintermute Family must be slaughtered.
The Wintermute Family must be destroyed.
I will have no peace until this occurs.
She'd wanted an even ten, but seven seemed too perfect a number to pass.
Chrollo walked forward, looked up at her with that strange gleam in his eyes made brighter by the burn of the fireplace crackling with logs. They held each other's gazes.
Softly, after the room had been silent for more than what was natural, he agreed. "So be it." He said, his voice combing through her senses. "Stay."
A month had passed since Azyel began travelling with the Phantom Troupe. Although clearly she had favored Uvogin upon meeting him, Chrollo insisted that she be with him, Pakunoda and Shalnark.
This day they found themselves sequestered within the rich gardens of a world renown restaurant called La Sirene. The sun spilled over their hair, giving each of their heads radiant halos.
Chrollo sat back in his chair to her left, head ducked into his book. Pakunoda wore a plum, form fitting dress with a plunging neckline. Her hair had grown out past her shoulders since Azyel last saw her. Azyel liked her voice, it was calm and soothing. Whenever Azyel glanced up at her, she offered her a smile.
To Azyel's right, Shalnark grinned down at his handheld video game.
Bing-Bing-Binging, every time he had a new high score.
Azyel wore a cherry blossom stitched, halter dress that kissed her knees in the front and brushed the pavement in the back. Her white sandals clicked where she walked and her pearl earrings danced prettily when the wind blew. Despite her change in guardianship, Azyel still dressed as she liked. It was a small consolation.
"What are we waiting for again?" Azyel asked Chrollo as her eyes surveyed the other tables nearby. There were only six total and most of them were a hundred feet away to give each party a sort of privacy.
Chrollo's eyes did not move up from his page until he had finished it. When he had, pleasantly he responded, "We're waiting for a client."
"Is he the late kind?" Azyel said, finding a table diagonal from theirs. Four people sat at that white clothed table. Waiters in crisp uniforms, darted around serving plates with bowed heads, assuring minimal eye contact. "Or the imaginary?"
The corner of Chrollo's mouth quirked up, "You don't believe he exists, Azyel?"
"I believe you like to lie to me." She spoke. Pakunoda blinked, eyes darting over to gage Chrollo's expression. He wouldn't be angry. Not publicly. Chrollo liked control in all things. "It's what you do."
A moment passed where no one said a word. Shalnark ceased playing.
"I didn't know you blamed me." Chrollo said gently. His reference was clear. There were no illusions between them, not anymore. Those shattered on that day.
"I blame you for everything." She said, now smiling deviously, "you know that."
Despite her words, his smile increased. "How very unfortunate. Pakunoda?"
With that, he and Pakunoda dove into some discussion, Azyel cared not to hear. Shalnark resumed his game.
I miss Uvo…Phinks too. Azyel recalled the days when the mere sight of Chrollo would make her lips split into a smile or frown from her anger at being too happy to see him. Now? There was nothing.
Her first night with him, she thought she'd cry herself to sleep, but Uvo's hulking form stood over her. he gathered her in her too big arms and promised, promised that whoever did this would pay. He swore he'd bite their heads off and chew until they were naught but a mangle mess of sinew and red. She shuffled her face into the fur of his ensemble, feeling young for the first time in years.
"Shit." Phinks scratched his head as he watched. "What now, boss?"
Chrollo's expression was hidden from her as he spoke. "Nothing changes."
Uvo's great arm constricted around her, but she didn't understand what he meant then. Now, a month later, she still didn't. Nor did she care. Her plans didn't really need to change either, there would only be additions. For example, the complete and absolute annihilation of the Raven gang, who's calling card were a spray of feathers along the lawn. Then, the death of the Wintermute Family head, Helia's father, who had concocted the scheme to destroy her family and place the blame elsewhere. The Phantom Troupe would have been the fall guy. And the world, judging by the news cycle the following days, believed it. Afterall, the world was not there. they didn't see.
She half believed it was a dream herself, the memory of the night coming back in broken pieces. After three days of waiting, she demanded Chrollo train her.
"I am not a suitable teacher." He replied.
"I am not asking." She said, gaining a hiss from Phinks. Pakunoda liked to keep herself free from her tantrums, excusing her self even before they started.
"Watch it kid, it's like you don't know who you're talking to."
"Train me." She said again, getting up from her favorite spot of the corner of their hotel. "I'll have my bath. Afterward, I expect an answer."
The following minutes, Phinks had banged on the bathroom door, demanding she apologize. "Do you want me to come in there?"
"And see me naked?" She asked, "Honestly Phinks, I didn't peg you as the type."
Phinks growled in frustration, giving one final bang before marching off. "Yeah, well. I'll see you when you get out!"
"That sounds better."
"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"
Still, once she had come out in a towel, he'd retrieved her bag full of clothes. She pinched his arm, smiling, "Thanks."
He blushed, looking to the left.
"Come on." Phinks said, motioning for her to follow him. "You want to train so badly, I'll show you a thing or two. Try to keep up, princess."
Uvo would join sometime after and then, Chrollo observed on the third day. He had his arms crossed as she traded blows with Phinks. Uvo she would attack with all her strength and he would simply toss her back without striking. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew how that would go if he were to hit her.
On the fourth she dived kicked Phinks, as she drove down from a tree, creating a crater beneath her feet. He moved out of the way, skirting to the left. she reached down, found a rock and threw it at his temple. He pulled his head back in mid-air, catching it with his teeth.
She laughed, "Disgusting."
"That style is not suitable." Chrollo commented stepping toward them wearing a suitcoat and dress pants for whatever reason. He often went places dressed like this, coming back with various stolen items and new abilities galore. "She's no enhancer."
Azyel rolled her eyes one hand on her hip, she dusted off her white track suit, a gift from Phinks. She didn't see the issue. Her father was an enhancer himself. "It's perfectly—"
Ignoring her, Chrollo continued, "While strength training is key, a more subtle style would better benefit her."
Uvo scratched his beard, looking down at her small form, "I guess you're right. She is a little thing."
She scrunched her nose at him and he flashed his white teeth. She felt so much like a child with Uvo. She wanted to tap her fingers against his teeth to know the sound they would make. She wanted him to pretend to bite them as her father did when—
She closed her eyes. "What difference does it make?"
"A world of difference," Chrollo said vaguely. His eyes were vacant unseeing as they looked her over. "I'll take over."
Uvo was the first to speak up, "We don't mind training the little runt, do we Phinks? She's a lot less attitude when she's running for her life."
She scoffed again, crossing her arms. She was smiling despite herself.
"It's no problem." Phinks says.
"I know you enjoy it, but it's for the best." Chrollo gives them both a weighted look. "You're much too soft on her. You let her be sloppy. I won't."
Uvo shrugged, as if to say, 'fair enough."
Panic shot through her like lampoon. He was determined to steal her of every happiness, wasn't he? Well, she wouldn't have it!
"Oh, so now that I'm having fun, you want to rob me of it?" She snorted, giving a challenging step forward. "As typical as it is for a bore like yourself, I think not."
A strange glow danced in his dusky gaze. He blinked and it was gone again. "I'll train you…or no one will."
"Ha. Likely. Uvo and Phinks'll—" she paused, knowing before she even looked at them, what the answer would be. Both looked away from her, rocking steps back. "They'lll…you…you—" she screamed. "Ugh! I hate you!"
She stormed off, not glancing back at the traitors and their stupid, stupid boss.
She'd planned to starve herself in protest, but that did not last. How could she deny herself the barest human decency? On that she lasted a single hour and joined the others at the table as soon as she saw they were not leaving. Unlikely. For not giving into Chrollo? Oh. She lasted one day and then another.
On the third, she came to him. "What would you have me do?"
As always, he looked pleased. As always, she wanted to slide a dagger through his cold, rotting heart, twisting until it fell to the ground so she could smash it with her little, runty shoes.
Now, they were here. And he was worse than ever.
When did Chrollo become so annoying? So boring? Azyel thought. Who am I kidding? He's always been that. I was just too sheltered and stupid to realize it. That was old Azyel though. The new me can't be conned. I won't be.
Trying to find her own amusement, Azyel's eyes wandered back to that table with the neat four. The waiters had scattered. Eight guards lined the table's right, flush against the garden's edge, spilling over into the rose bushes. A woman with strawberry blonde hair, and a beautiful, stony expression wore white gloves and an off the shoulder magenta gown. Diamonds twinkled at her ears. Across from her, with his back to Azyel, a man sat with a deep red sash from his right shoulder to his left hip. Deep brown ringlets fell to the collar of his ivory coat. To the man's left, a young girl chatted restlessly, her strawberry hair done in extravagant curls. Her pearly pink shoes didn't touch the crème stone beneath her seat. She was so consumed with her own world, unknowing, the girl reminded Azyel immediately of Helia. Helia. Azyel didn't know when, but she'd began missing her too, even if their friendship had only been for show. She missed her. While she hated Helia's parents, the girl couldn't be blamed.
Closing her eyes briefly, she turned her gaze to the final member of the table. Once she did, Azyel found a pair of pale blue eyes staring right at her. She blinked in surprise. At first, she looked behind herself, but saw no one of note (waiters bustling about). Then, she turned back and still the eyes stared, hung with dark lashes, brown curls dipping here and there covering a dark arrogant brow. The boy had a blush mouth set into a line. As he stared, he didn't blink. Moreover, there was something…
She couldn't put her finger on it. But, it was like an umbrella of midnight twirled above him, removing the shimmer from the sun.
Finally, his mouth parted and he mouthed, "What's your name?"
Azyel turned her head, ignoring the strange beating in her chest. Instead, she turned to Shalnark.
He was playing his game, so she elbowed him in the ribs.
"Hey!" He exclaimed, his fingers slipped on the controls and an explosion shot from the game. "YOU LOSE!" it shouted. "Oh, man, thanks a lot Azyel." Shalnark frowned, about to press start again.
She covered the game with her hands, "Hey," she gained his big green eyes, "Who's that?"
As subtle as she could, she tipped her head in the boy's direction. "The prince."
Shal looked right over at him, throwing any and all subtly over to the wayside. She frowned at his blatant staring. "Oh! You have a good eye. His name is Prince Adarian, he's from a small country west of here."
She didn't think he was a prince, he was just handsome like one. "I see. Do they stare a lot in that small country?"
"Probably not," Shal said, and then looked back over to her with a smile, "I just think he likes you."
"He doesn't know me." Azyel told him.
Shal shrugged, "You don't really need to know someone to think they're cute. Look, he wants your attention."
She set her eyes back on the Prince. He mouthed, "Tell me your name." It was more demand than ask. She was tempted anyhow.
Azyel looked back to Shalnark, "Shall I?"
"I don't see why not!" he sat up straight in his seat. Azyel smiled at him, he could always be counted on for his enthusiasm, "Go on. You probably shouldn't give our names though."
"I didn't intend to." She told Shal, then turning back to the boy, mouthed, "Azyel."
"Azyel." He repeated it, closing his eyes, when they opened he responded, "That's pretty. You're pretty."
Azyel found herself smiling at the compliment. Well, it's about time someone points out the truth. "Why are you staring?" she asked.
"I'm not." He said, leaning forward. "I'm just looking at you. I want to look at you closer. Can you come over here?"
From his height alone, she could tell he wasn't much older than she. Shalnark was two years her senior, but this boy was a little shorter, so not quite Shal's age.
She snorted, "Why should I come to you, if you aren't staring?"
"Fine," He said, rolling those endless eyes of his, "I'm staring. Now, will you come?"
She shook her head.
His eyes narrowed, mouth puckering. "Ask your caretakers if I can come over there." He then added, "Please."
Finally, she smiled. His eyes brightened, he smiled back.
"You guys are really so cute." Shalnark commented, ruining the magic.
Azyel turned to her blonde haired companion, "Hush. Anyway, do you think they'd mind?"
"'Course not. Here, I'll ask," Shalnark grabbed Chrollo's attention, "Hey, Boss, Azyel wants something."
"Oh?" Chrollo turned from his conversation and gave her that slightly amused look of his, "We've discussed this before, haven't we? You're among the spiders now. What do we do to the things we want?"
Azyel dropped his gaze.
"Azyel?" His pointer finger slipped beneath her chin, holding it up so her eyes could not escape his heavy, empty grey gaze. It strange how she didn't notice it before. She'd swear she saw planets when really it was space, space empty save for broken meteorites and stardust.
"We take them." She said, not at all trying to conceal her resentment.
Appreciatively, his thumb brushed against her chin, "Good girl."
Letting her go, Chrollo picked up his discarded book, "Now, what is it, you want?"
"Him." Azyel pointed over to the prince, speaking before her mind had thoroughly sifted through her words, "I want him."
Chrollo's gazed slid over to the boy. Upon meeting Chrollo's eyes, the Prince's gaze narrowed, he scowled. "I see." He turned back to her, using his soft voice, "Do you know who that is?"
"Prince Adarian."
Chrollo's eyes found Shalnark. Shalnark looked sheepish. Chrollo came back to her with, "I should have guessed you'd find yourself a prince. You have immeasurable luck and, of course, that face of yours would turn anyone's eye."
Chrollo was not trying to flatter her. He was speaking as though stating facts, dispassionate and objective, she felt her cheeks burn anyway. "So?"
He'd awoken from his pensive state. "Hmph?"
"Can he come over here?"
"Oh, right. Actually, I'd rather you went to him." His smile deepened at her scowl, "What's that expression? Just because you go to someone else, it doesn't make you less. It doesn't put you in their power."
Superior, she side-eyed him, "My mother would feel differently."
"Your mother is no longer here."
Azyel's eyes flashed. Pakunoda's glass shattered, soaking the table with petal pink champagne. "Woah," she said, wiping up the mess. Pakunoda gave her a slightly exasperated look. Azyel couldn't make herself care.
Sighing, Chrollo tried to calm her, "Azyel—"
Ignoring him, she got up, and left the table. She threw her hair over her shoulder and marched over to the Prince Adarian. His parents stood at her approach. His father had an extra chair brought over. She sat beside the Prince, and his bright smile engaged her immediately.
"That was cold, Boss." Shalnark commented, always wearing his smile.
Impassive, Chrollo slid back into his book, returning to Heathcliff and Catherine, "It needed to be done."
The only major issue with finishing so soon was the waiting. The good thing, of course, was that most were eager to focus on their own targets, finding very little time in their schedules to bother her at all. That left Azyel mostly to her own devices, giving her time to think through all that had occurred the night before.
Illumi's face hung in her mind's eye like a tapestry, hungrily moving this way and that as she turned from him. he was something of an animal, that Illumi. Mouth watering at the slightest give. Eyes blown wide with thirst.
She doubted even he noticed it. Even still, she couldn't deny the electric thrill that ran parallel with her nerves. The pooling of desire he'd poured from his cup, attempting to spill hers over. She could feel it splashing around now, swirling, little droplets spilling onto the floor like the first sign of rain….
Azyel swallowed, her mouth overfilled with saliva. She groaned. "I need to get a handle on this. It won't help me." Talking to herself wouldn't either. She needed something. Anything. A picture of a cute kitten perhaps? Maybe something grotesque could drown her desire? Snuff it out? Yes. I'll try that.
Azyel crossed her arms and imagined herself chest to chest with that bald shinobi person. From the neck down, he was something of a specimen. From the neck up, however….she bristled. Acidic bile climbing up from her gut to bubble up into her throat popping and spitting—
The pool of golden want had all but drained away. All it took was a bald head and a crudely covered body….
Body. She blinked and he was shirtless.
Azyel threw her hands in the air and growled in frustration. "Come on—"
Azyel halted. Everyone was minding their own business.
Everyone save for Killua, that is.
"Hey."
Azyel lifted her head, eyeing the white haired boy as he balanced on the branch above her like a boon. His badge was still in place, the ninety-nine used like obvious bait.
Like a paper set to flame, her earlier imagery burned to a crisp, scattering ashes to the air.
The gods truly were good, weren't they?
Killua had a dry, tone. Uninterested. His eyes gave him away though, they were bright as they looked at her. "I guess this means you're finished."
"Hmm." She hummed. He had no idea what he'd saved her from. No idea still that she'd never be able to tell him. Her only choice was to entertain her new friend as a thank you. He sought her out for a reason. The reason being, undoubtedly, his own boredom. Thankfully, she was a bit of an expert at assuaging one's boredom.
His eyes narrowed, "You're in one of your moods. Did your boyfriend break up with you or something?"
Azyel cut her eyes at him. He was more like his brother than he realized. "You're quite impolite, you know that?"
He shrugs, "Just askin'. Why're you just sitting here?"
Azyel frowned, clicking her finger nails against her earring. "Thinking."
"About?"
Azyel sighed, losing her frown for a smile. Her voice was sweet, as if speaking of birds and roses. "The best kind of candy."
Killua tucked his arms behind his head, at ease. "Yeah, I get that."
He didn't. But she'd let that be.
Azyel nodded her head, smiling at her own euphemism. "Are you hungry?"
He lifted an eyebrow, "I could eat."
Azyel slipped from the branch, her arms spread out around her as she floated toward the ground. The moment she landed, shoes soft against the grass, Killua was by her side completely nonplussed. "There's a stream near here," she pointed forward through the thin line of trees, picking over the over grown roots. "You can catch us some fish."
Killua bristled, "Yeah, and what are you going to do?"
Azyel lifted her eyebrow, reaching over to pat his shoulder. His eyes cut over to her, narrowed with irritation. He's as cute as I remember. "Point them out, of course. You're an assassin Killua, there are very few here more adept than you are. I think you would perform admirably."
Killua blinked, allowing a touch of interest to show. "How did you know I was an assassin?"
Azyel winked at him, nudging the younger boy with her elbow, "The same reason you had faith in my ability. I remember you, Killua." She turned her head back. She'd stepped forward, only to find him hanging back. "Come on. Tell me about what has happened since we've been apart. We were meant to be family once, I'd like to know what brings you here…so far away from the Mountains."
Killua's cat eyes observed her still. Their blue holding her honey eyes as if searching, looking for deception or familiarity? Azyel decided it was one or the other. Killua, killer or no killer, was still just a curious little boy. Catish in his own way. Iris would be like him by now…
Azyel waited for him, the morning air combing through their hair as it began to pick up around them.
Finally, with a groan, he sighed. "You're pretty nosey."
Azyel had him. Truth be told, she wasn't necessarily all that curious, any one with a brain could guess at his reasons. They weren't difficult to deduce. Take Illumi as an example, he was an unstable lune. Of course, Killua would want to escape that fate. Still, she needed a reason to stay near him. without one, she may find herself wandering. Now, was not the time for that. No. It was not the time at all. "I'm curious about you. You seem so innocent. Innocent boys don't run from their families to be hunters and you had to run because…well, I remember your family well. I think it unlikely they'd like for you to leave."
The suspicious look in his gaze faded out, sparked by something wild and eager. "It's a long story."
She turned from him, walking toward the stream. "You can tell me as you fish," she said, and then grinned over her shoulder at him, "I am sure you are a great multitasker. A trait to be admired."
Suddenly, he was walking at her side, snorting. "Say what you want. No matter how you spin it, you still just sound lazy. You catch your own fish."
She giggled, "But don't you think you would be much faster? Who's to say I'd be any good?"
"Lazy." He repeated, a glint in his eye, "But fine. I catch your fish and you tell me why you're really here."
She waved him off. Afterall, he was only a boy. Boys moved to anything that had shine. "I'm not that complicated. You're thinking too much about this."
"I think you didn't give the whole story."
"You think I'd lie to you, Killua?"
"I think you'd leave stuff out."
"I'm not sure I appreciate your candor. Have you ever heard of a white lie? They've been known to save friendships, you know?"
"No. I don't."
"That's no fun."
The stream was not far. It took them five minutes of walking to come across it. She hung on the river bank, building a small fire while, Killua threw the fish he captured over. Several were small. The last two were huge. They were green and yellow. Bluegill maybe?
When she was younger she and her father would go to different aquariums to see them swim. They'd all just move and he'd point them out. She'd have to name them. When she was done, they'd head over to the jewelry store. Earning herself a pair of earrings. From those trips alone she'd won over thirty pairs. She found them later, much later after she'd returned.
Killua licked his lips as he skewered the fish and positioned them over the flame. "You really need to get out more."
"Oh?" she asked teasingly, pulling her eyes up from the yellowed flame. "And where are we, if not out?"
"Don't be stupid. You know what I mean." Feeding the fire, he gestured over to her with a hand, "Well, are you going to tell me or what?"
"I told you I'm not that complicated." She said, but then added, "I just needed distance…that's all."
"From who?"
"Old friends."
"That's hard to believe." Killua said, "I mean…you go to such lengths to avoid doing work but you avoid your friends? How weird is that?"
"It's not so weird." She said, thinking on the days leading up to her departure. The misery that ran leg and leg with her humiliation, her broken pride. The months it took to repair it. "I'll maybe explain it to you when you're older."
He raised a brow at her, "Oh, I get it. It's got something to do with sex, doesn't?"
Azyel burst out laughing, clutching her stomach.
"What? Hey, shut up! That's a valid question! Stop laughing!" he blushed, flustered by her display. He threated her with his stick, waving it frantically around. "Stop! Hey! Stop or else you'll get it!"
Eyes running with tears. She managed to quiet herself. "You'll have to forgive me. You're just way too young to know anything about sex."
"It's not like you're that much older than I am." He said tossing his stick into the fire with a huff. He glared at her, cheeks even more pink now. "Stop looking at me like that!"
"I can't help it." She says, "You're just so cute!"
Biting down on his lip, he cut his eyes away, "Well, anyway, how old are you?"
"I'll be eighteen soon. March 27th."
"Oh." He seemed to deflate a bit. "About six years then."
"Yes." She looked longingly down at the fish. "Why're you here, Killua? And before you try to be clever, I mean taking the exam, not here with me."
He shrugged, "I want to be different than my family."
She recalled that feeling, only, at the time she was a different person. She'd had no clue she would be the person she was now. No inkling. "Understandable. How did you manage to leave?"
"I attacked my mom and brother." He said casually, without remorse.
That irked her a little, especially since she could no longer see hers. "Oh?"
Sensing her mood, he quickly added, "But they totally deserved it."
"Hmm."
"They did!"
"Did I say something?"
"No. but I can tell you're judging me." He says snappishly, "I can hear it in your voice."
She sighs, "I only judge because I wish I had your problems. I wish my family was at home, waiting for me to come back. I wish they could be angry with me." She cracked a smile. That was one of the most truthful things she's ever told anyone. She closed her eyes. "but your situation is different from mine. I don't have any room to judge you."
He looked at her, "So, did you leave home, is that why you escaped the murder of your family?"
"Yes." She said simply, gesturing toward the fish. "Sometimes I wish I hadn't."
"And you think I'll feel that way?" He sounded petulant; all pretense of maturity forgotten.
She took the stick of fish he offered, pulling at its flesh with her fingers to taste. "I hope you don't. It's not a fun feeling. Among every feeling in the world, regret is the worst."
A shuffling of branches, revealed a figure moving toward them. Slow, slothful steps.
Killua's eyes tracked over to it, as he bit into his food. "Your ex-boyfriend's here."
"I know." She says, the spark was back. So was the thrill in knowing he'd followed after her. The knowing that she held so much sway over him. the power in that. He would be punished, of course, it would continue, as soon as she discovers his reason following after her after she told him not to. "he likes to follow me like a little stalker."
"Do you think he's jealous?" Killua joked, smiling over to the figure. Suddenly, realization washed over her. You don't recognize him…do you?
This was interesting. Her first thought was to tell Killua, just to spoil illumi's fun. Her second thought, the one that ultimately won out, was to say nothing. Afterall, Killua had just said he was trying to escape his family. Imagine his reaction to finding out he hadn't escaped them at all?
Drama undoubtedly and Azyel was just not in the mood for it. "Always." She gives him a wink, "But if he knows me at all, he would know you're not exactly my taste. I'll leave all that to Hisoka."
Killua gave her a questioning look, not understanding. "Huh?"
She waved him off as Illumi approached them.
His eyes brightened on the man, "Want me to kill for you?"
She smiled, "No. I think I'll hear what he has to say first. Keep the food warm. I'll be back soon. I'll let you protect me after that."
He scowled, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, whatever."
She followed Illumi deep into the forest, deeper still until she was sure Killua was out of earshot.
"You're very bad at following instructions."
"I wanted to give you time to cool down, Dear."
She bristled. "Do you have a reason for stalking my friend and I?"
"You're not doing him any favors, you know?"
"I think you've confused to two of us."
"While I don't mind the two of you growing closer, it wouldn't benefit him to associate with the others."
"And why is that?"
"Because he does not need friends." Illumi's voice was deep, he spoke as if he spoke true gospel, fact.
"And what is Hisoka to you?" She asks, "Not your friend?"
"No. I wouldn't call him that."
"Hypocrite." She turned, stepping back the way she'd come. She didn't blame him for being one, she herself, danced the dance of a hypocrite, and she was quite good at it. No. The lying was the issue. That she would not forgive.
He dogged her steps, walking close behind.
She paused. "Do you mind?"
"I'm just making sure you get back to Killua safely. You said you wanted my protection, remember?"
"That was before I found out you were a liar."
"What's wrong with a little lying? You can't say you've never told a lie before?"
"I haven't lied in three years, perhaps longer. I won't."
Illumi hummed, "Why not?"
"Because I am surrounded by liars." She says, glancing over his shoulder, "And I like to think that I am superior to them. Is that so difficult to understand?"
"Not difficult. Pretentious, but not difficult."
She'd allow him that. "Go away now."
"I had an ulterior motive, you know, for seeking you out."
She continued on, stepping across the length of roots. The smell of smoking fish filling her senses.
"I can help you find Iris."
Azyel stopped short.
"As an assassin," Illumi had pressed himself so close to her back, his breaths rolled across her ear, curling around her neck. "I have a myriad of contacts to choose from. You operate in the light, I in the shadows. Who do you think has the better reach?"
Light, he said? An interesting assumption, one she would not correct as that was her intent from the beginning, to be his opposite to drag him into her depths. But…that was before she knew who he was. Now that she was aware…it seemed almost silly. Still, without her own shadowy companions by her side, finding Iris would be difficult. She could throw money at the problem, but money would only take her so far…
"Fine." Azyel told him, leaning her head back so he could look down into her eyes. "After."
He grinned. "I look forward to it."
She rolled her eyes, stepping away from him.
"You're more like me than you realize, Azyel." He tells her, something slightly sporadic and jumpy in his tone. Was maniacal the word? "Like me…you'll do anything for family."
Giving him a final glance, she said nothing, returning to the comfort of the flame and his brother's sweet smile.
It wasn't as unselfish as it seemed. She wanted an excuse, craved one even. He gave her one. She took it.
Author's Note: Hello! I want to thank everyone for the lovely, lovely reviews! I've read them all twice now. And it's definitely given me motivation to start this up again. My original chapter was lost ( I wrote it at work and saved it to that work account so when I left the job they were quick to shut me out, the chapter was lost). I'm glad people are so interested in this story. I love when people catch lines and little things in the story and then point them out in the reviews. I was like Yes! Someone gets it! And about Azyel's character, thank you! I was wondering if that was coming across. She's like many of the characters in Universe, questionable and mildly unreasonable.
Definitely love writing her and Illumi. I can't wait to write Present!Azyel with Chrollo. It's so different from her younger self. She's still a wilder Azyel. Present her doesn't condescend to people as much or liken them to animals as her younger self did. Her condescension is a bit more subtle, you almost miss it.
I love the difference between the characters, the before and after, if you will.
Anyway, Oh! I love the reviews. Again, I've been meaning to update, but this story is so much more involved that my other. The other story, I just type and submit the same day. I have to write this one in pieces so it takes longer. You guys have been so, so patient with me so here's the chapter.
I hope I can update next month. I have the chapter sketched out, but I will probably need some motivation to get me through it. Thanks again everyone!