Author's Note:
I received a number of fun and thoughtful reviews after posting Chapter 9, which were very much appreciated (thank you, StariChanx, AsthaRen, blodwite). Unfortunately, while I received them, they haven't been posted to the story publicly.
I'm not sure if this is a problem with the FanFiction site, or if it happened because I had to update the chapter twice after the original posting - once to correct an annoying (to me) number of typos, and once to fix a continuity/flow issue noticed by one of the reviewers (thank you, red1Rogue - I added a couple of sentences...).
And kathryn1995 - alas, you and Chizuru may both have to speculate about that late night chat.
I had to delay the chapter A Legend in Her Own Mind, because once again, certain characters wanted more air time than I had originally planned. But at least now I know what to call Chapter 11.
All reviews, Favourites/Follows are welcome and appreciated!
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Chapter 10 – Of Meals and Men, Part III
Two days passed uneventfully after Hijikata-san's return with the injured Sannan-san. There seemed to be a lot of activity around the compound, but the guard schedule for Chizuru didn't change much at first, except in one notable respect: Saitō-san was no longer on duty all night, every night. She wondered what had changed, and why, but reminded herself that the change was no doubt welcome to the Third Division Captain.
On the third day, Gen-san spoke with her after breakfast to say that he would appreciate her assistance with the midday meal. He also asked if she would mind helping out with other chores such as putting out laundry to dry – and bringing it in as soon as the weather clouded over, which was not uncommon in late February. He escorted her to the kitchen and around the compound as necessary, and Chizuru finally got to see much more of her new home, or at least that portion of it around the leaders' and captains' living quarters.
If somebody had asked Chizuru a year before whether she would be excited about helping with menial chores for the leadership of a barely-respectable military organization, her answer would likely have been no. On the other hand, she had always been curious about the world around her, and the tasks allowed her to spend her time productively and in the company of others.
"She sure works hard," Heisuke commented to Nagakura and Harada one evening after dinner, as the three of them sat out on the raised wooden walkway around the inner courtyard.
"Well, the food has improved, that's for sure," replied Nagakura. "It's only been a week, but I can always tell when Chizuru-chan has helped with the meal."
"Yeah, Kondō-san is pretty happy about that," Heisuke agreed. "He says it reminds him of Edo."
There was a short silence, and then Harada voiced the unspoken thought of all three of them.
"I'm not sure that Hijikata-san knows that she is out of her room so much. He's missed a lot of meals lately and he's been… busy. I think Gen-san was originally going to talk to him about letting her do more, but I'm pretty sure he ended up just talking to Kondō-san instead."
"I'm sure not going to complain about the extra help!" said Heisuke cheerfully.
"Me neither. And Chizuru-chan's really nice to have around." Nagakura reached over and rubbed his knuckles roughly against the top of the younger man's head. "So watch what you say, okay shrimp? No more screw-ups."
"Sheesh, Shinpachi! Let it go already!" Heisuke shoved the other captain's hand away, glaring with annoyance.
Harada watched Nagakura try to push Heisuke off the walkway. He thought that Shinpachi was right to keep warning Heisuke to be careful, especially with the Vice Commander so edgy. He himself had been unobtrusively steering Hijikata away from areas where he might run into Chizuru, and he'd noticed Saitō nearby a couple of those times. He also had to give Sōji some credit, since he'd drawn the irascible leader's fire a couple of times at strategic moments. With Sōji, though, he wasn't quite sure if he was trying to help Chizuru or annoy Hijikata. Probably some of the former and a lot of the latter.
"Sano?"
"Hmm?"
"You want to tell us what you're thinking about so hard?" Nagakura's bright blue eyes held a look that was a little too knowing for Harada's comfort.
"I was thinking about Sōji," he answered truthfully.
"Uh-huh. You were thinking about how you can keep Hijikata off Chizuru-chan's back long enough for her to settle in here – since it looks like she's stuck with us for a while and vice versa. And you're still worried that Heisuke will blab something he shouldn't just because he thinks Chizuru's cute…"
"Shut up, Shinpachi," muttered Heisuke.
"…And you're wondering when we're going to be able to get out of here for a real drink," concluded Nagakura, deciding to lighten things up a bit.
"Actually, right now I'm wondering when we're going to go in because it's getting really cold sitting out here," responded his tall friend, with his customary slow smile.
Stretching, the three of them got up and went inside. Harada turned his head just before he left and stared briefly into a patch of dark shadow under the courtyard's one sakura tree; he had seen the glimmer of a white scarf there just a moment before, confirming that Chizuru was not being left unguarded at night.
Gen-san was with her the most often, but she saw almost all the other captains from time to time as they took turns in the kitchen or the laundry, or brought water from the well or charcoal from the storage shed. Chizuru couldn't understand at first why they didn't allow common soldiers to complete such tasks, but she accepted it as the way the Shinsengumi leadership chose to operate.
In fact, the absence of the regular soldiers from the leaders' part of the compound made things easier for her, for which she was grateful. Eventually, she realized that the captains would not have been able to discuss important matters as openly, or to relax and joke as freely with each other as they did, without the space they created by taking on their own chores. Nevertheless, she found the arrangement at odds with her perceptions of men in general and of the warrior class in particular.
The first time that Gen-san took her by the kitchen, she was surprised to find Okita-san and Saitō-san preparing lunch.
"Do the two of you always prepare the meals, Okita-san?" she asked, finding both men with their wide sleeves tied back and several dishes cooking.
"Of course not," he replied somewhat irritably, although his tone was less brusque than his words. "No, we take turns. Except for Hijikata-san. He was such a terrible cook that we all agreed to take him off the roster."
"Well, you over-season all the food, Sōji," commented Saitō, who was chopping vegetables into neat, uniform pieces and adding them to a pot.
"Yare yare. You guys are always complaining. It tastes fine to me."
Gen-san looked dubiously at the soup, which Okita-san was stirring somewhat sporadically.
"Well, I thought I would show Yukimura-kun around the kitchen today, so why don't we take over for you, Okita-kun?"
"Sounds good to me, Gen-san. I think I'll sit here in the kitchen though, to see how Chizuru-chan handles things."
Saitō-san shot him a sharp look, but said nothing.
"Yukimura-kun, could you check the soup please?" asked Gen-san, gently nudging Okita out of the way.
Chizuru stirred and then tasted the soup. It was extremely salty. She and Gen-san discussed how best to fix the problem, while Okita-san looked on rather grumpily. However, once he recovered from the slurs on his cooking, Chizuru had to admit that Okita-san could be entertaining company. He was also able to take a joke at his own expense, which surprised her a little, although she should have remembered past episodes with Saitō-san.
"You lay out the trays very neatly, Yukimura-kun," noted Saitō toward the end of the preparation.
It made her jump a little, as she hadn't heard or sensed him come up behind her. The other two men looked over appraisingly.
"It's true," Okita conceded dryly. "But it's a good thing that we already know you're a girl, Chizuru-chan, because those trays would be a dead give-away."
"That may be correct," responded Saitō calmly, "but in the future, perhaps you could contrive more esthetically pleasing presentations, Sōji."
Okita-san stared at him.
"You have got to be kidding!" he declared, revolted.
Saitō-san said nothing, but the ghost of a smile crossed his face. Gen-san was stifling a laugh.
"Well, Okita-kun, at least with four of us to take the trays into lunch, it should go very smoothly. Yukimura-kun, rather than carrying trays, you will open doors for us and ensure there are no collisions in the hallways."
It went like this for the next several days. From time to time, Chizuru even returned to her room on her own, and since she was so likely to be occupied with chores, whoever was on guard would often spend his time practising in the small courtyard. This suited everyone, and since the girl was almost always around at least one of the captains, Hijikata-san didn't realize quite what was happening until about two weeks after his return to Kyoto.
On the day in question, Hijikata-san was walking by the kitchen when he found Chizuru standing in the doorway, sometime before lunch, talking to the three men within. Saitō-san and Okita-san were cooking the meal, and Heisuke-kun was standing in the middle of the room holding a tray of food that held that morning's breakfast.
"What are you doing here?!" the Vice Commander demanded, sounding much as he had two weeks earlier when he'd returned from Osaka. "I gave you permission to eat with us, not to wander around whenever you felt like it."
His eyes were glittering dangerously, but Chizuru was always capable of courage when she wanted to help others.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Hijikata-san!" she said cheerfully, bowing politely as if she hadn't heard his annoyance or seen the narrowed purple eyes. "I heard that Sannan-san has not been eating his meals, so I came to ask if I might be allowed to look after them."
"Why would that do any good?" the Vice Commander asked bluntly, clearly skeptical and not diverted from his irritation at finding her out of her room.
Chizuru kept her eyes lowered respectfully. Not for nothing had she lived for so many years with an autocratic and traditional father. There were different ways to be stubborn; sometimes deferential politeness worked quite well.
"I often prepared food for my father's patients, Hijikata-san, or instructed family members on appropriate dishes. I believe that I can be of assistance to Sannan-san."
"He won't get better if he doesn't eat," said Heisuke, nodding at the untouched tray of food.
"I'm sure that we can manage without Yukimura's assistance," Hijikata said harshly. "You are more likely to make Sannan feel worse by making the attempt," he added to Chizuru.
"Oh let her try, Hijikata-san," said Okita, turning an irritated expression of his own on the Vice Commander. "What's the harm? He won't be any worse off than he is now. He hasn't even touched his chopsticks in two days you know. We're tired of making him food he won't eat."
Chizuru chanced a look up and saw Okita-san, ladle in hand, facing down the Vice Commander. His sardonic green eyes expressed his opinion as clearly as his words. Saitō-san didn't say anything at all, but he too had turned away from his meal preparation, and Chizuru could sense his solid support behind her. Even without looking, she knew that his brows had risen and that his stance was saying what his face didn't.
Hijikata-san obviously reached the same conclusion he had two weeks ago over Chizuru's presence at meals.
"Fine, do what you like! I'll hold you accountable for the consequences."
He stalked away, and Heisuke released his breath.
"OK, Chizuru-chan, I'll leave things to you then." He smiled encouragingly and left, leaving the tray on a counter.
Chizuru was still looking after the Vice Commander.
"Isn't Hijikata-san worried about Sannan-san?" she asked, puzzled by the purple-eyed man's apparent lack of anxiety for the Deputy Commander. She had difficulty reading the Vice Commander, sometimes because he was completely controlled and sometimes because his anger concealed other emotions.
Saitō-san turned a grave face toward her.
"You misunderstand, Yukimura-kun. Hijikata-san is more worried about Sannan-san than anybody else. Sannan-san was wounded while Hijikata-san fought at his side. The Vice Commander was there but could not prevent the injury."
Okita-san appeared to agree with Saitō-san's assessment. At least, he refrained from his usual snide comments about Hijikata-san.
Sometime later, Chizuru knelt in front of Sannan-san's door. None of the captains were with her, as they had all gone in to eat by the time she was done preparing the meal. Despite inward trepidation, she called out her request to enter in a calm, clear voice.
"Come in, please," the Deputy Commander responded.
"Excuse me," she said politely as she entered, setting the tray down near Sannan-san.
He was sitting at a low work-table, and she saw what she took to be scientific apparatus – strange-looking glass tubes and beakers resting in wooden stands and connected by glass tubing. His back was to the door, and she couldn't see much of his face.
"I wasn't expecting you to bring my meal, Yukimura-kun," he said pleasantly, but without turning to look at her.
Chizuru bowed anyway, and put her hands on her knees.
"I prepared the meal myself, Sannan-san," she explained. "I cut the vegetables very fine so that the soup can be drunk without difficulty. The rice is shaped into onigiri, instead of being served in a bowl."
This time, the Deputy Commander turned, his usually calm expression turned icy and on the edge of anger. As expected, Chizuru could see the fine lines of pain around eyes and mouth. He was master of himself still, she thought, but the fear and pain were starting to eat at his control.
"Who set you up to this? Hijikata-kun? Okita-kun?"
"N-no, Sannan-san, it was my own idea."
"So you pity me and seek to prevent me from making a mess when I try to use chopsticks. I don't need or want your pity!"
"Oh no, Sannan-san, it isn't that! But everyone is very worried about you. They all want you to come back and eat with them and I just thought this would be – easier, more convenient for you."
"Then you are trying to secure a place with us for your own purposes – to find your father, to enlist our sympathy – by being useful." He avoided looking at the tray and turned back to his table.
"That is possible, Sannan-san," Chizuru acknowledged quietly. "But the others truly miss you."
She waited a moment for a response, and then bowed again to his back.
"Excuse me, Sannan-san."
She let herself out quietly and returned slowly to the common room to eat her own lunch, discouraged. The Deputy Commander was much more than the soft-spoken, almost scholarly man he appeared; she had sensed the deep strength below the surface before. She didn't know him well enough to judge, but she instinctively feared where such strength might turn if despair gained the upper hand.
Chizuru had not seen her silent shadow standing guard outside the door while she spoke with Sannan. But Harada had noticed Saitō slip unobtrusively into the meeting room just a minute or so before Chizuru returned, her face troubled. He had also observed Saitō's quick, unspoken negative to Hijikata upon entering.
For just a moment, the tall spearman felt a flash of annoyance. Couldn't they give her a chance? Cut her just a bit of slack? They were both excellent judges of character, too, though Saitō rarely voiced his opinions. And then Harada's own good sense and shrewd judgment kicked in and it occurred to him, again, that Saitō seemed to be looking out for Chizuru as much as guarding the Shinsengumi from her. He laughed at himself ruefully – he should know better than to underrate either Hijikata or Saitō.
Everyone had seen Chizuru enter, looking disappointed.
"Aww, don't worry about it Chizuru-chan," Heisuke said consolingly. "We'll figure something out."
"Thank you for trying, Yukimura-kun," Kondō-san told her with his warm smile.
Nagakura patted her shoulder as she took her usual spot. "It's okay, Chizuru-chan."
Harada would have contributed his own reassurance, but just then the door slid open and Sannan-san stepped in, deftly balancing his tray.
His face was once more serene with a slight smile. As if not noticing the openly startled expressions around him, he took his own place beside Kondō-san, and neatly set down his food.
"Itadakimasu," the Deputy Commander murmured. Then he picked up one of the onigiri and looked around the room with slightly raised brows, as though wondering why they were all looking at him.
Harada's mouth twitched into an admiring smile. Sannan-san knew how to play to an audience as well as or better than most.
"I once heard that meals are better when eaten in the company of others," the injured man said cheerfully, starting his meal.
"Yes they are!" Kondō-san agreed heartily.
Chizuru was beaming with relief. For a moment, it seemed to all of them there that anything could be overcome with enough thought and effort.
A/N Well, off to Chapter 11 - A Legend in Her Own Mind! Should be lots of fun... :) Hope you stay with me!
[Updated A/N: Well, OK, another chapter crept in there. I blame the Shinsengumi.]