Author's Note:

"The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing." - Blaise Pascal

"Le cœur a ses raisons, que la raison ne connaît point. On le sent en mille choses. C'est le cœur qui sent Dieu, et non la raison. Voilà ce que c'est que la foi parfaite, Dieu sensible au cœur." - original full quote, Blaise Pascal

[Note: The second part of this quote is very rarely translated, so I am including the full text in French only.]

Thank you as always to my readers. The slight delay for this chapter was due in part to a thunder storm that lasted 10 minutes and took down the main power for 12 hours.

Your reviews, thoughts and comments are very much appreciated. Thank you to those who have decided to Favourite and Follow recently and welcome to this AU!

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Chapter 38 – The Princess Meets Her Match?

[I - The Etiquette of Mind-Reading]

Sen glared at Kimigiku's straight back as her bodyguard went to kneel by the door of the large room.

Tell me what you think of him, she thought directly to the other woman's mind. If necessary, she could mind-speak across the country… well, she was working on it, anyway. Across the room wasn't a challenge.

"Good evening, Harada-san," Kimigiku said aloud, sliding back the door to admit a tall, red-haired man with unusual, amber eyes.

If Kimigiku had intended to catch the Shinsengumi's Tenth Division Captain off-guard, it didn't work. She found him waiting patiently outside the door, composed and unruffled.

"Good evening, Kimigiku-san," Harada responded, his eyes twinkling a little.

Well, he's brighter than most who spend their money in Shimabara, Princess, I'll give you that.

Sen ignored the shinobi's caustic remark and took the time to study the red-head while he divested himself of his katana, leaving it in Kimigiku's care. She decided that she liked his open face with its high cheekbones and expressive mouth. As for the rest… it was difficult not to notice the broad shoulders and well-defined muscles, or how the wrappings on his forearms and hands accentuated the sinewy strength in both. And yet, it was everything together that was appealing: strength and kindness; wariness and honesty; awareness and unselfconsciousness…

Princess! He is quite charming and rather good-looking… but you don't need to tell him that quite so plainly… Kimigiku sounded exasperated.

Despite all her significant mental powers, Sen was a moment too late in realising that Harada-san had noticed her scrutiny. He had turned his head slightly even as he relinquished his katana to Kimigiku, and upon meeting her wide and interested gaze one brow went up and the corners of his lips twitched with something uncomfortably like amusement. Sen was a little taken aback: usually it was her guests who blushed at her forthright behaviour and blunt evaluations; this time she was the one who looked away, disconcerted. She sent Kimigiku a sheepish okay, okay…

Still, she wondered a little why Chizuru-chan was so strongly attached to the quiet and comparatively unassuming Saitō Hajime-san. Not that Sen didn't recognize the tremendous strength in the man, it was just that he seemed rather inflexible to her way of thinking. Then again, Amagiri could appear that way and yet his situation was very romantic and not at all boring; she probably just needed to get to know her cousin's swordsman better. Most likely, her mother had been right –liking, loving, and attraction were not easily explained except in the most general of terms.

She considered what Shizuka-hime would have thought of her lapse in attention on Harada-san's arrival and smiled a little to herself. Her mother probably would have congratulated her and then asked whether it bothered her that the man had noticed Chizuru-chan first. Then they would have talked about whether it was a good idea to be attracted to such a man – pros and cons, bloodlines and politics. With an inward sigh, Sen watched Harada-san approach and bow politely. She loved Kimigiku, but she missed her mother.

"Good evening, Sen-hime," said Harada in a pleasant voice, his face now showing nothing but respect. He sat down cross-legged across from the princess, where a place had been prepared from him. "Thank you for inviting me. Especially since I didn't want to, ah, interrupt any more of Saitō's practice."

Kimigiku brought tea over from a side table, and both she and the princess smiled at the last comment.

"Amagiri manages people quite well, don't you think?" murmured the shinobi. "I think it's a legacy of the family having served the Kazama for so long. And it's disconcerting the way all the brawn provides such a good cover for the brains…"

"They are well-suited, though, aren't they?" commented Sen, rather obscurely.

Harada looked between the princess and her shinobi, trying to feel his way. He wished Shinpachi were with him. His friend occasionally lacked judgment with women, but he was shrewd when it came to unravelling politics.

"Amagiri-san seems to be very knowledgeable," he said diplomatically – he hoped – to Kimigiku. "Sen-hime, are you referring to Saitō and Amagiri-san? If so, then I tend to agree with you. You know Amagiri-san much better than I do, of course."

"And you know Saitō-san quite well, I assume?"

Harada was watching Kimigiku pour tea with a faint frown on his face, but at this he turned his full attention back to Sen. She once again had the distinct impression that he recognized Kimigiku, but couldn't quite place her. He was more observant than they had realized, and she felt an odd kind of pride in the fact.

"I suppose so," Harada was saying. "Although it's less obvious than you'd think. We've known each other for several years now: we spar together, we work together, and we have each other's backs. You've probably noticed that he's not really a big talker. On the other hand, he's perfectly willing to go out for a drink – or several – and at least when he lectures he does it quietly. He's kind of a sword geek."

"I haven't seen much of Saitō-san," mused Sen, rather regretfully. She wanted to ask how Chizuru-chan was getting along with the man she had chosen, but it seemed a little tactless just at present.

"How is Yukimura-sama?" asked Kimigiku, whose sharp eyes belied the gentle smile she affected so much of the time.

Harada paused, considering both the question and the timing of the question. It wasn't coincidental, coming right on the heels of the questions about Saitō. Was the woman trying to test him somehow? And why did she seem so ambivalent toward him? Was it because of the young princess?

"Chizuru-chan is doing fine, as far as I know," he answered. Probably a lot better now that Saitō's gotten his act together again. Honestly… "It's kind of you to ask."

He saw the two women exchange glances and groaned mentally. Of course, they probably "heard" that, too. This was getting annoying.

"You know," the spearman said to Sen-hime, "I've never really been much of a fencer. It's not that I can't, just that I'd rather not. So why don't we decide what kind of an evening we're going to have now and save time? I'd love it if somebody told me more about this business of hearing things in my head. Also, it would be great if you'd stop listening in on everything I think. What do you say?"

Kimigiku glanced sideways at him, her expression both rueful and still cautious. Sen-hime's deep magenta eyes sparkled, however, and she nodded her head, gold ornaments catching the lantern-light.

"Excellent plan," she said briskly. "Except it's not all that easy not to listen in, especially if you keep thinking at us or about us. You actually project awfully well when you're irritated. Or pleased. When you're just thinking things over you kind of… go away."

"Okay, good to know. How do I stop leaking information?"

"Well, you've already found a way that works with humans – camouflage. You convince people to constantly underrate you, so that they don't always hear or see the truth right in front of them. That won't work as well with Oni, so you'll probably have to do it the hard way and learn to actively conceal your thoughts like Saitō-san. He'd probably be a good teacher, but I suppose that could be awkward for you."

Harada-san smiled a little.

"I can manage with Saitō. Are you worried that I'm jealous of him?"

Sen blinked and then blushed slightly, for the second time that evening. What had she just said about humans underestimating this man? She put her chin up a little.

"Yes. Because it's difficult to teach anybody to use their mind properly when other issues keep getting in the way."

She tried to look ingenuous and helpful, but the fascinating amber eyes across from her clearly showed scepticism and a hint of laughter.

"You know, I could see that," Harada acknowledged, in a too-innocent tone. "So I guess that's why you're not offering to teach me. That's too bad."

Watching with unwilling admiration from the side-lines, and making no attempt to rescue her overconfident charge, Kimigiku covered her month with her hand in an effort not to laugh out loud. Both Sen and Harada-san turned to her, but only the latter spoke. Something in Kimigiku's posture or expression or both finally triggered his memory.

"Wait – I know you now. You work at the teahouse." He stopped there, eyes more wary and less amused.

"Indeed," the shinobi replied, unperturbed. She had assumed that he would eventually figure it out. "It a convenient location."

"I'll bet. So you've known us for some time then."

"Well, just to be clear, she didn't tell me much of anything," noted Sen. "I've known the key leaders of the Shinsengumi for about a year now in a general way, as your reputation has grown, but apart from that Kimigiku has kept me in the dark."

"You know why," replied her mentor imperturbably.

"Okay…" Harada interposed. "So you Sen-hime, were only spying on us in a general way, while you, Kimigiku-san, knew from Sen-hime's mother that there was Oni blood in some of us?"

Sen looked annoyed, but Kimigiku just nodded.

"Exactly," she said.

"Well, I don't suppose it really changes anything," Harada sighed. "But I will let the Vice Commander know. So, seriously, why don't we go back to discussing things I should know about this mind-reading stuff you both do?"

"And that you do," Sen put in.

"Yeah, but you actually know what you're doing. I think it's time I did too, right?"

"I agree," Sen said firmly.

Before either Kimigiku or Harada-san could say anything more, the princess gave the Shinsengumi captain one of her brilliant smiles and leaned forward slightly, focussing the whole of her considerable attention on him. Even as she began her lecture, her awareness easily picked up his slightly elevated heartbeat and the shift in mental focus that Kimigiku had taught her to recognize when they first arrived in Kyoto. This was the first time she'd specifically tried to produce that reaction and she was pleased with the effect.

"All Oni – and those part-Oni with sufficiently strong bloodlines – access power of three types: Body, Soul and Mind. The common powers that develop as an Oni child grows up include the ability to heal rapidly and the ability to sense emotions and thoughts in others. The last one is somewhat rare."

"So I'm developing like an Oni child?" Harada wrinkled his nose a little. "Why now?"

"We really aren't sure, to be honest," said Sen. She hesitated. "We're speculating that it may have to do with Chizuru-chan because of the timing."

She watched him take this in.

"And… Saitō and I ended up spending the most time with her, one way or another, right? And we showed the greatest effects from what you can tell. So what happened to Saitō? Why was he affected more?"

Sen didn't want to talk about the possibility that the nature of the affection between Chizuru-chan and Saitō-san might have made a difference, so she focussed on the one thing that they knew for sure.

"At the Ikedaya, Saitō-san was caught in the effect of a spell that tried to force him into his Oni form. My cousin Kazama Chikage was trying to convince Chizuru-chan that she really was an Oni. He didn't realize that she truly had no idea what she was or that Saitō-san would be affected. The spell can't affect humans. And then… well you know the rest."

"Hmm. So how does this apply to me?"

His eyes had become a lighter shade, more topaz than amber, and Sen suddenly realized that nobody had answered this question for Harada-san since Saitō-san's ordeal. And Kimigiku had told the red-head that he might be approaching the same point as Saitō-san – though Sen's recollection of that part of the evening was a little fuzzy.

"I am so sorry, Harada-san," she apologized. "We should have reassured you much sooner than this."

She stared across the low table at Harada-san, magenta eyes remorseful. The spearman just smiled at her encouragingly. The feeling Sen got from him was that he was here now, so why hold a grudge? His friends would have told her that it helped that she was a girl.

"It is quite unlikely that you will need to endure the same thing – or at least, we hope not. You see, most part-Oni don't attempt the Trial of Body, which is what Saitō-san went through. It's too dangerous. A few part-Oni try to use too much power, and then we have to find out if their body can make the change. That's what happened with Saitō-san."

Harada cleared his throat.

"Um, not to be difficult… but what change? Is that what you meant about Saitō's 'Oni form'?"

"Oh – you never saw, did you? And nobody told you. Again." Sen frowned slightly, trying to decide what to do.

Kimigiku stirred. It was strange, but Sen had almost forgotten her presence. Of course, the shinobi was good at that sort of thing, but it was still disconcerting. Harada-san didn't seem perturbed though, and it occurred to the young woman that he must be used to keeping track of dangerous people. It was a good reminder that he wasn't just a smart, good-looking, friendly –

Focus, commanded Kimigiku wryly. Yes, he's lovely, but you're drooling.

I am not. Sen felt the blush on her cheeks but she was not easily deterred. Besides, after everything he's been through somebody ought to be nice to him.

Shall I leave you to it then? The rejoinder from the shinobi was caustic. Then, more gently: But he has done remarkably well under difficult circumstances and I am more impressed than I expected. Just… be careful.

"Ah – Kimigiku-san? Sen-hime?"

They both looked at Harada-san, surprised to see him looking at them reprovingly.

"Talking about me are you?" he asked dryly. He looked directly at Sen who reddened further.

"We have been rude," said Kimigiku in softened tones. "And we should make amends. The Princess will show you what we mean by changing forms, and then I will go and make fresh tea and bring snacks. I expect Amagiri and Saitō-san will join us in a half-hour or so."

Sen gave the shinobi a startled look. Over the centuries it had become more and more rare to use one's Oni form except among family and close friends or when clearly necessary. Saitō-san did not realize how uncomfortable it would have been for Amagiri to change forms in front of Hijikata-san and Sannan-san. It had been necessary but also highly unconventional. She still felt a little unnerved about having to change herself, and she was much less conservative than Amagiri by nature and upbringing.

"Are you sure that's alright, Sen-hime?" asked Harada, suddenly diffident. He could sense the younger woman's uncertainty but not the nuances.

"It's fine, Harada-san," Sen responded firmly. She nodded at Kimigiku to show her appreciation for the gesture of confidence, whether in Sen's choices or in Harada-san didn't matter. "We just don't often use our other forms except in special circumstances."

The princess waited to see if there were any other questions, but the man just watched her intently, his eyes still a bit lighter than they had been earlier. She was surprised to sense interest and curiosity but only a little apprehension. He has a gift for accepting people, she thought to herself. Well, I guess we'll see…

Without moving, she allowed herself to transform, her hair becoming a silky white, her eyes passing from deep pink to bright gold, and three small white horns forming like a kind of crown around the top of her forehead. Sen had always enjoyed being in this form, because of the feeling of power it brought with it, and the keener physical senses. This time she felt a sense of uncertainty. She'd never shown this form to anyone other than family – well, not except during Saitō-san's emergency – and this was different.

For a long moment there was silence. Harada-san was obviously surprised, but his scrutiny conveyed nothing negative. In fact, quite the reverse.

"Wow... I mean, that's pretty amazing." He coloured slightly, then met her eyes, his own eyes brilliant with - was it admiration? "I can see why you don't go out like this. But, um, it really suits you." He ran his hand over his red hair, blinking a little.

"I'll just fetch the tea now, then," said Kimigiku blandly. "Excuse me."

[II - Yes, Sensei]

Saitō was a little shocked by how hungry he was. He realized very quickly that Amagiri had only joined him to eat out of politeness. Neither man spoke until the food was gone and Saitō had moved the trays back to where he'd gotten them.

"How are you feeling?" Amagiri asked as soon as Saitō had returned.

"My bruises are almost healed. I will take your advice and eat more until I am fit; I can purchase supplies to make up the difference."

"And are things well with Yukimura-sama?"

"Yes."

Saitō sensed his mentor consider the monosyllable, turning it this way and that like a tangible object.

"I see." Amagiri let out a soft breath. "You are in a difficult position. More than you know, really. Neither you nor Yukimura-sama has been raised among Oni – at least, not in a material way. She had her – let us say guardian – with her, but he made a point of not speaking of anything connected to the Oni. So, you have both been raised as humans – have, effectively, been human – but now you aren't. And Oni, by and large, are more family-oriented, more close physically and emotionally, than humans."

Saitō listened patiently. He had the impression that Kyūjyū-san was going to help him understand some of the things he needed to know about working things out with Yukimura.

"Oni have their ranges of personalities just like humans, of course. And every family is a little different too. However, speaking very generally, Oni touch more, are more protective of each other and form stronger bonds between mates. This likely derives from the fact that it is essentially impossible not to be aware of others, especially other Oni.

"I find it very puzzling, in all honesty, that you have so many of the fundamental characteristics of an Oni. I deplore that Hijikata-san has misused your abilities – no, let me finish – but arguably neither of you has taken actions for immediate personal profit in the most ordinary sense of human wealth and power. Whether I agree or disagree, the reasoning behind your vice commander's orders is very little different from Kazama-sama's in doing his utmost to separate humans and Oni, and even in his professed disregard for human life."

Amagiri paused, reviewing what he had said and examining his protégé – and cousin – with some care. How did you counsel a restrained man not to be so restrained while still warning of the pitfalls?

"Hajime-kun, I was concerned, when I first saw you with Yukimura-sama, that you both needed time to sort out your feelings from your physical reactions to each other. Whether or not I was right, I never meant you to worry so much about this. I simply had not had time to work through my own impressions of the last few days. Now that I have, I would offer you the same advice as Kimigiku-san: trust yourself more with Yukimura-sama. Remember, you can tell how she feels and she can tell how you feel, as long as you are both reasonably open; humans don't have that option. Be respectful of each other but not afraid."

Saitō tried to set aside the discomfort. It wasn't easy… He was still trying to sort out so many things. He could sense that his relationship with Amagiri was similar to but different from his relationship with the Vice Commander. That made sense, in fact. One was based on accepted kinship and a kind of trial by fire, and the other on profound admiration for and loyalty to first a senior and now a commanding officer. Both bonds were based on earned respect.

"Kyūjyū-san, there are things that I cannot share with Yukimura…" he said, finally, his voice so soft that it was a good thing Amagiri's hearing was sharp. "Secrets I must keep… Things about myself that I want to be able to tell her myself… when I am ready to tell her. How can I be open? She is open because she has nothing to hide. She is not a killer. She is not a warrior. She is good and brave and very innocent. What on earth am I going to do?"

He felt somehow reckless, but how could he ask the right questions otherwise?

"I want to touch her and be close to her to the point that I lose focus. That has never happened before – never. Aside from any question of… of doing something not right, how can I be close to her without her finding out what she shouldn't?"

Amagiri sighed. Then he shook his head, not in a negative way, but more as if reminding himself that he had expected this and it wasn't the end of the world – by a very long way.

"You are very good at not sharing what you don't want to share. Whether you believe it or not. So, if there are things she learned from you recently, it's probably because some part of you wanted to share them. In which case you'll have to choose between protecting yourself and having a strong relationship with Yukimura-sama. The real secrets, the ones that you worry will actively endanger her, you will keep from her. I really believe that. And eventually – well, you'll have to hope that eventually you don't need to keep secrets. Because that is more or less impossible in a serious, intimate relationship between full Oni."

Amagiri actually gave Saitō a half-smile.

"It's going to be complicated, for both of you. The best thing, from your point of view, would be to have Yukimura-sama accepted as a member of the Shinsengumi – then keeping secrets would be less of a problem. Alternately, you could leave the Shinsengumi and take up her and your duties as Oni. But if I were you, I'd just make the best of things right now and keep your plans and expectations flexible. And remember: Yukimura-sama is entitled to make her own choices too, within what is reasonable."

"I do remember that. Will Kazama Chikage?"

"He has said he will. And now, Hajime-kun… let's see if you can still shift to your Oni form."

Saitō didn't even blink at the change in subject. On the whole, it was welcome. He closed his eyes and focussed. He remembered his appearance, although it wasn't easy. Easier to remember was the feeling of power – of strength and speed and fluid movement.

It took several minutes and he was sweating when he was done, but he got there. A little bigger, a little heavier, a little paler; and two slightly curving horns among the silky white hair of the long bangs that framed his face. Not bad. And Yukimura hadn't minded. Although Hijikata-san had commented about the horns. Still, he had managed it on his own.

His teacher rose, stretching and also changing form. It was fluid and took maybe two heartbeats. Saitō had to smile. He'd get there. This was just the start of things.

Without words they took up fighting stances and bowed, Saitō bowing lower as appropriate. Then they began.

END

A/Note: I assume that at this point you have already read, but will add that reviews are very welcome and comments too!

- ImpracticalOni