Author's Note:
With great power comes great responsibility - and great pain, apparently. Poor Saitou!
Thank you for reviews to
Scintilla of Myself(yes, Kimigiku is a pureblood Oni; she can definitely transform :) (also, yes, Saitou/Chizuru's relationship is suddenly progressing awfully fast - Saitou agrees with you - and you're exactly right: that's deliberate/the point)
Anon (I'm very glad you enjoyed the scene in the garden; it was a great pleasure to write... and the poor guy needed something nice to hold onto for the Trial of Mind)
nakigaoyuu (hmmm, Hijikata may be descended from the main line of the Yukishima as well as the existing junior line... so is he the heir to the Lord of the Northern Clans?)
Shell1331 (thank you for taking the time for your reviews, it was great!... Also I'm pleased (?) that you noticed the fanservice component. Heh. ;)
StariChanx (your review won't post in FanFic right now sadly, but I got to read some by email. I'm glad that you and other reviewers have been supportive of my vision for Kimigiku in this fic - it truly is a tragedy for her, given the times and the society, not to mention racial survival)
ALSO: The ice bucket scene... LOL. Sometimes these things just write themselves!
Thank you to all my readers, both those who have stuck with me so far and those who joined in later (even though it's long enough to be a bit daunting now).
\(^u^)~
Chapter 55 – The Trial of Mind
[I]
Chizuru was not surprised to find Osen-chan, Haru-chan and Kimigiku-san curled up in the princess' personal sitting room. The blond girl was curled up against several pillows and half-asleep, but obviously hadn't been able to go to bed with so much going on. Osen-chan and Kimigiku were a little more awake, and both looked up with interest when Chizuru entered.
"So? Did he propose?! He must have – you're so happy!" Sen leaped up and crushed Chizuru in a tight hug. "That's wonderful!"
"Oh, um… yes… Yes, he did ask and I am happy!" Chizuru beamed at her cousin and at the shinobi behind her.
Haru-chan sat up, blinking.
"Congratulations, Chizuru-chan. I am reluctant to admit it… but you do seem to have a true bond. I hope you are very happy." She tried to smile, but her face cracked into an involuntary yawn.
"I will walk you to your room, Haru-chan," said Kimigiku in a voice that brooked no disobedience. "Congratulations, Chizuru-sama. I'll be back shortly, Princess."
Kimigiku helped Chiharu to her feet and half-carried her, unprotesting, out of the room.
Sen took her cousin's hand and sat her down.
"Oh… it's just so romantic! Was he very formal? He always looks formal and speaks in such a precise way… Or did he sweep you into his arms? Did he kiss you? Oh – of course he did! Tell me everything, please! Oh, and you've only known him six or seven months!"
Chizuru's mouth opened once or twice, but she finally just waited until Sen stopped.
"It was very romantic, Osen-chan… He was so kind…" Chizuru turned a little pink, thinking about it. "And he told me that he l-loves me." She added the last part quietly and a little shyly.
Sen sighed in happy contentment. She was a little envious, but far too generous-hearted to deny happiness to anyone, especially those she cared about. "It's just perfect. And after all, there are still many arranged marriages among humans where the girl doesn't know her husband-to-be at all until he has been selected for her. But that's rather nonsensical, don't you think?"
Chizuru felt uncomfortable. They'd known each other for about seven months, but they'd only been a couple – officially – for less than a week. It was all so rushed and at the same time she felt perfectly happy about her choice. She was more worried about Saitō. Hajime. Who will be my husband. For some reason, the thought made her cheeks flame up. It was something in what he had said: the right to be together, the right to protect her, the right to have her – if she would have him. She had seen his eyes become more intent, heard his breath and heartbeat quicken, felt his desire in the way her held her, kissed her, and pressed his body against hers.
Men – and women too – spoke of these things, she had heard them, but it had been rare that she'd heard anything useful or to the point. Her father had never spoken to her of anything other than behaving with modesty and a regard to her reputation as a good daughter. She had hoped that Kimigiku-san would have some practical advice – but then, if she preferred women as lovers, maybe she wouldn't know? On the other hand, the lovely geiko probably knew more than Chizuru, who had only ever overheard snatches of conversation, much of which hadn't made sense to her.
She was startled out of her reverie by Osen-chan's silvery gurgle of laughter.
"You're thinking about him aren't you? Oh! And what would a virtuous girl like you know to make her blush so much?!"
Chizuru just waved her hand in front of her in denial, although the blush gave her away completely. She had a strong desire to flee from the teasing. Kimigiku came back at that moment, and her eyebrows arched a little at Chizuru's red countenance and Sen's giggling.
"Well, we have a few serious things to discuss, but perhaps you'd let me in on the joke?"
"Gomen, Kimigiku, but Chizuru-chan just completely lost track of the conversation, and I think that she must be thinking of Saitō-san, don't you?"
"Most likely," said the shinobi calmly. "And no reason why she shouldn't. Sen-hime, are you ready to go back downstairs now that Haru-chan is settled? I have some concerns about Saitō-san's Trial."
"Why?" asked Chizuru, immediately.
Kimigiku shot a quelling glance at Sen, but the younger woman already seemed serious again. Chizuru wondered why her cousin's spirits and behaviour seemed so uneven this evening – and then reminded herself that Osen-chan was dealing with a great deal, including unwelcome news about her mother's death and the possible effect on herself.
"The Trial of Mind is always the third Trial," Kimigiku told Chizuru. "But it is best undertaken as soon as possible, because much of the Trial comes from the memories of fear and pain remembered. The seeker who wishes to pass the Trial must throw those thoughts off and resist the despair that often comes with them. It is an effective test and often requires using abilities from the first two tests. However, the more a person has survived, consciously or unconsciously, the worse it is and the higher the chance of mental damage."
"But—"
Kimigiku ignored Chizuru's interruption.
"Even worse is when the Trial of Mind is undertaken by a clan head or one who is responsible at a fundamental level for the well-being of others. In that case, it is possible that the memories of the clan – even into the past – will come into play."
"It will be alright, Chizuru-chan, it will," said Sen forcefully to Chizuru, who was now as pale as she had been red before.
"Amagiri-san has a very high regard for your young captain," Kimigiku told Chizuru, focussing her violet eyes on Chizuru's wide brown ones. "He will not overestimate him or underestimate the danger. And it is well that Hijikata-san is there. He will be an anchor; Saitō-san will respond to habitual duty as well as anything else."
"I should be there!" cried Chizuru. "He said that I should not go, that it would be difficult to concentrate. But I pulled him through the first test – surely I can help him now?!"
"Īe, Chizuru-sama." Kimigiku sat opposite Chizuru among the cushions. "The fewer burdens he carries with him into this test the better. He already has too great a bond with you for perfect safety. If you are not there it will make it more difficult for the Soul magic to find you and your memories and your clan memories."
"It's why Saitō-san must assay this Trial first," said Sen, in the calm, rather sad voice that always made her sound older than she was. "Once he passes this Trial, he can be taught to close himself off to you – as Amagiri will do with Saitō-san soon. Then he can help you with your Trial without putting both of you in danger."
"But he's in danger," Chizuru said stubbornly. "What can I do to help?"
"Guard your thoughts. We are going to place a ward over you. Amagiri will be placing one over the practice room downstairs soon."
"It would better if Harada-san wasn't here, in some ways, but we'll hope that the wards will be sufficient."
"What about Kichirō-kun?" Sen asked Kimigiku suddenly.
They stared at each other. They had forgotten that the fifteen-year-old was about to assay his Trial of Mind, but hadn't yet. The tug from Saitō's Trial could be a problem.
"You and I and Chizuru-chan will guard Harada-san and Kirō-kun," Sen mused.
"It's a pity that Haru-chan tired herself so badly… but I'm still amazed at what she did. Yes, Princess, your plan makes the most sense. I'll carry him down if you'll make sure he doesn't wake. No – I suppose the better choice is just to use his room."
"Agreed. Come on Chizuru-chan, let's go get Harada-san and let him know what's going on. I shouldn't have forgotten about Kirō-kun…"
Chizuru cleared her throat.
"Chiharu-chan would be able to help you if she weren't so exhausted?"
"Yes," replied Sen, a little surprised. "Her Soul magic is very good, and her Mind magic is better than mine – it's a common trait for the Kazama to have highly developed coercive Gifts."
"Then… why not let me heal Chiharu-chan? I think I can do it better now. Without completely falling over myself, I mean. And I really was helping her earlier."
The other two women frowned pensively at Chizuru, who still seemed both determined and quite calm.
"It would help a great deal…" Sen said reluctantly.
"It would allow me to help Amagiri in his task," noted Kimigiku.
"Alright, Chizuru-chan," Sen decided. "You have a deal. Besides, the Eastern Clans were always famed for endurance over all else. Let's see if a Lady of the Western Clans can benefit shall we?"
"Hai! And… I'd like my working clothes back, please."
They didn't pause to argue with her. In just a few minutes, Chizuru was once again in her dark grey hakama; the pale blue hakamashita tucked neatly into the tied waist and stiffened back panel of the pleated trousers. Chizuru put her kodachi through the belt and felt ready to do her best.
[II]
Amagiri and Saitō had been discussing and practising key basic exercises related to the Gifts of Mind. Hijikata, interested, had observed closely. Although Hijikata was wearing his usual purple and grey, Amagiri and Saitō were both in dark hakama and stripped to the waist. Amagiri had said something about sparing their better clothes.
Apparently, Saitō had a tremendous ability to block unwanted intrusion. Also, his highly developed ability to conceal his ki, while primarily a Gift of Soul, had elements of basic Mind magic. In effect, as Sen-hime had explained before, he was perfectly suited for defense.
"Your coercion ability is unlikely to be anywhere close to as strong," Amagiri was saying, "since it is an offense-oriented Gift of Mind. However, when you develop the more complex aspects of the Gifts, you will be able to use your strong Gift of Soul to reinforce it. Of course, that means that you are more powerful against Oni, rather than humans."
The red-haired Oni turned to Hijikata.
"Before we begin, I will ward this room. I expect that Kimigiku-san will come to confer shortly. It has no doubt occurred to her, as it has to me, that we will need to shield several people from this Trial. Kichirō-kun for one, as he is close to undergoing the Trial himself. Also Yukimura-sama. There is no guarantee that she won't get drawn into this anyway, but I'm sure that Sen-hime will do her best to prevent that."
Hijikata considered this.
"Are Harada and I at risk as well, then?"
"I don't know," said Amagiri slowly. "If you are, then Harada-san is more at risk than you are, as his mind, soul and body are more Oni than yours. It is such an… unusual… transformation however, that I'm not sure. I will guard you as best I can. But my guess is that you will be of help to me rather than the reverse. If Saitō does see the visions – the "living memories", as we call them – then you may be able to recall him to his senses."
The Vice Commander looked briefly at Saitō, who gazed impassively back through golden eyes, and then responded to Amagiri:
"I will do as you suggest – in this matter. What do you advise if I am affected?"
"You will likely be affected to some degree. If you are affected but not overcome, then at least stay and witness; it will be useful for you. If you are affected and overcome yourself, then it will depend very much on the entire situation. But it is quite possible that Kimigiku-san will be here."
Hijikata and Saitō both registered surprise.
"I thought she would be guarding Yukimura," said Saitō.
"It will depend on whether Chiharu-sama is able to assist with Kichirō-kun."
"You never explained what it was that she had done to tire her," said Hijikata, politely, but with a touch of frost in his voice. "But Oni or not, she looked out on her feet when she went up to bed."
Saitō was frowning a little. As before, he was noticing the slight, but noticeable decrease in his control in this form. His first instinct was to protect Chizuru. The possessiveness he felt for her in this form worried him a little. In order to keep his mind calm, he closed his eyes to sort out the somewhat turbulent feelings. He recognized, reviewed and accepted that while they were not yet married in human terms, his Oni self considered Chizuru to be his mate. He thought that was odd, since Sen-hime had yet to verify the bloodlines and ratify the match, but it was true.
On the whole, he decided, I'd like to get this over with.
Patience, Hajime-kun. Kimigiku-san is coming.
Saitō was startled to get a response, but it reminded him to go back to shielding his thoughts.
Gomenasai, Kyūju-san.
A few minutes later, Kimigiku entered the room. Bows were exchanged with a certain formality that ordinarily would have either irked or amused Hijikata; but in this setting formality seemed appropriate.
"Amagiri-san. Yukimura-sama has revived Kazama-sama. Yukimura-sama is quite well," she added, with a sharp look at Saitō who had not contained an involuntary twitch, "and I note that this was her own idea. We all agreed that there was less risk if Kazama-sama were able to intervene."
Amagiri nodded in agreement.
"To summarize," Kimigiku finished, somewhat less formally, "Chizuru-sama, Haru-chan, Harada-san and Sen-hime are all in Kichirō's room. We have warded it."
"Then all is in order," Amagiri said. "Thank you for joining us. I have explained everything but the goal to Hijikata-san and Saitō. Will you ward this room for me while I do so?"
Kimigiku inclined her head and began to create the ward – Saitō could sense it easily, Hijikata much less so, but he knew something was there.
"The goal then, is to regain full control over your mind. I will cast the spell, which is a complex combination of Soul and Mind magic in itself. Depending on the nature of the living memories that are conjured, we may or may not see what you are seeing. I believe that what you will see will be strong enough that we will see the challenge along with you. My role is to preserve your sanity. I am also able to break the spell. However, if I do, for whatever reason, then you will fail the Trial. Kimigiku's role – and the Vice Commander's, if he is able – is to respond to questions and to try to tell you what things are real and what things are not. Ultimately, you will pass the test once you can walk to the door and pass through it without hindrance. That means the magic itself deems you to have overcome the Trial. Do you understand?"
"Aa. I must overcome whatever visions trouble me and pass through the door out into the hall."
Amagiri looked at Kimigiku, who nodded and seated herself beside Hijikata. The ward was apparently complete. Hijikata crossed his arms, at once curious and concerned. He was risking Saitō and possibility himself and Harada in this endeavour. It wasn't clear to him whether he had the right to take that risk, especially with the unrest in the city and in the country generally. However, it was done and he didn't really regret it.
"Are you prepared, Saitō?" Are you prepared, Hajime-kun? Remember, I am your kin. I will guard you to the best of my ability, as before. Hijikata-san is your kin. He will stand by you. He is protecting your best interests even now.
Saitō bowed to his mentor and to the observers. He was ready.
Amagiri raised his hand as before, during the Trial of Body, and in a moment, Saitō's body was outlined in white flames. He had closed his eyes, but now they flew open, as the flames suddenly coalesced into a burning crown about his head before sinking down into his hair and skin and disappearing.
To the observers, his body suddenly went rigid. Then sweat began to trickle down his face. A few seconds later, he inflicted a deep wound on himself, a jagged, raking gash across his right shoulder, carved by his own short claws. His mouth was wide in a soundless scream, but the emotions on his contorted face, and that assailed the senses of the observers, were shock and anger, not fear. Then he was on his feet in a classic defensive pose, as if he carried swords. But still they couldn't see or hear anything.
Hijikata preserved his calm with an effort, since neither Amagiri nor Kimigiku had moved. Saitō's deep gashes were healing extremely quickly, he realized. Then he saw both corded, muscled arms flung up and out, as if pushing something away and all hell broke loose.
"Kazama you goddamn, goat-fucking bastard! You lying, conniving traitor!"
Saitō was screaming, eyes wild. Now the audience felt deep, terrible grief.
The room had become a field – a field in a wide valley bordered by tree-covered hills. There was deep, black smoke rolling from every house and barn within sight, and corpses littered the ground. That wasn't the problem, though. The problem was that Saitō's image now flickered between his own Oni form and a very similar Oni man streaked with blood and covered in gashes. The "image" was wielding a sword in each hand, and was being backed toward a stone wall by a bigger man with flowing yellow hair and red eyes, accompanied by four other men, obviously made up of Kazama and Amagiri retainers, judging by their appearances.
"Does it take five of you to kill children, Lord of the West?! Are you so frightened, you murdering thugs, that you can only fight me at these odds! You have lost all honour, you madman Kazama, to bring humans to burn and loot and kill your own kind! How could you?!"
The blond man blocked an invisible blow and staggered slightly – the image kept flickering weirdly between Saitō and his (presumably) distant kinsman. None of the assailants had changed to Oni form. Suddenly, Amagiri spoke, although Saitō didn't appear to hear him.
"See what they did! The Sakurai Lord had to change to have a hope of escaping, but with such odds they kept their human forms so that their human allies would not know they were Oni. What a hideous betrayal… and such dishonour…"
Anger and something almost like despair rang in Amagiri's voice.
"Three hundred years ago," said Kimigiku, calmly.
"Three hundred years ago," Hijikata echoed, surprisingly just as calm.
For a moment Saitō's form steadied and the other images thinned, but then he gasped and dropped to one knee, as a hole – a gaping sword wound – appeared in his right shoulder, just over the remnants of the previous wound. His chest – Saitō's chest – ran with blood.
"But that can't be real," said Hijikata, bewildered. "There isn't really an attacker, right?"
"For Saitō – or rather, Sakurai-sama – the battle is very real. For an Oni in this Trial, the stronger the mind, the stronger the images. Saitō's current, living body is bleeding."
"Then how the hell can you be so calm?!"
"Because Amagiri can perceive more than we can," replied Kimigiku quietly. "He can see into Saitō-san's mind. He knows that your captain is fighting off the living memory."
"Watch!" commanded Amagiri, sharply.
At that moment, the attackers converged on the badly injured man. But then it wasn't Sakurai-sama that they faced, it was an enraged Saitō, carrying his own katana and using his left hand. Suddenly the wound – which was closing again – wasn't so crippling, since the wielder was using his other hand and arm for power. The katana was driven the full length of its nearly three foot blade into the attacking Kazama lord's heart.
"Die, dishonourable one! And may none of your line ever die old or among family for what you have done today! I curse you! I curse you!"
"Saitō! Come back!" That was Kimigiku, her voice stern. Saitō's eyelids flickered, but he was slowly sinking to his knees, as the four remaining Oni attacked him.
"Saitō! Look to me!" Hijikata's voice, sharp as a whip-crack, made the injured man look up. "They are not real! They died long ago. Who am I, captain?!"
"Vice Commander Hijikata Toshizō of the Shinsengumi! … Oh."
"Who are you?" Hijikata pressed.
"... I am… Third Division Captain Saitō Hajime of the Shinsengumi, sir!"
The images faded abruptly, leaving Saitō, bleeding and weaponless and on his knees with tears running down his face. Hijikata glanced quickly at Amagiri, who shook his head.
"No. Not yet."
And sure enough, just as the lightest of the wounds closed, the room was once again engulfed in illusion.
A/Note: Yes, a cliff-hanger! Thank you for reading and see you next time! All reviews and comments much appreciated. :)