Author's Note:

The reviews are finally posting again as of this afternoon. I'd like to apologize to those I haven't written back to yet - I appreciated everything people wrote about the last chapter and it was incredibly encouraging. You helped me get this chapter written despite a few long days at work and general fatigue. I will get back to everyone soon though!

To NyaPowa: thank you for the cookies. :) I still have a few "goodies" tucked away for your green/blue/teal-eyed boys.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

Thank you to all for reading and again, all reviews are much appreciated. You are also welcome to send me a PM if you prefer to write privately.

~ImpracticalOni

NOTE: I generally try to avoid common triggers, but there is a mention of attempted rape early in this chapter.

Quote:

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

- Lao Tzu

Chapter 56 – The Trial of Mind, Part II

This time Saitō remained in his own form, but the expression on his face was anguished. Blood still trickled down his bare chest from several gashes, but the wounds were closing quickly and he didn't seem to notice. His eyes were fixed on two girls, one a young teenager and the other no more than three or four. The dark blue eyes and black hair of the Sakurai were unmistakeable.

Sister. Daughter. Those I must protect… Oh gods, they're already dead…

Although he was holding his katana again, Saitō dropped to his knees, eyes wide and tears falling. It was an eerie sight for the observers, because they could see what he saw, and it seemed inconceivable that that Saitō Hajime, Captain of the Third Division, wouldn't intervene.

The older girl was facing four heavily armed men, who appeared to be human. They bore the badges of some lord, but the crest was unfamiliar to Hijikata. The samurai were grim-faced and wary, but the leader eyed the two girls with some interest.

"I swear to you, honourable sir, we are human, forced to serve… Please, please don't hurt us. Please sir, my sister is just a child." The girl lowered her head, but Saitō saw the flash of anger and desperation mingled in her eyes.

"We were told to leave no witnesses," grumbled a man standing just behind the leader. "We should kill them and be done with it."

"Waste of a pretty girl," said the first one.

"More trouble than it's worth."

The teenager dropped to her knees. "Please sirs, we're just human, please… we won't say anything… just don't hurt us. Please…"

Saitō felt the fury rising in her, felt her control slipping. The eyes lowered so submissively to the floor were hazing toward gold. Chieko-chan… you are valiant as well as wise. Be brave little sister, be brave.

He knew what she was doing. She was trying not to change form, trying to channel every bit of coercion toward the man in front of her, to convince him that they were human, not Oni. So that her niece would be spared the catastrophe. The rest were dead – her nephews, her brothers, her mother and sister-in-law, slowed by some kind of soporific and cut down by overwhelming numbers. But she had seen that the humans hesitated to cut down women unless they were in Oni form.

Sakurai Chieko, warrior daughter of a warrior clan, fourteen years old and newly past her Trials, bent every effort to the survival of her brother's youngest child and only daughter, now Heir to the Sakurai. Chieko didn't change form, which might have let her escape – although there was no certainty of that, against so many competent opponents, even humans. As soon as she changed form, she would be an obvious target.

And so, almost three hundred years before Saitō Hajime was born, his ancestress—his sister—won her desperate battle. She died, still in human form, struggling with the man who tried to rape her; she turned the point of his knife against her own heart and made sure it went home with her more-than-human strength. But that man took the youngest of the Sakurai home with him after the massacre and handed the little "human" girl over to his young wife as a servant. He never knew why he had done such a strange thing, and neither did his comrades, because he was neither a kind nor a compassionate man and the orders of their overlord had been clear. However, none of those four men ever spoke of the two black-haired, blue-eyed girls, and the Sakurai vanished from sight for three centuries.

Saitō Hajime knelt unmoving, as screams – whose, he wasn't sure – echoed in his mind. He was conscious of a strong desire to hurt, to kill, to avenge… Still, like Sakurai Chieko before him, never to be forgotten, he bent all of his attention on the task before him. She had saved her clan by doing her duty in the face of humiliation and overwhelming odds. A man would have thrown his life away uselessly, Saitō thought.

Chizuru, dear one, we won't forget her… she has gone too long unwept and unhonoured.

Much to his surprise, Saitō got an answer to his fervent plea.

I will remember her with you, always. Chieko will be a lovely name for our daughter.

Saitō didn't quite recognize the second, more tentative mental voice.

I'll remember her too, Saitō. Okay?

Harada? Saitō was completely taken aback.

Yeah… The spearman was uncharacteristically sober. Damn…

Then the voices faded, and so did the images.

"How much more does he have to take?" Hijikata demanded of Amagiri.

The big Oni seemed to be swaying slightly, and despite the man's earlier instructions, Hijikata went over and put a hand on one shoulder.

"Amagiri-san – how much more?"

Dulled, sky-blue eyes turned toward him. "I don't know. These are not even his personal memories yet. As I said… we try to avoid this with clan heads. I've never personally undertaken such a thing myself or even seen it done."

"Gods. Alright. How are you – can you get through this? Seems to me that you've taken on a lot the past few days."

Amagiri gave him a slight, rueful smile.

"Aa. Too much, you think? I'll cope. But… thank you for your concern, Hijikata-san."

"Hnh. Won't do us poor part-Oni much good, or Saitō, if you fall apart, will it?" Hijikata returned to his seat, his eyes flicking thoughtfully from Saitō to Amagiri.

Strangely, Saitō seemed calmer than he had since the beginning. He was still kneeling, and his eyes were closed again, but the wounds had all healed now. The dark red and brown of the dried blood contrasted with the unusually pale skin of his Oni form. Amagiri looked exhausted. Hijikata was beginning to think that knocking the man out for his own good might have some merit… once Saitō was through this godsforsaken Trial.

Hijikata glanced at Kimigiku beside him, wondering what she thought of all this. She had been silent throughout, but he could see the clear tracks of tears running down her face. Aware of his gaze she turned to look at him.

"These wounds run deep," she said quietly. "We have so few families left, and we must have peace. I do not think that your Saitō-san will easily let go of this grievance do you? I still hate her, but I can see a little, now, of what—" Kimigiku swallowed, and quickly blotted the tears, "—of what Suzuka-gozen must have been thinking. You know, she told Haru-chan that the three of them – Chiharu-sama, Chizuru-sama and Sen-hime – would have to be the ones to untangle many things and more than one tragedy."

The Shinsengumi Vice Commander nodded slowly.

"There is some sense in that, maybe. Of them all, I think I pity Chiharu-sama the most, though."

Kimigiku frowned down at her hands. "… You see that, do you? Yes, so do I, even though I don't forget that my Princess is paying for Suzuka-gozen's existence with her own life. And Chizuru-sama has lost all her family, either to murder or to madness."

"Well, I don't think anyone has come out of this whole, exactly, Kimigiku-san."

"No… And I was just thinking: no Kazama clan head that I can think of has ever lived into his fifties. It's strange, now that I consider it."

Hijikata gave her a strange look. "What are you – oh, you're referring to the curse that Saitō – or rather, Sakurai-sama – placed on the Kazama clan leader?"

"Yes."

"What is the life-span of an Oni? Is it the same as a human?"

"A little more," Kimigiku answered slowly, as though still thinking about something else, "although from our history it used to be much longer. In the last few generations, I would say that one hundred and fifty is approximately the life expectancy."

"That's sounds quite long to me," Hijikata said, surprised.

Before Kimigiku could respond, there was an exclamation from Saitō, who was suddenly on his feet, a bloody katana again in his left hand.

"No! Not this!"

A body lay at Saitō's feet, blood pooling out from around it. As grim as it was, it appeared to be very little compared to the earlier scenes of murder and terror. Why was Saitō so concerned, then?

The scene played itself out. The kin of the dead man had attacked Saitō, despite knowing that it was their relative who had proposed a duel to the death with the "devil child". Saitō had defended himself, injuring a few of them, but escaping virtually unharmed himself. He had run back to his home to tell his father what had happened, and his father had been furious – with him. Yamaguchi-san had called his youngest son a disgrace who had brought bad luck and dishonour on the family and he had flung the unwanted teenager from the house.

That night, Saitō had snuck back into the house for more clothes. It was a measure of his distress and anger that he didn't immediately noticed that his older brother was waiting for him, but even then he hadn't been much worried. He had failed to make allowance for all the jealousy and resentment of an older brother who was never as strong or as fast and who adored his father and revered the family name. He had thought his older brother still cared for him as family, when in fact the man felt something closer to hatred.

"You come like a thief, Hajime," his brother had mocked, while the teenager packed clothes and a few odds and ends into a cloth roll. "You really are the demon-spawn everyone says you are! But if you're going to come like a thief, then I suggest that you should hang like one!"

Somehow, his brother had gotten a length of silk-wrapped wire around his neck while he was fastening his makeshift bag, and he almost died within the first few seconds. Those in the room felt, although at a distance, the agonizing fear and disbelief of a child betrayed by an older sibling together with the physical nightmare of suffocation. The room – the real one – dimmed almost to blackness, or appeared to, and there was a moment of real, mortal terror. The observers, fighting to keep disengaged from the roiling emotions of the principals, watched as Saitō struggled with his assailant. Then, quite suddenly, the darkness vanished and the oppressive lack of air disappeared.

Saitō was curled into a tight ball on the floor, a deep, bleeding gouge encircling his neck. He was gasping for air, and both hands were bloodied, but it was clear that the trauma was more than just physical. His teeth were tightly clenched, as though he were afraid of saying anything that might add to his vulnerability and humiliation. Hijikata suddenly realized that Saitō was in his human form, as though he'd been unable to relive that last scene as an Oni.

To Hijikata's surprise, Amagiri turned abruptly to Kimigiku.

"It is done. Drop the ward and fetch Yukimura-sama as quickly as you can."

The shinobi was gone before the last word.

"Hijikata-san, please look to Saitō until Yukimura-sama is here. The Trial is complete, but there is one last thing to prepare."

"I will, but... didn't Saitō need to leave the room in order to pass the Trial?"

"Normally, yes. That action would automatically shut down the spell and complete the Trial. But occasionally the spell exhausts itself in conjuring up the living memories. In which case survival to the end of those memories is all that is needed." Amagiri closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, obviously moving on to his next task - whatever that was.

Hijikata sat down beside Saitō and started to speak quietly to him. Normally, he would have worried about treating the deep cut around the man's neck, but it was already starting to close – although much more slowly than the earlier wounds, he noticed.

"Saitō, Amagiri says that you're done – you've passed the Trial of Mind. Congratulations. Also, don't die on me now – I'd be really pissed off with you."

Saitō uncurled a little and turned his head slightly toward Hijikata. His face was bruised and deathly pale.

"Vice… Commander…?" His voice was a painful croak.

"Well, you won't be talking easily for a while yet – that could take a whole three, maybe four minutes to heal. Of course, even if you can't speak for a few days I'm not sure that we could tell the difference…"

Saitō's body relaxed further and his eyes opened slightly. They were a gleaming golden colour.

Hijikata held his eyes. "I'm exaggerating. These days you seem more talkative, to be honest. You might want to work on getting hurt less, though. Mind you—" he tilted his head, listening, "—you seem to use it as an excuse to cuddle with your, ah, intended."

Chizuru darted into the room, face drawn. Hijikata couldn't fathom how she had gotten there so quickly. With a cry, she threw herself down beside Saitō and took his hands, murmuring words that alternated between endearments and anxiety. She was in Oni form, Hijikata noticed, surprised once again by how different she looked. The Vice Commander imagined himself with golden eyes and white hair and then just shook his head. He had enough problems right now without worrying about how he'd look as an Oni. His mind seemed to imagine strange things when he was especially tired or stressed.

As if echoing his thoughts, in a rather twisted way, Saitō suddenly shifted back to full Oni form and doubled up in pain. He wrenched his hands from Chizuru's – involuntarily, it was clear – and pressed them to his forehead. Chizuru took his face in her hands.

"Look at me, Hajime," she murmured, so softly that normally only Saitō could have heard. Hijikata, long inured to the vagaries and occasional confessions of the drunk, just classified it under the same general heading of things to pretend to ignore.

Saitō lowered his hands and obediently looked into Chizuru's eyes. The sharp tips of a second set of horns were visible on his forehead under sweat-soaked white hair. Where they broke the skin there was blood and the area looked swollen and hot. After a moment, Chizuru lowered her hands and Saitō sat up, his eyes still intent on Chizuru's, his teeth set. Not too much later, he was kneeling calmly, his face impassive and his shoulders and back straight but not rigid. It was an impressive display of control, though Hijikata wasn't altogether sure whose.

"Hijikata-san?" Harada had come in with Kimigiku and Sen-him and was sitting nearby. He wore the same strained expression that Hijikata imagined that they all had.

"He'll be fine." I hope, he added silently to himself. "How are you?" He seemed to be asking that question a lot lately.

"I'm good. Osen-chan and I decided to come along with Kimigiku-san to see how Saitō was doing. Haru-chan and Kirō-kun are still in his room. It was a little tense for a while, but the kid's tough and I think his sister blocked almost everything that came through Sen-hime's ward."

Hijikata raised his eyebrows at his Tenth Division Captain. "I take it you've been making friends?"

"Under the circumstances, it seemed pointless to stand on protocol, Vice Commander," murmured Sen, her eyes wide and guileless.

"Of course," Hijikata agreed mechanically. Osen-chan and Haru-chan indeed!

Eventually, Hijikata left Saitō's side. He wanted to know what was next – hopefully not much – and how soon they could all go home. As it were. Even as he rose, he sensed a presence in the doorway. Chiharu-sama knelt there in a simple yukata, her hair only loosely pinned up at the sides of her head.

"Sen-him called me," she explained to Hijikata, slightly defensively. He could tell that she was upset but hiding it well.

Sen waved Chiharu over to where she and Harada and Kimigiku were sitting, and Hijikata returned with her.

"I was thinking that once we've confirmed Saitō-san's transformation, we should allow him the opportunity to get dressed before going on with the ceremony."

"Ceremony?" asked Hijikata. He felt her nerves twitch. Now what? He quelled his irritation with an effort.

"Yes. I wasn't sure Amagiri intended to do it tonight but it's obvious to me that he's preparing for it to be done. The ceremony will confirm Saitō-san's bloodlines – although I'd say that a mere formality now – and I will confirm him as head of his clan. Normally, of course, Chizuru-chan would conduct part of the ceremony, as Lady of the Eastern Clans, but she hasn't completed her last Trial yet."

"May the gods help her," muttered Hijikata, entirely sincerely.

"And Saitō-san," said Sen-hime firmly. "We'll wait until he is more fully established in his powers – and recovered from tonight, of course. The Gift given to all Sakurai clan heads in defense of their Lady was the ability to assume a significant amount of her burden – pain or fatigue or injury, generally – at any time. This allowed the Yukimura leaders to focus fully on their healing arts and other specialized Gifts, which according to legend could be quite formidable."

"But for our purposes," said Hijikata, thoughtfully, "it means that Saitō can directly help Yukimura with her final Trial, which I'm guessing won't be easy based on what I've seen tonight." Even as he said the words he asked himself: "our" purposes? Since when did Yukimura's final Trial as an Oni become one of my goals? Shit.

"Right. And in any event it's helpful to have so many different clans represented here for this, especially the Kazama clan and the Amagiri clan."

Chiharu-sama was exhausted – they all were – and no doubt under a great deal of strain, but she nodded politely.

"The ceremonies regarding the bloodlines and the confirmation as clan head do not need to be long, Hijikata-san," she said in her calm, polite way. "At least, not from what I remember." She stopped there, since the only such ceremonies she would have attended would have been when her father died and her brother, Kazama Chikage-sama, was named clan head.

"Having Kichirō at the ceremonies would be ideal," Sen-hime continued, as Chiharu faltered, "but we will have to see if Saitō-san will agree to his presence."

"Because he is a Kazama?" Hijikata asked curiously.

"Well… no, not so much that…" Sen looked uncomfortable.

"My brother Kichirō," said Chiharu with a tiny sigh, "looks almost exactly like my brother Chikage-sama. And they both look very much like our ancestors. So… given tonight's revelations… and the fact that Saitō-san may still be angry with my brother for his, ah, treatment of Yukimura-sama when they first met – and the indirect effects on himself, perhaps…"

Hijikata huffed in both amusement and comprehension.

"How old is he and how close is the resemblance?"

"He's fifteen – and looks it – and the resemblance is almost exact, or would be except that Kirō-kun insists on keeping his hair long and refuses to wear a kimono, insisting that hakama make him look more like a swordsman."

This time Hijikata actually laughed a little and Harada, who somehow seemed to be sitting closer to Sen-hime now, gave his trademark easy smile.

"Well, Saitō usually wears a kimono," the red-head drawled, "and there aren't many better swordsmen, ne, Hijikata-san?"

"At the moment, I'm not sure I can think of any," Hijikata agreed, a little grimly. "But I can understand the boy wanting to be different from his older brother. It usually goes in one direction or the other, doesn't it? Hero worship or trying to be different."

Chiharu smiled a little herself. "In Kirō-kun's case it's both, I'm afraid, although I doubt he'd agree to the former."

"Saitō might surprise you," Hijikata said to her. "He has tremendous control, and I doubt that's changed. I'm glad you're at least going to ask him about meeting your brother."

"Yes," agreed Harada. "You should let him make up his own mind."

Sen-hime, sensing that her cousin was reluctant to risk her brother to Saitō's good judgment, added: "Haru-chan. He's so much like Amagiri it's weird. It will be fine – well, maybe not perfectly fine, but nobody will get hurt."

Only Kimigiku, observant as always, saw the quick exchange of looks between Hijikata and Harada. The one that clearly said: "We hope."

"Excuse me," said Saitō, from behind them. He was standing beside Chizuru, still dressed only in hakama and evidently weary, but completely composed and somehow impressive in his Oni form with the crown of four white and silver horns.

Sen-hime jumped up and smiled broadly, evidently unabashed that they had just been talking about the man. Hijikata and Harada both rose more slowly and nodded. Kimigiku was already on her feet, alert to any threat that the newly transformed Oni might pose. Saitō's attention was on Chiharu, however, although he bowed politely to the others.

"Kazama-sama. I may have a quarrel with your brother, Kazama Chikage-sama. However, to the best of my knowledge – which is now significantly more extensive – I have none with your younger brother, Kazama Kichirō-sama. I am told by my wife-to-be that I will be pleased to have him join us tonight for whatever ceremonies that Sen-hime and Amagiri-san have planned."

It was a masterful speech. Hijikata and Harada both stared openly and even Sen was impressed. Chiharu looked a little confused but also somewhat relieved.

"My younger brother would be very pleased to meet you, Saitō-san." Chiharu hesitated over the name for a moment and then continued. "He heard from Harada-san that you are a famous swordsman, and he is rather… interested in swordsmanship. I hope you will be patient with him."

"Of course, Kazama-sama." Saitō bowed politely. "Please excuse me. Vice Commander…" his easy manners seemed to desert him all at once, confirming the sense that he had been carefully coached in his earlier speech. "By your leave…"

Hijikata came to his rescue.

"I'm glad to see you on your feet again, Saitō. Go get cleaned up and changed, we'll wait for you here."

"Arigatou gozaimasu, Fukuchō."

"Oh… and no doubt you will make sure that your wife-to-be inspects any remaining wounds while you bathe," Hijikata added, unable to resist.

Several sets of eyes turned to Hjikata, who appeared to be supremely unaware of having said anything unusual. Chiharu and Sen both covered their mouths with their hands and turned away. Harada and Kimigiku didn't bother to conceal their amusement. Chizuru blushed a fiery red that looked odd with her golden eyes and white hair.

Saitō flushed a little, but managed to keep his gaze level with Hijikata's.

"As you say, Vice Commander. Excuse us."

He took Chizuru's arm, and nodded once again all around as though he weren't embarrassed, half-dressed and covered in dried blood. The door closed quietly behind them.

[END]

A/Note: I'm pleased with how this stage (chapters 55-56) came out. Again, something I had planned for quite a long time (including what happened between Saitou and his father/brother).

Yes, there is conflict coming. And I do feel badly for Kazama. Hopefully the "girls" (yet another trio?) can work things out. And where is Lady Suzuka in all this?

Plus, next chapter I get to bring Kichiro back, and I'm looking forward to that; I think he's a cutie!