Insert disclaimer here
Blah Blah Blah basic text (i.e. description, speech, etc)
Blah Blah Blah Thought or some transaction within someone's mind (also flashbacks)
Blah Blah Blah Kyuubi talking Jutsu will also be bold
BLAH yelling, or emphasis of some sort
Naruto of the Nine Tails
Rated M for language, violence, adult themes, graphic imagery, clowns, gallows humor, rabid fangirls, puns, butchery of the English language, funny hats, the big comfy chair, and obscure references.
A/N
Ok I admit it freely the ending of the last chp blew chunks, therefore I will be revising it to add a little more spice and closure. That aside most of the drawn out anime battles that you guys are used to are, generally, not realistic in the world of shinobi (that is of course excluding things like the chunnin exam finals and high level battles).
Chp 12: Home Again Home Again
On the Road Konoha
It was a fairly average day as Team 7 made its way back home, the sun was shining, the wind was blowing, Hinata was thinking, Sakura was talking animatedly, Sasuke wasn't exceeding more than a few syllables in one go, Kakashi was giggling like a horny schoolgirl, yep all was as it should be. So far they had been discussing/analyzing the mission and had now worked their way to the end of the somewhat one-sided battle that had left Gatou at the mercies, or rather the lack there of, of his victims.
"Did you see that prick's face when Naruto grabbed him?" Sakura crowed remembering the look of horror on Gatou's face as Naruto's tail took hold of ankle. "He looked like he was going to wet himself?"
"Did," stated Naruto as he wrinkled his nose which everyone accurately took to mean that Gatou had in fact lost control of his bladder.
"I thought I was going to die laughing when Tazuna and that guy started brainstorming how to kill Gatou while they were walking," Sakura said, referring to the incident where Tazuna and the mysterious man with the big ass sword had walked behind Naruto and Gatou graphically discussing how they were going to dispose of the little gangster. "Who was he anyway?" asked Sakura.
"That was Mamochi Zabuza he's…" began Kakashi.
At this point Hinata lost all bearing on the conversation as she became even more immersed in her own thoughts. Naruto had clearly remembered who Gatou was; now, normally, such a thing wouldn't be anything special, but Naruto was anything but normal. Normal for Naruto would be remembering things that directly affected him or someone he felt responsible for and things that were repeated over and over; Gatou had only been mentioned once and those conversations had been the only things to label him as a threat. The fact that Naruto had remembered that Gatou was "bad" from just that was out of the ordinary. Add to that that Naruto had dragged Gatou to the town square where Tazuna said Kaiza had been executed and well... 'Does this mean Naruto is getting better?' Hinata wondered. Could these be signs that Naruto was finally starting to recover? Was it something else? Was it nothing at all and she was just seeing what she was hoping to see?
Those were Hinata's thoughts as Team 7 (and resident jinchuuriki) made their way back through the gates of Konoha before going their separate ways.
Kakashi going off to report to the Hokage.
Sasuke going off to do... whatever it was Sasuke does.
And Sakura, Hinata and Naruto going off together in the general direction of Irichiraku's.
Then...
"OOF!" was the closest thing to a startled cry that Sakura was able to manage as the wind was knocked out of her lungs and she was knocked on he butt. "What the hell?" she wondered looking around. "Oh it's just Konohamaru and his minions," she muttered as she caught sight of the Sandaime's grandson and his posse of Naruto/Hinata stalkers.
It was kind of funny really, a few years ago about two months after Naruto's "defeat" of the Sandaime during his "escape from captivity" Konohamaru had started "ambushing" Naruto and Hinata at random intervals. Eventually the girls (Naruto didn't seem to care he'd just swat the boy away like a fly and since Hinata could usually be found in the company of one or more of her friends they got caught in the cross fire) had gotten sick of it and captured him to find out what the deal was. Evidently the misguided twit felt that if he defeated Naruto everyone would have to call him Konohamaru instead of "Honorable Grandson" and other such gibberish. Needless to say they set him straight, well as straight as was humanly possible but at least now he didn't ambush them…as often.
Anyway back to the situation at hand.
Seeing who they had run into the Konohamaru Corps began their intro poses.
But Sakura was having none of that, it was funny the first time, the second time too, but this was like the 42nd this year and it was getting ridiculous. 'It's time for an intervention.' "You guys do realize that that cheesy intro is below you right? That kind of thing is something only old men with delusions of grandeur use to try, and fail miserably, and make themselves look cooler than they actually are."
Somewhere in Ta no Kuni
"ACHOO! Huh, some hot babe must be talking about me," mused the white haired man before turning back to his peep hole only to find all of his subjects gone. "Damn, and there were some good ones too."
Crack, Crack.
Jiraiya froze, he knew that sound. Very slowly he turned to look over his shoulder, almost afraid of what he might find. His misgivings were well founded it seemed because standing there looking set to kill was a horde of angry women in towels. Chuckling nervously Jiraiya started backing away, as a general rule he didn't mind getting beaten up a little (after all, all that punching and kicking tended to dislodge the towels) but from personal experience he knew that there was only one way out of situations like this where he could actually get seriously injured, he'd have to use that jutsu.
"SENJUTSU OOGI: RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH NO JUTSU," cried the white haired sennin as he took off down the street the horde of angry women hot on his tail.
Back in Konoha
Needless to say Konohamaru and Co. stopped, alas the peace was not to last as Konohamaru's eyes focused one something behind the Naruto and the girls. "HI HANABI-CHAN!" he called with a cheery wave.
At the sound of her sister's name, Hinata whipped around so quickly that Sakura was sure she had to have injured something. Sure enough standing there frozen like a deer in the headlights was Hanabi…and Anko too, but she just seemed to be enjoying her protégé's plight.
'Damn right I am…oh crap it's back again,' she thought dejectedly. 'Not listening, not listening,' she chanted in her head, futilely trying to deny the author's existence as Hanabi turned tail and ran like her life depended on it (which it did). "I am so getting a P.E.T. scan," she muttered as she turned to follow her fleeing minion and said minion's vengeful sibling.
Thump
"OW! You little bitch! That hur-"
WHACK! Thumpathumpa! CRASH!
"Oh that sounds interesting," chirped Anko as she practically skipped getting to a good vantage point to see the fun (read blood, death, gore, violence in general, you get the picture). When she made it into one of the trees, making sure not to be seen (if a Jounin shows up the interesting stuff tends to stop rather abruptly for some reason), what she saw was, in her opinion, funny as hell. Hinata was currently strangling/yelling herself hoarse at Hanabi while completely ignoring the poor Sand nin that she had sent flying thru a fence who seemed to have recovered enough to voice his indignation.
"What's wrong with you people first the midget now-" he began before he realized that nobody was paying attention to him, not even Temari who was staring in horrified fascination as Hinata attempted to kill her sister (whiplash or asphyxiation whichever came first). As you can imagine being ignored by such a small and seemingly weak girl, despite the obvious evidence to the contrary, did not sit well with Kankuro's ego, "Um excuse me," the tone was anything but polite.
Hinata didn't respond and simply continued to throttle Hanabi.
"OI! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
Nothing
'Ok that's it,' thought Kankuro as he marched forward drawing his fist back to deck Hinata.
"Oh wrong move puppet boy," chuckled Anko.
Pain. That's all that registered in Kankuro's mind as he was launched into a nearby tree. 'What the fuck hit me?' he wondered as he tried to get the world to stop spinning but as soon as it did he wished it hadn't.
Crouched in front of the dark haired girl he'd been about to attack was Kyuubi no Naruto, the famed and feared jinchuuriki of the Hidden Leaf, his face twisted into an snarl, his tails whipping angrily behind him. Then the fox boy started toward him, like the fox he resembled stalking forward while his eyes never left his prey. In that moment, Kankuro knew he was going to die and that there was nothing he could do to save himself. He'd heard the stories about Konoha's jinchuuriki, how no seal could hold him, how no one could stop him, how he was little more than a mindless animal. He'd thought the stories were exaggerated that Konoha was too soft, that they didn't have the guts to create something like that... but now, seeing the boy with his own eyes, Kankuro felt the stories didn't do the boy justice. The way he moved, his presence, the billowing tails, the look in his eyes... no words could describe how utterly terrifying this kid was, and Kankuro was unfortunate enough to have incurred his wrath.
'Just my luck, I spend years tiptoeing around Gaara only to piss off someone scarier the first chance I get,' he thought bitterly as he closed his eyes waiting to die.
"Naruto, sit."
'WHAT!' opening his eyes in shock, Kankuro stared in disbelief at the now sitting jinchuuriki and the slip of a girl (who was once more trying to kill her sister) that had commanded said jinchuuriki like one would a pet. The boy wasn't even looking at Kankuro anymore but up into the tree behind him.
"Shu-ka-ku?" wondered Naruto still staring into the tree.
'Ok, now I know somebody up there hates me,' thought Kankuro. Honestly, made a fool of by, not one but two, little girls, then he pisses of the scariest kid he's ever met, now Gaara was standing above him? And if that wasn't enough, if he survived the next five minutes he was sure that every bone on his back was bruised.
Lucky for him Gaara was far too interested in, he believed the girl had said "Naruto," and the girl who had so easily commanded such power to notice that he even existed. What really interested him was the fact that mother was, for the first time, completely silent and if he wasn't imagining things Gaara was sure he could feel fear radiating from his beast. 'Most interesting,' he thought as he disappeared in a whirl of sand only to appear down in the street, "I am Sabaku no Gaara, may I ask your name," he said indicating Hinata.
"Hyuuga Hinata," she answered warily, something told her that this kid was infinitely more dangerous than the cat man.
"And him?" he asked now indicating Naruto.
"Uzumaki Naruto."
With that Gaara turned on his heel, "Temari, Kankuro we're leaving," and with that they were gone.
"Hm must be time for the Chunnin exams," Hinata thought out loud before she turned back to Hanabi, who she had yet to put down, to continue where she had left off.
Random Tree in a Training Ground
'Hm,' Sasuke had a problem…well another one anyway.
He'd known that Sakura didn't really like him, that much was clear from how she had acted back at the academy, but their talk on the dock back in wave had brought something to his attention, she didn't just "not like" him, she hated him with a passion and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. A known fact to anyone who actually knew the Ucchihas before they were slaughtered was that they had an especially acute sense of curiosity. So it wasn't really the fact that she hated him, after all neither did a lot of other people, it was the fact that it was so strong and he didn't know why and it was driving him up a wall…well tree but moving on.
He could always just ask her but now that his pride, like in wave, wasn't on the line he had no desire to take such a route, as it would end up with Sakura knowing and her possibly asking more embarrassing questions, when he could just as easily act like the ninja that he was and acquire the desired information through other means.
So Sasuke continued to ponder his plan of attack as his music switched.
"She fuckin hates me…" came through the ear buds.
'How does it do that?' he wondered before going back to the matter at hand.
Operation "Unrequited Hate" had begun.
Omake
By SlashnYaoi
"Shu-ka-ku?" wondered Naruto still staring into the tree
Gaara stepped in front of Naruto, tilting his head curiously.
"Shu-ka-ku!" Naruto explaimed excitedly.
Then, to everyones horror (and fear) Naruto pounced on Gaara like an oversized dog, happily exclaiming 'Shu-ka-ku' over and over again. That is, until he did the unthinkable.
Much like the canine he was acting, he stuck out his tongue and licked Gaara in greeting.
He got a mouthful of sand for his trouble.
The collective thoughts in the area?
Ew
Edited: 10/17/11
End Notes
Well there you go, finally got it done. Kind of depressing how long it took me, but I had so many ideas and other stories running through my head when I wasn't busy that it was hard to focus on writing this one. Just check out my challenge forum and you see what I mean. The truly scary part is that I haven't even finished putting up all of my ideas yet.
Anyway so this is up, what did you think of how I handled the meeting with the sand sibs it feels like it's missing something.
On a side note I've set up a forum for posting and discussing challenges so anyone who has any they'd like to post or who is looking for something to write feel free. The link is at the top of my profile.
and a note to "FuckFuckFuckFuck Fuckidy Fu..." if you are reading this, if you are going to flame could you at least do it well and make me feel bad, honestly I've been more insulted by squirls chittering at me.
NOTICE: Omake Competition
I'm taking an idea from a few other authors and starting an omake(extras) competition. Basically here's how it works, any of you who have little side stories that you think would be fun, write them and send them to me, then I'll take up to three of the entries that I like and post them with the chp. I'll be doing it with this chp, so send me your stuff and probably in like a month I'll repost with the omakes at the end.
Cliff notes
Senjutsu oogi-Sage technique supreme art
Muse Rant
Hello! anybody else annoyed with delta's update rate? Whenever he starts writing I get a god damned call at 1 am, delta aint that a little much? Oh, and for those who don't know, delta's forums are up, come on over a take up a challenge, or post your own. That or roast his ideas, for some of them need it.
You have no right to complain about me calling you at 1am once when you've call me at all times, day, night, and in the middle of class.
Yes, well that's different.
How pray tell?
Well it's not an inconvenience when I call you.
...I should have known, and by the way go back to kindergarten and learn to count, I only made one forum.
...You're an ass
True this is, however, matter it does not.
Oh shove it grasshopper.
And what is it that I shove? While grasshopping around you I am.
...
I win