Chapter Four
Pulling out of Dunny's was hard but it felt good to Moondoggie to be traveling in the shelter of his Dodge Ram.
Sweets cried all the way to the next town.
A little out of practice being around women, he left her to it as long as she didn't make herself sick.
As they were pulling into a Walmart parking spot an hour later, she finally spoke.
"Yesterday was just about the best day I can remember. Thank you." She gave him a watery grin.
He lifted her hand to his mouth and whispered, "my pleasure."
She blushed and sat back.
"What did Dunny say about your parents?" she asked turning her body toward him.
"When I blow through, Dunny calls my mom and pops and lets them know how I'm doing."
"You don't talk to them?"
"Not for eight years," Edward says as his hands tighten on the steering wheel.
"What happened?" she asked.
"A difference of opinion," he shrugged.
She looked at him waiting for more.
He huffed, "My pops thought I was shit. I disagreed."
They sat in silence until the cold started to creep into the cab.
"Come on, we need to buy some supplies for the trip and you can't go any farther north in those clothes." He almost growled the last part.
She chuckled, "I'm sorry I'm not meeting your fashion standards, Mr. Cullen."
"Don't," he tried not to smile, "I can't believe you don't even have a coat."
"I've never gone above the I-10 corridor until this trip. I had enough money for gas, that's it."
"But food, lodging," he frowned at her trying to solve the puzzle, "the banana bread."
She ducked her head, "I had it rationed out for three days."
But she gave it to us?
"They were so nice. I wanted to give back to them, share with them. I thought of it as my Christmas present to them," she looked at him for understanding.
He felt cut to the marrow.
"I'm sorry, Sweets, forgive me for being an ass. It was a beautiful gift. The best banana bread I've ever tasted and it's been many years since anyone has made those two goats feel as special as you did yesterday, so thank you." He waited for her to smile. "Now let's get you fixed up proper for the occasion, okay?"
"K" she nodded but didn't move.
"What," he leaned forward to see if she was upset.
"I'll let you buy me some sundries if you let me buy us dinner tonight and every other tank of gas."
"That's your final offer?" he smiled at her.
"That's my final offer," she smiled back.
~o0o~
They put in eight-hour days for two days straight. The weather was sunny and bright with crispness in the air. Now that she had a nice thick coat with matching scarf and gloves, he couldn't keep her inside. She opted for drive-thrus and eating in the bed of the truck.
It was an uphill battle to keep her from wrapping up every scrape of leftovers. She refused to waste anything but slowly they developed a system of sharing food so that there was less leftover. That seemed to appease her.
He loved how her cheeks and nose got rosy in the crisp, winter air and how the sun turned her hair into a glossy caramel-colored waterfall. He watched her smile and laugh with the sun on her face and the wind playing with her hair and thought there just couldn't be a more glorious sight than Sweets smiling in the sunshine.
On the second night, she surprised him by earning the next day's gas money by charmingly beating a group of men at pool. She said she learned how to be creative in taking care of herself. He was pretty sure the men enjoyed losing to her as much as he enjoyed watching her win.
~o0o~
"You okay, Sweets?" Edward asked across the darkened motel room.
"Tomorrow's the big day. Tomorrow, after nineteen years I meet my dad." She sniffed in the dark.
"It'll be all right, Sweets. You've come this far. We'll see it through together." He turned on his bed toward her as he heard her whisper, "together."
"Moondoggie?"
"Yeah, Baby?"
"Can I sleep with you tonight?"
She sounded so small and unsure. It broke him to deny her anything.
"Of course, Sweets, come on over." He held up the far side of the blankets and watched as she came bounding to his bed. She didn't stop until she had her head on his chest and his arms snuggly wrapped around her.
"Thanks, Moondoggie, I'll be brave tomorrow." Her breath hitched as she ran her hand up his chest.
He caught it under his and kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep, Sweets, I got you."
"K," she whispered into his neck.
"Okay," he smiled into her hair.
~o0o~
Moondoggie sits in the dark of the motel room watching his Sweets sleep after the heartbreaking day of the funeral. He smiles knowing the last knot has untangled. Fear and hope race through him. He knows what he is going to do, his Christmas present to Sweets. It's four days until Christmas Eve, that's time enough.
For Sweets, he can do this.
He stands and stretches as she rolls over in his Harley shirt.
Damn, what that woman does to him.
He crawls gently into her bed; pulls her close to spoon and feels a peace wash over him. With her hair nesting around him, he drifts off to the last few hours of sleep.
~o0o~
At the Forks Diner, Moondoggie watches her stir sugar into her coffee. She has not made eye contact all morning.
He laughs awkwardly at the situation causing her to look up.
His chest tightens as he looks at her, but he knows it's all or nothing time.
He clears his throat. "You know, we've been so focused on getting here we never talked about what your plans are for after." He takes a sip of coffee and braces himself.
"I … I don't have plans, really. Um, my car is at Dunny's and I have some stuff at Mrs. Cope's in Phoenix. I guess I should go back," she drops her hands to her lap.
He lets out the breath he'd been holding.
"Sweets, look at me," he coaxes gently.
She looks up but doesn't meet his eyes.
"I don't have all the answers but I think we can figure something out together. Do you want to go back to the life you had in Phoenix?"
She huffs, "I have a set of second-hand sheets, some summer clothes," she smirks as he chuckles, "and six old books in a room atMrs. Cope's. I don't have a life there, Moondoggie."
"Good," he smiles as her eyes shoot up to meet his.
"Good? Pathetic is a better word," she bites back.
"Sweets it's good because maybe you might want to stay with me for a bit longer, maybe through the holidays?" He holds her gaze as she thinks.
Please, please, please.
"Moondoggie," she sighs and drops her head in defeat. He swallows thickly. "I don't have any money left, I am beyond grateful, but now it's time to get back to reality," she whispers.
He stares at the top of her lowered head. All he knows is if he backs down now he'll regret it for the rest of his life.
He reaches his hand across the table, "Sweets," he waits.
Slowly she slides her hand to meet his. As he enfolds her hand in his, he hears a soft sob shudder through her.
He moves to her side of the booth and pulls her to him. She drops her head to his shoulder and quietly cries. He lets her go for a bit, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down her arm.
When she calms down to hiccups and sniffles, he brings her face up with his finger under her chin and kisses her forehead, handing her a paper napkin. While she wipes her face and pulls herself together, he takes the opportunity to pitch his proposal.
"Sweets, I don't know for sure what you want, but you don't have to make all of your decisions today. The way I see it, you're not at a dead end, you're at a crossroads.
"This is what I want to do. Now tell me if it sounds good to you. I want to take the next four days and have fun while we travel to Chicago. Don't worry about money; I still have half of my pay from Newton's to blow through. I'd like to spend Christmas day in Chicago. After the New Year, we could head back down and visit with Dunny and Bob. If you want, we can send Mrs. Cope money to box and ship your things to Dunny's. That way you'll be ready to go in any direction you want from there, a crossroads of possibilities."
He sits back, trying to appear calm.
"I can wait until we get back to Dunny's," she whispers.
"You can stay with me until we get back to Dunny's."
She lets out a shuddering sigh, "K."
He lifts her chin, "Okay?" he can't believe it.
She nods and smiles shyly, "yeah."
He pulls her into a bear hug, "Oh God, Sweets, that's the best thing I've heard… ever," he laughs at his stupidity with sheer relief.
She laughs into his collar.
He hugs her again and then rests his arm on the back of the booth as he motions to the waitress.
~o0o~
Relief sits like a third person in the cab of the truck as they head out of town. Like two inmates with death row pardons, they smile and laugh, slightly drunk on the reprieve thatlife has given them.
"Stop!" Sweets shouts.
Moondoggie pulls over in alarm.
Sweets jumps out of the truck and begins walking back to the 'Welcome to Forks' sign.
"Sweets?"
"I'm all right Moondoggie, I just wanted to say goodbye. I won't be coming back," she says with conviction.
He walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as she stares at the sign.
"Years ago, I found a picture in a shoes box with a young Renee and a man with my hair and eyes with Forks Photo Hut stamped on the back. When I needed help with college I thought I'd try. I found his picture on the Forks Police website. I sent him the paperwork with a letter but I never heard from him. I think he never knew Renee was ever pregnant with me. I don't think he knew about me at all and I think he died before he could make up his mind what to do about me." She lets out a deep shuddering sigh and pulls Moondoggie's arms tighter around her.
"I never had a mother. I never had a father. I've had more family with you, Dunny and Bob in the past few days than I've had in my whole life. Now that I know the difference, I won't be pining for second best," she sniffs and sighs.
He squeezes her a bit tighter. She turns in his arms and kisses his cheek sweetly. "Thank you, Moondoggie."
He turns her in his arms, looking at her lips as he leans in, kissing her on her cheek. "Thank you for reminding me how good it feels to care, Sweets," he whispers.
She looks at his lips and up to his eyes. He smiles knowingly.
"Ready?" he asks as he releases her to take both of her hands.
Turning to look at the sign one more time, she reaches down. Taking a fist of dirt, she rubs it between her hands, watching as the wind carries it away.
She smiles up to him and nods. He places his arm around her and guides her toward the truck. Kissing the side of her head, he whispers, "Good girl."
~o0o~
On the ferry that takes them over Puget Sound to Seattle, Moondoggie takes Sweets up to the observation deck. He loves the ferry and wants to share this it with her.
He settles her on a bench and pulls her into his side as he drapes a blanket over their laps.
"Moondoggie, why Christmas in Chicago?" she asks as she pulls the blanket up under her chin.
He tucks it tighter around them to keep out the draft.
"It's where my folks are, my mom, pops, sister," He says looking out over the water.
She pauses, choosing her words carefully, "the folks you haven't seen in eight years?"
"The same," he says with forced lightness.
"Moondoggie … why?"
"It's time, Sweets. You've reminded me that I have a family, and yes, I'm terrified at facing my pops and his wall of judgment, but I have one, and he is alive. I'm filled with guilt at the idea of seeing my mother and sister, but I have a mom and sister. You've showed me how good it feels to be tethered to another. It's time for me to stop running," he kisses the forehead resting on his shoulder.
"If it gets too tough, we'll go, okay," she says giving him a squeeze.
"Okay," he sighs out.
"K," she says softly as she watched the Seattle skyline loom before them.
~o0o~
They make it to Spokane, Washington the first night. It's a push for Moondoggie, but he has the first phase of 'Operation Sweets' Christmas' waiting for them.
They check into a motel and head out to look for food. They sit side by side and share a soup sampler and beer bread at Soulful Soup and Spirits. They have such a great selection of beers that Moondoggie indulges in one with dinner. He notices how she quiets after his order and busies herself with the menu.
"Sweets, it's just one. I don't drink much and I haven't drunk to excess since my college days. Is this something that can come between us? I'll order a Coke if it will make you more comfortable," he ducks his head to look at her.
She rests her head on his shoulder, "No, Moondoggie, I have a very bad history with people who drink but I trust you," she whispers as she looks up.
He tucks her hair behind her ear, "Let me know if it becomes a problem. You're more important than a bottle of hops," He smiles tenderly.
Watching her shyly smile, he knows he's said the right thing.
~o0o~
Warmed through and rested, he walks them to the Campbell House to take a tour of the nineteenth-century mansion wrapped in its Christmas finery. Moondoggie smiles at the sparkle in her eye as they walk up the drive. She has to touch everything, the garland running in every room covered with lights and decorative fruits, theglass and handmadeornaments on the trees throughout the house, the beautiful ball gowns displayed in a lady's dressing room. It thrills him to watch her soak in every homey thing in the beautiful house.
When they find themselves back at the front foyer, Moondoggie escorts her out the ornate front doors to a horse- drawn carriage. He sees a lone tear slip from her eye as he tucks a blanket around her torso. He runs his fingers lightly over her skin as his thumb runs a gentle line under her bottom lip.
She smiles at him and holds her breath as he leans in, kissing her salty cheek.
The carriage takes them through downtown Spokane alight with Christmas decorations. They stop in front of the Martin Woldson Theater. She holds tight to his arm as he buys their tickets and escorts her to their seats. As he settles in next to her, she looks to him to explain.
"The Nutcracker Suite … my mom and sister went every year. It was a cornerstone part of our Christmas when I was growing up. Dunny and Bob told me you took ballet when you were little. I would have loved to have seen you dance," he shrugs, "anyway, I thought it would be a good way to kick off our Christmas together."
She squeezes his hand with brimming eyes. "Thank you," she whispers.
"No crying, Sweets," he smiles, raising their joined hands to his mouth as the room darkens.
~o0o~
The bus drops them up the street from the motel. They walk arm in arm through the chilly night. Reaching the warm room, they make short work of getting ready and climb into their separate beds seeking warmth.
Moondoggie is just drifting away when she calls him back.
"Moooondoggie"
"Come on, Baby," he mumbles as he lifts the far side of his blankets.
She slips in and snuggles next to him.
"Night Moondoggie," she whispers.
"Nnnn, Sweets," he breathes out pulling the blanket over her shoulder.
She smiles to herself as he begins to softly snore.
~o0o~
Well rested, Moondoggie gets behind the wheel determined to make Billings, Montana before dark. Sweets occupies her time with chasing Christmas songs on the radio.
After buying tape and Red Hots at the first gas station, she makes garland and a wreath out of thegreen napkins she took from the complimentary coffee counter in their motel lobby. She decorates the dashboard with the garland and spends an hour licking the back of the Red Hot candies and sticking them to the wreath. Moondoggie struggles to keep his eyes on the road as her little red tongue darts out over and over. When she's done, she hangs it proudly on the rearview mirror as he swallows thickly.
After dropping their luggage off in the room, they walk to The Burger Dive where she has a massive hamburger with an onion ring tucked under the bun. He laughs watching her try to fit that huge burger in her mouth. He finally has mercy on her and cuts it into quarters. He has the Blackened Sabbath burger and a basket of fries, letting her snitch a few.
Now that he is away from the torture of the cinnamon incense, they talk freely, holding hands throughout their meal.
~o0o~
With the lights off Moondoggie is finally free to think on the events of the day.
That tongue…
That mouth ...
He closes his eyes against the onslaught of images. He wants to cover that sweet, juicy little mouth with his, to claim it, explore it, own it. He wants to suck the red cinnamon tongue until he's drunk with her.
He wants her, all of her.
He turns over and punches his pillow.
"Moooondoggie,"
He groans into his pillow at the bad timing, really, bad timing.
He waits a minute trying to calm down then lifts up the far side of his covers,
"Come on, Sweets."
She comes over and moves under the covers toward him.
"Turn over, Sweets. Face your bed." He whispers in the dark.
She turns and he slides to her and spoons with her.
"Comfortable?"
"Yeah, this is nice." She pats his arm under the cover.
"Good," he kisses her temple. "Goodnight, Sweets."
They settle into the quiet darkness and he finally begins to drift.
"Moondoggie?
"Yes, Baby," he mumbles.
"Why won't you kiss me?" she asks quietly in the night.
He freezes.
"I kiss you all the time, Sweets" he loosens his hold slightly.
"You kiss my forehead, my nose, my head, my hands. If I walked around barefoot, I'd probably be able to get you to kiss my feet. But you won't kiss my lips."
She squirms a little while she talks.
"Be still, Sweets."
"Why," she starts to turn to see him and it all comes crashing down.
Suddenly, he has her pinned under him as he hovers over her.
"Because you're driving me insane," he lowers his hip so she can feel him.
"Oh."
"Yeah, 'oh,' all day Sweets, with the licking and the cinnamon, you're so good and sweet and I just really want to do very bad things to you right now. He growls out.
She takes a moment to take in her first meeting with an unhinged Moondoggie. Although he's a bit scary, he is also glorious. The heat coming off him is thermal, and spread out under him she finds she really wants to play with fire.
She meets his eyes, "But that doesn't answer my question, Moondoggie. Why won't you kiss me?" she whispers.
He sits up on his heels, pushes her thighs further apart with his knees and runs his hands roughly up her sides as he resumes hovering over her. Running his hands up into her hair as his body presses against her, he angles her head just so, as he leans in. With his lips suspended deliciously close hers, he whispers hoarsely, "Because, little girl, the day I claim your lips, I claim all of you. And there won't be any coming back from that. We're talking all in."
He leans down slowly and places a hot, lingering kiss on the corner of her mouth as his hand glides along her torso stopping to let his thumb run under her breast.
"Now, turn back over and behave or move back over to your bed." He says firmly.
"I'll behave, Moondoggie," she pants as her hip rubs across him as she turns.
He growls and helps her turn over and pulls her roughly against him to spoon. "You're going to get burned, Sweets."
"Oooo, I'm so scared," she laughs breaking the tension.
He chuckles behind her and taps her hip, "Behave." He kisses just below her ear and pulls her in tighter.
"Goodnight, Moondoggie" she pushes back a bit.
"Goodnight, Sweets." He whispers against her shoulder.