Chapter 13
"Tell him we'll be there in thirty minutes!"
Edward turns to see Bella bounding out of bed and pulling her suitcase out of the closet.
His Sweets is still endearingly shy about her body, consistently tugging a T-shirt over her frame as she leaves the bed.
Now, he sits stunned, watching her storm around the room gathering and shoving everything into her luggage, naked—gloriously naked.
"Um, Dad? We'll be there in about thirty minutes—Yeah—see you soon," Edward sets his phone on the nightstand.
He glances at the clock, 3:13 am.
"Sweets?"
"Baby?"
"BELLA!"
She freezes without turning.
"Come here, Baby," Edward sighs as he holds out his hand to her back.
She continues to the bathroom to gather their toiletries.
An edgy feeling takes over him at times like these, when he can't read her thoughts. This packing feels like running to him. He works hard at stamping down the panic rising within.
She comes out carrying her toiletry bag. As she brushes past his perch at the foot of the bed, he grabs her wrist.
His panic eases somewhat as she allows him to tow her between his legs.
"Bella, talk to me," he whispers as he wraps his arms around her thighs and places a gentle kiss just below her navel.
He feels her fingers run gingerly through his hair but looks up when a sob escapes her lips and she begins to shake.
Alarmed, he pulls her onto his lap, cradling and rocking her.
After a time, she calms and stills, and he brushes her damp hair from her face.
She burrows into his chest and he pulls her snug against him.
"We sh—should have ca—called," she whimpers.
Edward stills.
Shit
He begins rocking her again, this time more for his own comfort.
"Yes, you're right. We should have…"
"Two times we let it go. How could I be so callous? Now—oh God—now…"
"Stop! Sweets, this is on me. Totally on me. You're right. Two times you reminded me to give the guys a call and two times I set it aside. Baby, don't beat yourself up over my failings. You had them in mind. I dropped the ball. Please forgive me."
She sobs quietly against him and he feels gutted with every teardrop that runs down his bare chest.
When she quiets down to sniffs and hiccups he hears her whisper, "I'm not a good friend."
He feels her begin to pull the tips of her hair. "Bad, bad, bad …"
He sets her back on his knees to look her in the eye.
"Bella, stop," he says in quiet sharpness.
She stops and rests her hands in her lap.
"You've been more of a friend to those two old men in one day than they have seen in years." He tucks his finger under her chin and lifts her eyes to his. "You made them laugh, made them feel special and accepted. I can speak for them and say it was the best day in many years."
"Really?"
"Really-really," he sighs with relief when she smiles softly and melts against his chest.
He continues, pulling her close, "There's something about a feminine presence that brings out the best in men and those two old goats forget how much good they've hidden behind all their gruff. You brought that out, reminded them."
She sniffs, "It was the first time I ever felt accepted for just—me. Dunny surprised me by asking me to warm up by the fire and I never stood a chance of putting up my walls. They were so sweet and funny," she sighs, "I wanted to stay there forever."
"I know, I didn't think we'd ever get on the road that morning." He says leaning over to pick up his dress shirt.
As she slips her arms into his shirt, she whispers, "It was you, too. You made me feel safe, once you stopped stomping around," she smiles, "and I didn't want to leave you either. We were a family—you, me, Dunny, and Bob. Weren't we?"
"Yes, Sweets—family. I didn't realize it at the time, but yeah, that's what we are—family."
He smiles sheepishly, "I think that was part of my 'stomping around'."
She cocks her head for him to explain as she plays with the hair at the nape of his neck.
"I was expecting to hang with my guys. I always thought of Dunny's as home base, a safe place to crash between jobs, but, I never dwelt on the meaning until you came crashing through those swinging doors. I was set off balance by you. God, Bella, you were so beautiful, so real and untainted!" He swallows thickly before he continues; "I think I was a bit jealous too. You were invading my safe place and taking the attention of the guys."
She takes a breath to speak, but the pained look painted across her face propels him on, "My knee jerk reaction was right about you but wrong about how you fit in with us. As the day wore on, I watched you make that broken down gas station a home and three, lost and broken men a family. In one day, you healed so much inside of us." He shook his head and laid his warm hand gently along her cheek, "Yes—family, you refashioned us into a family."
He pulls her into a reverent kiss, tasting the salt of her tears, treasuring them as much as any Eucharist.
She leans against him with her head resting on his shoulder. They are still for a long moment, lost in thought.
"Bobby's dying." Bella's statement disturbs the air around them.
"Yes, Baby," he says against her hair.
She sighs and pulls back. He looks into her sad, red-rimmed eyes as she says, "I guess we should get going then. We'll need to help with that."
She smiles sadly before leaning in to give him a sweet kiss, soft, ever so slightly lingering.
He wants to wrap himself around her and shelter her, hide her from the pain. Instead, he watches her sigh, square her shoulders, stand, and hold out her hand to him.
She's so much stronger than he will ever be.
He nods, takes her hand and allows her to pull him up.
They quietly finish dressing and packing, as a reverence for this moment in life settles over them.
She stands by the door with bag in hand as he sends off a text,
Hey Pops, give us thirty more, on our way,
Turns off the lights and follows her out of the room.
~o0o~
"Here Baby, if the Queasy Pops don't work, Pops has Dramamine," Edward gives his Sweets a red lollipop.
An ashen Bella looks from his hand to the box sitting on top of his carry-on bag.
"Is there orange, I like orange best," she says in a quiet little voice.
"My poor Baby," he coos as he digs for the two oranges he saw in the box.
Unwrapping one before turning to her, he holds it out and smiles as she leans in to wrap her lips around it.
She tucks her hair behind her ear and leans on her shoulder against the back of the seat, facing him.
"I'm okay, Moondoggie. I think it's the stress more than anything. Stress always goes straight to my stomach," she says rubbing her tummy as she speaks.
"When the seat belt sign goes off we'll get you comfortable. It's a four-hour trip so you can get a nice bit of sleep.
"Okay, I don't think the orange is working," she makes a face pulling it out of her mouth.
He grabs the box, "Well they have some unusual flavors, cinnamon, papaya, green tea . . ."
"Green tea, let's try that," she says.
They switch out the lollies and she sits back with her eyes closed. "Better."
"Good, just rest Baby," he whispers as he runs his hand down her glossy hair.
He cuts his eyes over to Pops one row up and across the aisle looking back with concern. Edward gives him a nod and a reassuring smile.
Carlisle turns forward and Edward smiles when a feminine, "Oh, thank God," drifts over the rows of seats.
A few moments later a ping has Edward opening his eyes and reaching for Bella's seatbelt. She opens her eyes reluctantly.
"Come here, Baby," he says pushing up the arm that separates them. Leaning against the windows he puts a leg up on the seats. She lays between his legs and drapes over his torso, facing the seatbacks. He kisses her forehead and drapes the blanket over them. She sighs contentedly as his eye catches the older couple across the aisle staring in disapproval. He holds their eyes as he tucks the blanket around her shoulders.
They look away.
"That's what I thought," he mumbles as he closes his eyes, resting his cheek on his love's head.
~o0o~
When the refreshments cart rolls through, he shifts under Bella in an effort to wake his numb ass without rousing her. He quietly orders a Coke and a snack tray whose smell won't stir her nausea. As he eats pieces of cheese, apple, and crackers, he replays the early morning hours at Mom and Pops'. . .
"Hey Pops, we're here," Edward called as he towed Bella into the living room where they heard voices.
Carlisle didn't look up as he studied flights on his laptop.
"Oh, good, I've made reservations for you and me on the red eye this morning. I'm printing out the tickets now. Get yourself a cup of coffee. We'll be leaving in about two hours." He said motioning to the kitchen.
Edward movedtoward the kitchen, but Bella stood immobile. He dipped down to see her face locked away from him.
In alarm, he tugged her arm, getting her reluctant attention.
Once in the kitchen, with what seemed to be becoming their modus operandi, he picked her up, sliding her onto the counter.
With a bit of frustration, born from a combination of lack of sleep and the impotent feeling of trying to read this woman, he stepped between her legs and huffed, "Talk to me."
She looked up at his tone and jutted her chin in defiance.
Too tired to step into the ring with her, he rubbed his face with calloused hands.
She's pulled away two times now in as many hours.
He dropped them to her thighs and ran them softly up to her hips. Leaning in with a light kiss, he chose a different tack.
"Sweets, please talk to me so that I can help," he said softly as he ran his nose along hers.
When he felt her fingernails run along his collar and into his hair, he knew he handled this right.
He's learning.
With him close, she felt safe to let her words loose.
"Are you going without me? Are you flying to Nevada without me?" she asked.
"Bella, Baby, we just got here. Let's get a cup of coffee and I'll sort everything out. Okay?"
"I'm not staying here. I'll hitchhike if I have to. It'll take longer, but I'll get there." She said matter-of-factly.
He watched her as she spoke. She was serious, planning her next move. He felt the heat of anger rise in him and canceled it before it could actuallyget started. Anger never won with her. He reminded himself she's not running. She's young, used to making her own way, and her tenacity is a well-crafted trait of self-preservation.
"Sweets," he said when he was in control, "are you with me? Are we in this together?"
She stared at him.
"Under the mistletoe, did we commit to each other?" He dipped down catching her eye.
She nodded.
"If that is the case, I'm thinking we can find answers together," he said.
She nodded again and then he saw it register with her.
"I'm sorry, Moondoggie. I just need to get to Dunny and Bob and you excluded me."
She stumbled over her words.
"Sweets, I did not exclude you. Pops made assumptions. If you had talked to me instead of running in your own direction you would know that the arrangements made will not do," he defended.
"I didn't run," she started.
"You were standing right next to me, but you had already left me, Sweets," he accused.
She opened her mouth and abruptly shut it, looking into his eyes with a mixture of hurt and fear tangling with the regrets swirling in their depths.
He stepped closer, keeping her gaze.
"Baby, if we are in this together, we need to learn to trust each other. You need to trust me to always be in your corner, putting your needs first," he swallowed thickly, "and I need to get past my fear of you running."
"I'm not running, Moondoggie," she hesitated in thought for a moment, "I just forget that I don't have to be alone anymore. I've always been alone, Moondoggie. It's a hard habit to break. I want to share and lean on you—and be strong enough to have you lean on me too."She ran the back of her hand down his scruffy cheek, "I'm sorry if I hurt you."
"We're going to get there, Sweets," he said as he brushed her hair back into a low ponytail. He used it to angle her face up toward his, "just talk to me before you take on the world alone, okay?"
"K," she whispered.
He smiled as he leaned in licking her lower lip before covering her mouth with his. She moaned, wrapping her legs around his hips as she ran her fingers through his hair.
He released her hair and tucked his hands under her ass, pulling her to the edge of the counter and into him.
"Awe, come on!"
They broke apart and Edward angled his body in front of Bella's. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head between his shoulder blades.
Alice stood with her hands on her hips, grinning.
"You two are like a couple of rabbits, I swear. I'm getting coffee and backing out, carry on."
Edward smirked at his sister and lifted Bella's hand resting on his stomach, kissing it.
Alice retreated laughing, no doubt to go tattle. Some things never change.
"Come on, Baby, let's get out there and straighten out everything," he said, helping her down from the counter.
He went to the fridge as she poured two mugs of coffee. He poured her cream and she kissed his cheek as she stirred.
~o0o~
"I'll do it, Mom," Alice said, coming down the stairs.
She placed the monitor on the coffee table and continued, "All the plans have been made and RSVPs have come in. The caterer and event planner will do most of the work. I can oversee the New Year's Party just fine. Go with Pops."
"Are you sure?" Esme leaned forward.
"Sure," she shrugged.
Esme looked to Carlisle, "Bella's going. I'm going too."
Carlisle squeezed her hand, "Go pack."
From his seat on the couch, Jasper worked doggedly to line up two more tickets for the same flight.
~o0o~
"Bella dear, you don't look so good," Esme put her hand on Bella's shoulder just as she leaned over the sink and threw up.
"Oh, Bella!" she held the girl's hair back as she threw up again in the restroom sink.
"I'm sorry, Esme, so sorry," Bella mumbled.
Bella washed her mouth out and straightened to look at Esme in the mirror.
Esme smiled at the ashen face with the red-rimmed eyes, "Don't you worry at all. If you're over the nausea, let's go find Carlisle. He can get you what you need to help you through the flight."
She took Bella's arm and led her out to the men waiting at the gate.
~o0o~
Edward kisses the hair of his sleeping beauty at the thought of how awful she looked as Mom towed Bella to him. She was so small and pale. She's always brought out the protective side of him, but this morning, seeing her sick for the first time; it was a gut-wrenching feeling of impotence.
Edward adjusts the blanket around her shoulder.
She's not really sick, just nerves.
It's been a tough time for her.
She's worried about Bob.
He shakes his head, bone weary, as he looks down at her sleeping form.
She's safe and comfortable for now.
He closes his eyes and sleeps.
~o0o~
The ping of the seatbelt sign rouses them. Bella sits up rumpled and toasty. He moves slowly as 'pins and needles' attack his ass.
She throws her hair behind her shoulders. "Pop me, Baby," she says.
"Excuse me," he says in surprise.
She laughs. It sounds so good to him.
"Can I have another lollipop? My tummy's wobbly now that I'm moving around," she says.
"Yeah, green tea?" he asks.
"Yes, please," she says, closing her eyes.
He unwraps one, holding it as she wraps her sweet lips around it once again.
When he doesn't release it, she opens her eyes.
"You know that I love you, right?" he says with his eyes boring into hers.
She smiles and gives him an Eskimo kiss. "Yes, I know and I love you," she coos.
She raises the armrest between them as he clicks his seatbelt.
He automatically lifts his arm for her to slide under. She melts into his side and kisses his jaw lingering to run her teeth over his scruff.
"Moondoggie?" she whispers in his ear.
"Mmm, Baby?"
"Thank you for last night."
"It was a nice dinner, I enjoyed it too."
"That was nice, but," she smiles shyly before tucking against him and kissing his neck, "I meant after, when we got home."
"Oh—you're thanking me for that?" he responds with humor and heat creeping in.
"Moondoggie, I never knew—I just had no idea—will it always be like that?" she asks, kissing his neck again.
"Um, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, yes. Sweets, we belong together. It's like my body recognizes yours, and my heart and soul echo back to you. It's good, Baby, it is so goddamn good.
He pulls her into a tight clutch.
"It is, isn't it?" she smiles conspiratorially before she frowns, swatting his arm, "and don't take God's name in vain."
He laughs, the heated moment broken. As he leans to zip his carry-on closed, he glances over the aisle at the old man smiling softly at the in-flight magazine as he reaches for his wife's hand.
~o0o~
When they get to Reno in the rented SUV, Edward has them stop at a Walgreens where he proceeds to buy all the Queasy Pops they have in stock. As Carlisle continues on to the hospital, Edward cannibalizes the boxes, collecting all of the green tea flavored lollipops, twelve in total.
They pull up to the valet parking at North Nevada Medical Center early afternoon.
Carlisle announces, "I'll speak with his doctors." He looks in the rearview mirror at Edward, "you go on up. They may not let you all in the room at once. I'll leave it up to you to sort out who will go in first." He waits for his son to nod back in the mirror.
Unbuckling, he turns in his seat to look at Esme and Bella. "He's going to be hooked up to several machines. There will be many tubes, just comfort yourself that each machine, each tube, is giving Bob the help he needs. They look scary, but they are a blessing for our friend." He squeezes his wife's hand as he gives his daughter a wink.
The procession is somber. At the front desk, they part ways, as Carlisle speaks with one person in a professional capacity and Edward gets the clearance for them to go to ICU.
At the last moment, Esme asks to stay with Carlisle. Seeing how vulnerable she is, he smiles, tucking her under his arm, leading her to follow the nurse who is taking them to speak with Bob's doctor.
In the elevator, Edward wordlessly feeds Sweets another lollipop. She squeezes his hand in thanks.
Room 513—Edward stops outside the door and looks down at his Sweets.
"You doing okay," he asks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
She nods, "I'm better, Moondoggie, I promise," she says with a sigh before bracing and turning to face the door.
He smiles at her determination before placinghis palm on the heavy door and pushing.
Although it's the middle of the day, the room is cold, shadowed and full of hospital practicality. Machines running with cords and tubes surround the formidable hospital bed in the center of the room as light filters in from the stark bathroom and from around closed blinds.
A diminished form lies still in the midst of it all.
Having braced for this, the sight is expected by the couple—until a crumpled form is seen stirring next to the bed.
As Sweets pulls away from Moondoggie to go softly to Bob, Dunny sits up to take in the movement in the room.
Edward notices the altered state of his old mentor, now as diminished as his bedridden friend. Heavy bags and dark circles frame the sunken, red-rimmed eyes that search the room and land on Edward.
"Boy, you came!" Dunny's feral sob breaks the silence of the room as he feebly lifts his form from the plastic chair to shuffle to Edward.
Edward makes quick work of closing the gap.
Dunny falls into the young man's strong arms and weeps brokenly. Edward's arms bear him, holding him strong and true.
Bella watches tears slide down Moondoggie's face as he rubs Dunny's back and whispers words of comfort in his ear as his eyes remain fixed on the form resting in the bed.
She turns her attention back to Bobby, quietly, tearlessly; she bends and kisses his forehead. She straightens and brushes back his thin gray hair.
"We're here now, Bobby," she says softly.
She smiles as she feels the soft movement of a wrinkled hand beneath hers.