…
Faker
I am the bone of my sword.His body is made out of swords.
Finally, the tall man's expression changes. Instead of the stern expression, the expression of a killer, he previously had, I see now only utter disbelief. He cannot believe it. Of course he can't. Why could he? There is no way he can believe I already figured it out.
-- Aa~ah. Fool. Do you take me for an idiot?
Something like that……..I figured out long ago.
Steel is my body and fire is my blood.His blood is of iron and his heart of glass.
"--Do you think I'll let you!?"
The knight in red charges. He does not know exactly what is about to happen. However, he knows enough to understand that whatever is about to happen, will most likely hinder his chances of victory. And this is the one thing he cannot stand. Against the very opponent he is fighting against, that knight in red cannot allow him to gain a upper hand. Not after all what was done. Not after all that the opponent did.
And for the fact that he stands before him now.
I am the one opponent he cannot allow to gain even the smallest chance of victory. I know that, and I know the fact that he is about to kill me because of it. Yet I wonder why…..? Why does that desperation in his grey eyes make me somewhat amused? Maybe it's because I can imagine that I had exactly those same kinds of eyes many times in the past. But not anymore.
-- Now there is only steel.
I have created over a thousand blades.He survived through countless battles.
Without regret. Without emotion.Not even once retreating. Not even once knowing mercy.
The pair of twin-swords cuts the air, aiming for my neck. However, they are blocked by the gigantic axe-sword that is made out of stone far too tough for them to cut. With a single swing, I force the attacker to back down. After all, this massive weapon's reach is far more, and such a simple, desperate move is easy enough to predict. And because of the strength of the monster I copied, even the knight in red has to retreat, as otherwise, he would lose his own arm.
I told you already, Archer. It is too late. The moment you two arrived here, your defeat was sealed. The fact that I allowed you to get this far only means that.
You two are……….the final obstacle in my way.
Withstood pain to create weapons, burning the path behind me.He needed no one else. Climbing up the hill of swords.
"Emiya Shirou--! Even you can't be so stupid as to believe that even if you bring that out, you can match my world. The world of Emiya Shirou who had a lifetime to hone his skills!"
It seems that Archer is really annoyed with me. Fine. I guess it's just fair. After all, he is annoying me too. A failure of a future, something that sickens me even to see. That Emiya Shirou is nothing more than a half-hearted fool who never once truly accepted the burden of a superhero. That Emiya Shirou was not the son of Emiya Kiritsugu…..
……….No. Even that is wrong.
"That meaningless banter of yours will get you nowhere", I answer to him. "A Heroic Spirit full of nothing more than regret…….you're even failure as a Faker. You tell me you've honed those skills to a perfection, but even a child can see the truth…."
That's right. Even King of Heroes said it to me, cursing me as he died. He called me the true Faker.
"……wha--at?" Archer is astonished. I can guess I cannot blame him. But still, even he should realize it…..
My mind has long since turned to steel.Thus, my life has only one meaning.
"You never managed to perfectly copy our father. Unlike you, I am him………Emiya KiritsuguFaker."
There is nothing but unlimited blade works.My body is made out of nothing but swords.
Once I cast that true name, everything breaks. But at the same time, everything is put back together again. My magic circuits, most of which have been unused till lately, flare up as prana gushes to them. I forcibly extract that prana from the girl I made a contract with not long ago, and whom I now use to match Archer perfectly even though he is a Heroic Spirit. No, it would be ridiculous to say that we were evenly matched in terms of prana.
Right now, I have access to a greater prana source than Archer will ever have.
Fire runs, drawing a large circle around us. Of course, since the world around us is already one of barren wasteland, swords and gigantic cogwheels, there is not much of a chance. Not at first, at least. Archer and the girl behind him looked stupefied as my own world merges partially with Archer's world. After all, they have the very same basic foundation. I'm not sure if it is so with other Reality Marbles, but these two Reality Marbles….if they are released at the same time, all one can gain is an amalgam of the two.
But that is alright with me. I need nothing more.
The world behind me changes, according to the wishes of the curtain of fire. The desolate land remains. However, the swords there change to my swords. Swords owned by Faker, not Heroic Spirit EMIYA. They are no longer his possessions, but my own copies, the ones that I saw with my own eyes in the vault of the Golden King. But the swords are not the only thing that tells of the difference.
Grey, ash-colored sky. Cogwheels that process the metal endlessly, a true steel manufacturing facility. Black clouds that fill up the transparent sky. Colorless land that holds not even the shreds of passion that the Heroic Spirit before me has. This world is dead, even compared to his world. After all, I have already gotten rid of anything unnecessary. This hill of swords is nothing more than graveyard, a place where I store the swords I will need from time to time.
This is the unlimited blade works.
"Truly, you really spoke the truth……you are no longer Emiya Shirou. You are just a Faker, with nothing of your own. Even your personality-- No. Even your self…..is that of someone else", Archer says to me with a gruesome expression.
"And what of it?"
"Your skin has become dark due to the ridiculous amount of projection you've done in such a short time……..you're wearing a holy shroud in order to keep inside the insane amount of prana that is leaking to you due to the contract you forcefully made……instead of the swordsmanship taught to you by Saber, you rely on such brutish weapon…….Yes. After such changes, it is easier to agree that you are someone completely different than the man known as Emiya Shirou", Archer agrees coldly.
And then he readies his twin-swords.
"-- And killing someone that is not him will be easy."
The red knight charges forward, and with his raised hand, calls forth ten swords from the ground. I tighten my grip around my axe-sword, and repeat the gesture with my left hand. From the grey ground, ten swords answer my call just like that.
-- Of course. This is supposed to be my world, after all.
We do not even wait. The moment I know that this world answers to my calls as I expected it to, I dash forward. That's all I need to know. All that is needed to ensure my victory. The victory that was possible from the moment I realized that both Archer and his Master were here.
"Kuhh--!!!"
The red knight grits his teeth together as the large axe-sword slams against his twin swords. I've replicated Berserker's strength, so I know that the strikes I deal are as lethal as his strikes are to me. But our melee is just one part of this large battle. After all, the swords all around us are there to be used--!!!
Crashing sounds echo through the otherwise dead plains. Noble Phantasm after Noble Phantasm hit its counter-part and disappears in a flurry of broken glass and steel. Those ten Noble Phantasms both of us sent towards each other are soon all destroyed, but they are joined by others. Every movement we make, that is not meant to deliver a killing blow to our opponent, is to call these swords. That is what keeps up the storm of blades around us, and the ever-present cacophony of breaking swords.
That cacophony……is supposed to be equal. In this world, even with the near-infinite prana I have and the sacrifices I've made, the best I could achieve would be "near-equal" to Archer. However….
"B-bastard……!!" Archer curses my name, as one of the swords buries itself deep into his shoulder, causing a momentary stop in his movement.
I use that small opening to my advantage mercilessly. My large axe-sword drives its way through of Archer's defense, ripping a deep wound into his chest, and destroying a large part of his black armor. The red knight curses and jumps back, faltering only a little due to the force of the strike. But even if he tries to get away, I won't let him. The swords behind me increase in number, and after launching them, I myself enter the melee once again by thrusting the large sword towards my enemy.
It is very simple. The fact that why Archer is losing is only his own fault. Unlike me, the one who became Emiya Kiritsugu, he still has something he needs to protect. A machine like me has nothing like that, and thus, he cannot use that to his advantage. But he……..
He foolishly brought his Master, Tohsaka Rin, to this battle.
-- What followed was the finalization of my victory.
If there is one person Archer cannot allow to die, it is that girl. After suffering through countless hardships, that girl became practically insane, just as the priest told me. Her only salvation is to acquire the Holy Grail, the very thing for which she sacrificed all that she had. In other words, if Archer wants Tohsaka Rin to become the victor, he needs him to get her hands on the Holy Grail.
That is something I cannot allow. That Holy Grail is a thing that needs to be destroyed. A cold magus like Tohsaka Rin cannot be allowed to have it.
So, I have to kill her.
-- And that's why I will win.
Because Archer has to protect Tohsaka Rin. And because I have to kill Tohsaka Rin. I have nothing to protect, nothing that would distract me even the slightest. However, even if Archer does not need to protect himself like me, he still needs to protect his Master. And that is his downfall.
Little by little, my swords have been aimed more and more towards Tohsaka Rin, who is staying far away from our battle, watching us with a difficult expression. There is no way that Archer would not notice this. But when he did, it was already too late. If Archer lets even one sword slip past his guard, past the swords he has shot against me, Tohsaka Rin will die. However, that means that he has to concentrate on something else during the melee with me.
And when that happens, even my "near-equal" is enough to defeat him--!!
"Hah, hah, ha, hraaaaaa--!!" I punctuate my strikes with my breathing, and destroy Archer's defense with each strike. The battles he has been through recently are beginning to show.
First, suffering from the wound made by Saber.
Second, battling against full-powered Rider.
Third, barely defeating the white-skull-mask Assassin.
Servant Archer has been driven to the very edge, and whenever he parries a hit from the axe-sword, he loses a bit more of his hold from that cliff. Even in his world, a world where infinite swords reside, he will taste defeat.
- No time is given for drawing anything with major power
-- No time is given to come up with a plan that would work.
-- No time is given to take Tohsaka Rin to safety from where she is.
-- No time is given for victory. Servant Archer's defeat is already certain.
No matter how many Noble Phantasms he can draw, since they are forced to defend his Master, they are next to useless. Just bullets in shape of famous swords that shatter when they meet their exact copy. All these copies of these famed swords are reduced to just simple projectiles in this fight which's victor has already been decided.
Two more strikes. These open up Archer's defense completely, and I can hear him cursing. He does not have enough time to correct his posture, however, as he has to use a time equal to blink of an eye to call yet another four Noble Phantasms to protect his Master. But that blink of an eye is enough for me, I charge forward, ready to thrust my axe-sword straight into his heart--!!!
"Spirit and technique, flawless and firm."
"Eh……G-ah!?"
Impossible. The attack that was supposed to take Archer's life has been deflected. The swords that I saw before in Archer's hands were thrown away, but with a speed that far surpassed my own, Archer projected one more pair of those twin swords, and with them, directed the force of my attack straight to the ground.
The pair known as Kanshou and Bakuya. I see them multiply once more, as the ones that Archer had in his hands are thrown in the air. However, the previous ones that had been lost from Archer's hands now come at me from the both sides. Since I see the two that were thrown at me approach me, I deflect them and jump back. However, those other two were not perfectly dodged.
They draw blood. Two spots even fly to Archer's left foot and right thigh.
"Our strength rips the mountains.
Our swords split the water."
"Shit--!" I curse, and swing my sword once again, trying to deflect the pair of twin swords that I thought I had already struck aside. But it is to no avail.
Yet another pair of swords is thrown towards me, and they fly around me, intending to hit me from the back. However, I've exposed Archer's trick already, and I won't fall for it another time. I spin around, striking the two approaching swords out of the way, and immediately follow up with a attack to the front, that destroys another pair that was supposed to get me just like th-
"Aaaaarrghhhh!!"
The pain is that of Kanshou digging into my flesh. Archer used this chance to move to my side and deliver a dangerous slash right across to my defenseless ribs. The blood from his sword stains both his right hand and shoulder, but that does not reduce the smile on his face.
-- That damn……half-hearted……!!
"Ar…..cher--!!" I growl, and launch an attack forward, intending to take Archer's head with a one single, clean sweep.
"Our names reach the imperial villa."
I couldn't predict it. Straight from above, two swords strike me like talons of a swooping eagle, and draw long wounds to both of my shoulders. The blood that gushes out is enough to splatter on charging Archer's chest and waist. I drive the pain away into the furthest corner of my mind, and concentrate on blocking the next, oncoming attack.
The twin-swords and the axe-sword crash together, but this time, Archer does not falter. Why does he not falter? Did the fact that the continuously created pairs of swords surround me give him some kind of hope? Even though, if he slips even once, his Master will die….?
"And another….!!" Archer says with a voice that contains more power than before, and before I can react, Kanshou appears from behind my back, and cuts the flesh of my right hand. Archer catches the blade, even though the blood stains his left hand.
"The two of us cannot hold heavens together."
Once more, once more. I don't even bother counting how many pairs he has created, and how many have been thrown into the air where they would try to take my life. I move my sword with a speed that is not far from the speed that Berserker used, and frantically block all the incoming attacks. Those feeble swords are no match to this piece of temple, yet what they lack in power, they make up in numbers.
And that is the reason Archer is gaining the upper hand.
During what moment did I become desperate? No, at what point did Archer realize my desperation? That dark smile on his face tells me of my doom, tells me that even with all my planning, I would not make it. The difference between Emiya Shirou and Emiya Kiritsugu is just that. He is planning on using that gap as the power which will defeat me.
The power of Heroic Spirit EMIYA.
"Ha-hraaaaaah!!" Archer yells out, and in the flurry of the dancing blades, his Bakuya manages to slip through. It slices the flesh between my shoulder and neck, barely avoiding the lethal part.
Archer almost killed me. As I had to parry the incoming strikes from the air, he almost managed to cut my neck. The fact that the swords in my body are screeching, trying to protect me from the fatal strike. But still, my blood on Archer's left shoulder and face tell their story.
With next attack, he will take my life.
Archer takes a step back, and his swords cut the air. That slash is fast, faster than anything I've seen before. But at the same time, the last pair of Kanshou and Bakuya, the original one, falls from the sky, trying to pierce me. And they move with equal speed. Two attacks of equal speed, coming from simultaneously.
I have no way to dodge all of them. I would need four times the speed of them to surpass them. Archer knows that there is no way I could do that. And thus, this becomes his killing strike.
Heroic Spirit EMIYA announces his victory.
"—Two great men, sharing-"
"Nine Lives Blade Works."
Left foot. Right thigh. Right hand. Right shoulder. Chest. Waist. Left hand. Left shoulder. Face.
Nine targets have been chosen. I have marked them with my own blood. And that's enough for me. I raise the huge axe-sword with a speed faster than Archer could ever achieve just own his own, and deliver my own killing strike.
Nine Lives Blade Works.
A series of nine consecutive strikes that are too fast for the red knight to react to. Before he has even realized it, all his limbs are destroyed with pin-pointed slashes. His own swords, the ones that he was holding, are destroyed along those limbs. And as I move with a speed far faster than the one of the falling swords, I evade all those threats that were supposed to kill me just now.
The waist is dislocated, and the chest ruptures as the huge sword is thrust into it. Archer opens his mouth to yell in pain, but he cannot even do that. His lungs are long since destroyed, with the strike to his chest. No, at this moment, it is a miracle that Archer's body even manages to do such a thing as open its mouth.
-- But not after this.
"--!!!!"
The final strike. The one to the head. I take a step forward, deliver the finishing strike that literally breaks the sound barrier, and with a sonic boom that shakes the two words around us, I destroy the head of Heroic Spirit EMIYA.
There is no time for him to even die. His spiritual core has been destroyed, and Archer simply fades away due to the force of my last strike. He is like snow scattered into the rushing wind, into a gale that tears the small fragments apart and spreads it so thin that nothing remains. Such is the death of the final Servant in this Holy Grail War: Archer.
And along its master, the second of the two worlds around us fades away, leaving behind only the grey wasteland.
"……………………………………….ah"
I heard a small sound. More like a whimper than anything else. It came from a mouth of a magus that has realized she lost. The magus fell to her knees, staring to the spot where her Servant stood only a moment ago. Those sapphire eyes are fixated on that spot.
Well then…..
I guess I should take care of what is left.
I brush off the pain and walk over to the magus, still on her knees in the ground. The axe-sword that I drag behind me makes a small, rumbling sound as it draws a line into the ash-colored ground. But even that noise does not seem to wake up that magus from her trance.
No. What wakes her up is when that noise stops. In other words, when that sword is lifted.
"…………………"
The magus stares at me. I'm not quite sure what she is trying to say. Or is she trying to say anything? At this point, frankly, I couldn't care less.
"……………….Emiya-kun………" she utters a name that at one point belonged to me. But the one she is referring to is Emiya Shirou. Not the Emiya Kiritsugu and Faker I am now.
"…………I sacrificed everything for it…..even my beloved sister….and even after that…..I am not allowed to acquire the Holy Grail?" she whispers to me, as if looking for an answer. "What more could be possibly wanted from me? I have…..I have nothing more to give. I have lost everything. My sister. My pride. My feelings. My Servant………..Of course, I also lost my ally, too. The only boy I had ever developed a crush on."
That last line is clearly directed at me. At one point, yes, I was her ally.
"I tend to things my own way, so I'll need someone to act as my brakes. It'll be helpful if you can take that role."
I remember that the girl, who the magus before me used to be, said something like that. But that is a thing far in the past. Just another worthless memory that serves no purpose to me. It has no meaning whatsoever, and will be of no use when it comes to saving the people of this town. Tohsaka Rin became a threat to the people in this city the moment she killed Matou Sakura, and thus, she would need to be removed.
"Emiya-kun…..why didn't you act as my brakes? I needed….I needed someone there to stop me. Someone to stop me from killing my own sister…..my own little sister…….yet, when I looked for you there, screamed inside my head for you to stop me--!!!" her words grow more emotional, and those nearly insane eyes look at me. "……………………you just stood there, with cold expression, and told me to kill her."
The last part is nothing more than a whisper. But that whisper…..is enough to make me open my mouth.
"That was in the past. Now you are a magus. And I am a superhero. There is no questioning about what will happen next", I inform her. "However……….alright. I'll act as your brakes. One last time. It is time for a full-stop…………………………………….Tohsaka."
And with those, I raise the axe-sword above my head.
"Sorry, Shirou", she smiles at me with tears in her eyes. "But stopping now has no purpose. I already ran over everything that was dear to me. "
"I see."
And I bring down the sword. The dull sound cannot even be described as a thunk. All that it is, is the sound of a single magus dying. The last Master: Tohsaka Rin, has died. And with that, only I remain. The copy of Emiya Kiritsugu. Faker.
I am the victor of this Holy Grail War.
The world around me fades away as I realize my triumph. The ash-colored world disappears into fragments and completely vanishes, revealing what it was covering. It is a cave beneath the Ryuudouji temple, in the mountain that watches over the whole Fuyuki City. Here, the Great Grail of Fuyuki's Holy Grail War resides...and it is the last thing I have to destroy in order to remove the last trace of this ritual from this world.
Assaulted by a wave of nausea, I collapse to the ground, falling on my butt. My back luckily hits a large boulder behind me, and I do not fall on the ground. Getting up from that would have been troublesome. Instead, I am left there, leaning against the cold stone, trying to gather enough strength in order to get back up. But it is not as easy as it sounds.
Even with my back-up, my Reality Marble took a huge toll on me.
As I sit there, staring at the rumbling ceiling of the huge cave, the days that have gone by began flash in front of my eyes. The road of steel that took me here, the place where my ideal has finally come true. My ideal, Emiya Kiritsugu's ideal……the ideal of the child who was nothing more than an empty shell after that fire. I had to learn the harsh way about the curse of the superhero…..but I accepted it. If saving 100 meant killing 10….then so be it. In this world, no convenient fantasy exists. And in order to make one's dream come true, one has to be prepared to shape that dream according to the world around him.
Just like me. I cannot save everyone, that is for certain.
So, at least, I will ensure that those I see will not cry.
I will kill those that would harm other people, and kill them. If they endanger more lives than they themselves are worth, I will kill them as the superhero. Just like with the Matou family. As long as they existed, Fuyuki City would never be safe. That was why I knew I had to deal with them first.
It had to be the easiest part. Fuji-nee's grandfather was a yakuza boss, through-and-through. I visited his mansion under the pretense of wanting to talk about old times, like Kiritsugu. Raiga was always glad to talk about my father, since they had been good friends during the times Kiritsugu had still been alive. Also, in the past, I had maintained few of Raiga's hunting rifles, so I knew pretty much where the group kept their weapons.
Just how much can be achieved with trust that has once been gained?
In the dead of the night, I sneaked off of the Fujimura house, while carrying multiple guns, enough ammunition for the rest of the war and enough C4 to blow up the Fuyuki Broad Bridge, if I had concentrated it just right. And during this time, none of the members of Fujimura group suspected anything. After all, they thought I was Emiya Shirou: the boy they had trusted.
I was not.
The next part of the plan was also easy. If there is a human type as easy to use as C4 bombs, then it must be those who are bitter, vengeful and desperate. In other words, Matou Shinji. After I had created sufficient enough napalm in my new hide-out, I contacted Shinji. Of course, I had to get a new place where to stay, as the Fujimura group had most likely realized the weapon theft first thing in the morning.
-- This world is quite ridiculous, did you know? You can get information on how to make napalm straight from the internet.
When I told Shinji I had a plan that would allow him to have his revenge on Zouken, he immediately agreed. Desperate to prove his worth to the old monster, he wanted nothing more than to pay back for all of his humiliation. Thus, he suspected nothing when I asked him to take the stored napalm into the Matou household. I also asked him to keep his cellphone open in his pocket, so I, who had made a call to Shinji's cellphone, could hear what was happening around him.
-- The luck was on my side. When Shinji took the napalm to the basement of Matou household, Zouken approached him. He had just returned from a battle against Tohsaka Rin and Archer, and apparently, Assassin had been killed.
Even better for me.
The moment I heard Zouken ask about the package, I pressed the detonator. What followed was the grandest explosion Fuyuki had seen in a long time. And not a one made by Heroic Spirit. No, this was an explosion caused by human hands and human weapons. The combination of C4 and napalm in the basement was devastating. No matter how good of a magus, Makiri Zouken could not survive from that surprise attack.
The explosives that I had set up before-hand did their job. They annihilated the Matou mansion. And inside the mansion, the napalm did the rest. Those few worms that had managed to escape were burned alive, unable to defend themselves against the roaring carpet of fire.
-- You see, in order to kill a magus, you don't need fancy spells. You just need enough power to annihilate that magus completely.
It is strange. Even though I watched the Matou household's ruins burn to ashes, watching out for any signs of Zouken, I found myself feeling…….nothing. I knew what that place was. It was the house where one my best friends had lived. Shinji, who had been, in the past, boy who had actually protected me from those who kept pestering me about the day fire ran rampant on that part of Fuyuki City. Yet I felt nothing for him. It was also the house whereshehe been tortured for almost all her life. The girl whom I had grown to love over the years, first as Shinji's sister, then as my dear underclassman, then, as a woman………….I had destroyed the dark past of hers with that one, overpowering attack. I genuinely wondered if I should have felt that I had given a salvation at least to part of her?
Of course not. She's dead. How can there be salvation for anyone who is dead?
I did not erase that painful past of hers. I just erased any trace of it. Nobody would be able to find about it anymore. And thus, as far as the recorded history went, it was just as good as if it had never happened. However, I never erased those events, and that pain that had transpired.
But I erased it from the history. And that was the best I could do for her. Matou Sakura would be forever known as an innocent girl.
Not as what she was ashamed of.
-- That was my last parting gift to her. The underclassman that I had loved more than I could admit right now. It was what I needed to let go of that emotion that attached me to her.
The aftermath came only one day after that. I had moved to the Kotomine church just for that reason. I knew she would arrive sooner or later, and in there, I could prepare for her in peace. As the sun started to set behind the horizon during the next day, she truly did appear on that hill……..
Rider.
But before she could find me, she was found by the golden Servant. Ironic, isn't it? Even though she was bent on revenge, the only thing she found was death in the hands of a person completely unrelated to her. As the Noble Phantasms rained upon her, and as those weapons pierced her flesh, I think she saw me in the window of the church, staring at the scene of battle.
Those eyes cursed me. Her lips kept repeating my name, as if she had become obsessed. And most likely she had. The thoughts of revenge had made her insane.
Servant Rider died in the hands of the other Servant Archer. The one who saw me as nothing more than a mongrel.
But I gained something from that golden, arrogant Servant. I gained from him the weapon that would be used to win this war. When he spoke to me after killing Rider, boasting of his victory and belittling my skills, I found him speaking strangely of one peculiar thing. He talked as if I and that red knight would have had the exactly same skills.
I remembered then – He most certainly had wanted to kill me. But why? Why did we share the exact same abilities, the ability of copying everything we saw? Why did we share the same feeling whenever we looked upon each other, the feeling of hatred and anger? Why did we understand the moment we laid our eyes upon each other that we could not co-exist? Why……..why did Servant Archer scorn the very ideal of Emiya Shirou so?
-- I would have been an idiot not to realize it.
It made sense, if you thought about it.
I had chosen to become a superhero. And if I win, I will become one. And when one becomes a hero, he will enter the Throne of Heroes……the place from which Servants used in Holy Grail Wars are summoned. That was why it is obvious.
If Emiya Shirou becomes a superhero, then there is no reason why he could not become a Servant.
And when I spoke about this to the Golden Servant, he smiled to me in a way that seemed to mock me.
"-- Did you truly realize just now, Faker? It truly shows how dull the people of this world have become."
How hard is it to achieve something when you already know you will achieve it? It is as if someone assured you: "Yes, you will certainly reach that level, if you train hard enough. There is, without a doubt, a miracle waiting for you in the end". With that kind of guarantee, it is no longer a question about "if". It is a simply matter of "when". And so I turned my days into hell, one filled with nothing but projection and creation of weapons. If I wanted to truly become a superhero, then thinking about myself came only second.
Acquiring enough power to achieve my goals was what came first.
And that was what I devoted my following days for.
But even I could not do it without help. As magus, I am truly an amateur. I know nothing of the actual magecraft. Just about my specialty, one which would eventually help me win this war. But in order to utilize that specialty to its full potential, I needed raw power. An enormous supply of prana that I could use any way I wanted, whenever I wanted. I needed to make a contract with someone other than me, in order to acquire their prana.
Uncovering the process was fairly simple. Kotomine simply told me how, and even an amateur like me could figure it out in a day. What came after that was choosing the target. I knew that it was too soon to confront my most problematic enemies yet, even though I knew that the magus known as Tohsaka Rin would have had an abundance of magical energy I could use. But alone, I could not defeat them. And the only Servant I knew to secure my victory was the one with the golden hair, the King of Heroes……..and I knew Kotomine would not allow me to just "borrow" him like that.
So I needed a target that was even better. And a target that even Kotomine understood as someone who needed to be secured.
And so I went up to the priest and said:
"I need to secure the Lesser Grail. Borrow Gilgamesh for me."
Does the rest need to be told? There is no way that golden Servant would lose against anyone. He simply destroyed anything in his path, starting from those two homunculi that got in our way as we attacked the castle. After that, there was only a simple task to do.
-- Wait until the mad giant would die.
Berserker probably knew he would die. And he probably knew what we were going to do. That was why he fought so desperately, refusing to die even though his heart had been destroyed, his body pierced by countless weapons and his seeing not even the rage-filled fog anymore. Yes, even though he should have been dead, he kept on attacking against the threat he perceived. And that was why Gilgamesh had to concentrate on repeatedly killing the giant, again and again……….until he would eventually die.
But that was just how I wanted it to be. After all, the only way to surprise a Heroic Spirit……..is to give him an opponent of equal level to concentrate upon.
My bow did its work the moment I realized that Berserker would die. A Noble Phantasm, loaded to the brim with my prana, was shot forward. Gilgamesh had no time to react. After all, Berserker was just before him. Either he would suffer the attack from Berserker, or a one from my arrow. He chose the latter……………and was torn apart in an explosion that almost reminded me of the Matou house.
Needless to say, the two greatest Heroic Spirits died in almost the same time. Gilgamesh killed by my complete surprise attack, and Berserker because of his wounds. After the enemy he had concentrated all this time died, he could no longer keep on going. The black giant crumpled to the ground, shaking the castle with its fall, and stopped breathing. Both he and the golden Servant faded into nothingness, into the place where they had came from.
"………………..No, was it like that?" at this point, I have to question it even myself. Had it been exactly like that? Was that what truly had happened.
-- Can't remember. A mind that is made out of steel forgets everything that is not important.
But even if I don't remember everything clearly, I can guess. And some of those guesses are the type that cannot be anything other than true. Just like this one. Just like how I feel the connection between me and that small girl, the one who called me "Onii-chan". Connection to Illyasviel von Einzbern that I forcefully established, ignoring her screams for the sake of the world.
"K-khhh…." I grit my teeth together even though I don't want to. It's like if someone else had momentarily taken over my body, and forced it to tense up in an unnatural way.
I am not proud of the thing I did. But I don't need to be. A pride is something that Emiya Kiritsugu is not allowed to have. If I am to become him, then there's no need for such useless things such as those emotions. I will become a machine, steel, in order to save as many as possible. Everything else can be sacrificed for that very reason.
I know they can be sacrificed. I was ready for that the moment I made that decision. A superhero, true superhero, cannot hold on to such burden.
Then why is it…….why is it that…….I--
"They just don't stop do they?" I mutter with an indifferent voice, and press my hands against my cheeks. And of course, I'm right. They haven't stopped. From the moment I began to walk this path, they haven't stopped.
-- My tears, that is.
Was I crying the whole time? I'm not even sure. At what point did these tears begin to flow out? I'm not that interested by the fact that they actually are there, just by the fact that they appeared without me noticing them. It is just a minor inconvenience, something like this. If I bothered to cry for every time I, in the future, would kill for the sake of saving people, I would just spend all my days, weeping. Therefore, it is alright to ignore tears. I know it is alright to ignore these tears. It must be alright to ignore these tears. After all, salty water is not something I should be--
C-c-c-creaaak.
A haunting sound echoes in the cave.
It is the sound of creaking rust. Rusted steel that has been ruined by these ridiculous tears. I can't allow this now, can I? No, I need to make these tears stop, rub off the water. I cannot allow the steel to be ruined by all this rust. If that happened, the results would be……would….be…………….something not allowed for a superhero. If I am to persist as Emiya Kiritsugu, as the true form of the Faker I am…….then I cannot allow any rust. I need to erase it all.
So I press my hands against my eyes, as hard as I can. These tears just need to stop.
"--Not……..huh? Haha…..ha…….as I figured."
But it's of no use. They are not erased by something easy like that. Even if I rub, the water won't come off. After all, who has heard of a metal that absorbs water just like that? And these hands of steel, trying to clean the water from the face, no, from the body that has been slowly turning into swords……is as futile as trying to use scissors to cut a sea. It cannot be done. Underneath this skin, invisible to the naked eye, I can feel all those swords….as they try to claim their spot on the surface.
--I am the bone of my sword.
How truly ironic can some words be.
Therefore, if I am nothing but a sword………..does this mean that what was actually rusting was…..?
"No. No it's not. I won't allow it to be."
Even to my own ears, my voice is something from the throat of someone else. That is the voice of Emiya Kiritsugu, the Magus Killer. The machine that Kotomine had described to me. It is the sound of the sword that will cut people to save other people. The only thing it can do is cut the vast ranks of people who would endanger even more. A vicious cycle to the very end. The cycle that kept me alive for so long is something I cannot ignore. And since I long ago made myself steel, I won't regret it. Not at all. If saving two means killing a one, then it has to be done. Justly, and fairly. A superhero does not care about the personal reasons – only about the fairness of it all. So, in order to ensure that……..I have to be like steel. Just like Emiya Kiritsugu.
But Emiya Kiritsugu could wipe away his tears, just like everyone else.
That is our difference, and my flaw as a Faker.
But……..for the sake of those people that died that day, on that burning field, I cannot abandon it. Can I? Of course not. I can never abandon it. In order to make sure that nothing like that ever happens, in order to make sure that none of those fates are ever shared, as the sole survivor of something that I should not have survived--! I cannot……I just cannot….abandon it.
I……Faker. One with the mind of steel. I, who used to be Emiya Shirou. I, who try to be Emiya Kiritsugu. I am that kind of half-existence which only tries to save people. Therefore, it will be only natural for me to strengthen my resolve, right?
I am not there yet. I am still incomplete. And because of that, I will force these tears to stop.
"That's, right……………that's right. I will do that", I speak out, to the monster I soon have to destroy. "If I do just that….I can grieve, yet not cry a single tear that'll make me rust."
And so, I no longer grieve my regrets. These tears…..are simply making up for the hole in my heart. That is what I have decided. The contents of that hole have to be purged from my body in shape of tears….and so it will be.
I never had any regrets. I just grieved for the fact that I did not have them. My mind has long since turned into hard steel. There is nothing in this world that can break my mind. Even if that little girl who never once cursed me up to this moment would damn me, even if that young girl that I loved with all my heart would scorn me……I am nothing but steel. I am nothing by the bone of my sword. Nothing but a superhero.
Emiya Kiritsugu. The moment those tears became the result of such a worthless thing, I truly became…..Emiya Kiritsugu.
A machine.
"I truly pity you, Shirou. Even at this very moment, you deceive yourself. You even deny those tears that still keep falling from your weeping face."
W—what? The words that are not mine echo in the cave. And when I look up, to the source of the words………
A small girl. Standing there like a maiden from a snowy country, her red eyes bore into me, and on her face was an expression of deep sorrow and melancholy, and something bittersweet. It was as if she had come to see the conclusion of something, only to find it to be something she feared….and hoped at the same time.
"I-Ilya…." her name barely comes out of my mouth. After all, she supposed to be in my hideout, in the place where she would be safe, and would be able to provide me with all the prana I needed.
-- And there was no reason why she would, after all that, seek me out voluntarily.
"You've won, haven't you? Congratulations", Ilya said with a voice that seemed pained, almost as if she was trying to hold back something that welled deep inside of her. "Now, have you finally taken up the role of your father?"
"I have." In my answer, there's nothing but resolve. "I have become Emiya Kiritsugu."
"I see", she smiled in a melancholic way. "Then you utilized the help you got from me right."
The girl from whom I got all my prana from. The girl who had helped me to understand the knowledge I had gained in a way that I did not understand even myself. The girl whom I had--
"…..Why are you here, Ilya?" my voice is harsh, but it does not seem to affect her mood.
"I am the Lesser Grail, Shirou. You've defeated all the Servants that were in this War. Right now, it's a miracle that I am here to talk with you. So, why wouldn't I be here, where the victor of this Holy Grail War is? I am the Grail that you sought, after all."
………….I see. In order to see me one last time, she used all her willpower to hold back the power of the Grail that stormed inside of her. She, for some foolish reason, wanted to see me one more time, before she would lose her self. After all, she was just a homunculus. Just a tool of the Einzberns. And this was her mission.
"S-Shirou…."
Ilya suddenly grits her teeth together in pain, and collapses forward. I'm too slow to even catch her, and the small, white-haired girl simply falls on top of me. Even though some of the swords that jut out of my body pierce her delicate skin, she lets out no whimper. All I can do is to stare absentmindedly at the girl who tries to embrace me with her weak arms, despite the fact that all this time, the power that would be enough to open a pathway to the Root is tearing her up from the inside.
"I'm glad…..glad that I got to see you for one last time. And yet….I am sad. After all, I know that you will, eventually, meet the same end as Kiritsugu did. Nobody will understand you, or your motives. Knowing what kind of person you are….they'll all think you're ruthless. The fact that you have no reason for saving people……..except for that very act itself…….will be your downfall. People cannot understand someone like you Shirou. I want you to know, even if you understand it already, that the end you meet will be nothing more than……….than…..!"
--I know it already, Ilya. I saw it in his memories. I know that nothing else awaits me than that hill of swords.
"I understand that. So rest assured", I answer. If that's one thing less to burden her, I can do that.
"Good. Yes, that's…………good", she spoke, sounding relieved. However, she did not sound like she believed me. "Shirou, I'm having a bit of a hard time….keeping my eyes open. Are you still crying?"
Of course, I felt the tears that kept flowing from my eyes. I knew them from the very fact that I also felt the rust slowly seeping into my body, rust that would probably never go away. As long as I travelled this path, this rust would continue to gather, until it would bring me down just like it brought Kiritsugu down. Therefore, it's not something I should care about. It will continue to gather, regardless. Yet I was not the only one. No, even she cried silently, as if mimicking me.
But, even so………..I cannot say it to her. I cannot say the fact that my tears keep flowing to the small girl who tries to stay conscious, while leaning on to me. Her small, delicate body is shivering, as if she was in fever. And even so, she tries to seek warmth from this cold, steel-like body of mine. Just when did a person seek warmth from a simple sword? The mere thought is absurd.
Just like that other girl I knew, she too is seeking happiness from me. Even though she knows her life is going to end, she chose to spend to last moments with me, in order to make them as happy for herself as possible. I cannot understand it. I turned into the very thing that she hated from the bottom of her heart, and betrayed her in the same way as her father did. Both Emiya Kiritsugu and Emiya Shirou betrayed her.
No, I did something far worse. Yet why does she not……why does she not curse me? Why does she seek my non-existent warmth?
But perhaps I'll let her have the illusionary warmth. This girl is going to die soon anyway. The souls of Heroic Spirits inside of her are destroying what was actually known as Ilya. Such a small girl being a vessel for something like that……is really the cruelest form of irony. And even now, she clings to me, as if asking for something. Yet I cannot give her anything in return. I am just a broken sword, lying on the ground. There is nothing, nothing that I can do. If I just could…………if I just could….
…………………………………………………………..Why can't I?
I am Emiya Kiritsugu. A superhero.
I promised to myself I would not allow those in my sight to cry.
This girl has done nothing wrong. If there is a chance to save her, I have to grasp it. If there is a chance to save anyone…..I have to grasp it. In order to save the lives of those otherwise fated to die…..I will perform any miracle, even those which are deemed impossible. And if there is any chance at all that I can save this little girl that is dying in my arms……I will do it.
There's no doubt. Kotomine said it. I will win this Holy Grail War. However, after that, what I do with the grail is my own decision. And thus, if I destroy it…………I will also save Ilya.
"Trace……….on!"
I awaken my circuits, which already scream for blood. In the initial process, my left eye is destroyed. I see only black wall that suddenly covers it, but it does not matter. This body is dispensable. What matters, is that I act fast enough to save the girl that shivers in my arms.
I'm sorry. It may have been impossible to save you, Sakura………….but…….but…….
I WILL DEFINITELY SAVE ILYA
I drive the huge axe-sword into the ground, and force myself up. My feet dig to the rocky surface, making the swords that are already poking out creak. Yet, that is only a noise. It can be disregarded. Even when the activation of my magical energy causes my circuits to flare, and burn themselves to the surface of my skin, I choose to ignore the pain. It can be disregarded. My broken bones are reinforced by my magecraft, yet that only keeps damaging my body even more. But there's nothing to worry. I can just reinforce everything that's broken. If I just constantly keep on reinforcing, I am capable of acting normally. Even if my body tries to stop me from doing it….
I WILL DEFINITELY SAVE ILYA
"S-shirou, what are you--?"
"Shut up. Shut up for a while, Ilya", I say with my ragged voice, as I continue to take steps, one-by-one, towards the blazing magic circle that is the Great Grail. "I will now save you. So just shut up. You don't have to say anything. Wipe your tears, and stay silent."
"It's impossible….!! You'll just kill yourself! S-stop it, this wasn't why……this wasn't why I came here at all!!!" she half-screams at me, but I choose to ignore her pleading eyes.
"Liar. Why the else would you have come here? There is no other sensible reason", I say with a cold voice. "If you were going to die anyway, and had accepted that, then there would have been no reason to lengthen your final moments so much. Yet here you are, clinging to me, still alive. Are you trying to tell me that you really didn't want to be saved?"
Even if she herself tries to deny it…..
I WILL DEFINITELY SAVE ILYA
"Onii……….chan. I………..I………."
Ilya's words are slurred and near silent, as she digs her nails deep into my flesh. My steps take us closer and closer to the source of our problems, and with every step, I perform one of the processes needed to project what I need. It is not the real thing, but it is the closest I can get without killing myself. And it will definitely be enough to destroy the Greater Grail.
"Onii-chan, I……I…..I--!!" Ilya's voice was now louder, and she raised her head, forcibly opened her eyes, and stared straight into mine.
"What did you want, Ilya?" I ask from her.
"I want you to save me, Onii-chan!!"
Those are the words I've been waiting for. Something in my mind clicks, and in my eyes, I see the scenes of the past flashing by. All the battles, all the training, all that I lost to arrive to this conclusion…..I would be putting it on the line right now.Trigger off.I issue the command to my circuits, to my magecraft, and draw forth the copy from the only thing I have.
My own world: That grey hill of swords.
What arrives is a sword with extraordinary power. It is not the sword that she used, but very similar. I grasp the handle with my bleeding right hand, as I am holding Ilya with my left hand. And at that moment I take the final step, to the edge of the crater where the Great Grail resides in. With the last of my power, drive my legs to the ground, swing the sword up, and--
"……Alright. I'll do it. Ilya, don't worry….."
Get out of the way. This world needs no Holy Grail. When you are there, this girl cannot be saved.
"I WILL DEFINITELY SAVE YOU!"
The world is engulfed in a blinding light.
It swallows up the Great Grail.
It swallows up the face of the girl in my arms.
It swallows up my vision of the cave.
After that, I don't remember anything about what happened, any more. However, later, when talking about that day, Ilya would say only one thing. She too had been blinded by the light of the Noble Phantasm, but the last thing she saw had been etched into her vision.
When she looked at me, she saw a knight.
A knight in blue, standing on the hill of swords.
~Epilogue~
~Never After~
-- When I came to, I was in a burning field.
There had been a big fire, that was what I knew.
What had been a town, tormented by a war between seven people, was now a burning. Ash kept falling down from the sky, and it kept landing unpleasantly to my face. It was as if it was trying to keep me alive.
The sun had risen during the time we had been in the darkness. And now it was above, in the sky……and walls of flames that had been huge must have been dying down.
……..Of all the things in this place, it felt like I was the only one who had managed to keep my original form. Rest…….was ruined.
It must have been because I was so close to the origin of the explosion.
Because of such an absurd fact that should have assured my death, I was still alive.
But being alive is only one thing. Here, lying on this red ground while staring at the black clouds above me…..I cannot hope to be saved. As the ash and smoke try to force their way into my lungs, I am constantly reminded of what the truth really is.
There would be no savior for me. I am not so naïve as not to understand that.
-- I admit, it hurts.
"……….Sorry. I'm late."
At what point did he arrive? The boy collapses on his knees, but only from out of sheer relief. His face looms above me, and I can see the forced smile on his pained face. Even after all he did, even after destroying the very thing that would have killed countless people, me included, if left alone……..he was still unable to save most of the lives.
Instead, he got such a barren wasteland of fire to behold, as if to mock him.
Yes, this truly was the recreation of his past. And his true moment of birth.
Most likely, that priest would say that this would count as a rebirth. But he too is dead.
"It's alright, Ilya. You won't die. Even if I cannot save anyone else…….I will save you, at least", he says, his words accompanied by the sound of starting rain.
"I have given the sheath to you -- So you will, definitely, live. I promise that."
In desperation, he tore his own body apart to save as many people as he could, from this destruction he himself had created. The sorrow in him must right now be as vast as the sea. Something even I could not fathom.
-- But he has done nothing wrong. No, he acted in the way that most "just". Even if the end was like this……nobody can blame him?
Can they?
"Ah……." a breath escapes from my lips. In the midst of that falling rain, his crying face that desperately tries to find joy in being able to save at least me, I see it.
I can finally see it.
The beauty both the boy before me, and my father, spoke of.
"It's alright. It's alright now", I say with a whisper, and wrap my arms around him. "After all, I am now a sheath. My duty is to protect you, a sword. So, whenever……whenever you are drenched in a rain of tears, I will protect you from the rust with my arms."
If there is something I can do to save this boy, I will do it.
If giving him my love means saving at least a part of him, I will do it.
If forgiving him for the things he did to me means saving at least a part of him, I will do it.
If admitting my love for him means saving at least a part of him, then I will do it without hesitation.
"So don't cry", I say to him, and tighten my embrace.
"Don't cry, my dear, beloved sword."
"……………………………………."