"I'm bored."

"Well that makes two of us," Havoc deadpanned, scrubbing at his eyes with one hand. It was a little after three in the morning and they were situated outside Rebecca's hospital room. It was a fairly unconventional birth, with he and Riza taking it in turns to sit with Rebecca, ostensibly so they each could rest but realistically so they could switch out before she got too tired of either of them. Their five year old, Marcus, was at Mustang's for the night, but wherever Riza went her shadow was sure to follow. And her shadow happened to be twelve and mouthy.

"Did I take this long to be born?" Mae wanted to know, yawning hugely. She had, of course, been given the choice to stay home but true to form she wanted to be where the action was. Havoc loved the kid to death but he'd forgotten how abysmally obnoxious tweens could be. A while back he'd joked to Mustang that Mae was now the same age as Edward when he'd been recruited into the military. Far from finding this funny, the General had gone white as a sheet and spent half an hour locked in his office on the phone with his head in his hands and Riza glaring daggers at Jean.

It had not been a pleasant afternoon.

"No idea," he said. "I mean, I wasn't there. I know you also decided to show up sometime after midnight and your Aunt Rebecca was up all night waiting for you, so you definitely owe her one."

"What about-" she began, sitting straighter in her chair, before pausing as though thinking through what she was about to say. "Was anyone else there apart from Aunt Becca?"

He grinned tiredly. "Oh I think someone else might have showed up," he said, a hand on his chin. "What was that guy's name? Troy?"

"Ha ha."

"I think you maybe met him once or twice. Dark-haired fellow, lots of stars on his jacket? Thinks your cool for some reason?"

"Whatever," she deadpanned. "Forget I asked."

They were quiet for a moment under the fluorescent lights of the hallway. Havoc knew well that hospitals were places apart from time; the lights and people were unchanging. Well, mostly unchanging, he thought, as he spied Breda walking up the hall juggling three styrofoam cups.

"I told you to stay home," Jean said tiredly, accepting the cup which turned out to be full of coffee.

"Yeah well," Breda said with a shrug. "There was nothing good on the radio." He handed a cup to Mae, who sniffed it suspiciously. "Black coffee's your drink, right?"

"Yeah but hot chocolate is fine too," Mae told him, taking a sip.

-x-

"Please, please please please,"

The office was filled with the sound of last minute paperwork being gathered up, and Mae's soft begging at the General's desk. It was almost quitting time on a Friday and Hawkeye was delivering some last minute paperwork while her daughter did her best to cajole her mother's senior officer.

"I can't sign this, I'm not your legal guardian," Mustang deadpanned, glancing at the final paper she had placed on his desk.

"But you're practically the most important man in Amestris, after the Fuhrer," Mae reasoned, trying to hand him a pen as he crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Go try this on him, then: you'll probably have better luck." Mae rolled her eyes at the suggestion.

"He'll make me play him for it and I can never beat him."

"Well, I can't help you either. Have you even asked your mother?" the General asked with a shrug.

"You know she'll never say yes, she always changes the subject when I ask about alchemy. It's just a short term course and I'm doing really well in school this year," she explained. "I thought you'd understand." This child of the military really was getting to be a master manipulator, Havoc thought, watching as she batted large amber eyes at Mustang. Sure she lacked subtlety but she knew how to play Roy like a fiddle. She could ask for the moon and he'd find a way to bring it down for her.

"Look, Mae," he said slowly. "Alchemy is nothing but endless equations and hubris, mainly. You're far better off learning something that helps people, or at least pays well."

"I know I'm not some kind of prodigy like you or Uncle Ed but I don't want to do anything flashy. I want to go to Xing and study with Uncle Al and Aunt May," she explained. "I've been reading through some of your books and medical alchemy is really cool."

"When the hell did you read any of my books?" he demanded, and she shrugged, looking slightly guilty.

"Sometimes I borrow them. I always bring them back though. I've been looking through them for years, and I've done a few transmutations. Little ones," she admitted. Mustang leaned his chin on his hand lazily, regarding Mae as he might look at a fascinating alchemical circle.

"I can't sign the permission slip for you," he repeated. "Do you know what would happen to me if your mom found out? Terrible things, unspeakable things. Remember the time I got you roller skates before she thought you were ready?" Havoc winced – he was sure none of them would ever forget the roller skate incident.

"Will you – will you talk to her then?"

"And what makes you think that would help?" Mae rolled her eyes.

"She listens to you, Sir. She might not act like it but you should hear her sometimes, it's all "General this" and "General that", I think she really respects your opinion." Flattery would get her everywhere, it seemed, as Mustang sat up straighter and ran a hand through his hair, as the Captain reentered the room.

"Follow my lead," he muttered, and she nodded. "Evening Captain, what do you have planned on this beautiful Friday night?" Riza lifted an eyebrow at his flowery tone, a smile playing around her mouth.

"I'm not sure; it's Mae's turn to cook so maybe I'll get some reading done. You?"

"Oh that's unfortunate, you see I was planning on sweeping her off her feet for a night on the town. Since you seem to delighted by the prospect of not cooking I suppose you could join us, if that's all right with you of course madam," this was directed at Mae, who pretended to consider. Havoc started slowly gathering his things, interested to see how this would play out.

"I guess she can come, if she promises not to talk too much."

"Yes of course, leave those chatterbox tendencies at home and we've got a deal," Roy said, gazing at Riza evenly over his hands, steepled before him on the desk.

"I think I can agree to that," Riza said, with another of her barely perceivable smiles that nonetheless seemed to light up her whole face.

"Great," the General said. "It's a date."

"Oh shoot!" Mae exclaimed, snatching up her school book - without the form, which she swept into the General's lap seemingly by accident. "I forgot I told Aunt Rebecca I would babysit for her tonight! Oh how terrible, I suppose you'll have to just go without me." Jean thought that should he want to, he could have knocked Roy over with a feather, while Riza just gave her daughter a small wave, face almost suspiciously bland.

"Well if you promised. We'll miss you though."

"You'll manage. By mom, bye Sir," Mae chirped, turning to fall into step with Havoc, who had paused after donning his jacket.

"You realize we're not actually going anywhere," he said quietly as she took one of his massive binders filled with cases he needed to review before Monday without being asked.

"Keep walking, Uncle Havoc," she hissed.

"What's in it for me?"

"Free babysitting for a month."

"Two."

"One and I'll throw in an overnight trip."

"Deal," he said. They'd been wanting to take a weekend off to see Falman in Briggs for a while. "And well played," he added with a nod.

"Thank you, I learn from the best. What's for dinner?" Hardened con artist and all, she was still a teenager who was somehow constantly hungry. He reached out and ruffled her shoulder length black hair and she responded by ducking away from him and smoothing it back down with a motion that was familiar, though not from her, and not from Hawkeye.

-x-

BANG BANG BANG

Havoc almost jumped out of his seat at the knocking at the door. It was sometime after eight o clock and dark outside. He picked up his sidearm off the mantle and inched towards the door carefully, before snatching the handle and wrenching it open, and jumping back, brining the gun up and then back down almost as quickly when he saw who it was. Mae Hawkeye, face red and wet with tears, was standing on his doorstep with wide eyes on his gun.

"You scared me," he explained, dropping his weapon and clicking the safety back on. "What's up, kiddo? Everything ok?" Everything was clearly not okay but everything he knew about teenagers and this teenager in particularly told him to tread lightly. She looked like a frightened animal, and he kept his distance lest she bolt.

"Hey," she sniffed, looking around him into the empty living room. "Is Aunt Rebecca here?" Great, he thought, girl stuff. Perfect. This was much better than the quiet hour alone with a book and a scotch he'd been anticipating. He poured the scotch anyway, thinking he'd need it.

"She took the boys for ice cream," he said. "Can, uh, can I make you some tea?" Mae swept by him, dropping a suspiciously large bag on the floor near the coat rack with a thunk. Sounded like a couple changes of clothes and about five books, he estimated. This was serious.

"Sure," she said, sinking into one of the armchairs and putting her head in her hands. Jean closed the door and headed to the kitchen to switch the kettle on, and by the time he came back she was sitting upright, having dried her face and smoothed her hair back. She looked young, and she was wearing an expression he knew all too well.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked, and she gave him a withering stare that was ironically all Hawkeye, considering what she was probably mad about.

"I can't," she said in a long-suffering tone. "I mean, I just, I had a fight with mom and I needed to get out."

"Right," he said, leaning back and taking a sip of scotch. "Let me guess, girl stuff?" Mae snorted.

"You couldn't even begin to imagine."

"Right, of course not," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose in exasperation. When did she get so needlessly dramatic? She certainly didn't get that particular trait from her mother.

Another knock, and Havoc set down his glass in annoyance, before opening the door. It was Riza, of course, looking world-weary and almost like she'd been crying. Jean had known Riza for, geez, at least twenty years now. He didn't think he'd ever seen her cry.

"Hey. Is my daughter here?"

Wordlessly, Havoc opened the door and she walked past him, setting her purse on the coffee table heavily.

"Just wait until yours are teenagers," she said wryly.

"Well when they are, and they run out during an argument, I'll know to go look for them at your place," he said, and found he meant it. This earned him a sad little smile.

"It'll be nice to be the fun aunt for once," she said softly. "People always say parenting is hard, but no one ever tells you it can be heartbreaking." She shook her head slowly. "I didn't mean that. Not exactly."

"I know what you mean," Havoc assured her. He hated having arguments with his kids, even if it was just little stuff right now, like whether or not one should jump on the bed. Mae hadn't come out with it, but he could guess what they'd been fighting about.

"I'm the one who ran out," she confessed. Havoc inched closer to the couch and put what he hoped was a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Not now, but this morning. I was going in to work early and she kept asking me about – well it doesn't matter what. I owe her an answer but I brushed her off."

"Whatever it is I'm sure it's ...complicated," Jean said delicately. Her hand came up briefly to rest on his.

"Thank you," she said.

"Mom?" came a small voice from the hallway. It was of course Mae, face freshly scrubbed, looking thoroughly remorseful. "Let's go home," she said. Riza took a deep breath, and stood up.

"Good idea."

-x-

With Grumman retiring and General Mustang moving into his old office, their team was all but disbanded. It meant promotions and pay raises all around, of course, and Havoc was pleased to finally be given his own unit, but this last afternoon lazily packing up the office was bittersweet. He, Breda, and Fuery lingered, chatting and arguing over pens, while Roy finished some paperwork. Major Hawkeye had been conspicuously absent, a fact none of them had mentioned due to the stormclouds that had immediately gathered over the Flame Alchemist's head when one of the subordinates had asked.

The door flew open, and Mae stormed in and directly up to the large desk, the spitting image of her mother in a rage. Roy looked up, did a double take, and sighed.

"Oh hell," he began. "Mae-"

"Don't you even-" she spat, crossing her arms over her chest. "You fired my mother - how could you possibly-"

Jean exchanged panicked glances with Breda and Fuery. This was a situation he could never have foreseen - even in his paperwork-induced stress dreams he was the one being fired, never Hawkeye. He couldn't say he really blamed Mae for being upset; he personally was going to be having a word with his superior officer the moment the kid left, insubordination be damned. Mustang was massaging his temples as though he felt a headache coming on.

"She shouldn't be telling you that kind of thing," he muttered, which was of course the wrong thing to say.

"She didn't tell me anything, I know what termination paperwork is, and I know your signature!"

Havoc found himself in the unique position of both wanting to stay and see the pending Fuhrer of Amestric be torn a new one by a teenaged girl and wanting to be nowhere near the impending firestorm that was undoubtedly going to take place. From Fuery and Breda's shell-shocked expressions they were both frozen to where they stood.

"You know believe it or not I do have my reasons," the General said, voice quiet. "And I am planning to enlighten you but this is neither the time nor the place."

"Oh save it," Mae snapped, though the shaking in her voice told Jean that she was close to tears. He had no idea how Roy was still staring at her levely; he would have crumbled if she'd used that tone on him. "You're just a snake - all this time you've been pretending to care about us but now you're going to be Fuhrer you're suddenly too good-"

Behind the desk, Mustang's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You don't know what you're talking about, young lady," he said carefully.

"Well then tell me!"

Mae was completely beside herself at this point. From across the room Havoc noticed a few MPs peering into the office, looking for the source of the yelling, and he locked eyes with Fuery, who casually picked up one of his boxes and headed for the door, closing it behind him. Neither of the two at the desk seemed to notice.

"Look," he said, changing tacks, "I'm almost done here, go wait outside and I'll-"

"You can't tell me what to do," Mae hissed, "You're not my father, remember?" this seemed to hurt her far more than Mustang, who only looked deeply, unfathomably tired. She dropped her head into her hands, shoulders shaking with sobs. Roy reached out in what seemed to be an automatic gesture, pulling her into a hug, rubbing small circles into her back while she cried on his epaulettes. When she finally pulled away, sniffling, he handed her a handkerchief and regarded her seriously.

"There's a set of rules the military has in place," he began, and Havoc and Breda were suddenly both very busy placing stacks of documents and books into the boxes, "that forbids romantic relationships between officers."

"Oh," was all Mae said.

"I meant to discuss this with you," he told her, rifling around in his desk. "Clearly I didn't think you would find out when you did." Whatever he'd pulled out of his desk elicited a gasp from Mae, and her whole demeanor suddenly shifted. Havoc was too busy minding his own business to catch a glimpse of the object, but he had a guess.

"You know most people would start with asking someone on a date first," Mae told him shakily. "And she's pretty upset right now, even if she didn't tell me why, I could tell."

"I jumped the gun," he explained. "I was supposed to wait until after the inauguration. She'll forgive me though. Will you?" Havoc fought the strong urge to run out of the large office, but he couldn't bring himself to move, or do anything else to break the spell of the moment. Roy was clearly not asking for forgiveness for what had happened today and Mae, ever the clever one, could tell. It was a tense few moments before she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, choking back a sob.

"Of course," she murmured, and pulled away with a grin. "You know if mom says yes then you'll be my stepfather.

"No," he said, considering. "I'll be your father."