A/N: Based on Oh Fuck Me Running! By Cambrian Beckett. Apologies for any similarities but I am learning how to write…
I woke up groggy, cranky and lacking the pain of a righteous hangover as the sun shone onto my face from large windows. Except, that I don't have large windows in the one room box that passes for my apartment, and the bed I sleep in doesn't face a window. With a start I sit halfway up in my bed and have to pause to allow a wave of disorientation pass through me.
Looking down, I frown because this really isn't my body. I've gone from a short, overweight gentleman to a much skinnier, healthier looking gentleman. And I didn't reek of the booze I'd consumed last night. Which was something of a huge bonus. As my brain slowly tried to process all of this, the large ornate door to my room, chamber really, opened and a rather cute girl dressed in servants clothing crept in. Our eyes connected for a scant few moments before her gaze dropped to the floor before speaking quietly.
"I-if it pleases your Grace, your lady mother has sent me to help you get p-presentable for today's events."
I blinked at that, bouncing the statement around in my head for a few moments before settling on what was going on. I had probably fallen asleep watching Game of Thrones reruns and this was how my subconscious was dealing with the episodes in the background. Which meant I was still sleeping and this was all just a dream.
Figuring that this deserved a test or two, I gestured for the girl to approach. Which she nervously did, moving to the side of the bed and more importantly within my grasp. With a curious grin I reached out and grabbed a breast, fully expecting to feel nothing, but felt a pert breast beneath. With turned my look from curiosity to surprise and elicited a gasp from the girl. I doubt that had been entirely what she'd been expected from whoever the hell I was.
Tempted to go further, I really didn't want to see what kind of bullshit my sex starved subconscious could generate at this point. So I just settled for some light fondling before pulling myself up and out of bed. "Apologies for that, miss," I offered apologetically. "Testing a theory!"
"H-ha-happy to be off assistance, your Grace," was all she responded with before leading me to a room off to the side, which held a large tub of steaming water. It was apparently designed for a much larger man, but who was I to complain? It looked luxurious as all hell and felt just as heavenly as I slide into the water. I lounged back as the serving girl collected what she needed to clean me properly and began to attend to her task.
Lets just say it had a rather… positive effect on me and giving into the youthful hormones, I pulled her into for a deep kiss at one point. Which just elicited a screech as she pulled away. "Y-your Grace, I must clean you before the t-trial!"
Fuck! That was all the more respectable parts of me needed to override the… less reputable urges I seemed to be feeling. Gods damned 21st century mortals crashing against my obvious desire. Made me glad that the water was hiding some activity that was happening around my waist.
"Yes, well. Hurry up about it will you? Time is a wasting and you don't want me to be late do you?"
Despite this command, I spent a goodly amount of time enjoying a bath for the first time in my life. I was near about to fall asleep for a second time, this time in the bath, when the doors banged open and an aristocratic woman who looked all the world to be Cersei gods damned Lannister walked in. We started each other for a few long moments, neither of us entirely sure what to make of the other.
"Joffrey, what are you doing?! Eddard Stark's trial is in less than an hour!" Moving my eyes upward to her face, it was clear she was an unfortunate combination of disappointed and angry and it was all directed at me. Which prompted my rather inelegant response.
"Ya what?"