Two days later

May 1978

At Eileen's house

Since the day Florence had got there, Eileen could tell something was not right with her goddaughter. Florence was just not acting like her usual self; she was eating, going for walks every morning, and doing everything Pomfrey had ordered her to do, but something wasn't right.

Eileen saw her crying almost everyday – and that was not at all characteristic of her goddaughter.

And Tiffany was an angry house-elf, hating to see her Mistress so sad.

"Do you know why Flor's crying, Tiff?" Eileen asked.

"Because of him! Eileen's son!" growled the elf, "If Tiffany could put her hands on him..."

Eileen sighed, knowing there was nothing she could say to defend Severus, so she walked towards Florence, who was silently crying in the living room.

"What's bothering you, Flor?"

"It's probably just hormones, godmother. I've never cried daily before in my life and I just can't seem to stop now."

"It's not just hormones, dear," Eileen sat beside her, "Talk to me."

Florence's bottom lip trembled and her voice broke: "I'm so angry, godmother. I'm hurt and angry and terrified," she admitted, taking a deep shaky breath, "What will happen to my kids if my father wins the war? And to Severus? And to all my friends? Will I have to hide my children for the rest of my life? Will they grow up to never learn the truth about their dad?" she paused, "I'm so tired of worrying and crying! And I'm so fucking angry at Severus! He should be here! By my side! Making plans and worrying with me!"

Eileen pulled her to a hug, "Those same thoughts keep me awake at night too, dear. It kills me not to be able to tell my son he'll be a father. He'd be so happy, and certainly more terrified than both of us. But I know he can't know, because he was dumb and greedy to give up your love for money and power."

"I can't stop thinking about my father's threat," Florence looked at Eileen, "I don't know what I'll do if he kills Severus."

Eileen tried to hide her own fear, "Don't wonder about what ifs. The only thing you should be worrying right now is about these babies."

"I can feel they are fine, Eileen. The same way I can feel their father is not," Florence added in a small voice: "I saw the Dark Mark on his arm. And he told me he's happy with his choice, but I could tell he was telling me only half of the truth."

"I saw it too," Eileen sighed, "He was Marked two days after his birthday."

Florence closed her eyes and more tears fell, "It hurt to see that on his arm."

Eileen just pulled her goddaughter to another hug, "I was horrified when I saw it. I didn't tell you anything for I didn't want you to worry even more..." she said, tearfully, "There's nothing we can do for my son now..." she touched Florence's belly, "But we have these two little angels to think of," she paused, "Listen, I'll go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, there's an opening at the village's Day Care Centre and I'd love to work there. Why don't you come with me?"

"Sure, it'll be good to go to the village. I need to buy some more baby clothing. And candy! I really need some candy!"

That night, at Hogwarts

Severus was awakened by the heavy weight of angst in his chest; he had no idea why but he had been feeling angry and anxious all of a sudden and for no apparent reason during the past month.

He got out of bed and walked to the common room to try and get his mind out of that funk, but the sudden burning of his Dark Mark let him know he'd better get comfortable in the armchair for he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep soon.

So he sat on the comfiest armchair near the fireplace and stared at the dancing flames, thinking about the huge mess that his life had become.

He was successfully working for the Dark Lord, he had been branded as one of his loyal Death Eaters, he had money and power. All of the things he had always wished for.

He had even found a girlfriend that actually supported him being a Death Eater, to whom the sight of his Mark – which sickened him – was a turn on.

However, the cost of it all turned out to be much higher than what he had been prepared to pay.

He had not only lost Florence, but his worst nightmare had come to life: she was expecting Sirius Black's babies.

His girlfriend, Cassiopeia Rosmerta, was completely devoted to him, she agreed with everything he said and did, she worshipped the ground where he walked – and he hated all of that.

He missed Florence, the way she argued with him about their future, their late-night discussions about spell-casting and potion-making, and the uncontrollable need to make love to her whenever she looked at him or touched him in a certain way.

Florence.

He regretted the night he took Rosmerta to the Astronomy Tower. At least a week ago he could see Florence everyday – her angry stares were better than not having her around at all.

He closed his eyes, remembering the letter he had received from his mother inviting him to go have tea the following day with her in Hogsmeade. Dumbledore had given him permission to leave the castle, so he'd go.

He hoped Florence would be there as well – at least he'd be able to see her.

The burning in his arm stopped after an hour and he sighed in relief, going to bed, needing to rest to endure the consequences of his own shitty choices.

On the next day

Eileen and Florence walked down the main street of a sunny Hogsmeade; kids were running up and down the stone-paved streets near the main square.

"Soon it will be our two angels running around the square and having fun in the playground," said Eileen, smiling.

"True," Florence smiled too, "I can't wait to have them in my arms."

"I'm so happy they hired me in the day care! I'll be able to look after them every day while you study at St. Mungus."

"I'm happy too! I won't have to worry, cause I'll know they'll be with you," she briefly hugged her godmother, "Oh, Honeydukes! I need to get in there, godmother. I have several cravings!"

Eileen laughed, "I understand, dear. I'll wait for you at Madam Puddifoot's."

"Alright. I'll meet you there as soon as I get all the candy these babies demand."

Hagrid and Severus stopped in front of Madam Puddifoot's Tea House.

"Yer mother is waitin' for ye inside," said Hagrid, "Apparate to the castle's gates and send a spark into the air, after yer done. Then I'll go there to open'em for ye."

"Alright. Thank you," replied Severus, going into the Tea House and easily spotting his mother sitting at a table by herself, having a muffin.

"Hey, mum," he sat in front of her, "Is everything ok?"

"Hi! Yes, dear. I just miss you. I came to Hogsmeade to be interviewed for a job at the Day Care and decided to see you. Are you ok?"

He frowned at her, "You know you don't have to work anymore, mum. Why insist on..."

"Stop right there, Severus. What would I do all day inside the house? You know I love teaching, and working with little wizard babies is going to be a dream! You've certainly been giving me more than enough already. I'm doing this because I love it," she looked him in the eyes, not hiding her worry, "How are you, Severus?"

"I'm fine," he said, looking at the menu, making it clear he didn't want to discuss his wellbeing; he placed his order for coffee and a lemon tart and asked: "Why did you invite me here?"

"I wanted to see you and..."

"And?" he arched an eyebrow, "Why do I feel there is something else you're not telling me?"

"Because there is!" Eileen said, no longer hiding her frustration, "It's about Florence. She's not well. She says she is, but I know she's lying. She's been anxious and crying..."

He seemed suddenly angry, "Mum, she's none of my business! You should have called Black here, not me," he paused, making a face, "She's his girlfriend now."

"And whose fault is that?" she asked, equally angry. And when he didn't reply, she kept talking: "I know what you did, Severus. I know you are the one to blame for her getting hurt."

"It's not my fault if she didn't like what she saw! She's happy with Black now, isn't she? Why can't I be happy too?" he sipped the coffee that had floated to the table alongside the tart he'd ordered.

"Don't do this, my son," Eileen looked at him, the pain in his eyes was clear for her to see, "You love her."

"But that doesn't matter, does it?" he asked, furious, "She's pregnant with Black's children, he is probably going to propose to her soon," he started eating his tart, not wanting to talk about that anymore.

Eileen froze in her seat, quickly grabbing her wand and casting: "Muffliato." before demanding: "Who told you about her pregnancy?"

"No one. I was the one who took her to the Hospital wing, I saw the exams Pomfrey did on her right after she fell," he paused, the need to know about Florence was stronger than his anger, "Where is she?"

"She stopped at Honeydukes. She'll be here soon," she looked at the window, "Look, there she is."

Severus saw Florence stopping by the window for a few seconds before walking away.

"She's leaving?" he asked, with a frown.

"Apparently she wants to see you as much as you want to see her," murmured Eileen.

"I'll bring her back," he drank the rest of his coffee, finished the last bite of tart and left the shop, running after Florence down the street.

He reached her, touching her arm to make her stop, and she turned around to look at him.

"Hey, Florence. You don't have to leave. Go inside with my mother. She called me here, but I'm already leaving."

Florence felt the sudden need to step closer to him, to touch him to make sure he was still alive.

"If she wanted to see you, stay," she said, keeping both her hands on the large Honeydukes' bag she carried.

"Would you like me to stay?" he asked, taking a step closer to her.

"No. It's not that," she stuttered, quickly realising they were making a scene in public and word could easily reach her father, "I just don't want Eileen to get upset with me because I made you leave."

He looked at her, jealousy and anger mixed in his eyes as he glanced down at her belly, thinking she had to be using a spell to hide her pregnancy.

"Ok. Let's go inside, then," he conceded, wanting to spend a little longer close to her.

They walked into the Tea House, going to Eileen's table. Florence frowned when she felt the Silencing Spell around the table.

"What's with the spell?"

"Severus knows about the babies," said Eileen. And Florence glared at her godmother, but Eileen was quick to explain: "I didn't tell him anything."

"Then how could he possibly know? I asked for Secrecy for a reason!"

"I saw Pomfrey examining you when you fell," Severus explained, "The spells she used were very specific."

Florence slowly nodded, "Even so, you shouldn't have been able to conclude anything," she said, wondering if perhaps the Secrecy Spell hadn't worked on him due to interference of the Enchantment.

"Why all the secrecy?" He asked, disdainfully, "Are you ashamed of being carrying the dog's puppies?"

Florence and Eileen both looked at him with anger.

"Sirius's family is a follower of You-know-who," Florence quickly came up with an explanation, her voice filled with pain, "And Sirius is considered a blood-traitor. I'm just protecting my children. I'd appreciate if you could keep your stupid mouth shut about it."

"Don't worry. Talking about you and the dog is not on my priority list," I wish I could say the same about my thoughts.

He looked into Florence's eyes, noticing she looked suddenly surprised.

Did she hear him?

Florence? He said mentally.

She blinked at him, This is not possible!

They had been apart for months, that connection shouldn't be still forming, it shouldn't be getting stronger – but she was sure she had heard him.

Maybe she heard him because of the pregnancy? Some weird magic that made her able to hear her kids' father's thoughts? Or did it go both ways?

She decided to put it to test: If you can hear this, Severus, grab your cup with your right hand.

And as his right hand closed around the cup, Florence looked into his eyes.

How can this be happening? She asked.

He shook his head and replied: I understand this as much as you.

Then she remembered the dreams, the sexy dreams she had been having every other night.

Have you been dreaming about... you know... us? She asked.

What do you think? He arched an eyebrow, thinking of the last dream he had had where they made love in the potions classroom.

Florence blushed, she had dreamed that too, she knew what that meant: they've been sharing dreams - wet dreams.

"Eileen. We must go," she blurted.

"Yes, we better," she agreed, thinking Florence wanted to leave because of his rudeness.

"I'll return to the castle," Severus said, leaving two galleons on the table to pay for his mother's tea and his coffee and tart.

The two women walked slowly towards Florence's house.

"It makes me so sad the way you two treat each other now," Eileen sighed, "I remember how you were before all this... always together, kissing, touching, laughing... and now..."

"This is how it has to be, Eileen."

"I know. I understand," she touched her goddaughter's rounded stomach, "I know it's for the safety of my son's and of these babies'... but it hurts me to see Severus so sad."

"How can he possibly be sad?" Florence said in anger, "Poor him. How sad he must be while he fucks Cassiopeia," she said the name as if it was a dirty word.

"How do you think he feels when he imagines you sleeping with Sirius?" Eileen asked, frowning.

"Why on Earth would he think such thing?" Florence asked, confused.

"You're pregnant, Florence. You said the father is Sirius," Eileen replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh..." she blinked, "I guess you're right."

They reached Florence's house and walked inside in silence.

Instead of going straight to the castle gates, Severus disapparated to the park in Godric's Hollow and sat on the same bench he used to sit with Florence about a year ago.

He watched the kids playing in the familiar playground, their parents looking over them nearby – as if time hadn't passed, as if things were still the same.

He remembered Florence saying she found funny how muggles had no idea magic was real.

It's not funny, it's sad. He thought.

Ignorance was a blessing when it came to the muggles not knowing about magic and what was coming for them.

The Dark Lord would destroy them – he'd already started, actually, little by little, small county by small county. An unknown disease here, a poison dropped in the water tower there; hundreds had already died that year alone.

Severus lay down on the bench, staring at the leaves in the tree.

The children's laughter and happy screams reaching his ears and making him smile.

Closing his eyes, he played in his mind his favourite daydream: where he and Florence were still together, hand in hand, walking around that same park; their kids running close to them, two boys and a girl.

And he couldn't find the strength to open his eyes, for he knew the tears would fall.

Why didn't I listen to you, Flor? Why did I make the wrong choice? ...you warned me so many times and I ignored you. I'm such an idiot... I threw you into Black's arms, and now you're his. Not mine. Not anymore.

He sat up, forcing himself to open his eyes to see that the park was almost empty, some tears falling down his face and being quickly wiped away.

He thought of himself as guilty as Voldemort in a way; even though he'd never raised his wand to kill anyone since the night he passed their test, but his poisons were responsible for many deaths.

Severus sighed in defeat, wishing there was a way out.

The worst of the war had not even begun yet and he wanted out.

I am a coward.

He stood up at that thought.

No. Never a coward.

He would never be like his shitty excuse of a father – Severus Snape was no coward!

But he still remembered one of the worst meetings he had ever been to; how many people had died in front of him as the Dark Lord tested the effectiveness of his poisons.

Severus had been tortured for not making extra doses and had run to his mother's the following day, needing to see Florence, his heart begging to be close to her; he was ready to do anything to have her forgiveness then. Even though he knew he would never have it.

I don't deserve it.

He stood up and walked the path away from the playground, under the lights of the park, and he thought of all those muggles and muggleborns that were going to die simply because they were unfortunate enough to have been born outside of a magical family, a pureblood family.

People like Lily would be on that list.

And Florence's voice was in his head again reminding him she had told him that – she had warned him that there would be more than just detentions out there for when he misbehaved.

I'd better get used to it.

He knew if he left the Dark Lord's circle, he'd be hunted down and killed, or tortured for being a deserter and then killed.

There was no way into the Order Of Phoenix either, for he had the Dark Mark on his arm.

There were no options left for him, the time to make choices was over, all there was left to do was to live with the consequences