Just so you know, we already know what's going to happen in the story. We plotted it out from the beginning. Please stop posting comments on what should happen in the dance. I'm sorry if I sound rude, but we've been getting way too many suggestions, and I just don't want to disappoint you guys. We will be adding an epilogue to say who actually got paired with who, so look forward to that.

Also, sorry for taking so long to update this and all my other South Park fan fictions. With changing interests, depression, life and all that nonsense, I am not posting as much as I would like. We will be finishing all of our stuff, including this, so please bear with my sister and me. Thanks!

Chapter Nine – You Call This Fun?

"Craig," Stan growled, sitting down across from his rival.

"Stan," Craig greeted coldly, folding his arms as he too sat down.

Stan wanted to keep his angry staring contest going with Craig for as long and as silently as possible, but he noticed that Craig was barely looking at him. He was instead narrowing his eyes at something past Stan's shoulder. Curiosity got the better of him and he spun around in the chair, trying to find what Craig was glaring at. All he saw was Kenny and Henrietta at their own table, looking bored, Mr. Mackey breaking up a couple that was already beating the shit out of each other, and Tweek and Clyde, both looking nervous and awkward.

"What are you looking at?" Stan asked, turning back around. Craig's eyes briefly flashed in his direction.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he growled.

"Yes, I would," Stan responded, rolling his eyes. "That's kind of why I asked."

"I can't believe Clyde and Tweek got paired together," Craig snarled, keeping his eyes on the other table. "They have nothing in common! And Tweek's my boyfriend! Not his! What was this bullshit test?"

"I know right?" Stan sighed. "I know I said that I preferred girls on my test! Why would the computer think to hook me up with you? Especially you! We have nothing in common!"

"That's what I was thinking," Craig replied, nodding. "I just want to get this whole thing over with. I didn't even want to take that stupid test in the first place, but Clyde made us."

Stan wished that he could claim that one of his friends had forced him, but he had definitely been the one to coerce Kyle into taking the test. He didn't need to even turn his head to know that his best friend was glaring daggers at him right now. He could feel the heat from Kyle's rage burning a hole in the back of his head.

Looking around, Stan realized that hardly anyone was talking. Or even looking at their partner. He saw Kevin telling a story to Heidi, who was nodding along. He couldn't see the look on her face, but he wouldn't be surprised if she looked insanely bored. Red was also chatting away, but Pete wasn't even attempting to hide his disinterest for her. The only two who were having an actual conversation was Wendy and Butters. And that bothered him. Butters wouldn't try to steal Wendy from him… would he?

"Now look who's staring," Craig taunted. Stan quickly whipped back around.

"I wasn't staring!" He defended himself.

"Uh huh," Craig said, folding his arms.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," Stan growled. "I'm just… glad that Wendy got someone she can actually get along with. And it's not like I'm worried that Butters might try to steal her or something. I mean, it's just a stupid test. It doesn't prove anything. And I completely trust Butters! He's my friend! He would never betray me like that! Especially right in front of me. I'm just curious about what they're talking about! That's all!"

"You know, the amazing thing about you is that you can go on a rant to a question I never asked," Craig said in his snarky, deadpan voice. Stan glared at him but didn't want to dignify him with a response, so he just angrily started munching on the salad that had appeared in front of him during his rambling.

Meanwhile, Kyle and Cartman were trying to look anywhere except at each other. Cartman was still furious with Butters for pairing him up with not only the wrong person, but his most hated enemy! And Kyle was still trying to set Stan on fire with his mind for forcing him to take that stupid test in the first place.

"This sucks," Cartman growled eventually. "Stupid Butters."

"What did Butters do?" Kyle asked, glancing at him.

Oh shit. That was supposed to stay in his head!

"Well, look at him!" Cartman stuttered, gesturing towards him. "Why does he get to have a nice time and enjoy his date while I have to suffer with you?!"

Yeah! Nice save!

Kyle glared at him. "Yeah, like I'm overjoyed to be stuck with you," he growled. "I didn't even want to do this! I wanted to stay home and do absolutely nothing! Now, not only do I have to go, I have to go with your fat ass." Cartman narrowed his eyes.

"I'm warning you, Jew," he snarled. "I'm already in a foul mood, but if you do anything to embarrass me in front of Heidi, I am going to murder you and use your body parts for soup!"

"You don't need me to embarrass you, Fat Ass," Kyle replied. "You do that perfectly on your own." Cartman slowly bared his teeth at him.

…

"May you live long and prosper," Kevin said as he finished his long, boring story about who cares. "It was amazing! I was in tears!"

Heidi nodded along. Not because she was actually listening. But because she was on the verge of passing out from boredom. She actually had fallen asleep twice now, but Kevin was so wrapped up in his story that he didn't even notice.

I sure hope the other girls aren't suffering like I am, Heidi thought, coming to long enough to glance around the room. Butters and Wendy were still talking while eating, and Bebe was enthusiastically telling a story to a terrified looking Token. Red was smiling flirtatiously at Pete, who was looking at everything except her. And it appeared that Nichole and Scott were making awkward small talk.

She really regretted asking Kevin that question. She couldn't even remember what she had asked him that caused him to launch into describing every single Star Trek episode in excruciating detail. Maybe it hadn't even been a question. Maybe she had said something like "nice shirt." Either way, she hoped something interesting would happen soon to keep her from being bored to death.

Suddenly, a fight broke out two tables away, and when she turned around to see what was happening, she saw that Cartman had tackled Kyle and was trying to strangle him. Kyle was clawing at him, trying force him off of him. Heidi immediately jumped out of her seat and rushed over to them.

"Erik! Get off of him!" she growled, trying to pull him away. "What are you doing?"

"I'm defending your honor!" Cartman lied, refusing to let go of Kyle's neck. "This asshole was trying to insult you and was calling you a slut!"

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that?" Heidi snapped. "Just let him go already."

Cartman glared at him before finally releasing Kyle, who took large, gasping breaths. Cartman had hardly stood up, however, when Mr. Mackey was taking him by the ear and dragging him to the designated "Naughty Corner." He squealed with pain all the way there.

"Thanks, Heidi," Kyle said in a quiet voice. Heidi smiled down at him and offered a hand.

"No problem," she replied. She pulled him to his feet and they found themselves extremely close to each other's faces. Then they both quickly took a step away from each other and Heidi could feel her face heating up.

"Um, I should probably get back to my… to Kevin," she mumbled. Kyle sighed.

"Yeah," he replied. "At least I'll have a few minutes of peace and quiet now." He kept his eyes off of hers as he made his way back to his table. Heidi let out a sigh and turned back to her own table, intending to apologize to Kevin for suddenly leaving him like that, only to realize that he was still talking and in fact had not even noticed that she wasn't there.

"I think he likes you!" Someone said as she walked back over, making her jump. She turned to see Bebe smiling suggestively at her.

"Who? Kevin?" She asked, gesturing towards him.

"No, silly!" Bebe giggled. "Kyle! He totally likes you!" The blush on her face deepened.

"Wh-What? No he doesn't!" she replied in a voice that was just a bit louder than she meant. "He was just thankful for helping him out!"

"Uh huh," Bebe replied with an all-knowing grin. "It's way more than that! Trust me! I know these things! I'm very in tune people's feelings like this." Heidi gave her an unamused look.

"You've been squeezing the life out of Token's hand and Nichole has been giving you the death glare from across the room," she pointed out to her.

"What?" Bebe glanced over the table at Token, who had been silently crumbling with pain as he tried in vain to pull his hand out of Bebe's grasp. Then she glanced towards Nichole's table to see that she was practically on fire with rage and glaring at her, while Scott comfortingly patted her hand. She turned back to Heidi. "What's your point?"

"Oh my god," Heidi sighed, walking away without answering.

"Alright, students, everyone back to your seats!" PC Principal announced. "The event is about to begin! Dinner is served!"

I'm going to end this here and my sister can take the rest of the dinner. Yes, I know it's short for how long this took, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging any longer. We have received your messages and wanted to deliver! I hope you enjoy it! And thank you for being so patient with us! We love you and hopefully we'll get the next chapter out sooner!