Like I said , Donnas death was the catalyst that caused the destruction the whole town would be thwarted into.

In the midst of Donnas wake - The sons of anarchy pledge an uncanny allegiance.

Opie became recluse barely even functioning. Piney and Opies mom had to help raise the kids.

We took turns ensuring the kids were shrouded in love and never saw what their father had so understandably become.

I didn't know much about the intricacies of the club nor did I ever want to. That was Taras area. She was the doctor , she got Brought in when someone needed patching up and she was the one that was kept in the loop.

I knew my place. I knew where I stood and I kept it that way.

This past week saw everything ripped at the seams. What I thought I knew was obliterated along with the mentality the sons had kept which maintained peace amongst our town and neighbouring cities.

Donnas wake was , heartbreakingly beautiful. She was loved. She just never saw it. We got it though. She was a single mom for 5 years. 3 kids and no way to make ends meet because her pride wouldn't allow us to help. She knew what she was getting into. Everyone knew what came with loving a Son. You rode for your man , you kept your mouth shut and did your duties. Old school.

The weeks had passed and the tensions were high. There were whispers amongst the club but not one word was spoken aloud. You'd probably be shot on the spot in all honesty.

I wasn't focused on Jax , I had become fixated on trying to get through to Ope. It wasn't working but I stayed , I couldn't quit on him. After every episode he had I was there , I hugged him and cried with him as he violently sobbed.. every fucking night. I was starting to sleep at the clubhouse again. I was starting to fall back into bad habits and mindsets.

I had asked Jax if I could use his room seeing as he was supposed to be sleeping at his house with his girlfriend and wouldn't be using it for a while at least.

Jax said I could use the room but it meant I was where he could keep an eye on me and constantly check in , even when I was having borderline psychotic episodes because my energy , love , and spirit were severely depleted.

I stumbled into jaxs old room one night as opie had fallen asleep with a joint in one hand and a 40 in the other. I hadn't realised he'd come in after an argument with Tara and quite frankly at this point I was too tired to give a shit. I could've used a cuddle to settle the debilitating anxiety I couldn't shake.

I saw jaxs clothes , shoes and cutte sprawled over the single arm chair and rolled my eyes. I undressed , found yet another top id brought for him while we were in highschool , slunk into it and fell into the bed. Jax felt me throw myself into bed and rolled over. I laid on my back trying to grasp what the fuck was going on in my head but before I could begin to understand what was happening Jax grabbed me by my waist and flipped me onto my side so I was face to face with him. I repositioned and found the place I felt safest , on his chest with his arms wrapped around me. He kissed the top of my head ...

"You stupid bitch"

Tara had stormed the club house.

The sun was barely peaking through the blinds.

"Tara , if you don't fuck off I will actually kill you like our mother should have done when she was told she'd birth the spawn of Satan. " I muttered

In true dramatic fashion, Tara screamed bloody murder and before it woke everyone up , I snapped. I really didn't mean to and I have never condoned violence - how ironic - but I snapped. I flew out of the bed and knocked 2 of her front teeth out and left her her unconscious.

"Fuck sakes E" I heard coming from behind me.

"E , what the fuck" Opie questioned from down the hall.

I panned my surroundings and then it dawned on me what I had just done and suddenly all the built up animosity has disappeared. Years of heart ache , disappointment , loathing and hatred , gone. In the blink of an eye.

" well when she wakes up and calls the cops , I'll be at home. So tell them to find me there" I said nonchalantly.

I stepped over Tara , walked past Opie and through the lounge of the club house.

I waited for hours for the cops to come. Instead unser showed up with a concerned look on his face.

"E , you need to come to the station with me. We have a report of an alleged assault"

"Hey Wayne , gladly" I smirked.

Wayne shook his head " you know I don't get you sometimes Elias. You've always been so against violence. But now look at ya. Hitting your own flesh and blood. Back on with Jax. What would... "

Before Wayne could finish I interjected.

"Wayne , I don't give a fuck what my father would think. Tara is nothing to me and she's always been a fucking snitch. What and who I'm doing has nothing to fucking do with anyone else in this town. For a matter of fact I've been helping Opie , keeping his kids fucking safe and myself sane. I haven't slept with Jax since before he got back with Tara. He's tried , oh boy has he tried. I had a moment of weakness .. I needed comfort.. I just needed to sleep. I need to shut everything off and feel safe again.. just for one night but that doesn't mean I slept with him." I spat back as Wayne's face began to shift.

"Tara didn't call us E. Jax did , he asked me to come and see if you were okay, gave me the low down ... look I don't know what is going on and I don't think I wanna know but I gotta take you to the station and ask you some questions"

"He what?" Suddenly I felt the absence of saliva in my mouth and the awfully loud pounding in my chest.