Author's note: Thank you to everyone who has favorited or followed my story. I still find it amazing that so many people are not only reading what I've written, but enjoy it as well.

Special thanks to all who review. It means a lot to see what you guys think, so please let me know in a review. Positive or negative, question or comment, I appreciate every one.

-o-o-

Chapter 3

Shake things up a bit.

-o-o-

It seems the Addams name carried a lot of weight with the goblins. After a short discussion with Grabnach, yet another goblin was brought in.

This one was a middle aged goblin with an air of authority, and unlike Grabnach, showed no fear. He simply sat down in Bookbinder's chair as the master archivist left. "I am Ragnok, head of our curse breaking department." He introduced himself respectfully, then got right down to business. "The fidelus is a powerful ward. Because of its nature, wizards think of it as unbreakable except by the secret keeper. This is exactly the sort of attitude which makes us show disdain for most wizards."

"Then you can break the fidelus." Harry stated with a smile.

"There is no spell, rune, or ward that cannot be broken." Ragnok agreed. "It is just a matter of time, money, and danger." He pressed his palms together, and clacked his claws. "We can bring down the fidelus ourselves, but it will take a great deal of time. It may prove quite dangerous as well depending on what other protections the location has. On the other hand, with your help we can take it down in a matter of minutes. Best case scenario of course."

"What do you need?"

"Your help placing my team in an ideal array surrounding the location. Since the property belongs to you, you should also be able to deactivate any other protections." Ragnok explained, then looked thoughtful. "If you have an elf for the property, that will simplify things even further. The elf should be able to assist more easily and accurately than you." His eyes widened as he realized what he just said. "Of course I mean no offense. Elves are simply..."

Harry interrupted the nervous goblin. "Don't worry about it. I have respect for most house elves. Unfortunately, I'm not sure the one living there will help me."

"It must." Grabnach said. "You own the property, thus you own the elf. Besides, you have been named heir Black, if it is a Black family elf, then it must obey you."

"Sirius made me his heir? He can do that even though I'm not a Black?" Harry asked, shocked at the revelation.

"But you do have Black ancestry, so yes. A simple test would be to call your elf to you." Grabnach suggested. "If it is bound to you, then it will not be able to resist your summons."

"Okay... Kreacher!" Harry called out.

Immediately a filthy, aged house elf popped into existence in front of Harry. Upon seeing who had summoned him, Kreacher stamped his feet and shook violently. "No no no no no! Kreacher won't! He won't obey the filthy half-blood!"

Annoyed that it was apparently only humans that couldn't see through his disguise, Harry lashed out at the elf. He backhanded Kreacher hard enough to jar him, but not send him flying. Then he lifted the elf by his throat. "I am heir Black, I own you, and you will obey me." Harry growled. "I am not as kind as my godfather was. If you continue to show disrespect, I will flay the skin from your bones, and drag your pitiful carcass through beds of salt."

Fester started laughing at Harry's promise of punishment, and harry pointed at the laughing maniac with his thumb. "I imagine he knows ways to keep you alive for weeks while he tortures you, until you beg for death." Harry noted that the elf realized that he was not bluffing. Kreacher's tea towel had a growing patch of wet. Of course, the way that Fester was smiling at Kreacher would make nearly anyone lose control of their bladder.

Harry dropped Kreacher, and explained his orders. "You will help Ragnok and his team break the fidelus on my house. I want the Order out of there, and the sooner, the better."

-o-o-

Molly Weasley sat in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place nervously sipping tea. She was worried sick about Harry, and not for the first time wished that she had added him to her family clock. She hated this house, but had volunteered to stay anyway, just in case Harry showed up.

-Pop- Kreacher appeared on top of the kitchen table, startling Molly, and nearly causing her to spill her tea. "Master has ordered Kreacher to remove the filthy blood traitor and her brood from his home."

The elf snapped his fingers. The next thing Molly knew, she was three feet in the air alongside her babies. All three Weasleys crashed roughly to the ground outside Grimmauld Place. Scrambling for their wands, they looked up to see a goblin, two hideous wizards, and the eldest Weasley son.

Bill Weasley looked as if he was in physical pain. He was wringing his hands before he moved forward to help his family to their feet. "Mum, Ron, Gin, please don't make this any harder than it already is."

"What is going on here!" Molly all but screeched.

"You were trespassing on my property." The thinner of the corpse-like wizards said evenly.

Molly started turning red with anger. "Your property!? The only person who can claim that is..." Her fury gave way to confusion and worry as the thin wizard's eyes gradually changed from coal black to emerald green. "Harry." She whispered softly. "What... why... I... I don't understand."

Harry looked at the family which not too long ago he considered as good as his own. The feelings he had for the three red heads before him now felt hollow and fake. "You don't have to understand, but you do have to go away now."

A soft sound steadily grew louder. It started off like rustling leaves, or crinkling parchment, but grew louder by the moment. Within seconds the sound was like shattering glass, and then silence. A deafening boom was heard, and suddenly 12 Grimmauld place was no longer hidden.

With his ears ringing pleasantly, Harry smiled and nodded at Ragnok. He then tapped Fester on the shoulder, and gestured toward the decrepit building. Together they walked up to, and into the Black family home. No clearer proof was needed that the fidelus had fallen, than Fester waltzing right in.

-o-o-

An old man leaned on the railing of the upper balcony at 14 Grimmauld Place. He sipped a steaming cup of tea, and looked curiously as two figures walked out of the run-down number 12. "Look here love. It looks like someone's actually moving back into number 12."

"I hope they fix it up, that place has been an eyesore for years." A woman's voice called out from inside.

The old man nodded, then screwed up his face in concentration. "Love?"

Sighing, the old woman made her way out to join her husband. "What? If you keep interrupting me, I'll never finish cleaning."

"Has there always been a number 12?" He asked while still staring down at the edifice in question.

Looking at her husband as if he'd finally gone 'round the twist, she said, "Of course there has. What kind of a question is that? There's been a number 12 since they built Grimmauld Place."

"Of course, of course... Only... Had it always been there... yesterday?"

-o-o-

"You need to see it Gomez! It's perfect." Fester said excitedly. "The squatters that we got rid of had cleaned out a few of the rooms, but most of the house is filled with dust and all kinds of deadly creatures."

Harry smiled at Fester's exuberance. "You welcomed me into your home. I'd like to welcome you into mine. I think it will suit you much more than this... bright, well lit cottage."

"You've decided to stop hiding from those who seek you out already then?" Morticia asked with mild curiosity.

"Sort of." Harry said while waggling his hand. "I can't hide that I've taken control of Grimmauld Place, but I'm not going to make it easy for them to reach me. I'll deal with my problems once I've settled in I suppose." He smiled darkly. "Fester told me your family credo. I think they are definitely words to live by. I am through being controlled. I just need to figure out who my enemies really are. As of today, I think the only humans I can count as friends are all of you."

Gomez looked thoughtful, then grinned widely. "Your enemies, the ones that are trying to kill you, they'll know you'll be living there right? Does that mean, if we take you up on your offer, our lives will be in constant danger?"

"As your friends we'll be targets." Morticia added while looking at Gomez.

"We'll never being able to sleep for fear of being murdered in our beds." Gomez went on softly.

"Taken and tortured endlessly." Morticia said, lost in her husband's eyes.

"Querida."

"Mon cher."

They embraced, and Gomez kissed her neck passionately. Morticia's loud moans spurred him on.

Harry was completely out of his depth. He'd seen couples snog before, but this... This was something else entirely. It clearly wasn't out of place for the loving pair, as Fester's mad smile never left his face, and Granny Frump chuckled knowingly while she hobbled over.

"Uh, again, sort of." Harry cautiously said. "It will be dangerous for you to be known as my friends, but um, Grimmauld Place should be fairly safe."

"They can't hear you anymore." The old crone pointed out.

Fester wandered off, presumably to find his own wife. This left Harry alone with Granny Frump, and the increasingly amorous lovers. The old lady motioned for Harry to follow, and led him into the next room. As they left, Gomez and Morticia were losing themselves completely. An end table was knocked over, scattering its contents across the floor, as their ardor led them to the couch. The force of them landing on the couch overturned it, and they rolled across the floor crashing into the wall.

The sounds Harry heard as he hastily shut the door made him glad he was still wearing his mask. He was sure his real face was flaming red from the blush he felt. Somehow, he had a feeling Granny Frump knew anyway considering the way she was cackling.

"So, tell me why this place is safe." She said casually. "I'll let them down with what you tell me later."

Harry had to think for a moment to remember what they were talking about. "Right. Well, the house has a lot of nasty protections on it already, they just needed to be activated. I also commissioned Gringotts to add a few more. Depending on how forceful you are if you try to break in, you'll be repelled by anything from a minor pain curse, to a particularly nasty one that literally turns you inside out. That last one is highly illegal, but Ragnok said it was grandfathered in because the runes for it were carved way before that law existed."

"Well, I've had lousy luck finding someplace." Granny Frump pointed out. "I say if Fester likes it, that's good enough for me." She patted Harry fondly on the mask he wore. "For now, you probably want to get out of Nick-Nack's things. We can have a family meeting later to discuss moving."

Harry nodded in agreement and turned to head toward his room.

-o-o-

Harry walked into the guest bedroom they'd set aside for him, and set the borrowed walking stick and hat on the dresser. He peeled off the waxy death mask, and tossed it onto the dresser as well. He then started to remove his borrowed clothes, starting with the jacket and shirt.

Standing bare chested in front of the mirror, he used a handkerchief to wipe away the makeup that blended the mask to his own face. As he looked at his own reflection once more, he noticed something out of place. Immediately he dropped the handkerchief, drew his wand, and spun around all in one fluid motion.

"I have to admit, I'm impressed." Wednesday said as she stepped out from the shadows. "Not only did you catch me off guard this morning, but you noticed me while I was actively hiding. What gave me away?"

Setting his wand down, he picked the handkerchief back up to finish cleaning his face. "The shadow was too dark. Something about it seemed off, just a lucky guess I suppose." He said modestly while keeping an eye on Wednesday.

Seeing that he was watching her every move, she went for the direct approach, and walked right up to him. She stopped inches away from him, and whispered while staring into his piercing green eyes. "You rely overmuch on that wand of yours. You really ought to carry a real weapon as well."

His hand shot out to pick up his wand again, but her hand was already there, preventing him access. Then he felt cold steel pressed to his kidney. Their eyes locked, and their expressions did not change as she slowly drew the dagger across his flesh. A shallow cut opened along his side, and a thin red line of blood welled up.

"Now we're even." She said as she brought her blade up, and licked a drop of blood from its tip.

Speechless, he watched her leave. He carefully touched the mark she'd given him, and was painfully aware of how his pants tightened. Living in the same house as Wednesday, whether here or Grimmauld Place, was going to be interesting to say the least.

-o-o-

An impromptu Order meeting was held at the Burrow for lack of a better location. Not everyone was there, but enough to make spreading the word easy.

"Where's Dumbledore anyway?" Demanded Mrs. Weasley. "This is very important, and he needs to be here.

Mad-Eye laughed and shook his head. "He's not coming. Considering his fidelus was broken, I'll bet my wooden leg that Albus is lying in bed right this moment, writhing in pain."

Bill Weasley looked stricken. "What do you mean? He shouldn't be in pain. In training I've had plenty of my own spells and wards broken. It doesn't hurt."

"The fidelus is different. You see, the secret keeper is bound to the charm. When you and your goblin buddies forced it to end... Well, imagine holding one end of an elastic band, and pulling it tight until it broke. Now imagine the band being a mile long, and having a bludger on the end as it came back to hit you." Mad-Eye almost couldn't stop himself from grinning. The pain would fade in time, and this was just the sort of wake up call Albus needed to show him that he wasn't the second coming of Merlin that some people made him out to be.

Mrs. Weasley looked confused. "Well, why can't he just take something for the pain? We need him here."

Closing his real eye in exasperation, Mad-Eye let his magic one stare right at the Weasley matriarch. This was exactly the kind of blind devotion to the great Dumbledore that let Albus get so cocky. "He just had a powerful spell backfire on him. He can't use any magic at all until his own magic settles back down, and starts to recover on its own. That includes potions. Poppy is too good of a healer to let him take anything."

Processing everything, Mrs. Weasley slowly turned to her eldest, who had already turned pale in realization of what he'd done. "William Arthur Weasley! Explain yourself!"

"Mum, please! I had no choice." Bill defended himself even though he clearly felt awful. "I took a loyalty oath to Gringotts. The only thing I could have done was quit my job, and what good would that have done? They'd have just used another curse-breaker, and I'd be out of work." He shook his head, lamenting how stubborn and narrow minded his mother was. "I couldn't stop what happened, but I did everything I could to make it painless."

As usual, with or without Dumbledore present, the Order devolved into chaos as arguments sprang up left and right. Mad-Eye sighed. If it weren't for the threat of Voldemort, and now quite possibly Harry, then he'd vanish completely into a nice secluded retirement. "All right that's enough of that!" He called out, slamming his palm onto the Weasley's kitchen table. "Dumbledore is out of commission for now, deal with it. We know where Potter is as well, so he needs to be our top priority, not squabbling like a bunch of schoolchildren."

Everyone quieted, and showed varying degrees of guilt on their faces. Mundungus broke the silence. "Well there's no fidelus no more, so why don't someone just go in and grab 'im?"

Snape, who had been quiet until now, scoffed. "You go right ahead and try Fletcher. I'm sure someone will be along to scrape what's left of you off the street."

"Harry might be going through a rebellious phase right now, but he'd never do something like that!" Mrs. Weasley argued, looking affronted at the insinuation.

"I wouldn't be so sure, but either way it was a Black family home. I have no doubt that that place has some nasty defenses. The boy probably activated them all without finding out what they did." Mad-Eye slammed him palm done once more. "Constant vigilance! Snape is right. Anyone tries to just walk in, and they'll probably wind up a puddle."

-o-o-

Because they still weren't allowed anywhere near the Order meetings, Ron and Ginny were sent over to the Lovegoods for the duration. Luna Lovegood was weird in her own way, but her father took it to an entirely different level. Despite his eccentricities, Mr. Lovegood was a very welcoming host, and even suggested they invite others over and make a party of it. Ron tried to argue that it was just for a few hours, but his objections were squashed by Mr. Lovegood's enthusiasm about his daughter throwing a party for her friends.

Ron and Ginny decided they might as well use the opportunity to let their friends know what had happened with Harry. Ron sent Pigwidgeon to Hermione to invite her over, while Ginny and Luna sent the Lovegood family owl to Neville. They figured those that fought side by side with Harry had the most right to know that something was very wrong with their friend.

The five teenagers sat together in Luna's room. Ginny, having better social skills than her rather blunt brother, started things off. "How are you doing Hermione? I think you got hurt worse than all of us."

Hermione clutched her hand over her chest where Dolohov's curse had nearly killed her. "I'm doing better, but it still hurts. The salve Madam Pomfrey gave me does make it feel better each day, so hopefully it will be healed before my parents figure out I've been hurt so bad." She tentatively touched her collar bone. "She's pretty sure that no matter what I'll always have a scar. It was a pretty dark curse, even if it wasn't full strength."

Hermione forced a smile. "I'll be fine. I know you guys didn't ask us all to come just to see how we are. We can do that through the post. What's wrong with Harry?"

"We're not sure, but something big." Ron said, jumping right into the heart of the matter. "Ginny and I managed to find out that Harry ran away from the Dursley's the other day."

"The Order was going crazy trying to find him before You-Know-Who." Ginny added.

Neville interrupted, looking more confident than anyone had ever seen him. "Voldemort. Harry's not afraid to say his name, and none of us should be either."

Ginny corrected herself. "Right... Voldemort... Anyway, Ron and I had to stay at headquarters with mum just in case Harry showed up."

"And he did, but he was in disguise, and something was wrong with him." Ron added, and went on, not letting his sister talk. "Apparently Sirius left Harry Grimmauld Place in his will. Harry showed up with goblins, and curse-breakers, and he somehow got the Black family house elf to listen to him, and kick us out."

"Ron, breathe." Hermione ordered. Then she paled. "You said Grimmauld Place... 12 Grimmauld Place... What happened to the fidelus?!"

Ron looked a little annoyed at Hermione's interuption. "That's what I'm trying to tell you 'Mione. Harry got Gringotts to break the fidelus. He kicked us all out, and is probably there right now with that other creepy looking wizard."

"What creepy looking wizard?" Neville asked, looking lost.

Ginny shoved Ron. "Let me tell it. You're just confusing them." She stared down her brother before picking up the tale. "When Kreacher, that's the house elf, kicked us out, there were two really creepy looking wizards. I mean they looked like vampires or something. One claimed that Grimmauld Place belonged to him, and it turned out he was actually Harry in disguise."

Ginny hugged herself, and looked off to the side. "Whatever was hiding his eye color failed, and his green eyes looked right at us. It was definitely Harry, but he was so cold. He acted like we meant nothing to him. Not me, not mum, not even Ron."

Luna who had been listening silently, spoke in her usual dreamy sing-song voice. "It sounds like the other wizard could have some kind of control over Harry. Do you think he could be imperiused?"

Glad that Luna was taking things seriously, and not bringing up one of her imaginary creatures, Hermione still shot down her theory. "It can't be that, it doesn't work on Harry. He told me he even managed to shake off Voldemort's imperius.

"Oh." Luna said, seemingly unconcerned. "It must be wrackspurts then."

-o-o-

The full family, including Lurch, sat at the table to listen to Harry's offer and explanation. Gomez and Morticia had already been informed that it wouldn't be quite as life threatening as they had fantasized.

"As Fester can tell you all, Grimmauld Place is dark, dangerous, and oppressive." Harry explained while playing with a large black quill. "It's a decent sized manor house on the inside. On the outside it appears to be part of a line of muggle townhouses. I believe its dark nature suits you all much more than this... country cottage."

"What about you?" Wednesday asked with an eyebrow raised. "I don't believe for one moment that you're just going to sell us your home, and leave yourself with nowhere to live."

Harry managed to look sheepish. "Well, to be honest, my first thought was to just give you Grimmauld place. I didn't really think about where I was going to stay. However, now that whatever Dumbledore did to me is fading away, I would rather stay there myself. I'm inviting all of you to live with me while you're in England."

"We accept!" Fester said enthusiastically, then turned sharply to his brother. "Don't we Gomez?"

Gomez smiled at his brother's eagerness. "How can I say no to that putrid face? I haven't seen Fester this excited since Cousin Pustule's funeral."

"Brilliant." Harry smiled, and placed a sheet of parchment on the table. "This is sort of like a one time use key through the protections on my home." He held his quill high, drawing attention to it. "This is called a blood quill. It will use your own blood as ink as you sign your name. Everyone sign with this, and once you're inside, I can add you to the wards more permanently."

"What about Pubert?" Pugsley asked, pointing to his baby brother. Pubert was sitting in Dementia's lap, and gnawing through the table.

Harry scratched the back of his head in thought. "If you get him to leave a bloody handprint, it should work the same as a bloody signature. His own blood of course."

After everyone signed, some with enthusiasm as they discovered the side effects of a blood quill, Harry collected the parchment and quill from Wednesday.

"Can it take the blood from anywhere, or does it have to be the back of the hand?" She asked as she handed him the blood quill.

"I don't know... Why?" Harry asked nervously, the feel of her naked blade sliding across his skin still fresh in his memory.

Her unblinking eyes met his. "No specific reason, just imagining what fun could be had."

For reasons he wasn't entirely sure of, Harry found himself fighting another blush.

-o-o-

"Master." Bellatrix Lestrange said as she genuflected before him. "I have information that I don't yet know the significance of."

Voldemort looked down at his most zealous servant. "And yet you bring me this information anyway." He pressed his wand to the underside of her chin, forcing her to look up and into his eyes. "Tell me then, what do you know?"

"My dear Aunt Walburga's home, the one that Severus said Dumbledore was using as headquarters for his precious order, I remember where it is now."

Voldemort's crimson eyes widened in understanding. "It no longer is protected by a fidelus. Either the old fool is setting a trap, or he's made a fatal mistake." He released Bellatrix, and tapped idly on his throne-like chair. "Where is Severus?"

Without hesitation, Bellatrix held out her left arm, displaying her dark mark. "I do not know my lord."

Smiling at the devotion she displayed, he pressed his wand onto the mark on her forearm. The tattoo darkened, and he was pleased to note that she didn't seem to acknowledge the pain from the summoning.

They didn't have to wait long. Within minutes, Snape strode into the room, and knelt in front of Voldemort. As always, Snape's face betrayed no emotion, and he acted every bit the loyal Death Eater.

"Severus, do you have any information for me?" Voldemort's words were like honey, but it was clear that Snape's response could easily cost him his life.

Inwardly, Snape cursed himself for not immediately coming to the dark lord with news of the loss of headquarters. Now he was in the unenviable position of trying to explain his tardiness. "My lord, I do. I regret not being able to come sooner, but Dumbledore wished to delay my reporting to you. He kept me busy, and unable to get away without arousing suspicion." A blatant lie, but hopefully a believable one. For several days Dumbledore was hardly able to eat, let alone ride herd on him.

He carefully brought forth an older memory of Dumbledore telling him that he must answer Voldemort's call swiftly to stay in his good graces. Allowing Voldemort to see any memory was always a risk, but Snape's skill in occlumency had kept him alive so far.

"My summons left the old fool no choice but to let you go." Voldemort commented. "Now that you are here, what information have you brought me?"

"Potter has run away from Dumbledore's protection. He apparently discovered that he had inherited the Order's headquarters, and commissioned the goblins to break the old man's fidelus." Snape explained carefully. Trying to give enough information to keep himself alive, but no more than necessary. There were very few spells that backlashed when broken, so he hoped the Dark Lord would not know of that effect.

The Dark Lord smiled cruelly. "There is a good chance that Mister Potter is living there now, don't you agree Severus?"

"I have been unable to investigate myself, but the thought had crossed my mind." Snape lied smoothly.

Without any warning, Voldemort sneered, and cast the cruciatus on Snape. He only held it for mere moments, but caught completely unaware, the spy writhed in absolute agony. "You are supposed to be my spy. I should not have to learn of such vital events from others." He cast the curse again to drive home his displeasure. "If Bella had not realized the significance of remembering the location of her aunt's home, I wonder how long until I would have discovered that Potter no longer hides behind Dumbledore's robes."

He turned to Bellatrix. "Take a few of the newer recruits, no one who shows promise, and go there now. If this is a trap, leave the recruits to their fate, and come back immediately. If it is not a trap, then summon me, and I will personally kill the great Harry Potter."

-o-o-

Morticia and Gomez stepped off of the Knight Bus gracefully. There was no outward sign that they had endured the nausea inducing ride. Morticia sported a pleased smile, and Gomez shook his head in amusement while grinning madly. The rest of the family, Harry included, were driving to London in the family Packard and a rented moving truck. Gomez and Morticia had gone on ahead mainly because they wanted to see what the magic bus was like.

"Fester was right, what a delightfully wretched way to travel." Gomez commented as he looked around for number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"Over there darling." She pointed at the beautifully decrepit townhouse. "The bodies were a nice touch, but won't the neighbors complain?"

Looking to where his wife was pointing as they both walked, Gomez shrugged. "Maybe people around here are able to appreciate such things. Either that or they're fresh. Let's find out if they're burglars who ran afoul of Harry's security, or perhaps they came to slaughter us all."

There were four bodies, dressed in black robes with silver masks. One was still alive, moaning as if in great pain. The other three were undoubtedly dead if the crimson pool beneath them had anything to say about it.

"We've got time. Why don't we clean up this mess while we wait for everyone else to arrive." Gomez said casually as he removed one of the dead men's masks. Underneath was a bare skull grinning back at him.

"I suppose we should. Dealing with the police is always tiring." Morticia agreed as she knelt down next to the still living man. "What should we do with this one?"

Gomez looked thoughtful, then snapped his fingers happily. "Harry said the wards would be non-lethal as long as the person meant no harm right? Well he wanted inside so badly, lets show him in."

"Do you think he means no harm?" Morticia looked skeptical.

Gomez shrugged. "I think all he wants to do is go home, but if I'm wrong, then what's one more body?" Gomez pulled the mask off of the whimpering man, and gave him a wild eyed grin. "Come on in old man, we'll take good care of you."

Fear and pain was all the man knew as Gomez grabbed hold, and pulled him toward the open door. The more the man screamed and fought, the wider Gomez's smile grew.

Morticia shook her head at her now laughing husband. "Men. Just little boys, all grown up." She smiled fondly at Gomez as he enjoyed himself.

-o-o-

Even without Gomez and Morticia, it was a tight fit in the Packard. Lurch drove of course, with Granny Frump up front. Both Fester and Dementia took up much of the back seat. For one stressful moment after Harry sat down and realized the back was full, he wondered if Wednesday would have to sit on his lap. When Wednesday and Pugsley climbed into the rented truck instead, Harry let out a breath of relief... or was it disappointment?

The two vehicles made their way across the countryside, and headed toward London. Harry idly watched the scenery fly past, and Granny Frump decided to take advantage of her captive audience.

"You go to school for that stick of yours child?"

Shaken out of his daydreaming, Harry turned to face the old witch. "Yes, but we learn more than just wand work."

"So you learn more than wizardry, good. Do they teach witchcraft there?"

"I guess so." He answered, unsure. "It is the Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, but I don't really know the difference. After all, as far as I can tell, the only difference between a witch and a wizard is that witches are girls, and wizards are boys."

She huffed, and pointed a gnarled finger at his crotch. "What you've got between your legs makes no difference. A witch is a witch, and a wizard a wizard. The only thing that matters, is what kind of magic you use."

Realizing he was being lectured, Harry adjusted in his seat to be less comfortable. She couldn't possibly be more boring than Binns, so he focused his attention on her impromptu lesson. "What's the difference then?"

Pleased that he was willing to learn, unlike most wizards, she jumped right into teacher mode. "Wizardry is all about using those sticks. Most wizards think that it's the pinnacle of magic, and look down on everything else."

"I'm starting to see how stupid that is." He said, knowing she'd agree. "Wednesday already pointed out that without my wand I'm helpless. She's agreed to teach me how to use, as she puts it, a real weapon."

She cackled, young love was so much fun. She wondered if he would survive her granddaughter's lessons. She remembered Wednesday's first boyfriend... He hadn't lasted much longer than her own first. "Good for you. If you're good enough, she'll teach you plenty. Anyway, witchcraft on the other hand is subtle enough that a good witch can practice their art without mundane folk noticing."

She ticked off the aspects of witchcraft one by one on her wizened fingers. "Brewing, seeing, ritual magic, knowing what there is to know about magical plants and animals, these are the skills every witch should posses."

"They teach all that, well except for ritual magic." Harry remembered witnessing, and being an unwilling participant in Voldemort's resurrection. "That sounds more like the dark arts, they don't teach that at all."

Granny nodded with a crooked grin. "Rituals do tend to bleed over into necromancy. There's a nice dark art if ever there was one. A Frump specialty too."

Fester who had been listening quietly, spoke up. "The Addams family has always stayed close to our dead as well. Just thinking how powerful a witch Wednesday will be makes me so proud."

"What about Pugsley, or Pubert?" Harry asked, then thought for a moment. "Where is Pubert anyway?"

Dementia smiled. "The dear fell asleep in his electric chair, so we just packed him up with everything else. He'll have plenty to play with if he wakes up in the back of the moving truck."

Fester addressed his other question. "Traditionally the Addams women have done all the magic. I suppose if the boys want to learn they can. I can't imagine Gomez objecting."

The rest of the ride went quickly. With everyone discussing different aspects of magic, it was the most fun he'd had learning since his third year DADA class.

-o-o-

Arriving at their new home away from home, Harry noticed Wednesday step out of the driver's side of the moving truck, which was confusing as he thought Pugsley had been the one at the wheel. Understanding dawned as Lurch opened the passenger side and pulled out an unconscious and tightly bound Pugsley.

Morticia who had come outside to greet her family simply raised an eyebrow to question her daughter.

Wednesday shrugged. "He kept wanting to run cars off the road. While it would have been entertaining, it would have made us late."

Harry walked around to the back of the truck to help unload, and lifted the gate. As the gate rolled up, a glint from the darkness in the truck was his only warning as a poleaxe swung down at his head. Catching it by the haft with instinct born from years as a seeker, he saw Pubert holding the other end. The toddler giggled, and disappeared into the back of the truck.

"What a scamp!" Fester beamed with pride at his nephew. "Did you know the little tyke killed my first wife before his first birthday?"

"Precocious." Harry said, as he gathered up an armful of pole weapons to go with the axe already in his hands. "You don't seem too upset about it."

Fester waved his hand in the air dismissively. "Debbie was a soulless psychopathic killer. I know, I know. She sounds perfect, but she tried to keep me from my family. Unforgivable! Family is everything."

Fester regaled Harry with a few anecdotes about his first marriage as they worked on unloading the truck. Harry found Debbie's failed attempts to murder Fester particularly amusing.

-o-o-

Author's note: I try to respond to every review via PM. If you aren't signed in, then I'll put my response at the bottom of the next chapter.

To Guest reviewing chapter 2: Almost makes you wonder if the Addams and Black families are related, doesn't it?