Author's note: The teaching positions are all filled. You should see all of the changes that have been made by the end of the next chapter. There has been more push for an Addams DADA professor than anyone else, but I'm going to have to partially disappoint a bunch of you. As a consolation prize, an Addams will teach at Hogwarts, just not as DADA professor.
Big thank yous to everyone who's reading. This story now has over a thousand favorites and follows, which quite frankly I am stunned by. Extra special thanks to those who review. You guys are the greatest.
-o-o-
Chapter 11
Getting ready for school.
-o-o-
Griselda Marchbanks was lost in thought as she looked over the headache that had been dumped into her lap. It was still hard for her to believe that Albus Dumbledore of all people had been essentially banned from ever being a teacher again. Still, regardless of whether his forced retirement was justified or not, she was tasked with appointing his replacement. Then she and the new headmaster would, with the support of the Hogwarts governors, review each teaching position, and ensure there was a competent, if not quality, professor in place.
The task in and of itself was not such a daunting one, but the start of the school year was less than a month away. There wasn't enough time to give the job the attention it needed. Sighing, she took a sip of her tea, wishing that it was something stronger.
Minerva McGonagall was an exemplary professor, with a nearly spotless record. As the deputy headmistress, she was the obvious choice to replace Albus. Griselda paused as she thought about her years of working for the ministry's department of education. She'd been supervising OWLs and NEWTs for the better part of a century, and had seen firsthand how Hogwarts had become less than acceptable in certain areas. No, even with the time crunch, this was not the time to maintain the status quo.
She looked up from her desk, and focused her attention on her long time coworker. "Solomon?"
Professor Solomon Tofty looked up from where he was dealing with his own headache, glad for the momentary distraction. "Yes Griselda, what can I do for you?"
"Are you still interested in escaping the drudge work that comes with a ministry position?" She asked the former educator.
He gave a rueful laugh. "I am indeed, but what option do I have? I don't want to give up my position on the examination board. This rubbish unfortunately comes with that job."
"It's dealing with the children that you don't want to give up correct?" She said, leading him along.
"Why, yes. I suppose that is it, on some level anyway. I miss teaching, but becoming a private tutor is more trouble than it's worth. Anyway, if I'm to be honest, I can't keep up with the modern innovations in arithmancy to teach it properly anymore. From here, my only option is retirement, and I'm not ready for that yet." He scrunched his face in disgust. "Though some days, it's very tempting."
Griselda smiled at her friend and coworker. "I have just the answer for you." With a flick of her wand, she sent a piece of parchment sailing through the air, and into Professor Tofty's hands.
He took a few moments to read through the parchment, and looked up at his friend incredulously. "Are you suggesting that I replace Albus Dumbledore?"
She listed her reasons, ticking each one off on her fingers, a smug grin on her face all the while. "You would once more be in a position to mold young minds, your wisdom is far more important than being able to keep up with new arithmantic equations, your proven trustworthy nature is needed to alleviate concerns following Albus' scandalous removal, and most importantly, you'll have a deputy to help you deal with the more bothersome paperwork that comes with the job."
He opened his mouth to refuse the offer out of hand, but caught himself. Thinking hard, he looked around the cramped office of the education department. "Minerva is a fine professor, and next in line for the job. Everyone knows she's been prepared for the position for years now. Why not her?"
"Solomon, you know that I admire Albus immensely; however, at this time his name is an anathema." She shook her head. "I have no doubt that in time he will once more be respected as he should be, but for now everyone is working to distance themselves from him. Minerva was my first thought, but she has been groomed for the position by Albus personally. Besides, I think it's time for a sweeping change."
She sent another parchment over to Professor Tofty. Then summarized what was written on it. "Should you agree to my proposal, we will be auditing every position in Hogwarts. With the approval of the board of governors, we will be tasked with ensuring that the children have a proper education. Well Solomon, what do you say?"
"I say that this sounds an awful lot like what Cornelius and that horrible Umbridge woman tried to do last year." He said with a frown.
She nodded in agreement. "Yes, but even horrible people can have good ideas."
He looked at the parchments in front of him, and then to his friends hopeful face. Closing his eyes, he weighed his options, and thought about what the position would mean for him. "Very well Griselda. Assuming the board of governors approve of me, I will accept."
-o-o-
Black smoke rose into the sky, pouring out of every window of what used to be a rather nice house. Fortunately the owners of said house happened to be on vacation, and were perfectly safe, despite now being homeless.
Several blocks over, a rotund wizard steadied himself against a hedgerow, gasping for air. Looking back, he paled as he saw the Dark Mark form above the home he'd been hiding out in. They'd finally stopped trying to recruit him, and now the Death Eaters were just trying to kill him. He'd barely escaped this time. Running from hiding place to hiding place was no longer a viable option for survival.
Horace Slughorn wiped his sweating brow with the sleeve of his robe, and thought about his options. He could always try to reach the continent, but chances were that they would be expecting that. Maybe he should have taken Albus up on his offer. Hogwarts may be the safest place for him at this point. Making his decision, he calmed himself down, and disapparated.
-o-o-
Gomez smiled as he spoke with Grabnach over the best sort of donation to grease the wheels, and get Wednesday enrolled in Hogwarts for the upcoming semester. "It's not too little is it? I'm afraid I'm used to dealing with... what's the term again... ah, muggles!"
Grabnach shook his head in disbelief. The goblins paid attention to where money went, even when it technically had nothing to do with them. In preparation for this meeting, he'd looked up previous donations to the school. The amount that Gomez was worried wouldn't be sufficient, was more than even Lucius Malfoy had donated. Doing the math quickly in his head, Grabnach realized that all of Malfoy's donations didn't add up to the massive bribe that Gomez was planning.
"I believe that with this amount, you would be allowed to get away with murder. There should be no issue enrolling your daughter." The young account manager said without thinking.
Gomez's eyes lit up, and a small smirk settled on his face. "Really? I'll have to let Wednesday know that. Usually that kind of allowance involves blackmail."
The goblin's eyes widened as he realized his mistake. "Forgive me, I meant that as a figure of speech. Killing is frowned upon in human society."
"Human society... hmm... What about goblin, what do your people think of random murder?" Gomez asked with genuine curiosity.
Grabnach gulped. His accursed tongue was going to get him killed. "Random killing is not tolerated... However, killing in a formal duel, or because of a clan feud, is acceptable."
"Capitol! The more I learn, the more I like goblins. You really are vicious beasts." Gomez said as he eyed a long thin sword that was displayed on the wall. It was somewhere between a rapier and a longsword. "May I?" He asked as he hovered his hand over the handle.
"Of... Of course." The goblin said, desperately trying to calm himself. Gomez was far more rational, and less impulsive than his older brother. Chances were this Addams wouldn't kill him... He hoped. "That sword was forged by my ancestor for a wizard over a thousand years ago. My great grandfather reclaimed it from the carcass of that wizard's descendant."
"Ah, yes I remember. Your concept of ownership differs from ours. That must cause some interesting arguments." Gomez said as he took down the sword. Swinging it through the air, he smiled widely. While it looked heavier than the rapiers he was accustomed to, it was in fact lighter. He took off his suit jacket, and hung it where the sword had been. "Care for some fun old man? I know you keep an axe behind that desk."
Well, at least his family would be compensated for his death. Grabnach thought morosely as he reached under his desk for his small axe and buckler.
Before Grabnach could confirm his reluctant willingness, he was forced to duck as the sword whistled through the air where his neck had been a moment before. Launching himself back with a tight grip on his weapon, he slid the buckler onto his arm. His fear vanished and his senses grew sharp. He knew he was in a fight for his very life, and his blood boiled with anticipation. In an instant, he went from a nervous account manager to a deadly goblin warrior.
Gomez laughed sharply. "Well done!" He then lunged forward, leaping over the desk with a single flip he landed just in time to parry a counter attack aimed at his knee. "Fantastic!"
-o-o-
The muffled sound of goblin steel striking goblin steel echoed down the hallway. Bookbinder stepped out of his office to find out what the noise was, and he shook his head as he heard the mad laughter of the Addams man. He turned back to his work, and thought about who would replace Grabnach as the Addams/Black account manager. Hopefully young Grabnach would die well.
-o-o-
With a swirl and flick of his wrist, Gomez tore the axe from Grabnach's grip, and sent it flying through the air to embed itself in the door. Before he could bring the tip of the sword around to end the match, the battle-frenzied goblin lashed out with his claws.
Three deep furrows appeared across Gomez's chest, and dark red blood poured freely from the wound. Gomez widened his eyes in genuine surprise and admiration before thrusting with the sword, and pinning Grabnach to his own desk.
"Excellent match old man, first blood goes to you, but I believe the match is mine." Gomez said as he took off his shredded shirt and used it as a makeshift bandage to staunch the flow of blood. "Next time, I won't make the mistake of thinking a disarmed goblin is a defeated goblin."
Grabnach came down from his frenzy, and pain blossomed where the sword had pierced his shoulder. He had seriously injured his client, but instead of being furious, Gomez was happy, ecstatic even. He carefully gripped the sword, and with a sharp tug pulled it free of the desk and his body.
Setting the bloody sword down on his desk, Grabnach carefully asked, "Will there be anything else today Mister Addams?" He gripped his shoulder tightly to slow his own bleeding, and fervently hoped his ordeal was over for the day.
-o-o-
Gomez walked down the steps of Gringotts with a wide smile on his face. Those goblins were his kind of people. He whistled merely as he sauntered down the middle of Diagon alley toward the Leaky Cauldron where his daughter, Harry, and Luna were waiting for him.
As he walked, he reflected on the young man who had managed to get his hands on his daughter's heart. When he had first met the lad, there was something about him no doubt, but he wasn't quite their sort of person. Serendipitously, Harry had hidden depth that was cruel, twisted, and frightening. With the aid of Grandmama's special brew, he had turned out to be the kind of man Gomez would be proud to call son.
Smiling, Gomez thought about that morning. He had asked Harry if he wanted to disguise himself again for today's errands. The young man had thought for a few moments, shook his head and said there was no point. Life wasn't worth living if he was going to hide all of the time. If the worst happened, Harry figured he could always bite off his own tongue.
Reaching the end of the alleyway, Gomez sidestepped past a witch who was entering the alley. As the brick wall closed itself behind him, he made his way into the tavern, and up the stairs to the private room he'd bought earlier. He noted as he reached for the handle, that the proprietor had affixed a brass sign saying 'Addams' to the door. It had taken some negotiating, but the amount of gold Gomez placed it the pub owners hands convinced him to permanently reserve the room for their convenience.
"No, if you hold the arm like that, then I can do this." Wednesday said as she twisted around, reversing the hold Harry had on her, and driving his face into the floor. "Hello father, did everything go well with the goblins?"
Gomez was always happy to see the children playing. Wednesday had had Harry's arm twisted to the very edge of its breaking point, and her boot was grinding his face into the polished wooden floor. Sitting on the bed, Luna watched dreamily with a gentle smile and almost unfocused eyes.
"We couldn't ask for a finer manager. He assured me that we should have no problem getting you enrolled, he's been putting our money here to work, and he managed to take a pint of my blood." Gomez answered with a smile as he unbuttoned his jacket to display his blood-soaked bandage. "He doesn't look it, but Grabnach is a killer."
Wednesday released Harry, letting him pick himself up and dust himself off. "Are we heading to Hogwarts next then?" She asked while smoothing out her dress.
Buttoning up his jacket, Gomez nodded. "First Hogwarts, then back here to buy all of your supplies."
"We'll use the floo to go to Hogsmead." Harry explained as he put on his outer robes. "From there we can walk to the castle."
"Did your father mention when he would return?" Gomez asked as he addressed Luna. "You could come with us if it won't be for a while yet."
Luna shook here head side to side, and hopped down off the bed. "Daddy only said he'd be back today, and that he finally found proof that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks exist. Don't worry about me, I'm sure daddy will be here soon."
Bidding the blonde witch goodbye, the others headed out.
-o-o-
Madam Rosmerta put on her cheerful hostess smile as her fireplace flared green. The day had been rather slow, so hopefully whoever it was would stay for a pint. Chances were though, that whoever it was, was only using her fireplace as a means to reach Hogwarts.
She saw a wizard slide out of the flames and across the floor, which was an odd sight. Usually only small children flooed that poorly. Even stranger, was that the wizard curled into a ball, and rolled up to his feet almost gracefully.
Rosmerta watched in interest as the fireplace flared twice more, and two more people simply walked out of the flames. They looked to be muggles by their clothing, but that more likely meant they were muggleborn.
"Welcome to the Three Broomsticks. Can I get you folks some lunch, or perhaps you'd like a drink?" Rosmerta said cheerfully. A happy hostess inspired people to spend more, so she always tried to at least appear happy and friendly.
"Sorry Madam Rosmerta." Harry said as he turned to face her. "We're just passing through today."
"Oh! Harry Potter, I didn't recognize you." Rosmerta said as soon as she saw his face. "Who are your friends Harry?"
Dusting himself off, and ignoring being addressed as Potter, Harry gestured to each of his companions. "This is my girlfriend Wednesday Addams, and her father Gomez." Waving his hand over to the barmaid, Harry finished his introduction. "This is Madam Rosmerta, she owns this place."
"Girlfriend? There are going to be dozens of broken hearts when that news spreads." Rosmerta teased with a wink. "A pleasure to meet you both, are you sure I can't interest anyone in a butterbeer or two?"
Knowing that the friendly owner of the tavern would continue to talk until they either left, or bought something, Harry ushered everyone outside, and said goodbye.
As he led them toward the castle, Harry gave both Wednesday and her father a slightly annoyed look. "How is it that you two managed to floo so gracefully? I thought you hadn't done it before."
"It wasn't exactly difficult. You walk in one fireplace, and walk out the other one." Wednesday answered simply.
Harry shook his head ruefully. Apparently he was just rubbish at using the floo. "What did the letter you got back say again?" He asked Gomez who had borrowed Hedwig the other day to set up an appointment to enroll Wednesday.
"That the new headmaster would meet with us in the Great Hall." Gomez answered.
"Strange, it sounds like Dumbledore isn't headmaster anymore. That's a good thing I suppose, but I wonder why? For that matter, I wonder who's his replacement." Harry mused.
"Perhaps the woman who replaced him last year, Umbridge I believe." Wednesday guessed. "She's the one who tortured you right?"
"Yes, she's one who gave me this scar." Harry said as he lifted his hand. "She's evil, manipulative, and hates me with a passion. But no, I don't think we'll be that lucky. It's probably McGonagall."
They spent the rest of the walk chatting about unimportant things, figuring that they would find out who it was soon enough anyway.
-o-o-
While the headmaster's office had been completely fixed, Solomon Tofty opted to use the head table in the Great Hall as his temporary desk until September rolled around. He did this mainly for two reasons. First, he had a great deal of preparation to do, and a great number of meetings to go through. The Great Hall was the easiest place in the castle to reach, and the head table was large enough so that he didn't actually have to put anything away until he was completely done with it. Second, and the reason he cited in jest as his primary one, was that it made it easier for him to eat while he worked. Since he had so much work to do, and little time to do it, he often worked through meals.
Hearing the doors creak open, Headmaster Tofty looked up from his work, and smiled at the three approaching figures. This was exactly why he was braving the mountain of paperwork in front of him. Once again working with eager to learn young minds.
"Mister Addams I presume? And this must be your daughter Wednesday." The aged educator stood and summoned three chairs for everyone to sit opposite him. "It's wonderful to see you again as well Mister Potter... my apologies... Mister Black. Though I'm afraid I didn't realize that you would be coming.
"You're one of the ministry examiners aren't you?" Harry asked, trying to place the man. "You were there for my OWL's."
"Yes, that's correct. I used to be on the examination board, but now I'm headmaster. After the unpleasantness with Professor Dumbledore, the ministry and the school governors have been working in concert to change a few things around here." Tofty explained. "In fact it's my experience on the examination board that made me so willing to allow Miss Addams to test in, during what should be her sixth year."
The newly minted headmaster handed a large scroll to Wednesday. "This will give me a good idea of your grasp of the theoretical portions of the courses you've shown interest in. After you've finished it, we can go into the adjoining room, and test your practical understanding of the subjects." He pointed over to the Ravenclaw table. "You'll find a quill, ink bottle, and scrap parchment over there. Do not rush, but be mindful that as soon as you open that scroll, you will have one half-hour to finish each section. The scroll is enchanted a bit more than the average test, and as each section's time limit expires, it will no longer accept ink."
Wednesday simply took the scroll, walked over to where she had been directed, and cracked the wax seal. Soon the scratching of her quill signaled that she was well underway.
Tofty turned his attention to Harry and Gomez. "Now, before we get into the details of Miss Addams' enrollment, what can I do for you Mister P... Black?"
"I'm mainly just here as a guide." Harry admitted. "I would like to add Care of Magical Creatures to the list of classes I'm taking this year though. If it helps, I got an E on my OWL."
"I'm sure there won't be any trouble with that." Tofty assured him. "Within the first two weeks, students are able to alter their schedules if they decide to drop a class, or take a different one. This is not an uncommon occurrence for sixth year students. NEWT courses are entirely different in terms of difficulty, so there are almost always one or two students who wind up changing what classes they're taking."
Headmaster Tofty turned to Gomez. "Now then Mister Addams, I would prefer that we go over your daughter's enrollment after she completes her entrance examination. Madam Marchbanks and I will be able to grade her in fairly short order, and we can be certain of what courses she qualifies for. The entire testing process may take some time though, so if you'd like you can come back in... let's say four hours?"
-o-o-
The test that Wednesday was taking, was essentially a condensed version of the OWL exam for each course she wished to take. As she finished each section, Wednesday wondered why she bothered studying so much beforehand. Except for the obvious British bias with the Magical Creature and Herbology portions, there was nothing here that she didn't already know from lessons with Grandmama.
Finishing a full hour early, she handed the now filled scroll over to Headmaster Tofty, who had returned to his work while waiting for her to finish.
"That was faster than I was expecting Miss Addams." Tofty exclaimed as he scanned the scroll to make sure it was complete. "You'll have to excuse me, I asked Madam Marchbanks to be here to proctor the practical portion of your exam, but she isn't due to be here for another ten minutes or so. I'd do it myself, but as I am no longer on the examination board, I cannot."
"Besides..." He said, gesturing at the mounds of work he still had to go through. "I'm pressed for time at the moment."
"I understand." Wednesday agreed with her usual lack of emotion. She walked over to find her boyfriend and father in a struggle for dominance.
Harry and Gomez had opted to wait for her, and had managed to procure a chess set. Deep into their third game, Wednesday watched with interest as Harry ordered his pawn to advance, blocking her father's bishop. The chess piece grumbled as it marched forward, complaining about being used as canon fodder.
In response, Gomez ordered his own pawn forward to try and force Harry's line open. With an eager smile, Harry had his knight destroy said pawn putting Gomez's king in check. The knight having moved, no longer blocked Harry's own bishop, which now threatened Gomez's queen. "That's check, and I do believe your queen is mine."
Studying the board, Gomez realized that he'd been had. The past dozen moves has been designed to subtly force him into a position where he would lose his queen. Ignoring his queen's angry rant, Gomez smiled at Harry with an eagerness of his own. "Well done old man, but the game is far from over!"
Engrossed in the battle between the two, Wednesday almost missed an elderly witch enter the Great Hall from one of the side passages. Leaving the men to their fun, she walked over to greet the witch. "Madam Marchbanks I presume?"
"Yes, and you must be Miss Addams." Marchbanks said with a nod. "If you're done already, we should jump right into it. I've had you practical tests set up since this morning."
-o-o-
The older witch led Wednesday into a decent sized room that was at the rear of the Great Hall. Inside were various partitions, preventing Wednesday from seeing what was to come. What was visible, was a large pen that took up a third of the room. Inside was what looked like a cross between a horse and an eagle.
"To start, I'd like you to tell me what this creature is, and then demonstrate how you would ride it. A single lap around the enclosure will be sufficient." Marchbanks explained, holding her hand out toward the beast.
"A hippogriff." Wednesday answered. "A proud creature that will only allow someone they can respect to approach."
With that simple explanation, Wednesday entered the pen, and closed the gate behind her. Instead of bowing to the hippogriff, as was normally done, she merely stared into its eyes. After a short staring contest of a few seconds, the creature knelt, and bowed its head low.
Madam Marchbanks could only look on in wonder as the girl somehow made the hippogriff bow to her for no apparent reason. Without saying a word, Miss Addams climbed on, and sat sidesaddle. Again without prompt, the winged beast sedately made a circuit of the enclosure.
"Miss Addams." Marchbanks started as Wednesday exited the pen. "While unorthodox, you certainly completed the task set before you. Now, if you would, how on earth did you do that."
"Respect can stem from a mutual appreciation, or fear." The pale girl explained. "I prefer to work with fear. Most animals can sense when they're in the presence of something more dangerous than they are."
"Right, well then, let's move on shall we?" Marchbanks said as she rolled that idea around in her head.
There were three tasks for each section, which Wednesday dealt with easily. Several times she would do so in a way that Madam Marchbanks had never seen before.
When told to carve and power a simple runic alarm in a clay tablet, she used drops of her own blood to activate each rune, instead of using her wand.
When asked to finish a strengthening solution, she added several ingredients that should have made the potion lethal, or at the very least, render her extremely ill. Instead, Wednesday was able to easily lift the statue after drinking the potion. Technically Madam Marchbanks should have tested the potion on herself as well since it wasn't the standard recipe, but the resulting solution was so foul smelling, she chalked it up to an inferior American recipe. Instead of testing it, she vanished the disgusting brew before it could stink up the entire room.
Madam Marchbanks nearly screamed when Wednesday transplanted an adolescent mandrake. Instead of first putting on hearing protection, she thrust her hand in the pot, and pulled up a very irate mandrake. The deadly plant was prevented from screaming by the girls thumb, which was jammed down the root's throat.
"Relying on earmuffs is a good way to get yourself killed." Wednesday explained as the plant gurgled and thrashed in her grip. "This way you aren't depending on a piece of equipment that could fail." With the same casual indifference she'd displayed the entire test, Wednesday planted the struggling mandrake into a larger pot.
Marchbanks thanked Merlin that after that, the divination portion was rather anti-climactic. "Be a dear, and tell headmaster Tofty to come back here so we can discuss your overall grade."
"Yes ma'am." Wednesday agreed as she left the room.
-o-o-
"They certainly do things differently over in the states." Tofty said as he pointed out Wednesday's paragraph explaining the care and feeding of an African strangler. "You would almost think she was suggesting it as a good pet."
"Something is different about her education. There's no doubt about that." Marchbanks agreed. "If it weren't for the fact that everything she did worked, I'd fail her outright. She should have been attacked by that hippogriff when she stared at it like that. Instead, the thing treated her as if she was its master."
"We can process this officially later, when we have more time. For now can we agree that she got at least straight E's? I would say she has a few O's, but there are too many deviations from the accepted solutions, even if they do work." Tofty handed the completed test scroll over, and moved to return to his workstation.
The headmaster paused at the door. "You know Griselda, one of the main reasons I agreed to do this job was to get out from under so much paperwork."
"Oh hush Solomon." Marchbanks admonished. "You know this is a one time thing. We're all horribly pressed for time. Albus left us a great big mess. I'm starting to think old age is getting to him."
At that statement, Tofty raised his brow. "Aren't you a good..."
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean Solomon. I'm not a day over ninety nine. You know that." She said with a warning glare.
Walking out of the room, he chuckled under his breath inaudibly. "Sure, but you've been ninety nine for how many decades?"
-o-o-
Seeing no reason to chaperone the practically grown teenagers, Gomez had flooed directly home to Grimmauld place. This left Harry and Wednesday alone as they walked down Diagon alley, both intent on gathering their school supplies. Harry was also interested in finding a good gift for Gomez and Grandmama.
"That has to be the gaudiest store I've seen yet." Wednesday commented on a storefront that had a giant WWW prominently displayed. "It's painful to look at, should we see what it is?"
"Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes" Harry read out loud with a grin. "I think we should. After all, I'm their main investor."
As they walked through the door a bell chimed, and a voice called out from the back of the store. "We just reopened for the day, feel free to look around, we'll be with you in a moment!"
They wandered around the store for a minute or so, before an irate pair of redheads came storming up to Harry.
Fred bodily shoved Harry into a shelving unit filled with muggle magic tricks as George pointed his wand at Wednesday to ensure she wouldn't interfere. Jabbing his wand under Harry's throat, Fred hissed angrily. "Why'd you do it?"
"Do what?" Harry asked calmly, genuinely confused. He also noted that the twins each sported fresh scars, clearly marking them as no longer identical.
Deciding to let her boyfriend deal with whatever this was, Wednesday moved to peruse their other merchandise. George followed her with his wand, but seeing that she wasn't going to help Harry, didn't stop her.
"Do what? Do What!? You know damn well what you did!" Fred growled, pushing his wand into Harry's neck painfully. "It's because of you that Dad's in Saint Mungo's. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now."
"As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." Harry said, completely undisturbed by Fred's threat.
"George and I are full Order members now, so don't try to play dumb. We know all about how dark you've gone." Fred was practically snarling he was so worked up. "Your Death Eater buddies attacked the Burrow. If dad hadn't held off Bellatrix Lestrange as long as he did, we'd all be dead."
Harry thought for a moment. "So that's what she meant. Bellatrix mentioned she had some blood traitors to kill, I didn't know she meant you. I'm impressed, I wouldn't think your dad could match Bella."
Fred looked stricken. It was as if he hadn't really believed that Harry had gone as dark as everyone said. Taking advantage of the redhead's moment of inattention, Harry muttered, "Depulso."
Fred was thrown through the air and past Wednesday, who merely raised an eyebrow at the sight.
The Weasley twins never noticed that Harry had brought his wand up during the conversation, and they both were caught so off guard that George was unable to react in time to dodge the jet of red light that came next.
Harry's disarming charm did its job, leaving George without his wand. Another jet of light, and the twin found himself unable to move.
"Stupefy!" Fred's voice rang out, and a jet of angry red light streaked toward Harry.
Harry stopped himself from smiling as the spell hit, and threw him back into the shelves behind him. He let himself slump to the ground.
Fred ran forward to revive his brother, but as soon as he reached George, his wand exploded in his hand. Clutching his bleeding hand, he looked up to see Harry fully conscious, and smiling the same way Bellatrix had that awful day.
"Incarcerous." Harry intoned as he walked forward. "Now then. As much fun as that was, I didn't send Bella or any other Death Eaters to the Burrow. I've removed myself from the war, and I really don't think Voldemort would like it if I tried to order his minions around. Care to tell me what happened, or should I just kill you and be done with it?"
Anger still painted on every feature, Fred explained what happened.
-o-o-
Saturday, August 3rd
The Order meeting finished up, and everyone flooed away, except for Dumbledore, who lingered. An owl swooped in through the open window, and dropped a package into Dumbledore's hands before leaving.
Nearly as cautious as Mad-Eye now, at least with mail, Dumbledore scanned the package with every spell he could think of, including one that had been developed back in the Grindelwald war that rendered muggle explosives inert. Finding the package clean, he opened it and nearly dropped it in shock. "Severus!" Dumbledore paled, and immediately ran to the floo.
"What do you suppose," George started to ask.
"That was all about?" Fred finished.
"No idea, but it can't be good." Bill pointed out. "You two should go get Ron and Ginny. Fleur and I will help mum in the kitchen."
As soon as the twins returned with their younger siblings, the house shook, and there was a flash of light as the wards fell. An anti-apparition jinx had been cast, so everyone ran to the fireplace. Before anyone could reach it, a curse sailed through the window to strike the jar containing floo powder. The jar exploded, scattering powder across the mantle and floor.
Everyone drew their wands, and turned to face the windows as more curses came from outside. Black robed figures advanced across the yard, sending jet after jet of different colored light at the house.
Both Ron and Ginny stepped forward, intent on facing the Death Eaters head on, only to be pulled back by the twins. Fred and George acted as one, shoving their younger siblings back toward the fireplace.
"Gather up the powder, we need to get out of here fast!" The twins ordered together.
Fred and George began casting defensively. Doing their best to protect their entire family, they firmly stood in front of Ron and Ginny while the rest of the adults concentrated on the incoming dark wizards.
An explosive curse struck near the window that Bill and Fleur were casting through. The resulting damage caused a section of the wall to blow in, and fall onto Bill. The eldest son collapsed, his head bleeding profusely. The twins' cries were drowned out by Fleurs enraged shriek.
Swearing sulfurously in French, Fleur began casting with an enraged fervor. The twins watched in awe as the French witch viciously downed one Death Eater after another. It almost seemed as if she would wipe out the attackers herself, until a laughing witch stepped into view, and began swatting away Fleur's spells with contemptuous ease.
Bellatrix Lestrange smiled evilly, and between deflecting spells, she cast a nearly black, bluish-colored curse at Fleur. When Fleur attempted to bat the dark spell away, it detonated, sending shards of midnight through the air.
Being at the center of the explosion, Fleur was flung back where the twins did their best to catch her even as the shrapnel cut into them. The two redheads steadfastly refused to move, shielding Ron and Ginny with their bodies.
Molly's shriek of outrage at seeing her babies injured and her eldest unconscious, was nearly deafening. From the window where she and Arthur were casting, the Weasley matriarch rushed to defend her children, her husband followed close behind with a grim look of determination.
Taking advantage of Molly's blind rage, Bellatrix summoned a jet of flame, which the Weasley mother could not stop herself from rushing into. Reaching into the flames, Arthur threw his wife toward his sons, and stood resolute between Bellatrix and his family.
"We've got enough!" Ginny yelled, as Ron threw the first handful into the fire.
Ron and Ginny worked feverishly to send each of their injured family members through to Saint Mungo's, starting with Bill's girlfriend, Fleur. Their mother was next, followed by Bill. When they urged the twins to go next, George shoved Ginny through the flames.
"You're next Ron, we'll be right behind you!" Fred yelled as he watched his father fight a losing battle with the most feared witch in all of Britain.
Knowing that their father was only standing because of sheer determination, Fred and George cast cutting curses on either side of him to distract Bellatrix. No words were needed between the twins. As George grabbed Arthur and sent him through the flames, Fred cast as fast as he could with whatever spell came to mind.
"Fred!" George yelled, and Fred dove into the fireplace. George threw the last of the collected powder, and followed his twin.
-o-o-
Harry looked thoughtful. "Now I'm really impressed. She didn't manage to kill any of you."
"Not for lack of trying you sick wanker." Fred spat. "Fleur's still recovering, and because the curse was dark, she'll never look the same again. Bill hasn't left her side. Mum will manage a full recovery, thank Merlin, but Dad might never wake up. He's been in the intensive care ward since Saturday."
"Well, she'll probably be punished for not killing anyone, so cheer up. I'll bet Voldemort had her under the cruciatus as soon as he found out." Harry said as he patted Fred's cheek.
"This looks interesting, how does Peruvian instant darkness powder work?" Wednesday said as she walked over to the incapacitated twins. "Harry, let them go, or else they won't be able to sell us anything."
"Hm, I suppose you're right, sorry about that." He apologized to his girlfriend as he released the redheaded store owners.
Fred and George looked at each other incredulously, and as one they voiced their disbelief. "After all that, you're just letting us go?"
"Would you prefer I kill you?" Harry asked with a short laugh. "My girlfriend wants to shop. Besides, it wouldn't be very smart for me to kill the owners of a business I've invested in."
"Just take it and get out of here." George said with disgust.
"But how does it work?" Wednesday asked again, holding a small bag in the air.
"Toss some in the air, and the room will fill with darkness." George said with a flat, unfriendly stare.
"One question." Fred said while massaging his injured hand. George looked at his twin, for once not knowing what he was going to say. "Since you really have gone dark, why does Dumbledore want the Order to capture you so bad? Why doesn't he want to let the aurors handle you?"
"Two reasons." Harry said with a smirk. "I don't think I've really done anything that the aurors would bother arresting me for. The real reason though, is that Dumbledore is convinced that I'm the only one who can kill Voldemort. The old bastard wants to brainwash me into being his little selfless hero."
With that, Harry and Wednesday headed out of the store. "By the way, those scars look good on you. I'll let Bella know she does good work."
-o-o-
Severus Snape stared up at the ceiling. Today was a rest day, and he hated it so much. He was given an extremely potent painkiller and healed somewhat. They also gave him some form of entertainment; today's was the wireless, which was tuned to a station that discussed advances in potion making.
One day of torture, one day of rest. At first he looked forward to the rest day, but soon he realized what a horror it truly was. The torture that followed was always worse, and the anticipation was maddening. As soon as he realized what the rest periods meant for his torture, he tried to provoke Bellatrix into killing him. Instead, she cut out his tongue.
His tongue wasn't the only part he was missing now. Asclepius had broken his wand in front of him, and then drove the pieces through his hands. Then the twisted man had removed his hands. Now no matter what, he always felt the phantom pain of his own wand piercing his palms.
Snape felt the tears form, and let them fall as he continued to stare at the ceiling. Maybe if he was lucky, they'd kill him tomorrow.
-o-o-
Author's note: Next chapter, they're off to Hogwarts!
To Bill, reviewing chapter 10: I'm glad my story inspires nostalgia. That tells me I'm doing something right.
Even though intellectually I know that this Harry is evil, I can't really bring myself to consider this an evil Harry fic. After all, Harry and the Addams family are just so loving and happy.
To Joel, reviewing chapter 10: I'll admit this Dumbledore is manipulative, but I'll argue that he is not evil. He has done evil things, but all to ensure that Harry would not grow up to be worse than Voldemort. Even then, he probably wouldn't have tried to modify Harry at all, if not for his belief that Harry is the only one capable of defeating Voldemort.
To stoopid dawg, reviewing chapter 7: There is no such thing as a late review. Your thoughts and opinions are appreciated even if they no longer can influence the story.
I'm glad you like how I've inserted Harry into the Addams family. It's not quite seamless, but they fit together well all the same.
To Guest, reviewing chapter 9: Assuming you mean Tonks, yeah... she's not handling things too well is she? You'd think that, as an auror she'd be able to process things more calmly.
To Guest, reviewing chapter 10: I could not imagine an Addams-ish Harry not taking full advantage of his Parseltongue skills. Thus, hundreds of snakes to play with.
To Mizu, reviewing chapter 10: First, thanks for continuing to review each chapter. It's always nice to see the same names pop up in the reviews.
You should see at least some of the Blacks' responses to Harry's plans for the family next chapter.
Dumbledore has no say regarding who gets hired to teach at Hogwarts now. He got stripped of his position as headmaster back in chapter 9. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear; you aren't the only one to not catch that. As of chapter 9, Dumbledore is just the leader of the Order of the Phoenix. He has no other positions of authority.