Difficulties of Avoidance

by dead2self

A/N: Good news to anyone still reading, I've actually got a bit of a buffer built up on this story. Amazing! Hopefully that means I'll be able to update regularly for a few weeks. No promises beyond that, but I'm happy to be able to share this with you. Thanks to those of you who reviewed the last chapter. Reviews encourage me to write! Enjoy!

Ginny spent the week leading up to their detention with Hagrid pouring over the text she had copied from Snape's office. She had conjured it into the cover of an old journal to stave off prying eyes, and produced a copy for Luna as well. Together they waded through the archaic text, taking more notes than Ginny had ever produced for a class. Then, her classes had never felt quite so life or death.

Defense Against the Dark Arts, however, was well on its way. As seventh year students, Carrow believed it was appropriate, if not vital, that they all produce a Cruciatus Curse before the end of term. Oddly, Ginny was paired more often with the Slytherins of their class than anyone else.

The last day of the week, she found herself paired with Harper, who faced her with a grim look. "I bet this makes your day," she hissed while they saluted each other. His eyes darted to Carrow at the other end of the classroom.

"You know it doesn't," he said out the side of his mouth. It was so quiet Ginny barely heard him. But it took her off-balance and she missed the swipe of Amycus' hand, the signal to begin. The next moment she was on the floor screaming.

Harper did not hold it out as long as he could have, but certainly longed than he needed. She came back to her senses staring up at an offered hand. Harper had some look of mock horror pasted on his face.

"I thought you'd dodge."

Her whole body creaked, but she knocked his hand aside. "You arse," she coughed out, struggling to her feet. She had not yet produced a Cruciatus Curse – apparently she never meant it well enough – but she felt she could right then. Harper was the first one who had hit her all week.

One eye on Carrow, she poked at her stomach and her ribs. They were sore but nowhere near as bad as they had been. This probably would not warrant a trip to the Hospital Wing, not again. Harper still hovered near her. "I—"

Fortunately Ginny was saved from another duel by their professor, who chose that moment to halt the exercise. He had been struck with the need to pontificate the rest of the class period on the Muggle-born filth that had corrupted the Wizarding world. He was calling them what the Daily Prophet did these days: Undesirables. Ginny used it as an opportunity to practice quieting her emotions. It was about the only thing she understood about Occlumency thus far and that was not promising for her. She mangled two quills listening to the swill coming out of Amycus' mouth.

How was anyone expected to practice Occlumency at all times, she wondered as she stumped to her next class. How would it be possible to stare someone she hated – or feared – in the face and suppress that feeling so that she could protect her mind? Personally, she felt they had a promising candidate with whom to practice. Luna was less sure.

"It doesn't seem like a good idea," said Luna. They were able to have a muffled conversation during Transfiguration. "What if he discovers the Death Eaters have overtaken Hogwarts? We ought to learn the Legilimens spell ourselves to practice at first."

Luna had unearthed books on Legilimency from the library, but if anything it seemed more complicated that Occlumency – and more dangerous to get wrong. Apparently a miscast Legilimens could rebound on the user or damage the intended target.

"I don't think that's the sort of magic you're meant to teach yourself."

"And I don't believe Occlumency is the sort to test out on one of the best Legilimens of our age."

Ginny sighed, moving gingerly so that she could rest her head on her other hand. She almost wished Tom knew. Of course, she did not truly. He would become more ruthless. But she had enjoyed the short period of time when they had nothing to hide from him, when she could look him in the eye.

"It would be better to practice for the first time against Tom than against Snape," she muttered. She glanced side-along at Luna, who had turned her attention back to her notes. Her hand quavered as she wrote. Ginny had never seen her more run down.

Luna noticed her watching and then returned her eyes to her notes. After a moment, she stopped writing. "I feel like I'm on the wrong side," she whispered.

Ginny's heart wrenched. "I know," she said. "But you aren't." Under the table she seized Luna's free hand and held on tight. "We're turning him against them. Just think of Snape's face when he sees him, when he's standing next to us. When that happens, it will all be because of you."

Luna's fingers tightened around hers. "He's still horrible."

"I find him rather pleasant."

Luna croaked out a sound stuck between a sob and a laugh. She bent quickly over her parchment, quill moving idly.

"I know," Ginny repeated. She noticed McGonagall looking their way and quickly picked up her quill with her off hand, scratching unevenly at her parchment.

"It'll be because of you. Tom hardly speaks to me anymore."

"He's only doing that to make you feel like you don't matter. But you do."

"It's nothing. He thinks he is dividing us, but I don't mind. He doesn't know it yet, but he's going to come around because of you."

Ginny swallowed carefully. Luna set down her quill and patted Ginny's hand under the table. Then she let it go.

"I'd have cursed him into Mungo's if it wasn't for you." That teased a smile from Luna. "I'll take care of him for you tonight, and you can get some rest before your patrol. My Disillusionment Charm is loads better now. How's that?"

Luna nodded but they were interrupted by McGonagall instructing them to pair up and practice growing beards on their partner's face. The room soon devolved into involuntary laughter as several girls sprouted impressive handlebar mustaches and an over exuberant spell sent Colin tripping on his impressive, floor-length white beard. Luna was soon in stitches over the silver goatee that she had transfigured for Ginny, and Ginny shot back with a bushy ginger beard that overtook Luna's face. As her classmates compared facial hair, Ginny was laughing harder than she had in weeks. McGonagall called for order, but rather less insistently than normal. After class, Ginny wondered if that was what their professor had planned from the beginning.

After dinner the Disillusionment Charm made it far easier to slip into the forbidden seventh floor corridor even with other students still milling about. She simply had to move slowly or the air appeared to shimmer too much. Once in the empty corridor, though, she idled before a window. The sky was sputtering, gray and dreary, which would make their detention in the morning miserable. She took a deep breath, because she was not stopping to ponder the weather.

Her offer to take Luna's shift with Tom was not entirely altruistic. Something in her gut told her this was the right thing to do, but Luna was not wrong. There was some danger to it. Tom could perform Legilimency without a wand. She simply would not give him reason to dig deeper than sorting out her petty lies, not at first.

She took another steeling breath, curling her wand in her fingers, and cleared her mind like the text had said, like she had practiced before bed all week. It was harder standing before the door, with constant fears fighting at the edges of thought. But, she reminded herself, if anything she was entering more defended than she ever had been before.

"You again?" he asked even though she was still Disillusioned. Ginny removed the charm and took his dinner out of her bag. Time to give this a try.

She bent over her bag again so he could not look into her eyes. "Luna's refusing to come in. Why are you being such a git to her?"

"You know why," said Tom idly, taking the utensils she handed him. He waited while she Conjured him a plate and tried to keep a smug look off her face. Normally he could pick out her lies even without eye contact, a trick she now knew, thanks to their extensive reading, was quite advanced. She glanced away again to remove the protective charms from his food.

"So that you can tear the two of us apart? She's not angry with me; she's angry with you."

"I don't believe your resolve will last long without hers."

"I think you're underestimating the stubbornness of a youngest sibling."

"Her idealism fuels yours."

Ginny snorted, because that was a fairly strong evaluation of her relationship with Luna. "Merlin, why would anyone want to follow you around all the time? You are insufferable."

"Power, Weasley."

"Not worth it. Perhaps your sense of humor?"

He sighed and resumed his meal, but Ginny could not help it. She was giddy at her success. She probably should have stopped there but instead she sat in the chair next to his. Checking her emotions, she caught his gaze so that she could clearly see the color of his eyes.

Her mind was like a white space.

"It's a nice night," she lied, keeping eye contact. "I wish I could trust you enough to take you outside. You probably miss seeing the sky."

"The sky is not the first on my list of things I miss."

"What do you miss?"

He set a finger alongside his nose and shook his head at her. "Trying new tricks, Weasley? What happened to honesty?"

Her heart, too soon leaping at the success, took a sharp plummet into her stomach. "I'm only leveling the playing field. Who says I'm not being honest?"

"Well… We'll see how long you can keep it up."

"You know me. I'd do anything to keep gazing into those big brown eyes of yours."

"I must admit I am rather disappointed it took you so long to attempt this. Not surprised, of course. Fancy trying your hand at Legilimency while you're at it?"

It was tempting. She certainly would not worry about damaging his mind, but what if poor Legilimency left one's mind more open to attack? And likely he would not outright repel her; he would subject her to witnessing a memory too terrible to imagine, things she would never be able to un-see.

"I wouldn't go near your mind for a sackful of Galleons," she scoffed. "But I was doing it right, yeah?"

He shrugged, studiously eating his meal. She let out an exaggerated groan.

"Just tell me. Homework help."

"Occlumency is not a subject taught at Hogwarts."

His eyes were downcast, so she tried one more time. "Of course it is. End of the year seminar. Did they not offer it to seventh years back in the forties?"

He studied her a moment and then shook his head. "No, that is impossible. Dumbledore sat on the committee that retired its teaching."

"Ah!" she cried, throwing a finger in his face. "I did do it."

He brushed her hand aside. "An elementary construction. Should I concentrate, I would expect to penetrate it. Anyone with a wand would have little trouble. I take it Lovegood is not upset with me?"

"No, she's having a nap."

He surprised her by chuckling. "Fair enough, Weasley. I appreciate the challenge. Should you require further practice, I humbly submit myself for consideration." Lips quirking, he added, "Though, of course, there are no longer any secrets between us."

"Of course." She stretched in her seat, fingers interlocked. "That's very thoughtful of you. It's possible I'll quickly outpace your ability to read my thoughts and then you'll have helped me defend myself." Flashing him a grin, she gave herself one last stretch, hands high over her head. Her sore muscles groaned and then a twinge shot through her ribs and up through her chest. Yelping, she folded over herself and her cry softened into a moan.

She saw movement out the corner of her eye and shoved the pain aside, flinging her wand in Tom's direction. A non-verbal jinx knocked him back into his chair, toppling both to the floor with an impressive crash. She forced herself to her feet, arm wrapped around her middle, and put some distance between them.

"I was merely concerned," he said as he collected himself from the ground.

"I'm sure." Swearing, she tested at her ribs again. Clearly Harper's curse had done more damage than she had thought.

"Looks nasty. You ought to get a potion for that."

At her scowl he adopted such a perfect mask of concern that she had to laugh.

"That's why people follow you around. Impeccable acting skills." Still, she covered her retreat to the door with her wand up. To her surprise, he chuckled.

"Perhaps your most accurate evaluation yet, Weasley. Do get some rest. I hate to see you so vulnerable, healing unevenly."

"Laugh it up, Riddle."

It took Luna some time to release her but Riddle made no other move on her except to study her. She took the opportunity to attempt clearing her mind while in pain, staring down her greatest fear.

At least her Disillusionment Charm was getting better she noted when she slipped out. She could have taken it off before she got to the Hospital wing as it was not yet past curfew, but the walk was good practice. On the way only a few people noticed the sound of her feet scuffing the ground, and they seemed to brush off the noise as their imagination or a passing ghost.

Turning the corner towards the hospital wing, she stopped short and swallowed a gasp. There was a line out the door! Or rather, a line at the door, for there stood Alecto Carrow with a length of parchment and a black quill. A third year student trembled in front of her as she apparently found his name on her list.

"Causing trouble in Defense today, I see," she snarled. "I see no reason to admit you. The Mediwitch has too much to do to trouble with you. Next."

Ginny backtracked slowly as the boy retreated from the line. There was no way Alecto would be letting her through. She would have to find a different time to ask Madam Pomfrey for help. Instead she trailed the boy walking away. He was paler than she was and his hands had not stopped shaking. If he had gotten in trouble in Defense, that probably meant he'd been cursed.

She gritted her teeth so hard they clacked and the boy looked around in puzzlement. She needed to learn Occlumency and fast, because it was not going to be long before she ended up in Snape's office again. He and his cronies deserved hell, and she was going to give it to them.