Chapter 19:
"When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, 'What was it that you wanted and why didn't you fight for it?' "
―Shannon L. Alder
With a deep breath, I opened my eyes and I could see everything clearly. I was staring up at a snow-white ceiling and I could hear the soft beeping of a heart monitor. I remembered being brought into St. Thomas after...I yelled at Dad. I shut my eyes again and scolded myself for making a scene like that. It was one thing to snap on him under our own roof or even in his dorm, but I screamed and cursed at him in front of all the Sons in the middle of the goddamn clubhouse. That was embarrassing on both ends. I honestly couldn't control myself though. I was so angry from getting kidnapped, after being promised I'd be safe with the Sons, and because Dad thought it was just fine to up and leave without saying a word.
But that's how things worked in the life of Son. When the club needed them, they drop everything to serve their cause without a moment's thought.
I could care less about what Dad had to leave the state for because I understood that it was more than likely club business. I preferred to keep out of what they got into and they seemed to be a-okay with keeping me out of their affairs unless it would affect me, just like when Kip told me about the fight. Dad could've done the same thing, but he obviously didn't give a damn about me.
Upon hearing the click of the door, I cracked an eye open and saw Tara poke her head in. I sat up a bit and smiled at her as she came in and sat down in the armchair next to the bed.
"Good morning." She smiled. "How are you feeling? Any headaches or dizziness, feelings of nausea?"
"Nope. I feel good, much better than I was yesterday."
"That's good. This is what I want you to do for the next few weeks. Just kick back and relax." I smiled when Tara's tone changed from her a professional doctor to a mother's gently strict voice. She was turning more into a Mom as the days went by and I wondered if Jax wanted Abel to call her 'Mommy' when he started talking. Just thinking about the sweet blue-eyed baby made my heart skip a beat. Maybe I could babysit him while I was on bed-rest. "Your concussion was the top concern." Tara said, bringing me back to her rundown. "We gave you a CT scan and there was no internal damage. Your ankle was a Grade l sprain and the swelling's gone down, so you'll be able to walk on it within another week or so, but don't push yourself. If it hurts, stay off it."
"Yes, ma'am." I giggled at Tara and she was trying to keep her serious face, but she cracked a smirk.
"Your wrist was a grade Grade ll sprain, a larger, but incomplete tear." She motioned to my limb and I looked down at it, just realizing I had a black splint covering it. The implement ran from the webbing of my thumb and down a few inches past my wrist. It felt like it was made of elastic and the sustained compression made me feel like I was wearing a glove. "The swelling went down enough for the splint to be put on, but you still have to keep ice on it and it'll be very tender to the touch. You shouldn't experience any pain until our drugs wear off, but stock up on anti-inflammatory painkillers. I'll come visit you about once a week to adjust the splint as the swelling goes down. "
"How long do I have to keep it on?"
"For the next 4 to 6 weeks, but it could be off sooner. It all depends on how much R & R you get." I nodded at Tara's words and she smiled at me.
"Is Kip still here?"
"I wanted you to rest, so I disallowed any visitors, but he hasn't left since you were brought in." She smiled at me again and I felt my cheeks flush. Kip was always being a sweetheart. "Your Dad and the other man are still here too."
"Zane, he's a friend from back home." I told her and she nodded.
"They're all in the waiting room. I'll go tell Chibs he can sign you out." She stood and gently peeled the bandage holding the IV into my right arm off, then tenderly slid the needle out. She rubbed the tiny hole down with an alcohol pad and put a band-aid on it.
Tara went to the other side of the room and put a new set of folded clothes at the end of my bed. She told me she'd send in someone to help me get dressed and left the room. A few minutes later, my bright-eyed boyfriend came in and he wouldn't stop smiling at me. He asked how I was feeling, then helped me to sit on the side of the bed. Surprisingly, there were no titillating touches when he got me out of the hospital gown and into the clothes. There was some fighting on my end when he told me Tara recommended a goddamn ankle brace because I didn't want to have that huge thing attached to my foot, but Kip showed me the brace. It looked like a sock without a heel and instep; it matched my splint. Once I was dressed, I was ready to bunny-hop out of here, but Kip had another idea.
"This is degrading." I grumbled and I could feel the bastard smiling as he rolled me down the sterile halls of St. Thomas. I've been scowling since Kip made me sit in this goddamn wheelchair and whenever we stopped, he'd give me a kiss on the cheek, which only made me start to mutter empty threats. "I don't need to be in this thing."
"Yes, you do." He chirped.
"I'm not handicapped!" I protested and he laughed.
Kip pushed us outside and told me that Dad was maneuvering out of the maze of a parking lot with the van, but he should be around in a minute. He gave me a kiss before he went to get his bike and I started patting myself down for a cigarette since someone went to my house to get some of my clothes. Luckily, I found a crumpled fag in my front pocket with a matchbook. As soon as I pulled a long drag, I was relaxed by the calming effects of nicotine. A few of the employees bringing patients in or out eyed me, but I didn't give a damn if I was in a no-smoking zone and they could kiss my ass because I wasn't going to put it out.
Another 5 minutes passed before I heard Kip's bike and it parked in front of me. I raised an eyebrow when I noticed that his Dyna got a glossy black paint job and there was a Reaper emblem on his gas tank. Kip smirked at me with his shades on, but he lost it when someone got out of the van. It was Zane and he cocked an eyebrow at the wheelchair, so I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled.
"When'd ya' start smokin'?" Dad asked from the rolled down window as Zane was gently helping me out of the wheelchair.
"When did you start caring?" I retorted in irritation and dropped the stick to the ground, stepping on it as Zane helped me into the passenger seat.
Thankfully, Zane was creating a barrier between Dad and I as we started driving. I didn't want to talk to him or be within 10 feet of him and I stayed silent through his attempts to start a conversation, only giving short, one-worded answers when he asked how I was doing. When we pulled into the lot of the clubhouse, Kip was the one to open my door and take me out of the van. I almost missed it, but I caught the dark look he shot behind me. I didn't get to say anything about it because he picked me up and was carrying me to the clubhouse.
"Will you put me down?" I scolded as we walked through the bar and all the Sons seemed to be waiting for us.
"Tara said you shouldn't be mobile, so no. You're lucky I didn't bring the wheelchair." He smiled down at me and I glowered at him, but snuggled into his chest. I hated being babied, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying being close to him.
Kip walked into the Chapel and oh-so gently set me down on the edge of the table. I was taking in every detail of the huge Reaper that made up most of the table while Clay took his seat at the head. Dad, Jax and Tig piled in and Clay called Zane in before the doors were shut. The President asked me to tell them everything that happened on the night of my kidnapping and not to leave out a single detail. I knew I was a little out of it when they asked me the first time, so I had no problem telling the story again with every aspect from the second Diesel woke me up to blacking out in the car crash. I saw a look of pain flash across Zane's face when that part came up and I hoped he didn't take responsibility for what happened because it wasn't his fault. Who knows what would've happened if he hadn't come along.
"Marci, we got some people for you to look at." Clay said after I finished and Jax put a pair of photos face-down in front of me. "We know you think the Spartans sent someone to take you, but we have to eliminate another possibility. Were either of these men in the house?"
Looking down, Jax flipped the squares over and I had a feeling that I wasn't going to see the Drifter. The first man was way too old and the other guy was- I started frowning at the photo of the second man. He wasn't the Drifter either, but I've seen him before.
"He was there too..." I said out loud, but more to myself and Kip put his hand on my knee. "When we went to the market, the Drifter was there with his fatboy and when you went back inside for Bobby's Twinkies, that guy popped up outta nowhere." I pointed to the photo of the brown-eyed man with his stony features.
"Ethan Zobelle and AJ Weston." Jax said and tapped the names that belonged to the men. "Did Weston approach you?"
"One of the bags ripped and he grabbed everything, told me to have a blessed day. I thought he was just being nice." Glancing around the silent room, I noticed all of the Sons giving each other a certain look as if they were communicating though their thoughts and knew something was up with that man. "Is he gonna try to kidnap me too?" I asked in a sullen and annoyed tone. The mere thought of going through that bullshit again was exhausting and making me cranky.
"No 'cause you're stayin' here for a few days." Dad answered in a protective tone from across the table where he stood next to Tig, both of them having stern eyes and deep frowns.
I glanced behind Kip to the leather loveseat where Zane was sitting on the armrest to see his reaction, knowing that he'd be in a defensive mood because of what happened yesterday. Knowing him, he probably wanted me to stay wherever he was living now.
Zane's arms were folded over his chest, his expression blank and impassive as he listened on, and I just noticed his attire. A white, slim-fit dress shirt clung to his muscular torso and not one button was unfastened. The shirt was neatly tucked into wrinkle-free, black chino pants and lying across the top of the loveseat was a matching black blazer. An expensive looking watch was on his left wrist and he just unfastened his cuff-links to cuff his sleeves up to his elbows with practiced grace, exposing all the new ink on his arms. Christ in Heaven, he looked like he just walked out of Quantum of Solace and it was a little strange seeing him so gussied up because I was used to seeing him in jeans and flannels.
I realized that my glance was turning into a stare, but Zane's eyes met mine before I could look away. He smirked at me and the gesture made heat prickle at my cheeks.
"Alright, Marci. You go rest." Clay said and fondly squeezed my shoulder. "Get well soon, sweetheart."
I sweetly smiled at Clay and went to slide off the table. Zane got up just as Kip went to help me and now, I was in the middle of them with both of their hands gently closed around my upper arms. Glancing up, I could clearly see how pissed Kip was because his eyes displayed his emotions like movies on a screen. Reading Zane was a bit harder, but he didn't look too happy to have Kip close either.
This is something I was worried about. Both of them were going to be overprotective of me and I knew Zane wasn't just going to drop off the face of the Earth just because Kip was around now. Worst case scenario, he was comparing him to Gage and I didn't want that because Kip was nothing like that lunatic. I thought back to all the time that passed while I was in the hospital and how Tara said neither of them left. One of them had to say something to provoke the other and that had to be where this little competition was stemming from.
"C'mon now, kids, play nice." Jax tutted from his spot next to Clay, but Kip and Zane were still attempting to strangle each other with their eyes. "If you can't learn to share, neither of you get to play with her and I get her all to myself." Both men's heads snapped to Jax when the blond said that and I heard a few snickers. By now, I would've hoped that Kip was used to Jax's frivolous coquets and knew that there wasn't an ounce of seriousness in them at all. Zane had the right to give Jax that weird look. The VP didn't seem bothered by either of their reactions because he was still grinning like a wolf, but he inclined his head to Kip. "Sack, take your girl to your dorm and help her relax while we talk to Zane. Once she's settled, come join us."
"Yes, sir." Kip answered with a smug little smirk of his own, catching on to Jax's innuendo as I did. He was not helping this situation at all.
Knowing it'd be useless, I didn't fuss when Kip scooped me up again and I wanted to punch Jax right in his stupid face for that comment, but I restrained myself. Tig told me to get better and the rest of the Sons piled in the Chapel, extending their good wishes, before Kip was taking us to his room. He gently set me on the edge of the bed and got on his knees, inspecting the black brace around my foot.
"Tara said the drugs would wear off soon." He said and tenderly set my foot on his lap to gingerly massage it, then he looked up at me with those angelic eyes. "Does anything hurt?"
"I saw what you did in there." I ignored his question and Kip feigned obliviousness, batting his blue eyes at me in mock innocence. "Please don't be like that to Zane. He's just worried about me and he has the right to. He watched me get into that wreck, probably blames himself."
"...I was worried about you too..." Kip muttered and I felt a piece of my heart break at the sorrow in his eyes. I didn't mean to sound like I was picking sides. He let out a soft sigh and carefully set my leg on the carpet. He scooted closer to me and I saw his brows pull together when he looked at the splint on my arm. "I didn't know what to do when I couldn't find you...then you come to the clubhouse all banged up and it was because I wasn't there to protect you...he was." He let the word fall from his mouth in complete bitterness. "And now he thinks I'm unfit to be with you because of it, because I don't know exactly how tall you are or what your favorite flowers are or how I don't know what to do when you have an Anxiety Attack. How could I help you when I never knew about it? Who the hell is he to judge me anyway?"
Kip's jaw went tight and his hand went to the back of his neck, irritably rubbing it. I should've known Zane was going to say something to him when they were alone. If he didn't like someone, he was going to point out each and every flaw they had just to be malevolent. They way he delivered the blows were what usually got people ticked off. He'd look them in the eye and just let the insults spill from his lips in the laziest way, as if he had something better to do, but was humoring the other person. Zane definitely knew how to instantly get under someone's skin and from the looks of it, he was burrowing deep into Kip's.
"Let me talk to him." I proposed and Kip looked repulsed at the idea, but I put on my best puppy-dog eyes to plead for me. Like I knew he would, he gave in with a groan and a muttered 'fine'.
"I'm gonna stop by your house after Church, get some clothes, your laptop and your art stuff." Kip was tugging me to the head of the bed and he propped some extra fluffed pillows behind my back to let me sit up. He reached on the nightstand and gave me a remote, pointing to the 20-inch monitor on his dresser. "If you need anything, just call Phil. I'll be back soon."
With a kiss on my head, Kip quietly shut the door behind him and I flicked the TV on.
As time passed, Phil knocked and poked his head inside the door a few times to ask if I was alright or if I needed anything. After the millionth time, I asked him to come join me because he seemed to be worrying himself sick by constantly checking on me. Phil came in with enough snacks to make a pile on the lower corner of the bed and my eyes instantly locked on a pink box of strawberry Pocky sticks.
Phil never asked about my injuries, but whenever there was a commercial, I'd catch him glance at me with sympathetic eyes. The Sons have probably been drilling him on keeping his mouth shut and not sticking his nose into everyone's business, so I didn't say anything about it. Instead, I asked him how his prospecting was going and we laughed over some of the outrageous things the Sons have already been making him do. He said he missed Miles though. I didn't know that they used to shoot pool here, that they were friends, before Opie approached them with the offer of possibly becoming a Son.
Things were pretty quiet after that, but I felt so horrible. I was responsible for his friend's death. I couldn't help but wonder if Miles would still be around if I went over to Gemma's instead...I think the outcome of the night would've been worse. Tara and Gemma could've gotten hurt in the Drifter's haste to capture me...or little Abel could've gotten caught in the mix. I would never forgive myself if that innocent baby got hurt because of me.
When Kip came back in, I immediately noticed his expression and officially deemed it his 'Son Face'. His blue eyes were as hard as steel, he looked like he was ready to throw someone through a wall and he was keeping his scowl at bay, but I could still see it. Kip asked Phil of he was being good company to me, then told the beefy Prospect to leave his room. For the second time today, I saw Kip's jaw clench and sighed through his nose before opening the door more and standing to the side to reveal Zane waiting behind him.
"I'll be right outside, Marci." Kip said to me, but his eyes were on Zane. They didn't break their stares as Zane stepped into the room and Kip shut the door.
"Here." Zane said as I was scooting to the foot of the bed and I shot him a warning look before he tried to help me. He smirked and pulled the chair from the desk to the edge of the bed. He dug in his pocket and had something fuchsia in his hand. He gave it to me and I couldn't believe the historic artifact I was holding. A Nokia 6700 slide. The poor thing was as small as an MP3 player. "My number's saved in there and the phone's untraceable, so you can text me too." Still a bit stunned by the outdated phone, I nodded and shook my head. My attention went to Zane and I just stared at him for a second, his formal attire still conspicuous to me.
"Jesus, you look like Jin Akanishi's long-lost twin brother." I smiled and Zane chuckled. "When in the holy hell did you start wearing loafers and cuff-links?"
"Excuse me, but these are oxfords." He smiled at me and smoothed his shirt out, making sure his collar was cuffed. "This is the uniform for my new job."
"You found another pack to run with?" I asked and he shrugged, his arms folding over his chest.
"I'm working in San Fran now and there's some guys up there that ride. Since I got my new motorcycle, I've gotten invited to a few races, but I haven't entered once since before you left." I hummed in response, my attention on every detail of each tattoo on his arms. I knew he wasn't going to tell me what he was doing for money now, so I wasn't going to waste the energy trying to pry it from him. My ears twitched at the sound of faint giggling and I knew some of the Crow Eaters were in the hall. From the sound of it, they were welcoming Kozik to Charming. "The Sons have Doxies too?" Zane asked, looking over his shoulder at the door.
"Yeah, but they're called Crow Eaters and sweetbutts around here."
"Sweetbutts?" He questioned, his face scrunching in confusion and amusement. "Of all the names, they picked sweetbutt?"
"I wasn't born when the decision was made." I giggled and he shook his head with a chuckle. Noticing how we were mimicking one of the first conversations I had with Kip, I remembered why Zane was in here. "Lay off him, will you?"
"Who?"
"Kip. I know you've been picking with him."
"I haven't done anything wrong." He justified and I almost believed him, but the devious smirk that pulled at his lips gave his lie away.
"I'm serious, Zane." I said and he looked like he was waiting for me to drop my deadpan tone, but I didn't. He must've caught on to the seriousness of the moment because his smirk vanished and he leaned on his knees, giving me his attention. "He treats me right and I'm happy with him. He's nothing like Gage either. He's never yelled at me or raised his hand to me or anything like that. He's a good guy."
"I don't like you being around here." Zane gave a slight shake of his head, his tone clear and firm. "The Sons, this town...nothing here is safe enough."
"I'm fine here. The Sons are protecting me and they always know what's going on. They're family."
"Were you fine when that mercenary was halfway back to Scotts Valley with you in the goddamn trunk? Were they protecting you then?" I sighed at his words, looking away from him, but said the corner of my eye, I saw him move and his fingers caught my chin, making me look at him. His eyebrows were fixed in a furrow and his eyes softened when they met mine, but they were still hard with perseverance. "Marceline, I watched your 'boyfriend' look at you like you were biting the head off a puppy yesterday. How many Attacks have you had since you left and how many times has he just stood there and watched?"
"He didn't know what to do because I didn't tell him. My Dad found the Librium I'm taking and he thought I was a goddamn Junkie, but he's the only one that knew about it. The medicine's getting it under control, so I didn't need to tell him."
"This is unacceptable." Zane scoffed with a bitter laugh, standing. He started to pace in front of the bed. "Your Dad thinks you're a pill-popping tweaker, your boy-toy's just another leather-wearing prick and nobody in this alleged 'family' of yours had the common fucking courtesy to check-in with you all night. Am I'm the only one around here that gives a shit about you?" I cocked an eyebrow when he cursed because Zane tended to have a very censored vocabulary around me. "I don't want you here anymore." He declared and I scoffed.
"Where am I supposed to go, Zane? I don't have anyone else."
"You always have me." Zane stared at me for a long minute to let his compassionate words sink in and when they did, I hung my head. I felt the faint heat on my cheeks and hated that he could make me blush like that. "We can go anywhere, Marci." His voice lowered to a soft implore and I didn't dare look at him. I didn't trust myself to stay unconvinced if I saw the raw emotion in his eyes. "You say the place and I'll get us there however I can. I'll carry you on my back to Canada if I have to."
"I'm not leaving Charming." I gravely told him, picking my head up. "I don't wanna run anymore, Zane. I've settled here and I'm gonna stay here. The Sons are gonna do something about the Spartans and I'm gonna be fine."
Zane opened his mouth to say something, but the chiming of a phone cut him off. He sighed and pulled another disposable from his pocket, having his conversation in a language that my prying ears couldn't understand. He flipped the small phone shut and replaced the chair back at the desk.
"I gotta go." He informed me, though it sounded like he didn't want to leave. "My place should be finished being fumigated by tonight. I'll drop a key off at your house." Swiftly, Zane turned and crossed the room until he was at my side. He gazed down at me for a second, then his lips went to my forehead. "I'll call when I can...take care of yourself, babe."
His hand lingered on my cheek for a second before it dropped. Reluctantly, he went to let himself out and he didn't stop to so much as glance Kip.