Chapter 24:
"I can't protect you without holding a sword. I can't embrace you while holding a sword."
―Tite Kubo, Bleach, Volume 05
Dad's celebratory dinner wasn't as much of a happy occasion as it should've been. With Jax and Dad throwing venomous glares at one another and the currently pardoned VP not letting go of whatever altercation happened before they got here, there wasn't a second of calmness or silence. The other Sons got mixed up in the commotion and the two-sided argument grew six more standpoints which did nothing to pacify the situation. Bobby was even spitting fire.
All the men were barking at each other about something I couldn't clearly understand, most likely club business, but insurrection and cynicism seemed to be the anvils dangling over all their heads. To make matters worse, a goddamn brawl almost broke out and it was close to impossible to get everyone to calm the fuck down.
The conclusion of the night was met with Jax storming out of the house with a frightened and crying Abel on his shoulder and Tara's hand locked in his grip. The rest of the men took the hint and began piling out, though some of them stayed long enough to make themselves a plate to take home. When Dad left, he was on his bike and he didn't wait for me to try and catch up with him. I knew it couldn't have been a good idea for him to be riding after he just got out of the hospital, but I knew it'd do him some good. The ride would clear his head and calm him down.
Jasmine and I stayed behind to help Gemma clean up, but she shooed us off and told Kip to make sure I got home safe, telling Juice the same with Jasmine. Kip didn't ride with me though, he was on his bike too and I knew he was just as pissed as everyone else. When we got home, he waited for me at the curb and apologized for what happened. I didn't think it was his fault, but I think he was apologizing because I was there to see that outburst. With a long hug and a kiss goodnight, Kip rode off into the night and I went inside.
I got ready for bed, but the house wasn't comfortable to me tonight. I wasn't afraid of anything bad happening because Diesel was the most loyal watchdog ever and I had my gun, but something still felt a bit off. Maybe it was because neither Dad nor Kip were here with me and they were both upset and I was worried about it could've been that little detail of someone, ironically, being murdered in the goddamn living room. Either way, I got tired of flopping around like a fish in bed and ended up going to the kitchen for a midnight snack.
With a tall glass of chocolate milk, with an extra few shots of syrup, and warm cookies, I decided to sit on the couch in the living room. I wasn't going to avoid an entire room of my house just because of what happened, no matter how tragic it was.
It was almost 3 AM when I actually started dozing off. I grabbed a pillow and blanket from my room and Diesel was laying on me from the stomach down. I could feel him snoring a little and it was a calming feeling. Before my eyes shut, I felt the vibrations from Diesel's light snoring abruptly stop and his head snapped up. I reached under my pillow and got a grip on my pistol, but sighed when I heard a motorcycle coming down the street.
After another minute or so, Dad came in and Diesel didn't jump off the couch to go greet him. He made a rumbling noise before Dad went into his room and he stopped, noticing us in the dark.
"Hey, dovey. I wake you?" He softly enquired.
"Couldn't sleep." I shrugged and I saw Dad's silhouette nod. He sounded a bit tired and he just peeled his kutte off, tossing it on the armchair. "Oh, I got you something."
Getting off the couch, I went back to my room and got Dad's present from my closet. When I came back, Dad switched a lamp on and he was sitting on the sofa with Diesel across his lap. I shooed the dog away, then set the box on his knees. Dad's eyebrows went up in curiosity and he smirked before giving the box a subtle shake. He opened it, pulled the newsboy cap out and chuckled at it. He went to the mirror next to the door to see how he looked with the cap on, smiled again and said he liked it.
"You okay...with Jax and everything?" Dad sighed as he plopped down into the cushion next to me. He took his hat off, then scrubbed his hands over his face.
"Don't think he's makin' the right choice, but I guess I gotta be at ease with it." That didn't sound too convincing, but I let it slide because it was 3 in the morning.
For a few minutes, we sat in silence and I could feel waves of stress radiating from Dad. Sleep was futile now because my brain was filling with questions and most of them were revolving around Fiona and Kerrianne. I wanted to know why Dad was in Belfast when he was from Scotland, how he met Fiona and why he wasn't in Ireland with her. I wanted to know if he saw her at St. Thomas when he woke up or if he remembered when she was there and if she came across an entire goddamn ocean to be with him again; if she brought their daughter along with her. Maybe she wanted to get back together and they could be as happy as they were in the picture.
My questions would have to wait though. I couldn't get answers from him if I didn't give him what he deserved to know.
I quietly sighed and started picking at my fingernails. I wasn't nervous, but there was a bubble of anxiety frothing inside of me. I didn't think that Dad would be mad at me or anything like that, but the mere thought of talking about Rosemary for more than a second was exhausting.
"Da...can we talk?" I quietly asked, though the question was hiding what I really wanted to stay.
"Of course, dovey." Dad instantly responded, acceptance and warmth coating his tone. I didn't think he heard me from how muted my voice was, but he did and I looked up at him. He looked prepared to start talking about whatever, but the realization in his eyes set in. "Oh. Are you- if you're comfortable, we can."
At this point, it didn't matter if I was comfortable or not. This talk should've happened a long time ago, the day I popped up in the clubhouse.
I came clean that night.
I told Dad every single thing that happened when he left and I didn't leave out a solitary detail. It's not like I could. I'd remember what Rosemary did to me for the rest of my life. Surprisingly, I wasn't crying or as hysterical as I thought I'd be when this talk happened. I was pretty calm overall, but Dad was having a hard time sitting through it. He had to ask me to stop so he could leave the room and get himself together a few times. I understood that and I knew that it hurt him to hear what happened in his absence, that Rosemary lied to him, but I kept telling him it wasn't his fault. If he believed me or not was a question I couldn't answer.
Dad and I stayed up until the early hours of the morning when the sun started inching into the sky. Everything was out and he finally knew it all. I did feel a weight I didn't know I was holding on my shoulders be lifted, so that was a good sign.
We ended up going to sleep on the couch and when I woke up to Diesel licking my nose, Dad was in the kitchen. He had a breakfast of pancakes and bacon made and was at the table having a cup of coffee. From how red his eyes were, I don't think he got enough sleep last night.
I sat across from him and started eating breakfast, almost choking to death on a pancake with uncooked batter in the middle. "Sorry, dovey. I'm used to Gem makin' breakfast or eatin' out." Dad smiled at me, his tired eyes glimmering with the morning sun.
"It's the thought that counts, right?" I smiled at him, but set the fork down and went for the bacon instead. Dad chuckled at me.
"Fiona was…is the only woman I've ever been in love with." Out of nowhere, Dad just puts that out there and I almost choked to death on the sip of orange juice I was drinking.
"Da, you don't have to. It's okay."
Dad stared at me for a moment, nowhere near upset or anything negative being held in his dark eyes. Then, he smiled at me. I got the message he sent. I told him something important last night, something that needed to be said, and he felt like he had to return the favor by telling me about Fiona. Honestly, I would've been fine with just moving on and not saying a word about her because I really had no place snooping into his past like I did, but if he wanted to tell me, I was going to listen.
"When I came home from bein' a Field Medic, started runnin' with a group in Ireland and I met Fiona." Dad continued, his thumbs rubbing along his mug. "Next thing I knew, we had an apartment together, she was comin' to visit when I was in lockup, we'd gotten married and then, she tells me she's pregnant. She says, 'Filip, there's a wee bairn on the way.' And our little girl came not too long after."
"Kerrianne." I commented and Dad stared at me for a moment, still not upset. He was probably wondering who told me about his girls. He nodded and took a sip of his coffee.
"She hardly remembers me, but I love her and Fi all the same." I watched Dad's brows twitch together to signal he was about to frown, but he eased his features until they were stony again. I knew Dad wasn't a deadbeat and he didn't just go around having babies and not taking care of them. He's probably been separated from Kerrianne longer than he has me and that thought just made me feel terrible for the things I've said, all the angry or spiteful outbursts. Dad's been through being separated from his child once and he had to go through it again. "I got kicked outta that group and the man that did it took Fi and Kerri from me, banished me from ever steppin' foot back in Ireland…scarred me."
Dad looked so calm right now and it was terrifying. That calmness was like the everlasting patience of a lion stalking its prey until it found the perfect moment to pounce and I'll be damned if Dad didn't look like he could wait a thousand years for that chance.
Not only did he tell me about Fiona and Kerrianne, but he went and spilled the beans on the Monster Man that permanently disfigured him too. I really wished I wouldn't have been so nosy now. There was a reason why Dad never told me about Fiona and I should've left it at that, but I just got so excited after seeing them together in that picture.
Silence sunk in, but I didn't want to beat around the bush anymore. After what we talked about and all the secrets we were revealing, I didn't want any more stalling between us.
"…you okay? I know last night must've been hard to hear."
Dad took another sip from his mug of coffee, then set it on the table. His hands clasped around the steaming mug and he stared into the cream-less liquid; his eyebrows slowly pulling together until they were set in a furrowed line. This time, he didn't ease his features and he was openly frowning.
"I'm just…so sorry, Marceline." Dad's voice was soft and just…broken. I could feel his regret, but he didn't look at me. He lightly shook his head and sighed. "I look back and feel like I brought that sufferin' on ya' 'cause I knew Rose didn't have all the bolts screwed in her head and I saw how distant she was with ya', but I still left ya' with her."
Dad stopped and one hand went to his forehead while the other one pushed his coffee to the side. Dad rubbed his hands over his face and kept them there, probably hiding his tears from me. I could hear him muttering something to himself. I slid my plate to the side and reached over the table. My hands hesitated an inch before his, but I sucked it up and wrapped them around his wrists, gently tugging them away from his face. I felt the hot tears fill my eyes when I watched a pair glide down his cheeks.
"Da, it's okay." I tried, wiping the new batch of tears from his scarred skin.
"It's my fault ya' had to go through all that." He sniffled as his voice cracked. "It's my fault you've got Anxiety and it's my fault you got involved with that madman. Had I been there or came back for ya'…Jesus. I'm your father, Marceline. I'm supposed to protect ya'."
"…if you wanna get technical, it's your fault I'm here in Charming." I told him even as tears escaped my eyes. Dad finally met my eyes and I smiled at him. I took a second to take a breath and steady myself before I spoke again. "It's your fault that I was reunited with my best friend and it's your fault that I met Kip and it's all your fault that I've got a bunch of weird bikers as my family. Shame on you, Da. You've brought your child happiness."
Dad let out a short laugh and my smile grew. I was hoping I could ease the situation and I was glad that Dad eased up a bit. I stood up and quickly rounded the table to wrap my arms around his shoulders. I gave him the warmest, most loving hug I could and told him that he was the best Dad a daughter could ask for.
We untangled ourselves and simultaneously asked if the other was okay. We laughed it off and I gave Dad another hug before we started washing the dishes. After that, I took a shower, got dressed for the day and saw I had a text from Jasmine. It was half-past 10 AM and she said they just evacuated her school because there was a major stink bomb problem. She said it smelled like a skunk orgy throughout the entire building. I asked if she wanted to hang out around the clubhouse while the Sons worked and she said she'd meet me there.
I caught a ride on Dad's bike to the garage and a few of the Son's bikes were parked on the lot already. I went inside with him and found Kozik, Quinn, and Phil with Jasmine at the bar. They all seemed to be having some kind of group discussion and I slid into the stool next to Jaz. She squealed, gave me a hug, then her expression was serious as she rejoined the discussion. Her eyes were pinned on Quinn.
"There is no way in hell you can get me to believe that you've watched Martin and The Jeffersons, but you've never seen a single episode of Sanford & Son. You grew up around that time, didn't you?"
"Kinda, but-"
"But not a damn thing!" She cut him off, making the men laugh. "Everyone and their great-grandma's watched at least one episode of Sanford & Son. I know you've got cable, so you'd better tune into TV One or Aspire or B.E.T. or Antenna TV and watch it!"
"I watched Harlem Nights with you, Quinn. At some point, you had to have watched Sanford & Son." Kozik commented to the taller man, but Quinn just shook his head.
After a few more minutes of trying to prove that Quinn's seen the show at least once in his life, Jasmine pulled her phone out and found the very first episode for Quinn to watch. Once that was finished, the tall man said that was the first time he's watched the show and Jasmine almost screamed. It was hilarious.
The Sons began changing into their working uniforms and Phil asked me if I could manage the office because Gemma was going to be babysitting Abel for Tara and would probably be in late. I told him I would and Jaz accompanied me to the office. I told her how everything functioned in the workplace, what to say when the phone rang, how to fill out forms and the easiest way to remember which customer's keys belonged to whom. We worked together perfectly.
When lunchtime rolled around, Dad asked Jasmine and I if we'd like to go on a date with him. Someone had gone to go get my car and he drove us to a diner the Sons usually inhabited. We got a booth next to the window and the California sun was partially shaded, but still shining down on us.
"Girls, be honest," Dad said after our food had been delivered. Jasmine and I looked up from our plates and to him. He was stroking his chin as he looked at his reflection in the window. "Do I still look sexy with the cap?"
"You're too old to be sexy." I carped, scrunching my face.
"I disagree. You're a dime, Mr. Telford. Would definitely bang." Jaz complimented and Dad winked at her.
"Both of you, just ew." I groused. Jasmine stole one of the cucumbers out of the remainder of my chicken Caesar salad and popped it in her mouth. "What is it with you and older men?"
"Experience." She purred and Dad choked on his drink, laughing. "He knows what I'm talkin' about."
"Excuse me, ladies." Dad was still chuckling as he got up from the table and headed towards the bathroom.
"Marci, bet me something." Jaz proposed after nibbling on the last of her onion rings. I was taking a sip from my strawberry milkshake and hummed at her. "I bet that you and Dreamboat can't go the next three days without banging."
"And judging by those fingerprint marks I saw on your hips when we were in the bathroom, neither can you and Juice." I told her, sending a smirking side glance her way when she tugged at the hem of her shirt.
Kip and I weren't having sex around the clock like we needed it to survive each day. It usually wasn't planned, so our intimate days were always spontaneous and I think that just added some flair to our relationship. Jasmine and Juice, on the other hand, seemed to be knocking boots every other goddamn hour. It's like they were addicted to each other. Whenever she tells me about them hooking up, she doesn't go into explicit detail about what they did, but she'd always have this dreamy look in her eyes that said more than enough.
Sometimes, I couldn't help but worry about Jaz. I knew she liked Juice and there was an obvious attraction on his end, but as cool and nice as he was, my pessimistic mind always seemed to remind me that he was a Son who had an entire clubhouse of whores to choose from. I didn't think he was the type, but Juice could simply tell her that she was nothing more than a good lay to him. He had a habit of blurting out the wrong things. I didn't want Jasmine to develop feelings for Juice just for him to call things off because he wasn't looking for anything serious. I'd break his neck if he broke my best friend's heart.
Jasmine waved my comment off and scoffed. "Three days? No problem. Easy peasy, spray the Febreze-y."
"It's 'easy peasy, pumpkin pie', you alien." I giggled at her.
"Whoever told you that is a lair. In what world does 'peasy' rhyme with 'pie'? And how could a pie be peasy in the first place?" She questioned and I actually took a moment to think about the common verse. Jasmine and I discussed the meaning of the phrase for a moment and she yelled 'conspiracy theory', which earned some questioning looks from the other patrons in the diner, when Google couldn't come up with an answer to our questions.
"You realize that the terms of this bet include oral sex, right?" I asked, bringing her attention back to this bet she cooked up.
"That's fine." She shrugged.
"Receiving or giving." I added and her cool expression promptly dropped to incredulity.
"Oh, you bitch." She whined, pouting, but she shook her head and took a deep breath. "Nope, no. This is fine. It's okay. She who gives in to lust first hosts a pizza party sleepover."
"Deal. Should we kiss on it?" I suggested, suggestively wiggling my eyebrows at her.
Jaz giggled and she was leaning in, probably about to give me a peck on the cheek, but someone cleared their throat from behind me. I turned and saw Dad smirking down at us with one eyebrow raised. He asked me if I had something to tell him about my sexuality which made Jasmine go into explicit detail about how we've been dating since the day we met, but she was allowing me to see Kip as I was allowing her to see Juice.
Dad paid for our lunch and Jaz and I took out milkshakes to go. When we got back to the garage, most of the workers were getting back to their stations too. Dad said he had to go meet Opie and Kozik somewhere and he dropped a kiss on mine and Jasmine's heads before he was mounting his bike to ride off.
The next few hours breezed by and Piney came into the office. He and Jasmine seemed to have already been acquainted because Piney was asking her how T.O. was doing and they talked about that for a minute. The older Son seemed to be lingering for some reason, but I didn't really mind or bother to ask why. The Sons were always doing weird things and it was becoming normal to me.
Before Piney left, he asked if Clay's been around and I told him that I haven't seen him. He didn't say anything else, just nodded and stepped out of the office. After that, Gem called and asked how things were going, if we were swamped with work. I told her that Jaz and I were managing just fine and she said we ought to take her job so she could babysit Abel all the time.
Gem told me she'd swing around soon to relieve us, then hung up. As soon as I put the phone down, someone was knocking on the opened door and I turned around to see who it was. The woman wasn't any of the customers we've serviced today. Her honey-blonde hair was behind her shoulders, but most of it was layered over her right one. She was attractively skinny and her makeup looked like it was done by experts. Her clothes weren't my style though. She was wearing a crop top with strings that crisscrossed down her stomach, high-waist denim shorts and black heeled sandals.
"Hi, I'm Danica Daniels." She smiled and held her hand out. I took it and she quaked me a bit from her bouncing when she shook my hand. Someone was a bit bubbly.
"Hi, Danica. Are you here for a pick-up?"
"Pick-up what?" She asked, looking like a very lost puppy.
"Your car?" I offered, thinking that maybe she was one of the customers whose car was dropped off yesterday.
"But I don't have a car." She told me, her head tilting to the side as a puzzled expression dominated her features.
"Why're you here then?" Jaz asked from the desk, not in the politest of ways, and I gave her a scolding glare. She shrugged at me as if she did nothing wrong.
"Oh, I'm looking for Jax and the other girls told me he'd be here, but I haven't seen him." Danica answered and she didn't seem offended by Jasmine's rude approach because she was smiling again. "He's got blue eyes and blond hair and he's a Son. He's really cute."
"Maybe you should try looking in the clubhouse." Jaz slowly suggested and Danica blinked a few times, then smiled.
"Hey, that's a good idea. Thanks!" She chirped, then turned to practically skip out of the office.
"That lady's dumber than a bag of rocks in the dark." Jaz commented before she continued filling out the form she was working on.
About 15 minutes passed before I heard someone honking out in the lot. I poked my head out of the door and Gemma waved to me as she parked her car. She unloaded Abel, let Jaz and I gush over him for a minute, then said she'd be in the clubhouse for a second before she came to get to work. It was only a few moments later when Danica was tapping on the door again. She looked like she lost her pep from the way she was looking down at her twiddling fingers.
"Did you find Jax?" I asked and she shook her head.
"There's a lady in there and she's got really scary eyes…I got nervous."
Jazmine and I looked at one another, the same thought in mind: Gemma. I picked up the phone and called the clubhouse. Phil answered and I asked him where Jax was. He told me the Vice President was out with Bobby or Juice and that he was just entertaining a sexy blonde who came asking for him just a minute ago. I asked him if he knew when Jax would be back and he guessed within an hour or so.
"Jax won't be in for a while, but you can wait in here 'till he gets back." I offered and Danica beamed at me again before taking a seat on the sofa.
Getting back to work, Jasmine and I returned the keys to two customers before someone else was knocking on the door. Another pair of blondes, these ones having sandy-blonde hair, both as attractive as Danica, but curvier, were waiting. The girls must not have gotten the memo that Halloween wasn't for another few months because they were dressed in red micro-mini plaid skirts, white tie-front tops that left their stomachs exposed, white knee-high socks and heeled Mary-Janes. They must've been twins because everything about them was perfectly identical. The only way I could tell them apart from the other was from their navels. One blonde had hers pierced, the other didn't.
Danica bounced up from the sofa and held her arms out for hugs from the blondes. "Kristie and Khloé!"
"Danica!" They both squealed, then the three of them were hugging and giggling and chattering like schoolgirls. I still didn't know which one was Kristie and which was Khloé.
"There must be a slut convention passing through town." Jaz muttered in my ear and I playfully jabbed her in the side.
"Has Luanne showed up?" Danica asked and the twins shrugged.
"Dunno. We just got finished with a photo shoot." The pierced one spoke. "Nobody answered the phone and the studio was closed when we went there. This is really weird."
"Have you seen Jax?" The other blonde asked and Danica shook her head.
"He's not here yet, but the girls said we could wait for him." Turning around, a smiling Danica came to Jaz and I and presented us to the blonde women. "This is Marceline and Jasmine."
"Oh my God, you two are so cute!" The piercing-less blonde squealed and they both swarmed over Jaz and I. They told us their names and the pierced blonde was Khloé, the other Kristie Kross. They were sisters and Khloé was focused on me while Kristie on Jasmine.
"Are those natural? They're so perky!" Kristie squealed as she practically fondled Jasmine's chest through her t-shirt. My friend didn't seem to mind.
"Hells yeah, they're natural!" Jaz boasted, smiling. "These babies are a product of hard work and a two cups of milk every day."
"I love your hair!" Khloé chirped, running her fingers through my hair as if they were strands of gold. She pouted for a moment, but it turned into one of those sunshiny smiles. "I wish I was a natural ginger. You're so lucky."
"Trust me, it's more trouble than it's worth." I told her, feeling my cheeks heating with redness.
"You guys should totally come work with us!" Danica proposed, clapping as she bounced in place, and the twins nodded in approval. "It'd be so much fun to have teenagers on the set."
"You guys make movies?" Jaz asked with interest and the women nodded, smiles still plastered on their faces.
"Ima and Lyla would be in trouble too." Kristie chimed in. "The Saffron Sisters would have to protect their title of sexiest twosome if these girls got signed."
"Wait, wait. The Saffron Sisters?" I asked, hearing that iconic record scratch sound in my head. "You're all porn-stars?"
When they nodded again, I felt the vomit burning in my throat and all the color drain from my skin. Kristie and Khloé were touching my face with the same hands they worked with. I didn't even register Jasmine pulling me out of the office and into the clubhouse until I heard the clattering of pots and pans. We were in the kitchen now and she was on her knees, frantically digging through the cabinets.
"What are you doing?" A male's voice asked from behind me and I turned around. Phil and Rat Boy were skeptically watching Jasmine have a meltdown with smirks on their faces.
"I need bleach, flaming bleach, and ammonia!" She shrieked at them.
"For what?" Phil asked with a smile.
"They touched my face! I'm gonna break out with Syphilis!"
Jasmine let out a little cry, scrubbed her face with her hands, then almost dived into one of the cabinets in search of cleaning supplies. I wasn't thrilled at the idea of being touched by a porn star either, but some soap and water would suffice…and maybe a little splash of bleach.
"I think they got acquainted with some of the Cara Cara girls." Rat suggested to his friend.
"They're coming here looking for Jax, said the studio was closed." I told him and Phil's eyebrows furrowed. That couldn't be a good sign.
"Rat, call Bobby and ask him where Luanne is." He ordered and the shorter man nodded before he was off. Phil took his Burner out of his kutte and quickly dialed a number. "Girls, stay inside."
After I stopped Jasmine from trying to drown herself in a bucket of Pine Sol and Ajax, I took her into Kip's dorm. Thankfully, his door was unlocked and he must've kept some of my things in here from when I had those casts on because I spotted some familiar toiletries littering the top of his dresser. Jaz and I scrubbed our faces a few times, then we went to see where Gemma had Abel hidden.
We didn't find the youngest Teller in any of the unlocked rooms, so we ventured out into the bar and it was half-filled with more women. At first glance, I thought they were sweetbutts, but they were too pretty and I spotted Danica with the twins. They were more Cara Cara girls. Gemma stood out from the crowd of scantily dressed women. She was sitting at the bar with Abel clutched tightly to her chest. Whenever a woman would pass them, she'd cover the boy's eyes with her hand.
"Gem, what's going on?" I asked when we crossed the room to meet her. Abel babbled at me for a minute, then he went reaching for Jasmine. Gemma passed her grandson off to her and Jaz cooed at the boy.
"Luanne's missing and her jizz factory's closed." She informed me. Her expression was one that was far from pleased and I suddenly remembered Cherry. All these porn stars swarming the clubhouse must be making her think about that skateboarding incident all over again because I was. "Some of the girls were talking about an ATF raid that happened not too long ago. I knew that badge was gonna be trouble."
While Gemma shook her head and scowled at one of the passing women, this one a brunette wearing an impossibly short and tight metallic dress, I took a look around the bar. In an act of insecurity backed by jealousy, I wanted to know if Cherry was around. I haven't seen or heard from Kip today, but if he was away from the clubhouse, he was away from that whore.
Thankfully, I didn't spot Cherry anywhere. Actually, it didn't look like any of the Crow Eaters were hanging around the bar and that was strange considering this was their prowling ground. Maybe they were intimidated by the porn stars or one of the Sons could've made a PSA and told them not to come to the clubhouse because it was going to be packed. I could already imagine multiple fights breaking out between the women over a Son.
"Are we going on lockdown?" I asked Gem and she nodded.
"The girls are shaken up, so they're gonna be here until Luanne turns up. The boys should be on their way here with some more of them. Speaking of, how's your Dad?"
"He's better than he was before. We talked last night, cleared the air." When I said that, Gemma looked at me and I smiled at her. She gave me one back.
"I'm gonna swing by Jax and Tara's place to pack a bag for Abel. Yours too." She told me as she slid off the stool. "Gonna call Luanne too, look in some of her hiding spots. Stay here, okay?"
I nodded and Gem tenderly squeezed my shoulder before she grabbed her purse and started heading out of the clubhouse.
Jasmine and I were preoccupied with Abel and his attempts at talking. I wanted to see how clumsily cute it would be to watch him try to walk on his chubby legs, but with all the porn stars occupying the space and the thought of all the things that've happened on or stuck to the bar's floor, I didn't want to test it out here.
We traveled back to the dorms and to Kip's to see Abel's basic motor skills. I was holding his hands as Jaz animatedly beckoned him to her and his little laughter had me giggling. Abel was pretty good with his walking, but he still had to work on balancing himself. He decided to spark up a conversation with us though and his speech was getting better. I could clearly understand him saying 'Ma-Ma' and 'Da-Da' and I could only wonder how happy Jax and Tara looked when they heard those words.
After another hour of being entertained by Abel's cuteness, Jasmine laid on the bed with Abel using her chest as a pillow while she soothingly pat his back to get him to take a nap. They both ended up drifting off and I just had to take a picture.
Quietly, I ventured out into the bar and it looked like the number of porn-stars tripled. They were all lounging around, some playing pool or throwing darts while others chattered amongst each other in their little groups. I spotted Ima sitting at a table with cream-blonde, but her back was to me, so I couldn't see her face. Ratboy was behind the bar and he was chatting up a foursome of women. Piney was there too, occupying a stool. He looked like he was just having a drink and keeping an eye on things, but when he spoke, all the women's attention snapped to him. I shook my head. It was like they'd settle for the attention of a Prospect, but they wanted a Son. Apparently, age didn't matter either.
I was about to head to the kitchen to grab a soda when the clubhouse door opened. There was a round of flirty, feminine greetings as Jax stepped in and held the door open for another group of porn-stars. He went to the bar to talk with Piney and Kip came in next with Juice and Phil behind him. He scanned the room for a moment until he found me, then he smiled. He pat Juice on the shoulder before he came over and I giggled into his chest as he gave me an affectionate bear hug.
"Chibs said he took you and Jasmine to lunch." Juice butted-in before either of us could greet each other and I cocked an eyebrow, turning to him. "She here?"
"She's in Kip's room with Abel." I told him and grabbed his arm before he sprinted down the hall. "Wake up that baby and I'll strangle you with your balls."
"You've gotta stop hanging around Gemma. You're starting to talk like her." Juice shook his head, warily eyeing me as he walked down the hall to Kip's dorm.
"Things been okay?" Kip asked and I turned back to him. His blue eyes were soft as he gazed down at me and I nodded, smiling as I nuzzled into his chest to hide my reddening cheeks.
With his arm around my shoulders, we walked to his dorm and found Juice sitting in the armchair. He was dreamily staring at Jasmine as she slept and when I cleared my throat, he was up on his feet.
After gently waking Jasmine up and managing to detach Abel from her to give him to Jax, who was elated to see his son, we hung out in Kip's dorm. We played Would You Rather and Truth or Dare like a bunch of teenagers, but it was all laughs and flirts. Juice offered to share his pot with everyone and took Jaz with him to retrieve his stash.
With a moment alone, Kip said he wanted to talk to me and he closed the door. Judging by the serious tone his voice held, I knew he was about to tell me something important and I sat on the edge of the bed to give him my full attention. At first, he just leaned on the door and stared at me. Then, he sighed and trudged over until he was before me and dropped to his knees, taking my hands in his. He didn't look at me yet and worry bubbled inside of me.
My first thought was that Kip was about to break-up with me and I tried to convince myself that there was no reason for him to, but the possibility lingered in my mind. Then, I thought something else horrible happened to Dad. God forbid, he was caught in another car bombing. I managed to hear the reasonable side of me whispering that he probably knew something about why all the Cara Cara girls were stuffed in the clubhouse and about the lockdown.
"Things are gonna get bloody, baby." Kip staidly spoke and my mind immediately drew a blank at the sound of his voice. All I could focus on was how his thumbs were gently stroking over the backs of my palms in the most soothing way. "We've been planning an attack on LOAN, those guys we showed you pictures of, and things are setting into motion. The clubhouse is gonna be on lockdown for a few days, some Nomads and Sons from other charters are coming over for protection. You're gonna be fine here, safe."
Kip finally looked up at me and one of his hands lifted to cup my cheek. He didn't exactly look worried, but he was far from calm too. As bad as it was, I was actually a little happy to hear that there was going to be retaliation on those LOAN guys. They almost killed Dad and who knows how far they would've gone if that plan didn't work. The Sons had families and kids, but LOAN probably saw them as ways to hurt the club. That guy in the grocery store's parking lot, AJ Weston, could've been targeting me next.
Whatever the Sons have been doing since that car-bombing must've been enough to strike the fear of SAMCO into those LOAN men. It seemed like a back and forth thing was going on between the two organizations. First, it was that brawl, then the car-bombing and now, whatever plans the Sons had to end this feud. I was just grateful to hear that a coda was nearing because that meant safety was dawning too.
"I want you back here in one piece." I sternly told Kip and he smirked at me, just a little bit of cockiness in the gesture. He was turning into more of a Son by the day. "I'm not kidding, Edward."
That was the second time I've ever called Kip by his first name and I don't think he really noticed the first time, but clearly, I caught his attention. Kip's smile vanished for a second, but it was replaced with a flirty grin that promised concupiscent things to come.
"Yes, ma'am." He replied in a slightly husked voice.
Just by the look on his face, I knew what Kip's intentions were and when he leaned up to kiss me, nudging me back on his bed, my theory was confirmed. I smiled into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, feeling every inch of my skin heating up by the second. Kip's hands were lazily making their way under my shirt, his warm palms gliding up my sides, and I pulled him tighter against me, keeping our chests pressed together. He was half-leaning on the bed and his knees were still on the floor, so when I felt him let a little of his weight press down on me, I knew he wanted to get into a more comfortable position.
I scooted back on the bed a little more, allowing Kip to fully climb on the bed without breaking our kiss, and I felt his knees settle on either side of my legs. I felt that pressure again and went to lay on back, but stopped myself. Through the lusty haze clouding my mind, something managed to remind me about the bet I made with Jasmine earlier and I didn't want to lose because I knew she was going to give in before I did.
Reluctantly, I tried pulling away from Kip, planting my elbows on the mattress to keep myself upright, but he just pursued my lips and stole a few kisses before allowing the separation.
"I talked to my Dad last night...well, t-this morning." I managed to slightly whisper the words, too distracted by Kip's lips. He kissed a trail across my jawline, then my cheek and was currently lavishing my neck with nibbles. He hummed to let me know he was listening. "A-About Rosemary and everything."
"How'd he take it?" He mumbled the question against my skin.
Before I could attempt to answer him, I felt his hand slip underneath my bra and warmly palm my breast, making me gasp. I arched into his touch as my nipple puckered into a hardened bud, squeezing my legs shut and biting my lip in trivial efforts to stop the temptation suffocating me. With my lip between my teeth, I couldn't kiss him and my closed legs would prevent me from grinding against him like a horny cat, but everything else Kip was doing made it harder to resist him.
"Kip…you're gonna make me lose the bet." I whined in his ear as I squirmed on the bed, desperately and futilely trying to get a grip on myself.
By some miracle, that made Kip stop everything he was doing. His mouth detached from my neck and his hand slid down from my breast to rest lower on my ribcage. He leaned back to look down at me and I don't know if he started smiling because of the way I probably looked, flushed and concupiscent, or due to whatever thoughts were running through his mind.
"What bet?"
"Jasmine bet that we couldn't go the next three days without having sex and I bet she couldn't with Juice." I explained and Kip laughed that boyish laugh of his that served as a constant reminder of how young he was compared to the patched Sons of the club.
Kip looked over his shoulder at the door, then to the clock on the left nightstand. "I've watched Juice roll a joint in twenty seconds. He and Jasmine have been gone almost five minutes now."
My eyebrows lifted at what Kip was suggesting and he plopped down on the bed next to me to let me sit up. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and considered sending Jasmine a text, but decided it'd be best to call. The line was steadily ringing and she didn't pick up after the third one like she usually did. Kip wrapped his arms around my legs and put his head in my lap, provoking me to put my hand in his hair.
"Get those pants of right now, mister!" My best friend's voice finally came through the phone. I could hear some shuffling going on and Jasmine struggling with something, then Juice's voice in the background, but I couldn't understand what he said. "Forget a bed! There's a sturdy bench right here! Let's go!"
"Jaz?"
"Marci, bet's off. You win." She hurriedly forfeited, making me smile. She told Juice to 'Pull the shade down' and I heard the metal clanking of the grate seconds after.
"Are you about to bang in the garage?" I questioned and that made Kip raise his head to look at me, smiling like a goof.
"If Juice would get his goddamn jeans off, maybe we could get to the good stuff!"
Having had enough of the conversation, I double-checked to make sure that Jaz was throwing in the towel and she hastily confirmed, but it sounded like she was literally tearing Juice's jeans off. I told Jaz to make a safeword for the poor guy, then hung up to let them carry on, shaking my head at how sex-driven my friend seemed to be.
"I don't know if Jasmine is a nympho or if Juice is just that good, but I'd like to have an intervention because she's clearly an addict." I giggled at Kip and he smiled back at me. He must've decided that he was very comfortable in my lap because he set his head down and I felt him nuzzle into my thighs. It wasn't a provocative motion like his wandering hands were just moments ago. He looked up at me again and I titled my head to the side a little to better see his face. His expression had subtly changed, but I noticed it. He seemed to have lost his previously playful and flirty mood, sobering to seriousness with each passing second. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know if I should ask about it, not really my business." Kip shrugged and I felt his finger began to circle my knee, his eyes downcast.
I put my hand on his cheek to get him to look at me again and held his eyes as I spoke to him. "You can ask me anything."
We stared at each other after that, both of us searching for something in the other's eyes. I was trying to come up with an explanation for his mood change, but no solid reasons were coming to me. I'm not sure what Kip was looking for in my eyes, but he may have found it because he sat up and took my hands in his, staring down at our palms in his lap.
"Would you tell me about it, about Rosemary and Asher?" He quietly inquired, surprising me.
Since the day Zane brought me to the clubhouse after that Drifter kidnapped me, Kip hasn't said anything about my past. Before then, the only time we talked about my life before I came to Charming was the day I was reunited with Jasmine and we went to Fun Town. When I stayed at his house for those few days, he did ask some questions about Zane, mainly if I knew what he was doing in San Fransico and if the name Henry Lin rang a bell. The way he tried so hard to make it seem like casual chat was what tipped me off that he might be probing me for info to relay to the club. I didn't want to keep secrets from Kip, but Zane's life wasn't anything of mine to talk about, so I told him that I didn't know what Zane was up to now. It was only a white lie and it was to protect Zane.
I had to wonder how long Kip's wanted to ask that question, if he's been trying to find a way to bring it up without upsetting me. I wouldn't have been upset if he asked about it and I could understand why he'd think I would be. Rosemary and Asher were the adversaries of the story that was my life; those two were the primary sources of my pain and fear.
Kip never looked at me and I frowned at it because that told me that this must be just of a tender subject to him as it is to me. I squeezed his hand, but his eyes still didn't rise to mine. "Do you want to know?"
"No." He immediately answered with a slight shake of his head, his tone as solid and firm as a boulder. "I don't wanna think about you being hurt and nobody there to help you. And the things I have thought of just make me angrier. But, I feel like maybe I should hear it...if you want me to."
"I didn't even want Dad to know. I watched his heart break when I told him." I gravely confessed and that made Kip peek at me, but it was my turn to avoid his eyes to focus on our hands. I didn't realize how triggering this conversation could be, but there was an unwanted fluttering in my heart that was posing as a reminder to my Anxiety and it was just my luck that I skipped my Librium this morning. I was trying my hardest to keep acting normal and not let the symptoms gain more control because I didn't want Kip seeing me like that again, hysterical and shaking and crying. It was embarrassing and I felt like it'd remind him of how much baggage I had...that I could be a such a burden at times. "He had to hear it, but with you, it's a choice. If you want to, I'll tell you everything. It might not be as easy as when I told my Dad, but I'm still willing to tell you. If you don't wanna hear it, then I won't say anything about it."
I let out a slightly shaky sigh after that, shutting my eyes tight when I felt the tears filling them. I don't know what provoked the tears- the memories starting to play in my mind or simply my Anxiety gaining momentum- but I refused to cry in front of Kip again because I was not a crybaby.
When I felt Kip's hand detach from mine, a bolt of fear struck me and the defeatist side of me crept out of the shadows of my mind. My head was being filled with thoughts of today being the day that Kip decided to cut me loose and I'd have to accept it because there was nothing else I could do. He was going to tell me that I was too much weight in his life, that I was too emotional and that I had way too many problems for one person to deal with, that he was exhausted from being in a relationship with me.
Something touched my forehead and if I weren't trying so hard to keep the tears in check, I'd have opened my eyes to see what it was. Logic suggested that it was Kip, either his head or his lips. When I felt his nose brush against mine, I figured that our foreheads were indeed touching and then, I felt his hands on my hips. When Kip moved me, I tried to steal a peek at what he was doing, but a fugitive tear slid down my cheek before I realized he was sitting me on his lap. His hand came up to wipe the tear away with his knuckles and his thumb was lovingly stroking my cheek. He intentionally nudged his nose against mine, silently asking me to look at him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because I knew there was going to be a spate of tears waiting to greet him.
"You're safe now. That's all I want." Kip told me with such tenderness in his voice. There wasn't pity towards my past or an overly-cautious tone due to fear of setting off an Anxiety Attack. It was that sweet, gentle voice he always used when we were alone, the one that made me feel unbelievably protected with him, and hearing it made me start to simmer down. Carefully, I opened my eyes and blinked away the tears on my eyelashes until I saw Kip's ocean-blue orbs and the acceptance in them. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and hugged him, burying my face into his neck. Kip squeezed me back and I felt him start to stroke my hair. "Maybe one day, when I think I'll be able to handle it and you're okay with it, we could talk about it?"
I nodded and Kip gave me another hug, his hand lowering from my hair to rub my back. I felt him turn his head and he managed to plant a kiss on my neck. We stayed like that for a few, short minutes and I felt like I had a grip on myself. I leaned back to look at Kip and took his face in my hands, kissing him and trying my damndest to pour every ounce of love I had for him into the buss. I was thanking him for being one of the most understanding people I've ever had in my life and trying to make up for him having to put up with my emotions when they got chaotic.
A sudden pounding on the door made me flinch and we separated.
"Half-Sack, get out here! We're leaving in 5!" A muffled command was barked through the door and it was hard to tell if Tig or Kozik was on the other side. It could've been Happy.
I looked over my shoulder at the clock and noticed just how much time passed since I called Jasmine. I could only wonder what she and Juice managed to do in that time. I slid off Kip's lap and we straightened our clothes before leaving his doom. He locked the door behind him and gave me his key, telling me to keep it close. When we got to the bar, there was an entire sea of chattering people inhabiting the space now. I knew most of the women were Cara Cara girls, but there were men and a few kids in here too.
Kip had my hand locked in his grasp as he guided us through the mobs of people. When I heard someone call 'Hootie hoo', I stopped and looked around for a pair of waving arms, spotting Jasmine perched above everyone's head as she searched the crowd. One of her favorite artists was Outkast and the phrase was used in the hook of Slump, her favorite song by them. We used to use it back in Scotts Valley when we'd go to the mall and get lost or to quickly find each other in the crowded cafeteria.
I was tugging Kip behind me now and calling back to Jasmine, both of us sounding like a pair of confused birds, until I found her. She was sitting on Juice's shoulders like a girl at a concert and when he set her down, she presented me with a dime-bag and rolling paper. I could see little red hairs on the weed and she happily confirmed that Juice was loaded with chronic. I think she was a little buzzed herself, but I was excited to have such high-quality pot in my hand.
Someone whistled, silencing the entire bar, and that stopped me from digging into Kip's jeans for a lighter. "Everybody, listen up! Eyes on Prez!" I heard someone announce, still unsure if it was Tig or Kozik. Clay's fading hair-color caught my eye and I watched him climb on a table so that everyone would be able to see and hear him.
"I wanna welcome you all to Club Reaper. I'm glad you made your reservations early because, as you can see, we're booked to capacity." He joked with a wave of his arms to how packed the clubhouse was and there were a few scattered laughs in response. "You're here because SAMCRO takes care of its own. Next couple of days, this club's got some business to handle that could put our members and the people connected to us in unfriendly situations. Chances are, nothing's gonna happen, but people have already been hurt on my watch and I'm not gonna let it happen again."
Kip's hand squeezed mine when Clay said that and I looked around to see if I could spot Dad anywhere, but I wasn't the tallest person around and could barely see over anyone's shoulders.
"Nobody gets in, nobody leaves without an escort. You gotta safety concern, you talk to Piney." Clay pointed to where I suspected Piney was and while I didn't see him, I did see what looked like the barrel of an AK-47 be raised into the air. "You gotta comfort concern, you talk to my Queen." I saw Clay hold, what had to be, Gemma's hand up and it looked like she was posted on the floor next to the table he was using as a soapbox. "Under this roof, you'll all be safe and I want you to make yourselves at home."
With Clay's speech done, I heard some clapping and thank you's as everyone began shuffling around again. Kip said something to Juice and the tanned man pointed to the left side of the room. Kip led me over there and I saw Dad with Piney. I jogged over to him and gave him a tight hug, feeling him return the embrace. I told him to be prudently careful and he chuckled in my ear, but assured me that he'd be coming back with the rest of the Sons.
One by one, I gave every Son a parting hug and told them the same thing I told Dad. Some jokes were made and some of them told me not to worry about them, Happy commented the didn't know how to be safe and he smiled when I called him a jerk. Jasmine had gone and preached to Quinn about how he'd better walk back into this clubhouse because he still had a few seasons of Sanford & Son to get through.
Now, I was hugging Kip and the other Sons with girlfriends or wives were doing the something of the same thing. Tara was holding Abel while Jax was quietly talking to her. She looked just as serious as the rest of the women did, but Jax managed to make her smile a few times. Opie had both his kids in his arms and Donna was smiling as she watched them, holding hands with her husband. Clay and Gemma have been sharing a long embrace since it was clear that the Sons were about to take off. Juice was sitting in a chair and he had Jas draped across his lap, periodically tipping her back just to make her squeal with laughter.
"It's just a few days." Kip reminded me, but that only made me squeeze him tighter. He chuckled in my ear and used his hands locked around my waist to lift me up so that we were face to face. "When I come back, I'm kidnapping you and I'm locking you in my house and I'm never letting you leave."
"Promise?" I giggled at him and he nodded with that boyish grin of his.
With one last kiss, Kip set me down and another Son whistled to inform everyone that he was time to go. Everyone in the bar watched the Sons walk out of the clubhouse and we all listened to their motorcycles rumble to life before they rode out of the lot. It was only after there was silence outside that Gemma began asking if anyone was hungry.
MarshWolffe's Review was the push that made me want to update this story. I hope you'll continue to enjoy it!
Feel free to check out my Tumblr page for story updates and chapter teasers. I'll also be posting one-shots there and would love to get some requests from my awesome readers!
Happy holidays!