"The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person."
―Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
(Chapter Song: Don't Fall Asleep at the Helm by Sleeping With Sirens)
Gage kept Marceline stationed at the Spartan's clubhouse. She never strayed from his dorm and he found that his door was always locked whenever he tried to visit her. For the most part, he left her alone.
Unlike before when he'd break the door down at her house, Gage didn't try to force his way into his room to be with Marci. When he'd go upstairs, he'd sit with his back to the door and talk to her through it. He'd tell her that he loved her more than anything, that she was the only woman in his life that ever truly loved him. He even confessed to her how his mother was nothing but a favorite doxy at his father's charter who got knocked up, but tried to kill her baby before it was born. His father, Jace Levy, had gone and murdered her mere hours after she birthed his second son and throughout Asher's childhood, his father would remind him that all women were the same: they were deceiving minxes that claimed to want love, but would reject it when they received it.
For a long time, Gage believed his father's words and after hearing how his older brother was conceived in something of the same way- with their father impregnating another club whore while visiting another charter- he had no other option but to believe it true. Jace had the decency to marry the woman who was carrying his first child, but she tried to run away from him after Axel was born and that resulted in her death.
But then, Marceline stumbled into Asher's life, bloody, bruised and scared. He saw her and everything changed. All of the things he grew up believing about women were wiped from his mind as he sat in a hospital room with Marceline Telford and learned everything there was no know about her. Those first few days they knew each other, he spilled his guts about everything. She easily lured his deepest, darkest secrets from the very core of his soul like it was nothing. He wanted to tell her everything, didn't want any secrets between them. She was his personal confidant to confide in and he clung to her so desperately, attached to the one female who didn't lie to him or simply want to use him. Marceline didn't care about his standing in the Spartans and she sure as shit didn't bat an eyelash towards the fact that he was one of two sons fathered by a founding father of his MC.
All those reasons were why he killed Rosemary.
When Asher asked Marceline to run away with him, to let him take her somewhere far away from pain where it'd only be the two of them, she accepted. To him, that was her saying that they would get married and she would be his forever. Asher wanted her to be happy and knew the one thing keeping her from happiness was her mother, so he got rid of her problem, permanently removed the source of her pain and sadness. His killing of Rosemary was proof that he would do absolutely anything for her.
As Asher would prattle on about memories, he'd never hear Marceline say a word from the other side of the door. She never told him to go away- which led him to believe that she didn't want him to leave her- and she didn't scream at him. In Gage's room, Marceline was tightly curled into a fetal position with her knees to her chest. She was on the floor under his hideaway bed, which had to be pulled out of what looked like a dresser for clothes. That's all she wanted to do, hide and never be seen again. She wanted the world to forget her, wanted to vanish into thin air and never have to worry about the living nightmare that was Asher Nathaniel Levy. In the days that passed since Grimm carried her up here, she's been stationed in that same spot, bawling her eyes out, sometimes violently shaking and struggling with her Anxiety.
All Marceline could think about was that Zane was dead. This wasn't a case of him losing contact with her for a day or two, then finding him sleeping right next to her when she woke up. He was really gone this time and he was never coming back. With that, she felt such a consuming loss inside her.
Zane was gone for good, her father and most of her Uncles were going to be locked in Stockton for fifteen years or longer and Phil thought she was somewhere in New Orleans.
Marceline officially had nobody to run to, not a soul to help her.
~.~.~.~.
Something changed within Marceline that morning. She was still crying her heart out, but there was also anger boiling in her veins. She was more pissed off than upset, but her cloud of depression was still darkly hovering over her head. She crawled from under the bed and went searching around Asher's room for a gun because she knew he had one stashed somewhere. She found a silver handgun strapped on the underside of his nightstand, a Smith & Wesson Performance Center 1911, and she remembered that this one was usually Asher's carry-on gun. He favored it because of its blue grip and because it was a parting gift from his brother when Asher decided to leave Colorado for the California charter.
Marci checked the magazine, found that it was loaded and racked the slide with minimum struggle. She pulled the hammer back and stomped over to the door, quickly unlocking, then flinging it open with so much force that the knob slammed against the wall. She descended the metal staircase to the lower level and found the bar wasn't filled to the brim with Randoms and Doxies for once. She saw Asher playing pool and the Toad was standing next to the table holding a cue. She heard, rather than saw, Lucky sweet-talking some Doxies and their giggles.
Dutchman was leaning on one of the metal support beams under the staircase and watched as Marceline came down. He was surprised to see her out of Gage's room, but she didn't exactly look like she was in the best of moods. In fact, Dutch thought she looked like something demonic settled inside her and was in control.
"Uh, Gage?" He called, still keeping his eyes on the ginger. Asher just gave his cue to the Toad and was coming over to her with a smile on his face. Dutchman brushed past him on his way to the Toad. "She's loaded." He warned.
When Dutch passed, Asher was met with Marceline pointing his gun at his face and his brows went up in delighted surprise. He's had a gun around Marci before, but he never taught her how to handle or use one. He was under the impression that she didn't like guns, but here she was standing a few inches away from him looking like the cutest little killer imaginable.
"You shouldn't play with guns, Marci, especially when you don't know how to use them." He tutted with a smile.
Marci never lost the downright demonic expression on her face as she moved her arm just an inch or so and had the gun aimed over Asher's shoulder, then pulled the trigger a second later. She knew she wasn't an expert marksman, but she wanted to shoot his ear off to get him to realize that she was far from fucking around at the moment.
The shot effectively silenced everyone in the bar and a few of the Doxies yelped in surprise as they hit the deck. Dutchman was watching the whole thing, hoping the girl wouldn't kill his President, but Lucky dashed out into the main area, holding his jeans up with one hand with his pistol in his other.
"Gage-"
"It's alright." Asher calmly told Lucky, not at all startled. His eyes were locked on Marceline and he was trying to figure out why she was making a scene when he thought things between them were fine. After all, she always listened to his stories when he came to visit her upstairs and she picked at the food he'd leave, but she was still eating it. He didn't know what put her in such a sour mood today, but he was going to find out. "Okay, point taken. You obviously want my attention."
Slowly and with his hands in her view, Asher cleared out the bar. He told Lucky and Dutch that everything was under control and they didn't have to worry about him, but that they had to leave until he gave them the green light to come back in the clubhouse; the same went for his other members. Dutch and Lucky shared a worried look, but had to obey the orders given to them by their President.
Once they had the clubhouse to themselves, Asher grabbed one of the leather armchairs scattered around the bar and easily slid it across the hardwood floor about a foot in front of Marci; she's been following his every move with her gun.
"Everybody's gone, no distractions, just me and you. My attention, as always, is yours." He told her in that sweet voice he knew she liked. "I'm gonna take my smokes outta my pocket and you can tell me whatever's on your mind, sweetheart." And he did just that, digging into the front pocket on his jeans for his pack of cigarettes to light one. He then motioned to an eerily silent Marceline to begin telling him what her dilemma was.
Marci remained silent, watching as Asher took a drag and leaned back into the armchair. He looked so calm and relaxed, like everything was just dandy. She just shot at him and he didn't even flinch. Something about that, about Asher being totally oblivious to the pain he's caused her and how he always seemed to think she was the happiest when she was with him, made the damn break. Hot tears began spilling from her eyes and that surprised her because she felt like her body couldn't possibly reproduce tears that quickly, not after all the crying she's done lately.
"...everything...you took everything away from me..." She cried. "You murdered Rose...you ran me out of my own goddamn house...you sent some deranged man to hunt and kidnap me!"
"Marceline-"
"No! Shut the fuck up and listen to me! You've been conducting my life since I was 15 and I'm sick of it!" She screamed at him as she tried to catch her breath. "I hate you! Everything I've ever had, you've ripped it away from me! You killed Zane!" She sobbed, the gun trembling in her grip. "He didn't deserve to die! He was protecting me, he was worried about me and you killed him just because you were jealous!"
"Why would I be jealous of that chink, Marci?"
"Because he was welcomed into my life, because he made me happy and I loved him, not you."
"Fine, you caught me." Asher admitted as he put his hands up. "I might've been a tiny bit jealous of your little boy-toy, but he's gone now and you're mine again, forever and always."
"I will never be yours."
"Babe-"
"Don't call me that!" She snapped at him. "I'll never love you, Asher. Try to understand that. You can keep me trapped here until my dying day, but I swear to the holy Father above, I will never love you. I'll put a bullet in my head or a knife in my gut before I do."
Marceline threw the gun at Asher's chest and that was the only thing that made him look concerned, but it didn't go off. She stomped back upstairs and he heard a door slam shut, so he went to the entrance of the clubhouse and opened the door. All of his members were waiting outside with the Doxies or Randoms and he let them know it was okay to come back inside, though everyone seemed timid to do so with a wild ginger running around shooting at people.
"She really loves me, huh?" Asher said to Scrap, making the other man look at him like he was crazy.
"She shot at you." He reminded his President.
"Yeah." Asher nodded with a dopey smile, further confusing Scrap. "Marci's low-key insane, so when she does crazy shit like that, I know it's her way of expressing her feelings towards me."
"What?" Scrap asked and that just made his friend smirk before he looked like he was going to go after the girl, but Scrap grabbed his arm to stop him. He was dead serious right now because it seemed like Asher thought that what just happened wasn't something he needed to be worried about when it was. "That made zero sense."
"Marceline is just an abused, scared kitten desperately searching for her forever home. All she's ever known is pain and suffering from those that are supposed to love and care about her." He clarified and earned a nod from Scrap, encouraging him to continue. "I haven't laid a finger on that girl and she knows I love her. I don't bring her any pain or harm with my feelings and she's not used to that, so she really doesn't know how to accept it or react to it. I can't blame her."
And there Scrap was again, sitting in a dark room with Asher. He worried about the guy sometimes because Asher didn't exactly think like everyone else did and in some cases, it was his unorthodox way of thinking that saved the MC's ass or got them a ton of money. He had the mind of a criminal as soon as he was born and there was no other way of living for him. Scrap knew and accepted a long time ago that Asher was likely going to die because of what went through his mind and how much trouble that tended to make for his President.
Scrap wasn't exactly sure when his best friend got tied up with the ginger girl, but he sure as shit wasn't going to let her go. Once he got to meet Marceline for the first time, he remembered asking Gage what the hell he was doing running around with jailbait on his arm because he knew it didn't take much to get Gage's pants off. Hell, it didn't take much to get any of their pants off and that was the problem. Dutchman got booked just for flirting with an underage girl about two years ago, but he was arrested due to her lying to the cops about him touching her.
Still, there was something about Gage that changed whenever Marceline was around and it wasn't for the best. Initially, Scrap was happy to hear that his friend was dating someone because Asher's never allowed himself to be anyone's boyfriend, not even when they were in school...then again, he was more focused on fighting and cutting deals when they were younger. He didn't know how Marceline came into Gage's life or what the hell happened between them that made Gage so crazy over her, but whatever attachment he had towards the girl was not a healthy one. He hired their go-to Drifter to kidnap her for God's sake. Gage claimed that he never hurt her or gave her any reason to be afraid of him, yet she pulled a gun on him and seemed ready to end his life mere moments ago.
"That girl is gonna straight up murder you one day, Asher." Scrap honestly told his President, not smirking or having a playful tone. He sincerely felt like Marceline was going to reach her limit and smother Asher while he was sleeping or she was going to get another gun and put a bullet through his eye.
"I'm all she has now, man. Without me being in her life, I don't think she'd be here with us today." Asher replied and Scrap was about to disagree, but Asher explained, "Remember when I was in lockup a couple years ago? Told you guys I had some old beef with some fucktard and got what they deserved?"
"Yeah, but what's that got to do with Marceline?"
"That fucktard was her Mom. I killed that bitch and enjoyed every second of it. I watched the life leave her eyes and it made me so fucking happy that going to jail was worth it."
"Asher, what the fuck?" Scrap asked in a mix of horror and shock at hearing what Gage just admitted to doing.
He didn't care about his President lying to the entire charter so much because telling the truth was only going to get him backlash, but murdering someone's mother? What kind of shit was that? In all the years he's been running with the Spartans, he's never murdered a woman or a child and he planned to keep it that way. He couldn't vouch for Grimm or even Dutchman, but he knew for sure that Madman Max, Beast Boy and Lucky have never done anything as heinous as that either.
"She's the reason why Marci's the way she is, all skittish and afraid of every goddamn thing." Gage grumbled. "I know what I'm doing here, Scrap. I know Marceline better than she knows herself. I know how to take care of her and make her happy and give her the kinda life she needs. Once she readjusts to being back home, I'll put the finishing touches on our honeymoon and she's gonna be your sister-in-law. Just relax, man. I got this."
With another smile, Gage pat Scrap on the back and walked off towards the kitchen. Scrap was unsure of if he should still be trying to get through to Gage because there seemed to be wool super-glued over his eyes and he was going to walk right into the slaughterhouse if he wasn't careful. He didn't know why Marceline was the way she was, but if Gage went and offed her Mom because he felt like she was the root of it, Scrap believed him. He could just look at Marceline and know that she's been abused, but what he was unsure of was if Gage had a hand in her abuse. He didn't take shit like that lightly because his little sister lost her life at her abusive boyfriend's hand when she was just 21, not too far off from how old Marci was. He was prepared to slaughter the sorry sack of shit that killed his sister, but his Mom begged him to let her soul rest and not to get sent to prison because she didn't want to lose her last child; it was traumatizing enough that she had to bury her only daughter.
Scrap sighed, 'Fuck this, man' and ran a hand through his hair at the emotions suddenly attacking him and making old memories arise from the depths of his mind where he buried them along with his baby sister's face. He couldn't even look at her in her casket at her funeral. He couldn't handle going through that shit again and he didn't want to be involved or anywhere near Gage when it happened. He felt like the entire building was beginning to constrict around him and he quickly walked outside to get some air. To hell with all that bullshit and fuck all those pitiful things he was feeling, he wasn't going back into the clubhouse until Marceline left.